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Greetings From Jamaica, Wish You Were Queer
Book by SanGiovanni, Mari
240 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2006
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
August 19, 2020
Real Rating: 4.25* of five
The Publisher Says: Marie Santora comes from a volatile Italian family. But when she inherits her grandmother’s estate and everyone turns nice and caring, Marie knows it’s time to hit the road to Los Angeles, but not before one final family vacation.
In Jamaica, Marie meets the woman who could change her life. But will she even talk to Marie after her family tells one too many of Marie’s secrets? Don’t miss this hilarious tale of lesbian love and family togetherness run amok.
Greetings from Jamaica is a runner-up for the first annual Bywater Prize for Fiction.
My Review: What happens when a rudderless, relationshipless, newly rich dyke decides to change her life, leave her hometown, and pursue the unattainable Object of Her Desire, a famous actress?
To put it mildly, hijinks ensue.
Marie hated her rich grandmother, as did anyone and everyone else who ever met the old bat. Unlike all the others in her family, though, Marie was honest in her dislike, and when the old lady kicks, Marie...the one honest person in the old lady's life...inherits.
This is an old-fashioned screwball comedy, a lot like Bringing Up Baby or The Awful Truth . It's a fast-paced, rollicking joy of a book to read.
Oh hell. Here I've got an interesting life and an adorable boyfriend (since become an ex, more's the pity), and I've gone and fallen in love with a lesbian.
Well, can you blame me? This particular lesbian, author of the tome named above, has a wicked sense of humor and a snarky eye for characters and a good sense of timing. She's written, in this her first novel, a laugh-out-loud funny slamming-doors sex farce set in an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica. I mean, really, go fight those odds! I'd fall in love with *Rush Limbaugh* under those circumstances!
(No I wouldn't, not a chance, but it's a good line so I used it anyway.)
Marie, our heroine, is in a miserable dead-end relationship with the once-gorgeous-to-her Jessica, a cold, cheating slime. Then one fine morning, Marie wakes up rich, with a legacy of $21 million - the ENTIRE ESTATE! - from her mean, evil grandmother, whose respect for Marie's honest dislike of her has paid off.
Marie's extended Italian-American family, predictably, goes into hyperdrive debating the use that they will make of (Marie's, and Marie's alone) money. This gets old, so she buggers off to Los Angeles to throw herself at actress Lorn Elaine, hoping to convince the said actress to be in the movie she's written. This fails spectacularly, and Marie slinks off to Jamaica with her entire clan, both to salve her screenwriterly wounds and to announce her decision about the division of the money. That was left to HER, mind.
So who shows up at the selfsame all-inclusive resort? C'mon, guess! Oh, all right...Lorn Elaine! With her mother in tow! It's now that the doors begin slamming, the sex (some pretty sticky stuff there!) begins not happening, and the entire cast runs around at warp speed trying to keep secrets and ending up telling lies.
If you're unsatisfied by the ending of this book, you're a prune-faced old moralizing killjoy. As for the humor quotient...well, the author's email is MariLaughs@cox.net. Go on, say it out loud. I'll wait.
Now, if that didn't make you laugh, don't read this book. Read one on how to get a sense of humor.
The Publisher Says: Marie Santora comes from a volatile Italian family. But when she inherits her grandmother’s estate and everyone turns nice and caring, Marie knows it’s time to hit the road to Los Angeles, but not before one final family vacation.
In Jamaica, Marie meets the woman who could change her life. But will she even talk to Marie after her family tells one too many of Marie’s secrets? Don’t miss this hilarious tale of lesbian love and family togetherness run amok.
Greetings from Jamaica is a runner-up for the first annual Bywater Prize for Fiction.
My Review: What happens when a rudderless, relationshipless, newly rich dyke decides to change her life, leave her hometown, and pursue the unattainable Object of Her Desire, a famous actress?
To put it mildly, hijinks ensue.
Marie hated her rich grandmother, as did anyone and everyone else who ever met the old bat. Unlike all the others in her family, though, Marie was honest in her dislike, and when the old lady kicks, Marie...the one honest person in the old lady's life...inherits.
This is an old-fashioned screwball comedy, a lot like Bringing Up Baby or The Awful Truth . It's a fast-paced, rollicking joy of a book to read.
Oh hell. Here I've got an interesting life and an adorable boyfriend (since become an ex, more's the pity), and I've gone and fallen in love with a lesbian.
Well, can you blame me? This particular lesbian, author of the tome named above, has a wicked sense of humor and a snarky eye for characters and a good sense of timing. She's written, in this her first novel, a laugh-out-loud funny slamming-doors sex farce set in an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica. I mean, really, go fight those odds! I'd fall in love with *Rush Limbaugh* under those circumstances!
(No I wouldn't, not a chance, but it's a good line so I used it anyway.)
Marie, our heroine, is in a miserable dead-end relationship with the once-gorgeous-to-her Jessica, a cold, cheating slime. Then one fine morning, Marie wakes up rich, with a legacy of $21 million - the ENTIRE ESTATE! - from her mean, evil grandmother, whose respect for Marie's honest dislike of her has paid off.
Marie's extended Italian-American family, predictably, goes into hyperdrive debating the use that they will make of (Marie's, and Marie's alone) money. This gets old, so she buggers off to Los Angeles to throw herself at actress Lorn Elaine, hoping to convince the said actress to be in the movie she's written. This fails spectacularly, and Marie slinks off to Jamaica with her entire clan, both to salve her screenwriterly wounds and to announce her decision about the division of the money. That was left to HER, mind.
So who shows up at the selfsame all-inclusive resort? C'mon, guess! Oh, all right...Lorn Elaine! With her mother in tow! It's now that the doors begin slamming, the sex (some pretty sticky stuff there!) begins not happening, and the entire cast runs around at warp speed trying to keep secrets and ending up telling lies.
If you're unsatisfied by the ending of this book, you're a prune-faced old moralizing killjoy. As for the humor quotient...well, the author's email is MariLaughs@cox.net. Go on, say it out loud. I'll wait.
Now, if that didn't make you laugh, don't read this book. Read one on how to get a sense of humor.
May 9, 2021
I can only imagine that the author must have had so much fun writing this because I had fun reading it. Her characters were relatable, even in the most ridiculous circumstances, and definitely entertaining.
This will have you laughing aloud at times and rooting for the MC throughout. I don’t give spoilers in reviews. You’ll just have to believe me when I say, this is a book that will make you laugh, maybe cry, but will have you cheering to the end. It’s the perfect afternoon or evening rom/com when you want to get lost for a few hours. Just sayin’.
This will have you laughing aloud at times and rooting for the MC throughout. I don’t give spoilers in reviews. You’ll just have to believe me when I say, this is a book that will make you laugh, maybe cry, but will have you cheering to the end. It’s the perfect afternoon or evening rom/com when you want to get lost for a few hours. Just sayin’.
May 22, 2009
Lambda Literary Award Finalist.
Climb aboard this hilarious roller-coaster ride where Marie is left wishing "out" was the new "in", and where every lounge chair is a hot seat when the Santora family ventures this close to the equator. The island of Jamaica just may not be big enough...
Climb aboard this hilarious roller-coaster ride where Marie is left wishing "out" was the new "in", and where every lounge chair is a hot seat when the Santora family ventures this close to the equator. The island of Jamaica just may not be big enough...
July 13, 2012
It was a fun read. Finished it in one day. I thought the storyline was a little unbelieveble, but it kept me entertained. It was rather funny, with lots of light drama and a great love story thrown in the mix.
July 13, 2012
This book actually made me laugh out loud! Some may say the story is a bit farfetched, but it's so entertaining, fun, sweet, exciting, crazy, ... that it really doesn't matter. I loved reading this book and I just could't put it down.
June 21, 2009
Mari's book is such a hoot!
I recently read this hilarious book by Mari SanGiovanni. I knew from the title Greetings from Jamaica Wish You were Queer this book was going to be funny and that it would probably challenge the mindset of some more traditional folks.
While the story seems to be an autobiography of the author's life, I still can't say for sure if all these crazy things actually happened to Mari. She might have been awarded millions of dollars in the settlement of her grandmother's estate, but then again, it might be one of the stories about what we wish would happen to us.
The characters in the story are bold and vibrant as expressed quite well by the author's "show" not "tell" writing style. I felt like I was sitting poolside watching the crazy Italians have a family argument while half-drunk on Margaritas. I let out a rip-roaring laugh when Aunt Aggie fell into the pool during one of her rants and ruined her "helmet" hairdo. She had it coming to her. She deserved it, but somehow even she managed to laugh at her predicament. She would have the last laugh no matter what. And who wouldn't when you have so much money you can afford to throw it to strangers on the other end of the pool? I do wish I were there. Wishing I were queer? Well, that probably won't happen unless I fall in love with a movie star and move to California.
Anyone would want to meet this Italian family, but who would want to actually be related to one of them? A worrywart for a mother, a flirtatious, pot-smoking father who takes the edge off every tense moment by suggesting everyone eat something--hot and tangy meatballs, of course. Mari, did you really drop a meatball on your foot? Nevertheless, Elizabeth finds Uncle Tony irresistible enough to marry. Their wedding was another fiasco with the press there to photograph--not the bride and groom--but the movie star and her dyke lover!
After spending a week on vacation in Florida with my own family, I can only imagine taking our gang to Jamaica.
So, there you have it. The book is about bravery. And, it is about doing the non-conventional thing like loving someone of the same gender and having sex with them. While the steamy love scenes are hers and hers, the reader must come away with the understanding that love knows no conditions such as age, gender, money, or race. Love happens where and when it happens. It's up to us to appreciate it rather than judging it.
I recently read this hilarious book by Mari SanGiovanni. I knew from the title Greetings from Jamaica Wish You were Queer this book was going to be funny and that it would probably challenge the mindset of some more traditional folks.
While the story seems to be an autobiography of the author's life, I still can't say for sure if all these crazy things actually happened to Mari. She might have been awarded millions of dollars in the settlement of her grandmother's estate, but then again, it might be one of the stories about what we wish would happen to us.
The characters in the story are bold and vibrant as expressed quite well by the author's "show" not "tell" writing style. I felt like I was sitting poolside watching the crazy Italians have a family argument while half-drunk on Margaritas. I let out a rip-roaring laugh when Aunt Aggie fell into the pool during one of her rants and ruined her "helmet" hairdo. She had it coming to her. She deserved it, but somehow even she managed to laugh at her predicament. She would have the last laugh no matter what. And who wouldn't when you have so much money you can afford to throw it to strangers on the other end of the pool? I do wish I were there. Wishing I were queer? Well, that probably won't happen unless I fall in love with a movie star and move to California.
Anyone would want to meet this Italian family, but who would want to actually be related to one of them? A worrywart for a mother, a flirtatious, pot-smoking father who takes the edge off every tense moment by suggesting everyone eat something--hot and tangy meatballs, of course. Mari, did you really drop a meatball on your foot? Nevertheless, Elizabeth finds Uncle Tony irresistible enough to marry. Their wedding was another fiasco with the press there to photograph--not the bride and groom--but the movie star and her dyke lover!
After spending a week on vacation in Florida with my own family, I can only imagine taking our gang to Jamaica.
So, there you have it. The book is about bravery. And, it is about doing the non-conventional thing like loving someone of the same gender and having sex with them. While the steamy love scenes are hers and hers, the reader must come away with the understanding that love knows no conditions such as age, gender, money, or race. Love happens where and when it happens. It's up to us to appreciate it rather than judging it.
February 13, 2018
I'm giving this a five purely based on writing quality--I love SanGiovanni's prose and all her very different but very alive characters, especially ever member of the Santora family.
I love:
-seeing a lesfic novel that isn't COMPLETELY about the romance
-reading a queer book that acknowledges that you can still love a family that doesn't completely support you being queer
-millionaire lesbian MC (and not in a typical millionaire romance, either)
-family drama, family drama, family drama
-Lorn's dilemma of whether or not to come out of the closet so she can be with the MC
-Seeing two sapphic sisters who love each other
-hell, seeing queer people who love their families in general. okay, i feel like a lot of queer books make it that either your family is COMPLETELY supportive of you being queer and perfect in every way and the Ideal Liberal Poster Family, or your family completely sucks and you need to break with them. Here we see a family that's more complicated than that, and because of that it feels genuine and the love the siblings and other relatives express for each other feels genuine too.
BUT. at the same time, although I gave it five stars because all those things were amazing and beautiful, I DO NOT love:
-acting as if a woman is always either straight or lesbian because bisexuals do not exist. i mean, Lorn? closeted for what, thirty years? never in a lesbian relationship until now? could easily have been bisexual. Erica? dresses and acts like a dyke but still ends up with a dude? could easily have been bisexual. literally any of the other sapphic affairs Marie has had in the past including one who was married to and cheating on a man? could easily have been a bisexual instead of fucking straight. now you can see that as Marie's POV as a card-carrying lesbian, but it still kind of pisses me off.
(and that's something that often annoys me with lesfic, but whatever. i guess i'll have to shut up and deal.)
-also I don't really love humor that gives me hardcore secondhand embarrassment but i soldiered thru so i guess it's ok.
So. I had some intense emotions about this one. And I think overall I really like it. Might well read it again some day, will probably read the sequel.
I love:
-seeing a lesfic novel that isn't COMPLETELY about the romance
-reading a queer book that acknowledges that you can still love a family that doesn't completely support you being queer
-millionaire lesbian MC (and not in a typical millionaire romance, either)
-family drama, family drama, family drama
-Lorn's dilemma of whether or not to come out of the closet so she can be with the MC
-Seeing two sapphic sisters who love each other
-hell, seeing queer people who love their families in general. okay, i feel like a lot of queer books make it that either your family is COMPLETELY supportive of you being queer and perfect in every way and the Ideal Liberal Poster Family, or your family completely sucks and you need to break with them. Here we see a family that's more complicated than that, and because of that it feels genuine and the love the siblings and other relatives express for each other feels genuine too.
BUT. at the same time, although I gave it five stars because all those things were amazing and beautiful, I DO NOT love:
-acting as if a woman is always either straight or lesbian because bisexuals do not exist. i mean, Lorn? closeted for what, thirty years? never in a lesbian relationship until now? could easily have been bisexual. Erica? dresses and acts like a dyke but still ends up with a dude? could easily have been bisexual. literally any of the other sapphic affairs Marie has had in the past including one who was married to and cheating on a man? could easily have been a bisexual instead of fucking straight. now you can see that as Marie's POV as a card-carrying lesbian, but it still kind of pisses me off.
(and that's something that often annoys me with lesfic, but whatever. i guess i'll have to shut up and deal.)
-also I don't really love humor that gives me hardcore secondhand embarrassment but i soldiered thru so i guess it's ok.
So. I had some intense emotions about this one. And I think overall I really like it. Might well read it again some day, will probably read the sequel.
January 22, 2014
It took me a while to get into the book, but I liked it just enough to keep me going until I was hooked. Not really my thing, but I definitely got a few chuckles out of it. I think the trick for me was to let the voice become that of a NJ Italian woman, then it was a lot easier to suspend disbelief and just enjoy the story and all its exaggerated characters. The one criticism I can give that has little to do with personal taste, is that the protagonist's love interest (I'm being as vague as possible) is not well fleshed-out.
December 7, 2017
This is such a great book. I didnt realise i really like this book so much until the end.. i was like “what? It finished already?” I have to admit though, at the start the narrations was so long i thought i might going to quit.. until it really get into the story that i started to enjoy more and more. I’m glad i was still keep going tho. Because i really enjoy this book. I love both main characters they are so good together!! Oh and i really love uncle Tony speech.
July 22, 2008
I would definitely recommend this book as a great, fun read. I did laugh out loud, especially in the first few chapters. I'm kind of a hard grader, so unless it is Sarah Waters quality or I stay up way too late reading a book, most of my ratings won't go beyond four stars. Comedy is hard (especially to write), and this author did a great job. I'll be looking forward to reading her next one.
May 6, 2009
SanGiovanni get's a 5 star rating just for the fact she doesn't have to force sarcasm and wit. That's one in a million. For writing loveable characters that don't even annoy ME? Give her a, I don't know, what's an award for books? Emmy?
Give her that.
Also, the book was sweet and romantic.
Give her that.
Also, the book was sweet and romantic.
January 10, 2012
funny, smart, entertaining. a rare book in lesbian fiction that SUCCESSFULLY mixes humor, romance, and story telling. ya know often the humor falls short or not much back story. drags a bit sometimes in middle but few books don't. will definitely read this again. I strongly related to main character and still trying to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. :)
December 24, 2007
When a book tells you your going to laugh out loud while reading it, I never believe them...but, I have to say that there were moments when laughter escaped my mouth. Overall it was just another cheesy lesbian book but, totally worth my time...being a cheesy lesbian and all myself.
October 29, 2012
I really enjoyed this book. It was a joy to read and funny in all the right places. Being from a Italian family, I could definetly relate to the main character. I highly recomend this book and look forward to reading the author's next book.
May 3, 2013
I wasn't sure about this one at the beginning. It was a bit of over-the-top Italian family farce. It got better as it went on, especially after they got to Jamaica. The humor felt forced sometimes. I'd say it's a good beach read.
August 3, 2015
I love this kind of romance: sweet, light-hearted and fucking hilarious. I just adore Marie for all her weirdness (god bless her imaginations), her bravery and devotion toward the people she loves. It was no surprise that I finished this book in less than a day.
February 29, 2008
I think it was great. It definately gave an understanding picture of how hard it can be for one not to be out. I also enjoyed that the family was involved in the story.
July 27, 2008
I thought this book was hysterical!! Fun Fun read!
October 25, 2008
Hilarious and heartfelt. I enjoyed these characters and their strained vacationing.
Read
June 20, 2009Light and funny. Good read.
July 29, 2009
This book will make you laugh out loud! Excellent book!
December 5, 2009
This book isn't for someone that wants a "deep read" but it was tons of fun!
July 27, 2011
This novel is a rarity . . . a really funny book from beginning to end, well written, well thought out. I recommend; it cheered me up tremendously.
February 15, 2013
I laughed out loud more times than I can count.
September 7, 2022
Greetings From Jamaica, Wish You Were Queer is a refreshing queer love story, absent of the trite comings out and traumatic endings we've come to expect from the genre. Instead, SanGiovanni whisks readers to a tropical island and indulges us in a real-life fantasy: main character Marie pursues her favorite television actress, who so happens to be vacationing on Jamaica at the same time. What ensues is a passionate lesbian romance that is in equal parts beautiful and hilarious. Past-looking anecdotes about the main character's childhood growing up in a quirky Italian American family and the pesky appearance of this same family on the island recall the adage that 'you don't just marry the person; you marry the whole family.' In the case of this story, readers grow fond of not only Marie but also of the entire cast of familial characters. By the end, you'll be wishing for more time in this world where levity is not a luxury beyond the reach of queer lovers. And indeed, SanGiovanni has penned two more books in the series, so you can have just this.
October 15, 2012
THis book had some really funny parts, which were easy and entertaining to read. The 'romance' part however was very strained, and almost seemed like it was written by a different author. The two themes- romance and comedy- seemed in conflict with each other, as if the styles didn't sync very well together. I think I would enjoy more writing by this author, but without pushing too hard in an area that she clearly didn't feel as comfortable writing-- meaning the actual kiss-face, lets get it on parts. They were really soft and serious, and not in a good way.
February 14, 2020
A fanfic released commercially. The plot is tedious, characters lack more complex personalities, are rather stereotypical (hateful yet lustful ex-gf, doofus protagonist, "yay-go-for it, sista" sibling, etc.) and are "humorously" clumsy too often.
If you like this, you'll probably like Alix & Valerie too. These two books have many things in common.
If you like this, you'll probably like Alix & Valerie too. These two books have many things in common.
May 10, 2022
I LOVED this book. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed out load while reading a book, but I did several times while reading this one. I’m starting Camptown Ladies, next in the series, today and really looking forward to it.
April 23, 2023
A very fun read, I laughed watching these quirky characters move through life, get an inheritance, and vacation in Jamaica. You root them on, and somehow, they succeed. It will make you smile, roll your eyes, and cheer them on!
January 27, 2008
This was a pretty funny book. I just loved the family!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews