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Mars and Venus in Love: Inspiring and Heartfelt Stories of Relationships That Work
Straight from the heart -- real-life couples share inspiring, edifying stories of Mars and Venus in love.Millions of readers have learned about relationships from John Gray's previous bestsellers, such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Mars and Venus on a Date; and Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. Inspired by this enthusiasm, Gray asked a number of readers to share their own stories of how they've put his principles to work in their relationships. The result is this amazing collection of first-person accounts-along with Gray's own enlightening commentary-that will have you laughing, crying, and nodding in recognition.
Gray's contributors answer such questions as:
What problems have you had in your relationship, and how have you overcome them?
What special things do you and your partner do for each other?
How do you best communicate with each other?
How do you practice what you've learned?
How does your love feel different now from how it felt before?
Their answers illustrate more eloquently than any textbook how to use Gray's advice and counsel to create your own fulfilling, healthy, and loving relationships.
Gray's contributors answer such questions as:
What problems have you had in your relationship, and how have you overcome them?
What special things do you and your partner do for each other?
How do you best communicate with each other?
How do you practice what you've learned?
How does your love feel different now from how it felt before?
Their answers illustrate more eloquently than any textbook how to use Gray's advice and counsel to create your own fulfilling, healthy, and loving relationships.
208 pages, Paperback
First published June 4, 1996
43 people are currently reading
444 people want to read
About the author
John Gray
478 books2,125 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
John Gray is an American relationship counselor, lecturer, and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long-term best seller and formed the central theme of his subsequent books and career activities. His books have sold millions of copies.
John Gray is an American relationship counselor, lecturer, and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long-term best seller and formed the central theme of his subsequent books and career activities. His books have sold millions of copies.
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
January 7, 2015
Mars and Venus In Love (1996) by Dr. John Gray is a collection of stories from men and women who either read Dr. Gray’s Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus or attended his conferences in order to improve their relationships. Most of the stories involve married couples or partners who have dated for several years but who were unable to marry. Mars and Venus In Love is an excellent companion to other Dr. Gray books but is recommended for those couples in long term relationships who want to relate to other couples who also had difficult times but were able to work through the hardships and develop lasting relationships.
So what follows are just some of the first-hand accounts from real couples who wrote to Dr. Gray to explain their situations and show how Martians and Venusians can continue to be in a loving relationship despite differences.
Chuck wrote in to say that he had a difficult time communicating with the women he loved. “I was attempting to solve her every problem except the one problem that she really wanted solved. She was really needing me to ‘just listen.’ She had been saying that for years, but I never really understood what she meant. I thought ‘just listen’ meant I should let her finish her point before I give my solution. Now I ‘just listen’; I refrain from giving solutions, and suddenly she feels ‘heard’” (p 16).
Dr. Gray explained why listening is so important for men in order to give their partner the caring the women deserve. “Learning to listen patiently—and not just passively—is a new skill for men. Yet repeatedly men report that keeping quiet and resisting the strong tendency to interrupt a woman with solutions has dramatically improved their relationships. Their partners are much happier and appreciative. Lucky is the man who discovers that satisfying a woman’s need to communicate and be heard is the most important requirement in making relationships loving and harmonious, When a man is a good listener, a woman can repeatedly find the place in her heart that is capable of loving him and embracing him just the way he is” (p 53).
Ellen added to this issue about men needing to listen. “If we women could just trust, and teach men not to try to fix but just to listen, then our hearts would automatically open up and we would feel much close to the men” (p 73).
Suzanne described her relationship with Rich and how they created a loving marriage: “We tell each other ‘I love you’ every day. We don’t leave the house or arrive home without kissing each other hello or good-bye. One thing Rich has always done since I met him is to call me at least once a day, just to see how I’m doing, and he always tells me when I can expect him home” (p 77).
Marge discussed about her difficulties in her relationship and how she learned to overcome them. “When he cleaned things up, I smiled and said, ‘It looks really great.’ Appreciating his actions was like some secret magical love potion; immediately he was relieved and at peace. I would have never imagined how much easier it could be. With this one change in my behavior, he changed. Then I started to feel love again” (p 17).
Judy wrote in and told about Ken and how they began to honor each other differences. “We communicate, and we know how to honor each other as different sexes. We know how those differences work. I no longer assume it should be easy for Ken to understand me. Sometimes I don’t understand myself, so how should I expect a Martian to? When he listens and tries to understand me, I really appreciate that he tries.
“Before Ken, I would just expect a man to listen and understand. I thought that if he loved me, then he would automatically want to connect with me through communication. I didn’t know that men connect through doing. When Ken feels like he is doing something for me, then he starts feeling connected. Passively listening makes a man feel like he is not doing anything to help” (p 19).
Dr. John Gray commented on men and their caves and how women still love to share conversations with their partners regardless of having a stressful day. “The insight—that a man can love his wife but sometimes not want to spend time with her—is quite surprising for many women and generally very foreign to their nature. When a woman is in love with her man, she looks forward to spending time together and sharing. Even if she is feeling stressed, she still looks forward to sharing the details of her day with the man she loves…on Venus, not wanting to talk is the clearest and most definite sign that there is a big problem in the relationship” (p 31).
Krista added to Dr. Gray’s comments about men and their caves. Krista explained, “Understanding men and their caves changed all my expectations. When he seems distant and aloof I don’t panic. It is temporary. I just say ‘cancel’ to all my automatic responses like, It’s my fault, I did something wrong, he doesn’t love me, I failed him in some way, he doesn’t care for me as much as he used to” (p 40).
Pam, who wrote in about her situation with Warren, offered this great advice about marriage: “It takes more than love to make our marriage work; it takes commitment, education, skills, insight, and tools. We supplied the love and commitment, and John Gray supplied the education, communication skills, insights, and tools” (p 44).
Candice explained about what she wanted in a man and in a relationship when she wrote in to Dr. Gray. “I wanted a man who could open up to me and share his heart and soul. I wanted to be a team. We would always come together to share our feelings, problems, and needs. Someone who depended on me and I on him. It seemed in every relationship after a few months the man would back off in some way. When I tried to get him to talk, there was always ‘nothing’ to talk about or he would feel smothered…
“I was so surprised to find that these men were not afraid of intimacy, nor did they need years of therapy—they were from Mars…Through understanding men and their caves, I learned how I had been pushing them away. I am grateful to have a new model of healthy intimacy, which is achieved through a balance of alone time and together time, a loving blend of being independent and dependent-interdependence” (p 48-49).
Dr. Gray concluded about men and women and why so many relationships end in heartache and marriages end in divorce and how loving partners can educate themselves in order to create lasting unions that stand the test of time. “Understanding that men are from Mars and women are from Venus has been a key ingredient for immediately improving any relationship. If you were to go to another planet, certainly you would first study its inhabitants’ language, culture, and traditions. Without this vital information you would repeatedly and unknowingly offend others and sabotage your relationships” (p 109).
If you know very little about the opposite sex and/or you don’t really know the best way to communicate with your favorite Martian or Venusians, I recommend you pick up and read either Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus or Mars and Venus on a Date or Mars and Venus In Love—all are a strong recommend.
Keep reading and smiling…
So what follows are just some of the first-hand accounts from real couples who wrote to Dr. Gray to explain their situations and show how Martians and Venusians can continue to be in a loving relationship despite differences.
Chuck wrote in to say that he had a difficult time communicating with the women he loved. “I was attempting to solve her every problem except the one problem that she really wanted solved. She was really needing me to ‘just listen.’ She had been saying that for years, but I never really understood what she meant. I thought ‘just listen’ meant I should let her finish her point before I give my solution. Now I ‘just listen’; I refrain from giving solutions, and suddenly she feels ‘heard’” (p 16).
Dr. Gray explained why listening is so important for men in order to give their partner the caring the women deserve. “Learning to listen patiently—and not just passively—is a new skill for men. Yet repeatedly men report that keeping quiet and resisting the strong tendency to interrupt a woman with solutions has dramatically improved their relationships. Their partners are much happier and appreciative. Lucky is the man who discovers that satisfying a woman’s need to communicate and be heard is the most important requirement in making relationships loving and harmonious, When a man is a good listener, a woman can repeatedly find the place in her heart that is capable of loving him and embracing him just the way he is” (p 53).
Ellen added to this issue about men needing to listen. “If we women could just trust, and teach men not to try to fix but just to listen, then our hearts would automatically open up and we would feel much close to the men” (p 73).
Suzanne described her relationship with Rich and how they created a loving marriage: “We tell each other ‘I love you’ every day. We don’t leave the house or arrive home without kissing each other hello or good-bye. One thing Rich has always done since I met him is to call me at least once a day, just to see how I’m doing, and he always tells me when I can expect him home” (p 77).
Marge discussed about her difficulties in her relationship and how she learned to overcome them. “When he cleaned things up, I smiled and said, ‘It looks really great.’ Appreciating his actions was like some secret magical love potion; immediately he was relieved and at peace. I would have never imagined how much easier it could be. With this one change in my behavior, he changed. Then I started to feel love again” (p 17).
Judy wrote in and told about Ken and how they began to honor each other differences. “We communicate, and we know how to honor each other as different sexes. We know how those differences work. I no longer assume it should be easy for Ken to understand me. Sometimes I don’t understand myself, so how should I expect a Martian to? When he listens and tries to understand me, I really appreciate that he tries.
“Before Ken, I would just expect a man to listen and understand. I thought that if he loved me, then he would automatically want to connect with me through communication. I didn’t know that men connect through doing. When Ken feels like he is doing something for me, then he starts feeling connected. Passively listening makes a man feel like he is not doing anything to help” (p 19).
Dr. John Gray commented on men and their caves and how women still love to share conversations with their partners regardless of having a stressful day. “The insight—that a man can love his wife but sometimes not want to spend time with her—is quite surprising for many women and generally very foreign to their nature. When a woman is in love with her man, she looks forward to spending time together and sharing. Even if she is feeling stressed, she still looks forward to sharing the details of her day with the man she loves…on Venus, not wanting to talk is the clearest and most definite sign that there is a big problem in the relationship” (p 31).
Krista added to Dr. Gray’s comments about men and their caves. Krista explained, “Understanding men and their caves changed all my expectations. When he seems distant and aloof I don’t panic. It is temporary. I just say ‘cancel’ to all my automatic responses like, It’s my fault, I did something wrong, he doesn’t love me, I failed him in some way, he doesn’t care for me as much as he used to” (p 40).
Pam, who wrote in about her situation with Warren, offered this great advice about marriage: “It takes more than love to make our marriage work; it takes commitment, education, skills, insight, and tools. We supplied the love and commitment, and John Gray supplied the education, communication skills, insights, and tools” (p 44).
Candice explained about what she wanted in a man and in a relationship when she wrote in to Dr. Gray. “I wanted a man who could open up to me and share his heart and soul. I wanted to be a team. We would always come together to share our feelings, problems, and needs. Someone who depended on me and I on him. It seemed in every relationship after a few months the man would back off in some way. When I tried to get him to talk, there was always ‘nothing’ to talk about or he would feel smothered…
“I was so surprised to find that these men were not afraid of intimacy, nor did they need years of therapy—they were from Mars…Through understanding men and their caves, I learned how I had been pushing them away. I am grateful to have a new model of healthy intimacy, which is achieved through a balance of alone time and together time, a loving blend of being independent and dependent-interdependence” (p 48-49).
Dr. Gray concluded about men and women and why so many relationships end in heartache and marriages end in divorce and how loving partners can educate themselves in order to create lasting unions that stand the test of time. “Understanding that men are from Mars and women are from Venus has been a key ingredient for immediately improving any relationship. If you were to go to another planet, certainly you would first study its inhabitants’ language, culture, and traditions. Without this vital information you would repeatedly and unknowingly offend others and sabotage your relationships” (p 109).
If you know very little about the opposite sex and/or you don’t really know the best way to communicate with your favorite Martian or Venusians, I recommend you pick up and read either Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus or Mars and Venus on a Date or Mars and Venus In Love—all are a strong recommend.
Keep reading and smiling…
February 21, 2013
Inspiring for those who suffer in their relationships. And yes, Love can last till the end :)
November 20, 2016
It helped so much to hear others say what I am hoping for: "through understanding in a positive way why we have been misunderstanding each other, I have found hope again. This has been an incredible adventure."
There are so many stories that inspire because one is shown how to go from what isn't working to what works for a great marriage.
There is a safe zone Dr. John Gray provides--"He started by talking about al the mistakes he had made in his relationships, and right away," this husband says, "I felt a tremendous weight lift off my shoulders."
This adventure provides transformation that brings respect and feeling known: "Finally [he] understood how I felt. He was, and is, so good about listening and wanting to change what needs to be changed. I, on the other hand, realized how Martians think. Before that, I'd say to myself, 'How stupid can he be, not understand how hurt I've been?'"
One comes back to life when one stops feeling hurt and understands one's spouse more (since the spouse is not trying to hurt one on purpose). That is a great step in working as a team.
Great resource to respect each others' point of view! Thanks, Dr. John Gray!
There are so many stories that inspire because one is shown how to go from what isn't working to what works for a great marriage.
There is a safe zone Dr. John Gray provides--"He started by talking about al the mistakes he had made in his relationships, and right away," this husband says, "I felt a tremendous weight lift off my shoulders."
This adventure provides transformation that brings respect and feeling known: "Finally [he] understood how I felt. He was, and is, so good about listening and wanting to change what needs to be changed. I, on the other hand, realized how Martians think. Before that, I'd say to myself, 'How stupid can he be, not understand how hurt I've been?'"
One comes back to life when one stops feeling hurt and understands one's spouse more (since the spouse is not trying to hurt one on purpose). That is a great step in working as a team.
Great resource to respect each others' point of view! Thanks, Dr. John Gray!
January 24, 2012
A departure from John Gray's other in that it is not narrative by Gray - it is mainly letters sent to him by those who have benefitted from his books and seminars. It is good to get a perspective from the beneficiaries of Gray's ideas.
A must read for all who are in a relationship or who wish to be.
A must read for all who are in a relationship or who wish to be.
September 13, 2008
I really enjoy John Gray's practical advice. I read this when I was clueless and stupid early on in my marriage as a teenage bride. I'm a little less clueless now, and hopefully a little wiser than I was ten years ago, but still enjoy his bits of wisdom.
May 12, 2013
Readers write in and gush about how "Men Are from Mars..." changed their lives. It reads like one long annoying infomercial, just keeps rehashing the main ideas over and over: women need to be listened to, men need to be left alone. Skip this and read the original.
October 3, 2007
Bukunya gw yg versi translate indonesia,, sebenernya gw salah beli gtu,, cause gwe kira untuk yg blum married taunya untuk yg udah,, huhu salah bli de bo...
November 1, 2007
just read it...
November 21, 2011
1239th - 2011
April 18, 2012
Interesting book, with lot of true life stories that could help in application and save relationships, specially the last chapter.
May 27, 2012
not bad...
Read
December 5, 2012very good
August 30, 2023
Gray explains how Mars and Venus can continue to form a relationship despite their differences. Some insights from this book include that men need to listen to their women. Men need to listen and avoid giving solutions in order for women to feel heard. Learn to listen patiently. When a man is a good listener, a woman can repeatedly find a place in her heart that can love her and embrace her as she is. Women should appreciate the little things about their men. Appreciating his actions gives them some magical love potion and makes them relieved and happy. Men and women must be able to acknowledge their differences. How can our partner be able to understand us, even I myself as a woman do not understand myself. Both men and women should listen attentively to their partners. Passive listening makes people feel like they are doing nothing. It takes more than love to make a relationship work. It takes time, commitment, skills, insight and tools. I like the idea of labeling men are from mars and women are from venus. Since these two are from different planets, we should learn the language, culture and traditions of the people. Without this information, we may repeatedly offend others to the point of damaging our relationship.
July 28, 2021
the book is about stories. problems of before and how after the book they were solved and relationships understood. the problem is that the narration of the couples' stories makes it seemed so easy and fast solution. that can't be right. in life relationships building takes time so fixing it takes longer. the solution cant be a book or a seminar. it is a collection of things that should coexist to save a relationship or realize that it was not meant to be from the beginning.
November 25, 2024
Ексклузивен фокус върху истински и окуражаващи истории за човешките взаимоотношения, продължение на "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus". Не допринася с много след оригиналната идея на книгата, а е комплимент и задълбаване, ако някой си е представял, че нещо някога е лесно.
За съжаление без оригиналната книга няма много стойност, а това само по себе си прави книгата много изолирана в приложението си.
За съжаление без оригиналната книга няма много стойност, а това само по себе си прави книгата много изолирана в приложението си.
May 16, 2019
Mostly self-congratulatory. Only a little of his supposedly good advice regarding relationships, and what is there was mostly stuff I already knew, or useless, or inaccurate when applied to our marriage.
June 24, 2018
This book is used to promote the author's first book.
December 9, 2018
Uppföljare till "Män är från Mars, Kvinnor är från Venus" där läsare som läst första boken skrivit in till Gray och med deras historier. Ingen favorit för mig.
November 28, 2024
I feel like Gray uses over generalizations and stereotypes to peg all women as one type and all men as one type. And the stories of couples are really just the same thing on repeat.
July 31, 2025
This is a follow-up book to Dr. John Gray’s, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book. This book gives examples of other couple’s stories.
January 4, 2023
This book really puts men and women in perspective. Especially the differences they feel while in a relationship.
May 16, 2025
Es realmente una recopilación de historias de parejas, no hay realmente teoría más allá de repasar la de los otros libros. Es un buen libro para ver cómo se aplican y afectan a parejas reales las enseñanzas de John Gray. No es el más imprescindible de leer.
2.5 🌟
2.5 🌟
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March 27, 2008306.7
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April 26, 2017lbnlklk lnlkn
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