Good Grief: A Constructive Approach to the Problem of Loss

by Granger E. Westberg

Many people experience grief as the result of loss. This book describes what happens to us whenever we lose someone or something important.
We all need a better understanding of the small griefs in life as well as those larger grief experiences which can overwhelm us.
Here is a volume to be kept close at hand. It can be used over the years as you encounter a wide variety of grief experiences or as you assist friends in moving beyond grief to good grief.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction, Self Help, Christian, Theology, Counselling, Spirituality

64 pages, Paperback

First published November 30, 1961

About the author

Westberg, born in Chicago in 1913, received his bachelor's from Augustana College in 1935, and later graduated from Augustana Theological Seminary . He served a short time as a parish pastor then became a full time chaplain at Augustana Hospital in Chicago . After that his writing and career focused on a team approach to health care .

In 1951 Westberg became Chaplain of the University of Chicago Clinics. In 1956 he started a joint appointment in both the Chicago Divinity School and the school of medicine at the University of Chicago.

In 1962 Westberg's interest in the grief process resulted in his writing Good Grief which enjoyed popular success.

Later in 1964 he became Dean of institute of Religion at Texas Med Center in Houston providing a graduate program in pastoral care and counseling through a program for seminaries . Later he would serve as Professor of Medicine and Religion in the Department of Psychiatry of Baylor College of Medicine, and at Hamma School of Theology now Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Ohio.

In Hamma Westberg began what would become the model for a "neighborhood church-based clinic", where physicians, pastoral counselors, nurses, seminarians and medical students and community volunteers provided needed care. He continued this sort of work when in the early 1970s he moved to the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), where he worked with a team to create several "wholistic health centers" focused on prevention, whole-person care, and the church as a healing community.

In the mid 1980s at Lutheran General Hospital in Park Ridge, Illinois, with support from a grant from the W. K. Kellogg Foundation, Westberg launched a parish nurse project in which nurses and others in congregations promoted health, prevented illness, and cared for those in need. This approach is now known as "faith community nursing" (FCN) where there is an intentional integration of the practice of faith with the practice of nursing so that people can achieve wholeness in, with, and through the population which faith community nurses serve.

Westberg lived in Willowbrook, Illinois toward the end of his life and died in 1999. By the time of his death in 1999, sales of his popular work, Good Grief, would reach more than 2.4 million copies.

Reviews

[Brenna Bonner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect. Short, concise and heartfelt. An excellent little book to guide one on the way.

[Jo Skeffington · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nicely written, concise, reader friendly.

[Brian Flatgard · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was grieving the loss of my father when I stumbled upon this book. It had been six months, and I was still feeling pretty lost, and I headed on a long road trip through the American West to think things through. I stayed in a fire tower for part of the trip in northern California, and was amazed to the point of laughing to find this book amongst the few items in the tiny fire tower. I read it all in one day, through multiple sittings. While this book shows its age, and I don't agree with all of its advice, it was there for me, and I took great comfort in much it said.

Grieving is crazy. It comes and goes in waves and bursts, with different intensities, and wildly different emotions. What a griever needs to hear one day may be completely different than the next day. Something a friend says one day can be of great help, while another day may depress or infuriate. I don't expect any book on grieving to be perfect, any more than a friend. What's important is that you know you're not alone.

[Travel Writing · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this book on paperback swap and NOWHERE in the description did it mention it was a Christian book.

I read it anyway and it was useless. Basically this author breaks grief up into 8 stages. Tells a boring little ditty about someone dealing with that stage, and then quotes a Bible verse. Even for a Christian book it is not useful. The chapter on anger was especially tiring. Only two pages and the helpful advice of,
"...it is to be wrestled with, and it can, by the grace of God, be overcome”.

I think this author was writing to a far different audience than I was expecting. I did not find this book comforting. In fact, I found it superficial and glib.

[Nancy Chambers · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t think the author ever lost anyone close to him. The book is very clinical and distant. If you are grieving stay away from this book it won’t help. If you want to help someone grieving you may get some ideas as to how to help a grieving person.

[Scott Ferguson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very short book packed full of good information about grief -- whether that be death or grief over other losses such as jobs, possessions, or even good things like your child getting married or going off to college. This book would be EXTREMELY helpful for someone who is going through grief. If anything, they can see that they aren't crazy and what they are experiencing and feeling (or not feeling) is completely normal. I highly recommend this for someone in the midst or beginning stages of grief.

[Lucy Fleming · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Grief

This little book was recommended to me by a friend after the loss of our 14 year old grandson who was shot in the back and killed by a police officer while jogging on a holiday beach. The book resonates with me during my eighth week of mourning. It does not attempt to remove my emotional response but rather helps my logic to categorize it. I will be sure to recommend it to others and am grateful for the wisdom it imparts.

[Cynthia Simpson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Great Help while Grieving

I have read this book on different occasions and always find it helpful to your soul and spirit. I first had this book recommended to me by a friend, so I bought it in paper back then. Later, I gave the paper back one to another friend and bought it on my Kindle. Thank you very much Mr. Westberg for writing this book and keeping it short and simple.

[Andrea · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't really consider myself to be as religious as the writer of this book, so it wasn't a big help to me, but there are lots of things here that could help others. This book isn't just about the grief of losing someone close, but also the grief of losing jobs, marriages, etc. Not really what I was looking for but I'm sure that some will find it comforting.

[Bonny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very easy to read because of short and to-the-point chapters on the 'stages' of grief. Good for when you're really struggling and can only concentrate on reading small portions at a time.
Easy for teenagers to understand or to have read to them in times of grief.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good overview of stages of grief. He describes a more detailed model than the typical five-step grief process, which was enlightening. I do wish the book include more commentary about how to help individuals in each stage but such commentary would likely fill volumes beyond this short book.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good for such a short book

Grief is too complicated a subject to address in such a short book. I found this book to be superficial, but to be fair, the author wrote it to expand on a sermon about grief.

[Kymberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I’ve ever read about grief. Short but deep and addresses all types of grieving not just the loss of a loved one. Keeping this for my own library but also suggesting this for our chaplaincy.

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found parts of this little text helpful (“We Resist Returning” and “We Struggle to Affirm Reality”). Then others, I found slightly unrelated to my plight. I believe most people in grief will be able to find something to relate to or give them comfort though.

[Jane Beard · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unless you’re Christian and inclined toward those stories, this book will not be very useful. Some nuggets will resonate but they’ll be buried in a construct you may not share. When you don’t believe in the scaffolding the advice rests on, it rings hollow.

[Maureen Koeppel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good pastoral advice

I found this very helpful having lost my mom a few months ago. It is written with compassion and caring.

[Dr. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent short book that helps to carry a person through the natural process of grief. Encouraging and enlightening.

[Karen S Mccolgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

God is in His Heaven

It is good to know you are not alone and the way you are feeling is normal. Feel the pain and move on in your own life.

[Simon Mall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Read

Excellent read on a topic we all experience but seldom discuss. The book is very hard too read and relatable.

[Tara Eastman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A keeper- still

Good Grief - a brief primer of the stages of grief. Written 50 years ago, but remains an excellent resource for people in the grief process.

[Eliza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, concise, and helpful!

[Jessica Birkhead]

It gave insight into understanding my own experiences and emotions...struggling through this process.

[Jeanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, concise, with lots of examples and advice for those who grieve.

[J Crossley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book on grief has been around for a long time, and i finally got around to reading it. I originally got it from the library, but then i decided to purchase it for my Kindle because this will be a book that i will go back to when dealing with grief.

[Eric · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a book that utterly fails its intended audience.

It is a book without an audience. It reads like a series of hastily jotted notes Westberg extracted from a psychological textook for his own reference rather than something to be offered to those suffering loss.

It's trite, clinical, meandering despite its size, cold and entirely aloof in its language. Westberg speaks in gross generalities, usually followed by irrelevant asides providing nothing of true humanity to the reader, with a hastily applied and useless stamp of biblical verse attached, grasping for some attempt at relevance. Furthermore, some of the more rigid statements suggesting how, and for how long, the bereaved should grieve is insulting and potentially harmful.

It shouldn't have to be stated, but Westberg may have been an incredible pastoral counselor--to his patients. By all means, the notes on his life suggest he was just that. In a setting such that he walked through each of these chapters them, perhaps it would carry some value. In isolation, and as written, it lacks humanity and is utterly useless as a provision for the grieving. I have no idea why this is so popular other than the fact that it's so short.

[Gail · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book I have, and read, by Granger E. Westberg is titled Good Grief: A Constructive Approach to the Problem of Loss. Copyright 1962, 1971 by Fortress Press. Having lost my first born son tragically 3 years ago (would have been 32 on November 11, 2016) ; having a high school friend living nearby in Elm City who recently lost her daughter; having arrived for Thanksgiving in Vicksburg, MS the childhood home of my husband whose mother is soon to be 90; having finished the book I was reading while on the airplane, I perused the books on the self and this is the one I picked. In its 64 pages, the author simply and briefly describes the many manifestations of the ever ongoing process of grieving. I brought it home from Vicksburg to share with my friend in Elm City. I believe that my mother-in-law wouldn't mind sharing. I'm certain she picked it up at some point in time following the death of her husband, my husband's father, and found its words comforting in that someone else has felt grief and had the gift of putting it in words to share.

[Will Waller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Grief is a tiny document that packs a mighty punch. Meant more for the parishioner than the pastoral counselor, it is a clear and approachable connection to the parishioner who continues to be beset by grief long after the well-wishers have gone home. It seeks to normalize grief, placing many of the stages of grief on the table for examination. Ultimately, this is a book that is meant to allow the tears to fall and not be hastily dried up but left to exist in their own right. Most beneficial about this book is that it goes beyond the typically written about grief – death – and speaks of other valid griefs.

[Christy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Actually, I should have noticed that this book had only 64 pages the size of a note card before I checked it out from the library. Anything that small tells me it doesn't have anything in there that I don't already know. I quickly thumbed through it, confirmed it had the same type of stuff about stages of grief, and that was it. There wasn't any advice or anything really, beyond description. I'd only recommend this to someone who hasn't spent 10 minutes on the Internet reviewing the same subject.

[Ben Fike · Rating 5 out of 5]

My friend Judy gave me this book. She embodies a person who has experienced profound grief with grace, honesty, and dignity of spirit. This book is short, avoids flowery-over-spiritualized language, and is a very helpful guide through the realities of "grief work". Nobody wants to experience grief, but we all do. The choice for us is how to go through it with integrity and - ultimately - hope that God is present in the midst of our pain. I think I may buy some copies to share with others - just as Judy did with me.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not feel lonely, I felt alone.

Often times we are so mechanical in addressing someone's grief. We say what everyone says-We mean well-we try. Remember, there is a ministry in presence. Simply being there. I have read this book many times and also used it as a textbook in college. It helped me give myself permission to openly grieve while in the comfort of caring friends and family. Thank you Mr. Westberg.