Librarian note: an alternate cover for this edition can be found here.
Elizabeth Berg has penned an unforgettable tale about second chances that tugs hard at the heart strings even as it soothes the soul. Never Change tells the bittersweet story of Myra Lipinsky, a 51-year-old home care nurse and self-acclaimed spinster who finds herself assigned to care for the golden boy she secretly worshipped back in high school. Only Chip Reardon isn't quite so golden these days -- he's dying from a highly virulent type of brain tumor.
For Myra, the chance to care for Chip fills her with both pleasure and anxiety, particularly when she realizes that she still has strong feelings for him. At first their reunion is marked by fun, joy, and memories. But then reality kicks in when Chip's old girlfriend, Diann, shows up, and Myra once again finds herself feeling like the fifth wheel she was back in high school. Yet despite slipping into their old roles, the three quickly discover that they have all changed. For Myra, this leads to a bittersweet irony as she finds herself in a loving relationship for the first time in her life -- only to have it be with a man whose days are drastically numbered.
Elizabeth Berg is an American novelist. She was born in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and lived in Boston prior to her residence in Chicago. She studied English and Humanities at the University of Minnesota, but later ended up with a nursing degree. Her writing career started when she won an essay contest in Parents magazine. Since her debut novel in 1993, her novels have sold in large numbers and have received several awards and nominations, although some critics have tagged them as sentimental. She won the New England Book Awards in 1997. The novels Durable Goods, Joy School, and True to Form form a trilogy about the 12-year-old Katie Nash, in part based on the author's own experience as a daughter in a military family. Her essay "The Pretend Knitter" appears in the anthology Knitting Yarns: Writers on Knitting, published by W. W. Norton & Company in November 2013.
I put 3 authors in the same echelon, Tyler, Shreeve and Berg. I think, Berg is my favorite. I have read several of her books and the thing I recall the most about her books is her words. I have written down several of her quotes from the various books I have read. She has a way of putting into words things you have thought but couldn’t really find the words to say. I felt a personal pull to this book since my mother is a nurse and I could never understand why she enjoyed her job so much. This book shed some light. It isn’t just a job. It’s the people. Berg created a great character for this book, as well. Myra isn’t necessarily that pretty on the outside. Therefore, she doesn’t attract the people she longed for. However, once you had the privilege to meet her, you recognized the incredible beauty inside. I think Myra realized this about herself at the end of the book. At least, if she didn’t, she was on her way. Another Berg book that has left an impression on me.
"Never Change" is one of Elizabeth Berg's best books--thoughtful, funny, and wise. Myra is a visiting nurse who deeply cares for her patients. She's intelligent, plain, and someone people are comfortable confiding in. However, she's never been in a longterm relationship. During her high school years, she had a crush on Chip who was smart, athletic, and popular. Thirty years later, Myra receives an assignment to be Chip's home care nurse. He's returned to his hometown with a brain tumor and a terminal prognosis.
Berg has written a story that is as much about leaving yourself open to fully experiencing life as it is about death. There are many touching moments between Myra and Chip, as well as with her other patients. While the ending is obviously sad, the interactions among all the characters emphasizes caring and connecting with others.
I have read several books by Elizabeth Berg and always find that she tells a good story. My biggest concern with this book were the many many many boundaries that the main character Myra broke working as a home health nurse. This book focuses on Myra caring for a former high school classmate when he returns home with a terminal cancer. Some of the boundary issues included: telling her patients her personal struggles, socializing with patients, moving a patient into her home, and having a sexual relationship with a patient. Maybe I read too much into this book but I found the boundaries that were broken disturbing. As a professional in the health care field the boundary issues made this story unrealistic and difficult to read.
You know people like me. I'm the one who sat in a folding chair out in the hall selling tickets to the prom but never going, the one everybody liked but no one wanted to be with.
A self-anointed spinster at fifty-one, Myra Lipinsky has endured the isolation of her middle life by doting on her dog, Frank, and immersing herself in her career as a visiting nurse. Myra considers herself reasonably content, telling herself, It's enough, work and Frank. And it has been enough -- until Chip Reardon, the too-good-to-be-true golden boy she adored from afar, is assigned to be her new patient. Choosing to forgo invasive treatment for an incurable illness, Chip has returned from Manhattan to the New England home of his childhood to spend what time he has left. Now, Myra and Chip find themselves engaged in a poignant redefinition of roles, and a complicated dance of memory, ambivalence, and longing.
My Thoughts: From the very first page of Never Change, the author captured the characters by revealing the small and ordinary details of their lives, and showing us how Myra, the protagonist, fit into their worlds and connected with each of them.
For a woman who grew up feeling alone and unlovable, Myra had certainly developed that unique skill that endeared her to those she cared for in her role as a visiting nurse.
I loved how she bent the rules, bringing her patients into her life, doing little extra things for them, and nurturing them in ways that each of them needed most.
Her growing connection to Chip, the man who was that high school golden boy, the one she loved from afar, grew into a sweet and loving story that could probably happen only in these circumstances: a man dying and the woman who nurses him to the end becoming the center of his universe.
What Myra learns about herself, her capacity to love and be loved, was poetic and beautiful. I was rooting for both Chip and Myra, even though there was bound to be sadness along the way. Would Myra find a way to move on and redefine who she was in the world? Could the gifts she received from Chip help her on that journey? A beautiful story that earned 5 stars.
I bought this book with no prior knowledge of the story line - I just knew it was by Elizabeth Berg, so certainly it would be worth reading.
What I did not know was that it deals with death and dying, the progress of illness and its effects on the caregiver, the question of what we do with our life to make it meaningful to ourselves, and the way love can come up to us when we don't expect it.
When I began reading, and realized the storyline included a man who was in the final weeks of his life, I almost stopped reading because my brother is in that same place. I thought I wouldn't be able to take it. My brother is experiencing so many of the same symptoms as Chip. I'm glad, though, that I finished the book while I still have some time with my brother.
So again, my heart is lifted by Elizabeth Berg's writing. This is a truly beautiful book, one of her best, meaningful on so many levels. I can only say please, Ms. Berg, never change.
Elizabeth Berg is a GORGEOUS writer. You end up rereading passages and nodding with understanding. I adored this book years ago and was delighted to revisit it. I preferred this in print to the audiobook I just finished. There’s something to be said about taking the time to savor Berg’s language. Never Change is not an easy book to tackle, as it deals with terminal disease and caretaking, but it’s also a story that won’t leave you.
Myra Lipinski has spent her life looking out at everyone else living their lives. Working as a visiting nurse, she cares with tender efficiency for patients who need the kind of nursing care she can provide. She also feels genuine affection for them, bolsters their spirits and helps them outside of her official duties. But she has to remain professionally detached. Fortunately this comes easy for her. At fifty-one, she knows she will always live alone – except for her dog Frank. After all, she’s always been unattractive – the girl who sits outside the school cafeteria selling prom tickets, but never attends the dance. But her assumptions are tested when her old high school crush, Chip Reardon, returns to town. He is dying and he needs a nurse.
What I love about Berg’s novels is that she gives us something to think about, but also lets the reader feel with the characters. I felt Myra’s loneliness, exhilaration, peace, fear, anger, and pride. I found myself thinking about what constitutes quality of life, why certain people are attracted to one another, or how a chance encounter can really change the course of one’s life. I like that Berg’s characters are – for the most part – fully fleshed out. Even minor characters show both strengths and weaknesses. Pay attention to the prologue, and after you finish the epilogue go back and re-read the prologue. I love how Berg bookends Myra’s story with these two sections, calling attention to the wonder of normal everyday things.
More great writing from Elizabeth Berg. She's quickly becoming a go-to read for me!
This book has amazing insight into the life of a visiting nurse. The main character really tugs at your heartstring, and I loved the way she interacted with her patients.
Note: Part of the plot is what I'd call a right-to-die plot regarding one of the patients. For some people that might be a trigger, in which case I'd suggest trying another one of her books.
This is my second Elizabeth Berg novel and while I didn't like it as much as Open House, I liked it enough to give it four stars and to recommend it. There is something alluring about her writing, and I think it is that she does dialogue so well. When I read a conversation that Berg has written, I feel as if I'm listening to real people. The conversations have clear beginnings, middles and endings, unlike a lot of dialogue in fiction that tends to be more fragmented or just pieces of conversation. Berg's technique allows you to get inside the characters heads and know them better. These are not big action books, but more interior. In Never Change, set in the Boston suburbs, a high school wallflower, Myra, now a visiting nurse ends up with the popular jock, Chip Reardon, as her patient. As she cares for him in the final stages of his brain tumor, he and his ex-girlfriend, Diann end up moving in with Myra and the three of them work through their issues. Myra's overwhelming low self-esteem, Chip's inability to ever make a lasting connection with a woman, and Diann's well-meaning, but inadequate efforts to be with Chip and see him through to the end. Interwoven are Myra's somewhat stereo-typical patients, the elderly Jewish couple, the black drug dealer, the rich, lonely lady in Back Bay, etc. Since Elizabeth Berg was once herself a nurse, there is a lot of insight into caring for sick people. I don't want to spoil the ending, but it was a little far-fetched for me. Reading both of these books, I felt as if I were on a slow boat. I never wanted to jump up and peer over the railings,(to see what was going to happen next,) but I was content to sit with the story and enjoy the ride.
Berg has a way of describing human emotion that is thought provoking, but my goodness do her plots need help. Former high school wallflower reconnects with random cool-guy crush as he's dying of cancer. Opens her home to his ex girlfriend, and falls for him even as he and the high school sweetheart are spending the night together in her apartment. Ex girlfriend leaves and crush admits to having feelings for nerd girl. They spend his last weeks/months together and she falls for him so hard that she wants to die with him. She's 51....not 20. It just all appeared too fabricated to be realistic. It was like the moral of the story was etched out and Berg worked overtime to form a plot around it that would see her vision come true. Sure, the protagonist was emotionally stunted...but that doesn't explain the huge jumps from stranger to "I will die for you" when this was a few months out of five decades of life. I just didn't buy it.
What a mixture of emotions I felt as this story ended. My heart broke and was uplifted at the same time. Berg translates the indescribable lessons one receives when attending the death of a loved one. So much sadness and letting go but such an uplifting experience and I really believe one that can’t easily be described or understood unless you go through it with your eyes and heart wide open. An amazing connection. The only part of this story that was left underdeveloped for me was the relationship and the letting go between Chip and his mother. I couldn’t reconcile her type of personality with the quietness she allowed Chip to move on with his life decisions and death wish. She too easily gave him away to another, this was unbelievable and a thing I don’t think I could have done. Maybe the truth is I never saw her as a big enough person to allow herself to let go.
I'm sending this one back to the library. I just couldn't connect with the main character, a woman who's still "in love" with some random popular boy from high school, despite the fact that she's now in her 40s. It would be one thing if she was presented in a slightly pathetic light so that the reader could pity her and maybe come to empathize a bit with regard to the weird and silly things we all secretly cling to, but no, she just came across as a confusing and unbelievable character.
This novel is a very poignant look at the end of someone's life, and how he or she can choose to die with dignity. It also shows us that we should never take our lives for granted, no matter how empty and pointless we think they are, because we always mean something to someone. I really enjoyed how Berg reassured her readers that dying isn't something of which to be scared, that making that transition is really a beautiful and meaningful thing.
The only thing that drew this story down a bit for me is the protagonist's insistence that she was ignored and overlooked throughout her life just based on her looks. As someone neither beautiful nor thin, I have a hard time with using that as an excuse for feeling unlovable.
I was not impressed with this book at all -- which is probably why it took me so long to get through it. At times I felt like I was reading a Harlequin romance (not that there's anything wrong with them, just no depth to them). Plus, nothing felt realistic to me. Seriously, just like that he falls in love with her? And, her job -- she becomes friends with every patient she sees? I don't think so. Sorry, but I cannot recommend this book.
Finished reading in bed last night and I was a tad worried I may have made a mistake. I was quite anxious about how the plot line was progressing…of course, really no need to worry because Berg, as always, made it all good…tucked me in, turned out the light, and sent me to sleep content with another lovely ending 😌
A touching story about what she believes to her her “ordinary” lonely life. She doesn’t realize her affect on her patients as a visiting nurse and comes to care for an old high school crush. This books brings to light how one person can truly change others lives . The description. Of how she felt about her life seemed to hit a little close to home. The characters and their lives felt so true to life. A beautiful read.
I love Elizabeth Berg's writing style! A master storyteller, her imagery is so vivid with innermost thoughts raw and emotional (and so funny)! Her characters come alive and their voices so authentic. Finding love, meaning, and second chances in the most unlikely of places.
NEVER CHANGE is about life, love, and loss. Myra is 51 yrs. old. Single, and a visiting nurse who lives alone with her dog Frank.
When the boy from her past, Chip is now a patient with a brain tumor, this may be her chance to spend time with him. A guy that never would have given her a second look previously. However, in the midst of tragedy, they may learn something from one another.
Words of wisdom and the true meaning of friendship (and a little romance).
I loved the mix of different personalities, (loved DeWitt) with much wit and humor to balance the sadness. Heartbreaking. Connecting with the past and letting go. Poignant, bittersweet, and thought-provoking. You will laugh and cry at the same time.
Catching up with some of Berg's older audiobooks I missed along the way—especially the ones with Elizabeth performing. For fans of Fredrik Backman.
Myra Lipinski is a middle aged home health nurse. She lives alone with her dog, Frank. She is reasonably satisfied with her life, but has never really put herself out there. When she is asked to be the nurse for Chip Reardon, her high school crush, old feelings resurface. Chip has a brain tumor and wants no more drastic treatment. It up to Myra to offer him comfort and guide him through the difficulties to come. While I enjoyed the book, I had mixed feelings about it. Myra's musings were often wistful and inspiring. I liked the tribute to nurses and the compassion they exhibit to all patients. But at times I found Myra's"Pollyanna" personality annoying. Myra was the mousy wallflower in high school, but she never, as an adult strived to blossom. She was too much a stereotype, blaming her looks for her failure in relationships. I also had some trouble with some of the decisions made by Chip and Myra. But the book is worth reading for the moments that are touching, poignant and humorous. Really 3.5 stars
My issue was that there is no way on this green earth this situation could have arisen. Professional boundaries are very important and exist for exactly this kind of scenario. Professional codes of conduct provide safety for all involved. This story line crossed so many boundaries Myra would in fact no longer have her license to practice well before Chip arrived on the scene.
It does however highlight the research findings that as many as 65% of health professionals do the job they do to gain self worth. Creating dysfunctional therapeutic relationships, however as one ages and develops insight into the sabotaging narrative bought to the job this statistic changes.
Hence once I decided to actively remove the real world I could enjoy this for what it was - a story. But definitely not Bergs best work. It scrapes into three star territory just and mainly due to the suspense created towards the end and several stunning one liners that took my breath away for their beauty and simplicity.
Elizabeth Berg is quickly becoming my new Jodi Picoult...I just can't put her books down!
I related to Myra in that I never felt "pretty" in high school and I was the person classmates would talk to with concerns they had, but I never felt part of the "cool" group...but for some reason Myra stayed stuck in that mentality instead of finding herself after high school (and thankfully, I did not...what a sad, sad life had I not!).
I did find it unusual (although I am not in the medical field) that Myra was that close with her patients and could bring friends along to appointments, but it did add to the story, so I can't complain even if that part of the book wasn't very realistic.
It's hard to go into much more detail without giving most of the book away, but this is definitely a good (and easy) read and although it does not cover as many controversial issues as a Picoult novel, I think it is still though-provoking enough to make it worth your while to read.
I loved this book from the very first page! I liked and identified with the characters right away. Be warned , you will cry, but in a good, therapeutic way! I believe almost everyone could identify with Myra because haven't we all felt like an outsider at some point in our lives? Lonelyness is a universal theme.
Myra is a home care nurse. She loves her job and she loves taking care of people in a practical hands- on kind of way. Now, Myra's new patient is also her high school crush, who is dying from a brain tumor. Myra has been a sort of loaner her whole life, unable or unwilling to allow herself to be close to anyone. Now she is single, middle aged, and comfortable with her life and her dog, Frank, for a companion. Everything changes when, Chip, handsome and ever popular with the girls shows up as her new patient. At its heart, this is a beautiful love story that examines the risks and benefits of having real relationships with people.
Prijeten roman. Malo čudno je to reči za roman, ki govori o smrti, o bolezni, umiranju, osamljenosti, ... a prav ta beseda mi je prišla na misel. Pisateljica se giblje na tankem robu med sentimentalnimi klišeji, patetiko in poglobljenim psihološkim orisovanjem ter ganljivostjo, a za moj okus ne zdrsne čez rob. Mogoče malo, proti koncu, a do takrat sem roman že vzljubila in ji nisem zamerila pretiravanja.
Myra je patronažna sestra srednjih let. Živi sama s psom Frankom. Celo življenje je bila osamljena, nesamozavestna, prepričana, da ni dovolj privlačna in zanimiva, da bi lahko našla partnerja. V srednji šoli ji je bil všeč Chip Reardon ... in prav Chip se po dolgih letih vrne v domači kraj, da bi umrl v hiši svojih staršev. Trpi za neoperabilnim tumorjem na možganih in Myra je zadolžena za paliativno pomoč na domu ...
Preprosto, nepretenciozno, nežno pisanje. Nič več in nič manj. Mene se je dotaknilo.
I really connected to this character - I like that Berg writes characters that are like REAL people, like someone you might even know. Maybe even yourself! Myra, the main character, never connected with people because she was afraid that she'd be rejected, so she just never really tried - and now, later in life, she's slowly realizing that what you've always thought isn't always what the reality is. I loved her dawning awareness of herself and how people view her, and realizing that it's not a bad thing! I loved her patients, all the quirks they had and the vastly different personalities and places in life; I loved Myra's dog, Frank - Berg just pieced together a great little story. It's nothing long, nothing earth-shattering, but enjoyable, well-written, with lovely, imaginative characters. Another winner for me!
In some ways this was a difficult book to read, dealing with serious issues about dying and loneliness. It is disturbing that a home care nurse would cross the line between personal and professional, but in a way that was the point. Her personal issues cloud her judgement. Her loneliness makes her reach out for personal attachments in inappropriate ways. Also a nurse, I found some of the ethical medical issues in the book unrealistic. I cannot imagine taking one patient to another patient's home, especially when the second patient is a drug dealer. However, it is a necessary plot point which becomes clear later. Overall, this was a thought provoking novel, with a lesson on reaching out and making connections.
4.5/5 stars The main character, Myra, is a nurse who took a job as a home health/visiting nurse after growing sick of working in the ICU. One of her new patients is the guy she had a crush on in high school. As they’re falling in love Myra struggles with accepting that Chip is capable of loving her. The story goes through their time navigating Chips health due to his brain tumor and learning how to love each other. This book was a great change from what I’ve previously read. I was STRUGGLING to not cry on the airplane. I took this book many years ago from a pile of books my mom wanted to donate and I’m so glad I took this one. What a beautiful story.
Truly enjoyed this book (written by a former nurse)...I like Myra, and would love to know her better.
Home-healthcare nurse that treats her patients with such dignity...they are her "family." Premise is a little fangled--old h.s. dying heartthrob comes back into a nurse's life as a client. Take it from there...It is the lessons Nurse Myra teaches via living that touch me.
p. 103 "I turn on the radio; tune it to the classical station. Did they dream the music they wrote, those composers? Did they rise up in the morning full of something that made them feel right at the center, then write out the notes and feel the slow release? And when they played it for the people they loved, did those people really hear it? I wonder sometimes about the nature of relationships, if anything that was once perfect in them is ever sustained. Every time I go to a restaurant alone, I feel a little sorry for myself until I see so many couples staring past each other, seemingly so without. Why enter into anything, when you end up scraping the bottom so soon? And yet the alternative makes for such sad echoes off the canyon walls of self, I know that."
p.130 A nursing home resident..."For meals, I sit at the same table with the same people every day. There’s one woman, Catherine, she's ninety-three, and I can go and have a cup of coffee with her--you know. But there's another woman with Alzheimer's and I've seen it progress so fast over the last year. I...well, I feed her, now. I mean, I literally feed her. It's so sad, I go and get something to cover her up, and then I just sit there with the spoon...I know the staff would feed her, but they're not very careful. I think she deserves more than that." (DC note: I'm a bit sensitive with my mom's dementia right now, so this struck me.)
p. 131 "I'll tell you. As soon as you give up your car, you're done for. Oh, you have some friends that say they'll take you out, but they get tired of it, and they fall off. Your world gets very narrow."
p. 140 "...to look into a dying person's eyes can show you a view beyond that does not frighten, but comforts. The heart settles in the Hand. "It's...I'm not afraid of dying people (...) I think there's a richness to that time of life. (...) to have the opportunity to say things that will b heard, finally, in a way they never would have been otherwise."
p. 162 "I put my fingers to his lips, to the curled cartilage of his ears. I touch the place where they cut his head, move deliberately along that line, as if to finally heal it." (I understand her motions here--reminds me of Scott's first cancer...how I would run my fingers--my left hand, loving with purpose to send energy--gently down his radiation burn, and he would hold me in amazement and say I was healing him.)
p. 182 "It's Sunday night. Tomorrow is Monday. Next comes Tuesday. I can't do anything about it, and I never could. I read once about an idea in physics that says time braches out into more than one dimension, so that what doesn't happen in one world may very well take place in another. It's an old habit, using thoughts to comfort me."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This was just a beautiful book. Not just another book about cancer. The characters drew me into the story and their struggles held me captive until the wee hours of the morning when I was sobbing uncontrollably and wanting the author to have written another ending. However, I wouldn't change the life lessons learned from this book and its cast of colorful characters. It is the next day and this book still breaks my heart. But what kitschy country song said "there is beauty in the breaking"? I highly recommend this book.
quite sure I read this several yrs. ago - but so worth reading again. Myra is a nurse, never married, never dated really - not a very attractive woman. Her newest assignment (visiting nurse) is taking care of the most popular, most beautiful guy from her high school years.. he has a brain tumor. (Chip Reardon)... She has always had a crush on Chip (didn't every girl?) and now he falls in love with her - but he is dying, they both know it - a beautiful love story, filled with characters - her other patients.... Myra learns alot about herself... I would read this one again!
Many, many moons ago I read this novel and absolutely adored it. It is beautiful and charming and life-affirming and heartbreaking. Fifteen years later, I related to it even more than I did the first time around. At fifty-one years old, Myra Lipinski has always lived alone. While she admits that her job as a visiting nurse and caring for her beloved dog, Frank, are fulfilling, she is also quietly unhappy. When a former classmate with terminal cancer becomes her newest patient, Myra’s life changes forever.