I really really wanted to like this book. It's self-published, in itself, a brave move. The author was employed at Lehman Brothers before its collapse in 2008 and this is an alternative direction for him as a career. I applaud his courage and fortitude at going it alone in this manner, but I can't help but feel that what we're left with is significantly sub-standard and that if this is his best effort, he needs desperately to get back into banking. Once again, it feels like the old stereotypical view of self-publishing, that it's for the people who couldn't make it in the "real" world. While I know that's not the case, this novel doesn't go very far towards proving it.
The plot is interesting, the setting engaging but underdeveloped. A few more comments about things like the artificial gravity, the different environments of the other planets, the space stations etc would not have gone amiss. As it was, we were left with a fairly bland understanding of exactly what this universe looked like. Even the bad-guys were incredibly stereotypical. Black-leather clad soldiers with round helmets with red eyes. Darth Vader meets the Cylons. Hardly inventive.
Similarly, with the limited description of the environment comes limited description of the action. All the important elements are there, and when they are, they are done well. I particularly liked a deception in one scene where two fighters collide, but with one's shields significantly more advanced than another’s, the former emerges completely unscathed. However, it's what's missing that's important here. On one occasion, five fighters face down what is described as the largest and most powerful battleship there is. Yet the encounter is dealt with in less than four paragraphs, and not very long ones at that. I felt like I had been cheated out of some well described combat sequences, there just wasn't enough depth.
Linked into that, is the universe as a whole. Do the shields deflect solids, energy or both? Is the FTL instant or does it take time? What sort of weapons are being used? These all sound like insignificant questions, but in Sci-Fi if they are not dealt with, it seems like a flim-flam of bodged writing.
Then we come to the characters. While all the ones we interact with consistently on a regular basis (the five members of the "White Knights" fighter squadron) are fleshed out well enough to give us a good idea of who each one is, they often don't interact very realistically. The chief example of this is the squadron leader, who is routinely undermined by her subordinates, and seems to me more like a stuffy mother trying to control her children than the leader of an efficient fighting unit. I'm reminded of something from Battlestar Galactica, where Starbuck and Apollo spar off.
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: You're the CAG, act like one.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: What does that mean?
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: It means that you're still acting like everyone's best friend. We're not friends. You're the CAG! "Be careful out there?" Our job isn't to be careful, it's to shoot fracking Cylons out of the sky! "Good Hunting" is what you say. And one of your idiot pilots is acting like a child and refusing to take her pills. So she either says "Yes, sir" and obeys a direct order, or you smack her in the mouth and drag her sorry ass to sickbay and you make her take those pills!
The dialogue too, is less than believable. When we see one pilot, who I imagined to be, given the way he'd been depicted, a hard nosed, jock of an army officer, say something like "Can it, this is really annoying me" when being insulted by his fellow pilots, we tend to shake our heads. I understand the intent to avoid swearing and other harsh language, but there are other ways around that sort of thing.
The writing was also riddled with these jarring moments. The worst one of these is a large chunk of universe setting up which occurs just after an important mission briefing, during what we’re supposed to believe is a casual conversation between pilots on the flight deck. Sci-fi is a difficult genre to write in, often because of the need to set up the universe and tell a story, but that’s no excuse for vomiting up chunks of history that may as well have a massive neon sign with the word “EXPOSITION” written all over them.
Juddering, illusion breaking sections abound in this piece. There is a fairly obvious romance set up paragraph, jarringly out of place near an action scene and with no contextualising romance elsewhere, making it stick out like a sore thumb. At another point, a logo design is described as having the “outline” of a man on it, but clearly it must have more detail than just his outline as they can see that this ‘outline’ is naked. Also, at several points, information is repeated over and over as it makes its way down the levels in the military chain of command. When two people in different conversations reacted similarly in response some shocking information, Sweeny describes the second reaction as mimicking the first, but neither had seen the other, and ‘mimicking’ implies a deliberate attempt to imitate.
These may all seem like small, nit-picking errors, but what they end up doing is drawing the reader out of the environment that was created for them, and instead refocus their attention back in the room, siting with their Kindle (this is mostly e-book published), scratching their head at the word usage.
I really wanted to like this book, truly and honestly I did. But in the end, it just feels like another example of the saying "the slush pile has moved online". I'll read the sequel, but I hope that by then, we see a significant improvement.