The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love

by Thomas Moore

A highly original approach from best selling author Thomas Moore, restoring sex to its rightful place in the human psyche as an experience of the soul.

In The Soul of Sex, Thomas Moore at last restores sex to its rightful place in the human psyche. Describing sex as an experience of the soul, Thomas Moore here brings out the fully human side of sex – the roles of fantasy, desire, meaning, and morality – and draws on religion, mythology art, literature, and film to show how sex is one of the most profound mysteries of life.

While finding spirituality inherent in sex, Moore also explores how spiritual values can sometimes wound our sexuality.

Blending rather than opposing spirituality and sexuality, The Soul of Sex offers us a fresh, livable way of becoming more deeply sexual and loving in all areas of life.

Genres: Sexuality, Nonfiction, Psychology, Spirituality, Philosophy, Relationships, Self Help

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Thomas Moore is the author of the bestselling book, Care of the Soul, Ageless Soul, and fifteen other books on deepening spirituality and cultivating soul in every aspect of life. He has been a monk, a musician, a university professor, and a psychotherapist, and today he lectures widely on holistic medicine, spirituality, psychotherapy, and the arts. He lectures frequently in Ireland and has a special love of Irish culture. He has Ph.D. in religion from Syracuse University and has won several awards for his work, including an honorary doctorate from Lesley University and the Humanitarian Award from Einstein Medical School of Yeshiva University. He also has a B.A. in music from DePaul University, an M.A. in musicology from the University of Michigan, and an M.A. in theology from the University of Windsor. He also writes fiction and music and often works with his wife, artist and yoga instructor, Hari Kirin. He writes regular columns for Resurgence and Spirituality & Health.

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Reviews

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't the best book to start with if you're not familiar with Thomas Moore's writings. Based on reading others' reviews, whatever many readers expect this book to be about when they start reading it, this isn't it. On the other hand, if you have read Moore before, you probably won't be surprised, but you may not find all that much that's new to you in here. Basically, Moore takes the general theme that runs through all his works—that we can add depth, richness, and meaning to our lives by taking care of the soul as well as the body and the spirit—and applies it to sex and the sensual.

Moore covers a wide variety of topics. Some are probably "expected" in a book on sex, like beauty, the sex organs, and morality. Although I found these chapters to be interesting as I read them, I'm not sure how long they'll stick with me. Other topics were more of a surprise, and because they were unexpected, I'm guessing I'll remember them for some time to come. For instance, Moore devotes a chapter to chastity and celibacy, not only discussing those chaste periods most of us go through, but also finding a spirit of celibacy in marriage. In other chapters, Moore looks at the eroticism (or lack thereof) in everyday things like roads and the workplace, or Epicureanism as a means of adding meaning to life. Of course, by this point, he's broadened the meaning to eroticism to include just about anything that involves desire and the sensual. This may annoy some readers as being too much of a catch-all approach; other readers will appreciate having a different way to look at these topics.

[Parisienne · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you enjoy a classic exploration of the social, historical and spiritual aspects of sex then this book is for you! Stimulating and intellectually satisfying it makes for an introspective read. Goes great with dark chocolate haha!

[Blair Emsick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Omggg this book.. perfect read for Sensual Taurus season. This dude is on one and I’m here for it. For instance, he writes, “When you walk through a door and don’t have at least a slight sexual experience, perhaps the door should be changed.” I’m like.. what??? But then I think about the satisfying click when I shut my bedroom door .. it totally resembles penetration. There’s just so much I loved about this book. Recommended for anyone who has sex and/or a soul.

[Kathryn Bashaar · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was very disappointing: just some guy's vague, random, disorganized musings on the topic of sex. I read about 30 pages, could not for the life of me figure out what his point was and gave up and quit reading.

[Rosa Ramôa · Rating 5 out of 5]

"No sexo, uma vida íntima de fortes emoções e vívidas fantasias envolve uma pessoa real para criar um momento de excepcional intensidade, quando a vida atinge a sua plenitude e a razão nos foge. Este é um momento em que as brincadeiras amorosas têm primazia, e em que contudo nada poderá ter implicações mais sérias. Até mesmo quando o sexo não é arrebatador ou perfeito, conduz-nos a um nível muito além do terreno. Os olhares e toques levam a uma espécie de transe, um estado alterado de consciência, uma esfera de sensações fantásticas e eventos imaginários, uma realidade distinta.
A alma anseia por essas saídas da realidade literal, portanto não causa espanto o facto de o sexo ser tão irresistível. Mas é a alma, então um corpo inanimado, que sente o desejo e não resiste a satisfazê-lo. Um estado alterado, como um transe sexual, não é vazio. Muito ocorre durante esse afastamento da existência diária, embora tal actividade especial realize coisas na alma que podem ser muito diferentes das que almejamos na vida comum. No sexo, podemos descobrir subliminarmente muitas verdades sobre os nossos parceiros, nós mesmos, os nossos relacionamentos, a paixão e a própria vida."

[Emi Yoshida · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found Moore's references to The Scarlet Letter, Marilyn Monroe, George Sand and Chopin, and all the art and Greek and Roman mythology to be interesting because of my familiarity with them all as topics, rather than due to their presentation here being particularly artful or enlightening. And everything in between was religion and meaningless to me. So my notes on this book read as a list of banalities, facts I already knew:

growing old doesn't destroy the beauty that is the soul's radiance
a partially covered body can be more alluring than a naked one
at anniversaries we celebrate the tenacity of marriages and the wisdom and good luck of the couple who have been able to live their lives together over a long period of time
marriage is an engaged life not limited and narcissistic lifestyle of the single
even when a couple tires of their life together they may find it difficult to end the marriage, because it is something other than their combined ideas and experiences, it has its own reality and life spark

[J Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Soul of Sex is more than just "cultivating life as an act of love." It's a read for those who want to more intimately accept humanity's sexuality and love-drive. A beautiful book...

[Carla Parreira]

Melhores trechos: “…A atração sexual não é um evento puramente físico. A alma está sempre à procura do que satisfará seu desejo, e nossos olhos não são separados dos dela… No sexo passamos a conhecer a pessoa de um modo mais do que especial. O sexo revela grande parte do que é inconsciente para as duas pessoas…
A sensação nunca é separada da fantasia, que lhe dá um significado. Todos sabemos que o sexo é uma experiência física, mas às vezes nos esquecemos de que mesmo em meio ao êxtase usamos muito a imaginação. Não podemos apreciar as dimensões mais profundas do sexo se não levarmos em conta a poesia desse corpo que fala conosco através de sensação…
Afrodite é freqüentemente mostrada com um ligeiro sorriso no rosto, o tipo que achamos ao mesmo tempo misterioso e intrigante na Mona Lisa de Leonardo da Vinci. O sorriso não pode ser reduzido a um significado único, mas em relação a outras qualidades associadas à deusa podemos ver nele seu contentamento com os prazeres físicos comuns, a alegria que traz à vida e, ligada a tudo isso, sua franca apreciação do corpo sexual…
O ser humano em frente de um espelho penteando os cabelos está realizando um ritual, um verdadeiro rito da religião de Afrodite. Pentear os cabelos é um modo de cuidar da alma. É claro que esse ato pode ser genuína em sua espontaneidade ou neurótica em seu egoísmo. Afrodite é o rosto da alma, e seu mundo de beleza sedutora e cuidados com o corpo é um caminho válido e positivos para a alma…
A beleza da alma é percebida através dos sentidos, e contudo é eterna…
Nossas vidas não têm mais alma quando fazemos coisas de um modo direto do que quando nos permitimos ser atraídos pela beleza e pelos interesses do mundo. O mundo está vivo e tem um corpo com partes privadas que podem ser sedutoras…
Em geral, Afrodite não está interessada em hábitos, compromissos e arranjos bem-feitos e duradouros. Ela representa a vida atual. Oferece novas atrações, ligações e paixões. Faz o seu trabalho indiretamente, com sua cabeça virada para o lado oposto. Um belo dia podemos acordar e desejar saber como chegamos onde estamos, os encantos tendo sito tão sutis que passaram despercebidos…
Em nome de Ártemis a vida pode ser celibatária, solitária, pura e introspectiva, e, ainda assim, livre de narcisismo. Ártemis não representa uma evitação ansiosa do sexo, mas um modo casto de ser sexual… Temos uma forte tendência a achar que o sexo emana dos órgãos sexuais ou do corpo puramente físico, mas Jesus apresenta um conceito bastante diferente – a sexualidade baseada na compaixão e na capacidade de amizade. É uma sexualidade mais amplamente definida, mas não menos sensual, em que o amor e o prazer estão unidos integralmente. Não há necessidade de levar afeto para o que é considerado uma expressão apenas física, ou justificar o sexo com amor. Na sexualidade de Jesus a vida física e a compaixão são dois lados de uma mesma moeda. Com ele descobrimos que o coração é um órgão tão sexual como qualquer parte íntima…
A cura da alma começa quando homens e mulheres vivem sua realidade terrena, em vez de suas idéias e ideais…
No sexo, uma vida íntima de fortes emoções e vívidas fantasias envolve uma pessoa real para criar um momento de excepcional intensidade, quando a vida atinge sua plenitude e a razão nos foge… A alma anseia por essas saídas da realidade literal, portanto não causa espanto o fato de o sexo ser tão irresistível. Mas é a alma, e não um corpo inanimado, que sente o desejo e não resiste a satisfazê-lo…
O bom sexo exige que deixemos para trás a realidade comum entrando o máximo possível na área da sensação, da imaginação e da paixão…
Não só o sexo, como todas as coisas que fazemos, todos os objetos e eventos, não importa o quanto possam parecer seculares, têm uma importância espiritual. Se vivermos segundo essa filosofia não dualista, o sexo permanecerá naturalmente ligado à espiritualidade, mas se separarmos o corpo e o espírito em qualquer parte da vida, certamente teremos problemas com o sexo…
Nossa capacidade de ser sensuais e afetuosos poderia ser o segredo para eliminar tensões entre a vida espiritual e a sexualidade. A pessoa muito espiritualizada tem de perceber em algum ponto que ninguém se torna espiritualizado suprindo o sexo, mas mudando a sua expressão…
A manifestação natural de afeto é o começo do sexo. Como as origens do afeto são espirituais, o sexo pode fluir diretamente da nossa espiritualidade através do amor. É preciso reconhecer que a vida espiritual se baseia no amor, não apenas na compreensão, e depois cultivar o afeto e a sensualidade como partes da nossa pratica espiritual…
A visão espiritual pode ser tão pura e clara que a condição humana parede desprezível. Por isso, convém dar uma atenção especial às graças de Vênus, combinar nossa espiritualidade com os afetos fundamentais que nunca estão separados da nossa sexualidade. Assim evitamos a condição perigosa na qual o sexo é separado de nossas vidas por nossa grande preocupação com o espírito. No melhor dos mundos uma vida espiritual intensa é o catalisador que transforma nossa sexualidade em uma vida de beleza e comunhão…
Especialmente na área do sexo, que é insistente e misteriosamente ligada à moralidade, podemos ficar divididos entre o forte desejo e a forte inibição, incapazes de encontrar um ponto intermediário em que a paixão e a virtude podem se unir de um modo relaxante e criativo. Em meio a essa ansiedade e confusão moral, é difícil encontrar prazer no sexo… Sempre que o Eros entra em ação, a alma se anima. Infelizmente, o inverso também é verdadeiro…
Quando a moralidade é explorada como um meio de reprimir o desejo e encobrir manifestações de amor, o resultado pode ser um tipo especial de depressão que mostra todos os sinais de um coração e Eros aprisionados. É um preço alto a pagar pela ilusão de inocência…
Especialmente em certos períodos da vida, as emoções sexuais são muito opressivas, e o moralismo pode ser uma solução tentadora. Não exige um esforço de reflexão ou uma luta pessoal. É um meio fácil de controle, e além disso nos faz parecer virtuosos. Podemos nos sentir superiores às pessoas que estão sendo maculadas pelas paixões, e ter a ilusão de que tudo está sob controle…
Se aceitarmos a alma do sexo – o que significa que as fantasias e desejos sexuais nem sempre devem ser interpretados literalmente, mas como poesias e imagens que apontam para algo maior – poderemos aceitar que todas as fantasias sexuais são válidas e fazem sentido. Nenhum desejo precisa ser reprimido, mas ser alimentado, levado em conta e discutido…
Se fizermos uma abordagem menos literal da vida, nossa moralidade poderá ser exercida mais suavemente e nos oprimirá menos. A moralidade deveria ser alegre, uma afirmação e não uma negação da vida. O sexo nem sempre é literal como imaginamos, e não é necessário realizar todos os desejos para realizar todas as fantasias. A maioria das fantasias e desejos sexuais indica a dinâmica erótica da vida e não o sexo em si…
Há dois modos de ser celibatário e casto. Um deles é permanecer solteiro ou não ter um amante. O outro é menos literal, levar o espírito do celibato à vida, seja de casado ou solteiro, e cultivar o espírito de castidade ou pureza sexual, tendo ou não uma vida sexual no sentido comum. Desse amplo ponto de vista, que representa fielmente a alma do sexo, o celibato e a castidade podem ter papeis importantes em qualquer tipo de vida…
A alma não é apenas normal. Pode ser confortador sentir-se normal, mas os avanços mais interessantes e criativos da vida freqüentemente nos levam na direção da excentricidade…
O espectro do normal para o anormal é simplesmente a possível extensão do individualismo e universalidade humanas…
As pessoas sem parceiros sexuais podem ser profundamente sexuais, tomando como seu espírito orientador a grande deusa Atena, uma das raras deusas virgens, responsável pela formação de uma cultura forte, imaginativa e abrangente – que às vezes tece a cultura e a vida em um belo tapete…
Quando as qualidade características do sexo – intimidade, prazer, corpo, desejo, orgasmo – estão presentes em outras áreas da vida, essas áreas se tornam erotizadas de um modo real, não apenas metaforicamente. Nossos desejos sexuais são satisfeitos em outro nível, aumentando o prazer e eliminando um pouco da pressão por satisfação sexual exercida sobre nossos parceiros e amantes… Sexo demais pode acabar com o sentimento de pureza infantil que, para muitas pessoas, é uma parte preciosa da personalidade…
Nunca poderemos literalmente voltar à inocência da infância, mas a alma não é limitada por fatos literais. Pode ser restaurada e ter a sua virgindade renovada. Nossa atitude e consciência de nós mesmos, assim como nosso estilo de vida, podem de certo modo voltar ao ponto de partida. E é possível cultivarmos essa virgindade psicológica e pureza até mesmo se formos sexualmente ativos…
Precisamos de imagens ricas e profundas de pureza sexual, caso contrário, continuaremos a considerar a pureza um problema ou uma inibição ansiosa e desnecessária…
O sexo purifica! Em vários estágios da generosidade mutua, mostrando e olhando, tocando e sendo tocados, os indivíduos deixam de lado suas atitudes defensivas e descobrem o que significa estar presente para outra pessoa, de corpo e alma. E isso lhes dá força e vitalidade…
Esse tipo particular de sexualidade, tão profunda e desenvolvida, pode ser encontrado em relacionamentos duradouros fora do casamento, hetero ou homossexuais, porque também são uma área do trabalho intenso da alma…
O sexo conjugal tem um significado que vai muito além da sexualidade dos indivíduos em busca de amor e experiências. Na verdade é um tipo de ecologia – um modo de viver no mundo com responsabilidade, ajudando a formar e consolidar a comunidade e plantando as sementes do amor para um mundo que precisa de união. Esse poderoso contexto comunitário confere ao sexo conjugal uma certa nobreza…
O casamento não é uma entrega a outra pessoa, mas a outra condição de vida, que pode ser muito gratificante…
Quando não confiamos na alma, tendemos às interpretações negativas dos sentimentos e das fantasias…
No casamento, o sexo não é um número de encontros, mas o aperfeiçoamento continuo de um relacionamento sexual de toda a vida…
Como amantes desejaremos saber com que tipos de sexo nossos parceiros sonham. Podemos descobrir que alguns deles são questionáveis ou repulsivos para nós, e nos recusarmos a praticá-lo. Essa insistência na própria individualidade tem um papel importante e positivo no sexo. Mas também queremos ser esse amante secreto, e por isso podemos descobrir que tipo de sexualidade está por trás das portas da imaginação privada de nossos amantes…
Algumas pessoas parecem trocar de parceiros procurando a personificação do amante da alma. Ou podem ficar desiludidas quando o sexo não corresponde às experiências sexuais na pura fantasia. Podemos ter de aprender a viver em dois mundos, de sonho e vida, aceitando a validade e importância de ambos e de vez em quando sobrepondo-os…
O sexo pode nos colocar em contato com a sublimidade. Quando fazemos amor, ou depois disso, podemos sentir plenamente satisfeitos, e a totalidade da vida pode ser renovada por essa experiência…
O enfoque de nossos interesses sexuais pode mudar – o tipo de pessoa que nos atrai, nossas fantasias sobre o ato sexual, nossa tendência a ser mais ativos ou receptivos. O sexo tem ciclos que não são apenas físicos, como também emocionais e cheios de significados…
A exploração mútua da sensualidade pode fazer mais pelo relacionamento do que qualquer tentativa ansiosa de manter a afeição constante, e seu enfoque na satisfação física não diminui o amor. A necessidade de dar uma aparência de amor à sensualidade do sexo pode indicar uma resistência contra a vulnerabilidade e receptividade ao parceiro. O que parece ser uma virtude – insistir na afeição – pode ser apenas um modo de proteger-se do desafio no sexo de estar totalmente presente…
O sexo alivia a pressão da vida intelectualizada e nos coloca em uma posição diferente em que a intuição, a emoção e a sensação física assumem uma importância especial. Essa não é uma posição estúpida em que ficamos totalmente à mercê dos instintos – essa é a típica critica moralista e intelectualista do sexo – mas reúne um conjunto diferente de inteligências, cada uma delas igualmente útil para o intelecto…
O amor é cego – não porque é ignorante em sua cegueira, mas porque está acima do intelecto…
O sexo é de fato sagrado e deveria ser tratado com o tipo de reserva que temos para com lugares e rituais sagrados. Não levar os tabus a sério significa observá-los como um meio necessário de inibição e cautela, mas não colocar um escudo moral ao redor do sexo ou ignorar seu enorme poder praticando-o sem reservas…
Às vezes as pessoas levam para o sexo expectativas impossíveis que tiraram de revistas populares, livros ou filmes, e essas exigências sobre si mesmas e seus parceiros acrescentam um alto nível de ansiedade a suas vidas sexuais. Às vezes os leitores me dizem que o ponto principal dos meus escritos é a auto-aceitação. Quando tenho de reduzir centenas de milhares de palavras a uma frase, falo em aceitação da alma, em um reconhecimento de seus limites e dos limites da vida, uma aceitação do destino, e em particular dos amigos, amantes e membros da família que o destino lhe reservou…”

[Elizabeth Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some of this was too abstract/philosophical for me, but mostly I nodded in agreement. Also there was something wrong with the audiobook I borrowed from a local library—it ended in the middle of a sentence! But that's not Moore's fault.

In sum: "Then we will have discovered the deepest secret of sex, that it is life itself, precisely in its holiness rather than in its secularism." Amen.

[Ville Verkkapuro · Rating 3 out of 5]

My second Thomas Moore – and a good one, this too! Also about soul which I guess Thomas Moore has been writing about for a long time.
I am very interested in the soul. To me the concept of soul opened up in a whole new way when reading James Hillman, who talked about growing up (or "growing down") and went beyond the jungian explanation of what makes us "us" – it's more than just a combination of genes and upbringing. It's the daemon, which, I guess, it's the soul. And to me it's a kind of natural force and a unique thing that makes you you, it's something very beautiful and the root of all creativity, too.
And what is more in the core of creating than sex? That's how you were made.
I was in Berlin some time ago and met a friend who is really into eastern philosophy and going beyond the realm of what we usually experience. It's a Berlin view of this thing; psychedelics, partying, stuff like this, but also superfood and yoga and health and sports and mediation and chakras and such. And to me it was so interesting when my friend talked about sex, the importance, its energies. And I looked at the whole thing in a new way, I'd say. A more wholesome way of looking at it, maybe seeing "wanting" as something that you cannot get, making this a deep connection of souls.
Also; The Ethical Slut changed my view of what sex is. Of course it's not just penetration, petting, whatever... that I knew. But the levels of it... how a good discussion can truly be considered sex. And how it can really transform the way we think about the whole thing.
So, back to this book: it had a really good and forgiving touch, understanding everybody, from pornography to nuns. It was, to me, almost revolutionary in its softness. We tend to be pretty strung up on emotion when sex comes to play. And as societies we are, still, very strict. To me
I've had my share of psychedelic experiences with different substances, but nothing has transcended me quite like good sex does. And good sex is about nothing, it isn't about orgasms or licking or slapping or being handcuffed or having a finger in your butt – it's about connection, energies, secrecy and redemption, about the whole dance around it.
A big question to me is the fact that you can't want you have. It's a dance.
The pages about pornography spoke to me; I have always felt that we take it too seriously. Of course there's serious issues which need to be addressed, but that is not the whole picture – pornography, to me, is about an electrifying feeling of freedom. I'm not that into voeyrism or even getting off to the material, it's about celebrating freedom. That's sexy to me.
And; pornography can't be good if it isn't made with love. And love is freedom. So: ethical all the way.
Yet, pornography is not the thing, not even the least. It's about the energies, the connection, like I said. And that's why I thought it was so nice how this book spoke also very beautifully of marriage, which I felt was refreshing. And also of celibacy.
The best thing about this book was how understanding, calm and forgiving it was. A big topic, no shyness, yet still being very serene in a way.
You shouldn't apologise for anything that comes naturally to you.
Also, a very good point about this book: it relies heavily on mythologies, which was very interesting to me. I'm too shy to write anything about it, though, but I have a lot of tabs open and doing some more research.
And as a book, in overall, this wasn't very good. But it's interesting. Sex is very interesting. Very misunderstood. I'm still learning.

[Wendell Hennan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moore argues that sex should be at the centre of life and the top of our priorities and if we don’t give sex its due, it will haunt and consume us. But when sex has soul, deep pleasure and meaning find a common home and therefore this book is a sex manual for the soul. “It is better to lie on a bed of straw and be free of fear, than to have a golden couch and an opulent table , yet be troubled in mind.” Epicurean friendship is a central need for the soul and it gives sex a comfortable base. Affection and lust are two different emotions, both an important part of sex. An Epicurian life offers a rich and fertile ground for soul filled sexuality and is a philosophy of life in which sexual longing and pleasure have a home.

The farmer and his wife making love in the field as a way to make the field fertile are doing the same thing the earth is doing as it lives out its life, deepening their bond and increasing the quality of their life together.

[Andrea · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've been trying to finish this book for 25 years. Maybe it was relevant to my 30-something self; after all, I got about three-quarters of the way through it back then... But now it's time to move on. I recently read another chapter or two, so that's what I'm basing the review on. Pedantic, obfuscating, just incomprehensible at times... and I normally go for this kind of stuff. That's it for me. I've got too many other books to read.

[Sydney Hocker · Rating 1 out of 5]

Analysis was so shallow, felt like I was reading 300 pages of a high school essay. Learned nothing, read like a journal entry.

[Nate Fetterolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful exploration of the soul of sex and bringing that soul into all of life. An Epicurean approach to living as Thomas Moore puts it. Life changing for me in so many ways. As he put it himself, this book describes a kind of self-acceptance he calls “soul-acceptance”. Changes my whole view on life, sexuality, sex itself. Blew my mind away multiple times. Highly recommend to all men and women who’d like to live a life of real, deep, fulfilling pleasure.

“But to make that affirmation wholeheartedly requires that we agree to the moments of loss, failure, disillusionment, and ending that come with a full-bodied life. We may discover that eros is not so much concerned with our loving the people, the events, and the objects we find in the world as much as allowing ourselves to be loved and pursued by destiny, fate, and life itself. It’s an illusion to think that we are always the subjects in the sentences of daily living. We are mainly the objects, the ones who are done to, not only the ones doing.”

“For these very reasons the Epicurean style can affect our sexuality for the good. It gives us time to be sensual, and it fosters the nurtured intimacy that gives sex its personal substance and depth. It fosters deep pleasure rather than passing gratification. It prefers delight to thrill, and it is not demanding. The whole point of it is to reach a point of abundant tranquility.”

Gosh-darn amazing.

[Michael Wingler · Rating 3 out of 5]

“She troubles me….
Her body?
Yes. The way she looks… She arouses in me a desire yet undefined. All the stronger because it is undefined. A pure desire of nothing. I don’t want to do anything, but this desire bothers me. The knee. It was the magnet of my desire.
It’s easy. Put your hand on her knee. That’s the exorcism.
You’re wrong. It’s the hardest thing to do.”


“What’s the good of a man unless there’s the glimpse of a God in him? And what’s the good of a woman unless she’s a glimpse of a goddess of some sort?” - D.H. Lawrence

James Hillman once said we don’t suffer from neurosis — we suffer from lack of beauty. Thomas Moore, in The Soul of Sex, writes like someone who agrees. This book weakens me, not because it scandalizes, but because it dignifies so much that’s often overlooked.

Moore explores sexuality not as an act, but as a living thread woven into food, friendship, family, nature, the whole of our sensual, spiritual lives. These seem like simple ideas, but watching someone insist on their importance with such care and conviction feels radical.

3/5 — A Catholic monk asking society to reimagine its view of sex? That alone is worth the read.

[Diana Suddreth · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Soul of Sex is more about the soul than it is about sex, which is what I was hoping for. Moore postulates that if we cultivated our soul through sex and all that attends it, the result would be a more fulfilled life. In other words, "desire, pleasure, sensuousness, imagination, intimacy, joy, physicality, bodily comfort, friendship, attention to food, beauty, leisure, nature, and privacy", the very fabric of sexuality, all can enhance our enjoyment of life.

In the first part of the book he spends a great deal of time developing the archetypes, in particular Aphrodite/Venus and uses those archetypes to talk about the body, art, and eros. He weaves his past as a monk with his present as a married man when he talks about everyone needing celibacy as a part of feeding the soul. And then, he wraps it all up by writing about the epicurean soul. Fascinating.

Moore's writing is engaging and interesting. His thoughts are new to me and complex enough to give much food for thought.

[Kenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I happened upon this book at a local bookstore, and since I'm a fan of Thomas Moore, purchased it. I think it was shelved in the self-help relationship section, but I don't think that's where it belongs. In chapters that talk about sex within relationship, the book offers general themes for an attitude adjustment more than clear how-tos.

The subtitle "Cultivating Life as an Act of Love" seems to best capture the overall theme of this book, especially if "love" is understood in a very embodied, sensual sense. This is a book about living as a whole person, accepting the passion and beauty of the human body as a key to life. I found myself thinking a lot about Marcuse's Eros and Civilization and the cultivation of a good life. Moore draws on Ficino and Epicurus for models on living a harmonious, soulful life.

This is a book about the many way our bodies and souls draw us into life. Not just our sex organs, not just our life partners, but our art, our gaze, our spirituality, our buildings and roads, and so much more, are bound up in the soul of sex.

[Pilar Hanes · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastically and touchingly written self help book for a sexually broken society.

Thomas Moore (not the saint) writes so prettily for my idealistic and girlish mind. I loved this book. I’d only take off .5 of a star because I felt like it was repetitive at times (dont care tbh) but also because I wish he would have touched more on sexuality and food. Both are pleasures in life - so closely linked as he explained - but also deeply frowned upon in our almost ascetic society.
The person who limits their food and sex intake is a self-disciplined person, according to the typical American. But without these two crucial pleasures, life becomes devoid of the senses. God these are two INSANELY sensuous endeavors - to eat and to make love. I wish we could have heard more about this from him.

Nonetheless, one of my favorite nonfiction writings ever tbh

[JP · Rating 1 out of 5]

One of my favorite authors but this one is a little disappointing..
But still carried a tempo of moving from one word to another and from one page to another page.
You still carry a wisdom that a person who satisfy you in sex may not be taken for good partner coz good sex never vouch good characters or habits.
More like poetry and he is famous for smooth writing and never disappointed me.

[Sylvie M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my second read of this tome. I enjoyed it even more than the first time.

[Luiza · Rating 5 out of 5]

BRABO HEIN

[Carrie Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

A phenomenal read if you want to dive into the deeper meaning of sexual expression and pleasure. It truly enlightened me to all the gifts that sex gives us from every aspect of life.

[Taryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5*

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

lol - I did not realize I'd read this before until I was here writing this review. I have to say, I am at a much more opportune moment in my life to read it now. also, I love thomas moore and have read several of his books, but he is kind of vague and meandering so it's not terribly surprising I wouldn't remember it. anything that seemed familiar I probably just attributed to his other stuff.

so yeah, he talks a lot about the greek myths and even greco-roman society, which is good. he also gets super expansive. when he's talking about the soul or when he's talking about sex, there isn't much that doesn't fall into those categories. he talks about the sexuality of the world and the eroticism of things. or when he talks about celibacy, he says you can include celibacy in your life by "taking a five minute celibate walk". and then when he envisions his ideal world, he would have city planning meetings where people are talking about the erotic potential of parks and roads. I just don't see it happening.

so yeah, sometimes he gets vague, his organizing principles are not that obvious. often he will say something and I will want concrete examples that he doesn't supply. like, here, this is a particularly intriguing one: "I've known several nuns and priests, fully dedicated to their lives of celibacy, who find ways to weave into this lifestyle moments of sensual intimacy that to the outside may appear to contradict their vows." umm, by doing what??? I guess he may be protecting people's privacy, but in the end maybe leave it out all together if you're not going to say what it is.

but all in all, a lot of useful images and food for thought. I'm glad it's been a forgotten undercurrent in my beliefs about sex and that I read it again.

[Kathleen Brugger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the book frustrating, because I think he has a great message about sex but it was buried beneath his style of discussing everything in terms of mythology. The book's basic message was that sex is a part of what it is to be a “soulful” person. Sex is sacred, it is beautiful, it is holy. Our culture is completely confused about sex, and because we believe it's perverse we have become completely obsessed by it but get no satisfaction. He called for our culture to grow up and find a more mature attitude toward sexuality.

I loved his comment in the introduction: “Given our obsession with sex, we need to get more of it, not in quantity but in quality. It’s like a person addicted to junk food. He eats as much as he can because there is nothing there. If he were to eat real food—unprocessed, close to its earth origins, wonderfully prepared—he might leave the addiction behind. We need more sex, not less, but we need sex with soul.”

If you want to feel better about the role of sex in life but don't want any explicit discussion of sexuality, this is a great book.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

One important function of reading is that a book allows you a safe distance to explore ideas both unfamiliar and uncomfortable. I'm thankful to Moore for bringing honesty and vibrancy to the topics in all his books, this one included.

Now, if you go by the title and don't know the author, you may be skeptical from the start. But if you've ever watched a nature show, you know sex is all around you: swap out the term "life force" or "vitality" for sex in the title and you get a clearer concept what this book is about. Using myth, religious history and philosophy, he navigates the field carefully and earnestly, in a book that calls the reader, in the end, to simply be aware of this messy, exhilarating, beauty- filled thing called life.

[Koshin · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title alone is what pulled me in. I really enjoyed this book in the beginning. The author explores the sexual archetypes commonly found in Greek and Roman mythology and treis to make a case for incorporating sexuality and spirituality into life for a greater existence. Sex and Religion in society are usually on opposite ends of our moral spectrum but Moore gives examples of Art and other areas of life where incorporating sex as a way to connectwith the divine and to the very forces that move life itself.

It was a good book.

[Charissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Though I had a lot of hope for this book I could never really get into it. I read about 60 pages straight through and then skimmed the rest, never really finding that I was engrossed in what I was reading. The author did have some intriguing points now and then, like when he brought up Gabriel Josipovici's idea that touching someone or something confirms its presence, and Moore's thought extended from that to say that married couples should touch more in order to tune into a deeper, more sensuous relationship.

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

Comments before reading: I'm very in to psychology so I'm interested in seeing what the different aspects that Thomas Moore finds. I hope it's not like a textbook as I wouldn't like this book if it was.

Comments after reading: This book was not very interesting to me. I started reading it and it wasn't what I was expecting. I read some of the reviews and a lot of people didn't like the book so I guess you have to be in the right mind frame to want to read it.

[Vanessa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have to admit that I actually didn't finish this book. While Mr. Moore makes somes interesting points, and the introduction lends great promise, only a few chapters in and I found things to be the same opinions/points repeated over and over again with very little actual evidence to back said opinions up. Maybe it's just me and/or the wrong time in my life, but I found that my precious free-time was better spent moving on to better reads.