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Married to Another Man: Israel's Dilemma in Palestine
Two rabbis, visiting Palestine in 1897, observed that the land was like a bride, 'beautiful, but married to another man'. By which they meant that, if a place was to be found for Israel in Palestine, where would the people of Palestine go? This is a dilemma that Israel has never been able to resolve.
No conflict today is more dangerous than that between Israel and the Palestinians. The implications it has for regional and global security cannot be overstated. The peace process as we know it is dead and no solution is in sight. Nor, as this book argues, will that change until everyone involved in finding a solution accepts the real causes of conflict, and its consequences on the ground.
Leading writer Ghada Karmi explains in fascinating detail the difficulties Israel's existence created for the Arab world and why the search for a solution has been so elusive. Ultimately, she argues that the conflict will end only once the needs of both Arabs and Israelis are accommodated equally. Her startling conclusions overturn conventional thinking - but they are hard to refute.
No conflict today is more dangerous than that between Israel and the Palestinians. The implications it has for regional and global security cannot be overstated. The peace process as we know it is dead and no solution is in sight. Nor, as this book argues, will that change until everyone involved in finding a solution accepts the real causes of conflict, and its consequences on the ground.
Leading writer Ghada Karmi explains in fascinating detail the difficulties Israel's existence created for the Arab world and why the search for a solution has been so elusive. Ultimately, she argues that the conflict will end only once the needs of both Arabs and Israelis are accommodated equally. Her startling conclusions overturn conventional thinking - but they are hard to refute.
315 pages, Paperback
First published June 27, 2007
11 people are currently reading
600 people want to read
About the author
Ghada Karmi
14 books156 followersDr Ghada Karmi was born in Palestine and then had to flee with her family when it became Israel. She grew up in Britain and now she's a doctor, author, academic, and well-know international commentator on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
Ghada still vividly remembers a huge bombing just behind her house in Jerusalem. "It was absolutely dreadful. I was bewildered, I was scared - I could see my parents were scared, which is very scary for a child because you think your parents know it all and they look after you. I knew, from that moment on, things had changed for us. I didn't know how, but things weren't going to be the same again."
After fleeing their family home, her family eventually settled in London. "My mother was very angry about the loss of the homeland. She didn't speak English, she didn't want to come that far afield, she just wasn't prepared. I'm afraid she never adapted, she stayed very Arab. I think it's a very great tragedy, one of the many, is people like my mother, who could not accept her exile, and was never really happy in Britain - and never found happiness again, in fact."
Unlike her mother, Ghada settled in fairly quickly. "I was a child. I made friends, I became very much part of the English way of life. I married an Englishman! I felt not just integrated, but assimilated."
Her idea for a one-state solution in the Middle East hasn't got much support as yet. "This is still a minority view. There is a constituency for it, on both sides, and also by the way among non-Jews and non-Palestinians, but the good news is - this constituency is growing. A few years back nobody was talking about the one-state solution. Today, three or four years on, we are hearing more and more voices raised in support. That, to me, shows that the trend is growing."
Ghada still vividly remembers a huge bombing just behind her house in Jerusalem. "It was absolutely dreadful. I was bewildered, I was scared - I could see my parents were scared, which is very scary for a child because you think your parents know it all and they look after you. I knew, from that moment on, things had changed for us. I didn't know how, but things weren't going to be the same again."
After fleeing their family home, her family eventually settled in London. "My mother was very angry about the loss of the homeland. She didn't speak English, she didn't want to come that far afield, she just wasn't prepared. I'm afraid she never adapted, she stayed very Arab. I think it's a very great tragedy, one of the many, is people like my mother, who could not accept her exile, and was never really happy in Britain - and never found happiness again, in fact."
Unlike her mother, Ghada settled in fairly quickly. "I was a child. I made friends, I became very much part of the English way of life. I married an Englishman! I felt not just integrated, but assimilated."
Her idea for a one-state solution in the Middle East hasn't got much support as yet. "This is still a minority view. There is a constituency for it, on both sides, and also by the way among non-Jews and non-Palestinians, but the good news is - this constituency is growing. A few years back nobody was talking about the one-state solution. Today, three or four years on, we are hearing more and more voices raised in support. That, to me, shows that the trend is growing."
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
November 9, 2012
I had picked this book up last year, on my visit to Israel and Palestine as an evaluator. The experience of standing before the huge wall that separates sections of the Palestinian population from their lands and livelihoods, was overwhelming.
Although my evaluation report (on the Palestine Programme of UNCTAD) has been submitted a while ago, my interest in understanding the origins of the longest conflict in our post-World war existence, remained unsatiated. I wanted to know more about the Palestinians' and Israelis' mutually intrangisent views on peaceful co-existence.
Returning to the book after a year, I find it highly informative. It provides insights into the perspectives of both sides. Of course, one cannot judge the writer on bias and leaning toward any one side, for the passion and pain involved make it impossible to be fully dispassionate in the matter, especially if you happen to be one of the two parties. Also, the most authoritative accounts on the subject have only been written by scholars of Arab or Jewish lineage. Bias is inherent and pardonable.
Reading through, the value of the book is in its enabling the outsider an independent impression. My takeaway: the three biggest complications in the Israel Palestine issue are a) the issue is not one merely for statehood, it is rooted in a core religious claim and securing a divine birthright; b)the stand of the US at the UN Security Council, caught in its own internal lobbyism by the powerful Jewish lobby and c) most unfortunately, the religious branding of terror, which I feel imposes another unfair judgement on the issue and clouds the thinking on the statehood issue.
A solution to this unique situation cannot come from the machinations of politics or the flexing of power. Instead, the more I ponder, the more I am convinced that the answer is in tolerance and love, once the wounds have been covered with the tissue of a new generation. As one of few Indians that have been to Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Al Aqsa, Gaza and Ramallah, I noted with interest a rally that was based on Mahatma Gandhiji's principles.
A useful read, among others. Equally important to read the Israeli side of the argument.
Although my evaluation report (on the Palestine Programme of UNCTAD) has been submitted a while ago, my interest in understanding the origins of the longest conflict in our post-World war existence, remained unsatiated. I wanted to know more about the Palestinians' and Israelis' mutually intrangisent views on peaceful co-existence.
Returning to the book after a year, I find it highly informative. It provides insights into the perspectives of both sides. Of course, one cannot judge the writer on bias and leaning toward any one side, for the passion and pain involved make it impossible to be fully dispassionate in the matter, especially if you happen to be one of the two parties. Also, the most authoritative accounts on the subject have only been written by scholars of Arab or Jewish lineage. Bias is inherent and pardonable.
Reading through, the value of the book is in its enabling the outsider an independent impression. My takeaway: the three biggest complications in the Israel Palestine issue are a) the issue is not one merely for statehood, it is rooted in a core religious claim and securing a divine birthright; b)the stand of the US at the UN Security Council, caught in its own internal lobbyism by the powerful Jewish lobby and c) most unfortunately, the religious branding of terror, which I feel imposes another unfair judgement on the issue and clouds the thinking on the statehood issue.
A solution to this unique situation cannot come from the machinations of politics or the flexing of power. Instead, the more I ponder, the more I am convinced that the answer is in tolerance and love, once the wounds have been covered with the tissue of a new generation. As one of few Indians that have been to Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Al Aqsa, Gaza and Ramallah, I noted with interest a rally that was based on Mahatma Gandhiji's principles.
A useful read, among others. Equally important to read the Israeli side of the argument.
March 24, 2011
This book provides a great analysis on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, its impact on other Arab countries, the peace process and the factors which contribute to the bad situation nowadays. A must read book to understand the depth of the cause.
Want to read
May 25, 2007i havent read this yet. But I look forward to. This author is the granma of one of my favoritest teachers.
July 25, 2009
Very informative and excellent reading.
May 2, 2012
This book and Ilan Pappe's Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine I highly recommend for explaining the conflict and why we have failed to see a solution. The one state solution is discussed and advocated. I agree and enjoyed the rarely discussed nuance of binational versus secular democratic as well as the suggestions of Belgian, Czech, and other models. Leaders of this so called peace process in the Quartet should have a look at both books.
September 23, 2012
I cannot comment on this book objectively. Just because the book is not objective neither. There are some points that are factually accurate, some are less but the sole point from the book, namely blaming the existence of Israel for the undemocratic, military regimes in the Middle East. The idea specifically redundant as proven in my view by the events of so called 'Arab Spring'.
April 5, 2017
Quite an eye-opening perspective to read as an American Jew who went on birthright, though difficult to distance the author's personal perspective and experience from the argument put forth. Her bitterness, however seems to be not a flaw but a quality of the book that further helps to bring to light the convoluted and charged nature of the issue.
March 21, 2017
most of the subject matter covered by Karmi is well known, especially to people on the left. She makes a fair amount of valid points, but by the end it is basically pretty basic stuff or, what is worse, apologetic of groups like Hamas. Her main proposition for fixing the problem is a very interesting one (a common state for Palestinians and Jews), but it is doubtful if it can come to being
May 2, 2019
Having been to Israel about ten years ago, I could understand Karmi's view of the Israeli/Palestinian situation. The Palestinians are an oppressed people, and it doesn't seem possible for the Israelis to change their attitude to the Palestinians as a people with rights and privileges. It is a dilemma.
November 8, 2025
“The Palestinian territories would become more radicalised, ungovernable and unviable. Those Palestinians who had not emigrated, the majority, would find ways of penetrating into Israel for work or food, and fighters would continue to take revenge, perhaps in ways that cannot be imagined now.”
So writes Karmi - in 2007 - of the consequences of ever-increasing Israeli repression of Palestinians. Two decades later, things are worse than ever before and it remains an open question how much more blood and suffering it will take before everyone acknowledges the obvious: there is and will only be one state between the river and the sea. The only question is whether it will be in an apartheid ethno-theocracy, or a secular democracy populated by equals.
So writes Karmi - in 2007 - of the consequences of ever-increasing Israeli repression of Palestinians. Two decades later, things are worse than ever before and it remains an open question how much more blood and suffering it will take before everyone acknowledges the obvious: there is and will only be one state between the river and the sea. The only question is whether it will be in an apartheid ethno-theocracy, or a secular democracy populated by equals.
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July 15, 2023From “Bride is beautiful: An irresistible anti-Zionist story”
In the prologue to his popular history of the Arab-Israeli conflict, The Iron Wall: Israel and the Arab World (first published by W. W. Norton & Co., 2000), professor Avi Shlaim of Oxford University claimed the following (p. 3):
The publication of [Theodor Herzl’s] The Jewish State evoked various reactions in the Jewish community, some strongly favorable, some hostile, and some skeptical. After the Basel Congress [i.e., the First Zionist Congress, in 1897] the rabbis of Vienna sent two representatives to Palestine. This fact-finding mission resulted in a cable from Palestine in which the two rabbis wrote, “The bride is beautiful, but she is married to another man.”
Though stories incorporating the phrase “The bride is beautiful, but she is married to another man” lack a primary source, and though there has been no basis for recounting them as historical events that occurred during the early years of the Zionist movement, different versions have appeared in many articles, books, and films.
University of Exeter professor Ghada Karmi, for instance, based the title and thesis of her 2007 Married to Another Man: Israel’s Dilemma in Palestine—in which she argued for the dissolution of the Jewish state—on a version of these stories. Former Swedish diplomat Ingmar Karlsson emulated her with his 2012 anti-Zionist book Bruden är vacker men har redan en man: Sionisme—en ideologi vid vägs ände? (The bride is beautiful but there is already a husband: Zionism—an ideology at the end of the road?), which was funded and distributed by the Swedish Arts Council.
Often, as with Avi Shlaim and Ghada Karmi, no source at all has been provided for these stories in the published writings of those who have told them. At other times, a specious one has been put forward. In the opening paragraph of his 2011 article “Cry No More for Me, Palestine—Mahmoud Darwish” (College Literature 38:4, pp. 1-43), for example, Mustapha Marrouchi cited Henry M. Christman’s The State Papers of Levi Eshkol as a source for the version he told, though there is actually no story with the phrase “The bride is beautiful, but she is married to another man” in Christman’s book.
In the prologue to his popular history of the Arab-Israeli conflict, The Iron Wall: Israel and the Arab World (first published by W. W. Norton & Co., 2000), professor Avi Shlaim of Oxford University claimed the following (p. 3):
The publication of [Theodor Herzl’s] The Jewish State evoked various reactions in the Jewish community, some strongly favorable, some hostile, and some skeptical. After the Basel Congress [i.e., the First Zionist Congress, in 1897] the rabbis of Vienna sent two representatives to Palestine. This fact-finding mission resulted in a cable from Palestine in which the two rabbis wrote, “The bride is beautiful, but she is married to another man.”
Though stories incorporating the phrase “The bride is beautiful, but she is married to another man” lack a primary source, and though there has been no basis for recounting them as historical events that occurred during the early years of the Zionist movement, different versions have appeared in many articles, books, and films.
University of Exeter professor Ghada Karmi, for instance, based the title and thesis of her 2007 Married to Another Man: Israel’s Dilemma in Palestine—in which she argued for the dissolution of the Jewish state—on a version of these stories. Former Swedish diplomat Ingmar Karlsson emulated her with his 2012 anti-Zionist book Bruden är vacker men har redan en man: Sionisme—en ideologi vid vägs ände? (The bride is beautiful but there is already a husband: Zionism—an ideology at the end of the road?), which was funded and distributed by the Swedish Arts Council.
Often, as with Avi Shlaim and Ghada Karmi, no source at all has been provided for these stories in the published writings of those who have told them. At other times, a specious one has been put forward. In the opening paragraph of his 2011 article “Cry No More for Me, Palestine—Mahmoud Darwish” (College Literature 38:4, pp. 1-43), for example, Mustapha Marrouchi cited Henry M. Christman’s The State Papers of Levi Eshkol as a source for the version he told, though there is actually no story with the phrase “The bride is beautiful, but she is married to another man” in Christman’s book.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews