If I Don't Know

by Wendy Cope

The comic brilliance and formal skills which propelled Making Cocoa for Kingsley Amis and Serious Concerns into the bestseller lists are much in evidence here. But a softer, lyrical voice, also present in the earlier books, is given more room to develop in poems about gardens and contentment and the poignancy of having something to lose. If I Don't Know ends with a longer poem, a moving narrative called 'The Teacher's Tale'. Fireworks Poems (from If I Don't Know) I Faster and faster, They vanish into Our years together. II Write it in fire across the Some men are more or less all right.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction, Literature

76 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Wendy Cope was educated at Farringtons School, Chislehurst, London and then, after finishing university at St Hilda's College, Oxford, she worked for 15 years as a primary school teacher in London.

In 1981, she became Arts and Reviews editor for the Inner London Education Authority magazine, 'Contact'. Five years later she became a freelance writer and was a television critic for 'The Spectator magazine' until 1990.

Her first published work 'Across the City' was in a limited edition, published by the Priapus Press in 1980 and her first commercial book of poetry was 'Making Cocoa for Kingsley Amis' in 1986. Since then she has published two further books of poetry and has edited various anthologies of comic verse.

In 1987 she received a Cholmondeley Award for poetry and in 1995 the American Academy of Arts and Letters Michael Braude Award for light verse. In 2007 she was one of the judges for the Man Booker Prize.

In 1998 she was the BBC Radio 4 listeners' choice to succeed Ted Hughes as Poet Laureate and when Andrew Motion's term of office ended in 2009 she was once again considered as a replacement.

She was awarded the OBE in the Queen's 2010 Birthday Honours List.

Gerry Wolstenholme
February 2011

Reviews

[tee · Rating 4 out of 5]

what a lovely collection oh my god!!! (not the best but) better than my previous wendy cope, anecdotal evidence, and also specifically JUST what my mind needed at the moment—very charming, very human. i want to live inside the poems she creates, the way god intended :-)

“if you ask me ‘what’s new?’, i have nothing to say
except that the garden is growing.
i had a slight cold but it’s better today.
i’m content with the way things are going.
yes, he is the same as he usually is,
still eating and sleeping and snoring.
i get on with my work. he gets on with his.
i know this is all very boring.”

especially loved (+a couple new favorites!)—by the round pond, if i don’t know, idyll, being boring, fireworks poems, on a train, a word before sleep, he tells her, elegy for the northern wey, tulips.

[Mark Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another ace poetry collection on the complexities of life, of the ordinary, of love, loss, youth, heartbreak, work, identity, and beauty. Never read anything less than brilliant by Wendy Cope.

[Maurice · Rating 2 out of 5]

Slight, often twee, but worth it for lines like "Hope is a long leash, drawn in slowly"...

[laure · Rating 2 out of 5]

i'm still trying to find out what i like in and about poetry so when i came across this poetry collection in my school's library, i decided to give it a try. i'd heard amazing things about wendy cope and, to be fully honest, i may not have chosen the right book. oh well!
her writing style - short, concisely beautiful - did not fully resonate with me. i think i was unitentionally comparing it to sylvia plath's (which..... why??). overall, the poems themselves were sort of a hit or miss: i either adored them or was left unsatisfied. i don't really know how to express that - something felt off.
this also made me question my sense of humour. i did not laugh once. maybe i'm broken?? (what the hell was that haiku on page 7 about-)
i loved that 'the teacher's tale' was such a huge part of it though. it made the collection memorable as a whole.
other notable poems were:
* tulips
* the squirrel and the crow
* the greek island triolets
* fireworks poems (i don't know why i liked them. they were efficient, ig?)

[Xenia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much better (mostly)

[Chelsea Duncan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mixed bag of poetry, Cope has some lovely powerful lines and some strong poems in this collection on a range of subjects. She injects a good dose of humour into a few of her poems which is also refreshing. I couldn't give more than three stars however as quite a few of the poems didn't resonate with me, they were either too short and glib, or, like the last story/poem, far too long and dull. A lot of the poems seemed to be dedicated to certain people too, which felt a bit alienating as a reader.
It's a good read but it's not phenomenal in my personal opinion.

[Kyo · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some good poems and beautiful lines, but on the whole I was slightly disappointed. Some of the poems seemed like easy cop-outs or just very juvenile ones. I loved one of her other collections, which might have set the bar a little too high for this one. Towards the end, however, I did start liking the poems a bit more. I would not necessarily recommend this collection if you haven't read any Cope before (then I'd rather suggest "Two Cures for Love", which is the collection I loved), but this collection is still worth a read if you're interested!

[Ags · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really enjoyed the first part! especially the pig poems. Very entertaining, and both fun and thoughtful at the same time, even if it did feel a bit disjointed as a collection overall. The second part is one long poem that dragged on, in which the mother hate was just a bit too much/mother character too flat while blaming the mother for the father's parenting. Please, somebody help Wendy Cope process her feelings and thoughts towards mothers!

Might have been 4 stars without the second part!

[Laura Mustard · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Asked to imagine heaven, I see us there, The way we have been, the way we sometimes are."

Wendy Cope's poetry is always a breath of fresh air. They were all lovely, but a good portion didn't really resonate with me. Three stars for that reason.

[Laura Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

ADORED. Fell right back in love with poetry again after a fallow period. Very witty, very poignant. And “The Teacher’s Tale”? Just wow 😢

[kooky · Rating 2 out of 5]

“I’ve just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.”

[Joy]

i’d read it just for ‘The Teacher’s Tale’

[Eloise · Rating 5 out of 5]

'The Teacher's Tale' made me sob. No I will not be over it ever, thanks though.

[Hana · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit disappointed as it didn't meet my expectations..

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of my friends passed this to me in a bid to introduce me to the joys of poetry, assuring me that it was eminently easy to grasp. I must say I rather enjoyed this initial foray away from the world of prose and into that of poetry. I found it hard to tear myself away from "A Teacher's Tale", a moving and compelling narrative of a young boy, Paul's, attempt to find his own identity and assert himself against his strict, controlling mother. Some of the musings on relationships were beautiful - Being Boring provided a contrast to Idyll. "Haiku: Looking Out of the Back Bedroom Window without My Glasses" was hilarious, as was the Stickleback Song, on the stresses of being a teacher and "The Squirrel and the Crow", on the poet's search for inspiration and the strange turn it takes.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another collection from Wendy Cope that demonstrates that there’s a place for humour in serious poetry. As ever, her work is direct, written in plain English and showcases her mastery of poetic form; If I Don’t Know features sonnets, villanelles, haiku and epic couplets among others. Relations between men and women remains a key theme of her writing and she has lost nothing of her wit in describing the follies of both. But there are also poems of sudden piercing beauty and sadness like her tribute to John Clare. The last third of the book is taken up by a long poem, The Teacher’s Tale which paints a picture of a sad child, suffocated by restrictive parenting but given a lifeline by a perceptive teacher. It’s extremely readable and moving.

[Ryan Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I don't know how to be thankful enough
for the clusters of white blossom

on our mock orange, which has grown tall
and graceful, come into its own

like a new star just out of ballet school,
and if I don't know what to do

about those spires of sky-blue delphinium,
then what about the way they look together?

And what about the roses, or just one of them —
that solid pinky-peachy bloom

that hollows towards its heart? Outrageous.
I could crush it to bits.

A photograph? A dance to summer?
I sit on the swing and cry.

The rose. The gardenful. The evening light.
It's nine o'clock and I can still see everything.

Ugh.

I don’t want to ruin this with commentary but I did also want to reflect on my balcony garden, particularly the coincidental reference to mock orange.

My mock orange seems to be going well, even growing. If it can get to spring and bloom flowers I would be overjoyed.

The gardenias are gone though. The silver falls I can’t tell right now. The bay tree is still going strong but took noticeable sun damage. The new palm burned.

I came to realise how harsh my balcony environment is. I learned that placing and watering them next to glass panels exposed to full sun leads to heat stress and spot burns.

So I’ve moved them all to the shaded sides to protect them. I won’t replace them as I am exhausted.

It has been an expensive and at times heartbreaking experiment. The feeling of things dying around you because you are learning is honestly quite painful.

I think if I had more money it would be so easy to just keep going and this is what adds to the pain. Life doesn’t afford constant experiments.

It would otherwise be so fun to try natives or grasses or get professional advice or even admit that a balcony is better suited to beautiful but inert objects like decor and art and soft furnishings and lighting.

Anyway, it’s beautiful and I can appreciate it. I can admit defeat and go again when I’m ready. Life wasn’t meant to be easy, but it can be delightful.

*

We'll be in our garden on a summer evening,
Eating pasta, drinking white wine.

We won't talk all the time. I'll sit back,
Contemplating shadows on the red-brick path,

And marvel at the way it all turned out.
That yellow begonia. Our gabled house.

Later we'll stroll through Kingsgate Park.
My leg won't hurt, and we'll go home the long way.

Asked to imagine heaven, I see us there,
The way we have been, the way we sometimes are.

Gorgeous.

*

If you ask me 'What's new?', I have nothing to say
Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold but it's better today.
I'm content with the way things are going.
Yes, he is the same as he usually is,
Still eating and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring.

[…]

I don't go to parties. Well, what are they for,
If you don't need to find a new lover?
You drink and you listen and drink a bit more
And you take the next day to recover.
Someone to stay home with was all my desire
And, now that I've found a safe mooring,
I've just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.

🙂

*

Late home for supper,
He mustn't seem drunk.
'The pob cluck', he begins,
And knows he is sunk.

lol

*

The book I've been reading
rests on my knee. You sleep.

It's beautiful out there —
fields, little lakes and winter trees
in February sunlight,
every car park a shining mosaic.

Long, radiant minutes,
your hand in my hand,
still warm, still warm.

❤️

*

Watch the ball and do your thing.
This is the moment. Here's your chance.
Don't let anybody mess with your swing.

It's time to shine. You're in the ring.
Step forward, adopt a winning stance,
Watch the ball and do your thing,

And while that ball is taking wing,
Run, without a backward glance.
Don't let anybody mess with your swing.

Don't let envious bastards bring
You down. Ignore the sneers, the can'ts.
Watch the ball and do your thing.

Sing out, if you want to sing.
Jump up, when you long to dance.
Don't let anybody mess with your swing.

Enjoy your talents. Have your fling.
The seasons change. The years advance.
Watch the ball and do your thing,
And don't let anybody mess with your swing.

[Luce · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't explain the comfort Wendy Cope's poetry brings me, and the joy I feel at having found a poet that I actively desire to read. Her poetry feels profound and touches the hidden corners of life without any barriers to understanding and finding humour in those experiences she paints. My favourites (of the shorter poems) from this collection are: By the Round Pond, If I Don't Know, Song, On a Train, Postcards, An Ending, and Tulips. But the longer poem, The Teacher's Tale, was extraordinarily heartbreaking - Cope painfully traces a child's journey through school, as he struggles with oppressive and emotionally negligent parents. Wendy Cope is a gem and I believe that there is a poem of hers for everyone, whether they are an avid consumer of poetry or otherwise terrified by the impenetrability of the poetry presented in school. I love her !

[Joel Duncan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was bought this collection for Christmas, signed by the author, as I'd really enjoyed 'Two cures for love,' her best poems over the years. Unfortunately, because I'd read her best, this collection was a little underwhelming. Cope at her best writes funny poetry with a profound undercurrent, but at her worst, she's a Pam Ayres knockoff. This felt like a mashup of both, but leaning toward the latter.

It's keepable, for the signature and because it was a lovely thoughtful present. However, it is not something I can imagine I'll dip into in the future, like I do with other collections.

[SB · Rating 5 out of 5]

i picked this book up from the library shelf because i loved the cover so much. i am still so glad that i have done that because i loved the book so much.

this little book of poetry is funny, charming, and delicate. reading the poems felt like a beautiful woman was running her fingers through my hair. the poems are beautifully thought. they are not sympathetic, but mainly empathetic. this is postmodern poetry at its best. and, i loved it, loved it, loved it.

[Katie Cat Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poetry. Life. England.

A collection of poem set in England during the past few decades ranking from the serious and ponderous to the amusing and funny.

I found Wendy cope in one of those poetry anthologies featuring a poem every day. Based on that I found this book and I'm overall pleased. Some I enjoyed, some packed more of a punch than others. I'd be happy to read more and newer poetry from her. There's a poem at the end every teacher and teenager should read.

[adeline · Rating 3 out of 5]

even though i prefer serious concerns to if i don't know, wendy cope wrote beautiful poems in this collection. especially the last one, a teacher's tale. it is a long poem, but the emotions i went through while reading this moving narrative makes it now one of my favorite poems.

other ones i liked:
by the round pond,
being boring,
an ending,
the sorrow of socks,
elegy for the northern wey,
tulips

[Michaela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this collection of poems topped off beautifully with the long poem “The Teachers Tale” which is a really clever title and was a compelling story in a poem. I love Wendy Copes poetry because it is funny and accessible, but nevertheless witty and clever and it makes me think. I think you always learn more when you are laughing. “The Sorrow of Socks” is genius :-D

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

ending the year with some poetry 🫶🏻

i’ve read pretty much all of the poems in this anthology before - but i rarely read a poetry book end to end so it doesn’t get marked on here. but this anthology ends with a long form poem that i’ve never read before, so to round off the year i thought i’d read this cover to cover.

bottom line: i love wendy cope

[Sophie (RedheadReading) · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Idyll and Being Boring were one after the other I thought to myself "surely this must be a five star collection?" The rest didn't wholly live up to that inner height as sometimes it fell a bit too into twee for me, but I love Cope's gentle humour, simple grace of her poems and I'm looking forward to exploring more.

[Ella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Logging now but read it a bit before re starting this account!
I loooovedddd this, loved seeing some more serious poems compared to some I’ve read. The poems specifically with at had themes of nature were just excellent- she could put me right in the scene and it felt I was actually there tasting the air. Loved it!!

[El · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the faber faber poetry collection they feel so great and when I got this book for £1.60 I was in love with it before even reading it. The poems were in the most part light and happy and rhymed which I love that part of poetry. A very good poetry collection.

[Jill Hudson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I said about 'Serious Concerns', Wendy Cope is a proper poet. Her poetry scans, rhymes, moves and challenges. What's not to like? This volume also includes a sort-of epic poem about an under-achieving pupil. You can certainly tell that Wendy's been a teacher as well as a poet.

[Catullus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely collection of comic and tragic poetry. Loved ‘The Teachers Tale’ - a very amusing but ultimately dark story of a mother’s over-bearing, repressive treatment of her son and the effect it has on the boy. I loved the poem about pigs too, and the reflections of a single sock.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favourite of Cope's collections. Heartwarming, with every section telling a new tale. Highly recommended no matter how much poetry you've read. Wendy Cope is amazing at making the simple things in life romanticised.