I'm Back for More Cash: A Tony Kornheiser Collection Because You Can't Take Two Hundred Newspapers

by Tony Kornheiser

I think it’s really cool to be on a jury. Take the O.J. jury—the people on that jury got book deals, and they got on Nightline , and some of them even got to meet Greta Van Susteren! They were always being written about in the “Juror No. 1, a thirty-six-year-old Caucasian male with a master’s degree who works for a high-tech corporation.” Throw in a line about how “he likes to hunt and fish,” and you’ve got The Dating Game .

I wonder what they’d write about me. “Juror No. 4, a fat, bald, old, whiny Caucasian man who dresses like a vagrant and has complained incessantly about the texture of the toilet paper in the jury lavatory.”


I try to diet, but unfortunately I’ve come to the point in life where nearly everything disgusts or disappoints me except food.

And so I eat all day long. If I had a family crest, at this point it would be a man with a chicken breast in one hand, a cheeseburger in the other, and a garland of sour-cream-and-onion potato chips around his head.


Tony Kornheiser is back. The celebrated Washington Post columnist and ESPN radio and TV personality relates his experience as an OnStar user, a proud new owner of the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ, and a “phone-a-friend” on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. And in between, he dishes out political commentary on Monica and Bill and Al and George W.

Read all about his quest to fit into size 36 Dockers and his struggle to buy holiday gifts. And know that in the process you’re handing this Kornheiser guy the dough for these columns twice.


I got into the stock market late. I was deep in my forties and I still had all my money in the bank, earning 2 percent, like it was low-fat milk. My friends laughed at me. Even the people at the bank laughed at me—they had all their money in the market.

So I gave my money to a financial adviser, who promised me he would get me a greater return than the bank.

A baboon could do that, Tony.

Yes, but would a baboon give me steak knives?

—from I’m Back for More Cash

Genres: Humor, Sports, Nonfiction, Comedy, Biography, Journalism

400 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2002

Reviews

[angrykitty]

kornheiser is awesome. this was his first book published after pti started. i know that a lot of people can't stand him, and i understand that, but i find him to be really funny in an "i'm old and cranky and i don't care if that's how i come across" kind of way.

[Jeramey]

It's a bit dated at this point, so my rating certainly would have been higher if I read this book ten years ago.

The book is merely a collection of Kornheiser's Washington Post columns, don't go in expecting one long narrative. That said, it's still a fairly enjoyable read.

[Dennis Hogan]

Finished I’m Back for More Cash: A Tony Kornheiser Collection (Because You Can’t Take Two Hundred Newspapers into the Bathroom). Kornheiser is the co-host of ESPN’s Pardon The Interruption. This book is a compilation of the column he wrote for the Washington Post Style section, the last one written in 2001. He spares no politician and many of the columns are laugh out loud funny. I only tired a bit during the Clinton/Monica Lewinsky columns.

[Robert Jones]

Love Kornheiser on PTI and maybe one of the few who liked him on MNF. Aware he was an excellent journalist but didn’t know, until I read this book, how bitingly sarcastic and funny his writing was. Of course some of the topics are dated but the writing about his father and family hit home. The Bill Clinton stuff was great - such memories. Bought used Amazon, read in FL.

[Ike]

One word = elderly

[Bill]

Some of the political themed columns are now a little dated, but the ones about family and friends are timeless.

[Annete]

A great collection of Washington Post Lifestyle columns written by a pre-PTI Tony Kornheiser. I found the book very funny throughout. It isn't a complete laugh-fest, however; Tony does take the time to share some of the sadder events in his life. These moments - few and far between - are deeply moving, giving a view into Tony's grief or outrage.

But for the most part, Tony had me laughing. Having only known about Tony (and his wit) from his appearances on ESPN, I had no idea what a gift he had for turning the mundane into the hilarious. I'm sort of sorry that he stopped writing this column, for there will be no more books like this one.

At least I can still catch him on PTI.

[Craig Adamson]

Nice work Mr. Tony. Started as a fan of his radio show so this book was a bit anti-climactic. Really enjoyed the first half of the book as I enjoy his curmudgeonly humor and frustration with how the world won't conform to him.

The second half was a grind. Funny but not as funny. Probably what my friends really think of me after a few days. Part of it also had to do with the age/references of his column. Back in the day and read once a week-good stuff! Reading one after another about things that happened 10-15 years ago got tedious and less fun. Might have been a 5 star at the time but 3 is all this curmudgeon can give.

[Christian]

I really liked this book bc I really enjoyed Tony's radio show on ESPN. Bc of the exposure to the radio show I could read this book and hear Tony's voice telling the store - which I believe adds to the enjoyment. I was also already familiar with the family including his wonder dog and that too added to the humor. I laughed out loud on several occasions and struggled to read passages to my wife bc I was laughing so hard, but I also had worried that somehow I had aged 20 years and transformed into one of Tony K's cronies... or my dad.

[Becky]

This is well written in the sense that I can hear Tony saying these exact things. I am familiar with TK from PTI so it was interesting to hear him expound on something other than sports. They are not ordered chronologically but divided into five sections compiled from his Washington Post 'Style' columns. The political section felt dated because it is: circa 2000. My favorite was the one about taking drivers ed, the low point was the Clinton/Lewinsky section.

The compendium felt a bit drudgerous towards the end, his snark lends better to a weekly feature (or half hour TV show.)

[Paul]

Hilarious. Gotta love that Mr. Tony. His topical columns are a little dated but still funny. (Who can forgot Monicagate?) But he's at his best when he's writing about family matters (caring for and then losing a parent; taking his daughter to college for the first time), his financial expertise, and the differences between men and women. I kept my wife from getting any sleep because I would jiggle the bed laughing so hard when I would read the book at night before going to sleep.

[Chris Kaftan]

Tony K is one of the tandem of reporters on ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption" along with his Washington Post colleague, Michael Wilbon. Tony's sense of humor brings a new perspective in sports writing.

[Jeanette]

Tony has always made me laugh, I used to love reading his washington post articles. He's so darn witty..and his dry sarcasm just makes me chuckle...it was a great read....I will probably re-read it to relive the laughter...

[Ken Schroeder]

The political commentary was really fascinating. Hearing him talk about the Bush's and the Clinton's back in 1998 was pretty fun. I think the collection was tough though, since they were grouped and his 10 articles on the weather all sounded the same. Funny, but kinda the same.

[Jason]

Same Tony

I've listened to Kornheiser's radio show since 2002, but I never actually read any of his articles until this book. It's the same humor, same smart self degrading, bloated yoddeling. Some of it is dated, but still more current than his jokes. I loved it.

[Ben]

Even more hilarious columns by Tony Kornheiser which appeared in the Washington Post.

[Matthew Petrus]

Funny but dated. Good bathroom reading.

[Mark]

Kornheiser's great on PTI, but I've come of the opinion that columnist compilations are generally shit as they are so limited geographically, temporally, etc.

[Matthew]

before he became unbearable he was a funny writer.

[Scott]

Have always loved Mr. Tony's sarcastic/cynical wit. This is a greatest hits version of that.

[Katharine Ott]

"I'm Back for More Cash" - written by Tony Kornheiser and published in 2002 by Villard. A mostly amusing collection of stories, except for the political ones, which fell flat.

[Kris Robinson]

I couldn't put it down because of how witty it was; I didn't want to stop laughing

[Waylon Massie]

I shouldn't hold this against the author, but I thought I was buying a sports book, because I only knew Kornheiser from ESPN's PTI.