Humphrey Was Here: A Dog Owner's Story of Love, Loss, and Letting Go

by Mark J. Asher

The loss of a beloved pet breaks your heart in a way that animal lovers know all too well. Author, Mark Asher experienced losing his German Shepherd/Chow mix in the worst of ways: while out of his care, at a boarding facility. At the time, Mark had just finished work on his first book, Old Friends, a loving tribute to senior dogs, and his dog, Humphrey, had been the inspiration. The sudden and devastating loss sent Mark into a debilitating state of anger, grief, and guilt, wondering what he could have done to prevent the incident.

Lost and empty without his four-legged companion, who had seen him through a divorce, relocation to a new city, and a new job, Mark decided to go to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, Utah, to volunteer and find his way through the pain. Humphrey Was Here is about how one carries on after the death of a pet that means the world to them. It is an emotional and cathartic story of grieving and recovery that will deeply touch any dog lover.

Genres: Animals, Dogs, Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Ebooks

176 pages, Paperback

First published November 10, 2009

About the author

Mark J. Asher is the author of several dog books, including: All That Ails You (over 1,000 Five-Star Reviews), Humphrey Was Here (pet loss memoir), and Canine Rhymes (dog poems).

PRAISE FOR MARK’S BOOKS:

“Beautifully told story about how important dogs are in helping, healing and brightening your day.”
—Reader review of All That Ails You

“The honesty and wisdom that grace this book will serve as a balm for others coping with their own pain.”
—Best Friends Magazine on Humphrey Was Here

“These animals jump from the pages, warm the heart, and inspire the soul.”
—The Humane Society of the United States on Old Friends

Reviews

[Sylvia Munoz]

I love dogs and I had recently lost my dog too. So I picked up the book with compassion and understanding. The books begin about a man and his close companion Humphrey's. As his owner describes him I could see what a wonder dog Humphrey's is. Then the story gets sad. His owner describes that terrible event when Humphrey passes away. As I read on the character Mark Asher remind the reader how people discard their animals like yesterday's fashion. Very sad, but then the book took a turn for the worse. As Humphrey's owner is recovering from his loss he begins to volunteer. But then he starts to think maybe he should get a dog and this is when I didn't like the book anymore he plays on the affection of the dogs. He takes a dog home and then decides he is not ready. He does this about three more times. I forced myself to read on in hopes that he gets a dog, but he does not. I was disappointed and annoyed with the book. I got this book for free from bookbub.com. Glad I didn't spend my money on this one.

[Robin]

This was a wonderful book! I found it very emotional and touching. Everyone who's ever lost a pet / best friend understands Mark's pain but its what he did afterward that makes him an amazing person in my eyes. Mark volunteered weeks of time in Utah at the largest no-kill shelter in the US, aptly named, "Best Friends". Mark worked with dogs broken both in body and soul. His heart ached for them and for his Humphrey but as time passed, he healed too. I think Mark did such an honorable thing in a very humble way and lucky for us he has a gift with words so he could share his story with us. Thank you Humphrey and Mark for touching my heart with your story.

[Jami]

I loved this book about Humphrey and how Mark Asher coped with the loss of his best friend. Having lost many animals, including one to bloat, I could relate to his feelings. I often felt the way he described, like I was going to be able to pick them up at the vets and that they weren't really gone. I enjoyed reading about his experiences at Best Friends, as I learned a lot about that sanctuary. The title grabbed me from the start, and I read this in two sittings. It was heartbreaking, but well written.

[Hákon Gunnarsson]

I've read a few biographies centered around dogs. Many of them end in the death of the dog, but here the death is at the beginning and the rest is memories of Humphrey, and how the author deals with that loss, the guilt, the anger and so on. I know a lot of people think it is strange to mourn the loss of a dog. After all it was just an animal, but a lot of those that live with dogs get this very well. It is a loss of a loved one. I've lost a few myself, and each time has been different, but it has never been easy.

Asher has taken the loss of his dog Humphrey very hard, and I've seen some reviewers point out what he shouldn't have done after losing the dog. Maybe they are right. Maybe he shouldn't have taken dogs home before he is ready for a new one, but we deal with loss in different ways and not always in the way we should. I just think he is being honest about what happened, and I think the book is all the better for it.

That being said, I would have liked to hear a little more about Humphrey alive. The loss is so big part of the book that it almost over shadows the life that Asher is mourning, so I think the book might have needed a little more balance between mourning and memories. But I liked it very much as it stands. It is honest, and moving. I wanted to read it after having read Asher's Greatest Clicks where he mentions Humphrey a few times, there is even a photograph of him there, and I wasn't disappointed. It is a good book for those that like dogs.

[Lori]

Got this on my kindle. A touching devotion to a dog named Humphrey. this one starts off with the dog dying at the beginning of the book. very sad really Humphrey is dropped off to be taken care of a pet care type center and he dies suddenly while there. a part of this book is trying to find out what happened, how guilty and heartbroken his owner was. Now he shared his life with this terrific dog. a nice touching homage to the dog he loved. this a part sad and even funny at times describing his life with Humphrey. a pretty nice read. I picked this book out to read because we recently lost our own dog "Molly" who died at 16 years old. We miss our girl a lot. Last week we adopted a dog at the local shelter. A Jack russell, chihuahua mix. we named "Roxie"

[Sarah]

Not being a hardcore dog fan (I dont mind them just dont want one) I picked this book up only because it was a freebie, well I was pleasently surprised at how quickly I was pulled into the story and wanted to continue reading from cover to cover, a couple of times tissues were required and by the end I rally wanted to go to the animal shelter/retreat the author went to to come to terms with losing his dog - I take my hat off to you Mr Asher - you actually made me care about your dog, your photography and your coming to terms with your grief even though I dont know you. I really wish you all the best and hope that life treats you and your pets kindly from now on.

[Mary Mullane]

Yes, I cried, thinking of my beloved dogs who are at the Rainbow Bridge. Best Friends has long been one of my "causes", & I do have a memorial there for my Lab-mixes, Simon & Schuster. I was fortunate they both lived long lives (Simon, 14 & Schuster, 15). When Simon turned 10 I no longer traveled because I knew if something happened while they were kenneled I would be devastated.

Mark's journey through his grief was touching. I wanted to know if he adopted another dog, but understand why that wasn't included in this book. Because this was, rightly so, about Humphrey.

[Lori Henrich]

If you have ever had a pet you have probably experienced the grief of loss. This is a touching story of how one man's best friend touched his life and how he moved on when he lost that friend. I am an animal lover and have experienced that loss on several occasions. I teared up several times while reading this book.

It is well written and its words will ring true to all of the animal lovers out there who will take the time to read it.

[Kathleen]

This book touched me deeply like no other I have ever read. The raw emotion that Mark shares with the reader is so strong that I felt my heart breaking and missing Humphrey too. If you are a dog lover and even if you're not, this book is a must read. It will stay with you long after you put it down. And you will not be putting it down until you finish it, wanting desperately to know how it ends and how Mark goes on without his best friend.

[julie morse]

Truly a good read

Sorry for the loss of your dog. There's always hindsight as this book points out but in the end we all die. He put the loss of a pet into words and his actions on how he coped. Your second book is one I'll be looking out for too.

[April Cothern]

very good book. sad but very good

[Barb]

Very moving story. You can feel the author's love and anguish for his dog through his words. :( Sad

[Bettye Sierichs]

Great book for dog lovers who have ever lost one! Quick, easy read!

[Margaret]

For all dog lovers, this was an amazing book. The author really captures what it's like to lose a beloved pet. He's a great writer. This is the second book of his I read. I love his writing style.

[Pam]

Good reading

it was interesting the way the author told of his feelings sorting through the death of his dog. Made me remember my pets I had in the past.

[Sarah]

This was a great book! Very endearing & heartwarming! I laughed & cried. Very touching! It also helped me see that I will survive my two dog's eventual trips to the Rainbow Bridge :-)

[Heather]

Great read

Heartwarming read. Anyone who has ever suffered the loss of a dog will love this book. A must read for dog lovers everywhere

[Pat Christie]

Ebook

A wonderful story about his dog and how it feels to lose him. Dog lovers can relate to the love and the pain.

[Jeannie Tremblay]

Heartwarming and heartbreaking. I am always drawn to books about dogs as pets -- though I have never had one, I know in my heart that the day will come when I will. This book tugged at my heartstrings, from the sad way that Humphrey was taken away from Mark, but also because throughout the book, I was hoping so much that Mark would come to peace with the loss of his beloved companion. And now, having finished the book, I keep wondering if Mark finally took the step to bring another loving dog into his life. I sure hope so.

[Jilly]

Mark Asher experienced losing his German Shepherd/Chow mix in the worst of ways: while out of his care, at a boarding facility. At the time, Mark had just finished work on his first book, Old Friends, a loving tribute to senior dogs, and his dog, Humphrey, had been the inspiration. The sudden and devastating loss sent Mark into a debilitating state of anger, grief, and guilt, wondering what he could have done to prevent the incident.

Lost and empty without his four-legged companion, who had seen him through a divorce, relocation to a new city, and a new job, Mark decided to go to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, Utah, to volunteer and find his way through the pain. Humphrey Was Here is about how one carries on after the death of a pet that means the world to them. It is an emotional and cathartic story of grieving and recovery that will deeply touch any dog lover.

[Patricia Hankins]

Love and loss

It's devastating to lose a friend, and the love off a furry friend is at the top offs the list. A pet loves with their while self. To lose them leaves a hole in your heart.

[Beth]

Great read

Great read. Especially for someone who have lost a beloved dog. Time doesn’t heal wounds, but teaches you how to deal with the pain

[sharon]

This was a wonderful story about a four legged friend.
very glad I read this one
I have read 2 of his books.
He is one of my favorite authors

[Amanda Jackson-lupton]

Heartbreaking but a beautiful story of how pets become family members and getting over the loss of them, takes time and sometimes a journey. I met this author. Very nice man.

[Tammy]

This book was difficult to read having lost two dogs in the past six months. The author wrote from the heart, however, and it was in some way comforting to go on his journey with him.

[Carol Kean]

"There is no advanced degree in dealing with death - only a long, painful passage from pitch-black darkness to eventual flickers of light." - Mark J Asher

He got that right.

Mark Asher tells us how a dog named Humphrey had psychoanalytic skills that "were far more effective in altering my negative behavior than any shrink had been." Yes. Dogs are like that. And we might all be better humans if everyone had dogs to keep us in line.

Humphrey is a rambunctious, high-energy dog, the kind my sister hates, the kind that has convinced her never to allow a dog into her life (or a cat). She's too busy traveling to find out what she's missing. Taking the dog along everywhere you go just isn't an option, and hiring pet sitters can be a challenge.

Ironically, this author does take his dog with him everywhere he goes, and the one time he can't, he has to entrust Humphrey to a kennel he's never employed before. At this kennel, Humphrey dies.

Would the dog have died no matter whose care he was in? Hard to say. Hard, too, for the dog owner not to beat himself up with the "if only" and what-if scenarios that have haunted people since the burial (or funeral pyre) of the earliest humans.

Asher indulges in remorse and grief a little more than I care to read about (having been raised in a stoic farm family where moving on is Job One, and even after the murder of my sister when I was 13 and she was 18, we all carried on, but don't ask how healthy that really is.) However, I'd still recommend this to any grieving dog owner. Cynics know this feeling:

"If it was God's will, I wanted to know how he dispersed his tragedies -- an immediate investigation of (God's) distribution system was in order. If I had bad karma, I demanded to know what I had done in another life ... If everything happened for a reason, I wanted to know the reason now, when the pain was intense. I wanted answers; I kept coming up with questions."

I wonder if he's read the book Dawn Kairns wrote about her dog, Maggie. I'm a skeptic, like Asher, but I'd love to believe the Deepak Chopra sort of "life after death" spirituality that Kairns seems to experience. I lost two Collies, ages 12 and 13, litter mates, brother and sister, and I am open to the idea of sensing their presence, and even more so, I'd love to imagine the spirit of my sister (murdered forty years ago) has somehow survived death of the body, but I guess some of my seven chakras must be blocked. Or, some of us are wired for spirituality, and some of us are not.

Asher writes of older dogs (excluded from movies, commercials, and ads) and has taken to photographing them. Good for him! I understand people's reluctance to adopt an elderly dog, knowing their time together will be cut short, and that caring for a dying dog is like running a hospice (the vomit, the loss of control over bodily fluids, that peculiar odor of the dying that can last for months before the human decides to do the "humane" thing and have the vet end the dog's incredible determine to stay alive and be there for you no matter what).

One of many reasons you should try reading this book: knowing two thousand volunteers a year pass through Best Friends sanctuary in Utah, a no-kill shelter for abused and abandoned animals.

And for all you non-pet-owners who scoff at people who need funeral time off for a cat or dog, you might try reading this book, or volunteering at your local animal shelter, or daring to get attached to an animal. The bond between human and animal can transcend the DNA bonds that define family in the biological sense.

[Rosemary Terryn]

A Delightful Read

If ever one has lost a treasured pet, reading g this book will not only alleviate some of the pain one feels, but it will make one realize that there are ways to alleviate the grief. one isn't always ready to adopt a new dog but for some it's an immediate step and for others healing must occur. This book shows the process of healing the author endured.

[Hannah Kasik]

I really loved this book. I gave this book 4 stars because it was easily relatable and helped me cope with the loss of my dog. I gained closure and knowledge about the process and the aftermath of losing a pet. The overall theme of the book is: "Love, Loss, and Letting Go." The structure of this book is a story line, with some flashbacks to the past. The author uses a single viewpoint. I feel the author chose to tell the story in this way to allow himself to be someone the reader could feel was their friend and they could turn to his book for comfort. I had all kinds of different emotions while reading this book. I felt happiness when he was remembering his dog and sadness when he told the reader he lost him. This book didn't really have a main character. It was a narrator talking about his life before, during and after losing a pet, so the pet wasn't always there. But, if you said who or what was this book based around, the answer would have to be Humphrey (the dog). The ending of the book left me with happy tears. It was humbling and satisfying. If I could ask the author one question, it would have to be, "Did writing this book help cope with the loss of your dog, or did it bring back memories and was hard to write?

[robyn van dusen]

Paws up

I just read this book for the second time. Mark has an incredible "sense of dog". His writing is passionate and tender. I felt all his heartache, his pain and cheered his eventual path towards healing. I praise his acknowledgement of his need to grieve-in his own way, on his untamed timeline. Grief for a pet is a deep,wrenching, soul tearing journey. I have traveled it. Mark puts his pain, his emotion and his soul for all to see and feel . Mark J. Asher is man's (and readers) best friend.

[Betsy]

this book started out telling about Humphrey and his untimely death; then it went down into the owner's dealing w/Humphrey's loss BUT he never did get another dog in the book; I was very upset after he bonded with the dogs at the Utah shelter and took one sweetie home to drop it back and never see it again .. poor baby .. that hurt me .. I finished it but I came away with a bad taste, sorry .. if he loved Humphrey that much then there should have been room in his heart for another!