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A Guide to Personal Happiness
Written by the legendary two fathers of Ret therapy, this book is a straightforward look at how to supercharge your level of daily happiness.
192 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 1983
12 people are currently reading
238 people want to read
About the author
Albert Ellis
253 books450 followersAlbert Ellis was an American psychologist who in 1955 developed Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). He held M.A. and Ph.D. degrees in clinical psychology from Columbia University and American Board of Professional Psychology (ABPP). He also founded and was the President of the New York City-based Albert Ellis Institute for decades.
He is generally considered to be one of the originators of the cognitive revolutionary paradigm shift in psychotherapy and the founder of cognitive-behavioral therapies. Based on a 1982 professional survey of USA and Canadian psychologists, he was considered as the second most influential psychotherapist in history (Carl Rogers ranked first in the survey; Sigmund Freud was ranked third).
He is generally considered to be one of the originators of the cognitive revolutionary paradigm shift in psychotherapy and the founder of cognitive-behavioral therapies. Based on a 1982 professional survey of USA and Canadian psychologists, he was considered as the second most influential psychotherapist in history (Carl Rogers ranked first in the survey; Sigmund Freud was ranked third).
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
January 2, 2011
Dr. Albert Ellis invented REBT ( Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy ) from which Cognitive Therapy was invented. Cognitive therapy is based on the belief that emotions are caused by thoughts. If you think you won the lottery you feel great. If you think your best friend didn't call you back on purpose, you feel hurt. Change your irrational beliefs and you will change your feelings.
One of the ways that Dr. Ellis' system differs from Cognitive Therapy is that REBT holds the idea that there are 4 types of irrational thinking that every human being does, by nature. Work on getting rid of beliefs born out of these 4 types of thinking and you get rid of a lot angst for free. Of these 4 types Dr. Ellis considers "Demandism" as the root of most psychological distress. Demandism is having thoughts that demand that the reality be a certain way when it is not. These thoughts are recognized by the use of words such as "should, must, ought, must, have to, etc...".
The book opens with a brilliant essay by Dr. Ellis on why people should put their own happiness first to get the best results for their own lives and other people. The rest of the book is filled with partial transcripts from counseling sessions demonstrating how people can reduce ( not eliminate ) their angst by identifying the irrational demands they are making and repeatedly reflecting on why reality does not have to comply to those demands.
In other words, once people accept ( not endorse ) their current situation they turn more (not all) of their energy away from being upset and turn their energy toward doing what they can about making their lives happier. I was never really sure what the head shrinkers meant by "acceptance", but by reading the case histories in this book it dawned on me that "acceptance" is simply not having a strong emotional reaction every time you look at a situation you don't like.
The book is light on theory and light on jargon compared to Dr. Ellis's other books. It seems he made it with the intent of reaching a larger crowd. Being very familiar with Dr. Ellis' ideas I can't say for sure if the book will work for someone not familiar with his concepts.
Dr. Ellis wrote many books over the course of his half century career. Most cover similar ground. The best book of his that you can read is the one that he coauthored with Dr. Ron Harder called "A Guide To Rational Living". The book was revised many times so make sure get a copy of the 3rd edition with 23 chapters to get the most up to date version of his views. To get a good view of what Dr. Ellis considered to be the most important concepts I would start reading that book at chapter 20, finish it and then start over from the beginning.
One of the ways that Dr. Ellis' system differs from Cognitive Therapy is that REBT holds the idea that there are 4 types of irrational thinking that every human being does, by nature. Work on getting rid of beliefs born out of these 4 types of thinking and you get rid of a lot angst for free. Of these 4 types Dr. Ellis considers "Demandism" as the root of most psychological distress. Demandism is having thoughts that demand that the reality be a certain way when it is not. These thoughts are recognized by the use of words such as "should, must, ought, must, have to, etc...".
The book opens with a brilliant essay by Dr. Ellis on why people should put their own happiness first to get the best results for their own lives and other people. The rest of the book is filled with partial transcripts from counseling sessions demonstrating how people can reduce ( not eliminate ) their angst by identifying the irrational demands they are making and repeatedly reflecting on why reality does not have to comply to those demands.
In other words, once people accept ( not endorse ) their current situation they turn more (not all) of their energy away from being upset and turn their energy toward doing what they can about making their lives happier. I was never really sure what the head shrinkers meant by "acceptance", but by reading the case histories in this book it dawned on me that "acceptance" is simply not having a strong emotional reaction every time you look at a situation you don't like.
The book is light on theory and light on jargon compared to Dr. Ellis's other books. It seems he made it with the intent of reaching a larger crowd. Being very familiar with Dr. Ellis' ideas I can't say for sure if the book will work for someone not familiar with his concepts.
Dr. Ellis wrote many books over the course of his half century career. Most cover similar ground. The best book of his that you can read is the one that he coauthored with Dr. Ron Harder called "A Guide To Rational Living". The book was revised many times so make sure get a copy of the 3rd edition with 23 chapters to get the most up to date version of his views. To get a good view of what Dr. Ellis considered to be the most important concepts I would start reading that book at chapter 20, finish it and then start over from the beginning.
June 21, 2024
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October 8, 2021
Albert Ellis is revered as one of the founders of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because of his development of Rational Emotive Therapy. Irving Becker also gets high marks for his work in my textbooks. And this book was published in 1982, meaning that it resounds with the mindset of the 70s and is outdated. Even when I consider these mitigating factors, if I were to meet either author after reading this book I would be hard-pressed not to slap him. This is the most arrogant (even more so than Freud) piece of psychological writing I have encountered. While many of the ideas are sound, the tone is condescending and pedantic and dripping with cis/het white male upper class privilege.
I might have had more tolerance for the book if I had literally not just finished The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Many of the teachings are the same, but the tone is vastly different. Where Brown approaches the reader as a peer and a co-discoverer of problematic thinking styles, Ellis and Becker berate the reader as having a poor attitude, limited understanding of their own minds, and completely ignorant of objective truth.
Therapy and self-knowledge/self-assessment are luxuries many people cannot access due to the pressures of everyday life, lack of resources, and societal stigma. Ellis and Becker appear incapable of grasping this fact and are happy to lecture that the cause of all unhappiness and frustration in an individual's life is derived from one's attitude regardless of life circumstances. As someone who has worked in community mental health, that is bigoted at best.
In addition, the authors seem to believe that there is no such thing as right or wrong or any basis for morality. They emphasize their focus on maximizing personal happiness and state only that it should not harm others. But they also seem to have very strict definitions of harm. For example, they advocate overcoming a sense of personal shame by performing shameful acts in public, including men accosting female store clerks to order large amounts of condoms and demanding a discount for bulk buying!! I don't care how much this behavior might improve your personal happiness, it is wrong and gross and should not be encouraged by respected professionals.
I might have had more tolerance for the book if I had literally not just finished The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Many of the teachings are the same, but the tone is vastly different. Where Brown approaches the reader as a peer and a co-discoverer of problematic thinking styles, Ellis and Becker berate the reader as having a poor attitude, limited understanding of their own minds, and completely ignorant of objective truth.
Therapy and self-knowledge/self-assessment are luxuries many people cannot access due to the pressures of everyday life, lack of resources, and societal stigma. Ellis and Becker appear incapable of grasping this fact and are happy to lecture that the cause of all unhappiness and frustration in an individual's life is derived from one's attitude regardless of life circumstances. As someone who has worked in community mental health, that is bigoted at best.
In addition, the authors seem to believe that there is no such thing as right or wrong or any basis for morality. They emphasize their focus on maximizing personal happiness and state only that it should not harm others. But they also seem to have very strict definitions of harm. For example, they advocate overcoming a sense of personal shame by performing shameful acts in public, including men accosting female store clerks to order large amounts of condoms and demanding a discount for bulk buying!! I don't care how much this behavior might improve your personal happiness, it is wrong and gross and should not be encouraged by respected professionals.
March 28, 2021
A very very useful book to beat Depression, anxiety and procrastination.
October 19, 2020
This book holds a special place in my heart because it was my first introduction to cognitive psychology. I found the book and bought it as a young teen, not even knowing what psychology was or that I'd one day major in it and learn far beyond what's in this thin little volume. That said, this book is still extremely relevant today, even though cognitive behavioral therapies and theories have changed, and new skills in DBT and ACT have been developed.
The late Dr. Albert Ellis is a very logical, readable, refreshingly honest master. Ok, onto the book.
The book is a practical and helpful look at REBT - rational-emotive behavior therapy. Ellis and Becker introduce the ABCs of rational thinking and guide readers through the process of combating shyness, guilt, sex shame, relationship issues, work challenges, and more. Essentially when something happens (A), we evaluate it (B), and, based on that judgment, we (C) actuate - produce an emotion or behavior. These evaluations in the (B) step are often irrational (based on faulty thinking). Irrational thinking is generally black and white and includes the word "must" - "I must..." or "You must..." Because we tend to hold perfectionistic, inflexible expectations, we damn our person instead of simply evaluating our behavior and making adjustments. There are many good, relevant examples in here from no-nonsense but brilliant thinkers.
The late Dr. Albert Ellis is a very logical, readable, refreshingly honest master. Ok, onto the book.
The book is a practical and helpful look at REBT - rational-emotive behavior therapy. Ellis and Becker introduce the ABCs of rational thinking and guide readers through the process of combating shyness, guilt, sex shame, relationship issues, work challenges, and more. Essentially when something happens (A), we evaluate it (B), and, based on that judgment, we (C) actuate - produce an emotion or behavior. These evaluations in the (B) step are often irrational (based on faulty thinking). Irrational thinking is generally black and white and includes the word "must" - "I must..." or "You must..." Because we tend to hold perfectionistic, inflexible expectations, we damn our person instead of simply evaluating our behavior and making adjustments. There are many good, relevant examples in here from no-nonsense but brilliant thinkers.
August 2, 2015
This is a much better book than I expected it to be. It provides the principles of RET with concrete exercises. It provides useful transcripts of patient sessions that show how the principles are used correctly. So far the Albert Ellis books each provide enough of a different slant on the material that value is added for each presentation of the principles of RET.
This form of therapy is action oriented. The author says it is not enough to learn something that will make the reader feel better for a while. He says that if the reader will work on his or her problems a little bit each day using the RET principles and methods that the person will change and get better for 98% of the people who do the work.
This form of therapy is action oriented. The author says it is not enough to learn something that will make the reader feel better for a while. He says that if the reader will work on his or her problems a little bit each day using the RET principles and methods that the person will change and get better for 98% of the people who do the work.
November 12, 2014
There's some practical tools and insights here, but REBT (and CBT) seriously creep me out if they're not used in conjunction with some kind of depth psychology. Still, I like Albert Ellis' ideas about how cultivating and maintaining personal happiness is also beneficial to others and not an inherently selfish act.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews