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Gazza: Mein verrücktes Leben

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„Ich bin krank, das weiß ich jetzt. Es ist nicht so sehr der Alkohol – der ist eher die Wirkung, nicht die Ursache. Ich leide schon mein ganzes Leben an einer Krankheit, die sich in meinem Kopf abspielt. Zum einen habe ich immer noch Angst vor dem Sterben. Wenn ich ein entzündetes Auge habe, bin ich überzeugt, ich werde blind. Wenn ich Zuckungen kriege, überfällt mich die Panik, und alles wird noch schlimmer. Bei ganz simplen, unwichtigen Dingen neige ich zu Zwangshandlungen, wie ein kleines Kind: Alles muß so- und soviel Mal, genau in der richtigen Reihenfolge wiederholt werden oder am richtigen Platz liegen. Die meisten Leute streifen das wieder ab und vergessen, daß sie je damit Probleme hatten. Aber eben nur, wenn sie erwachsen werden... Nun ist genau der richtige Zeitpunkt, um Ihnen alles über meine phantastische Karriere zu erzählen. Und sie war phantastisch. Zweifellos. Trotz allem.“ Paul Gascoigne

384 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2004

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About the author

Paul Gascoigne

20 books7 followers
Paul John Gascoigne

nicknamed Gazza, is a former England international footballer.

Playing as a midfielder, he began his professional career with local club Newcastle United in 1985. Three years later he was sold on to Tottenham Hotspur for a £2 million fee. He won the FA Cup with Spurs in 1991, before he was sold to Italian club Lazio for £5.5 million the following year. In July 1995, he was transferred to Rangers for £4.3 million, and helped the club to two league titles and two trophies. He returned to England in a £3.4 million move to Middlesbrough in March 1998. He made his debut in the Premier League in the 1998–99 season, having already featured in the 1998 Football League Cup Final. He switched to Everton in July 2000, and later had spells with Burnley, Gansu Tianma (China), and Boston United.

Though well known throughout Europe for his club career, his football career is particularly remembered for his 57 England caps. He also won 13 caps for the England under-21s and four caps for the England B team. He was part of the England squad that reached fourth place in the 1990 FIFA World Cup, and was famously reduced to tears after receiving a yellow card in the semi-final with West Germany, which meant he would be suspended for the final itself had England won the game. He also helped the team to the semi-finals of UEFA Euro 1996, and again embedded himself in the national consciousness with a spectacular goal against Scotland that was coupled with a memorable goal celebration.

After retiring from professional football, his life became dominated by his mental and emotional problems, particularly his alcoholism. His problems have received regular coverage in the British press, especially during his various run-ins with the law in 2008-2010. He has attempted to live without alcohol on numerous occasions, though numerous rehabilitation programmes have provided only temporary relief. His problems ended his coaching career, and he has not worked since being fired as the manager of Kettering Town in 2005.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
180 reviews76 followers
August 4, 2017


Quite haunting really, to read here how Glenn Hoddle, then England Manager, excluded Paul Gascoigne from the 1998 World Cup finals. Gazza goes into a destructive frenzy, rage and Hoddle says: "The thing is, Gazza, your head is not right". Yet Hoddle and Gazza were birds of the same feather as far as football is concerned; both of them (from slightly different eras) were superb on the pitch with their pin-point passing and devastating free kicks. Alas both of them hardly fulfilled their potential, but due to different reasons. As we see from this book, Gazza was always his own worst enemy. Whilst one might appreciate the "English sense of humour" to a certain extent, Gazza always went too far. And that is an humongous understatement! What type of zany antics are this? one wonders. Unequivocally and disastrously, Gazza often indulges in such bizarre, outrageous antics "jokes" that would certainly not be tolerated in any way in most other climes. Yes, the football talent is always there, but the baggage that goes with it is uncanny; Gazza's irreverence can hardly be excused even from a toddler, and the eerie stunts and jokes...! Yet, it is clear that this is the very essence of Gazza; he is the patent antithesis of a thoroughly professional, disciplined, rational, sensible footballer. In this work he succeeds in portraying himself on a personal level as a monster (including an ‘abuser’).Yet he has his very good side, his extraordinary generosity for one. ‘One of the things that has given me greatest pleasure in my life is having been able to provide nice homes for everyone in my family.’ However he is always glimpsing the precipice! Apparently, a honest, often shocking work...
Profile Image for Leo ..
Author 14 books417 followers
July 29, 2020
Great book Gazza. I have read many biographies and I really enjoyed this one. Gazza should have been protected. What a fantastic player. Sadly mixed up though. Gazza was one of a kind.🐯👍
Profile Image for Swati.
25 reviews21 followers
October 5, 2014
This book was really hard to rate. Yes, it looks honest, and you can't help but appreciate the candour. However, you also can't help but loathe certain personality traits that Gazza exudes in his writings.

I liked that the book reads like he's actually talking to you. I read it all in his voice. In the first half, you may shake your head and despair for the chirpy, child-like prankster, and it may seem like he hasn't yet outgrown high school, but it's hard to get through that part of the book without smiling. When things get darker, you start to wonder where all that went.

Of course, I love Gazza for being a brilliant footballer. This, though, was an autobiography that contains quite a lot of personal information and for that, I must say that I don't think I can respect Gazza as a person. When you normally read about autobiographies of people you consider to be greats, you are allowed to form such opinions, I think. It's not because he made mistakes, but because of his attitudes towards them. Sure, he repeatedly calls himself a bastard, and it seems like he's owning up. However, there's always that "but". Not just a "but" that wants to respectfully tell things in his perspective and help readers understand why he came to make those mistakes. It's the irksome "but" that oozes the sense of self-entitlement. The sense I got was that of a demand for forgiveness and a demand to be accepted because after all, he came clean. The whole 'I'm a nice bloke because I give to charity and I help people, and the few mistakes I made aren't leaving me because people are talking about them!' thing. I was also disappointed by his misogynistic attitudes in bits...

(Spoiler alert)

...He *chose* to give his wife things and yet, he turns around and lists it as one of the things that should "explain" how she was at fault too. I don't understand how it was wrong for her to see another man while he claims to have been faithful after a divorce. I also don't see how it is okay for him to have a problem with how she told he press about his wife-beating. He claims he didn't want the papers to know. Of course he didn't!

I felt that I could sympathize with Gazza sometimes, though. The undue targetting by the press, the mental and physical health issues that kept hounding him... Things could have been easier for him if it weren't for these factors, even considering the fact that a lot of the physical health issues were self-wrought.

I think this book required a lot of stomach that I wasn't prepared for. Things like this should come with massive trigger warnings for abuse and depression. All in all, a seemingly honest book, that reminds you that there's a reason the things you wrestle with on an everyday basis are called "demons". A bloody good reason, too.
Profile Image for Dane Cobain.
Author 22 books321 followers
August 3, 2014
He’s the footballer we love to hate to love – Paul Gascoigne, one of the original ‘bad boys‘ of football, a man who’s faced many of the same struggles as George Best. His bestselling autobiography covers everything you’d expect, from his early career to his downfall at the hands of drink and drugs.

In fact, My Story leaves off before the modern day, which can only be a blessing – since its publication, the ex-footballer has been dismissed from his managerial post at Kettering Town and been in trouble with the media due to his run-ins with the law. That said, you can hardly fault Headline, the book’s publishers, for failing to realise that Gazza’s career as a bad boy was only just beginning back in 2004, when the book was first published.

The actual quality of the writing is pretty good, way more than you’d expect from a guy who’s presumably lost half of his brain cells from too many headers and too many drinks. One can only presume that it’s because of the talents of Hunter Davies, Gazza’s co-author – Hunter is a veteran journalist, the author of dozens of books including the only ever authorised biography of The Beatles. I can’t help but feeling that it’s his influence which has made this book so readable, a little like the written equivalent of watching reality TV shows.

The book is also packed with photographs from the footballer’s own archive, from the young Gazza in his football kit to a shot of the star fishing “while in Arizona at the Cottonwood clinic” in May 2003. The caption for the photo reveals that the star keeps it in his wallet so that his happy, smiling face will reassure him whenever he’s feeling down – not that it always works for him.

Now, you’d think that at over five hundred pages, Gazza’s autobiography would simply be too long to be enjoyable – surprisingly, that’s not the case. I’m the first to admit that I’m a bit of a bigot when it comes to books, and I’m quick to judge celebrity novels and autobiographies, but this is actually one of the better ones and it’s just the right length to get the job done without boring you along the way.

Of course, I wouldn’t recommend reading it if you’re not a football fan, because ultimately that’s what it’s all about – this isn’t like the story of a rock ‘n’ roll star, which you can read and be absorbed by whether you’re a fan of their music or not. Gaza is the type of legend who you can only appreciate if you watched his career develop, otherwise he’s just a crazy old man who’s throwing his life away to the demon drink.

It’s tragic really, as the media are all too keen to portray Gazza as a scoundrel who can’t control his emotions. Here, you see a more civilised side to him, you see inside the confused mind of Paul Gascoigne and realise that he’s a person just like us. I think that’s probably why he wanted to release the book in the first place.
Profile Image for Matti Karjalainen.
3,255 reviews88 followers
June 17, 2019
Paul Gascoignen "Gazza: My Story" (Headline, 2005) on kiistatta huikean lahjakkaan, mutta samalla pahasti alkoholisoituneen ja henkisesti epäkypsän urheilijan (Englannin Matti Nykäsen?) kehuttu ja kai palkittukin elämäkerta, jossa varsinaisen kirjoitustyön lienee tehnyt ensimmäisen virallisen The Beatles -elämäkerran kynäillyt Hunter Davies.

Luin kirjan nopeasti. Gazza kertoo elämästään jalkapalloilijana värikkäästi, ja jotkut älyvapaat sattumukset kentän ulkopuolella olivat varsin hauskoja. "Daft as a brush" -luonnehdinta pitää paikkaansa. Tarinalla on kuitenkin synkempi puolensa, johon kuuluvat alkoholismi, itsetuhoisia piirteitä saava masennus ja väkivaltaiset kohtaukset, joiden kohteeksi joutuivat niin vaimo Shel kuin Englannin maajoukkueen managerina toimineen Glenn Hoddlen työhuone.

Gascoigne kertoo edesottamuksistaan kentällä ja sen ulkopuolella rehelliseltä kuulostavaan sävyyn, myöntäen tekemänsä virheet ja sortuen oikeastaan vasta pokkariversion lisäluvuissa panettelemaan muita - eli tässä vaiheessa entistä vaimoaan, joka ei tosin hänkään tainnut olla kultaisin mahdollinen ihminen.

Gascoignen ylitseampuvalle käytökselle on vaikea keksiä selitystä. Lieneekö syy ollut traumaattisessa lapsuudessa, jonkinlaisessa persoonallisuushäiriöissä vai niiden yhdistelmässä? Gazza ei kuitenkaan tunnu oppivan koskaan virheistään, ja usein hänen käytöksensä on täysin anteeksiantamatonta. En haluaisi moista ihmistä omaan tuttavapiiriini, vaikka monet entiset pelikaverit hänestä sydämellisiä todistuksia ovat antaneet. Viimeisimmät, kirjan julkaisemisen jälkeen julkaistut uutiset kertovat nekin karua kieltään.

Gascoignen mukaan hän saavutti urallaan enemmän kuin olisi uskonut, mutta lukijana en voinut välttyä moneen kertaan toistetulta ajatukselta, etteikö hetkellisesti aivan maaginen pelaaja olisi voinut olla vieläkin parempi, mikäli hän olisi hankkiutunut ajoissa hoitoon.
Profile Image for Chris Morgan.
28 reviews1 follower
April 4, 2012
Simply the best bio I've ever read, funny, honest, sad, revealing & highly entertaining.
If you know gazza, you'll know that he is full of stories from the football world.
One of my all time favourite books
Highly recommended
Profile Image for Hugh.
22 reviews
July 20, 2024
I started reading this during the Euros, hoping that it would come home. It wasn’t meant to be, but this book was still brilliant to read.
Profile Image for Steven Scaffardi.
Author 2 books79 followers
June 13, 2013
At a time when English football fans can only look on with envy at the types of players the rest of the world seem to be able to produce, I decided to pick up a copy of Gazza: My Story and wonder what just might have been.

The result was far more frustrating than enjoyable as I found myself shaking my head like a disappointed father more times than laughing at the ridiculous situations Gazza got himself into during a playing career which was wrecked by injury and self destruction.

Paul Gascoigne was the most naturally gifted British player since George Best, and he captured our hearts at Itlalia '90 with his skillful displays and of course those semi-final tears. And despite flashes of brilliance over the next decade or so, Gazza would become more famous for his front page headlines rather than those on the sports pages...

Click here to read the rest of this review:
http://stevenscaffardi.blogspot.co.uk...
Profile Image for Sunny.
908 reviews61 followers
August 19, 2013
i loved this. so honestly written and hilarious at times and sad at times also. for me the greatest attacking footballer from England in the last 30 years. name me another? the book talks about his problems with drink and depression but also hilariously talks about all the brilliant pranks he pulled (although i would never eat a mince pie from him if he offered me one ;) very endearing and if its true what he wrote about giving all those cars and houses away to his nearest and dearest to the point he was left with hardly anything then an incredibly warm and genuine guy also. would love to meet him and give him a hug to be honest. what a talent. the champion of the first world cup i ever properly remember seeing. an incredible player and apart from all the crap he put his wife through an incredible guy.
Profile Image for James Holloway.
4 reviews
July 2, 2014
Gazza is a tough read... while detailing his football career, Paul Gascoigne describes in great detail the battles he fought (with himself) dealing with alcoholism, drugs, paranoi, OCD, probably even ADHD (although) it's not defined as such. Paul's writer, Hunter Davies, allows Paul to spend too much time on these subjects, the negative aspects, that it is hard to believe Gascoigne when he says he is happy. However, I think it is an important read, as there are several people in the world fighting the same time of battles, or have a loved one doing so. I hope he does feel proud about his life, his achievements, and in addition, I really hope Paul finds peace for himself.

I realize this is not much of a book review, but it's my first one... so I will get better in time. :)
Profile Image for Andy Hickman.
7,433 reviews52 followers
August 16, 2019
Paul Gascoigne "Gazza: My Story" (Headline, 2005)
Oh, so Glenn Hoddle & Paul Gascoigne have not been the best of mates since the start of the 1998 World Cup finals!
"The thing is, Gazza, your head is not right."
Humorous and insightful, whilst clearly from his biased POV.

‘One of the things that has given me greatest pleasure in my life is having been able to provide nice homes for everyone in my family.’
..
Profile Image for Pinko Palest.
961 reviews49 followers
January 26, 2023
quite a lot of it is thoroughly enjoyable, and really fun. The first chapters are probably the best and funniest. One of the very best football autobiographies out there. That it's Hunter Davies doing the ghost-writing was definitely important in making this a very good book indeed
Profile Image for Karen Osment.
229 reviews1 follower
October 20, 2013
I enjoyed this book as a Gazza fan and football fan of the 90s. It brought back some lovely memories of the World Cup 90 and Euro 96 and there are some interesting insights to what really happens to a footballer and what the public are told! Although it felt quite rushed over certain eras and I'm not sure he has been totally open and honest about his troubles along the way, I'm sure he was papering over the cracks. Its also sad that it finished 9 years ago with him clean, sober and optimistic for the future and we all know what has happened since. Still an enjoyable read that has made me remember my love for this fantastic player :) xxx
Profile Image for Bill McFadyen.
663 reviews4 followers
June 28, 2018
So much has been written about Paul Gascoigne over the last thirty years - this volume updated in 2005 and written by Hunter Davies runs over the usual football tales. Growing up , japes and games but also gives an insight into the demons that have surrounded Gazza - drink , drugs and depression - poor life choices - his relationship with his wife being a story of sadness and gold digging.
I have little sympathy left for Paul , the support shown by many over the years has been poorly used in his attempts to live a reasonably happy life.
He was a magician on the field - sadly not off it - Hunter Davies succeeded in explaining some of the reasons why.
Profile Image for EAB.
45 reviews
October 4, 2013
Reading this has made me glad I have no exceptional skills! It is written as though he is just talking and seems quite honest though he does attempt to address some of the "lies" the press have written about him and it just made me wonder more than ever what's true and what's not. Feel really sorry for the guy, alcohol is a terrible addiction, but I think this book made clear he has had mental health issues throughout his life and his current condition seemed inevitable. The book is gripping and if you have any interest in football at all it would be worth a read.
210 reviews2 followers
July 20, 2014
Full and frank account of Gazza's life, which leaves you feeling bitterly disappointed, for what this man could have done had it not been for the demon dribk. The book is well written and keeps things relevant and interesting, some times these biographies harp on about nonsense for no reason. To say its a must for any football fan goes without saying, but I believe non football fans would enjoy this.
Profile Image for Joe Holden.
2 reviews
March 17, 2015
Honest and funny account of his life. I found the book hilarious and although others are saying they were frustrated with Gazzas antics, I don't think you should have a view other than the fact every genius has a touch of madness and without it they would never have been the genius we were undoubtedly reading about in the first place.
Profile Image for Bjorn Hardarson.
178 reviews6 followers
October 8, 2011
I read George Best and now Gazza, it is so depressing seeing such talent as Gazza and George Best ruin their live and success with alcohol.
it is not a motivational book rather something to help you watch out what might happen during success
Profile Image for Tim Evans.
63 reviews1 follower
February 3, 2012
Written before recent problems, it's now somewhat tragic reading Gazza telling us how he's going to be ok. Great stories about his glory days for Spurs and England. Tinged with sadness throughout though.
Profile Image for Neil.
123 reviews37 followers
October 27, 2014
Read this about 5 years ago. Its a shame where his life has gone but that's what happens when you marry the wrong woman and get taken to the cleaners. Its a great read about a gifted but flawed genius and a legend of english football.
Profile Image for Ashutosh Shrestha.
8 reviews
September 25, 2016
One the best autobiography. The honesty with he describes the most embarrassing things is exceptional. Most books I read only good things this has all the bad things and truth. Worth a read to every football fan.
Profile Image for Jamie Owens.
10 reviews
May 21, 2018
Absolutely fantastic autobiography this. I finished this in less than 2 days and just could not put it down. funny, happy, sad, depressing, calm, it has everything. Highly highly recommended if your a fan of Gazza
Profile Image for abrookingheader.
6 reviews1 follower
March 2, 2010
Any football fan of my generation should have a browse of this if you have a free wet weekend...
Profile Image for Chris Harrison.
121 reviews2 followers
September 2, 2011
Poor Gazza, funny in parts, sad in parts...I've read better but worth a look at
Profile Image for Diogo.
2 reviews1 follower
August 28, 2012
Very entretaining to read, the life of a crazy boy....
Profile Image for Abhinav.
272 reviews262 followers
January 14, 2013
3 to 3.5 stars.

This is a book that gets better with every page you read. A fairly decent read about one of the most controversial & talked-about English footballers in recent times. Recommended.
Profile Image for Sally Leggett.
1 review
April 27, 2013
Loved this book. I ended up wanting to mother him, hes such a lost cause, like a little boy lost really
11 reviews
September 1, 2013
Interesting read.... a talented footballer loses his way in life.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews

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