The Voice of the Heart: A Call to Full Living

by Chip Dodd

Profoundly insightful, The Voice of the Heart offers a deeper understanding of how to live an abundant life. Chip Dodd teaches us how to begin to know our hearts so that we better know ourselves and are better equipped to live in relationship with others and, ultimately, with God. Included with the book is a audio compact disc. It provides additional teaching on the Spiritual Root System, particularly how feelings play a vital role in our emotional and spiritual maturity.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Faith, Christianity, Christian Living, Counselling, Self Help

151 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2001

About the author

Chip Dodd is a teacher, trainer, author, and counselor, who has been working in the field of recovery and redemption for over 25 years. It is the territory in which people can return to living the way we are created to live-where we can move from survival to living, from isolation to loving, and from controlling to leading. After receiving his PhD in counseling from the University of North Texas, he founded a treatment center, The Center for Professional Excellence (CPE) in Nashville, dedicated to helping people be who they are made to be, so they can do what they are made to do.

Reviews

[Brent · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book came highly recommended but I had trouble getting into it. Part of it was the writing style and part of it was the lack of support included to justify Dodd's conclusions.

When you put forward counter-intuitive claims like that there are only eight emotions, and that seven of them, although considered to be negative, are in fact good and healing, you kind of have to explain that. You need to show what leads you to that conclusion and why we should join you in supporting it. Every book is part of a conversation rooted in the context of its society and the ideas that it draws from as well as the ideas it puts forth. Not even in the Christian market, where you can justify just about anything if you cite the right verses, can you put forward an unsupported stand-alone revelation.

There are nuggets of really good stuff in this book but you have to have to work at digesting them and evaluating them against the standard wisdom. The author needs to take a note from Gladwell and other writers of apple-cart-upsetting non-fiction and include references, footnotes or at least some logic or reasoning behind his conclusions.

[Lindsey Lopez · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of few books I’ve read on emotions. Lots of engaging and new thoughts. His lack of scripture use and quoting other reputable references left it feeling a little experiencial and opinion based. However I don’t think it’s a bad place to start or a book to add in your discovery of emotions and what their significance is. He definitely leaves lots of space and freedom to feel and taking responsibility for the emotion that is provoked. Describing the pitfalls and health of the emotions, left me with much to consider. If you’ve grown up with denying your feelings and shoving them down this would be a great book to help you own and be honest with these vulnerable emotions and how God fulfills our deepest longings.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, wow, wow! I picked up this book after hearing about it on The Walk in Love Podcast with Brooke and TJ Mousetis and I'm glad I took the time to read this! The Voice of the Heart is about how acknowledging, processing and letting ourselves feel our 8 emotions (hurt, loneliness, sadness, anger, fear, shame, guilt and gladness) in a HEALTHY way leads to an abundant life. It sounds like a wild concept that 7 out of 8 emotions sound negative, but the way the author breaks them down is really eye opening.

A really long quote :)
"Hurt speaks to our desire for healing and wholeness

Loneliness speaks to our desire for relationship

Sadness speaks to our desire to honor and value what matters to our hearts

Anger speaks to our desire to risk and accept pain in order to achieve

Fear speaks to our desire to be prepared, choose wisely and succeed

Shame speaks to our desire to have abundant life in the understanding of our limitations & to serve something greater than ourselves

Guilt speaks to our desire to be reconciled and unburdened so we can live in the freedom of forgiveness

Gladness comes as the result of our willingness to experience our whole hearts in successes or failures. Gladness speaks to the gratification of having our desires fulfilled and even to our willingness to have desire itself."

[Gary Patton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every male over the age of 18 should read Chip Dodd's book. We need it to be set free from the lies we've been taught about "feelings".

This primer will set your heart free ...if you're willing!

R-E-A-L men have and demonstrate heart! (Relational - Engaging - Authentic - Life-giving) ~ © gfp '42™)

Blessings in Jesus all!

GaryFPatton
2014-08-27

[Catherine Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book walked through 8 feelings (hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame, guilt, glad). We read this as a group of women & upon first glance most of us were discouraged by the amount of “bad” emotions listed. Dodd explains that none are bad & they’re all good & we were like yeah sure right of course….but now I see it! For example, the good of guilt is what shows us that we’ve done something wrong or harmful & points out to us the desire we have for right relationship with others. Guilt leads us to asking for forgiveness & seeking to maintain unity again. Each emotion has a good & bad side to it, but the emotions themselves are helpful & revealing if we truly experience them.

I myself am someone who tends to stuff emotions for fear of feeling sad, angry, etc. This book helped me to see that full living is experiencing these things & that the result is being truly glad! I would recommend this book because it does show you that emotions are good things & I think that’s helpful for those with both lots of emotions & fewer emotions to know & understand.

The book for sure included aspects of giving these things to God & acknowledges that only God can change us, but I wouldn’t say the pages were laced with biblical examples, reasonings, or Scriptures, so do with that what you will.

“If you are not capable of giving others the truth of your heart, then you will give them lies.”

[Brother Brandon]

For seminary.

[Lydia Guetzko · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess my question is where did the content of this book come from? The Bible? Other studies?

I liked some of the stuff in it and there are some good quotes I will keep, but it just felt more like the author’s opinions than anything.

[Sarah Iranpour · Rating 4 out of 5]

wow. this book is a gift to my heart, life, and relationships.

would have given it 5 starts except I’m still confused as to where he got the 8 feelings from LOL.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I actually started this book back in March. It fell into my hands because God basically put in there. The first night I was at Destin with Cru, a young man felt the need to loan it to me for the week. "Read as much as you can while you're here; I still need it back."
Being a bookie myself, I felt honored to have a complete stranger loan me his book. I took his urgency seriously, and read a little each day. I didn't end up reading the whole thing, but God orchestrated that I read exactly what I needed to when I needed to so He could show me something. It was a beautiful way to spend my week.
Here I am, several months later, and I've finished it. Once again, God has orchestrated when/where I read in order to teach me something.

The book is literally a call to full living. Having experienced all of negative sides of the feelings Chip Dodd talks about, I had built a wall around my heart. With sincerity and love, Chip explains the beauty behind feelings, the truth about their importance, and how to feel your feelings in a God honoring way.
With a grateful heart towards the young man who loaned me the book and Chip Dodd for sharing his gift and being a mouthpiece, I highly recommend this read to anyone at any age.
"Life is a journey of progress, not perfection." -page 103

[Olivia Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book perfectly summarized (and expounds upon!) my 8 months of intensive ministry-based schooling on emotional health. It was incredible and worth every moment stolen in this busy season to read and be nourished by the words. I deeply value Chip Dodd’s vulnerability, eloquence, and courage in writing this book!

[Darla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended by our pastors and I found it to be very enlightening. I realize how much I need to open up my heart to others and to God and am thankful for the hope we have in Christ.

[Phil VanOsdol · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ll start by saying I love the concept for this book and the main idea is transformational- totally had the potential for 5⭐️. The idea that feelings are actually gifts and if allowed to be experienced can produce life in us is something I’m learning right now. In my opinion, I think it could have been better as a blog post or a podcast//TED talk. The “Gift of Feelings Chart” in the back of the book really sums up everything needed to conceptually grasp the authors framework. The book format was much too repetitive and unnecessary.

I really wanted to love the book but the author’s writing style was just not it for me. Many parts felt like I was reading an unedited journal entry. Examples given felt very poor and were honestly hard to relate to. There are several times when huge generalization statements come from left field with no evidence or explanation.

Overall concept 5⭐️
Overall execution 3⭐️

[Joey Carton · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book lays out a great framework for understanding emotions: Their existence, purpose, and intended spiritual use. The passion, vision, and conviction that God placed on Chip's heart is evident. Where the book fails to me is translating that passion in a way that it will inspire others. I have been taught this framework in distilled settings, and I think that is the better experience. There is no need for most of the "fluff" that fills the book out to 160 pages. I believe this book serves a better purpose as a reference tool, than something to read through front to back, no matter how slow you take it.

If you understand the feelings, how they can be impaired, and the gift they provide then you have everything you need to do the practical work Chip discusses. I think the most valuable parts of the book outside of the chart are the chapters where he is only laying out his vision and hope: Preface, intro, and conclusion.

[Annie VandenBerg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not gonna lie, I didn’t LOVE this book. Sometimes just felt like a lot of pretty words strung together that I couldn’t connect to. But I do see the need for this book and would recommend to anyone learning how to healthily experience fullness of life through emotion! There were also a few gold nuggets that I’ll be taking with me.

“Fulfilled of heart or “blessed” are the “poor in spirit” because they will become people who face the depth of their hunger to live fully as emotional and spiritual creatures. Those who have found lasting gladness have faced life of life’s terms and have still held onto their hearts.”

[Stacy Myers · Rating 2 out of 5]

I hated this book. 🙈 I read it because my husband read it first and has found it very helpful in helping him identify and put feelings to into words. And for that, it’s why it gets 2 stars instead of 0. 🩷

I think there are way more than 8 base feelings. I didn’t like what he had to say about fear or shame. 🤷🏻‍♀️ And it’s so so so so feelings based that it comes across as sitting in a circle, holding hands and singing kumbaya. Not my jam. I understand. I get it. But i don’t like it. 🤣

Am I glad I read it? For my husband, yes. If I had read it just for me I would have donated it not too far in. It was so hard to wade through. 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[Kaycie LaGrone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Favorite quotes from the book:

Exposing a true desire is a tremendous act of vulnerability because it shows how much we want something. Revealing this much truth renders us naked.

Hope is the heart’s passion for life. It is the inextinguishable flame that illuminates our hunger for relationship.

Survival living is war against the heart.

While not everyone is trustworthy, distrust without discernment is a blanket rejection of everyone.

There is mysterious power in the fact that through the pain of hurt, you and I find deeper faith and greater strength.

To hope is to live from our hearts, and in living out of our hearts we find fulfillment.

[Baylee Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was pretty good. 4 stars instead of 5, simply because some of the book kept going over my head. I feel like, in order to truly comprehend everything Dodd is saying in this book, I would need to read and reread it several times for it to sink in. But I did enjoy what I understood, and I would definitely be interested in rereading to understand even more!

[Jackson Drakulich · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was what I wish Untangling Emotions from back in the day could’ve been. It does a great job at delineating emotions from conditions of the heart. I wish Dodd could’ve been a little less succinct with his evaluations of emotions and focused more on how we can find good out of them but all in all a great read.

[Megan White · Rating 4 out of 5]

When we leave our hearts unexplored, they become vulnerable to corruption by the very things we do to satisfy them. This book is a good introduction to taking ownership of our hearts and emotions. Explaining how living in the light before God, others, and ourselves brings us into the fullness of life and desire God created us for.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this book has a lot of good things to say. Several sections resonated with me especially the sections on anger, shame, and guilt. I'm not really sure where to progress from here or if it is simply something of an awareness piece.

[Reagan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 / Insightful at times, flat at others. Good launch point for discussion as we search to understand the things we feel.

[Madison Lamar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel very exposed but in an awesome, freeing way!

[Jack Heerema · Rating 1 out of 5]

Jesus got three sentences in the entire book, which for being a book about experiencing human emotions in a constructive way that God intended, is pretty embarrassing.

[Anabel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great quick read walking through how to live our lives fully through our emotions and how that brings us closer to who God made us to be.

[Savannah Flack · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid read about feeling your emotions in order to live fully!

[Brice Karickhoff · Rating 2 out of 5]

What a book. So many thoughts, so little time.

In the right hands and read through the right lens, this book is an eye-opening must-read. Definitely gave me a few lightbulb moments about my own past, my tenancies, and my emotions.

BUT I just disagreed with the book’s entire premise, and its definition of most emotions, and its approach to how we should think about our own emotions.

A handful of five star people in my life like this book, so giving it two stars is a little sketch. But I’m just listening to my heart like I’m supposed to!

[Jess Schurz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty theologically and psychologically thin at times, but a welcome invitation for the church to return to her roots of cultivating a rich, receptive interior life.

[Sarah Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was quite good. I enjoyed learning what Dodd describes as the 8 core feelings of true human living - how to use them for good and how they can be impaired in such a way to make them not good. Overall it was a very thought provoking book with many things I’ll be thinking about for a while.

The one thing I didn’t love…. I am not sure I agree at all with his definition of “healthy” shame in chapter 8. He uses it completely differently than almost anyone else in the psychology community and I don’t actually find that helpful for understanding. I’m not sure what word would be better used than “shame” for the purpose of his book - maybe an understanding of our limitations? But the word shame to build his framework around was to me utterly confusing. A different word would have been infinitely more helpful. He does talk about toxic shame and does a great job with it, but I don’t think that his delineation between healthy shame vs. toxic shame really worked. Though the practical gift of being limited (which is what he defines as healthy shame) is well presented and explained.

I was jotting down lots of quotes as I read this book, so here they are if you want to get a glimpse!:

Living fully means more than happiness, comforts, or thrills. You have the capacity to experience true joy, yet you are equally capable of grieving deeply while holding on to hope. Full life means you can expect great things in the midst of great loss. You can accomplish many good things while still needing to be forgiven for the harm that you have caused. (P. 15)

Many of us believe that the need for attention ends at adolescence, or that’s it’s just childish dependency. The truth is that the more mature of heart we are, the more we need to be tended to so that we may give more. The more deeply replenished we are, the more we have to give. (P. 19)

Desires are pure glimpses of who you’re made to be. If you are in contact with the depths of your heart, you will desire whatever is noble, pure, lovely, admirable, true, right, and excellent — and you will hunger to participate in creating these things. However, if you are ashamed of your desires or if you are defended against needing, then your desires will become corrupted and tarnished, and they will lead you to living in hopelessness, apathy, and resignation. (P. 19)

To risk hoping builds faith. (P. 22)

“That’s life.” This rationalization minimizes the true aches and woundings of life, allowing us to keep going. […] We consider ourselves “realists,” but actually we have hearts resigned to cynicism. (P. 26)

The tragic secret of survivors is that they don’t believe they have great inherent worth. They believe worth comes from performance, production, and the approval of others. (P. 28)

By self-esteem’s standards, my worth comes from my perception of your evaluation of me, or my evaluation of myself compared to you. We have replaced our innate sense of self-worth with a thing called self-esteem. We are actually made by God to have self-love. (P. 30)

You and I have eight core feelings. We cannot live in fullness without knowing these feelings. The paradox is that if we choose fullness, we also choose to experience pain. These are the eight feelings: hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame, guilt, glad. (P. 37)

Each feeling has its own specific purpose in helping us live life fully. Hurt leads to healing. Loneliness moves us to intimacy. Sadness expresses value and honor. Anger hungers for life. Fear awakens us to danger and begins wisdom. Shame maintains humility and mercy. Guilt brings forgiveness. Goodness proves hope of the heart to be true. (P. 39)

All emotional and spiritual healing comes through relationship. This truth can be an obstacle to healing because the very thing that heals us (relationship) is the thing that previously wounded us. (P. 44)

Harm occurs when we emotionally and spiritually wound another in order to prevent feeling the pain in our own hearts. It is most often exhibited when we cross the boundaries of another without genuine regard, concern, or love for that person. Hurt is the emotional and spiritual experience that tells us we are feeling emotional and spiritual pain. In healthy relationships there is a willingness to allow someone to feel their own pain, because we have genuine regard, concern, and love for that person. (P. 47)

Hurt is not just about what somebody did to me. It’s about taking ownership of how I feel about what happened to me. […] This responsibility does not mean that someone did not trigger our hurt. […] In order to have full life, we need to listen to our hurt and acknowledge our need for healing. The most intimate relationships are those in which we acknowledge to one another our vulnerability of hurt. […] Hurt moves the heart toward healing. Therefore, even if you’re living in hurt, you are better off in the hurt than to not have it at all. (P. 52-53)

Loneliness renders us vulnerable to our hunger for emotional and spiritual fulfillment, thus exposing us to all relationship needs. But in a world that screams negativity about dependency and glorifies self-sufficiency, loneliness is the feeling that we work hardest to avoid. The irony is that the more we work to avoid it, the more it occurs. And the more we work to hide it, the more we miss out on life. Loneliness is gratified only in intimacy. Without admitting loneliness, we are destined to remain in deep emotional and spiritual conflict. If we don’t address it, loneliness never stops whispering to us in the quiet moments. (P. 61-62)

Apathy is the opposite of love. It denies our loneliness and thus our need for intimate relationship. Many of us incorrectly believe that hate is the opposite of love. Hate is actually the passion of love that has been twisted against itself. Hatred exposes the depth of a wound and acts as a way to deny the hurt and sadness of how much something matters. Apathy, on the other hand, is our defiant attempt to deny the existence of the heart. The degree to which we have put apathy in the place of loneliness is the degree to which we place ourselves as separate from humanity and God. (P. 64-65)

Sadness is the feeling that speaks to how much you value what is missed, what is gone, and what is lost. It also speaks of how deeply you value what you love, what you have, and what you live. Sadness is proportional — the more sadness you feel after a loss, the more you value what is lost. (P. 69)

Self-pity is a way to avoid genuine sadness. It is a series of dialogues that go something like “Nothing ever goes right for me; no matter how much I try, things still turn out badly.” or “I’m always the one who has to sacrifice.” When we experience self-pity, we are unwilling to feel sadness. Rather, we use self-pity to defend against our sadness and avoid exposing our hearts. Self-pity is a way to escape the pain of sadness by trying to make others feel sadness us. […] Self-pity is an attempt to manipulate others into taking responsibility for our heart’s response and neediness. It’s an attempt to be valued, but with others doing all the work. (P. 72)

Anger is possibly the most important feeling we experience as emotional and spiritual beings because it is the first step to authentic living. It shows our yearning and hunger for life. Anger helps us pursue full life by exposing the substance, desires, and commitments of our hearts. Anger works to enhance relationships by building bridges of intimacy with others. You know who you’re in relationship with, their desires, their transparency, and authenticity. Angry people can be known because of their unwillingness to hide. (P. 79)

Anger is the energy of desire and the willingness to reach for the desire to be satisfied. It shows us, even comfort us with, what we care about. Authentic anger is a caring feeling, telling us that something matters. In fact, the energy of compassion is rooted in anger, the desire to make the pain we feel and see come to an end. Anger exposes what we value and expresses our willingness to do what is required to reach that value. (P. 80)

How many relationships have you seen come to an end because the individuals were unwilling to be angry enough to care and build a bridge? (P. 86)

Wisdom is essential to full life, and it begins by listening to fear. (P. 92)

Anxiety as a solution to fear is self-sufficiency — the refusal to need openly and to face how we are made. We would rather be miserable or make others around us miserable than expose our feelings. We would rather enlist others to quell our anxiety than face our own heart’s fears and our need for help. The self-sufficiency we use to stop fear produces more anxiety because in order to control anxiety we focus on preventing rejection, humiliation, failure, not being acknowledged for our achievements, not performing to someone else’s standard, not being loved, and all the things in our future we cannot touch. The solution of control over anxiety will inevitably increase anxiety because we cannot ever acquire enough control. (P. 100-101)

The empathy that is developed through [healthy] shame illuminates the truth of our human condition. We become vulnerable to considering ourselves exactly as we are: feeling, needing, desiring, longing, hoping creatures who succeed and fail, who need daily, who desire great things even though we may fall short of finding them, who long for a fulfillment we cannot completely obtain, and who have abundant hope that someday everything will be okay. (P. 112)

The amount of forgiveness I receive is directly related to my willingness to be fully truthful, exposed, and surrendered. (P. 125)

Whenever we genuinely seek forgiveness, we are free, whether the others forgive us or not. Conversely, if we still feel guilt after we have sought forgiveness, we need to listen to our hearts carefully to know what we are still hiding and what we still need forgiveness for. If the sense of guilt persists after honest searching, it’s probably not guilt. It is usually toxic shame telling us that we are bad, defective, incompetent, or unforgivable. Unlike guilt that gives us freedom, toxic shame increases the bondage of hopelessness. (P. 126)

Impaired relationships are characterized by the way in which members provide explanation or blame to avoid the feeling of guilt and the need for admission and forgiveness. (P. 130)

The deeper the harm before forgiveness, the deeper the relationship can be when forgiveness is granted. (P. 132)

Gladness is not about being happy or getting what we want. The word happiness finds its origins based in the word happenstance, which means that circumstances dictate our sense of well-being or serenity. Happiness controls externally. Gladness is about desiring deeply and having a willingness to walk through pain in the pursuit of the desire. The outcome of the desire doesn’t matter as much as living in the heart openly and truthfully. (P. 136)

Gladness can occur only as we face life of life’s terms. It requires us to honestly struggle and accept that life is chock full of mystery, revelations, joy, confusion, elation, tragic losses, powerful reunions, restorations, divisions, passions, and pains. Living life on life’s terms also requires us to recognize that we have very little control over it. When the walls around our hearts are broken down, we are set free to experience and choose full living. (P. 139)

We are sorely mistaken and misguided if we use the gift of feelings as permission to be pessimistic, hopeless, doubtful, antagonistic, resentful, self-pitying, or unfulfilled. (P. 140)

[Ietrio · Rating 1 out of 5]

Trademarked spiritualism. Amusing concept. But hey, people need to make a living. That's how religion spreads anyway.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Identify your feelings. Feel your feelings. Know the benefits and possible impairments of your feelings. Choose to glorify God with your heart.