The Milk Memos: How Real Moms Learned to Mix Business with Babies-and How You Can, Too

by Cate Colburn-Smith, Andrea Serrette

This one-of-a-kind guide to balancing motherhood and work is based on actual journals kept by a group of IBM women during their visits to the company's employee lactation room. It all began when IBM manager Cate Colburn-Smith sat down in the company's employee lactation room, shed a few silent tears, and wrote the following on a paper I'm a new mom and today is my first day back at work. Is anyone else using this room? Right away women responded, and the paper towel was eventually replaced by a series of notebooks, in which women offered one another advice and support on juggling work and a newborn. Based on the original notebooks, The Milk Memos is a heartwarming, encouraging (and often hilarious!) guide to working motherhood. It's one of the most existential moments any woman will sitting in a small room tucked away in the bowels of your company, pumping breast milk for a child so close to your heart-yet, at that moment, so far away. The Milk Memos records the voices of mothers who, while struggling with the difficulties of blending their two lives, prove that women don't have to choose between work and family. Their thoughts on how it can be done will inspire women everywhere. This invaluable book weaves the actual Milk Memos journal entries with information-packed sections on such topics of great concern to working moms - finding a private place to pump breast milk at work and establishing a routine that you can maintain despite your busy workday; - establishing the right daycare solution; - getting a decent night's sleep with a new baby so that you can shine (or at least glimmer!) during business hours; and - negotiating flextime, part-time, or a job share with an employer. The ultimate gift for any new mom who will soon return to work, The Milk Memos is destined to become a classic on the parenting shelf.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Adult, Memoir, Family, Womens, Self Help

386 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 15, 2007

Reviews

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

About a month ago, I saw a breakdown of breastfeeding duration by mothers' employment status and realized that it's totally normal that I'm the only mom I know right now who breastfeeds AND works full-time outside the home--only 11% of moms who work full-time make it to the recommended 12-month mark. ELEVEN PERCENT, people. So when I came across The Milk Memos, I was thrilled to have access to a breastfeeding support book that doesn't try to talk you out of working (cough The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding cough) and focuses on providing advice about working mom breastfeeding issues like pumping, maintaining supply while being away from your baby, and dealing with breastfeeding while on business trips. On that expectation, the Milk Memos really came through--while I had figured out most of these tips by the time I read it, I was thrilled to see such practical, non-judgmental advice for working moms, coupled with a healthy amount of cheering you on for breastfeeding.

However, most of the book is a cheesy chronicle of notes back and forth between breastfeeding moms at IBM that sound like BabyCenter.com; the slang is forced and the jokes are lame, and I was really disappointed that the personal narratives and the informational text didn't include any critique of Dr. Sears and the La Leche League (both of whom are mentioned, neither of whom is called out for not being in touch with the reality that most moms do have to work).

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brutally realistic picture of life as a working mom. The focus of teh book is continuing to bresatfeed your baby once returning to the workforce, but it was also interesting to see how differently each woman handles returning to work, the pressures of work, being separated from their baby, fitting in pumping, and the change in their focus from work to family. You won't have any illusions that being a working mother is easy, but it is inspiring to hear about other women who did it and to try to continue pumping and breastfeeding as long as possible to provide for your baby while juggling the pressures of work and family.

[Meg · Rating 2 out of 5]

Outdated, a bit boring and sappy in my opinion.

[Colleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book may not be 100% in my style (a little saccharine), fit to my situation (on my second, not first, go round as a pumping mom), or year (the back holding an adorable paper log for expressed milk counts, as no one had at that point imagined smartphones with apps for that purpose, far less bluetooth handsfree pumps coming on the market now.)

And at the same time none of that matters, because they identified a critical feeling— the isolation of being the working new mom in the office— slipping off quietly to a mother’s room, juggling equipment and sanitizing and sitting alone watching the clock roll over fretting about why you don’t have enough, or whether the baby is even going to take this bottle, or the meeting you’re about to be late to.

I may never have had the experience that the authors assert is universal, of crying in the car at work for how much I miss my baby during the day, and I’m not exactly in the ya-ya sisterhood, but when I finished this book, which was laying around the mothers room, during my last session on my last day pumping at that particular office, yeah, I did cry. It felt really good to be seen.

I was very very lucky to have a very close friend when I was pumping with my first who I could ask every single super detailed question. I think the fact that this book predates the age where you can Google every single one of these questions is actually a really good thing. Fractured competing answers from Internet boards just are not as helpful to an overwhelmed first time mom as a single knowing friend.

[Marieke · Rating 3 out of 5]

A strong three stars. It was fun and easy to read. I'm glad I read it well before returning to work (baby isn't even here yet) because I'm quite dreading the emotional aspect of going back to work and really anxious about logistical things. I thought the book was well organized and I'll likely be reading parts again as I return to work. Even though much of the information wasn't new, I appreciated how its presentation was geared toward working moms and I especially appreciated hearing about the few things that came up that I didn't even know to anticipate or plan for. I thought mixing the journal entires from actual women experiencing these things with informative and explanatory text was helpful. Sometimes you read books and hear about things but have no idea how those things play out for a real person--here you do. Also each of the women (I think they were composites, however) had different problems and backgrounds as working moms. I thought it was great to see such different women with different goals be so supportive of one another.

[Maura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a nice complement to Work, Pump, Repeat and I really needed this as I am two weeks away from my first business trip. Traveling while pumping is probably the thing I am most nervous about as I try to breastfeed my little one for her first year. This book drove home the importance of community and support among women, especially when things get tough. Baby just woke up - looks like this review is done!

[Devon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a combination of journal entries from coworkers about babies & breastmilk and information about everything you may need to know about lactation and pumping at work. The journal entries were way too cheesy but the information was good. I would recommend this to anyone returning to work from maternity leave.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, informative and encouraging for any mom returning to work and learning to balance work and home life. Very encouraging and helpful for the mom that's committed to breastfeeding but overwhelmed when returning to work.

[Jenny Wuehrmann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had some very useful tips for pumping, working moms. Some of it was a little cheesy but it was quick to get through and helped me feel like maybe what I was experiencing wasn’t so strange.

They had different types of moms which helped me relate (there was one exclusive pumper) but I wish they had included a mom who maybe was excited sometimes to get out of the house and go to work? All of the women in the book absolutely loved nursing and hated being away at the office, but that felt a little contrived to me. Some moms like getting out!

I’d support there being a second version published with the latest on workplace guidelines.

[Erin A · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a good reference to quickly skim. The book included helpful tips for returning to work, negotiating working hours (including time for pumping), and general pumping advice. I appreciated the camaraderie between these working moms balancing so many different challenges.

However, many sections were outdated due to changing advice from the AAP and recent legislation (the PUMP Act) requiring employers to provide reasonable time to express breast milk and a private place to pump. Check out BabyCenter and OPM for more recent info.

[Ashley McAuliffe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was really cute. I loved the moms of the book and it was an easy read. If you work in corporate America and are breastfeeding, this book is for you! Yes, some of the information is outdated but it was published in 2007. It was dry at times. If you enjoyed your breastfeeding journey, would like to continue breastfeeding, a working mama who pumps or primarily breastfeeds then this book is for you. I actually stopped breastfeeding before I went back to work but primarily work with the postpartum demographic and gave this book a try.

[Carrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty heavy-handed on breastmilk being the cure to all of life's problems, but otherwise good!

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is really only relevant to a niche audience, but if you're in that audience (new moms going back to work) I highly recommend it. I really wish I'd had it before I started back a few weeks ago.

The book was inspired by a notebook left in the "lactation room" at IBM. Several moms used the notebook to communicate with other pumping moms, and Milk Memos was born as a result. The book not only answered many of the questions I had about the logistical side of pumping (How much? How often? Where to store?) but it became a kind of social outlet too. I am the only nursing mom in my company right now, so I don't really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. This book became my girlfriend and companion about the whole pumping experience (I have a hate/hate relationship with my pump, so I needed a girlfriend).

It's really hard to go back to work after several months off and try to get back into the swing of things, especially when you're taking a break every few hours to pump. There's nothing that feels less like a "break," but that's how your employer sees it. I find the whole experience stressful, and it was helpful to read about other women who went through this.

I'm also so grateful to women like the authors who agitated for pumping rights in a time where a "family-friendly" workplace was a distant dream. We still have a long way to go, I get to pump on a wooden bench in a shower room. However, if it weren't for these women I wouldn't have the right to pump at all, let alone the right to a private room in which to do it. I'm grateful.

Anyway, if you are a new working mom or have a new working mom in your life, I highly recommend this book.

[Kelli Liszka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read before maternity leave ends

I'm typing this review during a middle of the night nursing session with my four-month-old, who just started daycare last week when I returned to work from maternity leave. Throughout leave, I had anxiety (and guilt) about returning to work. Luckily, I stumbled on a recommendation for this book in the comments section of one of the many "pumping and going back to work" articles that I read just in the nick of time.

While it is certainly spot-on for nursing moms, I think ANY mom returning to work can find comfort, humor and practical advice in its pages. I've already decided decided to include a copy of this book in any shower gift and will recommend that the new mommy reads it about a month before going back.

I'm happy to report that I survived my first week back (which, pro-tip, was only 3 days thanks to starting midweek), complete with three daily pumping sessions, and it went better than I could have ever expected. You can do it! I could almost feel the Milk Mamas from the book cheering me on, and have already bonded with a couple of the Milk Mamas with whom I share our very own Pumping Palace. :)

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I fit the profile for this book exactly, but I wasn't that into it actually.

Fortunately for me I work for a great organization that has a nice lactation room and I have a very supportive office environment, so I have not faced half the problems these women did. And at least at this point, I haven't had to leave my baby with a stranger.

It's a super breezy book, one that you can easily skim and read the parts that you want. There are a lot of how to's in this book, most all of which I've read somewhere else before. For that part, I wasn't that excited. I did really enjoy the back and forth banter of the women. And, if you're going to try to be a working mom (and especially if you're going to try to be a breastfeeding working mom) you have to rely on the women around you who have gone before or are going through the same thing. It makes it sooooo much easier!

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The information was good and it made me feel less alone and anxious as my maternity leave ends...but the writing reminded me of a Babysitter's Club Book. (And not in a good way.) I understand the characters were based off many IBM moms, but something was off. I think I would have enjoyed going more in-depth with fewer characters. We had the exec career woman, the single mom, the "admin," the over supply, the under supply, one who pumped for a year, someone who stopped after a few months, the mom who quit to become a SAHM, etc. The story was stretched a bit thin. Also, everyone's voice sounded the same, so I never quite felt attached to a character...they were interchangeable.

That said...I'm glad I read it, and I'll recommend it to my friends as they enter the back half of their maternity leave.

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The information was good and it made me feel less alone and anxious as my maternity leave ends...but the writing reminded me of a Babysitter's Club Book. (And not in a good way.) I understand the characters were based off many IBM moms, but something was off. I think I would have enjoyed going more in-depth with fewer characters. We had the exec career woman, the single mom, the "admin," the over supply, the under supply, one who pumped for a year, someone who stopped after a few months, the mom who quit to become a SAHM, etc. The story was stretched a bit thin. Also, everyone's voice sounded the same, so I never quite felt attached to a character...they were interchangeable.

That said...I'm glad I read it, and I'll recommend it to my friends as they enter the back half of their maternity leave.

[Nookie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a must read for all working and pumping moms. It promotes breastfeeding and what better way can it be done if not through mother-to-mother support?

I enjoyed reading the journal entries of the pumping moms working at IBM where they shared their breastfeeding, pumping and parenting wisdom. The journal entries are also interspersed with helpful tips and advice for other mothers re-entering the work force after having a baby. Though it is very informative, I cannot relate to it 100% because all the details like statistics and prices are all based in America, not where I live(Singapore).

Even though I feel inspired when reading the book, not everyone has the convenience to pump at work.

[Nari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for moms that are soon going to be saying goodbye to their maternity leave and returning to work. It mostly covers pumping issues at work, but it also discusses a wide range of topics that breatfeeding and pumping moms have to deal with, along with the emotional toil of leaving their children in someone else's hands.

The book is lifted from a series of notebooks kept in the lactation room at an IBM in Boulder, CO. Now that I'm back and working and pumping, so much of what the women discussed in the journals is actually happening to me at work. It was nice to have a head's up on what to expect my first week back.

[Casey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great breastfeeding book! This filled in a lot of the holes from LLLI's Womanly Art. It's unclear how much of the dialogue from the notebooks was verbatim, but it was cute. I'd love to have a group of women like that at work to commiserate with, but as it is, I'm lucky just to have a group of women (8 total in the entire company, and I'm the only one with a child under 10 years old). I especially appreciated the checklist of things to pack in my pump bag, and also the advice to give it three or four months before making any decisions about continuing to pump and/or work. I'm glad to be returning only 24 hours per week for the first twelve weeks.

[Syafiqa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I honestly love this book! So relevant to working mothers, and written in laidback manner (not like a textbook!). Points presented are nothing new, but it's great to read on other people experience and how they support each other.

Reading this, I'm envious that IBM has such a flexible working programme, wish my company has that. But I guess I'm luckier in the sense that my working environment, colleagues and bosses are friendlier towards mothers. I love how they pointed out that mothers (as employees) has better time management (I realised that too!)

Also, I wish the authors had encourage people to learn the marmet technique, it's soooo useful when pump is not working or not available.

[Marianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit cheesy at times, and a few parts seemed forced or out-of-date, but this was exactly what I needed emotionally when I went back to work with my first. I'm re-reading it now as my second mat leave is almost over.

I'm lucky to work at a place that encourages and supports women (both philosophically, and with infrastructure/policy like multiple easily reservable mothers rooms) -- but even in this ideal situation, challenges are undeniable, and I identified wholeheartedly with this book.

Even though the book isn't perfect, it reads quickly and like a good friend. It makes me laugh, and cry, and hold my babies a little tighter.

[Leann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gives a brutally realistic picture of what it is like for working mothers with babies. It's focus is on continuing to breastfeed your baby once you return to work, but the authors did a great job of showing how differently each woman handles returning to work, being separated from her child, and trying to juggle everything at once. One warning: This book may depress you or freak you out if you're a first time mom. But you won't have any illusions that being a working mother is easy.

[slightlyfoxed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book on mixing breastfeeding with working based on a notebook left in the lactation room at IBM. (Businesses have lactation rooms? How cool is that!)

It didn't really teach me anything new about breastfeeding (except maybe how beer can increase milk production). What it did do is validate my feelings of guilt, frustration, loneliness, and pride as I continue to provide nourishment for my baby while I work.

As a result of this book, I've named my pump (Beulah) and am seriously considering starting a Milk Memos group on Facebook (if I can't find one already).

[Mimo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Last year, I only went into the storage closet at my work occasionally. Now, I spend about 40+ minutes in there daily pumping milk for my son. I am the only person that occupies my own little "pumping palace" so I don't have someone to write back and forth to. Luckily I had The Milk Memos to read instead. I appreciated that the book was warm and lighthearted but with plenty of tips and facts on breastfeeding, pumping and succeeding as a working mom. I'd definitely recommend it to any nursing mom to read during her first week or two back at work.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read with helpful tips and advice!

I am expecting my first child in a few months with plans of going back to work after 8 weeks of leave. This book has helped prepare me for the physical as well as emotional transition back to the workplace. I love that it's written with stories from several working moms. I had no idea what to expect and now I feel ready and confident that nursing, pumping and working full time can happen. I'll definitely reference it again when my baby is born.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had bought this right before I came back to work instead of three weeks into my return from maternity leave. It offers some great tips on pumping and milk, citing Kelly Mom and all of the other great expert sites. It also offers a lot of great commiseration in the forms of the stories that the mom's tell. I thought it was great without being too preachy about feeding and seemed to follow the thought that as long as you can manage to nurse, that's great for your kid.

[Sarah Maxwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ahhh, yet another mommy book that I COULD NOT DEAL WITHOUT. These fantastic women from IBM gave their hearts and souls into being executives, new moms and wives all while juggling their breastpump, stilettos and laptops. I read every entry and referred to some again and again. I have given this book to all my mommy-friends who are at the end of their 8-12 week maternity leave. Gut laughs, tears of pain/sorrow and tears of joy were shed over this fabulous book. A MUST READ!

[Shelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an easy, fun read for women thinking about returning to work while still pumping breastmilk for their babies. It really put into perspective the thoughts, feelings, conflicts, emotions, etc. that I might be facing in just a few short months. I can't wait to meet my sweet baby, but I hadn't really thought much about what it will be like to return to work. I appreciated the first-hand accounts from the women who started this journal. Thanks for the heads up!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical tips for new working moms

This is a helpful book for both pregnant career women and new moms returning to work. While the journal entries are pure fluff, they are interspersed with practical tips about pumping, childcare, weaning, etc. as well as some very interesting facts about breastfeeding. It also addresses the guilt and other emotions many new mothers feel when they return to work.