A Lighter Shade of Gray

by Devon Pearse

What does it feel like to stare into the face of madness? Or to anticipate your own? Would you drive away your only love? Could you pretend it didn't matter? How far would you go to protect a friend, or to avenge a death?

Ten years ago, Devon gave up the love of her life, fearing she would one day fall victim to the mental illness that has slowly ravaged the mind of her mother, who is now being cared for in a private facility. Just when it seems Devon might have a chance to make up for past mistakes, her best friend Cass becomes a suspect in the murder of her sister's drug-dealing boyfriend.

Devon knows Cass is lying about the details of her involvement and the lead detective on the case, convinced that Cass is guilty, is relentless in his pursuit of justice.

When her mother's young, emotionally disturbed roommate insinuates she knows something about the night of the murder, as well as details from Devon's own life that no one else is privy to, Devon becomes desperate to uncover the truth before Detective Lake does. As the investigation continues, Devon is led down a path she never expected and forced to face her greatest fears of life and love.

Tangled in a web of lies, regrets and questions, can she find a way to let go of the past and start again? And, once the mystery is solved, can she live with the secrets she's uncovered?

Join author Devon Pearse in this semi-autobiographical journey through the most heartbreakingly beautiful and deceptively mysterious events of her own life and the lives of those closest to her.

Genres: Fiction, Mystery, Thriller, Mental Illness

456 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2010

About the author

Devon Pearse was born and raised in beautiful St. Augustine, Florida. As a child, she was surrounded by classic literary works and grew to love and cherish them as dear old friends. It was only natural that she would dream of one day being an author and joining the ranks of the creators of these other worlds, unforgettable characters and thought provoking prose.

Devon's writing has been described as "Deeply moving and exquisitely lyrical" and she strives to draw her readers into her often heartbreaking and emotionally charged world. A Lighter Shade of Gray, which is set in her hometown of St. Augustine, Florida, is semi-autobiographical, written in the first person with the author herself as the protagonist. Drawing from events that not only altered her own life, but the lives of those closest to her, including the tragic death of a childhood friend, Devon weaves a masterful tale full of mystery, romance and the truth of living deliberately.

Reviews

[Elizabeth of Silver's Reviews]

This isn't the book you think it is. :) This book is a good lesson about life. It is about Devon Pearse's life....a life filled with sorrow and regret and a mother who began to develop mental illness when Devon was around twelve, but also a life with a loving father. Devon constantly was concerned about developing the same illness her mother suffered from.

The book takes you through her childhood - through love and tragedy - and moves to the present with Devon as an adult and with her continuing problems and problems of friends with secrets.

The author is quite clever in her writing style and insinuations...she aligns the "shades of gray" with how a mental illness fades a person just as a photo fades. She used colors as the comparison of moods and stages of reality to explain how colors indicated where Devon's mother was in terms of reality. Pearse is an outstanding writer...very eloquent and interesting. She makes very profound statements about life and about the choices we make about our life's dreams….dreams that we either "murder" or fulfill. She does this in a very interesting way and with very appealing characters.

It takes a while to get to the gist of the story, but once you arrive, you will enjoy the book's purpose and plot. Ms. Pearse takes you on an emotional ride that includes love, lies, mystery, secrets, murder, and dealing with mental illness. You will become attached to Devon and to her emotions as she deals with and reacts to them in the right or wrong way but in a way only she knows how to deal with.

The beginning of the book gave background information on her family, and it was all weaved into the very absorbing tale that unfolded. Some of the book isn't pleasant, but you will learn about mental illness and also about life in general...you may even learn some things that could help you in your personal life. A LIGHTER SHADE OF GRAY is about family, friendship, and decision-making along with a creative murder plot. It is a book that I would deem thought provoking.

I enjoyed the book even though it took a few pages to become intriguing.…but it is definitely worth the wait....it is a captivating, unique novel. My rating is 4/5.

[Susan (The Book Bag)]

This book has a lot going on. Let's see, there's a failed romance, a mother's mental illness and the fear that it could happen to the daughter, another mental patient that seems to be taking the daughter's place in the mother's mind, a best friend suspected of murder, and a detective who just won't give up until he has all the answers.

And these are just the main characters and story lines. Sound confusing? It's really not. The author does a fantastic job of weaving the stories and subplots together and creates a very intriguing story.

At the center of the whole book is Devon, (semi-autobiographical, it seems) a very likable, caring person who has a great best friend, Cass. When Cass runs into some trouble, Devon is there for her, but at what cost? Devon sets out to do what she can to prove that Cass is innocent, even if there is some doubt that she really is.

And Devon is also worried about her mother and the mental illness that has taken her away from the family. She misses her mom greatly and is terrified that the same thing is going to happen to her, so much so that she pushes the love of her life away. Will they ever be reunited?

I loved the parts of the book when Devon and her mother communicated using colors. As her mom's mind was slipping, she and Devon could connect with each other by talking about the colors.

'Gray was the only color you had to watch out for. Gray was lonely emptiness. Gray could make her cry.'

'I know, my sweetheart. But it won't always be, at least not for you. It might take a long time, but it will gradually get lighter, You'll fight your way through all the gray until you find the blue again. And then it will be so beautiful, like the dawn breaking after a storm. Just know that wherever I am, I love you my Lillibet. I'll always love you, even in the gray.'

... 'I'll always love you, even in the gray.' Isn't that an awesome line? There is so much about this book that's great! Reading it was a beautiful way to spend my weekend. I understand that Devon is currently working on her second novel, The Untrodden Ways, due to be published in 2012. I will be watching for that one to come out.

[Monte Dutton]

Devon Pearse doesn't pull her punches, tip off her pitches or telegraph her passes. A Lighter Shade of Gray is a passionate tale, and it mischievously leads the reader to assumptions that don't wind up panning out. Yet all is completely plausible, which, to these eyes, is this first-time novel's signature charm. The reader finds himself thinking "ah, so that's it" as "Gray" winds its way into his heart.
As the main character shares the author's name, this novel is partly autobiographical. It's equal parts love story, rite of passage and intriguing whodunit.
Set in St. Augustine, Fla., Pearse weaves a tale of love lost, mystery, murder, neurosis, psychosis and lingering self-doubt.
I liked it from the opening page and loved it by the time I was through.

[Tammy]

What an AMAZING debut! A Lighter shade of Gray tells the story of the author, Devon Pearse. It is an emotional, thought provoking and a riveting tale! I read it almost a month ago and I still can't stop thinking about it. It touched me in so many ways... Definitely one of my top 10 favorites! I am looking forward to reading more from Pearse in the future.

[Sydney Bollinger]

I initially decided to read this book because it is eligible for the Kindle Readers' Lending Library. I believed it would be a so-so story of a woman trying to find her way in life. I was wrong. "A Lighter Shade of Gray" by Devon Pearse was brilliant. It took you on an emotional whirlwind as the narrator told you about her love for her next-door neighbor's nephew, her mother illness, her best friend's run-in with the law, and her trying to find her way in the world. At times I found myself crying out of sadness and smiling for joy. Although it is a bit long, there is no slow parts in the book and I wanted to devour every word the author wrote. I would suggest this book to anyone and everyone. This is the best book I have read in at least a year, and considering the amount of books I read, that's saying something.

[Joe Font]

I was completely blown away by the fine writing and plot of this beautiful novel.
By far, one of the best literary fiction novels I've ever had the pleasure of reading.
Devon Pearse is an unknown author now, but that will not be the case for long.

[Jael]

Mental illness. Friendship. Love. Murder. I like those elements...in books. A Lighter Shade of Gray by Devon Pearse has all three. And it's semi-autobiographical, which is why our main character is also named Devon. Throughout the book, I was wondering what was fact and what was fiction?

Devon gave up on love 10 years ago. Her mother has long battled mental illness, and Devon will do anything to avoid that path. I thought she sacrificed her own happiness out of fear. Yes mental illness is inherited, but I'm not a firm believer in acting on what might happen. Rather than take a chance on happiness and love, Devon is just waiting for the shoe to drop. Not everything is gloomy for Devon, she has a close group of friends, including her best friend Cassandra (a.k.a. Cass) Sloane.

At times, Devon and Cass seemed more like family than friends. In the beginning, Devon attends a birthday party with Cass' family. She just seemed like another member of the family. They were quick to point out Devon's lack of cooking skills. She's included on the family banter. There is no hiding problems in the family from Devon, especially, Marcus, the abusive boyfriend of Cass' sister Monique. That part really grabbed my attention. The rest of the Sloane family is ready to pounce on him at any moment, but Monique is too afraid to stand up for herself. I was right there with the rest of the family. "Hit him! Hit him! Hit him!" Character-wise it was no big loss when he was murdered. Not that I'm an advocate of murder, but there is just no attachment to abusive characters. There was an attachment to Cass, who is accused of his murder. Devon wants anything to prove her friend's innocence, but it forces her to face her fears. Her fear of ending up like her mother.

In theory, all of that made for a good plot. But as the book progressed I got a little confused. Her mother's roommate claims to know something about Marcus' murder. I just thought, why even go there? There's too much going here. Devon's fears of mental illness alone could have been enough. Adding Cass and her family to the mix makes things a little more complicated, and then you add her mother's roommate. It was also a little long for my taste. It's not a bad book, but it just wasn't my cup of tea.

Rating: Give it a try


Note: I received an e-copy as part of a tour with TLC Book Tours

[Lana]

Amazing--This book has it all. Love-humor-life-madness-murder-reality written with exceptional detail. Once you start reading you don't want to put it down-- and it is a long book-but you will want it to go on forever-- always wanting more.

[Marilyn]

I loved the color imagery, and the journey of the daughter of a psychotic woman who wonders if that is in her future, and whose life choices drastically change because of that fear!

[Julie]

I'm loving it!

[Cathy Jo]

Happy Endings!

The one thing about fictional books is the fact that the author can end them anyway he or she wants! My feelings are that real life is hard enough so why not end books the way your readers would want them to end. Books are meant to entertain not depress you. When the last page of the book has closed, may the reader delight in the memories, for a long time to come, the story has placed on their hearts!

[Kim Bush]

I was absorbed with this read about mental health issues, lost love, abuse, murder & starting over.

[Susan (The Book Bag)]

This book has a lot going on. Let's see, there's a failed romance, a mother's mental illness and the fear that it could happen to the daughter, another mental patient that seems to be taking the daughter's place in the mother's mind, a best friend suspected of murder, and a detective who just won't give up until he has all the answers.

And these are just the main characters and story lines. Sound confusing? It's really not. The author does a fantastic job of weaving the stories and subplots together and creates a very intriguing story.

At the center of the whole book is Devon, (semi-autobiographical, it seems) a very likable, caring person who has a great best friend, Cass. When Cass runs into some trouble, Devon is there for her, but at what cost? Devon sets out to do what she can to prove that Cass is innocent, even if there is some doubt that she really is.

And Devon is also worried about her mother and the mental illness that has taken her away from the family. She misses her mom greatly and is terrified that the same thing is going to happen to her, so much so that she pushes the love of her life away. Will they ever be reunited?

I loved the parts of the book when Devon and her mother communicated using colors. As her mom's mind was slipping, she and Devon could connect with each other by talking about the colors.

'Gray was the only color you had to watch out for. Gray was lonely emptiness. Gray could make her cry.'

'I know, my sweetheart. But it won't always be, at least not for you. It might take a long time, but it will gradually get lighter, You'll fight your way through all the gray until you find the blue again. And then it will be so beautiful, like the dawn breaking after a storm. Just know that wherever I am, I love you my Lillibet. I'll always love you, even in the gray.'

... 'I'll always love you, even in the gray.' Isn't that an awesome line? There is so much about this book that's great! Reading it was a beautiful way to spend my weekend. I understand that Devon is currently working on her second novel, The Untrodden Ways, due to be published in 2012. I will be watching for that one to come out.

[Sandie]

Devon is caught in the past. A past before her mother slipped away into the gray mists of mental illness that has kept her hospitalized for over a decade. A past where three little girls ran and laughed and played, before one of them was killed before her sixteenth birthday. A past where Drew was always there waiting for her; the love she'd always imagined.

But the past's tendrils can't stand up to the forces of the present. The present where Devon has lived for over a decade without Drew, who she sent away due to her fear of ending up like her mother. Now things are breaking and changing and Devon must adjust.

For one thing, Drew is back in town. Can Devon and Drew pick up where they left off, or is their love forever in the past? Next, her mother shows signs of emerging from her illness, but is this because of the teenage girl who is now her roommate and who seems determined to take Devon's place in her mother's life? Finally, the abusive boyfriend of her best friend's sister has been brutally murdered, and suspicion falls on Cass, Devon's best friend. Can Cass untangle the mystery and save everyone's life?

Devon Pearse has written a haunting novel, although the fact that her main character is also named Devon Pearse may be confusing at first to the reader. She has created characters that seem strong one minute, then shadowy the next, echoing the way mental illness recedes and then reconquers the sick mind. The values of love, friendship and family are strong propellers of the action, and the reader will want to finish to find out what happens to the people met between the pages. This book is recommended for readers of family relationship novels and those interested in characters who grow within the confines of a book.

[Jaspreet]

I was intrigued when I read the description of a Lighter Shade of Grey by Devon Pearse and excited to be part of her book tour. The novel could actually be broken up into several stories. I enjoyed being swept up into the inner workings of the main character. However, I was frequently confused and had to stop several times to regroup and figure out where I was in relation to all of the stories that were unfolding. I know that the narrator was the connection between all the stories, but at several points I felt like things could have been edited to make the book more succinct.

In spite of these issues, I did enjoy the book. I especially liked the Cass story line. The friendship between Cass and Devon was fun to read. The relationship of Devon and her parents was also page turning. I imagine that it must be hard to experience a loved one having a mental breakdown. The attempts of the narrator and her father to hide her mother's illness and keep things as normal as possible was heart wrenching. As more stories of mental illness are shared, I hope that the stigma decreases.

On the back cover and in the author note, Devon Pearse mentions that the story is semi-autobiographical. As I was reading, I kept wondering how she made the disctinction. With a story so personal and intense, I imagine that it would be hard to know where to draw the boundaries.

[Al]

Characterized in the official descriptions as “semi-autobiographical,” I’ll leave it to you to decide which parts are true and which aren’t (your guess is as good as mine). I’ll often find that books I or someone else describes as “literary fiction,” like this one, show deftness with language (which this does), but have a story that isn’t that entertaining or that I care about. I’ll take a good mystery, thriller, or other genre fiction that uses plain language to tell a compelling story over much literary fiction. A Lighter Shade of Gray (which I believe beat those other gray books into publication and shouldn’t be confused with them) has beautiful language and a story I could care about.

Devon Pearse (yes, the protagonist and author’s names are the same) has a mother whose mental illnesses eventually lead her to a rural group home and leave Devon afraid for the future. Are the causes genetic? Devon is fearful that she’s seeing a glimpse of her future and is unwilling to commit to her boyfriend, or even allow him to commit to her. In fact, Devon goes through much of life making decisions influenced by what might happen. There is some mystery and potential romance to liven up the story as well. It was a story that drew me in slowly, but once it got a hold of me, it wouldn’t let go.

**Originally written for "Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy. **

[Ira Therebel]

Lots of story lines in the life of the main character come together to make us get to know her better and wanting to get to know some of the answers.

The book is a roller coaster. Meaning that there are parts which were boring and then the ones that made me want to keep reading. Actually it really became interesting about halfway into the book. This is where are started to really like it, but due to it dragging so long in the beginning it can't be more than 3 stars.Of course the beginning was necessary as it gave us many important details, but maybe it culd have been written in a more interesting way or shorter.

I really liked the story about her friendship with Cass. Their relationship is the most realistic in the book. The story that comes out of it isn't too realistic but is the one that kept me wanting to finish and see how it ends. The story about her mother was also not bad. It has the interesting point of mental health in it and added a lot to Devon's personality and how she sees life. The story with Drew is the one that was a bit too boring. Yet it was an important part and surprisingly this was the ending that I liked the most as it seemed to be so close to real life. The emotions here were perfectly portrayed in this book.

[Logan Carter]

Emotionally charged page turner. Keeps you thinking. Contains a variety of elements, from romance and mystery, to mental illness and murder. A book in which most readers would find something to enjoy, no matter the genre they prefer. Great first offering from Ms. Pearse.

I received this book free through Goodreads. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. (I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”)

[Mammavark]

It took me a little while to get used to the style, but quite liked it- i also liked the quirky characters in the book, and even coped with devons decisions decision to drive her obviously perfect lover away, at least it was not a soppy lovestory, and the dilemma's are so real. What then proceeded to ruin the book, is the way the chracters solve the problem they find themselfs in, and the solution that turned into the ending was unbelievably constructed, it really undid all the good work of the first 2/3 of the book. Pity!

[Lela]

Really I loved this book! It is well-written with such a beautiful use of language. Some of the descriptive phrases make you certain you can see, feel, smell whatever the words say. The main character, Dev, cries several oceans but is quick & witty when her eyes are dry. And, I confess, there were tears on this face from time to time. The characters are well developed and interesting. And there are a few twists and turns and some clever writing. Good editing & proofing. I enjoyed it!

[Kristin (Kritters Ramblings)]

Check out the full review at Kritters Ramblings

A Lighter Shade of Gray is a dramatic book that while the cast of characters was numbered, the plots were cumbersome. It is easy for the reader to fall in love with these characters fast, but while there were a few too many major plots going at the same time, I was also discouraged to see the story really pick up when it was almost halfway over.

[Kathy]

I agree with several other readers. A very well written book - 1st or otherwise. Yes there are several threads to follow, and at the same time they are all interwoven beautifully. The characters feel real and it is lovely to learn at the end that some of the author's own experiences are part of this.

Definitely some life lessons to learn!

[Ed Scott]

Sorry to say that I read about half of the book and had to stop. I expected the book to be a murder mystery, but as of the middle, there wasn't anything about a murder. More of the author's story rather than what the book intro led me to believe. I know it was semi-autobiographical but was expecting more of a mystery plot line.

[Lynda Kelly]

This wasn't for me. It was all too descriptive for my liking. I prefer a fiction book to be easier reading and broken up a bit more with dialogue. I'd only got a few pages in and clicked forward a little and it was pages and pages not really broken up so I had to pack it in. However, although too wordy for me the words ARE properly written which is more than can be said for a lot of e-books !!

[Whitney]

This book had no flow - there were too many things going on at once, a couple of which I felt were unresolved in the end or had nothing to do with any other element of the story. I couldn't wait for it to be over. Definitely not something I would recommend.

[Cary Polkovitz]

A beautifully written and utterly addictive book. I devoured its 460 pages in a few short days. The characters are engaging and completely realized. It is an incredibly personal reading experience told with a feeling of emotional honesty. I was captivated.

[Kathy]

very good read

When I first started reading I thought to myself I wasn't going to like this book. The writing was so good though I kept reading and it became a book I couldn't wait to get home to continue reading.

[Wendy]

This book is good but somewhat predictable. Couldn't wait for the end but still couldn't put it down either.

[Carrie]

This had more promise than I felt it delivered. And I generally prefer a happier ending.

[Val Wilkerson]

Great job on your first book Devon!!
I will watch for your next.
This is a story about family, friendship, first love...