It was an interesting experience for me to read this book, since I have by now not been a member of a church since I was 28 and I am now near 63. Agnostic is how I identify my “religious faith” on Facebook. Depending on whom it is I talk with, I can teeter in different directions. The church I was raised to attend is the (Dutch) Christian Reformed Church, and my pastor was widely seen as the most conservative preacher in the Grand Rapids (MI) area. Every year I lived in my parents' house (yes, one only for 21 years) I was expected to attend two church services each Sunday, and until I figured how to escape some Sunday evening services with my friend Darrell to Russ’s Restaurant, I did so.
I was a pretty sensitive and inquisitive kid who—in part influenced by the various social upheavals of the sixties—began to Question Authority (that very bumper sticker), and by 15 (1968, almost Woodstock!) questioned my conservative, Total Depravity-based Calvinist upbringing by writing questions and concerns on my church bulletins (of which I still have several dozens). I began to “rebel,” though I still attended a tiny Christian College, and began my career as an English teacher in western Michigan Christian high schools, hoping to steer as many of my idealistic young students to follow me in Questioning the nature of True Religion, or, increasingly, just trying to help them figure out spirituality in part through reading and writing.
I married “into the faith” at 21 (!) but by the time I was 28 I had left the church, all traditions associated with it, lost my marriage and my teaching job, and spun a bit out of control for several years. I became the black sheep of my family for reasons I’ll keep private here, but suffice to say that Losing My Religion and the conditions under which I left my marriage severely challenged my family’s support for me. I left the area and never went back. My family was not as conservative as my church was, but they were and still are devout Christians, and though we all love each other as family, I always have this prodigality, this breach, that stands in a way between us.
I encountered the writing of Christian Iowan writer Robinson in my spiraling period. I picked up Housekeeping, read the first page or three, was taken by the quality of the writing immediately—I was in Schuler Books in Grand Rapids, I can recall having the book in my hands—and put it firmly down. I was moving away from this tradition, this kind of writing, someone with roots in the very religious tradition I was leaving. But many, many years later, I picked it up again, and began to read her work seriously. I didn’t know initially whether she wrote novels or tracts, but I always was committed to serious novels, for complexity, toward Doubt, and still am. The anguished Dostoevsky, Graham Greene of The Power and the Glory, and J. M. Coetzee were my models for Serious Literature about spiritual issues.
So I first began reading Robinson with Housekeeping, a strange and wonderful exploration of what I might call madness, though Robinson would never call it that. It’s the story of women living apart at the edge of a small western town. She was writing about women who were different, not fully integrated into society, perhaps strange, even eccentric, but they had their own kind of spiritual strength. She helped me admire these women. The writing is gorgeous and the haunting beauty of it is almost breathtaking at times. It brought me in contact with emotional touchstones that I had been largely missing for decades.
I took some time off after that book but bought all her other books, knowing I would spend some good long time with them, and listen to this woman and see if she had something to say to me. I next read Gilead, which as a prodigal son was in part about a prodigal son, a man, gone twenty years, who returns to Gilead, Iowa to see his real father, Rev. John Boughton, and who also returns to yet another kind of father-figure for him, Rev. Ames, a neighbor. The year is 1956, which doesn’t figure in so much as a time in this book as it does in Home. The struggle about religious traditions, about what insights it might have to offer Jack is fascinating to me, and the story of this returning reprobate—like me?—captured me.
The psychoanalytical literary theorist Shoshana Felman once wrote that the stories that most captivate you are essentially your autobiography, they speak to you and for you, they essentially ARE your story. The story in Gilead is narrated as a letter by the 77 year old Ames to his own very young son, another dimension of this father-son story, and in some ways I felt he was speaking in a fatherly way to me as well as to his young son and his sort of symbolic son, Jack.
So when I learned that Home was the second in the Gilead trilogy, and uniquely, tells of the exact same time period as Gilead but from Rev. Boughton’s daughter Glory’s perspective about her own homecoming at 38, and that of her prodigal brother Jack's homecoming, too, focusing even more on this father-prodigal-son story, I was interested. Glory is the good girl younger sister of bad boy Jack, who after 20 years comes home, as I said. But why? If you like to have answers to questions like that as soon as possible, this is the wrong book for you, because Glory and Jack and their father, who is nearing death, speak very little to each other. They are very careful with each other. Jack ran off once, and he just might do it again. 1/3 of the book passes and they are still just feeling their way with each other, learning to talk with each other in a house where talk of feelings is scarce in that Midwestern way.
The central themes of the book are chiefly theological ones, not surprising in a prodigal son retelling: forgiveness, grace, redemption. I understand them in theological terms—I went to church, I know my Bible, even after all these years—but as an agnostic, I want to translate these concepts into psychological terms somehow, too. What might forgiveness feel like? Can I forgive myself for earlier screw-ups? I'm not expecting others to do so. Is there an analogue to the Christian notion of grace that isn’t just escapism? When I was in free-fall self-destruction for a time, my own father forgave me always; he knew I was screwing up, but he was always there for me, defended me, loved me. That I understand through the lens of this book as grace, as fatherly forgiveness. I experienced self-imposed exile from my family for many years, but it was my exile, not my family’s, not theirs. They never separated themselves from me. I just left and never really went home.
They didn’t excuse me for my wrongs, but they loved me, nevertheless. It’s what family does, at its best, and I hope as a father I am learning this, too. I am sure I caused them shame and anxiety and many sleeplessness nights, but I didn’t think about that so much for a long time. Both father figures Ames and Boughton have trouble communicating their feelings to Jack, but they are essentially all about grace. Jack never has to earn forgiveness. He just gets it from them. In reading this, I came to appreciate my conservative and devout family in a way I hadn’t for years. They had offered me grace and I had rejected that as a fiction, as fantasy, as Jack does in dealing with his family, as badly as he needs it.
My Aunt Florence, the prodigal daughter of my mother’s Dutch Calvinist family—a flapper, an artist, a nudist! And SHE had to go to church THREE times on Sundays, the middle service exclusively IN DUTCH!—once told me she never believed in Hell, and I loved her for that (hoping it was a fiction I might avoid). Jack, in this story, represents the inverse of my Aunt Flossie. Jack may be forgiven by his family, but he can’t forgive himself. He seems to only believe in Hell, in perdition, for all the ways he has sinned. Two times Crime and Punishment’s Raskolnikov is mentioned in this novel, someone who thought he might be able to rise above guilt, but who nevertheless torments himself with it, and this is an interesting way to think about Jack’s view of himself. He’s sorry, he gets the forgiveness he doesn’t seek or feel he deserves from his family, but he can’t forgive himself.
The number of times Jack says “I’m sorry” or the times he expresses regrets for his failings is almost maddening in this novel, but one has to hear it as a form of poetic repetition, a litany, a song of grief. The language is almost thoroughly musical throughout, subtle. And the restraint in this book is amazing. What do you say about people who are so eager not to hurt each other that they say nothing to each other? 1/3 of this book passes before we learn really important information about Jack’s and Glory’s lost decades, and this is a good thing, because when it happens that we hear some detail, it has a kind of electric effect (I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but trust Robinson).
Jack was always in trouble as a kid, and he left Gilead 20 years ago, without explanation, missed his mom’s funeral, everything. It’s not until the end, in a huge (for me) emotional finish, that we get a little better picture of what has gone on. Secrets! Glory and Jack keep secrets. Yes, we look mostly at Jack in the story, but we learn Glory has her own undisclosed history, which becomes slowly revealed. Are they reprobate? Maybe, in religious terms, but as we get to know them, that’s not how we see them, as bad people. But they are lost, and mostly lost to themselves. It’s Glory’s cooking that maybe takes a central place in mooring the scenes to family, to traditions, but she is in some ways as unmoored as Jack is.
It isn’t until well into the book that the old man is seen as having a position on racial politics of the time that separates himself from Jack (and us). We like the old man, we sympathize with his pain of separation from his wayward, missing son, and we admire his typically gracious treatment of Jack, but we also begin to see some of the wedges he has created. Other family members come in to the story, slowly, so we can see Rev. Boughton’s point about the importance of family. You can’t live with family, and you can’t live without it. And the same goes for the notion of home in this book. You can't go home again, and you can never leave.
This is a meditation on forgiveness and grace, and it is also a meditation on fathers and sons. I am a son of a now dead father who is with me in a sense every day, in my interactions with my own sons. I appreciated the scenes where Jack plays catch with Rev. Ames’s young son Robby, Jack having lost a baby daughter in his youth. Fatherhood is a key theme in the book. God the Father is part of this father theme, too, as one might expect, though I don’t see it as preachy or too religious.
Does this book sound a little too pious and conventional for you? Maybe it is. But I challenge you to check out one of Robinson’s books. This novel, as part of a four novel tale, would be a good place to start. Housekeeping doesn’t deal with religion at all, and its not in this series, so maybe that’s a better one for most of you. But what might you like about Gilead/Home? The characters, so carefully and lovingly etched, including the anguished Jack, smiling that awkward smile in his despair, prodding his own scars, the anguished Rev. Boughton, and his dutiful and equally anguished daughter, Glory. All of them are too often all too caught up in small town propriety, maybe, but then they break free from those strictures.
But it’s the language, each sentence powerfully constructed, and the storytelling, with its narrative symmetries throughout, that sets Robinson apart. Passionate symmetries, design echoing a larger design for the universe, perhaps. But if you think as a non-religious person that Jack is somehow diminished in any way by the Gilead faithful, or by Robinson herself, you are wrong. Robinson loves these people, and like Rev. Boughton of his son, maybe Robinson loves her Jack the very most. She understands him as much as she understands any of the characters in the book.
I was very moved by this book. We all have those skeletons, maybe. Unresolved issues. Maybe this is useful for getting at those. Was for me. And some of the scenes! The scene where Glory finds Jack in the barn later in the book is as anguished and powerful a scene as I have experienced in a novel lately. But then, I repeat, the book is about me as much as it is about Jack.
Lila, the title of the third book in the trilogy, is Rev. Ames’s young wife. She’s the least educated, the most intuitive, and she speaks insightfully and with common sense in the midst of all these smart, articulate readers of literature, theology, the Bible. The third book in the Gilead trilogy has Lila narrate. I'm so in.