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Mind over Money: Overcoming the Money Disorders That Threaten Our Financial Health
Do you overspend? Undersave? Keep secrets about money from a spouse or family member? Are you anxious about dealing with your finances? If so, you are not alone. Let's face it–just about all of have complicated, if not downright dysfunctional, relationships with money.
As Drs. Brad and Ted Klontz, a father and son team of pioneers in the emerging field of financial psychology explain, our disordered relationships with money aren’t our fault. They don’t stem from a lack of knowledge or a failure of will. Instead, they are a product of subconscious beliefs and thought patterns, rooted in our childhoods, that are so deeply ingrained in us, they shape the way we deal with money our entire adult lives. But we are not powerless. By looking deep into ourselves and our pasts, we can learn to recognize these negative and self-defeating patterns of thinking, and replace them with better, healthier ones.
Drawing on their decades of experience helping patients resolve their troubling issues with money, the Klontzes and describe the twelve most common “money disorders” - like financial infidelity, money avoidance, compulsive shopping, financial enabling, and more — and explain how we can learn to identify them, understand their root causes, and ultimately overcome them.
So whether you want to learn how to make better financial decision, have more open communication with your spouse or kids about the family finances, or simply be better equipped to deal with the challenges of these tough economic times, this book will help you repair your dysfunctional relationship with money and live a healthier financial life.
From the Hardcover edition.
As Drs. Brad and Ted Klontz, a father and son team of pioneers in the emerging field of financial psychology explain, our disordered relationships with money aren’t our fault. They don’t stem from a lack of knowledge or a failure of will. Instead, they are a product of subconscious beliefs and thought patterns, rooted in our childhoods, that are so deeply ingrained in us, they shape the way we deal with money our entire adult lives. But we are not powerless. By looking deep into ourselves and our pasts, we can learn to recognize these negative and self-defeating patterns of thinking, and replace them with better, healthier ones.
Drawing on their decades of experience helping patients resolve their troubling issues with money, the Klontzes and describe the twelve most common “money disorders” - like financial infidelity, money avoidance, compulsive shopping, financial enabling, and more — and explain how we can learn to identify them, understand their root causes, and ultimately overcome them.
So whether you want to learn how to make better financial decision, have more open communication with your spouse or kids about the family finances, or simply be better equipped to deal with the challenges of these tough economic times, this book will help you repair your dysfunctional relationship with money and live a healthier financial life.
From the Hardcover edition.
299 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2009
154 people are currently reading
1375 people want to read
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August 28, 2017
Edited note:
I bought and listened to the longer version, after having been frustrated by what I found out was the abridged one, and I do believe that the longer version is really a better option than the shorter version. However, I stand by some of the things I said in my previous review (below.) This is not a good self-help book. It has a lot of exercises in the back to help you figure out what your money scripts are, but they're not easy. They involve a lot of introspection and some drawing skills. They're also not easy to follow when you're listening to an audiobook. This is the best book I've ever read about the connection between psychology and money, but only because it's really the only book I've read about the connection between psychology and money.
Some of the ideas aren't as refined as they ought to be. For example, they say people are overspenders or underspenders, but you can be both simultaneously. You can be the kind of person who always buys the very best clothing but doesn't pay the rent. Or you can be the kind of person who will be very proud and have zero problem paying to fix the roof, yet feel tremendously guilty buying oneself new clothes. They didn't touch on fiscal anorexia, when one person stops buying things out of a desire to make oneself small in a relationship with shared finances. The Klonz's also demonize two things I think are very common, calling them "financial incest", namely, helping ones adult children financially and talking about finances with young children. I think that helping your children financially, such as giving them money for college or the down payment on a house, is something most parents aspire to do, something which can infer significant advantages on the children fortunate enough to receive them. And their test decries anyone who talks to young children about financial difficulties, yet many of the people who had issues said that their problems were because their parents saw money as a purely taboo subject. Clearly there has to be some healthy middle ground.
My updated review is that while this book has many flaws, it's still a fascinating subject which has as far as I know not been covered in modern non fiction.
Recently I've become fascinated by the relationship that people have with money. It means so much to so many different people, and it is one of the last taboos, so it's mysterious. I devour articles on The Billfold about what things cost, and how much people pay for rent and groceries. It must feel like what people felt like to read sex research back in the sixties. Am I normal? If not, where do I lay on the spectrum? What are other people like?
But even my favorite blog talks more about people's attempts to save and less about people's emotional relationship with money. I couldn't find any information anywhere that said what I wanted to know. If I can't find a book on this subject, I thought, maybe I should decide to research and write it myself. Not that I really want to do that, because I hate doing research.
Lucky for me, Planet Money recommended a book called "Mind Over Money" that talked about the very subject I've been fascinated by. I didn't realize at the time that they were talking about a very similar book with an identical title, but that's okay, I'll read that one in time.
This is a very short book. As an audiobook, it's less than four hours long. It touches on how people's attitudes from money relate to specific touchpoints from their childhood, the typical Freudian/psychological approach. The end suggests some exercises to uncover these which involve drawing maps of your familial relationships or drawing an egg and filling it in with events from your life that involved money. If I'd had a paper book rather than an audiobook, I might have tried these, even though they seemed rather silly, but as it was I barely had enough motivation to go back and find where he mentions the code to take their financial attitudes test.
The Klonz's (father and son, both psychiatrists, co-authored the book) are also Freudian in that they tend to see people in terms of pathologies deviating from some uninflected norm. I took the test and it said I have hoarding tendencies (because some items have a psychological connection to me and I hold on to them even though they are not useful--photographs of my kids) and that I have enabling tendencies (sometimes I spend more money on a party that I think I ought to have--that falls under "giving money to others and regretting it.") and that I don't have a gambling problem (falls under the category of "no duh.") There are no variations of okay. This is not a personality test to figure out which of the X number of finance personalities you have. The problem I think I have isn't even listed among them.
To me, this book felt like the introductory chapter of the book I wanted to read. It doesn't cover the subject deeply enough, and while I liked the anecdotes, they didn't elucidate the questions that the authors promised to answer. Why do we happily spend $20 for a stupid hat when we're on vacation, but not spend $10 on a hat we actually like when we're not on vacation? How do personal attitudes towards money affect a career, especially with salary negotiation? How do you figure out your partner's attitude towards money and find out if you're compatible? How have attitudes towards money changed in the past few decades? What are the different types of attitudes towards money and which are most common in different demographics? In short, I wanted someone else to do research and tell me the facts. Isn't that why we buy nonfiction? Have I mentioned I hate research?
The other thing this book is not is an effective self-help book. If you do have a problem (overspending, or feeling like you aren't deserving of money, or a miser who refuses to spend money even when you ought to) there aren't any clues to change, except "find a therapist who specializes in finances," for example, the doctors who authored this book? I've gotten better advice and feedback from bloggers. A good self help book would have chapters called "why you need a fuck-off fund" or "go ahead and buy that latte: how to maximize your spend-to-enjoyment ratio." a good self-help book would include a test in the book (or online, admittedly, it's easier) and when you were done, it would says something like "You're in the hedonist category. You see money as perishable, that needs to be spent as soon as it comes in. Here are your most likely problems, and how to overcome them." or "You're in the lady bountiful category. You see money as the thing that takes care of others. This is good because X, but you might have problems with Y. Here's how to overcome that."
I didn't even feel like we got the full benefit of their experience. There were a few anecdotes, and a discussion of the cause and effect of those, but it didn't go far enough. In short, the authors didn't have enough material to fill an entire book.
EDIT: Just found out from a commenter on my blog that I listened to the abridged version, not the full version, which is nearly 2.5X as long. So there's a chance that the longer version is that much better.
I bought and listened to the longer version, after having been frustrated by what I found out was the abridged one, and I do believe that the longer version is really a better option than the shorter version. However, I stand by some of the things I said in my previous review (below.) This is not a good self-help book. It has a lot of exercises in the back to help you figure out what your money scripts are, but they're not easy. They involve a lot of introspection and some drawing skills. They're also not easy to follow when you're listening to an audiobook. This is the best book I've ever read about the connection between psychology and money, but only because it's really the only book I've read about the connection between psychology and money.
Some of the ideas aren't as refined as they ought to be. For example, they say people are overspenders or underspenders, but you can be both simultaneously. You can be the kind of person who always buys the very best clothing but doesn't pay the rent. Or you can be the kind of person who will be very proud and have zero problem paying to fix the roof, yet feel tremendously guilty buying oneself new clothes. They didn't touch on fiscal anorexia, when one person stops buying things out of a desire to make oneself small in a relationship with shared finances. The Klonz's also demonize two things I think are very common, calling them "financial incest", namely, helping ones adult children financially and talking about finances with young children. I think that helping your children financially, such as giving them money for college or the down payment on a house, is something most parents aspire to do, something which can infer significant advantages on the children fortunate enough to receive them. And their test decries anyone who talks to young children about financial difficulties, yet many of the people who had issues said that their problems were because their parents saw money as a purely taboo subject. Clearly there has to be some healthy middle ground.
My updated review is that while this book has many flaws, it's still a fascinating subject which has as far as I know not been covered in modern non fiction.
Recently I've become fascinated by the relationship that people have with money. It means so much to so many different people, and it is one of the last taboos, so it's mysterious. I devour articles on The Billfold about what things cost, and how much people pay for rent and groceries. It must feel like what people felt like to read sex research back in the sixties. Am I normal? If not, where do I lay on the spectrum? What are other people like?
But even my favorite blog talks more about people's attempts to save and less about people's emotional relationship with money. I couldn't find any information anywhere that said what I wanted to know. If I can't find a book on this subject, I thought, maybe I should decide to research and write it myself. Not that I really want to do that, because I hate doing research.
Lucky for me, Planet Money recommended a book called "Mind Over Money" that talked about the very subject I've been fascinated by. I didn't realize at the time that they were talking about a very similar book with an identical title, but that's okay, I'll read that one in time.
This is a very short book. As an audiobook, it's less than four hours long. It touches on how people's attitudes from money relate to specific touchpoints from their childhood, the typical Freudian/psychological approach. The end suggests some exercises to uncover these which involve drawing maps of your familial relationships or drawing an egg and filling it in with events from your life that involved money. If I'd had a paper book rather than an audiobook, I might have tried these, even though they seemed rather silly, but as it was I barely had enough motivation to go back and find where he mentions the code to take their financial attitudes test.
The Klonz's (father and son, both psychiatrists, co-authored the book) are also Freudian in that they tend to see people in terms of pathologies deviating from some uninflected norm. I took the test and it said I have hoarding tendencies (because some items have a psychological connection to me and I hold on to them even though they are not useful--photographs of my kids) and that I have enabling tendencies (sometimes I spend more money on a party that I think I ought to have--that falls under "giving money to others and regretting it.") and that I don't have a gambling problem (falls under the category of "no duh.") There are no variations of okay. This is not a personality test to figure out which of the X number of finance personalities you have. The problem I think I have isn't even listed among them.
To me, this book felt like the introductory chapter of the book I wanted to read. It doesn't cover the subject deeply enough, and while I liked the anecdotes, they didn't elucidate the questions that the authors promised to answer. Why do we happily spend $20 for a stupid hat when we're on vacation, but not spend $10 on a hat we actually like when we're not on vacation? How do personal attitudes towards money affect a career, especially with salary negotiation? How do you figure out your partner's attitude towards money and find out if you're compatible? How have attitudes towards money changed in the past few decades? What are the different types of attitudes towards money and which are most common in different demographics? In short, I wanted someone else to do research and tell me the facts. Isn't that why we buy nonfiction? Have I mentioned I hate research?
The other thing this book is not is an effective self-help book. If you do have a problem (overspending, or feeling like you aren't deserving of money, or a miser who refuses to spend money even when you ought to) there aren't any clues to change, except "find a therapist who specializes in finances," for example, the doctors who authored this book? I've gotten better advice and feedback from bloggers. A good self help book would have chapters called "why you need a fuck-off fund" or "go ahead and buy that latte: how to maximize your spend-to-enjoyment ratio." a good self-help book would include a test in the book (or online, admittedly, it's easier) and when you were done, it would says something like "You're in the hedonist category. You see money as perishable, that needs to be spent as soon as it comes in. Here are your most likely problems, and how to overcome them." or "You're in the lady bountiful category. You see money as the thing that takes care of others. This is good because X, but you might have problems with Y. Here's how to overcome that."
I didn't even feel like we got the full benefit of their experience. There were a few anecdotes, and a discussion of the cause and effect of those, but it didn't go far enough. In short, the authors didn't have enough material to fill an entire book.
EDIT: Just found out from a commenter on my blog that I listened to the abridged version, not the full version, which is nearly 2.5X as long. So there's a chance that the longer version is that much better.
April 2, 2020
Buku ini tidak begitu tebal--tidak sampai 300 halaman--tapi pembacaan saya berlangsung begitu lambat, karena banyaknya yang saya catat dan kembangkan.
Siapa yang tidak punya masalah dengan uang? Kebanyakan orang mungkin punya. Buku ini mengatakan bahwa uang merupakan sumber stres nomor satu di Amerika Serikat; jangan-jangan bagi orang Indonesia juga?
Sedari awal pembaca sudah disuguhi berbagai kisah pribadi dalam hubungannya dengan uang--atau, buku ini menggunakan istilah, "skrip uang"--yang mungkin saja relatable. Kisah-kisah tersebut menunjukkan bagaimana pengalaman masa kecil membentuk sikap seseorang terhadap uang. Ada yang beranggapan bahwa uang identik dengan orang jahat, sehingga ketika dewasa ia sulit memperoleh kenaikan bayaran. Ada yang masa kecilnya kerap dihantui oleh kekurangan uang, sehingga kemudian ia menjadi gila kerja tapi tidak bisa menikmati kekayaan yang telah dikumpulkannya. Dan lain sebagainya. Manakah skrip uangmu?
Buku ini bisa jadi memedihkan, karena hendak mengajak pembaca untuk mengorek-ngorek masa lalu, menggali ingatan sehubungan dengan uang, yang kemungkinan menjadi akar penyebab dari masalah finansialnya sekarang.
Meski begitu, penyebabnya tidak mesti berasal dari keluarga sendiri, khususnya orang tua. Penyebabnya bisa dalam skala yang lebih besar, seperti insting kawanan, gelembung ekonomi, krisis moneter, dan sebagainya.
Karena itu, masalah finansial apa pun yang mungkin dialami pembaca, buku ini menekankan bahwa itu bukan akibat dari kesalahannya sendiri. Bagian Satu buku ini menjelaskan bagaimana kebiasaan-kebiasaan finansial tercipta, mulai dari pengalaman traumatis dalam keluarga, perilaku pasar, sampai cara kerja otak.
Bagian mengenai cara kerja otak mengingatkan saya pada buku Male Brain . Kalau di toko buku atau perpustakaan, kedua buku ini mungkin akan sama-sama ditempatkan di rak "Psikologi Populer". Jika Male Brain mengangkat tentang hormon-hormon yang membedakan sifat-sifat lelaki dengan perempuan, buku ini menerangkan tentang bagian-bagian otak yang secara kasar terdiri dari tiga: otak buaya/primitif, otak monyet/limbic, dan otak ilmuwan/rasional.
Keputusan buruk biasanya dibuat ketika otak hewan--alias si buaya dan si monyet--mengambil alih dan mengurung si ilmuwan sehingga tidak bisa ikut bertindak. Otak hewan bisa dibilang merupakan mekanisme bertahan hidup yang telah dipelajari sejak lama dan mungkin berguna sewaktu-waktu, tapi tidak selalu. Adakalanya si ilmuwan atau otak rasional yang mesti dikedepankan, dan untuk itu diperlukan latihan.
Kebetulan, karena saya sedang membaca The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living , saya jadi menyambungkan: jangan-jangan Stoicism merupakan suatu latihan mental agar otak rasional lebih berkembang. Kalau boleh menghubung-hubungkannya lagi dengan ajaran agama, memang keistimewaan manusia di antara makhluk-makluk lainnya adalah akal, yang semestinya diberdayakan melalui membaca, berpikir, dan seterusnya.
Lepas dari penjelasan mengenai berbagai penyebab yang mungkin atas terbentuknya suatu skrip keuangan yang buruk, di Bagian Dua pembaca diajak untuk mengidentifikasi kelainannya. Secara umum, kelainan keuangan dapat dikategorikan sebagai berikut.
I. Kelainan Penghindaran atas Uang
Contohnya:
- Pengingkaran Finansial
- Penolakan Finansial
- Terlalu Hemat
- Terlalu Enggan Mengambil Risiko
II. Kelainan Pemujaan atas Uang
Contohnya:
- Menimbun
- Terlalu Mengambil Risiko yang Tidak Beralasan
- Kecanduan Berjudi
- Workaholism
- Boros
- Kelainan Belanja Kompulsif
III. Kelainan Keuangan dalam Hal Hubungan
- Ketidaksetiaan Finansial
- Inses Finansial
- Pemanfaatan Finansial
- Ketergantungan Finansial
Bagian mengenai kelainan ini juga menarik buat saya. Sebelum buku ini, dalam topik keuangan, buku-buku yang saya baca justru tentang orang-orang yang sengaja hidup tanpa uang sama sekali--dalam jangka waktu yang berbeda-beda. Sepertinya, dengan sendirinya sikap mereka termasuk kategori pertama. Maksud mereka mungkin mulia. Tapi, orang "normal" akan menganggapnya ekstrem. Di samping itu, betapapun inginnya seseorang lepas dari persoalan dengan uang, tidak banyak yang mampu menjalani hidup demikian.
Kalau tidak sanggup hidup tanpa uang sama sekali, paling tidak hal-hal berikut ini dapat dijadikan tujuan sebagai dasar keuangan yang sehat:
- menabung saat ini
- berinvestasi untuk masa depan, dengan berhati-hati terhadap tawaran yang terlihat terlalu menguntungkan; kemungkinannya menipu
- menggunakan uang sewajarnya untuk menikmati hidup dan mencapai tujuan, tapi jangan sampai melebihi penghasilan; memiliki dan mengikuti anggaran pengeluaran yang dibuat dengan penuh kesadaran
- menjaga utang dalam batas rendah atau cukup masuk akal
- sedikit konflik dengan keluarga/rekan tentang uang
- memiliki tingkat kepuasan finansial yang tinggi
- memiliki tingkat stres finansial yang rendah
Betapapun skrip uang yang dimiliki bukan semata kesalahan diri sendiri, diperlukan kekuatan diri sendiri untuk mengubahnya. Baru pada sepertiga terakhir buku ini diuraikan aneka latihan yang dapat dilakukan. Sebagian latihan membutuhkan alat tulis dan kemauan menggambar, sebagian lagi merupakan latihan-latihan yang agaknya umum bagi persoalan kejiwaan apa pun, seperti meditasi, mengisi tes, mendengarkan musik instrumental yang menenangkan, memperbaiki hubungan dengan orang lain, bersyukur, dan seterusnya.
Selain itu, mesti dibuat skrip uang yang baru. Walaupun tidak banyak perubahan antara skrip uang yang lama dan baru, setidaknya itu tidak lagi karena dilandasi pengaruh masa lalu yang buruk, tapi kesadaran sepenuhnya.
Secara keseluruhan, sepertinya pada dasarnya buku ini merupakan buku psikologi (populer?). Solusi-solusi yang diberikannya adalah untuk mengatasi problem kejiwaan, berdamai dengan urusan-urusan yang belum terselesaikan, dan sebagainya. Terlepas dari itu, buku ini punya batasan. Sejak awal, penulis sudah memaklumkan bahwa buku ini tidak akan memberikan nasihat investasi ataupun cara mendapatkan pekerjaan/memiliki penghasilan; sudah banyak buku yang seperti itu.
Siapa yang tidak punya masalah dengan uang? Kebanyakan orang mungkin punya. Buku ini mengatakan bahwa uang merupakan sumber stres nomor satu di Amerika Serikat; jangan-jangan bagi orang Indonesia juga?
Sedari awal pembaca sudah disuguhi berbagai kisah pribadi dalam hubungannya dengan uang--atau, buku ini menggunakan istilah, "skrip uang"--yang mungkin saja relatable. Kisah-kisah tersebut menunjukkan bagaimana pengalaman masa kecil membentuk sikap seseorang terhadap uang. Ada yang beranggapan bahwa uang identik dengan orang jahat, sehingga ketika dewasa ia sulit memperoleh kenaikan bayaran. Ada yang masa kecilnya kerap dihantui oleh kekurangan uang, sehingga kemudian ia menjadi gila kerja tapi tidak bisa menikmati kekayaan yang telah dikumpulkannya. Dan lain sebagainya. Manakah skrip uangmu?
Buku ini bisa jadi memedihkan, karena hendak mengajak pembaca untuk mengorek-ngorek masa lalu, menggali ingatan sehubungan dengan uang, yang kemungkinan menjadi akar penyebab dari masalah finansialnya sekarang.
Meski begitu, penyebabnya tidak mesti berasal dari keluarga sendiri, khususnya orang tua. Penyebabnya bisa dalam skala yang lebih besar, seperti insting kawanan, gelembung ekonomi, krisis moneter, dan sebagainya.
Karena itu, masalah finansial apa pun yang mungkin dialami pembaca, buku ini menekankan bahwa itu bukan akibat dari kesalahannya sendiri. Bagian Satu buku ini menjelaskan bagaimana kebiasaan-kebiasaan finansial tercipta, mulai dari pengalaman traumatis dalam keluarga, perilaku pasar, sampai cara kerja otak.
Bagian mengenai cara kerja otak mengingatkan saya pada buku Male Brain . Kalau di toko buku atau perpustakaan, kedua buku ini mungkin akan sama-sama ditempatkan di rak "Psikologi Populer". Jika Male Brain mengangkat tentang hormon-hormon yang membedakan sifat-sifat lelaki dengan perempuan, buku ini menerangkan tentang bagian-bagian otak yang secara kasar terdiri dari tiga: otak buaya/primitif, otak monyet/limbic, dan otak ilmuwan/rasional.
Keputusan buruk biasanya dibuat ketika otak hewan--alias si buaya dan si monyet--mengambil alih dan mengurung si ilmuwan sehingga tidak bisa ikut bertindak. Otak hewan bisa dibilang merupakan mekanisme bertahan hidup yang telah dipelajari sejak lama dan mungkin berguna sewaktu-waktu, tapi tidak selalu. Adakalanya si ilmuwan atau otak rasional yang mesti dikedepankan, dan untuk itu diperlukan latihan.
Kebetulan, karena saya sedang membaca The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living , saya jadi menyambungkan: jangan-jangan Stoicism merupakan suatu latihan mental agar otak rasional lebih berkembang. Kalau boleh menghubung-hubungkannya lagi dengan ajaran agama, memang keistimewaan manusia di antara makhluk-makluk lainnya adalah akal, yang semestinya diberdayakan melalui membaca, berpikir, dan seterusnya.
Lepas dari penjelasan mengenai berbagai penyebab yang mungkin atas terbentuknya suatu skrip keuangan yang buruk, di Bagian Dua pembaca diajak untuk mengidentifikasi kelainannya. Secara umum, kelainan keuangan dapat dikategorikan sebagai berikut.
I. Kelainan Penghindaran atas Uang
Contohnya:
- Pengingkaran Finansial
- Penolakan Finansial
- Terlalu Hemat
- Terlalu Enggan Mengambil Risiko
II. Kelainan Pemujaan atas Uang
Contohnya:
- Menimbun
- Terlalu Mengambil Risiko yang Tidak Beralasan
- Kecanduan Berjudi
- Workaholism
- Boros
- Kelainan Belanja Kompulsif
III. Kelainan Keuangan dalam Hal Hubungan
- Ketidaksetiaan Finansial
- Inses Finansial
- Pemanfaatan Finansial
- Ketergantungan Finansial
Bagian mengenai kelainan ini juga menarik buat saya. Sebelum buku ini, dalam topik keuangan, buku-buku yang saya baca justru tentang orang-orang yang sengaja hidup tanpa uang sama sekali--dalam jangka waktu yang berbeda-beda. Sepertinya, dengan sendirinya sikap mereka termasuk kategori pertama. Maksud mereka mungkin mulia. Tapi, orang "normal" akan menganggapnya ekstrem. Di samping itu, betapapun inginnya seseorang lepas dari persoalan dengan uang, tidak banyak yang mampu menjalani hidup demikian.
Kalau tidak sanggup hidup tanpa uang sama sekali, paling tidak hal-hal berikut ini dapat dijadikan tujuan sebagai dasar keuangan yang sehat:
- menabung saat ini
- berinvestasi untuk masa depan, dengan berhati-hati terhadap tawaran yang terlihat terlalu menguntungkan; kemungkinannya menipu
- menggunakan uang sewajarnya untuk menikmati hidup dan mencapai tujuan, tapi jangan sampai melebihi penghasilan; memiliki dan mengikuti anggaran pengeluaran yang dibuat dengan penuh kesadaran
- menjaga utang dalam batas rendah atau cukup masuk akal
- sedikit konflik dengan keluarga/rekan tentang uang
- memiliki tingkat kepuasan finansial yang tinggi
- memiliki tingkat stres finansial yang rendah
Betapapun skrip uang yang dimiliki bukan semata kesalahan diri sendiri, diperlukan kekuatan diri sendiri untuk mengubahnya. Baru pada sepertiga terakhir buku ini diuraikan aneka latihan yang dapat dilakukan. Sebagian latihan membutuhkan alat tulis dan kemauan menggambar, sebagian lagi merupakan latihan-latihan yang agaknya umum bagi persoalan kejiwaan apa pun, seperti meditasi, mengisi tes, mendengarkan musik instrumental yang menenangkan, memperbaiki hubungan dengan orang lain, bersyukur, dan seterusnya.
Selain itu, mesti dibuat skrip uang yang baru. Walaupun tidak banyak perubahan antara skrip uang yang lama dan baru, setidaknya itu tidak lagi karena dilandasi pengaruh masa lalu yang buruk, tapi kesadaran sepenuhnya.
Secara keseluruhan, sepertinya pada dasarnya buku ini merupakan buku psikologi (populer?). Solusi-solusi yang diberikannya adalah untuk mengatasi problem kejiwaan, berdamai dengan urusan-urusan yang belum terselesaikan, dan sebagainya. Terlepas dari itu, buku ini punya batasan. Sejak awal, penulis sudah memaklumkan bahwa buku ini tidak akan memberikan nasihat investasi ataupun cara mendapatkan pekerjaan/memiliki penghasilan; sudah banyak buku yang seperti itu.
March 31, 2019
Literally the best book I have read about the connection of family of origin trauma and adult handling of money and finances. It is a difficult read because if you allow it to, you will be forced to draw up traumatic experiences from the past and connect them to present behavior - which may expose some necessary changes. However, without this pain and self reflection, old habits continue to run their course. I definitely recommend this for someone who is self aware enough to know they behave in certain ways because of a desperate desire for self preservation. If you just want some quick advice and a to-do list to reconcile your budget, this isn’t for you.
November 19, 2025
The number one reason I grabbed this at the library was to see what suggestions there are for the money issues that psychiatric issues like ADHD, autism, bipolar, depression etc can cause. Crickets. There is absolutely zero mention of this. I was surprised because the author discusses how socioeconomic class, race and gender all impact how a person thinks about money. Why not mental health issues too?
With that large caveat in mind, the rest of the book was ok. The author leans very heavily on individual anecdotes. I'm talking probably half of a chapter is him quoting people. That's a lot. I was wanting more discussion in general about money issues and less specifics of one person. The author mentions that two people can have the same circumstances happen to them yet the effect can be dramatically different so why all the individual stories?
The book did force me to step back and think about how I think about money. Money is similar to food in the sense that everyone knows what to do. The problem is the disconnect knowing the correct behaviors vs. the actual behaviors you choose. No one needs to be told to eat more veggies or drink more water. No one needs to be told to save and to not spend more than you have. The first step to change is figuring out why you are behaving the way you do. That's not a simple thing to figure out. This book helps you with that first step of figuring out the reason behind your self-sabotage.
These are the 12 money disorders he discusses:
Money Avoidance Disorders:
Financial Denial: Ignoring or minimizing money problems.
Financial Rejection: Feeling undeserving or guilty about having money.
Underspending: Emotionally keeping oneself poor by not using money.
Excessive Risk Aversion: Irrational fear of taking financial risks.
Money Worshipping Disorders:
Hoarding: Excessive saving to the point of negatively impacting life.
Unreasonable Risk Taking: Taking irrational or dangerous financial risks.
Workaholism: Obsession with work and money earning at the expense of well-being.
Overspending: Excessive spending to achieve comfort or emotional needs.
Compulsive Buying: Irresistible urge to buy unnecessary things.
Pathological Gambling: Compulsive gambling behavior disrupting life.
Relational Money Disorders:
Financial Infidelity: Hiding financial information or deceit in relationships.
Financial Enabling: Making others financially irresponsible through support or rescue.
Financial Dependence: Over-relying on others financially.
Financial Incest: Dysfunctional money dynamics in family relationships.
Quotes I want to remember:
The lasting power of financial flashpoints has little to do with the events themselves or how we'd interpret them in hindsight, as adults. Rather, they stem from the naive, childhood interpretations that we construct in our efforts to uncover an underlying logic to the baffling, contradictory, often frightening, adult world. It is from these childhood interpretations of financial flashpoint events that we develop a set of beliefs about money, called money scripts, that shape the way we think about and interact with money as adults.
Because money scripts operate outside of our awareness, lying unexamined in the deep recesses of our unconscious minds, we are at their insidious mercy. To free ourselves, we must first recognize them and their origins, deal with any unfinished business left behind from the circumstances that triggered them, and learn new wavs to think about money
Financial advice is not enough to change destructive financial behaviors.
Take a look at the list of emotional needs on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Money affects our ability to meet these, too, though some more than others.
Anxiety, fear, and shame make us feel off-balance, and the brain seeks out substances or behaviors that seem to repair or rebalance it, at least temporarily. That rebalancing stimulus may be a substance that's consumed(food, nicotine, alcohol) or it could be the neurochemical effect of a wide range of human behaviors. Some of the most common behaviors are shopping, working, hoarding, sex, and cleaning, but virtually anything can become a means of alleviating negative feelings.
Your brain is made up of three interconnected systems that react to the world in very different ways.For you to function optimally, all three systems have to coordinate their responses. And this would have been a perfect segue into how mental health issues like ADHD or autism impact the way you behave with money.
As long as your financial status is compatible with your financial comfort zone, you'll feel as if everything is fine. The problems begin when your income level or standard of living significantly increases or decreases like the classic example of the poor person who blows their lottery winnings because of the disconnect between their comfort zone and their new financial wealth
People who grow up in a low socioeconomic class (or what they perceive as a low class relative to those around them) develop very different scripts than people who grow up wealthy...socioeconomic class can become so tied to our sense of identity that we cling to it, even when our circumstances change. Note WHAT THEY PERCEIVE
Money disorders are persistent, predictable, rigid patterns of self-destructive financial behaviors that cause stress, anxiety, emotional distress, and impairment in major areas of one's life. They know they should change their behaviors, but they can't do it. Or, even if they're able to shift their behavior for a time, they're unable to make the changes stick.Often they feel intense shame about the behaviors and may hide them from others and even from themselves.
Symptoms of money disorders may include any or all of the following.
• Anxiety/worry/despair about one's financial situation
• Lack of savings
• Excessive debt
• Bankruptcy, loan defaults, or both
• Conflict with family, friends, or colleagues around money
• An inability to sustain changes in financial behaviors
The behaviors of people who repel wealth are often similar to the actions of those who have taken vows of poverty.They may create their own self-imposed glass ceilings in their careers, either failing to pursue or actively turning down opportunities for promotions or growth that would take them outside their financial comfort zone. They may stay in low-paying jobs for which they are overqualified. They may unconsciously choose not to use their talents to the fullest because underneath they are afraid of the success and the monetary gains that might follow Oh, dang, ouch, I feel seen.
Money worshipping disorders arise from scripts that equate money with safety, self-worth, and/or happiness. These scripts treat money as magical, special, and transformative. They are rooted in a core belief that regardless of our personal behaviors, liabilities, or limitations, with the wave of a magic wand, a pile of cash will appear and solve all our problems. It's a child's understanding of money, investing it with fantastic power instead of looking at it as a tool that can be used well or poorly.
People are prone to taking excessive risks for many reasons. Many excessive risk takers interpret one big win as evidence of their skill or savvy rather that what it is-luck. As a result, they'll continue to take one risk after another, believing that they are smarter than the market or have what it takes to beat the odds.Many use excessive risk taking to self-medicate and reduce feelings of emptiness, depression, or anxiety; the adrenaline high they get from the experience helps them temporarily feel energized, connected, and whole. They are sensation seekers addicted to the thrill of the chase, excited about the next big scheme. Another point in the book the author could have mentioned the link between psychiatric disorders and money disorders. The mania in bipolar quite often causes extreme spending
They become addicted to that feeling of being successful, which also provides temporary emotional relief from feelings of anxiety, and are convinced they can repeat their successes. And so, no matter how much they lose, they keep on trying. Gambling
workaholism can also be the result of a reaction to the opposite extreme: a parent who didn't work enough. A child who, consciously or not, develops resentment or contempt for a lazy parent may swing to the other extreme of overworking.
Overspenders are trying to achieve feelings of safety, comfort, affection, and wholeness by spending excessively on themselves and others. In our work with overspenders, many report financial flashpoints where giving or receiving a present seemed to transform a relationship.
One sign of an overspender is the emphasis that's placed on the act of spending. Overspenders often use the process of shopping to feel connected to others and themselves. They build rituals around shopping, such as eating lunch at a certain place or visiting stores in a certain order. Some feel like the clerks at their favorite stores are their friends. When favored clients arrive at the store, they're greeted with special attention. Their good taste is reinforced.They hold special "gold" or "platinum" cards or status, and they see that their purchases make the people at the stores happy. They feel special, important, and loved.
Financial enabling involves an irrational need to give money to others, whether you can afford it or not, and even when it is not in the other's long-term best interest; having trouble or finding it impossible to say no to requests for money; and/ or perhaps even sacrificing your own financial well-being for the sake of others. Financial enablers use money in an attempt to feel close to others, and to continue feeling important and useful.
The financial dependent is the dance partner to the financial enabler. Financial dependence saps people's ambition and sense of autonomy and can leave them feeling lost and helpless in the world.
She associated love and feeling special with money (and food and other "goodies"), she couldn't stop herself from showering presents and spending money on people even when she couldn't really afford the expense. She had a hard time believing they'd want her presence without the accompanying gift.
A method of healing involves identifying the beneficial growth and learning that accompanied a traumatic event. Ask yourself what the experience might have taught you. The emotional, intellectual and spiritual benefits of having survived a traumatic experience are just beginning to be acknowledged and studied by the new field of "posttraumatic growth."This is an area of psychology focused on helping people achieve emotional and spiritual growth in the wake of a traumatic experience.
When we engage in a repetitive activity -such as training or meditation -the brain creates new, robust pathways between neurons used in the activity, while other connections grow feebler. This capability shows enormous promise for unlearning problematic behaviors and replacing them with better ones.
Ironically, the most effective treatment for anxiety and fear is controlled exposure to the thing we fear. Avoidance feeds fear and keeps us from growing beyond our self-imposed limitations.The fact is, we'll never transcend our fear if we don't allow ourselves to directly face the feared stimulus.
With that large caveat in mind, the rest of the book was ok. The author leans very heavily on individual anecdotes. I'm talking probably half of a chapter is him quoting people. That's a lot. I was wanting more discussion in general about money issues and less specifics of one person. The author mentions that two people can have the same circumstances happen to them yet the effect can be dramatically different so why all the individual stories?
The book did force me to step back and think about how I think about money. Money is similar to food in the sense that everyone knows what to do. The problem is the disconnect knowing the correct behaviors vs. the actual behaviors you choose. No one needs to be told to eat more veggies or drink more water. No one needs to be told to save and to not spend more than you have. The first step to change is figuring out why you are behaving the way you do. That's not a simple thing to figure out. This book helps you with that first step of figuring out the reason behind your self-sabotage.
These are the 12 money disorders he discusses:
Money Avoidance Disorders:
Financial Denial: Ignoring or minimizing money problems.
Financial Rejection: Feeling undeserving or guilty about having money.
Underspending: Emotionally keeping oneself poor by not using money.
Excessive Risk Aversion: Irrational fear of taking financial risks.
Money Worshipping Disorders:
Hoarding: Excessive saving to the point of negatively impacting life.
Unreasonable Risk Taking: Taking irrational or dangerous financial risks.
Workaholism: Obsession with work and money earning at the expense of well-being.
Overspending: Excessive spending to achieve comfort or emotional needs.
Compulsive Buying: Irresistible urge to buy unnecessary things.
Pathological Gambling: Compulsive gambling behavior disrupting life.
Relational Money Disorders:
Financial Infidelity: Hiding financial information or deceit in relationships.
Financial Enabling: Making others financially irresponsible through support or rescue.
Financial Dependence: Over-relying on others financially.
Financial Incest: Dysfunctional money dynamics in family relationships.
Quotes I want to remember:
The lasting power of financial flashpoints has little to do with the events themselves or how we'd interpret them in hindsight, as adults. Rather, they stem from the naive, childhood interpretations that we construct in our efforts to uncover an underlying logic to the baffling, contradictory, often frightening, adult world. It is from these childhood interpretations of financial flashpoint events that we develop a set of beliefs about money, called money scripts, that shape the way we think about and interact with money as adults.
Because money scripts operate outside of our awareness, lying unexamined in the deep recesses of our unconscious minds, we are at their insidious mercy. To free ourselves, we must first recognize them and their origins, deal with any unfinished business left behind from the circumstances that triggered them, and learn new wavs to think about money
Financial advice is not enough to change destructive financial behaviors.
Take a look at the list of emotional needs on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Money affects our ability to meet these, too, though some more than others.
Anxiety, fear, and shame make us feel off-balance, and the brain seeks out substances or behaviors that seem to repair or rebalance it, at least temporarily. That rebalancing stimulus may be a substance that's consumed(food, nicotine, alcohol) or it could be the neurochemical effect of a wide range of human behaviors. Some of the most common behaviors are shopping, working, hoarding, sex, and cleaning, but virtually anything can become a means of alleviating negative feelings.
Your brain is made up of three interconnected systems that react to the world in very different ways.For you to function optimally, all three systems have to coordinate their responses. And this would have been a perfect segue into how mental health issues like ADHD or autism impact the way you behave with money.
As long as your financial status is compatible with your financial comfort zone, you'll feel as if everything is fine. The problems begin when your income level or standard of living significantly increases or decreases like the classic example of the poor person who blows their lottery winnings because of the disconnect between their comfort zone and their new financial wealth
People who grow up in a low socioeconomic class (or what they perceive as a low class relative to those around them) develop very different scripts than people who grow up wealthy...socioeconomic class can become so tied to our sense of identity that we cling to it, even when our circumstances change. Note WHAT THEY PERCEIVE
Money disorders are persistent, predictable, rigid patterns of self-destructive financial behaviors that cause stress, anxiety, emotional distress, and impairment in major areas of one's life. They know they should change their behaviors, but they can't do it. Or, even if they're able to shift their behavior for a time, they're unable to make the changes stick.Often they feel intense shame about the behaviors and may hide them from others and even from themselves.
Symptoms of money disorders may include any or all of the following.
• Anxiety/worry/despair about one's financial situation
• Lack of savings
• Excessive debt
• Bankruptcy, loan defaults, or both
• Conflict with family, friends, or colleagues around money
• An inability to sustain changes in financial behaviors
The behaviors of people who repel wealth are often similar to the actions of those who have taken vows of poverty.They may create their own self-imposed glass ceilings in their careers, either failing to pursue or actively turning down opportunities for promotions or growth that would take them outside their financial comfort zone. They may stay in low-paying jobs for which they are overqualified. They may unconsciously choose not to use their talents to the fullest because underneath they are afraid of the success and the monetary gains that might follow Oh, dang, ouch, I feel seen.
Money worshipping disorders arise from scripts that equate money with safety, self-worth, and/or happiness. These scripts treat money as magical, special, and transformative. They are rooted in a core belief that regardless of our personal behaviors, liabilities, or limitations, with the wave of a magic wand, a pile of cash will appear and solve all our problems. It's a child's understanding of money, investing it with fantastic power instead of looking at it as a tool that can be used well or poorly.
People are prone to taking excessive risks for many reasons. Many excessive risk takers interpret one big win as evidence of their skill or savvy rather that what it is-luck. As a result, they'll continue to take one risk after another, believing that they are smarter than the market or have what it takes to beat the odds.Many use excessive risk taking to self-medicate and reduce feelings of emptiness, depression, or anxiety; the adrenaline high they get from the experience helps them temporarily feel energized, connected, and whole. They are sensation seekers addicted to the thrill of the chase, excited about the next big scheme. Another point in the book the author could have mentioned the link between psychiatric disorders and money disorders. The mania in bipolar quite often causes extreme spending
They become addicted to that feeling of being successful, which also provides temporary emotional relief from feelings of anxiety, and are convinced they can repeat their successes. And so, no matter how much they lose, they keep on trying. Gambling
workaholism can also be the result of a reaction to the opposite extreme: a parent who didn't work enough. A child who, consciously or not, develops resentment or contempt for a lazy parent may swing to the other extreme of overworking.
Overspenders are trying to achieve feelings of safety, comfort, affection, and wholeness by spending excessively on themselves and others. In our work with overspenders, many report financial flashpoints where giving or receiving a present seemed to transform a relationship.
One sign of an overspender is the emphasis that's placed on the act of spending. Overspenders often use the process of shopping to feel connected to others and themselves. They build rituals around shopping, such as eating lunch at a certain place or visiting stores in a certain order. Some feel like the clerks at their favorite stores are their friends. When favored clients arrive at the store, they're greeted with special attention. Their good taste is reinforced.They hold special "gold" or "platinum" cards or status, and they see that their purchases make the people at the stores happy. They feel special, important, and loved.
Financial enabling involves an irrational need to give money to others, whether you can afford it or not, and even when it is not in the other's long-term best interest; having trouble or finding it impossible to say no to requests for money; and/ or perhaps even sacrificing your own financial well-being for the sake of others. Financial enablers use money in an attempt to feel close to others, and to continue feeling important and useful.
The financial dependent is the dance partner to the financial enabler. Financial dependence saps people's ambition and sense of autonomy and can leave them feeling lost and helpless in the world.
She associated love and feeling special with money (and food and other "goodies"), she couldn't stop herself from showering presents and spending money on people even when she couldn't really afford the expense. She had a hard time believing they'd want her presence without the accompanying gift.
A method of healing involves identifying the beneficial growth and learning that accompanied a traumatic event. Ask yourself what the experience might have taught you. The emotional, intellectual and spiritual benefits of having survived a traumatic experience are just beginning to be acknowledged and studied by the new field of "posttraumatic growth."This is an area of psychology focused on helping people achieve emotional and spiritual growth in the wake of a traumatic experience.
When we engage in a repetitive activity -such as training or meditation -the brain creates new, robust pathways between neurons used in the activity, while other connections grow feebler. This capability shows enormous promise for unlearning problematic behaviors and replacing them with better ones.
Ironically, the most effective treatment for anxiety and fear is controlled exposure to the thing we fear. Avoidance feeds fear and keeps us from growing beyond our self-imposed limitations.The fact is, we'll never transcend our fear if we don't allow ourselves to directly face the feared stimulus.
May 8, 2022
Brad Klontz brings out recent psychology research especially on family trauma and connect the dots. The book is full of anecdotal story you'll be able to certainly relate to one of the many scripts.
Before reading this book, I always assumed our money value is shaped by so-called consumer culture. We get ads here and there, the government wants us insecure so we keep paying tax, etc. That story is easy to blame on by shifting our responsibility.
Instead the book guides us that so much is shaped by our family upbringing experience. And he says we as a grownup can still change that narrative around if we decide to have a hard look at within ourselves.
For example, excessive gifting behavior to your children or wives is often triggered by low self-esteem. One personal example I have on that is tipping. Many people in Canada tip the waiters.
Or as a man, I've observed that many of my male friends are surprisingly fearful to look poor in front of his girlfriends. That's why they cannot persuade the passion they dreamed of and settle with whatever jobs they carry at the moment. That's true even if the woman is working full-time. If that script is already there when you are in 20s with no child, that script'll only get worse as we get old. That insecurity comes from the insecure esteem whose worth is tied with how much money he makes.
Towards the end, Brad's accompanied it with self-guided workshop with a pen and pencil going through our parent's attitude towards money and what was their possible circumstances (ie: war, famine, depression). It was a good occasion to have a hard look at my upbringing. Mine was a mixture of money is something that shouldn't be talked and money fundamentalism.
PS: The book reminded me of a speech event back in university by David Suzuki, a Canadian environmentalist. His money script certainly seemed money hate, of which he spent 1 hour lecturing us about the arbitrary greedy corporations destroying our nature. Maybe he's had a traumatic family financial event possibly WW2 Japanese concentration camp where the money/saving was taken apart (which was mentioned in the book).
Before reading this book, I always assumed our money value is shaped by so-called consumer culture. We get ads here and there, the government wants us insecure so we keep paying tax, etc. That story is easy to blame on by shifting our responsibility.
Instead the book guides us that so much is shaped by our family upbringing experience. And he says we as a grownup can still change that narrative around if we decide to have a hard look at within ourselves.
For example, excessive gifting behavior to your children or wives is often triggered by low self-esteem. One personal example I have on that is tipping. Many people in Canada tip the waiters.
Or as a man, I've observed that many of my male friends are surprisingly fearful to look poor in front of his girlfriends. That's why they cannot persuade the passion they dreamed of and settle with whatever jobs they carry at the moment. That's true even if the woman is working full-time. If that script is already there when you are in 20s with no child, that script'll only get worse as we get old. That insecurity comes from the insecure esteem whose worth is tied with how much money he makes.
Towards the end, Brad's accompanied it with self-guided workshop with a pen and pencil going through our parent's attitude towards money and what was their possible circumstances (ie: war, famine, depression). It was a good occasion to have a hard look at my upbringing. Mine was a mixture of money is something that shouldn't be talked and money fundamentalism.
PS: The book reminded me of a speech event back in university by David Suzuki, a Canadian environmentalist. His money script certainly seemed money hate, of which he spent 1 hour lecturing us about the arbitrary greedy corporations destroying our nature. Maybe he's had a traumatic family financial event possibly WW2 Japanese concentration camp where the money/saving was taken apart (which was mentioned in the book).
October 21, 2018
I’m so glad I read this book by a father and son team who have partnered together to teach beyond the behavior of money and get to the heart issues behind the behaviors.
Discussing money and money issues is one of the last taboo social subjects in conversation behind politics and religion. Parents don’t teach their children how to handle money. Therefore, most of us have made inferences on our own. Stress related to money ranks high among Americans.
A “financial flashpoint” is an early life event associated with money that is so emotionally powerful, it leaves an imprint that lasts into adulthood. From these, we develop “money scripts” or the beliefs we tell ourselves about money. Some people have Money-Avoidance Disorders and some people have Money-Worshipping Disorders. A money disorder is a persistent, predictable, often rigid pattern of self-destructive behaviors that cause significant stress and anxiety in major areas of one’s life.
The authors have a website called www.YourMentalWealth.com. I learned a lot from this book and I recommend it to anyone trying to better understand money and their relationship with it. The exercises in the back of the book are eye-opening. I wish there were more books like this out there.
Discussing money and money issues is one of the last taboo social subjects in conversation behind politics and religion. Parents don’t teach their children how to handle money. Therefore, most of us have made inferences on our own. Stress related to money ranks high among Americans.
A “financial flashpoint” is an early life event associated with money that is so emotionally powerful, it leaves an imprint that lasts into adulthood. From these, we develop “money scripts” or the beliefs we tell ourselves about money. Some people have Money-Avoidance Disorders and some people have Money-Worshipping Disorders. A money disorder is a persistent, predictable, often rigid pattern of self-destructive behaviors that cause significant stress and anxiety in major areas of one’s life.
The authors have a website called www.YourMentalWealth.com. I learned a lot from this book and I recommend it to anyone trying to better understand money and their relationship with it. The exercises in the back of the book are eye-opening. I wish there were more books like this out there.
December 26, 2024
I recently re-read this book. I really enjoy it. It is NOT a how to about money, instead the authors help readers understand their relationship with money and why they make the decisions (often self destructive and defeating) around money. Really the psychology could be applied to any context but the authors have chosen money as their focus. Money is such a crucial aspect of your modern lives yet most of us learn so little about it formally and when we do it is almost always in a robot/rational way. As Dave Ramsey says "It's not a math problem it is a ME problem". The authors do a great job of explaining how our brains work and more importantly how to help rewire them when they (our brains) are not working properly around money do to past experiences and emotions. Worth the read if you are interested in going deeper into why you do what you do.
January 29, 2021
- تتأثر سلوكياتنا المالية بطباعنا النفسية، وعواطفنا، وتاريخنا الشخصي، وتجاربنا السابقة بشكل خاص.. لقد طورنا جميعا مخططاتنا الشخصية عن المال عن طريق التراكم البطيء للدروس التي تعلمناها من الآخرين حولنا.
- لا تنشأ مشاكلنا المالية غالبا لأننا كسالى أو مجانين أو جشعون أو أغبياء.. فلا أحد يريد أن يكون سيئا في إدارة المال. بل عادة ما تنشأ مشاكلنا المالية نتيجة المخططات التي برمجت في عقولنا عن المال، ولا أحد قام بتعليمنا الطريقة الصحيحة لإدارة المال.
- لا تثبط من عزيمتك لأن هذه المعتقدات استغرقت سنوات لتتطور، مما يعني أن إصلاحها سيستغرق بعض الوقت.
- قد يجعلك المزيد من المال أكثر سعادة، ولكن بعد مبلغ معين لا يحدث الدخل الإضافي أي فرق في سعادتك.
- # الكتاب يشرح كيف بدأت معتقداتك حول المال تتشكل عندما كنت صغيرا جدا، وما يمكنك فعله لجعل عقلك صديقك المالي بدلا من جعله عدوا لك.
- لا تنشأ مشاكلنا المالية غالبا لأننا كسالى أو مجانين أو جشعون أو أغبياء.. فلا أحد يريد أن يكون سيئا في إدارة المال. بل عادة ما تنشأ مشاكلنا المالية نتيجة المخططات التي برمجت في عقولنا عن المال، ولا أحد قام بتعليمنا الطريقة الصحيحة لإدارة المال.
- لا تثبط من عزيمتك لأن هذه المعتقدات استغرقت سنوات لتتطور، مما يعني أن إصلاحها سيستغرق بعض الوقت.
- قد يجعلك المزيد من المال أكثر سعادة، ولكن بعد مبلغ معين لا يحدث الدخل الإضافي أي فرق في سعادتك.
- # الكتاب يشرح كيف بدأت معتقداتك حول المال تتشكل عندما كنت صغيرا جدا، وما يمكنك فعله لجعل عقلك صديقك المالي بدلا من جعله عدوا لك.
December 30, 2019
Somehow I always get sucked in to reading personal finance books but this was surprisingly not a personal finance book. It was a psychology book that talks about the many mental reasons why people struggle with money, with pretty common sense (slash not necessarily new info if you have ever read any type of behavioral science) information that can easily be extrapolated to any other of life's many issue areas.
May 31, 2024
This is the first that I’ve come across that examines money disorders and the money scripts that resulted in them. While I feel that the term “disorder” has become inflammatory within recent decades, it nonetheless proves sufficient in this manner. For anyone having financial troubles this book does a thorough job at identifying various money disorders and the related money scripts. Very informative!
April 25, 2021
People are often their own biggest obstacle to meeting their financial goals. We often have misguided emotions and behaviors that keep us from a good relationship with our finances. Brad and Ted Klontz released this book during the Great Recession and its timeless guidance for healing broken money scripts is a great read for consumers and professionals alike.
June 21, 2023
Really great way to look at our financial worldview and where we get it from ... some of the stories were uncanny in their similarity to my experiences and I now feel a lot more optimistic in my ability to solve my financial problems. This is not your standard "spend less save more" self help book.
August 2, 2023
A good primer on why we save and spend the way we do, the origins of money's value, impact, and weight in our lives. It gives both a macro and micro view: macro in the sense that economic boom or turmoil (i.e., the Great Depression) drives how we view its availability or scarcity; micro in that our upbringing will dictate our habits for saving or spending.
August 8, 2019
Good insights
Don't give up too soon on this book.It starts slow and waits too long to get to the point. But toward the end, the authors hit their stride. For me, the book redeems itself and finishes strong.
Don't give up too soon on this book.It starts slow and waits too long to get to the point. But toward the end, the authors hit their stride. For me, the book redeems itself and finishes strong.
December 14, 2020
An incredibly ingesting look at money disorders and how to overcome them in pain English. As a financial counselor I will be using the techniques learned in this book to help my clients foster a more positive relationship with their money.
June 18, 2022
Now I know why I have messed up views on work and money. And why people around me are messed up too. The most valuable part of the book is when he goes over the various money scripts. The last third could be helpful if you’re serious about doing the exercises.
June 18, 2022
inspiring and full of great exercise
Love this book! It’s now one of my bibles when it comes to earning, saving and investing money. This book provides you the framework to understand and work all your money problems and solve them once and for all.
Love this book! It’s now one of my bibles when it comes to earning, saving and investing money. This book provides you the framework to understand and work all your money problems and solve them once and for all.
December 19, 2017
This book was good, and the concept really helpful. It did start to feel repetitive, but overall worth a read.
May 6, 2018
This book was really great to understand how your family history affects how you see money. I recommend to get healthier in the matter of money.
January 11, 2019
Helpful read in reframing financial behavior. Highly recommend.
January 16, 2020
Very revealing
It is easy to find my own memory scripts following the exercises and very useful concepts to implement in the near future
It is easy to find my own memory scripts following the exercises and very useful concepts to implement in the near future
Want to read
September 13, 2020AoM podcast #529
March 12, 2021
Great book. This discusses psychology behind the financial decisions people make. Helps me understand, where my gut feeling is coming from, and challenge my gut feeling by facts, and empirical data.
July 2, 2022
Very interesting psychology of finances.
July 3, 2022
Interesting about the money scripts. Fairly repetitive on solutions, which made it drag on
January 15, 2024
I found it interesting that the examples are not only people from disadvantaged backgrounds but also people with privileged upbringing and that resulting money disorders are covered as well.
February 19, 2024
There were moments I related to but with it being from 2009 it felt outdated. Overall it was insightful.
February 19, 2024
Very good book about psychology of money
April 1, 2024
Good book that explains money paradigms very well and thorough. In my opinion a bit too thorough. Still a book that I recommend when you want to learn more about your financial pitfalls.
October 2, 2025
Fascinating!
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