Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People: Using Emotional Intelligence to Survive and Prosper

by Roy H. Lubit

Many managers engage in destructive behavior that does considerable harm to their subordinates, their organization and eventually themselves. Whether they are narcissistic, unethical, rigid or aggressive, or simply depressed/anxious/burned out, working with them can be a nightmare. Moreover, they can do serious damage to their organizations by diverting energy from productive work, damaging cooperation and knowledge sharing, impairing retention of the best people, weakening morale, and making poor business decisions. In Coping with Toxic Managers, psychiatrist and organizational consultant Dr. Roy Lubit shows you how to develop your emotional intelligence and protect yourself and your organization from the destructive impact of toxic managers. While there are many organizational consultants who utilize psychological insights in their work and psychologists who consult to organizations, Dr. Lubit's depth of training and experience in psychiatry, organizational behavior and organizational consulting provides a basis for unique insights

Genres: Business, Management, Self Help, Psychology

400 pages, Paperback

First published November 17, 2003

Reviews

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are a lot of books out there about dealing with toxic people. Most of them focus on trying to see things from the other person's perspective or dealing with your own reactions. All of those are very useful to learn but this book takes it from a very different angle. You learn about narcissist, people with anger issues and paranoid people to name a few, as well as all the various permutations they can take on. Then you learn what will and won't work definitively. Many of the techniques you learn in other difficult people books will not work with these types of people. It also teaches you how to not get drawn into thinking it has something to do with you and concrete steps you can take to minimize the impact of these people. In short the best book I have ever read on the topic. I will be getting my own copy as I see it as a must-have for anyone who works.

[Scott Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As young people leave the classroom and enter the workplace, they are immediately struck by how central dealing with people issues becomes. Even the most technically gifted employee has to deal with others’ innumerable quirks. Then, when someone enters management, they may have power, but their job is based on motivating subordinates to produce. Yet few of us have academic expertise in dealing with people. Roy Lubit does. He holds an MD in psychiatry, which includes time at Yale, one of the best American training grounds for psychiatry. And he holds a PhD in organizational leadership from Harvard, also a preeminent program. As a consultant, he’s coached countless companies through thorny people issues. He combines that knowledge here to educate the future – workers like you and me – in how to improve how we deal with difficult people… and ourselves.

If I had to explain this book, I’d say simply that it’s a clear conceptual combination of psychiatry and organizational leadership. It’s also filled with practical examples, born from professional experiences, that bring the concepts to life. Like an accessible textbook, this comprehensive guide chooses to focus on all topics instead of one in depth. Although the book is over twenty years old, its ideas remain current. Notably, it does not cover autism in detail, a condition that has recently increased in known prevalence. Besides that omission, this book’s techniques have stayed reliable.

After introducing his psychological approach, Lubit divides this vast subject into several categories: Narcissistic managers, unethical managers, aggressive managers, rigid managers, impaired managers, and how to develop personal emotional intelligence. He aims to increase readers’ understanding, compassion, and coping skills. He recognizes the stark reality that not every relationship between a manager and a direct report will work out. Nonetheless, he provides penetrating insights that enhance readers’ skills.

Instead of taking an academic approach, this book’s cover markets itself to workers dealing with people problems firsthand. As a trending topic, the words “toxic management” will draw in many readers like me. However, it importantly teaches us not only how to cope but also how to make our own personal style less toxic. Those looking to improve themselves, not fix another person – as if that’s possible – will find a gold mine here. In today’s world, all problems have a people component, and this book equips us to handle that angle more efficiently and effectively.

[mellyana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Come handy. Easy to read, useful tips and hints. Recommended to understand certain type of people at work and this can lead to have a better work arrangement.

[Lynne Curry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book and have recommended it to others. I've also recommended to an attorney friend that he engage Mr. Lubit as an expert witness.