Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life

by Judith Orloff

A New York Times bestseller, Emotional Freedom is a road map for those who are stressed out, discouraged, or overwhelmed as well as for those who are in a good emotional place but want to feel even better. Picture yourself trapped in a traffic jam feeling utterly calm. Imagine being unflappable and relaxed when your supervisor loses her temper. What if you were peaceful instead of anxious? What if your life were filled with nurturing relationships and a warm sense of belonging? This is what it feels like when you’ve achieved emotional freedom. Bestselling author Dr. Judith Orloff invites you to take a remarkable journey, one that leads to happiness and serenity, and a place where you can gain mastery over the negativity that pervades daily life. No matter how stressed you currently feel, the time for positive change is now. You possess the ability to liberate yourself from depression, anger, and fear. Synthesizing neuroscience, intuitive medicine, psychology, and subtle energy techniques, Dr. Orloff maps the elegant relationships between our minds, bodies, spirits, and environments. With humor and compassion, she shows you how to identify the most powerful negative emotions and how to transform them into hope, kindness, and courage. Compelling patient case studies and stories from her online community, her workshop participants, and her own private life illustrate the simple, easy-to-follow action steps that you can take to cope with emotional vampires, disappointments, and rejection. As Dr. Orloff shows, each day presents opportunities for us to be heroes in our own to turn away from negativity, react constructively, and seize command of any situation. Complete emotional freedom is within your grasp.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Mental Health, Spirituality, Audiobook

418 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Judith Orloff, MD is a psychiatrist, an empath, and author of the recent book "The Genius of Empathy" (Foreword by the Dalai Lama) which offers powerful skills to tap into empathy as a daily healing practice. Her upcoming children’s book "The Highly Sensitive Rabbit" is about a caring rabbit who learns to embrace her gifts of sensitivity through the kindness of loving animals. Her other books include "The Empath’s Survival Guide" and "Thriving as an Empath."

Dr. Orloff is a New York Times bestselling author and a UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty member. She synthesizes the pearls of conventional medicine with cutting-edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff specializes in treating highly sensitive people in her private practice. She has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, and in the New York Times and Scientific American. Learn more about the power of empathy at www.drjudithorloff.com

Reviews

[Diane · Rating 2 out of 5]

After trudging through this whole book, I realized there was nothing new here.

Anyone familiar with self-help books will, most likely, come to realize that the book is basically a compilation of those which came before - only with much more verbiage.

Recommendation: Take a pass on this one.

[Nada · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my!
It's like I found all the answers i need in this book! 💙💙
I like it so much. I certainly gonna read all of this author's books👍🏼
Here are some of the notes I took:

" know where you currently stand."
" 'There's no external refuge.' To be free you must go inside"
" 'The best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure he never knows he's in prison.' " !!
" The biology of emotional freedom depends on getting your endorphins flowing and turning off your stress hormones. How you achieve this? Laughter, exercise, meditation and doing anything that makes you loved"!
" 'the sins of the family fall on the daughter' "
" there're three types of liberating dreams: psychological, predictive and guidance."
" getting along with yourself will lead to getting along with others"
" ' remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' "
" emotional vampires types:
1- the narcissist ( me first)
2- the victim ( dependent personality)
3- the controller
4-the criticizer "
" you're only free when you successfully face your fears in a proactive way. "
" freedom comes from making such brave choices."
" remember that negative emotions have a much louder intuitive signal than positive ones."
" courage attracts courage."
" don't let people run over you."
" when one door closes, another one opens"
" emotional suffering largely comes from how you perceive an event, not just from the event itself."
" we arrive and leave this life alone"
" destiny is a mysterious thing."
" I have a belief system that tells me not to give up "
" find love from many sources"
" ' don't anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen.' " !
" train your mind, change your biology:
1- Exercise 2- Get sufficient sunlight 3- Laugh "
" depression is the dark night of the soul "
" facing the self is unavoidable. Whether now or in distant eons, you must do it. This is good. This is purifying."
" to detach from depression:
1- ask yourself: is the feeling mine or someone else's? , you may have incorporated the depression of the people sitting beside you; energy fields overlap.
2-distance yourself from the suspected source.
3- for a few minutes, center yourself by concentrating on your breath, keep exhaling depression and inhaling calm.
4- look for hopeful people and situations. Hope is contagious; it will lift your mood.
" crying makes you feel better, you don't want to hold tears back. It's healthy to cry. This helps resolve depression. Let your tears flow to purify depression and negativity."
" sometimes pain is unavoidable, but your response is what determines how much you suffer. Suffering can quicken your capacity to awaken, and so to heal."
" the difference between grief and depression:
Depression is an emotion to be consciously transformed; grief is a reaction to loss that can transform you."
" depression can be a healthy stage of grieving, but people can get stuck there."
" the only thing you lose when you die is your fear of death."
" happiness can't be sustained by anything that happens externally; it comes from within." !
" whatever you're going through, there's always hope for a new day."
" self-esteem is the solution to jealousy and envy."
" my spiritual teacher describes a person with a big ego as ' a feather pretending to be an arrow.' " !
" self-esteem must come from simply being you."
" every action has an equal and opposite reaction"
" anger is toxic to your system and damaging to relationships. it can eat you alive, close your heart, and make you unable to think straight."
" ' to end violence we must relentlessly keep freeing ourselves from the violence within.' " !
" tips to defuse anger and nurture compassion:
1- when you're upset, pause and slowly count to ten.
2- take a cooling off period.
3- don't try to address your anger when you're rushed."
" Ghandi said we must be the change we want to see."
" you must feel anger before you can begin to forgive."
" forgiving may not make anger totally dissolved, but it will give you the freedom of knowing you're so much more. I repeat: forgiveness refers to the actor, not to the act."
" in the notion of karma, what goes around comes around."
" I'd like to present three psychological guidelines for transforming anger:
1- learn from your past.
2- outsmart bullies."
" it's not the burden of your mate or anyone else to heal your emotional issues."
" emotional freedom is an inner peace movement that is birthed from within each of us. The starting place is always you. The more peace you enjoy, the more that energy ripples out to everyone."
"Achieving emotional freedom gives you ongoing access to your own power center."
" our heart is our greatest legacy."
" a golden compass always point to the heart. That's the direction to freedom."

[Rebecca Recco · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great resource for ways to deal with negative emotions, especially when those emotions come from "energy vampires" who are toxic to be around. Through this book, I realized that I am very sensitive to others' energies, and that there are exercises that I can do to prevent taking on their energy and becoming negative. This all sounds very new-agey and silly to some, I'm sure, but whatever works!

[thewestchestarian · Rating 1 out of 5]

The New Age Nonsense Guide to Mental Hygiene. Admitted former mental patient, Dr. Judy applies the full suite of new age woo-woo concepts to the care and feeding of the human psyche. Spirit guides, intuition, portentous dreams, it’s all here. Orloff mixes in enough talk of brain imaging and double-blind testing to temporarily earn the readers credibility then pulls out corkers such as: ”the Capricorn in me is as stubborn as a billy-goat!” One assumes her discussion of how important it is to talk through your fear of success with garden fairies was the only piece cut by the editor. The concern for the ”movie stars” and ”chart-topping rap artists” who supposedly populate her patient roster is tempered by the fact that it doesn’t sound like they have real problems beyond generalized anxiety disorder (colloquially known as ”the willies” ). Presumably her advice to spend ”months if necessary” looking for just the right mattress and other tenants of ”Energy Psychiatry” (editor’s note: ”energy” remains defined as a measure of an ability to do work) do them no further harm. As for Dr. Orloff’s personal problems, her self-described lonely life of taking a hot bath after going to the gym suggests what she needs if far more physical than psychic. In short, you’re not OK but this collection of questionable advice isn’t going to help that much.

[Zoe · Rating 2 out of 5]

In the beginning I thought the "new age" edge in this book quite interesting. I read on with a healthy sense of scientific skepticism, neither buying it or dismissing it. I thought it interesting that the writer herself claims empathic abilities. Since I know nothing about being an empath, despite my being sensitive, I didn't feel that I was in the position to make arguments for or against the claim. My feeling toward the book was that I found it "interesting" and I thought ah well why not? If she has some special ability and is willing to use it to help her clients/patients, I see no reason why she shouldn't do it.

Once I hit the chapter where she talks about how dreams can be predictive, my level of discomfort raised by ten folds. I am not saying that this is not possible. But it made me feel uncomfortable that we are now in this gray area where intuition and superstition are no longer distinguishable from each other. Then I read on and felt that the writer talks about many grand notions, all of which are close to her heart but seem just a tad hard to relate to.

I believe that there is a being that is larger than life. I am open to the possibility that some things are "magic" and cannot be explained by logic and facts. This book didn't really tell me anything spiritually enlightening. It is filled with a lot of personal experience and personal views of an empath. Few actual action items, a lot of talking about some abstract concepts. I found the book to be "interesting" but not informative or helpful.

[Diane Dreher · Rating 5 out of 5]

A life-changing book! Emotional Freedom is a powerful guide to living in these challenging times. I’ve just finished reading it and given copies to three friends.

Emotional Freedom offers keys to freedom from fear, anxiety, energy drains, and the “quiet desperation” that undermines our joy and vitality. Combining practical advice, inspiration, and heartening companionship, Dr. Orloff helps us understand ourselves on a deeper level, deal effectively with “emotional vampires” who drain our energy, and develop our intuitive wisdom. Combining psychology and spirituality, personal fulfillment and positive action, the book inspires us to live our callings, bringing a deeper sense of meaning and purpose to our lives. By developing our emotional freedom, we can become more fully ourselves, live with greater joy and serenity, explore new possibilities, and reach out to heal this beautiful planet we call home.

[Denise Agnew · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how this book puts together psychology with the spiritual...it falls in with a lot of my belief system. I think if only half the people in this world used her techniques for reducing worry, stress, frustration...you name it, the world would be better off. I highly recommend this book.

[May Ling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this book some time ago and was talking to the person who suggested it. She reminded me that this book and what it had to say and I took a second look.

There are some people where this book will not help. That is why I removed 1 star. I think if you are not open to alternative ways of thinking about religion or you are just starting your journey, this book is a bit too much. If you've done a modest amount of work on yourself already than this book will be the right start.

The issue is something that is actually discussed in the book, but likely won't make sense to the person who is only initially starting the transformation of their life. Emotional Freedom takes a certain initial bravery to liberate from negative emotions and that sort of honesty is just plain hard. I'm not sure what helps people to get over the hump, but I am 100% sure after 3 years and meeting lots of people that are trying to get there, that simply telling someone they can get over the hump won't make them want to. If we are all beings of light, I think that realization is the saddest, i.e. that people imagine and behave as if there are chains around then, but there are really no chains.

I think this book is for those that know their chains are not real and want to understand how to truly destroy those chains from their mind and life. This book will help you understand your chains, different ways of framing the chains, different ways of removing the chains, etc. However, knowing you have chained yourself is an extremely hard and evolved first step, though. For that reason, this book will definitely jar against many people, as most do not want to believe the chains are not real/are self-created, that they are actually fighting themselves. Possibly this is because if you're warring with yourself, it means you have to change, and most people really hate to change.

Anywho, 4 stars from me, but not something I would recommend to everyone.

[Ruth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I checked this book out from my local library when I found they didn't have the book I wanted by the same author. This is one of those self-help books that you find wisdom in but you can't help wrinkling up your nose a little at the slightly self-congratulatory tone the author exudes sometimes at her own brilliant thought. Actually, it's only there a wee 1% of the time, if that, but maybe it's because she seems like such a psychic seer (due to her gifts of intuiting what's inside a person, or just with the snap of her fingers knowing how to turn negative emotions into positive ones) that the reader can't help feeling a bit of frustration. I guess a quick re-read of the chapter on turning frustration into patience is in order, right? Haha... But, all slight snarkiness aside, it's a good read, and I did actually photocopy a few pages (within copyright restrictions via the "fair use" law, naturally!) before turning the book back in, so there is considerable wisdom in a lot of what she says, enough that it will probably serve me well to remember a few of them for future.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I agree with previous reviewers who said (paraphrased)--"Yes, but the point is that someone who is emotionally stuck doesn't know how to do what this author suggests." I did get that vibe from this book more than once and it was one of the reasons it made it to my "didn't finish wall of shame" list.

Yet that doesn't make the content unusable.

The author is a practicing psychiatrist who, from my reading, knows that what she's describing takes time and is a lifelong process.

Sometimes the best value of a book is as a primer. It may not change drastically change my life right away, but as it marinates in the back of my mind...

Maybe that's where all the magic happens anyway--in the background where I don't THINK. (smiles)

If today is mostly better than yesterday, I call that A Win.


PS Added 12/6/2012: The early section on dreaming and especially "how to sleep well," were very well done. She gave sleep a flavor and it is delicious!

[Paula Cappa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a treasure. I've read many books on positive thinking, but Judith Orloff, M.D. brings the reader into a refreshing dimension about the inner self. This is NOT air-fairy stuff. Orloff is an 'energy psychiatrist' and she deeply understands emotions, depression, and anxiety from her medical practice. Her explanations about fear, stress, and intuition are sound and well presented. I like how she advises that "calm is something you must go after; stress comes after you." Certainly puts this into a workable perspective. Her 3-minute technique to release stress and bring in calm is easy; first time I tried this practice, I felt the shift immediately. The chapter on 'emotional vampires' was spot on--Oh my, we all have one of these in our lives. On page 158 she discusses fear, its source, purpose, our reaction and results. Important revelation here is that logic and psychological insights about our fears often fail. I can agree with that for sure. Orloff offers a surprisingly valuable and simple tool to reduce and dispel fears and worry. I found the chapters on depression to be especially helpful. Honestly, what is the purpose of depression besides making us miserable? Orloff finds that depression has deeper insights and intelligence than we might expect. That section alone is worth the price of the book. This is a book to keep on the bookshelf and reread during troubled times. Emotional Freedom is loaded with profound healing wisdom and clear ways to grow emotionally and spiritually.

[Irene · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think that overcoming negativity is hard work. Most people are averse to hard work, and don't have the internal motivation to do it themselves. A few sessions with a good cognitive-behavioral therapist will probably do much more to help than this book will.

When I got to the chapter on dreams, I knew I had to put the book down. First, many people don't remember their dreams. Second, if they do remember them, who is to say they are interpreting them properly?

Finally, third, most psychologists today theorize that dreams are simply a chaotic mosh of all the thoughts and emotions that are streaking across your brain at any given time, and have no "meaning" or significance at all.

If that is so, and I believe it is, why bother reading this chapter, or the rest of the book? I didn't. Gave it 2 stars for the concept of controlling negative emotions and thoughts, which many don't realize they can do.

[Hil · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. It is a self-help book, and doesn't travel any new territory. The survival guide to emotional vampires is pretty good, but this is not a very deep book.

[Kate Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

not too much new but all good stuff. also so hyped to learn about energy psychology/doctors who value intuition in medicine

[Liisi Laineste · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lühidalt, nagu selles vanas indiaani jutus, kus must ja kuri ning valge ja hea koer purelevad - aga võidab see, keda sa toidad. Kannatlikult õpetab autor, kuidas hirmust kasvatada julgus, pettumusest kannatlikkus, üksindusest ühendatud, vihast kaastunne jne. Ja et kõige tähtsam on armastus, ja et kuldne kompass osutab alati südamele.

[Tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read her Second Sight a few years ago and remember being enthusiastic about her list of nine types of energy vampires with specific strategies for dealing with each. This was before the recent spate of books about introverts, and as an introvert I was thrilled with the discovery there was another person who had not only recognized demon energy suckers but had figured out ways to deal with them. Recently someone mentioned this book to me, so I thought, "Why not?"

A disclaimer: I am a doctor of oriental medicine, so when a biomedically trained doctor mentions yin/yang theory she better know what she's talking about or I get a bit squiffy. What Dr. Orloff actually does is throw it in like a cheap means of proving she's delved, whereas it proves the opposite--that she's skimmed the surface of Chinese medicine and should apologize like crazy for venturing out of her scope of practice. The problem with so many medically trained doctors is that because they got the "you are God" speech in their third year of med school, they essentially believe that they are omniscient and reading a couple of articles can make them fully fluent in all other medical systems. Personally, I have nearly 5,000 hours of Chinese medicine study, and *I* still can't adequately describe the nuances in yin/yang theory. Certainly I'd never use it metaphorically. Yin/yang are relative values--that's the deep secret of the taijitsu. So to my way of thinking, Dr. Orloff entered in a pratfall.

Okay, here's chapter one: Doctor Orloff is really excited about her integrated approach; it's so freakin' cool! She's sooooo cool, and Californian. When she was young she was a hippy and slept in her jeans and had psychic visions and then became a psychiatrist and healed people all over the place.

Chapter two begins with a test that not even the Dalai lama could ace. Next, there's a "dummy's guide" to how the brain works ... and about that time I started to nod off and then to skim and then I abandoned ship.

The problem is this: if you have a spiritual life and a daily meditation practice, have spent more than four hours looking into your deepest self, have work-shopped or done any kind of therapy this book is not going to offer you anything new.

I just noticed the date I picked up the book. Just about says it all.

[Alyssa · Rating 1 out of 5]

“Energy doesn’t lie. Keep sensing it, trusting it, letting it liberate you.” Odd book. It talks about knowing what we feel. Trusting it. Then saying something like, “If your mother was anxious or a worrywart, chances are she transmitted some of that to you.” People need to be cautious. Interpretation of our works is based off of our own reality. May not be accurate. Not sure how much this is stressed.
Later us talked about interpreting your own dreams.if you go to bed ready than your mind will be “”becoming freer tonight,” then you prompt your brain to have liberating discoveries.” She tries to help with common interpretations but that seems stretched.
Emotional types are discussed. Found that interesting. Discusses how a person is based on how they are emotionally (empathetic, a rock..). Spent a lot of time in emotional vampires too.
Steps to a healthy mindset wasn’t bad. Practical. Relatable.

[Sue Rowland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Orloff's first book Second Sight and loved it. Emotional Freedom is a great guide to understanding yourself and others. Our emotions, challenges, entanglements with people and their emotions and behaviors are all covered in the 376 pages. Orloff is an M.D. and practicing Southern California Energy Psychiatrist. She's also psychic.

Think you understand the nature of anger, fear, insecurity, stress or even the green monster of jealousy? Afraid to go there? Not me. Use the action steps she provides. One intensely helpful section is "You Are Not Your Parents: Learn From Their Assets and Shortcomings." As a memoir writer with a background in psychology and art, I spot read this book often while working on my story. Tons to learn.

[Gretchn_red · Rating 1 out of 5]

So, if you have a disturbing emotion, breathe, and start meditating. If you can’t sleep, get a good mattress and some nice sheets and try progressive relaxation.

Nothing new here except perhaps the predictive dream stuff and how the author can read energies and is very intuitive and can predict shit. Not sure how that helps me...

This was a mish mash of spiritual nonsense with sprinkling of science and a shout out of recognition to all the sensitive ones out there the world just doesn’t understand. Hard pass for me.

[Stephanie Kreiner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. Judith covers many, many helpful areas skillfully through medical, spiritual and intuitive perspectives. And she also reveals a lot of personal information which helps to understand things like anger and fear.
The audio is about 15 hrs. but well worth the time. Kirsten Potter does a fabulous job reading the book. Her voice sounds like what I imagine Judith's to be. I plan to get the book so I can highlight or write up the gems which are found throughout the book.

[Isaac · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found very helpful explanation to why I have certain feelings or why I feel in some way.
Not everything mentioned was as helpful as I expected, also I found the author talks about herself as if she wrote the book to vent out.
Too many unnecessary stories about her life killed the enjoyment of reading this book

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stopped completely around the 4th chapter after skipping paragraphs including suggestions such as ‘blow a kiss to the moon to aid in remembering your dreams’. 🙄 I like the general idea she’s aiming for, but it all seemed to be geared toward a “Eat Pray Love” type of group.
The Savvy Psychologist podcast discusses emotional control among other topics, and is 100% more practical and enjoyable.

[Zell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've gained some helpful insights from this book. I even wrote down significant points so that I can reflect upon them later. This book is perfect for those who are aware of how their emotions are doing and realize the need for change in their emotional aspect.

[Sarah]

I didn't feel like following her program and lost interest.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good insights, clearly written, easy to read.

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to the audio book (highly recommended btw). Good practical advice on how to limit negative emotions from others and from yourself. Good follow up to "mindset".

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the simple straightforward way she writes, with humor and science. Love this one.

[Jan Ankerstjerne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book changed my life. Highly recommended.

[Jessica McClure · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was the first time I could really relate to a book about positive thinking. Definitely one I will refer to often.

[L.L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Książkę bardzo chciałem przeczytać, już nawet nie pamiętam dlaczego tak bardzo (chyba była szczególnie polecana na te resztki problemów które miałem ;) ), a może przeczytałem o niej w "Modzie na zdrowie" bo był tam cykl wywiadów z autorką (i te wywiady były bardzo dobre). Ale kupiłem ją już dosyć dawno i tak leżała, leżała... (bo czytanie książek papierowych jest teraz dla mnie dość problematyczne ;) ) w końcu wziąłem się za nią i... szczerze mówiąc to nie było jakoś "wow". Może to wynika z tego, że jak czytam o czymś to myślę sobie: "tak robię", "tak też", "niee, z tym już nie mam problemów" - to jest w sumie bardzo dobry znak że naprawdę wielu z tych problemów już nie mam, a jeśli któreś mam, to już bez pomocy umiem zastosować rady psychologiczne, czyli opłacało się czytać o nich wielokrotnie ;) Tak więc mnie osobiście przeczytanie jej już raczej nic nie dało, co nie znaczy że ją źle oceniam. Autorka jest "energopsychiatrą" co znaczy że dużo się skupia też na odczuciach, intuicji, może nawet duchowości... a jednocześnie jest z wykształcenia psychiatrą, więc nie ma tu nic, co by w jakiś sposób podważało medycynę (nawet jeśli pisze o czerpaniu inspiracji ze snów, to robi to w taki wyważony sposób, że nic tu nie może zaszkodzić). Jeśli więc ktoś chce skorzystać z rad psychologicznych, a jednocześnie przywiązuje dużą wagę do swojego "świata duchowego", to będzie to idealna książka dla niego :) (dla mnie chyba odrobinę za dużo intuicji, a za mało "suchej" medycyny :P ale tylko odrobinę ;) ).

Jak zwykle cytaty:

"Sztuka komunikowania się polega na wypowiadaniu się z czułością i bez osądów. Impulsywna werbalizacja wszystkich uczuć, jakich doświadczamy, nie ma sensu. Jeśli chcemy coś wyrazić, powiedzmy o tym spokojnie."
(s.59)


"Czy zastanawiałeś się kiedyś, czego ludzie boją się najczęściej? Z badań statystycznych wynika, że listę strachów otwiera publiczne przemawianie. Dla wielu ludzi konieczność wystąpienia przed publicznością jest bardziej przerażająca niż śmierć, choć ta znajduje się na niezbyt dalekim drugim miejscu. Satyryk Jerry Seinfeld powiedział kiedyś, że większość z nas wolałaby leżeć w trumnie niż wygłaszać mowę pogrzebową."
(s.181)

:D :D

"Załóżmy, że po drodze do pracy łapiesz gumę, przez co omija cię bardzo ważne spotkanie. Masz pełne prawo być sfrustrowany. Opowiedz o tej sytuacji koledze, a potem odetnij się od niej, przestań o niej myśleć - nie pozwól, aby kształtowała ona twoje samopoczucie przez resztę dnia. Oczywiście możesz przez cały dzień mielić w głowie te przykre uczucia, tylko po co? Skoncentruj się lepiej na przezabawnym dowcipie opowiedzianym przez kolegę lub na zupełnie udanych popołudniowych spotkaniach. Doskonałość w sferze emocjonalnej jest pochodną konsekwentnego decydowania się na szczęście."
(s.221)


"Przebywanie na słońcu poprawia nastrój, gdyż stymuluje mózg do wydzielania serotoniny."
(s.306)

- już wiem dlaczego tak bardzo lubię latem leżeć na plaży i wydaje mi się to szczytem szczęścia ;)

"Trwanie w gniewie przypomina chwytanie w dłonie rozżarzonego węgla z zamiarem rzucenia nim w kogoś. Tak czy owak to ty się tym węglem poparzysz.
- Budda"
(s. 365)


"Aby poćwiczyć nieco zdolność przebaczenia, zastanów się nad następującą kwestią: ludzie wnoszą do swoich związków życiowy bagaż krzywd, co może powodować, że w swoich zachowaniach koncentrują się raczej na sobie niż na tobie. (...) Najczęściej ludzie zachowują się najlepiej, jak potrafią - z pewnością nie bardzo cię to pociesza, ale taka jest smutna prawda. Jeżeli pogodzisz się z realnymi ograniczeniami drugiej osoby, łatwiej ci będzie jej wybaczyć."
(s.380)


"Zgadza się, żona porzuciła cię dla swojego instruktora jogi. Tak, twój chytry współpracownik wbił ci nóż w plecy. (...) Powinieneś również pamiętać, że najlepszą formą zemsty jest twój sukces, twoje szczęście, triumf polegający na tym, że nie pozwoliłeś mściwym ludziom pozbawić się wewnętrznego spokoju."
(s.382)

- a to chyba jakoś zawsze wyczuwałem. Tzn. najbardziej chyba żenujące wydawało mi się zawsze urządzanie awantury kochankowi/kochance żony/męża... no bo jakby... mam jeszcze okazywać że mi zależało?! :D W ogóle się nie opłaca reagować (na inne sytuacje też nie), tylko tak jak powiedziane - pracować dalej nad SWOIM szczęściem :)

"Odpuść sobie. Czasami po prostu nie warto zaprzątać sobie głowy osobami, które naruszają naszą sferę osobistą. Dotyczy to szczególnie tych ludzi, których nigdy więcej już nie spotkasz - może to być kobieta z kolejki do odprawy lotniskowej, która nieustannie o czymś opowiada, albo mężczyzna, który zajął twoje miejsce parkingowe. Pewien niezwykle spokojny przyjaciel powiedział mi kiedyś: "Już nikt nie zajeżdża mi drogi w korku, bo sam wszystkich wpuszczam." Wykazując tego rodzaju postawę, odnosisz największe możliwe zwycięstwo, a mianowicie zachowujesz spokój. Skoncentruj się na czymś pozytywnym i spokojnie żyj dalej."
(s.392-393)

(czytana: 27.03-21.04.2022)
4/5