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If Only You Knew How Much I Smell You: True Portraits of Dogs
A delight for dog lovers and, until dogs learn to talk, the best way to remember that the "inner dog" is probably much like the outer one, this winning collection teams up dog portraits and humorous verse to offer an honest, original, and hilarious portrayal of what dogs really "think." 50 duotone illustrations.
112 pages, Paperback
First published May 15, 1998
About the author
Roy Blount Jr.
71 books66 followersRoy Blount Jr. is the author of twenty-three books. The first, About Three Bricks Shy of a Load, was expanded into About Three Bricks Shy . . . and the Load Filled Up. It is often called one of the best sports books of all time. His subsequent works have taken on a range of subjects, from Duck Soup, to Robert E. Lee, to what cats are thinking, to how to savor New Orleans, to what it’s like being married to the first woman president of the United States.
Blount is a panelist on NPR’s Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me!, an ex-president of the Authors Guild, a usage consultant for the American Heritage Dictionary, a New York Public Library Literary Lion, and a member of both the Fellowship of Southern Writers and the band the Rock Bottom Remainders.
In 2009, Blount received the University of North Carolina’s Thomas Wolfe Prize. The university cited “his voracious appetite for the way words sound and for what they really mean.” Time places Blount “in the tradition of the great curmudgeons like H. L. Mencken and W. C. Fields.” Norman Mailer has said, “Page for page, Roy Blount is as funny as anyone I’ve read in a long time.” Garrison Keillor told the Paris Review, “Blount is the best. He can be literate, uncouth, and soulful all in one sentence.”
Blount’s essays, articles, stories, and verses have appeared in over one hundred and fifty publications, including the New Yorker, the New York Times, Esquire, the Atlantic, Sports Illustrated, the Oxford American, and Garden & Gun. He comes from Decatur, Georgia, and lives in western Massachusetts.
Blount is a panelist on NPR’s Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me!, an ex-president of the Authors Guild, a usage consultant for the American Heritage Dictionary, a New York Public Library Literary Lion, and a member of both the Fellowship of Southern Writers and the band the Rock Bottom Remainders.
In 2009, Blount received the University of North Carolina’s Thomas Wolfe Prize. The university cited “his voracious appetite for the way words sound and for what they really mean.” Time places Blount “in the tradition of the great curmudgeons like H. L. Mencken and W. C. Fields.” Norman Mailer has said, “Page for page, Roy Blount is as funny as anyone I’ve read in a long time.” Garrison Keillor told the Paris Review, “Blount is the best. He can be literate, uncouth, and soulful all in one sentence.”
Blount’s essays, articles, stories, and verses have appeared in over one hundred and fifty publications, including the New Yorker, the New York Times, Esquire, the Atlantic, Sports Illustrated, the Oxford American, and Garden & Gun. He comes from Decatur, Georgia, and lives in western Massachusetts.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
February 19, 2020
It’s not often that I give perfect five out of five grades to whatever I’m reading at the time. When I finally do, you know it’s a special occasion. You know that the book touched my heart in some special way or changed the way I think about the world. This picture book did the former of those two. Sure, you’ll always win me over with precious puppy-duppy pictures. But these aren’t just ordinary snapshots of dogs. They’re expressive. They’re artistic. Valerie Shaff takes special care when selecting which ones go in the book. Some of the dogs have pouty expressions. Others are playing outside. Even the simple act of lying on the couch is enough to touch the coldest of human souls. These are the sweeties we’ve come to know and love throughout our many years of owning dogs. You want to reach through the pages and give hugs and belly rubs to these precious critters. But alas, this book was published in 1998 and many years have passed since then, which means these pups have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. By the looks of these photos, you can tell that the time they spent on this earth was well-lived. That’s really all we can do in the end: give these doggos the best life they can possibly have.
But of course, Valerie Shaff’s excellent photography is just one half of this formula. You also have the simple, yet effective poetry of Roy Blount, Jr. to accompany these beautiful pictures. These poems make the dogs come off as sweethearted and lovable rather than diva-like and spicy. They do have their diva moments, but those moments don’t overstay their welcome. There’s also a little bit of toilet humor, but it too doesn’t overstay its welcome. The one poem that really hit me the hardest was the one about the owner going off to college and the dog assuming that the would-be student is dead. This poem is accompanied by a sad expression on the dog’s face and rightfully so. This gave me war flashbacks of going to study at Western Washington University and being depressed all the time about not being able to see my animal babies. The rules of my dorm room specifically stated that pets weren’t allowed, so that hit me even harder. In the introduction to this book, Roy wonders what kinds of thoughts his dogs have and what rhythm they would use to express those thoughts. I’d say he got them down perfectly, no questions asked.
Everyone could use a little sweetness in their lives, but this book goes the extra mile in securing that sweetness for potential readers. Valerie Shaff and Roy Blount, Jr. didn’t just create a photo album; they created art. This is the kind of representation that precious puppies need, especially when it comes to adopting them from shelters (don’t shop, adopt). This book does a good job of building up older doggies as well, which is important since they need love just as much as their younger counterparts. Like I said earlier, five out of five stars is what this book gets. That’s a lot of “aww’s”!
But of course, Valerie Shaff’s excellent photography is just one half of this formula. You also have the simple, yet effective poetry of Roy Blount, Jr. to accompany these beautiful pictures. These poems make the dogs come off as sweethearted and lovable rather than diva-like and spicy. They do have their diva moments, but those moments don’t overstay their welcome. There’s also a little bit of toilet humor, but it too doesn’t overstay its welcome. The one poem that really hit me the hardest was the one about the owner going off to college and the dog assuming that the would-be student is dead. This poem is accompanied by a sad expression on the dog’s face and rightfully so. This gave me war flashbacks of going to study at Western Washington University and being depressed all the time about not being able to see my animal babies. The rules of my dorm room specifically stated that pets weren’t allowed, so that hit me even harder. In the introduction to this book, Roy wonders what kinds of thoughts his dogs have and what rhythm they would use to express those thoughts. I’d say he got them down perfectly, no questions asked.
Everyone could use a little sweetness in their lives, but this book goes the extra mile in securing that sweetness for potential readers. Valerie Shaff and Roy Blount, Jr. didn’t just create a photo album; they created art. This is the kind of representation that precious puppies need, especially when it comes to adopting them from shelters (don’t shop, adopt). This book does a good job of building up older doggies as well, which is important since they need love just as much as their younger counterparts. Like I said earlier, five out of five stars is what this book gets. That’s a lot of “aww’s”!
May 15, 2015
I bought this book on a shopping trip with my Mom and my sister about 16 years ago and loved it then. Today I am cleaning all my books as I put them back on my library shelves and when I came to this one I sat down and read it again. Working hard eh? Only a 10 minute read but it makes you smile and also think just what are our dogs thinking. Each page has a photo of a dog, or two, either in some activity or else giving "a look". On the other page is what the dog is saying or would say if she could talk. There are some good ones like:
"How can you be
So blindly smitten...
You have me,
And you pet that kitten?"
or
"Whatever I did, I know I shouldn't.
If I knew what it was, I know I wouldn't.
All I know is to give you this look
Till you let me know I'm off the hook."
All of us dog lovers know what kind of look the dog in that picture has! Then there are a few that aren't so funny especially this one:
"They keep me chained.
It's never explained."
I won't describe the look on that poor baby's face. 95% of the book is uplifting however so if your a dog lover it's a quick read that will get you wondering.
"How can you be
So blindly smitten...
You have me,
And you pet that kitten?"
or
"Whatever I did, I know I shouldn't.
If I knew what it was, I know I wouldn't.
All I know is to give you this look
Till you let me know I'm off the hook."
All of us dog lovers know what kind of look the dog in that picture has! Then there are a few that aren't so funny especially this one:
"They keep me chained.
It's never explained."
I won't describe the look on that poor baby's face. 95% of the book is uplifting however so if your a dog lover it's a quick read that will get you wondering.
April 27, 2011
Perhaps one of the only dog lovers gift books worth getting--anything by these two is a gem!
June 4, 2021
Pictures and verse. Nice pictures. Verse's are fun to go with the pictures. Not any verses I want to add to my list of favorite quotations, but nice. Overall a pleasant book.
January 30, 2022
“Aww, this is super cute”
I have been searching for a present for a Secret Santa for a friend who LOVES dogs and this was the obvious choice considering all the praise and ratings, but is it really that awesome?
I’ve ended up gifting the book as in the end it has completely fulfilled one end of the bargain - the photography. It is great! The images of dogs show exactly what you would expect and more. Valerie Shaff gave us the portal into the dog’s soul and it is beautiful, touching and cute!
What about the witty quips that I was promised? I love reading books, but here I was picture-thirsty and plowing through the text just to get to another image. Out of dozens of phrases I have laughed out loud about 3 times (it was pure genius) and the other huge chunk of ‘funny descriptions’ made me feel bamboozled like all the budget was used on those rare gems and the rest was filled with coal.
The verdict is dubious: amazing photography steals the spotlight but the questionable captions put a controversial question on the table: was it worth adding them? Still I would consider the book a precious little diamond for the dog lovers.
I have been searching for a present for a Secret Santa for a friend who LOVES dogs and this was the obvious choice considering all the praise and ratings, but is it really that awesome?
I’ve ended up gifting the book as in the end it has completely fulfilled one end of the bargain - the photography. It is great! The images of dogs show exactly what you would expect and more. Valerie Shaff gave us the portal into the dog’s soul and it is beautiful, touching and cute!
What about the witty quips that I was promised? I love reading books, but here I was picture-thirsty and plowing through the text just to get to another image. Out of dozens of phrases I have laughed out loud about 3 times (it was pure genius) and the other huge chunk of ‘funny descriptions’ made me feel bamboozled like all the budget was used on those rare gems and the rest was filled with coal.
The verdict is dubious: amazing photography steals the spotlight but the questionable captions put a controversial question on the table: was it worth adding them? Still I would consider the book a precious little diamond for the dog lovers.
June 18, 2018
This is one of those rare books that I love so much, I buy copies for my friends.
The **voice** is perfect. Spot-on!
I will write more another day; right now I'm in the midst of reviewing Dave Barry's "Lessons from Lucy," and he mentions Roy Blount in that book, which led me to realize I have never posted a review for this little treasure.
Back soon....
The **voice** is perfect. Spot-on!
I will write more another day; right now I'm in the midst of reviewing Dave Barry's "Lessons from Lucy," and he mentions Roy Blount in that book, which led me to realize I have never posted a review for this little treasure.
Back soon....
July 2, 2020
The prose was... crass?? It just didn't flow or feel beautiful and then I found myself starting to flip through the book looking at the pictures of the dogs only.
September 8, 2020
Oh, my, gosh. I don't know which is better: either the photos or the text.
Dog lovers will understand.
Dog lovers will understand.
July 29, 2021
Fun and funny! Lovely photos with delightful annotations! A must for dog lovers! I keep extra copies to give as gifts!
February 19, 2022
Fun book to listen to.
November 18, 2023
A book to read & reread. Love is kind. Smell is love.
April 23, 2024
I read this today at my orthodontics appointment. I read this Cute little book. I loved the pictures keep little quick read.
February 10, 2025
For the love of dogs.
August 12, 2016
A dear friend gave me this book in celebration of my family adopting a beautiful basset hound from a high kill shelter in March of 2010.
Me and Barney The Basset snuggled up on the couch while I read this book and now I have nothing but bitter-sweet memories about this book
because Barney had a massive seizure and passed away on July 14, 2013.
Rest In Peace Sweet Boy.
Me and Barney The Basset snuggled up on the couch while I read this book and now I have nothing but bitter-sweet memories about this book
because Barney had a massive seizure and passed away on July 14, 2013.
Rest In Peace Sweet Boy.
January 24, 2009
ok, my connection with this one is fairly obvious, but I so enjoyed the simple snapshot quality to these delightfully clean-lined portraits. Paging through this book gives me great pleasure and many smiles
December 31, 2010
This is a book of dog-related poetry paired with soft-focus, sepia-toned photos of a variety of amusing dogs. It’s not especially memorable, but it would make a nice gift for the dog lover on your list.
April 26, 2015
Cute little book with pictures of dogs accompanied by short poems. My favorite:
What does that mean, "expensive shoe"?
I ate it because it smelled like you.
And another that's kind of sad:
"Gone to college,"
Is what they said.
To my knowledge,
That means he's dead.
What does that mean, "expensive shoe"?
I ate it because it smelled like you.
And another that's kind of sad:
"Gone to college,"
Is what they said.
To my knowledge,
That means he's dead.
December 2, 2023
This book was fantastic! Cute, great photos of a variety of dogs just being themselves and hilarious and true poems accompanying them. This book is a totally accurate representation to how dogs are. Totally worth picking up!
January 18, 2008
More photos and poems for dog lovers. Very sweet and funny.
August 30, 2008
Absolutely adorable book with great images and cute poems to go along with each image.
December 5, 2008
Read in 2008 A picture book - insert five icons here!
January 11, 2009
Cute coffee-table-top book
November 6, 2011
Wonderful pictures of dogs and poems that go with them. Pretty good stuff.
February 1, 2013
Love dogs, love Roy Bount Jr, love this book!
February 5, 2013
love!
April 12, 2013
This lovely book was a gift from Nancy way back in 1999, after we'd lost Max, J, & The Great Houndini in the same year. Sweet!
June 18, 2013
Cute little pup poems. Would absolutely not be worth reading if you don't have/love dogs.
March 22, 2014
Full of dog poems with accompanying dog portraits. This is a charming book perfect for the dog lover in your life.
October 15, 2016
A really cute book with pictures of dogs and poems about what the dogs are thinking about. Funny and adorable.
November 17, 2016
My kids and I enjoy looking at the pictures in this cute book. They are a little obsessed right now with dogs since we got a boxer.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews