If God Were Your Therapist

by David J. Lieberman

Technological advancements have made our lives increasingly comfortable, safe, and easy; and we have more opportunities and advantages available to us today than ever before. Given the high level of both opportunity and comfort, one would expect people to be happier than ever, and even more satisfied with their lives. The reality, though, is startlingly different. Instead of thriving and feeling empowered as a result of greater choices, we are deteriorating. According to the latest research, one in four Americans suffers from mental illness. The drug companies try to keep pace, with the sales of anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, and mood-stabilizing drugs at record levels, and tens of millions of new prescriptions being written each year.But that doesn't seem to be enough.Many people are finding life just too painful. Every day, 80 Americans take their own lives, and over 1,900 Americans visit Emergency Departments for self-inflicted injury. So why are we suffering from such emotional pain and anguish? Drawing on timeless wisdom and fundamental principles in psychology, If God Were Your Therapist offers insights into the human condition, and reveals how regardless of the opportunities available to us today, a lack of self-control results in poor choices, and ultimately leads to negative emotions and destructive habits.As a solution, this book offers neither exercises or affirmations, nor meditations or motivating mantras. There is no homework to do or journals to fill out. Rather, readers learn how to regain self-control and move their thoughts, choices, and lives in a purposeful, powerful, direction, free from the shackles of anxiety and stress.A Look makes some people capable of handling life’s challenges with quiet calm and optimistic resolve, while others dissolve at the slightest insult or frustration? The answer has to do with our how we see, feel, behave, and, ultimately, respond to circumstances in our life. Imagine a small child playing with a toy that suddenly breaks. The child’s whole world is shattered, and she may respond by crying, or by becoming frustrated, sad, or even angry. The child fails to appreciate, let alone recognize, that she is still being clothed, fed, loved, and taken care of — not to mention that there is a whole world outside of her own smaller world. The child’s parents know that the broken toy has no significance, but the parents have perspective that the child lacks. Intellectually, we may know that what makes us anxious or upset is actually unimportant and insignificant. The qualities however, that most of us strive to exemplify — such as objectivity, calm, and patience — are lost to annoyance and impatience when, in a hurry, we encounter the checkout clerk with the trainee name-tag staring at the cash register as if it were the cockpit of a 757. We try to maintain our cool, but negative emotions surface, and once sparked, blaze. Now we face an uphill battle. Techniques such as taking deep breaths, reciting affirmations, or practicing visualization, might work when we face minor issues, but they’re insufficient for life’s really big challenges. Reminding ourselves not to get annoyed is not a solution. Yes, the objective is to remain calm, but this is better accomplished through not becoming agitated in the first place. When we fight the urge to blow up or melt down, we battle our own nature. Without perspective, we are forever like the child holding the broken toy. This book shows you how to experience a new kind of freedom and power when you learn how to permanently shift your perspective and move through life without anger, fear, or frustration . . .

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Mental Health, Christian, Religion

116 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 1, 2008

About the author

David J. Lieberman, PhD, is a renowned psychotherapist and the author of eleven books, including the New York Times bestsellers Get Anyone to Do Anything and Never Be Lied to Again. He has trained personnel in the U.S. military, the FBI, the CIA, and the NSA, and his instructional video is mandatory for psychological operations graduates.

He teaches government negotiators, mental health professionals, and Fortune 100 executives, and has appeared as a guest on more than 300 television and radio programs, including the Today show, NPR, and The View.

Reviews

[astried · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aren't you tired of seeing self-help books keep popping up on my update? Yeah, me too.

Anyway, this one is quite nice. Not exactly ground breaking. I think I sub-conciously I knew some of the concepts before reading it. It's more like being reminded about what you know because sometimes people just forgot.

I just wished he would stop using quantum physic as the base of his conviction. It gave me a whiff of pseudo-science and it's not relly necessary.

PS: self-help books are better drunk as audio-book, it goes straight to your heart.

[Kressel Housman · Rating 1 out of 5]

I heard the author of this book speak at a parenting lecture, and he was fabulous. What stage presence! He could have been a stand-up comedian! So I figured that anyone who can get up in front of a crowd of people so confidently must really know how to do what his subtitle promises: "rise above your nature and never feel angry, anxious, or insecure again." It's a pretty big promise, and the book didn't deliver.

The main theme of the book is self-esteem. In fact, Rabbi Twerski, the Jewish world's biggest advocate of self-esteem, wrote the introduction. (That was my favorite part.) The book goes on to describe the results of low self-esteem very clearly, which had the effect of decreasing my self-esteem even further. Really! Anyone who'd read a book like this probably knows the problems of low self-esteem very well and is looking for skills and solutions. But by the time the author got around to solutions, I was feeling so low that I wasn't in a frame of mind to use them. And truth be told, I didn't think all that much of them anyway.

The one thing I appreciated about this book was that it used Jewish sources - stories of gedolim and verses from the Torah and Talmud. The psychology did nothing for me. It left me wanting to re-read The Road Less Traveled for chizuk (emotional strengthening). If only someone would add Torah references to The Road Less Traveled. Now that would be right up my alley.

Unimpressed as I am with his book, I'd still go hear the author speak at the drop of a hat. I might even read any books he comes out with in the future; this is his first, after all. I just hope that next time he puts some of his delicious sense of humor into it. For me, this was a downer.

[Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think Everyone can benefit from reading this book. 
Super easy to understand. A useful book to help get and keep your personal growth on track. 98% of the information in this book was useable.
Chapters are very short 3-5 pages making it easy to glean to concepts quickly. 
Slightly religious based, but very useful even if religuon isn't your thing. 
Each page has footnotes right at the bottom, which is useful. If you want additional information its there at your fingertips, if not, the author doesn't bog you down with stuff youre not interested in.
Two of my favorite quites from the book. 
"We simply cannot pretend or try to be something else and have it be so. A picture of a cave does not produce an echo. The cave needs to be real."
"An arrogant person is an emotional junkie who depends on others to feed his fragile ego."

[Nocturnally Tacit · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book presents some valuable insights, it ultimately fails to resonate as deeply as it could due to its impersonal tone and seemingly artificial writing style. The book appears to be more of a compilation of generic self-help advice rather than a thoughtful and empathetic exploration of the human experience.

Though the book's intention to provide guidance and encouragement is commendable, its lack of depth and personal connection leaves readers craving a more authentic and relatable approach to the topics at hand. The author may have benefited from infusing the text with a stronger human touch, sharing personal anecdotes or narratives that could better illustrate the transformative impact of these ideas on real individuals. It really felt like it was written by chatgpt and not a real person.

[javier burga]

Mixed feelings

The author brings great insights about what is important in life and uses science-based research to support a good part of his statements. However, he makes disappointing assumptions based on his belief of God, whatever his religion is. It's a great book for those who have faith in God and are in need of a better perspective, or those who can objectively find good insights from other disagreeable parts and treasure just the good stuff.

[Mara Lamphere · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought that the author made too many generalizations but sifting through the material I found many valuable insights.
One of the thoughts shared: action/living rooted in ego necessarily demonstrates lacking self-esteem and action/living rooted in healthy self-esteem will necessarily exist with a low egotistical manner of living. A good book I think to build healthy self-esteem.

[Jonathan Baker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Occasionally challenging but mostly common sense, nothing is difficult in saying 'maintain perspective', but it is very difficult to maintain perspective. This requires a sticky system...this book doesn't really uncover this.

[Deanna Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short but amazing read

I really enjoyed this book. It contains a lot of great insight in a small book. I highly recommend it

[Morgan Moeller · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book would be God talking to us. Kinda like "An Interview With God" but it wasn't. This book had good points and a good message, I am disappointed because it wasn't God talking to us.

[NMonroe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Humbling!!

[Kathleen Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed it!

[Jason Comely · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this would be from God's perspective, like An Interview with God is. Instead, it's just advice from a psychotherapist, albeit (mostly) good advice.

[Angelina · Rating 4 out of 5]

It doesn't dispense useless advice nor does it sugar coat angry, anxiety, or insecurity. Dr. Lieberman gives a combined Torah and clinical perspective. It is a book that is always within reach.

Some books are either too technical or too preachy. It's not hard to read but this is not a book to speed through. It has tons of information that can easily fall under the radar if you don't take your time.

[Modya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Very thoughtfully presented as a introduction to deep work on anger, anxiety and insecurity. A nice marriage of Mussar and Psychology to provide good food for thought about where next to delve deeper. I also got to meet the author some years ago and listen to his classes. A great guy who is grounded and has done his own work in these areas. It shows in his writings in this book.

[Lisa Autry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Positive and revealing

Overall this book is a nice look at the actions and thought processes that keep us stuck in a place where we stymie and even sabotage our lives.I recommend you give it a try.

[Marla Griffith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Makes you think....

[Andy Clingman]

Not bad. Not your usual overly religious guilt-fest.