Unbearable Weight is an analysis of the body in relation to culture. I expected to read about eating disorders and disordered body images, but instead discovered a new way of thinking about the body and culture. "Psychopathology, as Jules Henry has said, 'is the final outcome of all that is wrong with a culture.' " The author, Susan Bordo, takes "the psychopathologies that develop within a culture, far from being anomalies or aberrations, to be characteristic expressions of that culture; to be, indeed, the crystallization of much that is wrong with it." This is true, this is a way of thinking about culture that I very much appreciate. Watching Bordo analyze our collective body and weight obsessions and finding them to be an expression of "some of the central ills of our culture" is refreshing. Bordo speaks with frankness and certainty about issues that all women and many men will quickly grasp. She does not argue or persuade so much as she lays out, explains, and analyzes, providing the reader with a deeper understanding of what she has always, deep down, known. Being aware of something doesn't (ever, in my experience) mean you can escape it, though, so reading Bordo was quite healing and calming for me.
Bordo breaks down the personal and cultural effects of a society that is inundated with subtle and not so subtle messages about how your body should look. As we all know, these effects are devastating. This was published in 1993, and since then so much has changed; unfortunately, the external and therefore internal pressure to be thin and fit has become more intense, not less. We all know we shouldn't participate in self-loathing or body-bashing (I am, look, feel fat). Knowing we shouldn't do this only loads us with more guilt and negativity when we do it, especially since we are also told that being obsessed with superficial things such as appearance is vain and frivolous. Bordo provides much-needed breathing space for anyone who has internalized the onslaught of media images - let's not be angry at ourselves for our "imperfect" bodies or our obsessive thoughts about weight; let's externalize that anger and refocus the gaze not on ourselves but on the culture that produces these images and illnesses.
I found in Bordo's essays validation of many things I already thought and felt, and an in-depth exploration of many ideas I've been briefly exposed to over the years. Some of the ideas are the male gaze, the concept and truth of which fascinates me in itself and also because I feel that gaze constantly; psychopathology as the crystallization of a culture, a lovely phrase for an awesome idea; a heavy critique of postmodernism, which surprised me, as I've always equated postmodernism with leftist thought and leanings - and therefore feminism. Yet Bordo manages to free herself from postmodernism for the sake of feminism, or rather, for the sake of women. Our lives, the images we are constantly exposed to, are so dependent on social constructs and loaded historical meaning that to strip that meaning away and say it exists in a vacuum certainly does damage to the women who absorb the images and intuitively understand their meanings. To be told that they have no meaning is demoralizing to say the least. And so - away with you, postmodernism! Bordo's argument and conclusions are of course in no way so simplistic, but I like to simplify my life and so - away, postmodernism.
Bordo devotes a chapter to the regulation of pregnancy by the law, to the autonomy of the rights of fathers and fetuses while the agency of pregnant women is stripped away. This is interesting, but I prefer her ruminations on the idealization and demonization of the female body in our culture, and as a new mother I found it helpful to apply her ideas on woman to my experience as a mother.
First, the "archetypal image of the female: as hungering, voracious, all-needing, and all-wanting." Bordo quotes a young woman who says that " '...the anorectic is always convinced she is taking up too much space, eating too much, eating food too much. I've never felt that way, but I've often felt I was too much - too much emotion, too much need, too loud and demanding, too much there, if you know what I mean.' " I do know what you mean! And I'm sure most women do, too.
Add to this the "powerful ideological underpinning...for the cultural containment of female appetite: the notion that women are most gratified by feeding and nourishing others, not themselves." Our society "casts women as chief emotional and physical nurturer. The rules for this construction of femininity (and I speak here in a language both symbolic and literal) require that women learn to feed others, not the self, and to construe any desires for self-nurturance and self-feeding as greedy and excessive. Thus, women must develop a totally other-oriented emotional economy."
Let me speak to both her literal and symbolic meanings here. I nursed my daughter for 11 months. I did it because I knew it would make her healthy - which it has - but behind that was the feeling that it was what I should do, that I would fail as a mother if I did not provide her with milk for the first year of her life. Indeed, my breast mild dried up a month before her first year, and I was crushed with shame. I felt I had failed. Why did my milk dry up? I was working full-time, attending graduate school full-time, caring for and feeding an infant, and managing a house. I stopped feeding myself because I simply didn't have enough energy to prepare food. My mother often prepared meals for me - because, well, that's what mothers do; isn't that the sad point? - but all other requests for help went unmet. I didn't have the energy to cook, and then I simply didn't have the will to cook out of resentment that I wasn't being helped or being fed - and so I subsisted on pretzels and chocolate milk until my body had enough.
From all this follows the body issues that will arise from having a child - the soft belly, the deflated breasts that are so unacceptable in our culture and cause men and women such disgust that "mommy makeovers" - combination breast lifts, tummy tucks, liposuction, and vaginoplasty - are a growing trend after having children. How sad that there is no space in our culture for the image of a real, beautiful postpartum body. Unfortunately we instead have "the tantalizing (and mystifying) ideal of a perfectly managed and regulated self, within a consumer culture which has made the actual management of hunger and desire intensely problematic. In this context, food refusal, weight loss, commitment to exercise, and ability to tolerate bodily pain and exhaustion have become cultural metaphors for self-determination, will, and moral fortitude."
Bordo also speaks repeatedly, as some of the above quotes have touched upon, to the sheer amount of time and energy it takes to meet the standards set for us. "Yet, each hour, each minute spent in anxious pursuit of that ideal (for it does not come naturally to most mature women) is in fact time and energy taken from inner development and social achievement." She says that "through the exacting and normalizing disciplines of diet, makeup, and dress - central organizing principles of time and space in the day of many women....we continue to memorize on our bodies the feel and conviction of lack, of insufficiency, of never being good enough." Yet another reason to feel guilty? for me to feel bad for waxing my eyebrows and putting makeup on in the morning? Not necessarily. "Many, if not most, women also are willing (often, enthusiastic) participants in cultural practices that objectify and sexualize us." Yet "feminist cultural criticism is not a blueprint for the conduct of personal life...and does not empower (or require) individuals to 'rise above' their culture or become martyrs to feminist ideals." The goal is edification and understanding. Excellent - because I don't plan to stop with the makeup or the obsessive grooming that takes time and energy away from my participation in the real world. I am deeply enmeshed in our culture and the expectations it has of me. I don't plan or expect to escape, but I do have a deeper understanding of myself, my body issues, and will actively resist the "temptation" to become hard and plastic.
The reviews on the back cover, as well as the foreword to the 10 year anniversary edition, claim that Bordo is jargon-free. Nope. No, she's not. Unless you're steeped in academia, this book won't be a breeze; but Bordo does write clearly, and her ideas contain the sort of depth and complexity and appreciation for nuance that make my mouth water. They make me...hungry. Totally worth it.