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Night of the Avenging Blowfish: A Novel of Covert Operations, Love, and Luncheon Meat
Secret Service agent Doyle Coldiron gets into hot water before you can say, "Just the facts, ma'am." Soon he's swept up in an outrageous flood of events in this cockeyed look at Washington life and at the confusing business of falling in love in the 1990s. "Among the wittiest American novelists writing today."--Joseph Heller, author of Catch-22; "Run, don't walk, to your nearest store for Night Of The Avenging Blowfish."--Milwaukee Journal.
313 pages, Paperback
First published January 5, 1994
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews
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April 16, 2019yknow when you listen to a power-pop song of yesteryear and it has a really killer hook but then you listen to the lyrics and they're like something from a men's rights subreddit? yeah
July 14, 2014
03/22/2005
Such a funny book, and so sad in my memory. Welter writes well of depression. The baseball team, the angry chef, the attempts at helping others, and through it all the unshakable belief that if only she loved him, all would be well.
I knew someone who was very depressed in high school, not that we called it that then. Years later I ran into him, and he'd started therapy and one of the SSRIs and his life was so much better! Except that when I go to spend a little time with him, I realized that way I had read as "depressed" tuned out to be "depressing." That's kind of how I feel about Doyle, except that Welter makes the depression funny as hell.
And now I'm going to wonder how many people view me this way.
Such a funny book, and so sad in my memory. Welter writes well of depression. The baseball team, the angry chef, the attempts at helping others, and through it all the unshakable belief that if only she loved him, all would be well.
I knew someone who was very depressed in high school, not that we called it that then. Years later I ran into him, and he'd started therapy and one of the SSRIs and his life was so much better! Except that when I go to spend a little time with him, I realized that way I had read as "depressed" tuned out to be "depressing." That's kind of how I feel about Doyle, except that Welter makes the depression funny as hell.
And now I'm going to wonder how many people view me this way.
February 6, 2022
Very funny and interesting. If you ever wondered what the Secret Service agents who protect the US President do in actuality- well, this is probably not it. However, it’s a well written book with great characters and Spam! (Not the fake news that you get on the internet, but actual cans of the icky meat spread…) I highly recommend this amusing book!
November 15, 2015
One of my all-time favorite books. I originally read this during my senior year of high school and I fell in love with its quirky and witty style. Much more than that is its underlying sense of sadness and hope, leaning much more towards quiet desperation for human connection and love. Welter explores the sadder side of the lonely heart without ever getting depressing, constantly allowing his characters to lighten the mood with non-stop quips and humor. Since high school, I've read this book twice more, and even as I near thirty, I still find it just as delightful and amazing as my first time through it.
June 27, 2010
It's nice to see Spam finally take a prominent role in literature. But Welter's story is also about a lovesick Secret Service agent. Love and Spam. Not together, though.
The best part of the book is the covert baseball game arranged between the CIA and Secret Service. It's to be played at night. Without lights. And the location is secret. Top secret. Even to the opposing sides.
It's a quick read. Read it for what it is. Some laugh out loud moments and a good way to kill some brain cells without alcohol.
The best part of the book is the covert baseball game arranged between the CIA and Secret Service. It's to be played at night. Without lights. And the location is secret. Top secret. Even to the opposing sides.
It's a quick read. Read it for what it is. Some laugh out loud moments and a good way to kill some brain cells without alcohol.
February 24, 2013
I read this about 10 years ago and really enjoyed it as well as this author's other two novels. All kind of similar in that they are full of quirky characters, witty dialogue, and interesting twists and turns. I can honestly say I laughed out loud at least once very chapter of this book. At the same time it had a few heartrending moments as well. Very cleverly written. I have wondered what happened to John Welter. He seems to have written 3 books then dropped off the face of the earth.
December 25, 2018
There were some funny moments in this book and that was what I was looking for. The subplot about the President and the luncheon meat made me laugh. The banter between the agents and the conversational style of the main character was deadpan and silly. The love subplot was not my favorite, but easy enough to skip over. Reading this made me wonder if I might like a different book by the same author.
July 25, 2016
One of the best books I have ever read. I reread this every couple of years. I still laugh out loud when I read it. And then I get bummed out when it's over and there is no more left. Doyle Coldiron is a wonderfully flawed human. Angsty. Funny as hell. Falling in love is described so tangibly that you can't help but smile for him by the end.
February 3, 2008
One of my favorite books! Super quick read, and funny as all hell. Welter's novels are all great, but this was the first one I read (found it completely by accident while looking for Welsh's books -- the title alone was enough incentive to buy it), so it remains my favorite.
April 26, 2008
Holy moley this book has me laughing out loud! Now that my own little brother is in the field of national security, I can't but hope he has his own secret ball games, not that he would tell me!
January 1, 2022
I was thrilled with this book. It made me laugh so hard my ribs hurt.
January 27, 2012
One of my alltime favorite books. Funny, suspenseful, romantic. I picked it up because of the nutty title and was surprised to find such a good book between the covers.
March 28, 2010
There were some very funny lines in this book - but they just didn't make up for the lack of any real plot.
April 2, 2010
While I enjoyed the light comedy of the book, I got really, terribly tired of the whiny, single-note of the main character. Ultimately, I just wanted to slap him.
April 22, 2013
One of those " laugh hysterically in public while people look at you like you're a nut " kinds of books :)
January 22, 2019
Just as brilliant
As it was 15 years ago.
Where is John Welter??
As it was 15 years ago.
Where is John Welter??
April 10, 2023
this book had a lot of potential to be a scathing satire on American politics and espionage. while there were sections that were just that, overall the story was distracted by the main character’s infatuation with his love interest. it was really annoying as it just wasn’t very relevant to the actual plot, if there even was one
i was hooked by the concept of a "covert" baseball game played between the Secret Service and the CIA. i enjoyed how the book portrayed the Secret Service, CIA, and the President as extremely irreverent and pointless, and there was a lot of witty dialogue and one-liners, but the story was weak. there should have been more focus on the main character’s life as a secret service agent, as those were the parts that were funny and interesting. but the author drowns that out and instead the lovesick main character just bitches the whole book how he wants to marry his married coworker
i gave it 5 starts cuz there were genuinely clever bits sprinkled throughout. it’s pretty funny for a book. i just wanted more out of it
i was hooked by the concept of a "covert" baseball game played between the Secret Service and the CIA. i enjoyed how the book portrayed the Secret Service, CIA, and the President as extremely irreverent and pointless, and there was a lot of witty dialogue and one-liners, but the story was weak. there should have been more focus on the main character’s life as a secret service agent, as those were the parts that were funny and interesting. but the author drowns that out and instead the lovesick main character just bitches the whole book how he wants to marry his married coworker
i gave it 5 starts cuz there were genuinely clever bits sprinkled throughout. it’s pretty funny for a book. i just wanted more out of it
February 16, 2022
On the surface this book is about bored spooks preparing to play an imaginary baseball match and spam. At its centre is a moving and deep exploration of love, loneliness and depression. It touched on how these feelings affect the psyche and links this with what it means to be human - our ability to love one another or be mentally ill. The narrative themes were well interspersed with some hilarious moments of humour notably involving the White House Chef and a foreign faraway insignificant island.
I am glad I read this, for the title alone, it is one of the most original books I have read. I would recommend this if you're looking for something different.
I am glad I read this, for the title alone, it is one of the most original books I have read. I would recommend this if you're looking for something different.
June 16, 2022
lovesick and lecherous.
well not actually lecherous, I just found that word in a dictionary recently and found it wasn't such a wicked word. I also just found this book in a pile of books in an alley, in a maze of alleys and wanted to give serependipity a try in this age of algorithms and perfect pairings of wines and cheeses.
it was like an action-comedy, some fast paced witty dialogue, a couple of enjoyably silly scenes, and a forlorn man-child waiting around for someone to love him so he gets himself shot for the government.
a heroes welcome on return to the motherland.
standard fare, pairs well with boredom, Pepsi and pumpkin pie.
well not actually lecherous, I just found that word in a dictionary recently and found it wasn't such a wicked word. I also just found this book in a pile of books in an alley, in a maze of alleys and wanted to give serependipity a try in this age of algorithms and perfect pairings of wines and cheeses.
it was like an action-comedy, some fast paced witty dialogue, a couple of enjoyably silly scenes, and a forlorn man-child waiting around for someone to love him so he gets himself shot for the government.
a heroes welcome on return to the motherland.
standard fare, pairs well with boredom, Pepsi and pumpkin pie.
August 17, 2023
If you’re okay with reading a book where absolutely nothing of sustenance happens this is the book for you. I picked this book up in the $1 section of a second hand bookstore and saw covert operations on the cover and got it. I misled myself this is just a collection of about 10ish kinda funny things happening and a man who is kind of creepily obsessed with his married friend.
December 17, 2024
While this book was highly entertaining and I found myself in hysterics at points, it felt like I was reading one long strand of the character’s stream of consciousness. I needed to get to know the female character more, as well as their dynamic. I didn’t feel connected and the book just kind of fell flat for me.
January 25, 2020
1997 Birthday gift from Ed Harris. Very funny!
November 5, 2020
3.5 rounds up to 4 stars for me
July 1, 2021
Made me laugh out loud so many times!
September 30, 2023
Overall this book was boring and lacked any kind of developed plot. I kept reading to find some substance but never found it. 👎🏻
March 24, 2011
3.5 Stars
Doyle Coldiron is a reserved and guarded introvert in the Secret Service. He also has a penchant for dry humor and happens to be a lonely romantic. Add in a possible, secret baseball game with the CIA, an off-limits love interest, and a vague plot line involving SPAM and you have the Night of the Avenging Blowfish.
As I started reading this book, I had trouble comparing the structure to anything else. As much as I dislike the comparison for many reasons, the nearest thing I could compare it to was Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow. This was due to the eclectic, broken-up style of writing, the type of humor and the sexual content that all revolved around a government figure.
The story became more cohesive as it progressed, sometimes causing frustration, sometimes empathy and sometimes fits of laughter.
Doyle Coldiron is a reserved and guarded introvert in the Secret Service. He also has a penchant for dry humor and happens to be a lonely romantic. Add in a possible, secret baseball game with the CIA, an off-limits love interest, and a vague plot line involving SPAM and you have the Night of the Avenging Blowfish.
As I started reading this book, I had trouble comparing the structure to anything else. As much as I dislike the comparison for many reasons, the nearest thing I could compare it to was Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow. This was due to the eclectic, broken-up style of writing, the type of humor and the sexual content that all revolved around a government figure.
The story became more cohesive as it progressed, sometimes causing frustration, sometimes empathy and sometimes fits of laughter.
July 18, 2016
Doyle Coldiron, Secret Service Agent, is looking for threats to the president, love, and a secret baseball game (Secret Service vs. CIA) that might or might not be happening at a secret location at a secret time.
This book is amazingly funny. I bought this on a whim ages ago and I re-read it at least once a year. Told in first person, Doyle's sarcastic, deadpan narration makes you laugh out loud. At the same time, you feel for him because of his work related troubles (he gets demoted because someone served the president spam - not that spam is necessarily something one needs to be protected from...but that argument doesn't save Doyle either) and his romance troubles (he's in love with a married (but separated) woman who works at the White House.
It's definitely a wild ride from start to finish.
This book is amazingly funny. I bought this on a whim ages ago and I re-read it at least once a year. Told in first person, Doyle's sarcastic, deadpan narration makes you laugh out loud. At the same time, you feel for him because of his work related troubles (he gets demoted because someone served the president spam - not that spam is necessarily something one needs to be protected from...but that argument doesn't save Doyle either) and his romance troubles (he's in love with a married (but separated) woman who works at the White House.
It's definitely a wild ride from start to finish.
August 15, 2010
I like to go to the library and buy random books (there is a bookstore in the local library where I live) since I do not favor a particular genre....it is also a great way to discover books/authors that would not normally catch a reader's attention. That being said, some books are a hit while others make one thank goodness that they spent less then a dollar on it . Night of the Avenging Blowfish was one of those books that I would never have normally picked up, yet, happy that I did. Life is so serious, tense, and even depressing sometimes. It was a pleasure to read...the story was clever, interesting, and upbeat. If you are an uptight serious person, this book is not for you.
December 19, 2015
The story of a secret service agent rather obsessively looking for love with a married woman, while dealing with the fallout from a Spam incident that really wasn't his fault. There's a lot of witty banter and amusing asides, and a plot that doesn't really go anywhere. Very funny in places, to be sure, but probably not destined to become a classic, no matter how much it reminded me of Catch 22 in places. And as a warning to folks who prefer to be warned about such things, there are a couple of very graphic sex scenes. (But, interestingly, no real violence.) I'll have to remember Welter the next time I'm looking for a light, funny read.
March 31, 2016
What a silly, fun book! It just flowed, and the humor is so witty and smart. I guess the only problem is that so many of the male characters have the same cutting type of humor, it's hard to imagine them as being singular and unique. Because the writing is equally passionate as much as it is funny, you do ache for the main character, so badly wanting his love affair to achieve fruition. The main scenarios in the book are encapsulated in the title, so that's a clue to three of the main themes in the book. A delightful read, if you can find it. (I had to find it used and sold on Amazon.)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews