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Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding Our Darker Selves
Working with the Shadow is not working with evil, per se. It is working toward the possibility of greater wholeness. We will never experience healing until we can come to love our unlovable places, for they, too, ask love of us. How is it that good people do bad things? Why is our personal story and our societal history so bloody, so repetitive, so injurious to self and others? How do we make sense of the discrepancies between who we think we are—or who we show to the outside world—versus our everyday behaviors? Why are otherwise ordinary people driven to addictions and compulsions, whether alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, infidelity, or the Internet? Why are interpersonal relationships so often filled with strife?Exploring Jung’s concept of the Shadow—the unconscious parts of our self that contradict the image of the self we hope to project--Why Good People Do Bad Things guides you through all the ways in which many of our seemingly unexplainable behaviors are manifestations of the Shadow. In addition to its presence in our personal lives, Hollis looks at the larger picture of the Shadow at work in our culture—from organized religion to the suffering and injustice that abounds in our modern world. Accepting and examining the Shadow as part of one’s self, Hollis suggests, is the first step toward wholeness. Revealing a new way of understanding our darker selves, Hollis offers wisdom to help you to acquire a more conscious conduct of your life and bring a new level of awareness to your daily actions and choices.
284 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2007
188 people are currently reading
2188 people want to read
About the author
James Hollis
60 books960 followersJames Hollis, Ph. D., was born in Springfield, Illinois, and graduated from Manchester University in 1962 and Drew University in 1967. He taught Humanities 26 years in various colleges and universities before retraining as a Jungian analyst at the Jung Institute of Zurich, Switzerland (1977-82). He is presently a licensed Jungian analyst in private practice in Washington, D.C. He served as Executive Director of the Jung Educational Center in Houston, Texas for many years and now was Executive Director of the Jung Society of Washington until 2019, and now serves on the JSW Board of Directors. He is a retired Senior Training Analyst for the Inter-Regional Society of Jungian Analysts, was first Director of Training of the Philadelphia Jung Institute, and is Vice-President Emeritus of the Philemon Foundation. Additionally he is a Professor of Jungian Studies for Saybrook University of San Francisco/Houston.
He lives with his wife Jill, an artist and retired therapist, in Washington, DC. Together they have three living children and eight grand-children.
He has written a total of seventeen books, which have been translated into Swedish, Russian, German, Spanish, French, Hungarian, Portuguese, Turkish, Italian, Korean, Finnish, Romanian, Bulgarian, Farsi, Japanese, Greek, Chinese, Serbian, Latvian, Ukranian and Czech.
He lives with his wife Jill, an artist and retired therapist, in Washington, DC. Together they have three living children and eight grand-children.
He has written a total of seventeen books, which have been translated into Swedish, Russian, German, Spanish, French, Hungarian, Portuguese, Turkish, Italian, Korean, Finnish, Romanian, Bulgarian, Farsi, Japanese, Greek, Chinese, Serbian, Latvian, Ukranian and Czech.
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March 28, 2021
"Expressed in its most functional way, the Shadow is composed of all those aspects of ourselves that have a tendency to make us uncomfortable with ourselves." pg 9
Jungian analyst James Hollis examines "shadow work" from the perspective of an individual to couples then communities and all the way up to the collective unconscious.
He's at his best when he's illuminating how the Shadow works at an individual level. When he goes beyond that into couples or groups, I thought he began to generalize to the point where the book was no longer helpful on a practical level and moved more into the realm of philosophy.
Hollis brought the book back into the self help genre by providing a final chapter full of questions for "reflection" by the reader. The purpose of this inner gazing is not just self knowledge, says Hollis, but also wholeness at a soul level.
"This book operates from a central thesis that is relatively unknown to the general public but is a truism for depth psychology, namely, that the human psyche is not a single, unitary, or unified thing, as the ego wants to believe. It is diverse, multiplicitous, and divided... always divided." pg xi, preface.
I read Why Good People Do Bad Things in conjunction with a philosophy class off of The Great Courses Plus called "Understanding the Dark Side of Human Nature" by Daniel Breyer. The two complemented each other quite well.
"Can the reader imagine that something inside you wishes to 'talk' to us? As a result of this conversation, consciousness is strengthened, new energies are available, and each person lives a richer life, one that is more authentically one's own." pg 192
This isn't what I would call a 'fun' read. In fact, I had to take Why Good People Do Bad Things in sections, put it down for awhile, and come back to it, again and again.
I don't mind self knowledge. I've done dozens of meditations where I look at aspects of myself and come back with a different understanding of who I am than before I started.
The difficulty is looking into the bits that I don't want to see. Like I said, I can manage it in small doses. It isn't somewhere I'd want to live.
It is understandable why so few attempt Shadow work. It is much easier to scapegoat others, blame, and feel superior to them." pg 203
Recommended for any seekers who are looking for a psychologist's take on Shadow work. This book might be the push that you need to brave that darkness. But beware, there's someone in there who may have been waiting to talk to you for a long time and you might not like what they have to say.
Jungian analyst James Hollis examines "shadow work" from the perspective of an individual to couples then communities and all the way up to the collective unconscious.
He's at his best when he's illuminating how the Shadow works at an individual level. When he goes beyond that into couples or groups, I thought he began to generalize to the point where the book was no longer helpful on a practical level and moved more into the realm of philosophy.
Hollis brought the book back into the self help genre by providing a final chapter full of questions for "reflection" by the reader. The purpose of this inner gazing is not just self knowledge, says Hollis, but also wholeness at a soul level.
"This book operates from a central thesis that is relatively unknown to the general public but is a truism for depth psychology, namely, that the human psyche is not a single, unitary, or unified thing, as the ego wants to believe. It is diverse, multiplicitous, and divided... always divided." pg xi, preface.
I read Why Good People Do Bad Things in conjunction with a philosophy class off of The Great Courses Plus called "Understanding the Dark Side of Human Nature" by Daniel Breyer. The two complemented each other quite well.
"Can the reader imagine that something inside you wishes to 'talk' to us? As a result of this conversation, consciousness is strengthened, new energies are available, and each person lives a richer life, one that is more authentically one's own." pg 192
This isn't what I would call a 'fun' read. In fact, I had to take Why Good People Do Bad Things in sections, put it down for awhile, and come back to it, again and again.
I don't mind self knowledge. I've done dozens of meditations where I look at aspects of myself and come back with a different understanding of who I am than before I started.
The difficulty is looking into the bits that I don't want to see. Like I said, I can manage it in small doses. It isn't somewhere I'd want to live.
It is understandable why so few attempt Shadow work. It is much easier to scapegoat others, blame, and feel superior to them." pg 203
Recommended for any seekers who are looking for a psychologist's take on Shadow work. This book might be the push that you need to brave that darkness. But beware, there's someone in there who may have been waiting to talk to you for a long time and you might not like what they have to say.
October 9, 2011
This book is a companion guide, a blurry map if you will, for anyone gutsy and stupid enough to honestly try to become a more self-aware, less destructive person.
I'm almost done and love this book. I went searching to see why it only has 3.6 stars and realized that several of the 1 and 2 stars were from people who hadn't actually read the book. What I can surmise is that this book isn't for the average American douchbag who's looking to throw away a few more hours of their life pretending they are going to become rich, beautiful, likable, etc just by reading a book.
I'm almost done and love this book. I went searching to see why it only has 3.6 stars and realized that several of the 1 and 2 stars were from people who hadn't actually read the book. What I can surmise is that this book isn't for the average American douchbag who's looking to throw away a few more hours of their life pretending they are going to become rich, beautiful, likable, etc just by reading a book.
October 26, 2010
Superb book. Definitely one of Hollis' best works. Hollis offers a clarion call to spiritual and psychological maturity. There are no simple, one-dimensional answers here, but instead an invitation to "know thyself" and take the inward path less traveled, where few have the courage or encouragement to trod. Every page offers insights that I could mull over for years, offerings of healing and wholeness to our banished selves.
Quotes that are resonating within me:
"The Shadow is the landfill of the self. Yet it is also a sort of vault: it holds great, unrealized potentialities within you." Joseph Campbell
"We are here to meet our summons, OUR summons, on the road of personal brokenness, doubt, despair, defeat, cowardice and contradiction, with only scattered moments of luminosity. There, when from time to time we meet ourselves, when we meet our Shadow, there we are most fully in the game, most completely in the arena in which meaning is won or lost, and life more fully lived." Hollis, p. 234
"Thus, our Shadow work is an invocation to us, a calling forth, and carries the germ of our possible wholeness. The first place to look for Shadow is 1) where our fears are found, 2) where we are most ugly to ourselves, or 3) for the many daily deals we make, the adaptations, and the denials that only deepen the darkness. This challenging paradox remains: We will never experience healing until we can come to love our unlovable places, for they, too, ask love of us." Hollis, p. 235
"Nothing really important will prove simple. Denial and shallowness never prove worthy of what Socrates called "the examined life." The examined life will oblige us to consider that all issues, ALL issues, have more than one facet to consider, that our capacity for self-delusion is very strong, that "we" are always part of the problem, and that we will ultimately walk right into what we have fled, sooner or later. What is wrong with saying, 'I do not know; I do not possess certainty; I think this is a fascinating journey and I am open to discovery?' Why should this simple confession require so much courage?" Hollis, p. 201
I look forward to repeated readings of this "eyes wide open", unflinchingly honest book.
Quotes that are resonating within me:
"The Shadow is the landfill of the self. Yet it is also a sort of vault: it holds great, unrealized potentialities within you." Joseph Campbell
"We are here to meet our summons, OUR summons, on the road of personal brokenness, doubt, despair, defeat, cowardice and contradiction, with only scattered moments of luminosity. There, when from time to time we meet ourselves, when we meet our Shadow, there we are most fully in the game, most completely in the arena in which meaning is won or lost, and life more fully lived." Hollis, p. 234
"Thus, our Shadow work is an invocation to us, a calling forth, and carries the germ of our possible wholeness. The first place to look for Shadow is 1) where our fears are found, 2) where we are most ugly to ourselves, or 3) for the many daily deals we make, the adaptations, and the denials that only deepen the darkness. This challenging paradox remains: We will never experience healing until we can come to love our unlovable places, for they, too, ask love of us." Hollis, p. 235
"Nothing really important will prove simple. Denial and shallowness never prove worthy of what Socrates called "the examined life." The examined life will oblige us to consider that all issues, ALL issues, have more than one facet to consider, that our capacity for self-delusion is very strong, that "we" are always part of the problem, and that we will ultimately walk right into what we have fled, sooner or later. What is wrong with saying, 'I do not know; I do not possess certainty; I think this is a fascinating journey and I am open to discovery?' Why should this simple confession require so much courage?" Hollis, p. 201
I look forward to repeated readings of this "eyes wide open", unflinchingly honest book.
August 14, 2025
Холис винаги е добра идея.
March 2, 2014
For some time, I have been trying to find a good book on Jung's concept of the shadow - one that outlines the underlying idea, but then gives you the apparatus to try and explore the shadow. This was better than any other book I've read so far, but was still not the book. At times I found it to be long-winded and a little rambling. It was erudite, but attempted too much in too short a space of time. I gathered insights, but did not feel I was guided into an intimate connection of working with the shadow. If the final chapter (Shadow/Work) had been longer, and much of the philosophically ambitious middle had been excised, it would have rated better on my scale.
For the benefit of reflection, I note that the points raised in the final chapter - subtitled "Encountering OUR Darker Selves - were:
1. Since we all aspire to virtue, or aspire at least to consider ourselves virtuous, what do you consider to be your virtues? Can you imagine the opposite of your virtues? Can you imagine that they would lurk in your unconscious? Can you seem some place in the present, or in your history, where those opposites may in fact be manifest in your life?
2. What are the key patterns of your relationships? That is to say, where do Shadow issues manifest in patterns of avoidance, aggression or repetition?
3. What annoys you most about your partner, or others in general?
4. Where do you repeatedly undermine yourself, create harmful replications, produce the same old, same old? Where do you flee from your best, riskiest self?
5. Where are you stuck in your life, blocked in your development? What fears, what familiar issues block your growth?
6. Where do Mum and Dad still govern your life - through repetition, overcompensation, or your special treatment plan?
7. Where do you refuse to grow up, wait for magical solutions to the raggedy edges of life, expect rescue, or someone to step forth and take care of it all for you? Where is the guru who will make these choices easy for you?
p.101 What a strange paradox this is, then, that the Shadow summons of tolerating ourselves is directly linked to the Shadow challenge of tolerating the otherness of the Other. Who'd have thunk?
p.103 Becoming psychological requires that we continuously reflect on the twin dynamics that are forever at work beneath the surface of all relationships, namely, projection and transference. Any content of the unconscious may be projected onto the Other at any moment. Moreover, the dynamics associated with that content, and its archaic history, will be transferred to the Other as well.
For the benefit of reflection, I note that the points raised in the final chapter - subtitled "Encountering OUR Darker Selves - were:
1. Since we all aspire to virtue, or aspire at least to consider ourselves virtuous, what do you consider to be your virtues? Can you imagine the opposite of your virtues? Can you imagine that they would lurk in your unconscious? Can you seem some place in the present, or in your history, where those opposites may in fact be manifest in your life?
2. What are the key patterns of your relationships? That is to say, where do Shadow issues manifest in patterns of avoidance, aggression or repetition?
3. What annoys you most about your partner, or others in general?
4. Where do you repeatedly undermine yourself, create harmful replications, produce the same old, same old? Where do you flee from your best, riskiest self?
5. Where are you stuck in your life, blocked in your development? What fears, what familiar issues block your growth?
6. Where do Mum and Dad still govern your life - through repetition, overcompensation, or your special treatment plan?
7. Where do you refuse to grow up, wait for magical solutions to the raggedy edges of life, expect rescue, or someone to step forth and take care of it all for you? Where is the guru who will make these choices easy for you?
p.101 What a strange paradox this is, then, that the Shadow summons of tolerating ourselves is directly linked to the Shadow challenge of tolerating the otherness of the Other. Who'd have thunk?
p.103 Becoming psychological requires that we continuously reflect on the twin dynamics that are forever at work beneath the surface of all relationships, namely, projection and transference. Any content of the unconscious may be projected onto the Other at any moment. Moreover, the dynamics associated with that content, and its archaic history, will be transferred to the Other as well.
December 31, 2021
О ЧЕМ КНИГА:
Холлис разбирает в своей книге одно из ключевых понятий теории Юнга - понятие «Тени». Наша Тень несёт в себе всё то, что я хочу отвергнуть в других людях и во всём человечестве.
Задача каждого - как можно полнее открыть свою Тень для сознания и разобраться с ней, так как Тень влияет не только на нашу жизнь, но и жизнь окружающих нас близких людей. Холлис разбирает все области нашей личной и общественной жизни в которых мы встречаемся с Тенью и показывает, как понимать такие ситуации и обратить столкновения с Тенью себе на пользу.
ГЛАВНАЯ МЫСЛЬ КНИГИ:
Элементы нас самих, которые мы отвергаем, которых боимся, отрицаем и можем проецировать на другого называются Тенью. При этом наши теневые стороны - это не обязательно зло, а просто то человеческое, что есть в каждом из нас. Всё это бурлит внутри нас и в любой момент может вырваться наружу.
ЗАЧЕМ ЧИТАТЬ ЭТУ КНИГУ?
Для того, чтобы понять свою Тень и стать самому себе психологом. Это большая работа, которая требует непрерывности внимания и усилий.
МЫСЛИ И ВЫВОДЫ ИЗ КНИГИ:
- Проекция - это то, что задевает меня и то, что я не понимаю в другом, но хочу в нём поменять.
- «Я человек, и ничто человеческое мне не чуждо» (Теренций). Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto.
- «Можно знать и в три года, а не делать даже в восемьдесят».
- Жизнь изначально противоречива и конфликтна, и любое мировоззрение, которое стремится обойти эти противоречия, идет на заведомый обман.
- Наша способность увидеть что-то от Тени внутри себя обостряет и умение распознавать теневые действия вокруг нас.
- Вот в чем парадокс исцеления от своих патологий - освободиться от них можно только постоянно оказывая внимание и уважение к тому, о чем они говорят нам.
- Зрелые отношения - те, в которых каждая сторона принимает ответственность за индивидуацию партнера. Любовь требует независимости обеих сторон, свободы, отсутствия контроля и вины, принуждения и манипуляции.
- Мы сами - единственная константа всех возможных отношений.
- Прочность отношений не может быть выше уровня зрелости каждой из участвующих сторон. Зрелость - это не обязательно функция возраста и житейского опыта.
- Для развития внутренней жизни и работы со своей Тенью надо обзавестись психологическим складом ума.
ЧТО Я БУДУ ПРИМЕНЯТЬ:
Буду становиться самому себе психологом)
ЕЩЕ НА ЭТУ ТЕМУ:
Дэвид Дотлих, Питер Кейро "Темная сторона силы»
Холлис разбирает в своей книге одно из ключевых понятий теории Юнга - понятие «Тени». Наша Тень несёт в себе всё то, что я хочу отвергнуть в других людях и во всём человечестве.
Задача каждого - как можно полнее открыть свою Тень для сознания и разобраться с ней, так как Тень влияет не только на нашу жизнь, но и жизнь окружающих нас близких людей. Холлис разбирает все области нашей личной и общественной жизни в которых мы встречаемся с Тенью и показывает, как понимать такие ситуации и обратить столкновения с Тенью себе на пользу.
ГЛАВНАЯ МЫСЛЬ КНИГИ:
Элементы нас самих, которые мы отвергаем, которых боимся, отрицаем и можем проецировать на другого называются Тенью. При этом наши теневые стороны - это не обязательно зло, а просто то человеческое, что есть в каждом из нас. Всё это бурлит внутри нас и в любой момент может вырваться наружу.
ЗАЧЕМ ЧИТАТЬ ЭТУ КНИГУ?
Для того, чтобы понять свою Тень и стать самому себе психологом. Это большая работа, которая требует непрерывности внимания и усилий.
МЫСЛИ И ВЫВОДЫ ИЗ КНИГИ:
- Проекция - это то, что задевает меня и то, что я не понимаю в другом, но хочу в нём поменять.
- «Я человек, и ничто человеческое мне не чуждо» (Теренций). Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto.
- «Можно знать и в три года, а не делать даже в восемьдесят».
- Жизнь изначально противоречива и конфликтна, и любое мировоззрение, которое стремится обойти эти противоречия, идет на заведомый обман.
- Наша способность увидеть что-то от Тени внутри себя обостряет и умение распознавать теневые действия вокруг нас.
- Вот в чем парадокс исцеления от своих патологий - освободиться от них можно только постоянно оказывая внимание и уважение к тому, о чем они говорят нам.
- Зрелые отношения - те, в которых каждая сторона принимает ответственность за индивидуацию партнера. Любовь требует независимости обеих сторон, свободы, отсутствия контроля и вины, принуждения и манипуляции.
- Мы сами - единственная константа всех возможных отношений.
- Прочность отношений не может быть выше уровня зрелости каждой из участвующих сторон. Зрелость - это не обязательно функция возраста и житейского опыта.
- Для развития внутренней жизни и работы со своей Тенью надо обзавестись психологическим складом ума.
ЧТО Я БУДУ ПРИМЕНЯТЬ:
Буду становиться самому себе психологом)
ЕЩЕ НА ЭТУ ТЕМУ:
Дэвид Дотлих, Питер Кейро "Темная сторона силы»
February 5, 2021
نحن نركض إلى الأبد في ظلنا ، ونعتقد أنه شيء هناك يمكننا أن نبتعد عنه. مع كل إسقاط ظل ، ينمو اغترابنا المحتمل عن الواقع بسرعة ؛ كلما ألقينا عيوبنا على الآخرين ، زاد ارتباطنا برؤية مشوهة للواقع.
نادرًا ما يكون العالم ، ونادرًا ما يكون الآخر ، كما كنا نتوقعه بالضبط . تم شن الحروب ، وإقامة العلاقات الرومانسية ، وتأسيس العلاقات والتعثر في توقعات الظل ، وبعد ذلك يتساءل المرء عما كان يدور حوله.
كم عدد الذين تكلموا بالسوء على الأميرة ديانا ، حزنوا على فقدانها المفاجئ ، وبعد ذلك علموا بحياتها المتشابكة والمعذبة؟ أليس هذا هو إسقاط الظل لحيواتهم الدفينة ، بحثهم عن السحر ، هروبهم من المساءلة الشخصية التي هبطت على هذه الروح الفقيرة المضطربة؟
ما الذي تغذيه النميمة والحسد أيضًا إن لم يكن هروبنا من أنفسنا؟ ما لا نعرفه أو نخشى الاعتراف به يؤذينا في الواقع ، ويؤذي الآخرين أيضًا. كما سنرى لاحقًا ، غالبًا ما يكون الشخص الذي يتلقى إسقاط الظل للآخرين - سواء أكان هستر برين من الحرف القرمزي ، أو ساحرات سالم ، أو شياطين لودون ، أو يهود بولندا ، أو الشواذ ، أو مجموعة أخرى من شهداء اللاوعي - سيتم تشويهه أو صلبه أو تهميشه أو تسميمه بالغاز أو حرقه أو تجاهله. هم حاملو حياتنا السرية ، ولهذا فإننا نكرههم ونشتمهم وندمرهم ، لأنهم ارتكبوا أبشع الجرائم. إنهم يذكروننا ببعض جوانب أنفسنا التي لا يمكننا تحمل رؤيتها. للأسف ، كلما ضعفت حالة الأنا ، زادت صعوبة هذا الاستدعاء ، وزادت احتمالية "الحكم القاطع" على الآخرين ، أي التعصب الأعمى والتحيز.
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James Hollis
Why Good People Do Bad Things
Translated By #Maher_Razouk
نادرًا ما يكون العالم ، ونادرًا ما يكون الآخر ، كما كنا نتوقعه بالضبط . تم شن الحروب ، وإقامة العلاقات الرومانسية ، وتأسيس العلاقات والتعثر في توقعات الظل ، وبعد ذلك يتساءل المرء عما كان يدور حوله.
كم عدد الذين تكلموا بالسوء على الأميرة ديانا ، حزنوا على فقدانها المفاجئ ، وبعد ذلك علموا بحياتها المتشابكة والمعذبة؟ أليس هذا هو إسقاط الظل لحيواتهم الدفينة ، بحثهم عن السحر ، هروبهم من المساءلة الشخصية التي هبطت على هذه الروح الفقيرة المضطربة؟
ما الذي تغذيه النميمة والحسد أيضًا إن لم يكن هروبنا من أنفسنا؟ ما لا نعرفه أو نخشى الاعتراف به يؤذينا في الواقع ، ويؤذي الآخرين أيضًا. كما سنرى لاحقًا ، غالبًا ما يكون الشخص الذي يتلقى إسقاط الظل للآخرين - سواء أكان هستر برين من الحرف القرمزي ، أو ساحرات سالم ، أو شياطين لودون ، أو يهود بولندا ، أو الشواذ ، أو مجموعة أخرى من شهداء اللاوعي - سيتم تشويهه أو صلبه أو تهميشه أو تسميمه بالغاز أو حرقه أو تجاهله. هم حاملو حياتنا السرية ، ولهذا فإننا نكرههم ونشتمهم وندمرهم ، لأنهم ارتكبوا أبشع الجرائم. إنهم يذكروننا ببعض جوانب أنفسنا التي لا يمكننا تحمل رؤيتها. للأسف ، كلما ضعفت حالة الأنا ، زادت صعوبة هذا الاستدعاء ، وزادت احتمالية "الحكم القاطع" على الآخرين ، أي التعصب الأعمى والتحيز.
.
James Hollis
Why Good People Do Bad Things
Translated By #Maher_Razouk
December 5, 2012
If you are in mid-life and haven't read James Hollis, I've given you a huge gift. He has many books, each amazing on their own, but as a body of work, truly impressive. I've read all of his books. I've never been disappointed. He is a Jungian analyst who speaks clearly to everyone.
In person, James Hollis is as good as he was on paper. He is an interesting man, from the first page, to the last, he teaches us about who we are and where we might be going.
Understanding our shadow, personal and collective, is vital for our culture and our future as a people. This book is a good beginning.
In person, James Hollis is as good as he was on paper. He is an interesting man, from the first page, to the last, he teaches us about who we are and where we might be going.
Understanding our shadow, personal and collective, is vital for our culture and our future as a people. This book is a good beginning.
January 12, 2021
I read this book the week that Trump supporters stormed The Capitol in an attempt to overthrow the democratically-elected President-elect Joe Biden (January 2021).
Hollis’s profound exploration of Jung’s concept - particularly as regards the extreme dangers of the unacknowledged Shadow lurking in all of us as individuals as well as large organisations such as governments and organised religion have proved eerily prescient.
Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding Our Darker Selves is not an easy or comfortable read, but it’s an essential read for anyone brave enough to begin the journey into the underworld of their personal, individual shadow.
Unflinching in its assessment of the human psyche, filled with highly relevant literary allusions and almost lyrical in style, James Hollis’s Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding Our Darker Selves is a book deserving multiple readings for a full appreciation of its complexities and wisdom.
Here are only 3 of the many quotes that resonated deeply as I read:
“Because life, with all its possibilities, all its decisions, is so huge, we cling to the small, and hope the Other will spare us the task of growing up. But, since they do not, cannot, and should not, we are angry with them. This is Shadow material, for it feeds on that which lies within us, that which makes us uncomfortable with ourselves, that which intimidates us.”
“There are four categorical ways in which the Shadow manifests in our lives. They are found when the Shadow remains unconscious, albeit active in our lives; is disowned by being projected onto others; usurps consciousness by possessing us; or broadens consciousness through recognition, dialogue, and assimilation of its contents.”
“Love becomes a Shadow task for us all when it 1) asks more of us than that which makes us comfortable, 2) asks us to examine our own complexes and regressive imagoes, and 3) asks a greater generosity of spirit than we consider comfortable.”
Hollis’s profound exploration of Jung’s concept - particularly as regards the extreme dangers of the unacknowledged Shadow lurking in all of us as individuals as well as large organisations such as governments and organised religion have proved eerily prescient.
Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding Our Darker Selves is not an easy or comfortable read, but it’s an essential read for anyone brave enough to begin the journey into the underworld of their personal, individual shadow.
Unflinching in its assessment of the human psyche, filled with highly relevant literary allusions and almost lyrical in style, James Hollis’s Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding Our Darker Selves is a book deserving multiple readings for a full appreciation of its complexities and wisdom.
Here are only 3 of the many quotes that resonated deeply as I read:
“Because life, with all its possibilities, all its decisions, is so huge, we cling to the small, and hope the Other will spare us the task of growing up. But, since they do not, cannot, and should not, we are angry with them. This is Shadow material, for it feeds on that which lies within us, that which makes us uncomfortable with ourselves, that which intimidates us.”
“There are four categorical ways in which the Shadow manifests in our lives. They are found when the Shadow remains unconscious, albeit active in our lives; is disowned by being projected onto others; usurps consciousness by possessing us; or broadens consciousness through recognition, dialogue, and assimilation of its contents.”
“Love becomes a Shadow task for us all when it 1) asks more of us than that which makes us comfortable, 2) asks us to examine our own complexes and regressive imagoes, and 3) asks a greater generosity of spirit than we consider comfortable.”
December 14, 2020
This book was recommended to me as self-help psychology literature. But I believe it is not exactly self-help, as it does not include the action steps and suggestions on personal development. James Hollis covers the patterns we have in our subconsciousness. Especially the dark ones. This book is about what leads people to take negative actions. It is about why fundamentalists are fundamentalists and much more. In the end of the book James Hollis put the list of the questions that are worth asking yourself. I enjoyed this book as I learnt many new things about aspects of history and religion. It was certainly worth my time.
November 6, 2017
I read this while preparing a talk about the Dark Feminine who, I argue, primarily resides in our Shadow in Western culture. I found many parts of this book engaging and illuminating, and at times quite painful, especially the chapters on the collective and institutional shadow, in light of the downward spiral of the US government under Trump. How I wish more people were willing to engage Shadow work. It could be so beneficial to us all.
February 18, 2023
This is pretty academic and philosophical (I skimmed some bits) but there were a couple of chapters that I found fascinating and incredibly thought provoking.
October 28, 2023
Good book that teaches you about the concept of having inner shadow, and how to live with this shadow.
The best 20 pages are at the end.
The best 20 pages are at the end.
April 21, 2024
i think i am falling in love with this book.
But how?!
How can a book be that good to change my life?!
gooooodddddd
i love it
But how?!
How can a book be that good to change my life?!
gooooodddddd
i love it
November 26, 2024
Wow, this book is a masterclass presentation of learning about the shadow! It is well written, organized and succinctly in point.
This is the first book that I've read from Dr. Hollis, and it will not be the last. However, it is important for me to state that within the first 30 pages it initially seemed far too academic, technical and much deeper than desired. Unless you are a student of physiology then this book is not a casual read but rather a collegiate level undertaking.
If you desire to know yourself, your shadow and other people's struggles better this book is a very good one to read, likely more than once.
This is the first book that I've read from Dr. Hollis, and it will not be the last. However, it is important for me to state that within the first 30 pages it initially seemed far too academic, technical and much deeper than desired. Unless you are a student of physiology then this book is not a casual read but rather a collegiate level undertaking.
If you desire to know yourself, your shadow and other people's struggles better this book is a very good one to read, likely more than once.
April 13, 2021
рассуждение о темной стороне человека, и возможных причинах
November 24, 2022
This is probably the best book dealing with Jungian Shadow Work that I've ever read. That said, it's really, really for a particular crowd. While I do think most folks who are fairly edicated could get something out of it, there are times when the author expects, I think, too much back knowledge. I'm a scholar, and I have a very solid education, and there were places that were stretches even for me. The author is brilliant, but when he refers to a book and expects the reader to know the meanings of the characters names to fully understand what he's saying, it gets a bit much. (example: he expects the reader to understand the two meanings of Mephistopheles' name--not loving light/not loving Faust, both having a shadow meaning but different nuance. He doesn't say this, but then makes inferences as though the reader knows why this character and this reference). I would absolutely recommend this, to the right audience. If you don't like the beginning stick with it. Even if you only read chapter 5, it's worth it.
December 22, 2018
Книгата ще бъде по-лесно разбрана от хората с "членска книжка на интроверт", както авторът казва по свой адрес. Обаче ще е особено трудна за "предъвкване" точно от интровертите, чието верую е хедонизмът като (не-)осъзната житейска философия и ежедневен ритуал. За онези, които нямат склонност "да задълбават" или "твърде много да ги мислят нещата", съм спокоен - нещо толкова банално, каквото са около 250 подвързани страници, няма силата да хвърли Сянка върху земната им Едемска градина.
Играта на думи тук е задължителна...
Ето един цитат, в който според мен се съдържа есенцията на книгата: "Рано или късно ще се окажем задължени да се изправим пред следния парадокс: Тъй като Сянката е съставена от това, което аз не искам да бъда, моята най-дълбока, най-непокорна Сянка ще се намира в това, което аз най-много искам да избегна, а именно - да стана аз. Това, което се стремя да избегна, съм самият аз - тъй като начинанието ми изглежда твърде рисковано, натоварва ме със задачи, които са твърде дълбоки, че да ми дават уют. И тогава откриваме, че всички наши трудности с Другия започват и включват Другия, който се намира вътре в нас.".
Играта на думи тук е задължителна...
Ето един цитат, в който според мен се съдържа есенцията на книгата: "Рано или късно ще се окажем задължени да се изправим пред следния парадокс: Тъй като Сянката е съставена от това, което аз не искам да бъда, моята най-дълбока, най-непокорна Сянка ще се намира в това, което аз най-много искам да избегна, а именно - да стана аз. Това, което се стремя да избегна, съм самият аз - тъй като начинанието ми изглежда твърде рисковано, натоварва ме със задачи, които са твърде дълбоки, че да ми дават уют. И тогава откриваме, че всички наши трудности с Другия започват и включват Другия, който се намира вътре в нас.".
July 14, 2014
I liked the many references to other authors books.
Has some truth in it,but very repetitive, the same points stated over and over again and gets boring. If the book was half its size it's message would still be adequately conveyed.
Feels a bit patronizing, as if one was being lectured to.
Sometimes offers naive generalizations while presenting complex problems then redeems itself by calling things by it's name. Good to know that author it awake and in touch with reality.
Using Germans as perfect example of the ultimate evil is safe, nobody will contradict that. Since them and before, there were many genocides carried out, but it's not acknowledged adequately here.
Relies heavily on the same old same quotes from others, Jung, Freud, Shakespeare, Jung again, Jung again..........aren't there any other authors one can go to when substantiating ones point.
I learned the meaning of weird words like: unctuous persona, marauding brigand,teetotaler or dyad, which aren't even in Websters dictionary, so all is well......:)
Has some truth in it,but very repetitive, the same points stated over and over again and gets boring. If the book was half its size it's message would still be adequately conveyed.
Feels a bit patronizing, as if one was being lectured to.
Sometimes offers naive generalizations while presenting complex problems then redeems itself by calling things by it's name. Good to know that author it awake and in touch with reality.
Using Germans as perfect example of the ultimate evil is safe, nobody will contradict that. Since them and before, there were many genocides carried out, but it's not acknowledged adequately here.
Relies heavily on the same old same quotes from others, Jung, Freud, Shakespeare, Jung again, Jung again..........aren't there any other authors one can go to when substantiating ones point.
I learned the meaning of weird words like: unctuous persona, marauding brigand,teetotaler or dyad, which aren't even in Websters dictionary, so all is well......:)
October 25, 2018
Одна з тих книжок, які даються важко, але сильні за силою свого впливу. Багато про Тінь та те, чому ми такі, які є, чому ми можемо робити те, що видається нам поганим, або як зрозуміти близьких та друзів, що саме керує ними в їхньому житті.
"Теневая работа потребует героических усилий: принять ответственность за себя, расти самим и, как следствие, требовать и ожидать меньшего от своих партнеров. Это даст им ту свободу, которой бы мы хотели и для себя, – свободу иметь отличные вкусы, свои отличные программы развития, своих друзей и так далее. Много ли отношений соответствуют этой задаче зрелой дифференциации? Но более всего теневая работа в контексте отношений требует от нас понимания, что все, что плохо в окружающем мире, плохо и в нас самих. Мы будем уже не так склонны ранить своего партнера, презирать соседа, ненавидеть врага, если признаем, что делим с ними общие условия, общий комплекс устремлений и общую склонность ошибаться. То, что кажется нам ненавистным в Другом, – то же мы ненавидим и в себе."
"Теневая работа потребует героических усилий: принять ответственность за себя, расти самим и, как следствие, требовать и ожидать меньшего от своих партнеров. Это даст им ту свободу, которой бы мы хотели и для себя, – свободу иметь отличные вкусы, свои отличные программы развития, своих друзей и так далее. Много ли отношений соответствуют этой задаче зрелой дифференциации? Но более всего теневая работа в контексте отношений требует от нас понимания, что все, что плохо в окружающем мире, плохо и в нас самих. Мы будем уже не так склонны ранить своего партнера, презирать соседа, ненавидеть врага, если признаем, что делим с ними общие условия, общий комплекс устремлений и общую склонность ошибаться. То, что кажется нам ненавистным в Другом, – то же мы ненавидим и в себе."
July 4, 2022
This book is about the Shadow, which Hollis says "is composed of all those aspects of ourselves that have a tendency to make us uncomfortable with ourselves. The Shadow is not just what is unconscious, it is what discomforts the sense of self we wish to have." He talks several times about the different views of Western and Eastern religions in this context. I found the chapters on The Collective Shadow and The Institutional Shadow especially interesting. The final chapter provides seven questions for Shadow work reflection. This is my second Hollis book, for a book group. He is not easy to read, but I had a lot of notes, so I clearly took something with me after reading this. It's a journey.
March 18, 2009
What I really loved about this book was the fact that it pointed out that bad things are done by all kinds of people for all sorts of reasons. That's important to remember, especially in a society when opinion radio and tv is all the rave. We have a tendency to get beside ourselves about what we'd never do. Bad things are bad things.
May 19, 2009
I got to page 17 and had to put it down. About 75% of what I read was composed of rhetorical questions and hypothetical scenarios. Interesting topic, Freud and Jung's concept of the shadow, but I really disliked the lack information provided on the actual topic. In peaking through the rest of the book I saw that nothing was going to change so I have to give it two thumbs down.
November 12, 2011
I love Dr. Hollis. First, even though he is Jungian, he doesn't feel the need to insult Freud or his ideas, and even cites Freud at times. I found that attitude refreshing. Second, Dr. Hollis takes the concept of the Shadow and makes it clear and understandable. I am definitely ready to encounter and embrace the ideas in this book.
January 11, 2016
I find James Hollis's books very helpful, this one is no exception. It is no small matter to face and claim the darkness inside. It is no easy feat to stop blaming others for failing to do the work we all must do for ourselves. I keep reading these books because I need to hear this message over and over again to keep myself engaged in the work of growth and wholeness.
Read
March 19, 2008Great topic with occasional helpful points but poorly written. Way too many quotations and sideline references. Not organized well or presented in an accessible tone. I felt like I was reading a bad novel part of the time.
Read
June 28, 2007Great book for understanding the unconscious processes of self and others, as well as, the social collective unconscious.
May 23, 2020
My take on this book varied widely as I read it. Partly, this was just my own vicissitudes as I read it in short bursts over a long period of time.
This is probably not a very efficient way to consume such as weighty topic.
Still, my initial expectation was for something more like a general diagnosis of societies ills rather than a personal attack on the readers character.
I say this not in criticism. What I took away from it is far more useful and enlightening than what I expected.
The key theme for me was that (spoiler alert) we, as everyday humans, live life superficially, attributing all of it’s ups and downs to either fate/magic/Divine intervention or to the character flaws of someone else whether they be family or acquaintances. In the author’s very researched and deeply considered views, life’s ups and downs are our own reaction to “Shadow” complexes that we have developed more or less subconsciously to avoid dealing with much more difficult problems. The solution is “Shadow Work” of dissecting the trends in our behavior, looking for complex causes and acknowledging them as part of us, not the ambiguous “Other” who is trying to bring us down.
Basically, we have to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with ourselves, and do this often.
This sounds like a cheesy self help book but in fact, its extremely well researched. Truisms from every religion, philosophy, and various fictional accounts (e.g. Conrad, Camu, and Dostoevski ) are coordinated to validate the deeper concepts of human behavior. He leans particularly hard on Jung.
So it’s worth the time to think about how this book might help you be a better person, live a life of less internal conflict, and empathize with others who behave poorly.
I only gave it 3 stars because of the authors style of asking lots of rhetorical questions and tendency to overwork some concepts in my opinion.
Or it may be my dark shadow personality traits reacting to my own lack of accomplishment ;^)
-jgp
This is probably not a very efficient way to consume such as weighty topic.
Still, my initial expectation was for something more like a general diagnosis of societies ills rather than a personal attack on the readers character.
I say this not in criticism. What I took away from it is far more useful and enlightening than what I expected.
The key theme for me was that (spoiler alert) we, as everyday humans, live life superficially, attributing all of it’s ups and downs to either fate/magic/Divine intervention or to the character flaws of someone else whether they be family or acquaintances. In the author’s very researched and deeply considered views, life’s ups and downs are our own reaction to “Shadow” complexes that we have developed more or less subconsciously to avoid dealing with much more difficult problems. The solution is “Shadow Work” of dissecting the trends in our behavior, looking for complex causes and acknowledging them as part of us, not the ambiguous “Other” who is trying to bring us down.
Basically, we have to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with ourselves, and do this often.
This sounds like a cheesy self help book but in fact, its extremely well researched. Truisms from every religion, philosophy, and various fictional accounts (e.g. Conrad, Camu, and Dostoevski ) are coordinated to validate the deeper concepts of human behavior. He leans particularly hard on Jung.
So it’s worth the time to think about how this book might help you be a better person, live a life of less internal conflict, and empathize with others who behave poorly.
I only gave it 3 stars because of the authors style of asking lots of rhetorical questions and tendency to overwork some concepts in my opinion.
Or it may be my dark shadow personality traits reacting to my own lack of accomplishment ;^)
-jgp
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 20, 2025
Working with ambitious & high-performing clients has made it clear to me that someone's motivation as an adult is strongly shaped by their childhood experiences
James Hollis spells this out:
Childhood wounding creates core insecurities, beliefs, and habit patterns that lead to harm for ourselves, and –importantly–other people too.
So a cycle forms
Childhood wounds shape parents who then wound children. On and on.
For me the most relevant take-away is that childhood wounding creates negative forms of motivation (Either 'EXTERNAL' motivation e.g. succumbing to social pressure, or 'INTROJECTED' motivation e.g. covering up insecurity, avoiding blame/guilt).
One task of maturation is to heal the wounds of childhood so that a human can achieve while being fuelled by positive forms of motivation (identified, integrated, and intrinsic motivation).
Without healing, achievement will always come hand in hand with negativity.
It doesn't have to be that way. But instead of healing, we're riddled with projections, repressions, reaction formations, displacement, denial, intellectualizations...
These defence mechanisms block the pain of the wound, but also block inner work.
But eventually:
"You will be obliged to disassemble the many forces you have gathered to defend against your wound. At this late date it is these defenses, and not the wound, that cause your discomfort and arrest your journey. But removing those defenses will oblige you to feel all the discomfort of that wound again."
James Hollis spells this out:
Childhood wounding creates core insecurities, beliefs, and habit patterns that lead to harm for ourselves, and –importantly–other people too.
So a cycle forms
Childhood wounds shape parents who then wound children. On and on.
For me the most relevant take-away is that childhood wounding creates negative forms of motivation (Either 'EXTERNAL' motivation e.g. succumbing to social pressure, or 'INTROJECTED' motivation e.g. covering up insecurity, avoiding blame/guilt).
One task of maturation is to heal the wounds of childhood so that a human can achieve while being fuelled by positive forms of motivation (identified, integrated, and intrinsic motivation).
Without healing, achievement will always come hand in hand with negativity.
It doesn't have to be that way. But instead of healing, we're riddled with projections, repressions, reaction formations, displacement, denial, intellectualizations...
These defence mechanisms block the pain of the wound, but also block inner work.
But eventually:
"You will be obliged to disassemble the many forces you have gathered to defend against your wound. At this late date it is these defenses, and not the wound, that cause your discomfort and arrest your journey. But removing those defenses will oblige you to feel all the discomfort of that wound again."
December 28, 2020
Hollis presents a modern contextualization of Carl Jung’s psychological concept of the Shadow, the unconscious elements of our personality that our ego does not identify with, to explain how our history and repeated patterns of behavior can cause harm to ourselves and others if not properly recognized and worked on. In illustrating the discrepancies that exist in our lives, the ones between who we think we are and what the world sees, Hollis examines how the concept of the Shadow grows within our inner selves to impact the world of our outer selves. By outlining how everyone has a Shadow, as well as the concept of a collective Shadow when thinking of large societal groups and communities, Hollis demonstrates how this unchecked energy can manifest itself in the forms of risky behavior, diseases, and addiction. According to Hollis, the only way to minimize the damaging effects of the Shadow is to recognize when it surfaces, through familiar feelings and behaviors, recognizing where they come from, and reflecting why they are surfacing again. By recognizing and understanding this darker element within ourselves and the modern world, Hollis provides a rough and general framework in how to examine one’s self and acquire a new level of awareness and consciousness of how we conduct out lives.
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