Red Lobster, White Trash, & the Blue Lagoon: Joe Queenan's America

by Joe Queenan

For fourteen years, critic Joe Queenan walked past the Winter Garden Theater in New York City without once even dreaming of venturing inside to see Cats . One fateful afternoon in March 1996, however, having grown weary of his hopelessly elitist lifestyle, he decided to buy a half-price ticket and check out Andrew Lloyd Webber's record-breaking juggernaut. No, he did not expect the musical to be any good, but surely there were limits to how bad it could be.

Here, Queenan was tragically mistaken. Cats , what Grease would look like if all the cast members were dressed up like KISS, was infinitely more idiotic than he had ever imagined. Yet now the Rubicon had been crossed. Queenan had involuntarily launched himself on a harrowing personal an 18-month descent into the abyss of American popular culture.

At first, Queenan found things to be every bit as atrocious as he expected. John Tesh defiling the temple of Carnegie Hall reminded him of Adolf Hitler goose-stepping in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower. The Celestine Prophecy and The Horse Whisperer proved to be prodigiously cretinous. And the sight of senior citizens forking over their hard-earned nickels and dimes to watch Joe Pesci in Gone Fishin' so moved Queenan that he began standing outside the theater issuing refunds to exiting patrons.

But then something strange happened. Queenan started enjoying Barry Manilow concerts. He went to see Julie Andrews and Liza Minnelli and Raquel Welch in Victor/Victoria . He said nice things about Larry King and Charles Grodin in his weekly TV Guide column. He spent hours planted in front of the television, transfixed by special, two-hour episodes of Texas Ranger . He actually ordered the dreaded zuppa toscana at the Olive Garden. Most frightening of all, he shook hands with Geraldo Rivera.

How Queenan finally escaped from the cultural Hot Zone and returned to civilization is an epic tale as heart-warming, awe-inspiring, and life-affirming as Robinson Crusoe , The Adventures of Marco Polo , Gulliver's Travels , and Swiss Family Robinson . Well, almost.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Essays, Travel, Sociology, Pop Culture, Comedy

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Joe Queenan is a humorist, critic and author from Philadelphia who graduated from Saint Joseph's University. He has written for numerous publications, such as Spy Magazine, TV Guide, Movieline, The Guardian and the New York Times Book Review. He has written eight books, including Balsamic Dreams, a scathing critique of the Baby Boomers, Red Lobster, White Trash, and the Blue Lagoon, a tour of low-brow American pop culture and Imperial Caddy, a fairly scathing view of Dan Quayle and the American Vice-Presidency.

Queenan's work is noted for his caustic wit.

Reviews

[Diana · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's no point to this book. Queenan decides to step down from his elitist throne to check out the little people's world of bad movies and fast food, and manages to bitch the entire time about it. I happen to agree with most of his commentary on terrible movies and horrible popular music, but come ON already! Every page was just a bitch-and-moan rant, and yet he continued to immerse himself more and more into what he's bitching and moaning about. He had an air of doing the incredible - taking on some martyr task for the greater good - but there was nothing really to discover except his own opinions on everything he knew he'd hate. The whole book was just flat annoying.

[Jan C · Rating 1 out of 5]

I may have misclassified this. Just from the title I thought it was humor. I had about 3 laughs in this book. I guess he decided he was too snooty and wanted to indulge in some of the "lower" forms of entertainment, reading and dining. Oh, let's face it, some of them were lower. I would never see CATS (or probably any other Andrew Lloyd Webber product), won't go to Red Lobster again - more because I have gout than anything against RL, and I have never seen The Blue Lagoon. I will also probably never go to Branson, Mo., although I have passed the exit sign on the highway.

First laugh for me was the image of Raquel Welch in Victor/Victoria; although, in all fairness, I am probably imagining the RW of the '70s rather than the mid-'90s when the author made his descent into Hell. He had already seen both Julie Andrews and Liza Minnelli in the role and they received their standing ovations. Apparently JQ was the only one to stand for RW.

Not sure if my second laugh was related to the RW production of V/V or something else (must of it blurred together after a while) but he was comparing something to seeing your mother vamp on top of the piano.

There must have been a third laugh - possibly when he got jolted back to reality when he was almost hit by a truck when he was hustling himself across a highway, juggling Andy Williams and Bobby Vinton shows in mid-afternoon in Branson.

Atlantic City was as bad as he thought it would be but Las Vegas was not. I've been to Vegas but not Atlantic City or any other place with casinos, come to that.

Joe's problem was that he cut out all decent forms of entertainment to wallow in dreck. No wonder he thought he was ill. Finally jolted out of it by a re-viewing of CATS.

Oh, no! This book started with three stars when I finished it, which slid into two when I started writing this review. I'm sorry I can't give this any better than one. It was horrid.

I didn't think some of the things he named were that bad, but others definitely are. Now, many people like a lot of these entertainments. They must! Or they wouldn't still be going. Although I do appreciate his reading the entire Robert Waller output so he could tell me that it was as bad (or worse) as I thought it would be.

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Referring to Emerson, Lake and Palmer as "krapperdammerung" was enough to make me laugh so hard I cried. Much of this book is that funny. It might be a bit dated because I read it a few years ago, but I can remember few books like this where I actually had to put it down until I stopped laughing.

[Alan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unlike uranium, bile can be concentrated without limit. Which is a good thing. Incontrovertible evidence of this theory exists, in the form of Joe Queenan's Red Lobster White Trash and the Blue Lagoon, a book which would otherwise have to be separated into its component chapters and stored in individual lead-lined containers.

I ran across this book while Back East in Philadelphia, the city Queenan's from, at the (now defunct) Molly's Café & Bookstore in the Italian Market section, which added a bit of piquancy to my reading of it. However, I think its savaging of, well, just about everything the lumpenproletariat adores would be entertaining to just about anyone who's ever wondered just what it is people like about—for example—John Tesh.

From p. 75 of the trade paperback, a page I'd opened to at random but which hooked me immediately:

One day, while trawling for twaddle, I stumbled upon an unexpectedly rich source of middlebrow hokum: those infuriating PBS fund-raisers, where a cabal of bespectacled dweebs try to convince you that the only thing that stands between Newt Gingrich and the eclipse of Western civilization as we know it is your viewer dollars. Then they return to the extraordinary fare that can only be found on public television: Patti LuPone warbling a few selections from Evita; Peter, Paul & Mary reliving that march on Selma; a bracing evening of Celtic hopscotch with Lord of the Lap Dance's Michael Flatley dolled up in that puffy shirt from "Seinfeld."

Yet it was through PBS that I was exposed to the seminal bad musical experience of my entire self-immersion in America's cultural hot zone. That was the night I watched "John Tesh: The Avalon Concert."

Now, I actually like PBS... but I can understand where Joe's coming from here. Despite the fact that John Tesh's musical success has saved us from a much worse alternative universe, I think Queenan's cautionary tale is one which bears careful reading. He'll gore your oxen, I'm sure... but he'll do it well.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poor Joe Queenan. He was born into a world that falls far short of deserving him, so he engages in mostly unfunny snark against just about everything in it. Do not expect to be enlighened about why anything is bad; just take his word that it is.

[Phrodrick slowed his growing backlog · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bottom Line: Having set for himself the task of spending a year immersed in everything he hates. Joe Queenan decides that he hates all the things he hates. His humor is heavy, cynical, over the top and mostly unfunny. Not only is the concept of an “off” button beyond his comprehension, he has zero time to make a case for liking anything, including what he likes. If you think that saying ugly things in the most extremely ugly manner is a sign of honesty Joe is your man. If you admire deftness and light touch he is an abusive waste of your time.


Many years ago I heard what I now know to be Sturgeon's law. Phrased as the way I heard it: 80% of everything is crap. Technically he specified 90% but I can be easy. Mathematically the point is that the first 50% to 60 percent is an outright failure and the next 20 are varying degree of almost good enough. Once I learned the notion, I became much tolerant of mass market and franchise food and Andrew Lloyd Weber. Tolerant does not mean I have changed my opinion or started to spend money in Olive Garden, it only means am relatively more accepting that there is no accounting for taste.

Note to Joe Queenan: at least 80% of everything is crap.

Sorry for the spoiler but that is his 200 pages and you get to keep your money.

Ok he has add all manner of snootiness for what we now call “fly over America” and just wait there is more: He is a vicious, snarling degrading lout.

If you have to read the book, like for an assignment, you might want a drinking game, say down one for every reference to Nazi Germany. Except that just on page 53 he lists 5 of them. Keeping in mind he evoke Nazis as if they were buying adspace in his book , 5 drinks in 5 lines is gonna knock out even a hardy student. By about chapter 5, Queenan gets bored with comparing every failed cultural entity with the worst of WWII. Queenan fails to understand that actual Extermination Camps were unavoidable horror and everything he hates is avoidable.

It is not that I like Yanni, or Red Lobster (That it survives in places like New Orleans is proof that good advertising makes money the product cannot). Cats for me was a huge fail until I got The Joke. And then I still did not like it, The Joke is intentionally on us. He may be correct that having John Tesh in Carnegie Hall is a case of allowing the Barbarian past the gates. He may be right, but I have the ability avoid knowing or caring who Tesh might be.

What I dislike about Queenan is his belief that sledgehammering everything is somehow proof of a sense of humor. Going after mediocrity as if it is a violent evil is an interesting notion, but after about 20 pages everything blurs under a barrage of ugliness. There is no deft application of humor no lightness of heart, jut gradations of storm and thunder. By midway he shifts to scoring the degree of how hateful something is. It is as if he is bragging about his discernment of color is anything more than any normal person’s eyesight.

Lastly, I have no desire to go to the shows in Branson Missouri. But I bear no ill will for those who do. There are all manner of ‘adult’ fast food joints I ignore, but I get that they have their customers. Queenan would have you believe that the mere existence of elevator music is proof that civilization is in collapse and the people who like what he does not are working aggressively to bring that about. He is fanatically angry about the ability of whatever it is he does not like to be a direct threat to all the rest of “us” hold dear.

I speculate that the success of the likes of Queenan, Limbaugh, shock jocks radio and the rest of the popular broadcast of extremist exaggeration has help to deform political debate. Some voters have been trained up in the belief that only the most extreme statements of dissatisfaction have credibility. Expressing a simple dislike is too polite and too simple to be trusted. A speaker who indicates that something may have been better stated is ignored as too uncertain. A person who states their opinion with the most violent of languages cannot possibly be bluffing or withholding the truth, or can they? Ugly also has the ability to tear down a society, but not just because it sounds like Yanni.

[Sheila · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh! This book is a never-ending litany of the many ways Mr. Queenan abhors mainstream culture. It gets old after the first chapter. I continued reading because I thought Mr. Queenan would elaborate on the reason for his antipathy for Cats, Billy Joel, self-help books, and Branson, but he never did. Mr. Queenan has some humorous observations, I'll grant him that, but when I finished, I felt like I had listened to an overlong bitch session. Really, Mr. Queenan. If you're going to trash everything "common," could you at least tell us why the stuff YOU love is superior?

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mildly amusing. I didn't mind that the plays, books, etc that Queenan was writing about are a bit dated right now. I remember all that stuff so it was relevant to me. Also, it was sobering to realize that some of the stuff you indulged in back-in-the-day really WAS lousy. I am especially feeling that way about Broadway musicals right now. Most of them really are tedious and ridiculous, aren't they?

But the reason Joe only gets two stars here (although he is a funny, intelligent guy) is because the whole theme/set-up/premise was lame-o. All that "I'm so addicted to the bad" stuff he goes on about just to carry his story through. Frankly, it was weak.

[Susan Liston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update 4/19 I was actually looking for another book and found this and ended up rereading it. Did I just reread it year before last? I see I did. It's a classic. Even though it is 20 years old, he does mention that you can't get rid of mediocrity, it just replaces itself, so it's easy to think of what he could have been referring to if it were updated today. And some of the awful authors he mentions are still cranking them out....

This book is beginning to be a bit dated, but is still wonderfully snarky.

[MentorPublicLibrary]

Joe Queenan, critic, author, and admitted snob, sets out to experience for himself the worst cultural events, books, movies, music and restaurants. His biting satire and cynicism had me laughing tears. It's a quick read, and if you like his style, you will love his jabs at John tesh, the musical Cats, and Branson, Missouri, to name a few. Some have found this book to be tiring and whining, but if it's your type of humor, you will enjoy every page of it.

[Doug · Rating 1 out of 5]

Had potential but this book isn't much of a book at all: just a series of easy jokes dragged out and repeated. (Queenan never says something once when he can say it four or five times in slight variations.) His references and targets are now dated, his approach is smug and condescending, and he never really gets to the heart of why anything he trashes is actually bad: he just comes up with a dozen more synonyms for the word dumb. Weak stuff.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

I understand that Joe Queenan is not to everyone's taste, but I really enjoy him. In this book, Queenan subjects himself to popular culture (he proudly calls himself a snob), looking for the worst he can find. And he's often disappointed. Things aren't quite as awful as he expects, though he does manage to find some truly awful things. Snarky but very entertaining (especially to a fellow snob).

[John Roberson · Rating 2 out of 5]

You'll basically just get a list of what Queenan likes and dislikes, along with a few pity compliments to a thing or two in "low culture" and an admission or two of imperfection in "high culture." It's not even funny often enough to make the book worth reading. Perhaps it just left its vitality in its own time.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really funny, very snarky. The guy wants to know why "the public" has such bad taste, so he immerses himself in what he considers "low culture." And he sort of gets sucked into it, until one thing brings him back. Yes, Joe Queenan is a snob, but it's very entertaining.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe Queenan decides to forego a life of intellect, and journey across the vast cultural wasteland of America.
From the innocuously bad: Kenny G., Mel Brooks films, Robert Ludlum novels, and most Broadway musicals. To the truly execrable: John Tesh, Cannonball Run II, self-help books, and "Cats"; no target escapes the poison tipped arrows of Mr. Queenan.
Traveling to Renaissance Fairs, and Atlantic City, he searches for the Holy Grail of inanity and cultural suckiness, eventually finding himself in "the Hades of the Ozarks", Branson, Missouri.

Even when he goes after authors that I have enjoyed, or music that I have some fondness for (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures!), I could see the point he was making. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person who doesn't understand the phenomenon of "KISS" or "Grease", or how anyone could have possibly liked any number of TV shows that he names: Starsky and Hutch, Baywatch, etc... And I truly believe that the increase in the popularity of Country music is in direct proportion to the declining intelligence of the American public.
Since this was published in 1998, he doesn't have a chance to talk about social media or the cult of celebrities that have the depth of a birdbath that dominate the lives of so many, but I can imagine Mr. Queenan's views on the subject.
Hilarious stuff! We may be drowning in a sea of ignorance, but hopefully there will always be people like Joe Queenan to throw us a life jacket.

[Gingeraltoids · Rating 4 out of 5]

A coworker loaned this to me, and I was enthused by the fact that Queenan is from my adopted hometown, Philly.
This tour through the schmaltzy, kitschy, worst of American non-culture didn't disappoint, with ample doses of sardonic humor, snarkiness and surprising earnestness. I learned the hilarious word "scheissenbedauern" from this book, meaning "the feeling of regret one experiences when things you expect to suck do suck, but do not suck as much as you would secretly like them to suck."
I have to admit that I was a little put-off when I first started reading this book, as I hadn't read anything else by Queenan and didn't quite get his style. After pressing on for a chapter or two, I got it, and then it became addictive (much like his addiction to suckiness) and consistently entertaining. The nice thing about this book is that you can put it down and pick it back up repeatedly, and never have trouble getting back into it.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read Joe Queenan’s One for the Books a few months ago and really liked it, so I put a few of his other books on my to-read list. Red Lobster is the story of a few months in the late 1990s when the author put aside his good taste in books, movies, theater, and music, and dove headfirst into popular culture. He traveled to Las Vegas and Branson, Missouri. He went to see Cats, Grease, and Victor/Victoria (several times, with different women in the title role). He read Stephen King, listened to Billy Joel, and ate at Red Lobster. And he wrote these essays. Here is where Queenan’s well-known snarkiness comes shining through, and honestly, it kind of got to me after a couple of chapters. Maybe I’m just too much of an optimist and a merry-sunshine type to appreciate his kind of humor.

[Staustin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe Queenan is a mad genius and this book exemplifies his brilliant and dark wit when it comes to cultural reading. Mike Hammond had introduced me to Joe Queenan in 2002 and I just recently picked up the book. I can honestly say I laughed at something on each page as Mr. Queenan peppers the mass cultural offerings of 1997 with his barbs of brilliant insight, satire, and cynicism. If you are interested in culture, looking for a quick read and wanting to laugh - pick this book up. Oh, and if you are really young you may not catch all of the context that Queenan effortlessly operates in.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

All in all, a great book ... that is, if you like vicious satire and sarcasm. Sign me up! Queenan takes on all the vestiges of "low culture" in America, such as Olive Garden, Kenny G, John Tesh, Geraldo Rivera, and the musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber, and really enters the Heart of Darkness by experiencing all of it, and reporting back to the readers. I suppose if you're really into those things, you won't get the joke, but if you do tend to be a bit of an elitist, you'll find this book hysterically funny.

[Carol Jean · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. The author does have a way with an acerbic phrase, but I just can't put my finger on his actual esthetic or why he has made the judgements he has. And dude, if you want to impress me with your cultural awareness, DO NOT LIST ISHTAR AS ONE OF THE CLASSIC UNWATCHABLE MOVIES. Although it has a bad rep because of production delays and cost overruns, if you have actually seen it, you know that it is one of the great American films and a comic classic. My copy rests beside my television for frequent re-viewing.

[Tommy · Rating 4 out of 5]

One man's very funny journey through the pop culture morass. Queenan takes us through the wasteland of Red Lobster, Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals, Billy Joel concerts, mediocre movies, and the like.

It's a cynical, fun ride through middle-America's taste for mediocrity. (That sounded snobbish, didn't it? I confess to having attended quite a few Billy Joel concerts in my life, and we've been to Red Lobster more than once - there...that's better. I'm a resident of Podunk too...)

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Witty book. However, the movies he speaks of (none of which I've seen), and books (none of which I've read, music (I only disagreed on Phil Collins), makes me think maybe I'm a snob - because I wouldn't even consider wasting my time on such drivel. I was happy to hear that at least one other person in the world thinks Adam Sandler is good in no doses. And it truly cured me of any need to see Branson!

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the stories were a little dated, but I still found it enjoyable. I found myself laughing along at the rubes until he attacked something I liked, & then I laughed more. I did get some juicy bad book leads that I may try, although I'm afraid his synopsis of them is prolly more funny than reality. (Joan Collins, VC Andrews, & a few more howlers)

[M Rothenbuhler · Rating 2 out of 5]

Joe Queenan's satire is too anti-American in general for my taste. It comes across more as hating, rather than loyal jokes. I read the whole thing because I enjoyed the trip down memory lane and recognized most cultural references. While not everything needs to be celebrated, the level of vitriol is too high.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

A pretty cool and (in my experience) social commentator. He’s a little overly whiny in this one, but still sharp and funny. AND, he has his head on straight on a lot of issues where the rest of the world has lost their minds. For example, he hates Billy Joel. Take that, Klosterman.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Queenan tries out America's most mainstream, banal entertainments: eating at Red Lobster, Cats on Broadway, and etc. After a while he starts to like it, and this horrifies him. He's a weirdo, and a bit of a snob, but it's still hysterical.

[Will · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected this book to be much funnier. Satirical examination of American pop culture. One reviewer called it "Jonathan Swift with a remote control," although that may be giving it too much credit. The author seemed to be trying a bit too hard--a little too much hyperbole, too little wit.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The scathing and insulting criticisms of so many icons of popular culture were incredibly entertaining (especially the treatment of John Tesh), but the silly back-story of Queenan becoming "addicted" to bad pop culture was tiring and annoying.

[Daniel Brixey · Rating 5 out of 5]

OnwE of my favourite books. I have always loved Joe Queenans writing. I don't agree with everything he says, however when he opened up with the line,'Cats is bad. So very, very bad.' I couldn't have agreed more. And I agreed wholeheartedly on his views on Billy Joel. Funny and sarcastic stuff.

[Fishface · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this would be funny, but it's mostly just vitriolic and ugly-natured. Not that what Queenan says in here isn't true. It's just not that funny. I have to say I'm glad I read to the end, though; the index was funnier than the whole rest of the book put together.