My Sister's Keeper: Learning to Cope with a Sibling's Mental Illness

by Margaret Moorman

Margaret Moorman tells the story of her struggle to deal with the legacy of her older sister's devastating schizophrenia. Candid, moving, and ultimately healing, My Sister's Keeper offers hope to anyone whose life is touched by mental illness.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Psychology

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1992

About the author

Margaret Moorman is a writer and painter known for books on complex family relationships. She authored My Sister's Keeper and children's books, contributes to ARTnews and Newsday, and lives in New York with her husband and daughter.

Reviews

[Winter Sophia Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moving, Healing, Touching, Enlightening & Insightful!

[Sharon Odriozola · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although a bit dated, the sentiment remains just as impactful as when it was published. The author so clearly captures the fears, hopes, regrets, guilt, and hopelessness you feel when mental illness affects your family. I would recommend it to anyone in a similar situation, even if it is just to serve as a reminder that you're not alone.

[Laura Ostermeyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who lives with bipolar disorder I appreciated getting to hear the journey of a sibling of someone living with it. People sometimes don't think about the fall out that impacts loved ones and friends of those of us living with mental illness or the challenges all of us face. I highly recommend this book for anyone, especially those who want to learn more about mental illness and how to help.

[Pj · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was ableist and self-aggrandizing in a way that cannot be “explained” away by the limitations imposed on it by circumstance (All of it took place, pre-Americans with Disabilities Act.). Sally, the Mad sister, was repeatedly insulted by her “loved ones” as a “burden” who was better off dead, yet her “loved ones” derailed her many efforts to maximize her capacity for independence from them: Sally completed college; She met a suitable man whom she came very close to marrying; She made numerous attempts to quit consuming the psychiatric drugs that battered and crippled her body. Years after this book was published, the “well” (Ha!) sister’s investment in Sally’s “sick” identity became clear: As a teenager, she had an unplanned pregnancy, bore a son, gave him up for adoption, pretended as if he didn’t exist, and tracked him down after he was grown, only to “lose” him again when he refused to have a relationship with her. She obviously needed *someone* in the family who could be seen as more of a screw-up than herself, and, so, began her lifelong mission to manufacture and foment her sister’s “sickness”. What a Munchausen!

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although somewhat dated, this is a very honest memoir about the impact of growing up with a sibling that suffers with mental illness. Margaret Moorman is not afraid to show the less than perfect side of everyone in the family, including herself, which makes the whole book more helpful to others. I love that she includes the effects on not just herself, but also her mother. At the same time, she constantly strives to see how her sister may be feeling about her role in the family. It helped me to see how the affected sibling has some rights of independence that may not be easy for other family members to give. For instance the increased independence she gained after her mother passed on. But finding the right balance can be so difficult, and in this case the whole family was aided by the sister realizing she was ill. At times the level of detail made the book drag a little, such as when the mother passed on, but it was well worth the read for anyone wishing to understand family dynamics when one person is very ill.

[Alex (Alex's Version) · Rating 5 out of 5]

really beautiful.

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have a mentally ill sibling, this is a must read.

[Vickie Simpson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who has a difficult family member will understand...
This true-story book tells of a woman's experiences in dealing with a sister with bipolar disorder. Throughout her life, her sister's illness has impacted her own life in a variety of ways, and after the mother dies and she is the only one responsible for her sister, the situation intensifies. While on medication, the bipolar sister can function reasonably well, but she goes off meds from time to time and then the sister eventually has a mess to sort out.
The ambivalence of the relationship (the two sisters both love and resent each other) is perfectly captured in this book. It rings true. Although there was sufficient money left by the mother and social services available to assist, so that this was not the "worst case" scenario that some families experience, still, the family-wide devastation of mental illness was well captured in this book.
I couldn't put it down.

[Carole · Rating 3 out of 5]

a rether depressing story of a families struggle with a daughter's depression, before better treatment was available.

[Sara]

excellent..enlightening!

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really rings true. It has a hopeful message w/o being too sentimental. I would recommend it to anyone.

[Bookworm67 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this years ago, but remember being touched and troubled by it. Anyone who has lived with mentally ill loved ones and faced a caretaker's dilemmas will be touched by this book.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent book~well written story of a sister's life-long care for her mentally-challenged older sister.