If you’ve ever aspired to be the neighborhood freak, this book is for you. It’s full of stuff that makes me want to live in a van down by the river, a river which is downstream from a US military base, or better yet, somewhere I can see the Soviets from my backyard. Which, I can actually see right now thanks to this book! So I guess I can park my van somewhere else now.
First of all, STARGATE is a late-1990’s series on Showtime that my dad watches before my mom gets home. STARGATE is NOT a military program in the US that ran through the 1970’s-1995 that investigated psychic phenomena, specially “remote viewing” for spying purposes. It did NOT stem from fear of Cold War Soviet psych research. And, while we’re all lying, this is NOT the weirdest book I’ve EVER read. WINK. I guess the retired military space men were missing their third-grade taekwondo competitions, because the weird man remotely viewing my bedroom right now told me that he is a Great Master Black Belt. Whatever. I’m not going to “remotely view” your pants to find out. I’m throwing your aluminum head ware in the garbage. Stop bringing that stuff in the house. I’m tired of it. And stop bringing people who you call your friends over, because they keep trying to “remotely view” me when I’m asleep. Anyway, the book is full of physics I don’t understand because I dropped it to be in Computer Science. Joseph, in the tin hat that I’m currently viewing remotely, explains practical guidelines with examples and exercises to practice. I don’t know about you, but I’m not trying to remotely view anyone while they exercise. Well, that’s my own “viewing” exercise. I don’t care how many belts you have, this is all fake. I can’t believe Mr. McDingle got money to research lies. Oh, uh, yeah, I can see the Russians, they’re like, right there!! No, yeah, I can DEFINITELY see them…when do I get paid for this again? Tomorrow? Ok, and like, how much? I’m going to remotely view the brain of whoever thought this was a good idea to monetarily fund.