When a Hollywood location scout comes to Applewood, Long Island, and announces that the local elementary school might make the perfect backdrop for an upcoming George Clooney movie, the PTA's decorum crumbles like a cookie from last week's bake sale.
Enter Maddie, Ruth, and Lisa, three women who become the glue that holds the project together, forging a bond of friendship stronger than anyone could imagine. And not a moment too soon, as marriage woes, old flames, and scandalously embarrassing family members threaten to tear each of them apart. Is their powerful alliance strong enough to overcome the obstacles to getting the movie made in their town? And will their friendship be enough to mend their hearts and homes? Join them as they reach for the stars . . . and try to pull off a Hollywood ending of their own.
At once tender and hilarious, Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA is a captivating story that turns suburbia upside down . . . with more humor, heartache, and heat than one PTA can hold.
Thank you for visiting my Goodreads page. I'm proud to announce that my newest novel, JOYRIDE, was selected by Zibby Owens as one of the most anticipated books of 2025. DIVORCE TOWERS, which was featured in People Magazine, won an award for Best Escapist Novel, and was selected for Zibby's Ultimate Summer Reading List as well as Newsday's Summer Reads. My other books include TAKE MY HUSBAND which received a starred review from Booklist, THE ROOFTOP PARTY, which was called "wickedly entertaining" by BookReporter and was selected by Long Island Woman Magazine as Summer Pick of the year, as well as LOVE SOLD SEPARATELY, DOROTHY PARKER DRANK HERE, FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER, THE OTHER LIFE, THE SMART ONE, and SECRET CONFESSIONS OF THE APPLEWOOD PTA. In addition to being a novelist, I'm an editor, screenwriter, book coach, creative writing instructor, and ghostwriter. For more information visit ellenmeister.com.
What you notice first and foremost about Ellen Meister's debut novel is how humane she is as a writer. The women she writes about are real--they are not caricatures, they are not stereotypes. Instead they fall down, they embarrass themselves, they lose control. They lust, they fight, they envy, they are jealous. They are passionate, they are smart, they love. Basically, they are human.
And in that, we love them and we root for them. And when the book is at its end, we have a hard time letting them go.
Hard for me to say which of the three main characters is my favorite: is it the brilliant Maddie, who loses some of her self-esteem over the years when she believes that her marriage is broken beyond repair? Or is it quiet and unassuming Lisa, who seethes beneath the surface after a lifetime of taking care of her selfish mother? Or is it Ruth, who lost not only her husband but also the better part of herself after his stroke?
The truth is, they are all my favorites.
I cheered when Maddie realized that her marriage was only wounded from a bit of overuse, and when Lisa realized that she is her own best mother, and when Ruth regained the love of herself and all of the glories she has to offer the world. I cheered because I felt genuine affection for all of these women. I cherished their success and felt comforted by their friendship.
But don't let the serious tone of this reader fool you. What you should know is that this book is also funny. Indeed, there are times when you will laugh out loud and shake your head in wonder at Meister's impeccable sense of timing (not to mention her eye for physical humor).
In short, the book's a gem. And no less a gem is the audio companion--Lisa Kudrow reads with an exceptional ear for character, comedy, and good storytelling. In fact, I can't think of a better reader for the book. My favorite characterization of hers would have to be when she took on Ruth. The voice was exactly as I had heard Ruth in my head.
And so the bringing together of Meister's words and Kudrow's reading means some classic entertainment. You won't want to miss out.
Buy the book, buy the audio. Let yourself be wooed and wowed.
OK...it may be a complete indulgence that I give this book 5 stars, but it was thoroughly entertaining. The characters are equally flawed, inspiring, and hilarious.
This book had me laughing out loud at some points, crying at others. I loved some characters and hated others, but I think that everyone recognizes someone they know in them. This book was like a breath of fresh air for me to read. The ending is a mixture of sadness, and happily ever after, sort of like real life. Because of this type of ending, it isn't typical chic lit.
This book was total trash. It was an embarrassment to women! Seriously it treated women like we are no more than dogs in heat, unable to control any passion. I was very disappointed.
I picked this up at the library, looking for a fun chick-lit to quickly read that would give me a good time. This had all the workings of just that sort of book... but it fell a bit flat. There were inconsistencies between how the main characters were introduced to us and how they really were. I liked our 3 main women (Maddie, Lisa, and Ruth) overall, and I liked that they seem pretty real in that they are "regular", flawed individuals. However, why didn't we get more story on Beryl? And Ruth was introduced as if we weren't supposed to like her because she was flashy and obnoxious. And Lisa seemed too frumpy and timid at first for us to really relate to her. Anyway, I love a story that shows women in their friendships and how well they support each other, but everything was just too abrupt. It was all, "Oh no, I don't want to be on the committee with Ruth. Now she's my BEST. FRIEND." It was weird. Also... waaaaay too much emphasis on sex, waaaaaay too many graphic sex scenes, and waaaaaaaay too many F words.
This was a pretty terrible book. I listened to it on CD or I never would have made it as far as I did. It wasn't just a fluffy beach read, it was downright pointless. Every other chapter was a completely graphic sex scene of someone cheating on their spouse. And the moral of the story? Your husband has a stroke and can't move? Cheat on him! Your lover disses you? Cheat on him too! Scream at the girl he ends up getting engaged too! Make a giant mess of your life and drive drunk and treat people horridly and everything will end up great. Your family will love you. Your friends will support you. Every wild dream you have will come true.
After hearing much praise, I picked up Meister's debut novel. I must say I was not disappointed. I thought the book was well paced, carefully crafted, and excellently delivered.
The book has a lot of heart, makes you feel for its characters and a little sad when it is over. However, I would recommend this to anyone. I found it to be a quick and enjoyable read.
Silly, stupid and predictable. Trots out every tired cliche -- alcoholism, affairs, strokes, cancer, sexual dysfunction, sexual identity, suburban skulduggery, and George Clooney. Actually, that list is more interesting than the book -- trust me. Don't waste time or brain cells on this sorry mess.
Cute book overall. A lot of romances outside of marriage (sort of). Made it interesting. Keith was a hoot. Nancy was as well as the drunken mother who never took care of Lisa, but ended up saving her twin boys in the house next door when it erupted in flames after the boys turned on the stove. Maddie ended up staying with her husband and they fell back in love.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This was so stupid. I surprised myself by actually finishing it. A group of insipid, PTA moms work on project to get George Clooney to film a movie at their school. Along the way, they deal with individual, life catastrophes. The plot was ridiculous enough; what made it worse was that the author seemed to take this story seriously, totally unaware that it was a complete joke.
The cover of Ellen Meister's debut novel has a Lichtenstein-inspired tongue-in-cheek rendering of four women standing before a backdrop of Suburbia, USA. The woman in the foreground has a thought-bubble that reads, "A MOVIE STAR IS COMING TO TOWN AND MY FRIENDS WANT TO DATE HIM!"
But the thought-bubble should read, "A MOVIE STAR IS COMING TO TOWN AND MY FRIENDS WANT TO SHTUP HIM!" Because--let me just tell you now--in Applewood? There's a whole lotta shtuppin' goin on.
Not that there's anything wrong with shtupping...I'm just saying.
Seriously, I had so much fun reading this book. The main characters are likeable and quirky, with real lives and families, real faults and longings, that make you see them as full, complete people and not the cardboard cutouts so many authors working in similar genres have produced. (And, actually, I'm not even sure what I mean by "similar genres," since I have to say that even though a hot pink cover has become synonymous lately with a "chick lit" label, this novel is not your traditional chick-litty book. It's full and rich and generously sprinkled with emotional, humorous, sexy surprises.)
And the minor characters delight as well: the husband, who, following a drug-induced stroke (more or less of his own making) is left impotent and yet perversely sexually uninhibited; the private investigator who is an emotionally sensitive wreck; the alcoholic blues-singing mother who keeps trying to upstage a talented daughter who could care less about being upstaged; the womanizing best-male-friend-cum-almost-lover; the evangelical-pure-on-the-surface, animal-in-bed widower who is also Applewood's most eligible bachelor; the smooth-veneered catty PTA maven who has her own dirty little secrets; and, of course, the infamous roving rock that has spawned so much trouble. (Do rocks spawn??....if they do anywhere, it would be in hyper-fertile Applewood.)
What? You've never heard of Applewood Rock? Why, it's right up there with Plymouth Rock, people. Wars have been started over lesser objects. But don't believe me: get the book, slip between the covers, and have the time of your life. This is a seriously funny, engaging, endearing read.
Are These Women My Neighbors? Yikes! This is a perfect example of a work of fiction where I didn’t like the characters but I loved the book. Good writing, a funny plot bordering on the absurd, and colorful, fully fleshed out characters, make the farcical and morally ambiguous ladies of the Applewood PTA surprisingly believable. The time spent reading these pages was for me, pure, self-indulgent entertainment. It was like watching Bravo television shows about, The Real Housewives—or like watching the catfights between the Carrington wives back in the old days of Dynasty. Aside from juicy, gossipy ‘grown-up’ sorority spats, this romp has a little of everything: Medical dramas, tennis matches, infidelities, ménage a trios, alcoholism, learning disabilities, fires . . . just about every kind of suburban drama known to a generation raised on a soap opera diet.
Meanwhile, if the actor George Clooney has ever entered your fantasies, or if you’ve ever spent time on a PTA committee and recognize the circle of self-important hags running the show like it’s work as important as the UN, and if you don’t mind a few predictable and contrived plot twists, pick up this book and give yourself a dose of literary masturbation. I don’t ever want to meet these women, or serve on any committees with them, but reading about them was a hoot.
I have to admit, this book wasn't as silly as I anticipated it being, nor as, um, juicy I guess. The premise is cute but highly implausible: a movie location scout decides to shoot a movie starring George Clooney at the school where a group of friends are PTA members. They need money to build a new stadium and conveniently the movie producers are willing to build a new stadium for the film. The movie plot almost takes a backseat to the overly dramatic problems that the friends face. The book could still have been almost exactly the same without the movie bit thrown in.
I had other issues with the book as well. It seemed like the author was trying to be risque with the sex scenes, but they still had a toned back feel to them, like she didn't want to offend the audience. Also the book centered around 3 friends but there was a random 4th woman that they were also friends with who didn't get hardly any attention which is unfortunate since she seemed like the most interesting one of the group.
Unsurprisingly the story wrapped up nicely with happy endings for everyone. The school got the movie filmed there along with their stadium and the "neglected" friend got her alone time with George Clooney. Overall it was a quick escapism book that wasn't unenjoyable but was still otherwise completely forgettable. I give it a C--.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I'm done listening to this book and it's headed for 3 stars. 2.5 if that were possible. I think I mostly enjoy listening to Lisa Kudrow read. The characters are just not compelling. Just when I think they might be interesting, there is a stupid plot twist that seems so unreal I become disengaged. Some of the plot lines are so absurd it makes me think the author was trying for the over the top, 2 dimensional, exaggerated craziness but then she tries to weave real issues into the lives of the women and it just doesn't work.
I like Lisa the most, the woman dealing with her recovering alcoholic mother. Maddy gets some sympathy but ends up being so needy, I want the husband to dump her. And Ruth who lusts after the school principal is just not believable at all.
There are so many absurdities and contrived plot twists in this book that I just couldn't get past. I will finish the book but can't recommend it. The reviews seem to indicate that the author has other books that I might enjoy more so I'll look them up.
A film crew's interest in using the local elementary school as set for the newest George Clooney movie ignites the imagination and brings out the claws of the PTA moms, but more than their fantasies are at stake when the crew offers to build a much needed stadium for the school as part of the movie set.
Four women with nothing obvious in common join forces to ensure the project moves forward, learning much about each other in the process. Don't judge a book by its cover, the grass is not always greener, those who live in glass houses... all the common cliches apply - but still delivers a nice blend of humor and tears as they fight to bring the movie to their school, and to support each other through difficult personal struggles.
The story moved fairly slowly through the first several chapters, but gained speed quickly and finished with both predictable and unexpected conclusions. I enjoyed reading it and will keep it on the shelf - this is one I will likely re-read in the future.
I'm super excited to listen to this book, because I have the audio book, and Lisa Kudrow reads it. She was fantastic on Friends.
Review: Desperate Housewives + Housewives of New Jersey. A fun read, I wanted a break from my Debbie Downer socially conscious and brooding literature. Warning: So graphic. Parental advisory for vulgar language. Not for the book club, ladies. Please, I will just blush! I was engaged from the start, but lost interest toward the end. Their problems are so fake. Three main characters: Maddie, a former lawyer, star rating 3, love her, just for being intriguing. Ruth, not realistic at all and what's with the affairs?, star rating 2, but love the New Yawk accent and fun antics. Lisa, gave the book a reason to go on, rating 4 -- she is struggling to make amends with her alcoholic mother and striving to be the best mother she can be. Such a complex and admirable character.
I only gave this book 4 stars. not because I didn't love the story. I could relate to all the ladies. especially when Ruth went through her depression, but the way she treated her husband, Keith in the midst of it pissed me off! Letting him fall, threatening to let him miss his daughter's play, when she specifically knew he was looking forward to it! Just because he wasn't handling his impotency after a stroke well and she was a woman scorned from her affair!!! I've suffered deep depression and know the blackness of it, but I would NEVER let someone I love suffer that kind of abuse because of it. That rubbed me the wrong way completely! I'd also have to say the GD word bothered me. I had to pass it with my eyes! When did this word become so socially accepted??? They even play it freely on tv now! I'm such a HUGE Ellen Meister fan! Other than those 2 things, great read, great book, as always, Mrs. Meister ROCKS!
I enjoyed this novel,though I liked some of the story lines better than others. There were some amusing moments and some that were quite tender, and no one was one note. I found some of it to be a bit cheesy, a bit too "chick lit" cliche, but seeing as that's what this book is, it fit. The overall theme of the power of friendship and love was great. I read the book mostly because Ellen Meister has some other novels I'm interested in, with premises that are more my thing (visits from Dorothy Parker's ghost!) Having read Applewood, I am excited to see what Ms. Meister can do with subjects that are a bit more my taste. My personal opinion about chick lit aside, if like well-rounded female characters, you'll find Ellen Meister definitely knows how to write them. And you'll find yourself connecting to them in one way or another. To me, that's the best achievement of this book.
This book explores the personal lives and relationships of "soccer moms" in a Long Island community. I enjoyed the story, including the recognizable references to the Long Island area. The novel was at times funny at times it brought on some tears, at times it helped me to recall my own memories of my days as a mother of young children on Long Island. Although I enjoyed it, I like my books about real life to reflect real life, I found that in this novel, for me, the characters were a little over the top, the story a little too outrageous, and the ending was for me, a little to neatly wrapped up. I do realize, however, that I may not have been privy to all the excitment and secrets in my PTA (LOL) It was, however, A fun read that brought
This was an interesting take on the chick lit PTA Mommy type of book. In some ways, it's very formula...an evil Barbie Doll PTA President, plucky female friends, affairs here and there, broken hearts, hurting marriages, etc. But in other ways, it's refreshingly different. One of the main characters was a trophy wife whose older husband had a brain anneurysm and as a result is mentally and physically challenged. How she deals with supporting him while not losing her grip on life herself is very interesting. Another mother deals with guilt and anger surrounding her relationship with her own (alcoholic) mother. I liked the characters and found them a bit more in depth than you usually get with this type book.
This book is a complete mock up of the over pretentious suburban moms and their hyper-critical daily jabs on each other. the writing feels a little elementary, it's apropos of the characters we are witness to. It's all a lark on these PTA moms; although the character of Paul Capobianco has me laughing because there are some character similarities to the locally known Dr. Of the same name. It was laughable at points, but simply lacked the depth I felt the author was reaching for. It became tedious to read and the raunchy parts simply didn't add to the flavor but detracted. The characters were either difficult to like or not developed enough to attach to. Without one character to like, it made it hard to care where any of them ended up or how the story moved forward.