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The Seven Year Bitch
From the bestselling author of High Maintenance and Going Down comes a witty, heartfelt comic novel about marriage, motherhood, and discovering that the life you have is exactly the one you want.
What’s a fabulous New York City girl supposed to do when she finds herself fantasizing about the Grim Reaper more than she fantasizes about her husband? When she can’t help but give him the finger on the set of Sesame Street ? And when she doesn’t exactly hope for a safe landing when he goes away on business?
No, ex-hedge fund manager and new mom Isolde Brilliant hasn’t got the seven year itch—taking care of her baby and husband and having a growing suspicion that she’s living life in captivity has turned her into a seven year bitch.
That’s New York author Jennifer Belle’s deliciously provocative phrase for the boredom, anger, and hurt that can creep into even the best of marriages—and affect even the most saintly of wives. In the tradition of Jennifer Weiner and Meg Wolitzer, Belle delivers a dead-on, raw and hilarious novel about motherhood and marriage and discovering the life you have is exactly the one you wanted.
What’s a fabulous New York City girl supposed to do when she finds herself fantasizing about the Grim Reaper more than she fantasizes about her husband? When she can’t help but give him the finger on the set of Sesame Street ? And when she doesn’t exactly hope for a safe landing when he goes away on business?
No, ex-hedge fund manager and new mom Isolde Brilliant hasn’t got the seven year itch—taking care of her baby and husband and having a growing suspicion that she’s living life in captivity has turned her into a seven year bitch.
That’s New York author Jennifer Belle’s deliciously provocative phrase for the boredom, anger, and hurt that can creep into even the best of marriages—and affect even the most saintly of wives. In the tradition of Jennifer Weiner and Meg Wolitzer, Belle delivers a dead-on, raw and hilarious novel about motherhood and marriage and discovering the life you have is exactly the one you wanted.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
16 people are currently reading
591 people want to read
About the author
Jennifer Belle
11 books100 followersAn American novelist, based in New York City.
She attended Bronx High School of Science and dropped out of college. She has also written columns for Ms. magazine. In 2002, she married entertainment lawyer Andrew Krents, after they were introduced by fellow novelist Amy Sohn.
Her work has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The New York Observer, London’s The Independent, Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, Ms., Mudfish. She teaches at the New York Writers' Workshop.
-Wikipedia
She attended Bronx High School of Science and dropped out of college. She has also written columns for Ms. magazine. In 2002, she married entertainment lawyer Andrew Krents, after they were introduced by fellow novelist Amy Sohn.
Her work has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The New York Observer, London’s The Independent, Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, Ms., Mudfish. She teaches at the New York Writers' Workshop.
-Wikipedia
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 126 reviews
May 10, 2010
Another one of my wins on Goodreads and this one blew me away. Can I give it 4.5 stars??? I really think that they picked me on purpose because i have never connected with a book in my life. I never even read books like this. This is strictly a woman's book and I would truly have passed it in a bookstore or anywhere for that matter and I can't tell you how happy I was to read this.
First, I kept looking at the cover wondering where my name was. I must have wrote this book or have helped in someway??? I couldn't relate to her any more. The only difference was having some sort of money. I don't have any and she clearly did but it is nice to know that money can't separate us! Everything she said made sense. It made me feel like I am not alone. the things we shared were:
- Having a sense of humor
- being a working Mom (although she stopped and I can't afford to)
- having an emergency c-section
- having a planned c-section
- always arguing with my husband thinking if it were gonna end up in divorce.
And just some much more. She even talked like me at times.
After reading this book it took a little weight off of my chest. Having 2 kids so close in age is very hard. I work full time, go to graduate school, my girls are 15 months apart, I have c-sections, and money is always super SUPER tight so you can imagine what me and my husband constantly argue about. This just proved that things are hard but you gotta just go with it. I assume things will be easier eventually and I am always making jokes and I try to make light of things but there are still pressures and I was grateful to have won such a book. I was laughing out loud multiple times and other times I had to call my sister or husband to tell them the funny or truthful things that I read. So thank you for my win and I really hope people would pick this up! I have been passing my views on to everyone!
First, I kept looking at the cover wondering where my name was. I must have wrote this book or have helped in someway??? I couldn't relate to her any more. The only difference was having some sort of money. I don't have any and she clearly did but it is nice to know that money can't separate us! Everything she said made sense. It made me feel like I am not alone. the things we shared were:
- Having a sense of humor
- being a working Mom (although she stopped and I can't afford to)
- having an emergency c-section
- having a planned c-section
- always arguing with my husband thinking if it were gonna end up in divorce.
And just some much more. She even talked like me at times.
After reading this book it took a little weight off of my chest. Having 2 kids so close in age is very hard. I work full time, go to graduate school, my girls are 15 months apart, I have c-sections, and money is always super SUPER tight so you can imagine what me and my husband constantly argue about. This just proved that things are hard but you gotta just go with it. I assume things will be easier eventually and I am always making jokes and I try to make light of things but there are still pressures and I was grateful to have won such a book. I was laughing out loud multiple times and other times I had to call my sister or husband to tell them the funny or truthful things that I read. So thank you for my win and I really hope people would pick this up! I have been passing my views on to everyone!
May 11, 2010
I wasn't a fan of this. I didn't find hardly anything in the book funny - if anything the majority of the conversations were just bizarre. I never grew to care about Izzy or anyone else. This is the second book by Jennifer Belle that I haven't really enjoyed so I suspect there's something about her characters that don't resonate with me.
May 24, 2010
Wow. This was really disappointing. I LOVE some of Jennifer Belle's other novels but this one I mostly skimmed. (Library Journal was correct in their very negative review.) It was boring, the main character annoyed me and I couldn't understand her motivation.
April 30, 2010
I guessed this would be middle-aged chick lit, and it is.
Belle's humor and pov is not universal. You have to be "there" to get it and "there" isn't even on my map.
Belle's humor and pov is not universal. You have to be "there" to get it and "there" isn't even on my map.
April 26, 2010
I really needed this book. I laughed out loud. It was hard to put this book down
October 29, 2020
This book was good, and a quick read, but it was somewhat...negative. It was definitely relatable but I didn’t feel like the main character evolved enough by the end to warrant the ending of the book.
January 4, 2011
The Seven-Year Bitch is the fifth novel by one of my favorite all-time authors, Jennifer Belle. I fell in love with Jennifer Belle while reading High Maintenance after its release in 2001 and that particular novel still resides in my permanent collection. It bothers me that Belle is not more widely known because her writing is absolutely brilliant, witty, and hilarious -- more so than novels by MaryJanice Davidson, Charlaine Harris, or whoever else is considered funny these days by the mass public in the chick-lit sub-genre. If you're a fan of chick-lit, you must add Jennifer Belle novels to your wish list immediately!
The Seven-Year Bitch features 30-something character Isolde (Izzy) Brilliant, who has just had her first son and learns to juggle her career, mommy-hood, and marriage without losing her identity and charismatic, eccentric personality in the process.
This novel is nothing but pure FUN! There are many genuine laugh-out-loud moments; seasoned readers are definitely in for a treat because this novel is extremely original and random. What makes Jennifer Belle an entertaining author is her incredible sense of humor. I love her tangents into Izzy's sexual obsession with the Grim Reaper (what?!) and her rants on how sissy and baby-ish her husband Russell is. She also points out how annoying it can be when rich people (especially potential love-affair interest Gabe Weinrib) will consistently say "my treat" when of course his picking up the tab is always a given.
Another reason I love The Seven-Year Bitch is because Belle accentuates the fact that not ALL women lose their identities, spunk, sexual appetite and finesse after they become mothers and wives. Being a 30-ish, divorced, single mother myself, I really hate how women tend to let themselves fall into the sweatpants, boy-haircuts, obesity and bland mommyhood-lives that seem so prevalent these days. Kudos to Jennifer Belle and her bright wit!
Overall, although I am truly starting to hate "Chick-Lit" as a sub-category of literature, I'm not so sure a man is going to get the same kick out of The Seven-Year Bitch as a woman will. This book is fabulous!
As I previously mentioned, definitely hunt down High Maintenance (2001). Other novels by Jennifer Belle include Going Down (1996) and Little Stalker (2007).
Read more book reviews at http://dreamworldbooks.com.
The Seven-Year Bitch features 30-something character Isolde (Izzy) Brilliant, who has just had her first son and learns to juggle her career, mommy-hood, and marriage without losing her identity and charismatic, eccentric personality in the process.
This novel is nothing but pure FUN! There are many genuine laugh-out-loud moments; seasoned readers are definitely in for a treat because this novel is extremely original and random. What makes Jennifer Belle an entertaining author is her incredible sense of humor. I love her tangents into Izzy's sexual obsession with the Grim Reaper (what?!) and her rants on how sissy and baby-ish her husband Russell is. She also points out how annoying it can be when rich people (especially potential love-affair interest Gabe Weinrib) will consistently say "my treat" when of course his picking up the tab is always a given.
Another reason I love The Seven-Year Bitch is because Belle accentuates the fact that not ALL women lose their identities, spunk, sexual appetite and finesse after they become mothers and wives. Being a 30-ish, divorced, single mother myself, I really hate how women tend to let themselves fall into the sweatpants, boy-haircuts, obesity and bland mommyhood-lives that seem so prevalent these days. Kudos to Jennifer Belle and her bright wit!
Overall, although I am truly starting to hate "Chick-Lit" as a sub-category of literature, I'm not so sure a man is going to get the same kick out of The Seven-Year Bitch as a woman will. This book is fabulous!
As I previously mentioned, definitely hunt down High Maintenance (2001). Other novels by Jennifer Belle include Going Down (1996) and Little Stalker (2007).
Read more book reviews at http://dreamworldbooks.com.
May 31, 2013
It hurts my heart to write this review, but sometimes you have to do what's right to keep yourself healthy, no matter how sad it makes you. And thus, I must reluctantly say that I am breaking up with Jennifer Belle.
Belle's first two novels, Going Down and High Maintenance, are two of my favorite reads ever. I'm talking an I-want-them-with-me-if-trapped-on-a-desert-island level of love. I adore the quirky characters, their unorthodox reactions to wacky only-in-NYC characters, and their roll-with-punches attitudes.
This book, however, was terrible, and it took me a while to figure out why: The narrator is EXACTLY like the ones in Going Down and High Maintenance. The problem is that those characters were incredibly young, dealing with family issues and struggling to do what they could to survive because they were BROKE AS HELL. Isolde Brilliant*, however, is a successful businesswoman with a husband and child, yet she behaves identically to those earlier protagonists. It's as if they got older but never grew up.
There are certain things you can get away with when you're 20 that you can't when you're 40, and I'm not talking miniskirts here. With age should come wisdom, and Belle's specific type of "quirky" becomes "socially retarded" when applied to a grown wife and mother instead of a kooky college student trying to figure out who she is.
And don't even get me started on Izzy's relationship with money or how the supporting characters are less wacky this time around and actually unbearable. :-(
A painfully unpleasant reading experience. And now I've broken up with someone I once loved. I'm sorry, Jennifer Belle. It's not you; it's me.
Oh, wait a minute - No, it's totally you.
Now I need to go eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's to sooth my heartbreak.
*BTW: Worst name EVER
Belle's first two novels, Going Down and High Maintenance, are two of my favorite reads ever. I'm talking an I-want-them-with-me-if-trapped-on-a-desert-island level of love. I adore the quirky characters, their unorthodox reactions to wacky only-in-NYC characters, and their roll-with-punches attitudes.
This book, however, was terrible, and it took me a while to figure out why: The narrator is EXACTLY like the ones in Going Down and High Maintenance. The problem is that those characters were incredibly young, dealing with family issues and struggling to do what they could to survive because they were BROKE AS HELL. Isolde Brilliant*, however, is a successful businesswoman with a husband and child, yet she behaves identically to those earlier protagonists. It's as if they got older but never grew up.
There are certain things you can get away with when you're 20 that you can't when you're 40, and I'm not talking miniskirts here. With age should come wisdom, and Belle's specific type of "quirky" becomes "socially retarded" when applied to a grown wife and mother instead of a kooky college student trying to figure out who she is.
And don't even get me started on Izzy's relationship with money or how the supporting characters are less wacky this time around and actually unbearable. :-(
A painfully unpleasant reading experience. And now I've broken up with someone I once loved. I'm sorry, Jennifer Belle. It's not you; it's me.
Oh, wait a minute - No, it's totally you.
Now I need to go eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's to sooth my heartbreak.
*BTW: Worst name EVER
Read
July 3, 2010So hard to rate a book that I enjoyed what I read, but did not finish. I really enjoyed the humor in the book. It is the type of humor where you go, oh, yeah, I can so relate to that. And I think this book IS relatable. You don’t have to be a married new mother in New York to understand the characters. I relate to it just on the merit that I am married and have a lot to juggle (like everyone these days). DH and I laugh, and joked that it could be bad for the marriage for the person READING the book. I kept turning to him and reading bits, and he would say, “oh, oh. I’m going to get in trouble for the stupidity of my gender again, aren’t I?”
But. At one point I put it down, and found I never had the interest to pick it up. I don’t think I was invested enough in the characters, or what was going to happen in the end. The one liners and funny situations just weren’t enough to carry it for me. I made it about 2/3 of the way through. It would be great for a beach or a vacation read. Interesting glimpse into New York living. Would be good for the airplane too. Who knows? Maybe if I get a holiday this year, I‘ll take it with me and finish it. =D
June 20, 2010
Feeling trapped in an unhappy marriage, Isolde Brilliant’s world is turned upside down when she’s laid off from her job as a successful hedge fund manager. With a good severance package and a new baby at home she decides to take some time off to be a stay-at-home mother, but finds if difficult to let go of who she was. As Izzy struggles with her marriage and finds new ways to fill her time, she finally learns to love her life for what it is.
The Seven Year Bitch is a funny and true-to-life story of motherhood and marriage. Jennifer Belle creates layered characters, who are flawed yet full of heart and completely human. Unfortunately, The Seven Year Bitch falls short when it comes to plot. In the end everything comes together, but the story would have been much more effective if it had been shorter. The middle section of the book drags and I found myself skimming through chapters that bore no relevance to the outcome of the book. But the writing is smart, funny and always believable, which helps balance out the slow pace of the story.
The Seven Year Bitch is a funny and true-to-life story of motherhood and marriage. Jennifer Belle creates layered characters, who are flawed yet full of heart and completely human. Unfortunately, The Seven Year Bitch falls short when it comes to plot. In the end everything comes together, but the story would have been much more effective if it had been shorter. The middle section of the book drags and I found myself skimming through chapters that bore no relevance to the outcome of the book. But the writing is smart, funny and always believable, which helps balance out the slow pace of the story.
May 25, 2010
East Coast, more specifically upper-class New Yorker humor that relates closely to the dialogue from the Housewives of Manhattan. The keeping up with ‘class’ way of living is ridiculously funny, but sadly true, which makes some moments hysterical.
Frankly, despite my similarities to economics, marriage, working and raising children I could not relate to the main character. I had a hard time with Izzy’s eternal struggle of doing things just because others (in her friend circle) where doing them. Mind you, these were not small decisions, but life decisions turned trendy such as: divorce, having children, getting married and hiring nannies. I contribute my disconnect perhaps to my inexperience with NYC life. However, I depend on the author to relate such differences and create a plot and character that appeals to my sympathy. This fell very short.
Frankly, despite my similarities to economics, marriage, working and raising children I could not relate to the main character. I had a hard time with Izzy’s eternal struggle of doing things just because others (in her friend circle) where doing them. Mind you, these were not small decisions, but life decisions turned trendy such as: divorce, having children, getting married and hiring nannies. I contribute my disconnect perhaps to my inexperience with NYC life. However, I depend on the author to relate such differences and create a plot and character that appeals to my sympathy. This fell very short.
May 15, 2010
This book is about marriage and children. A womans struggle to decide what is best in her life. Should she stay in a marriage that she isn't happy in? Should she cheat with a man that she lost her chance with years ago? I wasn't real happy with her decision to cheat at judging contests, but what can you say. I guess it happens. Her relationship with her son was sweet and her struggles to justify having a nanny were interesting. I really loved this book. I read it in one day because I couldn't put it down.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 11, 2010
Just won this book! Sounds very funny!
I read this book in 2 days. It was hilarious and so much fun to read! Isolde is a wife and mom who feels she is missing something in her life. After she loses her job she questions her existence and dreams about alternatives and other men! I love the way Jennifer Belle tells the story. It has so much humor and I honestly found myself laughing out loud and reading passages to my husband! I recommend to everyone! The first page of the book is written by the author's husband and is equally as funny so be sure to read it also!
I read this book in 2 days. It was hilarious and so much fun to read! Isolde is a wife and mom who feels she is missing something in her life. After she loses her job she questions her existence and dreams about alternatives and other men! I love the way Jennifer Belle tells the story. It has so much humor and I honestly found myself laughing out loud and reading passages to my husband! I recommend to everyone! The first page of the book is written by the author's husband and is equally as funny so be sure to read it also!
April 3, 2011
Easily read chick lit- Great story line. All about not wishing for what you don't have.Isolde is married has a child 'and is very wealthy. She feels she is missing something in her life.After she loses her job she questions her existence and dreams about other men and different alternatives. It has humorand had me laughing out loud at times. While your dreams may not always come true the nightmare you think your living maybe isn,t so bad after all
May 29, 2010
I knew from the title this would be fun and I was right. I really liked it and for anyone who is/was married, you can relate. I found my self laughing out loud at times, and I was never boarded of thought there was any filler. The story moved along and had a nice ending. I will seek out and read her other books.
July 14, 2021
An extremely unpleasant woman tries to put her finger on why she adores her baby & hates her husband but is unable to accomplish that because she keeps thinking she probably hates the baby & loves the husband.
There is a mess of other stuff about the nanny she exploits/loves and the man she hates/has an affair with, but ALL of it was just annoying. My sister thought it was hysterically funny, and I can almost see how/why, but for me, I didn't want to laugh at this mean-spirited, obnoxious bitch.
There is a mess of other stuff about the nanny she exploits/loves and the man she hates/has an affair with, but ALL of it was just annoying. My sister thought it was hysterically funny, and I can almost see how/why, but for me, I didn't want to laugh at this mean-spirited, obnoxious bitch.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 3, 2024
A "comic novel" that is not at all funny. And everything's so vague - Why did she EVER love her husband? Why does she hate him now? Given that she hates him, why doesn't she take up with the ridiculously wealthy other man she finds so incredibly attractive? Why is she so obsessed with getting her nanny pregnant? Why does she risk her job by giving a $50,000 promotional prize to her nanny, when she's signed a form that she can't give the money to anyone she knows? Why does she fall back in love with her husband?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 24, 2018
This book just didn’t do it for me. As a mother of young children I was excited by the excerpt for this novel because it seemed like a humorous take on motherhood and marriage; something I might be able to relate to. However, the book lacked any real development and I found every single character annoying. It was also unnecessarily vulgar. This is not a book I would recommend to a friend.
June 30, 2018
Tacky and trashy - a perfect beach read! 🏝 The author is a vulgar, oversexed foul-mouthed version of Sophie Kinsella (whose books I loved). Didn’t like any of the characters or the plot but for some unknown reason I gobbled up every word!! I grabbed this from the library thinking it was by Kimberly Belle author of The Marriage Lie.
August 30, 2020
This book was...bleak and not as amusing as I think the author intended. It didn’t make me feel much, but it made me not want to have kids.
Also, for a family of unemployed folks who never get a job or try to get a job throughout the book, they’re awfully rich? Didn’t love that.
Also, for a family of unemployed folks who never get a job or try to get a job throughout the book, they’re awfully rich? Didn’t love that.
October 27, 2023
Jennifer Belle (that can’t be her real name, can it?) reliably makes me laugh out loud. She also seems like she might be a better person than the very selfish and petty personas she inhabits in her books might suggest.
February 12, 2019
Read it. Do it for Stinky Mama.
July 10, 2019
Hmmm...I def understood her frustration with her useless husband. I have no idea what the millionaire guy saw in her. And I don’t get what happened to make her love her husband again.
November 21, 2019
Fuck this entitled white female garbage book.
February 23, 2020
audio book
February 5, 2021
boring. I was surprised since her book Going Down was so good. This seemed to be rambling, pointless and about a fictional husband wife team arguing. It was nothing special.
September 7, 2021
Don't know why I'm intent on finishing it. This woman is beyond BITCH, and not even funny.
Read
May 17, 2024a crazy book to read while high. not "good" per se, and I don't think I would recommend it, but I did enjoy reading it.
January 12, 2017
I kept wondering where this couple got their money. Weird. It was ok, glad to be done.
October 8, 2011
I really liked this book! It was about a woman that wanted a family, baby or babies, work, husband, and she does get it all. The book has some laugh out loud moments as she finds you should be careful what you wish for, you may get it! She goes through life with husband, baby and then another baby and has many ups and downs, and she has a friend who is getting divorced. She even sees a physiciatrist or doctor (I think that is where she got this idea) who says there are different levels (for lack of a better word) to marriage and motherhood and she really takes these to heart. It is as though you don't really get happy with your life until seven years have come and gone. So the title the "Seven Year Bitch".
It's been a while since I've read the book so can't comment a lot on it as I have some short term memory problems, (old age yeah after the big 50 it's the first thing to go, your mind). I just remember that the book had those laugh out loud scenes in it. I could see this book being made into a movie. ~ : )
Here is the information on the back of the book: From the bestselling author of High Maintenance comes a witty, heartfelt comic novel about marriage, motherhood, and discovering that the life you have is exactly the one you want.
Isolde Brilliant used to have a life she recognized. She was working in finance, she had a devoted, if neurotic, husband, and a perfectly acceptable apartment in downtown Manhattan. But once Izzy's wish to become a mother finally comes true, she is laid off from her job, and her old world falls by the wayside. Although she's surprised with motherhood's hidden pleasures-jaunts to the park, bickering with other mothers, and the sense of accomplishment she feels in having made it through her son's first year-her marriage is on shaky ground and she feels lost. She just can't quite get a grip on what to do now that she has all-or most-of the things she's ever wanted.
As Izzy ponders her next move, her best friend announces that she is leaving her husband. Balancing the demands of marriage and motherhood for seven years has made her feel like a nag, a shrew, a...you-know-what, and she's determined that the only way out is too leave. Izzy tries to avoid a similar fate, but as new challenges and temptations arise for her, she begins to wonder if there might be some inescapable grain of truth in her friend's outlandish theory.
Full of the poignancy and hilarity that readers have come to expect from Jennifer Belle, The Seven Year Bitch is a smart and provocative novel about learning how to love what you have, and finding out that it's both the hardest thing you've ever done and not so hard after all
It's been a while since I've read the book so can't comment a lot on it as I have some short term memory problems, (old age yeah after the big 50 it's the first thing to go, your mind). I just remember that the book had those laugh out loud scenes in it. I could see this book being made into a movie. ~ : )
Here is the information on the back of the book: From the bestselling author of High Maintenance comes a witty, heartfelt comic novel about marriage, motherhood, and discovering that the life you have is exactly the one you want.
Isolde Brilliant used to have a life she recognized. She was working in finance, she had a devoted, if neurotic, husband, and a perfectly acceptable apartment in downtown Manhattan. But once Izzy's wish to become a mother finally comes true, she is laid off from her job, and her old world falls by the wayside. Although she's surprised with motherhood's hidden pleasures-jaunts to the park, bickering with other mothers, and the sense of accomplishment she feels in having made it through her son's first year-her marriage is on shaky ground and she feels lost. She just can't quite get a grip on what to do now that she has all-or most-of the things she's ever wanted.
As Izzy ponders her next move, her best friend announces that she is leaving her husband. Balancing the demands of marriage and motherhood for seven years has made her feel like a nag, a shrew, a...you-know-what, and she's determined that the only way out is too leave. Izzy tries to avoid a similar fate, but as new challenges and temptations arise for her, she begins to wonder if there might be some inescapable grain of truth in her friend's outlandish theory.
Full of the poignancy and hilarity that readers have come to expect from Jennifer Belle, The Seven Year Bitch is a smart and provocative novel about learning how to love what you have, and finding out that it's both the hardest thing you've ever done and not so hard after all
Displaying 1 - 30 of 126 reviews