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Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think about Marrying
The period of young adulthood, from ages 18 to 23, is popularly considered the most sexualized in life. But is it true? What do we really know about the sexual lives of young people today?Premarital Sex in America combines illuminating personal stories and comprehensive research surveys to provide the fullest portrait of heterosexuality among young adults ever produced. Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker draw upon a wealth of survey data as well as scores of in-depth interviews with young adults from around the country, both in and out of college. Digging underneath stereotypes and unexamined assumptions, the authors offer compelling--and often surprising--answers to such questions How do the emotional aspects of sexual relations differ between young men and women? What role do political orientations play in their sexual relations? How have online dating and social networking sites affected the relationships of emerging adults? Why are young people today waiting so much longer to marry? How prevalent are nontraditional forms of sex, and what do people think of them? To better understand what drives the sexual behaviors of emerging adults, Regnerus and Uecker pay special attention to two important sexual scripts, the unwritten and often unconscious rules that guide sexual behavior and attitudes; and sexual economics, a theory which suggests that the relative scarcity of men on college campuses contributes to the "hookup" culture by allowing men to diminish their level of commitment and thereby lower the "price" they have to "pay" for sex.For anyone wishing to understand how sexual relations between young adults have changed and are changing, Premarital Sex in America will serve as a touchstone for years to come.
305 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 12, 2010
7 people are currently reading
356 people want to read
About the author
Mark Regnerus
7 books39 followersSociology professor at the University of Texas at Austin.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
December 13, 2014
I wish I could give this book 2 1/2 stars. It contains a lot of truths. Some obvious truths, some happy truths, quite a bit of depressing truths. (My roommates and I lamented over being part of the mere 27.4 % of women in our age group that aren't in relationships.) Some of it was very interesting and even enjoyable to read, especially the first few chapters about the hooking up culture and sex on college campuses. The amount of statistics they included was a bit overdone. Many were as bizarre and specific as,"only .6 percent of 18-23 Hispanic women who are in college or graduated, have married parents, are Catholic, and attend Mass some have had more than 5 sexual partners in their lifetime."
I wasn't a huge fan of the tone of this book in its later chapters. The conservative bias really came through, at times sarcastically and in my opinion, unprofessionally. I'm not against academics writing persuasive books that reflect only one viewpoint, but really, you're going to make a tongue and cheek comment like 'claiming that being conservative makes you religious is the same thing as saying being rich will make you a Republican'? (I could argue that it does, but I won't here.) You're going to describe a young man with a tumultuous family life as a "dark version of Napoleon Dynamite"? I'm taking classes at a respected university. I don't want to read books written by authors with the maturity of a twelve year old.
I wasn't a huge fan of the tone of this book in its later chapters. The conservative bias really came through, at times sarcastically and in my opinion, unprofessionally. I'm not against academics writing persuasive books that reflect only one viewpoint, but really, you're going to make a tongue and cheek comment like 'claiming that being conservative makes you religious is the same thing as saying being rich will make you a Republican'? (I could argue that it does, but I won't here.) You're going to describe a young man with a tumultuous family life as a "dark version of Napoleon Dynamite"? I'm taking classes at a respected university. I don't want to read books written by authors with the maturity of a twelve year old.
November 26, 2018
Really fascinating book that takes a very statistics-driven approach to examine what 18-23 year-olds actually do and believe regarding premarital sex. I really appreciated the fact that the book not only gave clear, hard numbers regarding certain trends in America but also talked about the limitations of statistics--the fact that they don't give great qualitative analysis and the fact that by themselves they tend to isolate characteristics of people instead of treating them as full, holistic human beings. As a result, the fact that they interspersed statistical analysis with personal conversations they've had with people about these subjects and with frequent reminders of the limitations of quantitative analysis was really helpful. Lots to appreciate about the methodology behind this book.
Couple highlights of what I found most interesting while reading the book:
- For all the talk about promiscuity on college campuses, college students are actually less likely to have regular sex than non-college students.
- Women tend to become more depressed and less satisfied with life for each additional sexual partner they have; men's depression and satisfaction rates tend to not be connected with how many sexual partners they have, for the most part.
- The less women there are on a college campus, the less sexual partners they tend to have.
- Sexual scripts and sexual economics play huge roles in governing American sexuality.
There's a bunch more really interesting stuff in this book, but those stood out for me and have given me the most food for thought. There's a lot of really interesting points the book makes about just how much culture affects our own views (and practices) regarding sexuality. Overall, this is a really valuable resource for understanding the status quo and diagnosing the root of the problems in American sexuality.
Rating: 4.5 Stars (Excellent).
Couple highlights of what I found most interesting while reading the book:
- For all the talk about promiscuity on college campuses, college students are actually less likely to have regular sex than non-college students.
- Women tend to become more depressed and less satisfied with life for each additional sexual partner they have; men's depression and satisfaction rates tend to not be connected with how many sexual partners they have, for the most part.
- The less women there are on a college campus, the less sexual partners they tend to have.
- Sexual scripts and sexual economics play huge roles in governing American sexuality.
There's a bunch more really interesting stuff in this book, but those stood out for me and have given me the most food for thought. There's a lot of really interesting points the book makes about just how much culture affects our own views (and practices) regarding sexuality. Overall, this is a really valuable resource for understanding the status quo and diagnosing the root of the problems in American sexuality.
Rating: 4.5 Stars (Excellent).
October 22, 2011
Five stars. That's rare for me. Nevertheless, I simply could not put this book down. It's a heavy read. It's full of hard, undeniable facts we've all known about but no one wants to admit. It leaves nothing out. It introduces lots of new vocabulary about sex in America such as sexual economics theory, sexual scripts, and the changing attitutes of oral vs. vaginal. The statistic tables are hard to read but easy to skip over and the authors are kind enough to include the same demographical findings of the sexual behavior and history of young American adults in the text.
Everyone can find themselves somewhere in this book. I did, on p.65, in the section about double standards (Utah has a Mormon "double standard" too when it comes so sex) and the losers like me who set such a high price for sex that I miss out on all the fun of cohabitation while watching as the pool of available men shrinks before my eyes. Indeed, I've been observing that shrinking pool since high school where the imbalanced sex ratio between males and females condemned me from the very start and my dreams of a temple marriage never came to fruition. The authors conclude that pornography is entirely to blame and I'm in 100% agreement.
This book gave me some validation as to why, until Sheri Dew dies, I'm destined to be the oldest living virgin in Utah! Read this book and pass it on to everyone you know.
Everyone can find themselves somewhere in this book. I did, on p.65, in the section about double standards (Utah has a Mormon "double standard" too when it comes so sex) and the losers like me who set such a high price for sex that I miss out on all the fun of cohabitation while watching as the pool of available men shrinks before my eyes. Indeed, I've been observing that shrinking pool since high school where the imbalanced sex ratio between males and females condemned me from the very start and my dreams of a temple marriage never came to fruition. The authors conclude that pornography is entirely to blame and I'm in 100% agreement.
This book gave me some validation as to why, until Sheri Dew dies, I'm destined to be the oldest living virgin in Utah! Read this book and pass it on to everyone you know.
October 27, 2012
A great read, especially for those with any influence on youth and young adults.
Regnerus discusses the "sexual scripts" or pre-marital norms imprinted on emerging adults from their peers, parents, and society at large versus the reality of their sexual experiences (or inexperience). Until I read this book, I was unaware how readily I accepted the inaccurate assumptions of how relationships start and last (or don't) and the media's portrayal of the sexual norms of emerging adults outside of my relatively chaste subculture. I had no idea how little sex was going on at university campuses and how much was occurring off of them by those who don't go to college, and apparently other young adults don't either. I appreciated the academic treatment and found his conclusions on emerging adults to be some of the best literature I've read on the subject.
Regnerus discusses the "sexual scripts" or pre-marital norms imprinted on emerging adults from their peers, parents, and society at large versus the reality of their sexual experiences (or inexperience). Until I read this book, I was unaware how readily I accepted the inaccurate assumptions of how relationships start and last (or don't) and the media's portrayal of the sexual norms of emerging adults outside of my relatively chaste subculture. I had no idea how little sex was going on at university campuses and how much was occurring off of them by those who don't go to college, and apparently other young adults don't either. I appreciated the academic treatment and found his conclusions on emerging adults to be some of the best literature I've read on the subject.
July 10, 2011
I thought this book was very interesting. I was worried it would be too statistic-y for me, and there were a couple times I had to reread things, overall I found it easier to read than I had expected. I found myself comparing what Regnerus and Uecker and the stats were saying to me and my friends lives and found myself agreeing or finding some understanding. I was thoroughly intrigued and even though it took me longer to then a fiction book would have I recommend this book to all as I found it enlightening in a lot of ways.
February 13, 2012
Got this interlibrary loan after it appeared in my alumni magazine. this was a great and fascinating read. And if being a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints wasn't enough to persuade me to be a virgin until I got married this book would have. I want BElla to read it as a teenager, although when I mentioned this to her, she balked.
Basically although it was a study to just examine the social norms and changes that are taking place in the meeting, mating, and marrying of Americans it was a persuasive enough arguement about all the psychological factors I'd rather avoid. Higher rates of depression with earlier sex, higher number of partners, etc... REally a great read if you like non-fiction.
Basically although it was a study to just examine the social norms and changes that are taking place in the meeting, mating, and marrying of Americans it was a persuasive enough arguement about all the psychological factors I'd rather avoid. Higher rates of depression with earlier sex, higher number of partners, etc... REally a great read if you like non-fiction.
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August 22, 2011N A COLLEGE CAMPUS STUDY in 1989, physically attractive people approached opposite-sex students and asked, “Would you go to bed with me tonight?” Not a single woman said yes, but seventy-five percent of men accepted the invitation. This gender disparity forms the basis of the theory of “sexual economics,” which starts from the familiar premise that most guys want sex to be as easy as possible. Women generally want something else to be provided first, often along the lines of commitment, affection, security, love (perhaps you have heard this list before). Read more...
June 30, 2011
This is statistically heavy and could have used more anecdotes and analysis, less dry data. There are too many verbatim block quotes that aren't too interesting. Finally, three-fourths of the way through, comes some salient insights. The conclusion shows the disconnect that the overwhelming majority of twentysomethings have between their sexual behavior with multiple partners and expected desire of someday settling down in a monogamous marriage.
July 11, 2011
Excellent book. Combines quantitative (surveys/census) and qualitative (interviews) analysis to provide the most comprehensive look yet at premarital sex in America among 18-27 year olds.
It does a lot to dispel the "hookup" culture illustrated in "Unhooked" and, while being clear that there's lots of sex going on, it's not as bad as the press leads us to believe.
It does a lot to dispel the "hookup" culture illustrated in "Unhooked" and, while being clear that there's lots of sex going on, it's not as bad as the press leads us to believe.
July 29, 2011
Starts from the premise, never convincingly argued (to me) that marriage is the awesomest... and proceeds with thinking about reasons why pre-marital sex may be undermining it. Some pretty interesting elements, and a lot of good quant and qual data-- but undermined by the strength of the prejudice in favor of marriage, and against everything else, that persists throughout.
September 18, 2011
Just coming off of the song of Solomon I was trying to finish about 17 books. This was one that sat for a very long time and I am a little bummed I didn't read it before. Lot's of interesting interviews and data.
Makes you also feel very sad with how our culture is raising people up to view sexuality today.
Makes you also feel very sad with how our culture is raising people up to view sexuality today.
April 16, 2012
This sociological study of emerging adults' views and practices of sexuality (focus on heterosexuality) is illuminating, sobering and encouraging all at the same time. It is nuanced and careful in its conclusions. Most importantly, it strips away the false impressions people have that come through the various channels that help to shape popular culture.
October 25, 2015
Great research. I especially enjoyed reading their findings relative to Reds (conservatives) and Blues (liberals). Reds are still sexually active but with an eye toward marriage. Blues are more content to put off marriage for a later date. Interesting stuff. Eye-opening at times for a prude like me.
November 1, 2012
This is a raw, but realistic study of the relationships and behaviors of what the author calls "emerging adults" in America. If you work with or know those in this 18-23 year old age group,whether in college or not, it would definitely be worth taking a look at this.
January 29, 2016
Good, readable analysis. He doesn't shy away from some of the more controversial implications of the data such as gender differences in sexuality.
November 19, 2015
Read this for Sociology. Interesting, but these kinds of research books just aren't really my thing. Definitely gleaned a lot from it, though.
January 29, 2019
Read this book if you want to hear more opinions on sexuality from straight, white, middle age, Christian men who have questionable data.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews