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Love Me, Hate Me
"No player in the history of baseball has left such an indelible mark on the game as San Francisco Giants outfielder Barry Bonds. In his twenty-year career, Bonds has amassed an unprecedented seven MVP awards, eight Gold Gloves, and more than seven hundred home runs, an impressive assortment of feats that has earned him consideration as one of the greatest players the game has ever seen. Equally deserved, however, is his reputation as an insufferable braggart, whose mythical home runs are rivaled only by his legendary ego." In Love Me, Hate Me, author Jeff Pearlman offers a searing and insightful look into one of the most divisive athletes of our time. Drawing on more than five hundred interviews - with former and current teammates, opponents, managers, trainers, friends, and outspoken critics and unapologetic supporters alike - Pearlman reveals, for the first time, a wonderfully nuanced portrait of a prodigiously talented and immensely flawed American icon whose controversial run at baseball immortality forever changed the way we look at out sports heroes.
371 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
57 people are currently reading
711 people want to read
About the author
Jeff Pearlman
18 books576 followersJeff Pearlman is an American sportswriter. He has written nine books that have appeared on The New York Times Best Seller list: four about football, three on baseball and two about basketball. He authored the 1999 John Rocker interview in Sports Illustrated.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
July 12, 2023
Great book. I came in undereducated on Bonds' playing career, his reputation with the media (he seemed very friendly to Ray on Everybody Loves Raymond when I was 14), the steroid era of baseball, and the Hall of Fame. I got the level of education I was hoping for on every topic from a Pearlman-standard highly entertaining read. All sides of the thorny mess of Bonds' reputation are acknowledged, with fair evidence and argument on both sides of how to view his legacy.
I do wish the book had come out after Bonds was done breaking the HR record and done playing, but I understand you can't sit around and wait for an unknown period of time.
This is the fourth book of Pearlman's that I've read, and aside from being a great storyteller, I think two things make his books great:
1. His level of research is truly exhaustive. He interviewed Barry Bonds' father's little league baseball coaches! The quotes, anecdotes, and sport results from the obscure corners of history make this book likely the closest to the "Barry Bonds truth" that any can get without having Bonds on the record (and on truth serum). That level of effort builds a credibility when it's time for Pearlman to editorialize, where he does not hold back. You may not agree with his opinion, but you cannot argue that it's an ignorant one.
2. His writing is laced with a dry, biting humor that I love. I chuckle audibly when reading his books. I feel like Pearlman would be the first to say "you know it's just sports, right?" If someone hated his work.
I do wish the book had come out after Bonds was done breaking the HR record and done playing, but I understand you can't sit around and wait for an unknown period of time.
This is the fourth book of Pearlman's that I've read, and aside from being a great storyteller, I think two things make his books great:
1. His level of research is truly exhaustive. He interviewed Barry Bonds' father's little league baseball coaches! The quotes, anecdotes, and sport results from the obscure corners of history make this book likely the closest to the "Barry Bonds truth" that any can get without having Bonds on the record (and on truth serum). That level of effort builds a credibility when it's time for Pearlman to editorialize, where he does not hold back. You may not agree with his opinion, but you cannot argue that it's an ignorant one.
2. His writing is laced with a dry, biting humor that I love. I chuckle audibly when reading his books. I feel like Pearlman would be the first to say "you know it's just sports, right?" If someone hated his work.
October 18, 2018
I'm a lifelong SF Giants fan, but never bought into the denials about performance-enhancing drugs. (Same with Lance Armstrong). I think the commissioner of baseball knew, as did the owners of the Giants. But baseball had been going through another fan lull and the league needed the home run to generate excitement and the Giants owners to fill their new ballpark. However, I always laughed at the hypocritical outrage these officials would express if someone got caught.
As for Bonds, he was a toxic combination of a highly gifted, but highly insecure athlete, who was very socially inept. Unfortunately, he got the wrong guidance and advice from Willie Mays, who Bonds called his godfather, and Bonds' own father, Bobby, who once played for the Giants. Both had experienced racism, particularly Mays, that made them bitter and defensive. They advised Barry to be the same.
The reporter has more than made his case. The examples pile up ad nauseam. Although he is honest about how black players were treated worse and often paid less than white players until the free agent market broke open.
This book has been around my house since my son read it when it first came out. I was prompted to pick it up because the Giants recently did a Barry Bonds Day, retiring his number. Ownership is pumping up the nostalgia for a team that won three titles, but is clearly declining with its aging and oft-injured veterans. Some of the bandwagon fans have never been through a down cycle, so we'll see how many show up at the ballpark a couple of years from now.
Meanwhile, about halfway through, I realized that the author is just a jealous prick. He's written other hits on other black athletes he envies. My guess is he wanted to be an athlete, but wasn't good enough, so settled for sports journalist. Not very glamorous and certainly not a ticket to the big bucks of the superstars. Meanwhile, who of us could sustain someone going over every moment of our lives, since Kindergarten, with a fine-tooth comb?
As for Bonds, he was a toxic combination of a highly gifted, but highly insecure athlete, who was very socially inept. Unfortunately, he got the wrong guidance and advice from Willie Mays, who Bonds called his godfather, and Bonds' own father, Bobby, who once played for the Giants. Both had experienced racism, particularly Mays, that made them bitter and defensive. They advised Barry to be the same.
The reporter has more than made his case. The examples pile up ad nauseam. Although he is honest about how black players were treated worse and often paid less than white players until the free agent market broke open.
This book has been around my house since my son read it when it first came out. I was prompted to pick it up because the Giants recently did a Barry Bonds Day, retiring his number. Ownership is pumping up the nostalgia for a team that won three titles, but is clearly declining with its aging and oft-injured veterans. Some of the bandwagon fans have never been through a down cycle, so we'll see how many show up at the ballpark a couple of years from now.
Meanwhile, about halfway through, I realized that the author is just a jealous prick. He's written other hits on other black athletes he envies. My guess is he wanted to be an athlete, but wasn't good enough, so settled for sports journalist. Not very glamorous and certainly not a ticket to the big bucks of the superstars. Meanwhile, who of us could sustain someone going over every moment of our lives, since Kindergarten, with a fine-tooth comb?
April 28, 2018
Barry Bonds certainly comes across as the ultimate fink in this carefully researched sports bio. However, author Jeff Pearlman has no new insights and fails to make a compelling case for whatever point he's trying to make. JUICED by Jose Canseco is a much more exciting book and reveals much, much more of the author's twisted mind!
July 29, 2021
"Love me, hate me - I don't give a f***" - Barry Bonds.
Though I grew up in the 1990s and have only vague memories of the professional world of sports like football and baseball, I do remember one man: Barry Bonds. I remember having a 2000 baseball card of his, which showcased this giant of a man with these superhuman home run numbers. I remember occasionally seeing one of his home runs on the news (like when he bear hugged my beloved Twins hero Torii Hunter after Bonds was robbed of a home run during the 2002 All Star Game). I also remember the relentless media coverage of Bonds during the BALCO steroid scandal. And, yes, I remember when both Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron's home run records fell to this man. I remember quite a bit about the man named Bonds.
Years later, when I read this book in search for the complete, hopefully unbiased, story of this new Home Run King, I was struck by this biography's title, and the featured quote found before the introduction. Bonds was in his own little world, both in respect to his baseball prowess and his relationship with the media and society in general. This quote of "love me, hate me" truly epitomizes who Bonds really was, and isn't part of some legacy-smearing agenda that this respected sportswriter, Jeff Pearlman, administered in this well-received book. No, this is an incredibly thorough and detailed look into the complete life and tale of a man who was destined to be the most complete all-around baseball player of his generation, if not of all time. As much as I loved Pearlman's other work about Roger Clemens, I enjoyed this one more because I had more memories of seeing Bonds during his career, and amid his lengthy involvement in the steroid scandal, I was much more in-tuned with this legendary hitter than that superb pitcher nicknamed "Rocket." However, this biography still astounded me at every turn, especially with the incredible insight into Bonds' interaction with his teammates and the media in the clubhouse. Here is the definitive story of Bonds - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Though I grew up in the 1990s and have only vague memories of the professional world of sports like football and baseball, I do remember one man: Barry Bonds. I remember having a 2000 baseball card of his, which showcased this giant of a man with these superhuman home run numbers. I remember occasionally seeing one of his home runs on the news (like when he bear hugged my beloved Twins hero Torii Hunter after Bonds was robbed of a home run during the 2002 All Star Game). I also remember the relentless media coverage of Bonds during the BALCO steroid scandal. And, yes, I remember when both Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron's home run records fell to this man. I remember quite a bit about the man named Bonds.
Years later, when I read this book in search for the complete, hopefully unbiased, story of this new Home Run King, I was struck by this biography's title, and the featured quote found before the introduction. Bonds was in his own little world, both in respect to his baseball prowess and his relationship with the media and society in general. This quote of "love me, hate me" truly epitomizes who Bonds really was, and isn't part of some legacy-smearing agenda that this respected sportswriter, Jeff Pearlman, administered in this well-received book. No, this is an incredibly thorough and detailed look into the complete life and tale of a man who was destined to be the most complete all-around baseball player of his generation, if not of all time. As much as I loved Pearlman's other work about Roger Clemens, I enjoyed this one more because I had more memories of seeing Bonds during his career, and amid his lengthy involvement in the steroid scandal, I was much more in-tuned with this legendary hitter than that superb pitcher nicknamed "Rocket." However, this biography still astounded me at every turn, especially with the incredible insight into Bonds' interaction with his teammates and the media in the clubhouse. Here is the definitive story of Bonds - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
May 9, 2015
A well-written, hanging-by-his-own-rope bio of an undeniably talented and completely polarizing athlete; one of the greatest of his era. Pearlman has done his research, going all the way back to Bonds' cub scouts den mother to find people willing to shit on Barry for being a jerk. The question that lingers in my mind, having read this book, is where is the one about Mark McGwire along these lines? Would Cobb, or Ruth, or DiMaggio, or Williams, have survived the media scrutiny Barry Bonds has endured? The element of race lurks behind the curtains of this book, and while it is referenced in passing, race is left largely unremarked upon to the extent that this reader thinks it may be germane to the discussion.
Barry Bonds used HGH to push a Hall of Fame career to the further reaches of the stratosphere. His legacy leaves a conundrum for MLB and the Hall of Fame to puzzle through. Love Me, Hate me is a fascinating and very sad book to read.
Barry Bonds used HGH to push a Hall of Fame career to the further reaches of the stratosphere. His legacy leaves a conundrum for MLB and the Hall of Fame to puzzle through. Love Me, Hate me is a fascinating and very sad book to read.
May 14, 2025
Barry kind of a bad guy! Crazy how someone so naturally gifted and talented could be so insecure yet cocky at the same time? Compelling to see how many people had horrible things to say about him (i.e. I hope Barry dies), but also how many people had great things to say about him when he did things for them behind closed doors
October 28, 2024
I enjoyed it but it was a bit redundant, “Barry was so talented, but kinda a dick, but he did do this one nice thing, but he was a dick, but man he was talented”. That sentence can somewhat sum up the entire book.
January 29, 2025
Not sure why it came out when he was still playing. Would love another 100 pages updated to today.
July 31, 2025
There were some really great parts to this. I particularly enjoyed the ASU chapter. It was easy to read and I got a lot more information about a topic I thought I knew a good deal about.
I was surprised by how many people truly felt comfortable going on record with how they hated him. Honestly, if there was a book on one of my enemies, I’d like to not participate.
Barry lives rent free in Andy Van Slyke’s head.
Barry may have been an ass and he used steroids, but that man belongs in the Hall of Fame. And why writers have their high horse about it is so stupid to me.
I was surprised by how many people truly felt comfortable going on record with how they hated him. Honestly, if there was a book on one of my enemies, I’d like to not participate.
Barry lives rent free in Andy Van Slyke’s head.
Barry may have been an ass and he used steroids, but that man belongs in the Hall of Fame. And why writers have their high horse about it is so stupid to me.
July 12, 2008
Wow, in case you couldn't tell from his behavior in press conferences, interviews, and candid moments on the diamond, Barry Bonds has a chip on his shoulder the size of the Golden Gate Bridge.
This book just confirms it - you might go in looking for the misunderstood athlete who secretly wants to be loved, who visits sick kids in the off-season.
That guy's not here. Where have all the baseball heroes gone? Pete Rose, Bonds, McGwire, Clemens - all sport asterisks next to their names in my book now.
Where's Cal Ripken when we need him?
This book just confirms it - you might go in looking for the misunderstood athlete who secretly wants to be loved, who visits sick kids in the off-season.
That guy's not here. Where have all the baseball heroes gone? Pete Rose, Bonds, McGwire, Clemens - all sport asterisks next to their names in my book now.
Where's Cal Ripken when we need him?
February 22, 2016
I'm becoming a fan of Pearlman's writing. This book seems to paint a more nuanced picture of Bonds than any I've ever read. Excellent read for baseball fans, whether you like Bonds or not.
April 12, 2020
If you’re reading this book then it presupposes your base knowledge of either the author, a prolific sports biography writer, or else his subject matter, the mercurial baseball legend. Pearlman’s book does not cover the historic but controversial 755th home run by Barry Bonds, nor his quiet absence where Bonds has taken up cycling and apparently lost a tremendous amount of his size from his halcyon playing days. Bonds is an otherworldly baseball prodigy with issues of neglect, abuse, narcissism, loneliness, depression and self-grandeur. He is enigmatic but also an objective prick. Pearlman evenhandedly dispenses with analysis and reporting to offer an overtly fair portrayal of the subject matter.Furthermore, Pearlman’s strength as a writer is his thoroughness, he typically interviews hundreds of people per book, and timely and interspersed humor. Both are in top form here. Pearlman offers a breezy but engaging account of a historically significant career by one of the most gifted and loathsome men to ever pick up a bat. Bonds’ entire career was controversial but the decisions he made in the latter portion of a HOF-worthy offering have become a scarlet letter for the slugger. The last 50 pages of the book focus on Bond’s steroid use and the federal grand jury proceeding that uncovered the slugger’s use of cutting edge steroids that were undetectable from lax testing policies. Bonds has largely disappeared from the spotlight since his retirement in 2007 and Cooperstown voting scribes appear to be punishing the superstar for his cruel treatment of them during his reign as king of baseball. For me, at least, the punishment seems disproportionate to the crime.
December 13, 2020
Barry Bonds is the player who got me into baseball. I considered baseball extremely boring growing up. Barry's power and grace at the bat got me hooked; and anyone who is able to make baseball exciting should be in the Hall of Fame.
Barry Bonds is a classic case of someone having all of the talent/power in the world, but lacking the decency and respect for others. Sadly, he got that from his father, God parent, Willie Mays, and a host of people who enabled his high-minded attitude.
Barry's father, Bobby, was a star baseball player. However, he wasn't a star as a father and that left a lasting impact on Barry. Bobby was only 18 years old when Barry, his oldest son, was born. He wasn't ready to be a father. One thing that worked against Bobby was his unhealthy habit of drinking that was passed down from his father. Barry grew up aloof and without the father figure he needed in his life to teach him values and lessons as a man.
Barry's talent and disdain for his father drove him to the heights he reached. He grew up very protected which didn't do him any good. People who should have disciplined him didn't do their job either. It was all a mental disaster for Barry. One minute he seems great, and then the next he's being rude towards someone.
Teammates didn't love and enjoy their time around him. His attitude towards them and the media left a bad taste in their mouths.
At the end of the day, people paid to see Barry Bonds swing a baseball bat. You could LOVE him or you could HATE him, but you PAID to see Barry Bonds. He was a once in a lifetime talent. The numbers do not lie - before or after steroids.
Barry Bonds is a classic case of someone having all of the talent/power in the world, but lacking the decency and respect for others. Sadly, he got that from his father, God parent, Willie Mays, and a host of people who enabled his high-minded attitude.
Barry's father, Bobby, was a star baseball player. However, he wasn't a star as a father and that left a lasting impact on Barry. Bobby was only 18 years old when Barry, his oldest son, was born. He wasn't ready to be a father. One thing that worked against Bobby was his unhealthy habit of drinking that was passed down from his father. Barry grew up aloof and without the father figure he needed in his life to teach him values and lessons as a man.
Barry's talent and disdain for his father drove him to the heights he reached. He grew up very protected which didn't do him any good. People who should have disciplined him didn't do their job either. It was all a mental disaster for Barry. One minute he seems great, and then the next he's being rude towards someone.
Teammates didn't love and enjoy their time around him. His attitude towards them and the media left a bad taste in their mouths.
At the end of the day, people paid to see Barry Bonds swing a baseball bat. You could LOVE him or you could HATE him, but you PAID to see Barry Bonds. He was a once in a lifetime talent. The numbers do not lie - before or after steroids.
September 24, 2021
Jeff's books always bring me back in time and remind me of all these wonderful memories, big and little, and people, big and little as well, to a time I was completely enamored with pro sports and what it meant to be a professional athlete. Barry and the early '90s Pirates was the end of innocence for me. I loved this book. And whereas all of Jeff's books have made me laugh, this one made me a little sad and a little angry. I lived in Pittsburgh until I was 24, I went the early '90's Pirates playoff games, I had extra tickets I couldn't give away...for free...to anyone! I watched Bonds ruin our chances of winning a World Series(he was not alone). Bottom line, it sucked! And then the steriods, oh boy. Great book, thank you Jeff. I have one more of Jeff's books to read, Sweetness, can't wait. I recommend all of his books.
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June 9, 2023Pearlman loves to profile the cheating, violent, scandal-ridden superstars. They add a personal drama to sporting careers that resolutely lack it (Bond’s utter failure in the playoffs is well documented). Barry Bonds was a jerk of epic proportions, an astronomic asshole who’s made as many friends in his 20-plus year career as the number of fingers on Mordecai Brown’s pitching hand. He snarled, dominated, abused, bullied all sorts of people into groveling submission. He cheated, willfully, to achieve an impossible physical appearance for a middle-aged man, and then lied repeatedly about it (even to a grand jury!). While Pearlman’s book ends before Bond’s record breaking latter-day Giants seasons, his blackballing by the MLB, and his continued post-playing legal troubles, Love Me, Hate Me provides the perfect psychological profile of douchebag with insane talent, and insane vanity.
March 24, 2024
It's a good book, but it needs an update. This book was written in 2006, before Bonds had broken baseball's home run record. Since then he has not only retired, but served as a hitting coach for the Marlins, had his number retired by the Giants, and failed to be voted into the Hall of Fame. I'd like to know about his post retirement life and his experiences related to the afore mentioned events. Jeff Pearlman is a great author who went to great lengths to meet with everyone from family members, former teammates, to people who knew him when he was little. At times, it shows a side of Barry that could be kind and respectful, but for every positive interaction someone has with Bonds, it seems like 3 people have a negative experience with him. It's a good book, well worth your time to read.
January 30, 2025
As someone who remembered watching Bonds chase 756 in awe, I knew very little about the man behind the asterisk and the hall of fame resume he built before he looked like Lou Ferigno. Pearlman’s INSANE level of research on this one, combined with his humor and insight gives a remarkable look at the enigma that is Barry Bonds. One of the most fascinating and confusing personalities I’ve ever heard of.
I was adamant that Bonds, Sosa, McGuire - all of em deserved their spot in Cooperstown - and call it character bias if you want, but I’m now firmly (and forever) in the camp that Barry Bonds being enshrined would be a disgrace.
I was adamant that Bonds, Sosa, McGuire - all of em deserved their spot in Cooperstown - and call it character bias if you want, but I’m now firmly (and forever) in the camp that Barry Bonds being enshrined would be a disgrace.
September 25, 2018
Very interesting but VERY sad book. One wonders how Mr. Bonds lives with himself. An incredible talent (my guess - top 5 all time) but what does a man profit if he gains the whole world but loses his soul.
October 22, 2019
I like this book but I already know a lot about him and I liked it but it was boring because I have know about home for a long time and I wanted to learn something new about him put it didn’t tell me something new about him
July 3, 2020
Felt like the author had little access to Bonds or anyone who considered him a friend (Bonilla, Griffey, etc.). Would have been nice for a bit of balance. The strongest voice in the book is probably Andy can Slyke and their personal animosity came through strongly.
January 3, 2021
One thing I always tell people: No matter what happens, people will always remember how you made them feel. Always.
This book has a thousand examples of this.
Another incredibly sourced book by Pearlman.
This book has a thousand examples of this.
Another incredibly sourced book by Pearlman.
December 8, 2022
Pearlman does it again. Barry Bonds, at the time of writing, had a considerable amount of flaws. However, Pearlman, in classic Pearlman fashion, doesn’t shy away from highlighting the contradictions and even positives of one of the most hated athletes of all time.
January 8, 2023
Very good- excellent reporting and undeniably readable. Takes a decidedly anti-Bonds position. Of interest is how dated the stats and analysis of the game are; A lot of talking about batting average and RBIs…
October 15, 2025
The title is true. You either will love him or hate him. I will never understand why he thought he had to cheat by using steroids. I never knew the Braves had serious trade talks for Barry either. Bonds is a HOF talent on the field, but off the field strikes out repeatedly.
October 15, 2025
Love me, Hate me humanized the impenetrable public persona that is bonds. The way in which Pearlman tells the story of reasons why Bonds is the way he is wonderful. If you behind the scenes and history of sports this is a must read.
February 12, 2017
Barry Bonds is a fascinating narcissist. And great baseball player! This is one of the best, well researched biographies on an athlete I've read.
July 3, 2024
I still think Bonds should be in the Hall of Fame. However, this book shows great insight on both opinions and shows great evidence for both. Make sure to read the epilogue.
February 2, 2025
love pearlman but not his best, more like 3 1/2
February 12, 2025
Good at times. Definitely an outsiders perspective and story with a few insider tidbits. Kind of surface level, doesn’t enthrall you and not something you just can’t put down. Not a must-read but not outright a waste of time. Bleh. Also, put Barry in the HOF.
December 10, 2025
Great baseball book about one of the greatest of all time. Tells alot about his background to help you understand the man himself
Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews