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Why Suicide?: Questions and Answers About Suicide, Suicide Prevention, and Coping with the Suicide of Someone You Know – A Non-Judgmental and Compassionate Guide
In our lifetimes 85 percent of us will have some up-close experience with the suicide of someone we know. And more than 20 percent of us will have a family member die by suicide. Journalist Eric Marcus knows this better than most people. In 1970, his father took his life at the age of 44. In 2008, his 49-year-old sister-in-law took her life as well.
In a completely revised and updated edition of the landmark original WHY SUICIDE?, Eric Marcus offers thoughtful answers to scores of questions about this complex, painful issue from how to recognize the signs of someone who is suicidal to strategies for coping in the aftermath of a loved one's death.
No matter what the circumstances, those of us who are affected by suicide are left with difficult and disturbing
* Why did they do it?
* Was it my fault?
* What should I tell people when they ask what happened?
* Is someone who attempts suicide likely to try again?
* What should I do if I'm thinking of killing myself?
Drawing from his own experience, as well as interviews with people who have been touched by suicide, Eric Marcus cuts through the veil of silence and misunderstanding to bring clarity, reassurance, and comfort to those who so desperately need it.
In a completely revised and updated edition of the landmark original WHY SUICIDE?, Eric Marcus offers thoughtful answers to scores of questions about this complex, painful issue from how to recognize the signs of someone who is suicidal to strategies for coping in the aftermath of a loved one's death.
No matter what the circumstances, those of us who are affected by suicide are left with difficult and disturbing
* Why did they do it?
* Was it my fault?
* What should I tell people when they ask what happened?
* Is someone who attempts suicide likely to try again?
* What should I do if I'm thinking of killing myself?
Drawing from his own experience, as well as interviews with people who have been touched by suicide, Eric Marcus cuts through the veil of silence and misunderstanding to bring clarity, reassurance, and comfort to those who so desperately need it.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1996
30 people are currently reading
228 people want to read
About the author
Eric Marcus
33 books31 followersEric Marcus is a communications expert who has been communicating with the broad public and specific niche audiences for three decades. His work has ranged from writing consumer-oriented books and developing promotional and informational materials for non-profit and commercial enterprises to production jobs for both documentaries and television network news.
Eric’s ten books include Why Suicide?, What If Someone I Know Is Gay?, and Breaking the Surface, the #1 New York Times best-selling autobiography of Olympic diving champion Greg Louganis. In addition, Eric has written articles and columns for the New York Times, New York Daily News, New York Post, Newsweek, and the New Jersey Star-Ledger.
His many clients have included Waldenbooks, PBS “American Experience,” and Sanky Communications (for which he has worked on development materials for Planned Parenthood NYC, the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation, and MOMA, among others). Most recently, Eric has worked with the family of the late Sir James Goldsmith to create detailed illustrated guides for their two nature reserves and luxury resorts that convey to guests, potential guests, and travel industry experts the essential qualities and features of these remarkable places.
Eric is a former associate producer for ABC’s “Good Morning America” and “CBS This Morning.” For a recent PBS “American Experience” documentary about the 1969 Stonewall uprising in New York’s Greenwich Village, Eric wore several hats, including advisor, associate producer, still photographer, and author of the film’s online teaching guide.
In addition to his behind-the-scenes work, Eric also has extensive experience on the other side of the microphone and camera as a spokesman on a range of issues related to his books. He is also a seasoned moderator and conversation facilitator, and in that capacity has worked in both public and private forums for clients ranging from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association to Unilever and the University of South Dakota.
Eric Marcus is a graduate of New York City public schools, after which he attended Vassar College and earned master’s degrees from Columbia University in both journalism and real estate development.
Eric’s ten books include Why Suicide?, What If Someone I Know Is Gay?, and Breaking the Surface, the #1 New York Times best-selling autobiography of Olympic diving champion Greg Louganis. In addition, Eric has written articles and columns for the New York Times, New York Daily News, New York Post, Newsweek, and the New Jersey Star-Ledger.
His many clients have included Waldenbooks, PBS “American Experience,” and Sanky Communications (for which he has worked on development materials for Planned Parenthood NYC, the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation, and MOMA, among others). Most recently, Eric has worked with the family of the late Sir James Goldsmith to create detailed illustrated guides for their two nature reserves and luxury resorts that convey to guests, potential guests, and travel industry experts the essential qualities and features of these remarkable places.
Eric is a former associate producer for ABC’s “Good Morning America” and “CBS This Morning.” For a recent PBS “American Experience” documentary about the 1969 Stonewall uprising in New York’s Greenwich Village, Eric wore several hats, including advisor, associate producer, still photographer, and author of the film’s online teaching guide.
In addition to his behind-the-scenes work, Eric also has extensive experience on the other side of the microphone and camera as a spokesman on a range of issues related to his books. He is also a seasoned moderator and conversation facilitator, and in that capacity has worked in both public and private forums for clients ranging from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association to Unilever and the University of South Dakota.
Eric Marcus is a graduate of New York City public schools, after which he attended Vassar College and earned master’s degrees from Columbia University in both journalism and real estate development.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
December 26, 2015
The author of the book survived the Suicide of his father and provides a profound insight into the world of Suicide. The book includes Teen/Youth Suicide, Elderly Suicide, Attempted Suicide, Assisted Suicide, Coping with Suicide and Prevention and Treatment.
A very good and easy introduction.
A very good and easy introduction.
July 9, 2019
If you are contemplating reading this book, or have read it, and the work creates triggers, or re-enforces, feelings of self-harm or suicide, please seek help. One excellent resource available no matter where you live is - https://www.beyondblue.org.au
Also as I write my thoughts in July 2019, the Victorian state government (Australia) are holding public hearings into its mental health system, a system that needs improvement. It is positive, in that the issue of Metal Health and the government system to provide support is being both publicly discussed and acted upon.
Thoughts on the work
Primarily United States of American focused both in content, approach and referenced. So if you are not American components of it may be irrelevant or foreign in manner and approach.
Is it of interest therefore to a non American reader? Is it of value or relevance ? Well, just as the author presents his and others opinions on the 200 questions, so to can only the reader answer the questions from their perspective. Personally I found the responses provided of limited immediate value as they do not relate to the time and place I live in, however they generated thought as to how the ‘whole” question and response could be applied to my reality.
On raw content I’d rate this 3 stars, however overall, and for it’s potential level of importance to more than myself, I’m rating it 5.
Also as I write my thoughts in July 2019, the Victorian state government (Australia) are holding public hearings into its mental health system, a system that needs improvement. It is positive, in that the issue of Metal Health and the government system to provide support is being both publicly discussed and acted upon.
Thoughts on the work
Primarily United States of American focused both in content, approach and referenced. So if you are not American components of it may be irrelevant or foreign in manner and approach.
Is it of interest therefore to a non American reader? Is it of value or relevance ? Well, just as the author presents his and others opinions on the 200 questions, so to can only the reader answer the questions from their perspective. Personally I found the responses provided of limited immediate value as they do not relate to the time and place I live in, however they generated thought as to how the ‘whole” question and response could be applied to my reality.
On raw content I’d rate this 3 stars, however overall, and for it’s potential level of importance to more than myself, I’m rating it 5.
July 31, 2023
3,5/5. Maybe more of a general public book then I expected it to be. It even felt a bit dated at time. Nonetheless an interesting book, for anybody who knows very little about suicide and want to understand it better. The concept is simple, but it's what also make it very accessible. A journalist takes common question on the topic and try to answer them giving concise explanation. Not necessarily intend to be read cover to cover, but by section following the need of the reader, so that a strong point, but the problem with book like that is that if you choose to read the entire thing, well you get a lot of repetition. So, obviously not a perfect work, but an important book, that I think could help people that are touch by suicide, was it near or farther away from them directly.
December 16, 2017
Dealing with the suicide of my husband as well as attempts made by myself and other loved ones this helped to give perspective, as well as give me answer to some of my children's questions.
If you are ever doing a research paper on suicide this book would be very helpful. The author wrote of how suicide impacted his life. He also discussed others stories in a detailed and compassionate manner.
If you are ever doing a research paper on suicide this book would be very helpful. The author wrote of how suicide impacted his life. He also discussed others stories in a detailed and compassionate manner.
March 31, 2023
"Why suicide?" by Eric Marcus is as beautiful a book as can be written about such an awful subject.
Very helpful.
The only issue I had with it is that it's so US-centred, but I guess everyone can do their own research about associations and groups specific to their own country
Very helpful.
The only issue I had with it is that it's so US-centred, but I guess everyone can do their own research about associations and groups specific to their own country
January 10, 2018
I agree with what other reviews have said about this book. An excellent addition to anybody's mental health library or someone who is just interested in suicide specifically.
January 19, 2023
Very informative and surprisingly still very accurate even 20 years later. Highly recommend. (It’s also not this long of a read, other circumstances prevented me from finishing sooner)
January 13, 2012
This book was published in 1996 by Harper Collins.
Page 82
Why do elderly white men have the highest rate of suicide?
In general, elderly white men have the furthest to fall both economically and socially as they age. They are also less likely to have a strong support network, and they are far less likely to ask for help.
Page 85
Is it harder for doctors to detect suicidal signs in an older person than in a younger person?
Unless the doctor is specifically trained to deal with the elderly, yes. That's because the elderly are less likely than younger people to talk about their problems. And when they do, the doctor may simply assume that talk of being depressed or wanting to die just goes along with old age.
Page 88
What can be done to reduce suicide among the elderly?
Some things are very practical and doable ....
Then there are those things that are less practical and less doable, like changing our society so that older people feel more valued and have more opportunities to play a meaningful role in their communities.
Page 97
How can you help someone who has attempted suicide?
...The key is to avoid making judgments, and to listen.
Page 122
The suicide of a loved one is the ultimate rejection. The person has gone forever, and those left behind, whether parents, children, spouses, or friends, can't help but feel rejected and/or abandoned.
Page 134, 135
Suicide's impact on a family can be monumental. The act of suicide can also kill a family.
Page 137
How do husband/wives react to the suicide?
Even if their relationship was a good one, the suicide is likely to be interpreted as something of a referendum on their married life.
Page 140
How do couples react to the suicide of a child?
My husband couldn't deal with the pain (of the child's suicide) so he began to drink. I told him a month or two after he began drinking, "I understand why you're drinking, but I have to tell you I can't handle my grief and your drinking at the same time.
Page 143
No matter how a child reacts to the suicide of a mother or father, keep in mind that to a child the loss of a parent is enormously traumatic no matter what the cause of death. When that death is a suicide, when that parent has actively chosen to leave, the impact is even greater. And as the child grows up, he or she will have to wrestle with what his or her parent has done. Was this the right choice? Is suicide a viable alternative? It's a hell of a legacy.
Page 146
When my father died several days later, the official word was that he had died of pneumonia. What that lie indicated to me was that suicide was a terrible and embarrassing thing. My father's death was something to e ashamed of. I also learned that adults weren't to be trusted: they lie. I know these weren't the messages my family wanted to convey to me, but that's what I (a 12 year old) received.
Page 82
Why do elderly white men have the highest rate of suicide?
In general, elderly white men have the furthest to fall both economically and socially as they age. They are also less likely to have a strong support network, and they are far less likely to ask for help.
Page 85
Is it harder for doctors to detect suicidal signs in an older person than in a younger person?
Unless the doctor is specifically trained to deal with the elderly, yes. That's because the elderly are less likely than younger people to talk about their problems. And when they do, the doctor may simply assume that talk of being depressed or wanting to die just goes along with old age.
Page 88
What can be done to reduce suicide among the elderly?
Some things are very practical and doable ....
Then there are those things that are less practical and less doable, like changing our society so that older people feel more valued and have more opportunities to play a meaningful role in their communities.
Page 97
How can you help someone who has attempted suicide?
...The key is to avoid making judgments, and to listen.
Page 122
The suicide of a loved one is the ultimate rejection. The person has gone forever, and those left behind, whether parents, children, spouses, or friends, can't help but feel rejected and/or abandoned.
Page 134, 135
Suicide's impact on a family can be monumental. The act of suicide can also kill a family.
Page 137
How do husband/wives react to the suicide?
Even if their relationship was a good one, the suicide is likely to be interpreted as something of a referendum on their married life.
Page 140
How do couples react to the suicide of a child?
My husband couldn't deal with the pain (of the child's suicide) so he began to drink. I told him a month or two after he began drinking, "I understand why you're drinking, but I have to tell you I can't handle my grief and your drinking at the same time.
Page 143
No matter how a child reacts to the suicide of a mother or father, keep in mind that to a child the loss of a parent is enormously traumatic no matter what the cause of death. When that death is a suicide, when that parent has actively chosen to leave, the impact is even greater. And as the child grows up, he or she will have to wrestle with what his or her parent has done. Was this the right choice? Is suicide a viable alternative? It's a hell of a legacy.
Page 146
When my father died several days later, the official word was that he had died of pneumonia. What that lie indicated to me was that suicide was a terrible and embarrassing thing. My father's death was something to e ashamed of. I also learned that adults weren't to be trusted: they lie. I know these weren't the messages my family wanted to convey to me, but that's what I (a 12 year old) received.
February 17, 2015
This book would make decent research and reference material for a paper or project on suicide. Marcus uses both his own personal experiences with suicide as well as those of other people involved, directly and indirectly, to answer many questions about suicide.
This is probably not the best book for someone who just lost someone to suicide or is thinking about suicide, as Marcus is more focused on answering the questions from a neutral position and not trying to solve the emotional problems. He does list multiple references and suggestions for ways to help in those situations though.
This is probably not the best book for someone who just lost someone to suicide or is thinking about suicide, as Marcus is more focused on answering the questions from a neutral position and not trying to solve the emotional problems. He does list multiple references and suggestions for ways to help in those situations though.
January 28, 2008
At first glance I thought this was maybe the first book about Why Suicide? answers to 200 questions and that Adina Wrobleski had just added some updates to her book but as I read more into this book even though it was printed later, it still held some more information that wasn't in Adina's book. I picked this one up at the library while there looking for some other books on this subject since I am a survivor of suicide.
October 27, 2008
Eric Marcus answers some of the most frequently asked questions about suicide (including physician-assisted suicide) in this clear, accessible book. If you know someone who committed suicide, are preparing for a career in a "helping" profession, or are just interested in the topic, I highly recommend this book.
August 26, 2015
This book is laid out in a question and answer format and covers a broad range of issues related to suicide. I found it very informative and well worth reading, especially by anyone touched by suicide. I was surprised how little I understood about some aspects of suicide including widely accepted myths.
Read
February 27, 2008I recommend this to anyone who has dealt with this personally or among family. Because of the finality of it, it's something hard for many to understand.
Want to read
July 10, 2009From Hsu notes.
February 28, 2011
I found this book helpful in dealing with the suicide of my son. I found the chapter #7 the most informative for me. I have recommended it to others in my family.
Read
May 6, 2012For a health project
December 22, 2012
I found this book to be very liberal, which is fine since I was reading it from a psychology perspective. I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to someone who had lost one to suicide.
January 20, 2013
Written in a Q&A format. Very informative, most common questions answers in a very clear, compassionate way.
September 17, 2013
This book is pretty straight forward, it has some eye opening information worth thinking about.
May 2, 2015
Very insightful.
Some information is repeated several times. Most of the book is in the form of Q & A.
Some information is repeated several times. Most of the book is in the form of Q & A.
Want to read
January 3, 2011Recommended by Dear Abby in one of her columns. I suspect I'll need a box of tissues handy.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews