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Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home
Maria Finn's husband was cheating. First she threw him out. Then she cried. Then she signed up for tango lessons. It turns out that tango has a lot to teach about understanding love and loss, about learning how to follow and how to lead, how to live with style and flair, take risks, and sort out what it is you really want. As Maria's world begins to revolve around the friendships she makes in dance class and the milongas (social dances) she attends regularly in New York City, we discover with her the fascinating culture, history, music, moves, and beauty of the Argentine tango. With each new dance step she learns-the embrace, the walk, the sweep, the exit-she is one step closer to returning to the world of the living. Eventually Maria travels to Buenos Aires, the birthplace of tango, and finds the confidence to try romance again. As exhilarating as the dance itself, the story whirls us into the center of the ballroom dancing craze. And buoyed by the author's humor and passion, it imparts surprising insights about how to get on with life after you've lost in love.
223 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2010
22 people are currently reading
197 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
May 15, 2012
The art of dancing is something that can become all-consuming to a person. Look to professional dancers who take class upon class, perfecting their technique and learning new styles. For non-professionals, dance can also be a source of exercise, stress release, or just a way to let loose and have fun. As someone who took tap dance lessons for 13 years I can relate to how infectious dance can become for a person. I remember as a child taking my first tap lessons, and becoming obsessed with old black-and-white musicals with my aunt and grandma just so that I could watch the elaborate tap numbers. Dancing is one of my fondest memories from childhood and conversely it helped me get through some harder periods of life. Knowing I could lose myself in class with my friends each week and just tap out my feelings on the floor was helpful with the stresses of a teen life. When I heard about Maria Finn's Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home, I knew I had to read it and learn how dance had not only affected her, but changed her life.
In her memoir, Finn, a journalist and regular contributor to New York Magazine, finds herself free-floating and lost upon finding out that her husband (and salsa lesson partner) has cheated on her. To try to cope with this and find some sense of reality again, she signs up for tango lessons in New York City. As she slowly rebuilds her life, she learns the sweeping and seductive moves of the Argentine Tango as well as the history behind this passion filled dance. Finn rejuvenates her life by creating a new circle of friends that she meets while taking lessons. She realizes that she has been built back up to a new level of happiness and inner peace, and culminates her lessons with a trip to Buenos Aires, the birthplace of the Tango. What she finds is that she's been reborn herself.
Finn's journey of self-discovery through the use of tango is absolutely inspiring. Her memoir proves that dance can and does have major impacts on a persons self-esteem and self-worth. Upon finishing this novel I looked at Todd and said, "I really need to start taking tango lessons." Finn's memoir is written with a personality that is 100% infectious. The way she chooses to look at her life makes the reader want to step back and re-evaluate the things that are important in his/her own life. The ending is truly a culmination of the dance of tango, as well as Finn's rebirth.
An added surprise in the memoir was learning about the extensive history and technique of the tango. It's obvious that Finn did her research and enjoyed doing it. The portions of the work that deal with the background of the dance were clear, concise, and well researched.
The book is a great poetic ode to dance and to the tango. I'd be highly interested in reading a follow-up to see where Finn is now in life and with her tango! (I'm also really curious to find out where all her tango friends are and what they're all doing!)
Kimberly (Reflections of a Book Addict)
http://wp.me/p18lIL-10I
In her memoir, Finn, a journalist and regular contributor to New York Magazine, finds herself free-floating and lost upon finding out that her husband (and salsa lesson partner) has cheated on her. To try to cope with this and find some sense of reality again, she signs up for tango lessons in New York City. As she slowly rebuilds her life, she learns the sweeping and seductive moves of the Argentine Tango as well as the history behind this passion filled dance. Finn rejuvenates her life by creating a new circle of friends that she meets while taking lessons. She realizes that she has been built back up to a new level of happiness and inner peace, and culminates her lessons with a trip to Buenos Aires, the birthplace of the Tango. What she finds is that she's been reborn herself.
Finn's journey of self-discovery through the use of tango is absolutely inspiring. Her memoir proves that dance can and does have major impacts on a persons self-esteem and self-worth. Upon finishing this novel I looked at Todd and said, "I really need to start taking tango lessons." Finn's memoir is written with a personality that is 100% infectious. The way she chooses to look at her life makes the reader want to step back and re-evaluate the things that are important in his/her own life. The ending is truly a culmination of the dance of tango, as well as Finn's rebirth.
An added surprise in the memoir was learning about the extensive history and technique of the tango. It's obvious that Finn did her research and enjoyed doing it. The portions of the work that deal with the background of the dance were clear, concise, and well researched.
The book is a great poetic ode to dance and to the tango. I'd be highly interested in reading a follow-up to see where Finn is now in life and with her tango! (I'm also really curious to find out where all her tango friends are and what they're all doing!)
Kimberly (Reflections of a Book Addict)
http://wp.me/p18lIL-10I
April 3, 2010
This was a Goodreads win for me, and it took me a few chapters to realize that it was a memoir, which made the book even more impressive.
This is a nice, easy read - quick to get through, easy to fall into. I think Finn has an excellent way of expressing herself. The prose is creative and exciting without being sappy and she exercises wit as well as an extensive, enticing knowledge of the tango.
My favorite thing about this book is its optimism. It is so easy for a post-divorce book to be melodramatic and cynical, but Finn never succumbs to that temptation. Maintaining a hopeful outlook for "life after love," Finn illuminates a path through heartache. Without giving real closure, the way books and movies so often do in order to gratify an audience, Finn merely leaves the door open for possibilities.
It is an accomplishment that, just like the tango Finn describes, which often partners mournful lyrics with pleasant music, Finn is able to match a painful journey with an uplifting feeling. Brava.
This is a nice, easy read - quick to get through, easy to fall into. I think Finn has an excellent way of expressing herself. The prose is creative and exciting without being sappy and she exercises wit as well as an extensive, enticing knowledge of the tango.
My favorite thing about this book is its optimism. It is so easy for a post-divorce book to be melodramatic and cynical, but Finn never succumbs to that temptation. Maintaining a hopeful outlook for "life after love," Finn illuminates a path through heartache. Without giving real closure, the way books and movies so often do in order to gratify an audience, Finn merely leaves the door open for possibilities.
It is an accomplishment that, just like the tango Finn describes, which often partners mournful lyrics with pleasant music, Finn is able to match a painful journey with an uplifting feeling. Brava.
November 25, 2011
Every person's tango journey is so very personal. It is always very interesting and tells one a lot about your own tango journey.
May 4, 2012
I asked why he'd started dancing.
"My seven-year-old daughter wanted to know why her mother and I divorced. I didn't know. And I couldn't explain how you can love someone so much, then split so far apart. So I began to tango to learn how to be with a woman without expecting anything. How to find balance with another person." (p. 2)
....I didn't have time to be scared. My mind cleared and my body just responded. It was exhilarating.
It's said that randomness creates addiction; that if something is reliable, you don't feel as attached to it. That's why gambling is addictive. And why dancing is, too. The social nature of having multiple partners means that sometimes the dance feels stiff and awkward, but the ones that are good feel so good they fuse into your memory, and the possibility of repeating the experience keeps you coming back for more. (p. 28-29)
I met my Cuban husband through salsa dancing. He was a perfect lead . Gentle yet in control. He had an excellent sense of rhythm; he kept the beat and wasn't boring. He transitioned from stepping to turn patterns in response to the music. He maintained a polite distance, and at first it was just about the dancing. Then it became a conversation: humorous, amorous, bold, then timid, expressed with our hips, shoulders, and feet. (p. 52-53)
Close embrace dancing is also know as salon style. The steps are small and subtle, and couples stay joined together as much as possible. It's said that this form evolved from crowded milongas in Buenos Aires. If you took big steps or made wide turns on your ochos, you could bang ankles or slam into one another. So couples clutched each other and moved in tight circles around the dance floor. (p. 71)
The craze sweeping Europe hit the United States in 1913. Tango was so popular in New York that theater owners found their ticket sales lagging. Managers started incorporating tango into the shows and hosting dances during intermissions. People preferred tango to dining, and in order for cafes and restaurants to make money, they invented the "cocktail," selling drinks during the dances and stretching out predinner activities. (p. 71-72)
.... Tango was popular with older, wealthy women whose husbands worked late or traveled out of town, so New York establishments started hiring accomplished male dancers to entertain them. These young men were designated "gigolos," the most famous being a tall, dark, and handsome immigrant from Italy, Rudolph Valentino, who originally wanted to be a gardener. Valentino was having a hard time finding work in New York City, so he started dancing professionally. He worked his way from New York to Hollywood as a tango escort an teacher (still hoping to be a landscaper), and then started working as an extra in silent films. He was cast as an Argentinean who danced tango in the movie "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" (1921), which not only made him a star but helped fan the tango craze internationally. This created the fantasy -- or stereotype -- of the Latin Lover. (p. 73-74)
[about dancing tango after she & her husband separated then divorced] .... I found a haven here. I didn't have to tell anybody what happened or answer painful questions or listen to commentary. And dancing boosts your spirits. Any exercise that gets your blood pumping lifts your mood. As the heart rate increases, the brain starts to stimulate the neurotransmitters dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, all of which work to shake depression. These feel-bad battlers also encourage your body to create endorphins, which make pain go away and replace it with euphoria. If you do a computer search on these chemical reactions, what frequently pops up is cocaine and heroin addiction. The highs people experience from narcotics come from the release of neurotransmitters. With dancing you add music, socializing, and touching. Human touch, our first language, breaks through our isolation and relaxes us -- our pulse slows and muscle tension softens. When civilians, or nondancers, can't quite understand why some people want to dance every night, my explanation is that dance is highly addictive, and tango especially so. Physiologically, dancing tango is kind of like mainlining heroin. Only, you don't rob family members or nod out in public. (p. 81-82)
To enjoy a social dance and make the evening worthwhile, you need only three good dance partners.... With Peter, Allen, and Marcel I felt like I could learn; I could make mistakes and be forgiven. I wasn't so sure that was the case with many other people -- if they had a bad experience with me, they would never, ever ask me to dance again. And I hated to think that while I was enjoying myself, my partner was miserable. (p. 83)
[dealing with betrayal, divorce, death, etc.] .... we both knew that, at first, there's really nothing that takes away the pain. It's just a matter of staying alive until you find your way out of the darkness. Until then you dead reckon your way around daily life. People who've been betrayed -- left by a spouse, abandoned by a parent -- were my preferred company. (p. 88)
The Arthur Murray dance studios were the first franchise in the United States. At the request of a hotel chain, he sent instructors out to teach dance lessons. When the hotel no longer needed them, the dancers didn't return to New York City but stayed put in each town, and Murray helped them start dance studios. He then managed the advertising nationally in exchange for a percentage of the gross profits. By the time he retired in 1964, he had 350 franchised studios that grossed $25 million a year.
Murray realized that he was cashing in on loneliness. In a 1934 profile of the dance entrepreneur in *The New Yorker,* Milton Mackaye wrote, "Murray didn't choose instructors for their beauty, but for background and personality. There is a sound reason for this. The average man who learns to dance is afraid of beauties; what he seeks is sympathy and understanding, and not a biological bonfire."
Arthur Murray married one of his students, Kathryn, and she became his dance partner as well. Their weekly television show began with the catch phrase, "Put a little fun in your life, try dancing." (p. 94)
Piazzolla was one of Argentina's greatest composers. Though many of his compositions are not danceable, his influence on contemporary tango is immense and also ties new York to the evolution of this music and dance. Piazzolla's family moved from the Mar de la Plata in Argentina to New York City in 1925, when he was four years old. He spent a good portion of his childhood learning classical music from his next-door neighbor, Hungarian pianist Bela Wilad, who had studied with the great Sergei Rachmaninoff. It was also the time of the Harlem Renaissance, and the jazz played then would later influence Piazzolla. He met Carlos Gardel, the leading singer of tango, when Gardel was at the height of his fame. Gardel took a liking to him and let Piazzolla accompany him on shopping trips around New York. Piazzolla translated for the great singer and occasionally played the bandoneon for Gardel, who let him act the part of a newspaper boy in his film "El Dia que Me Quieras" (The Day You Love Me). (p. 100-101)
It was actually Astor Piazzolla's experimentation with jazz and classical music that triggered the contemporary nuevo tango movement. Nuevo groups fused Argentine tango with popular electronica, giving some classical songs faster, sexier rhythms that could be played either in nightclubs or tango salons. DJ's started mixing in songs by Middle Eastern performers, Delta blues, opera, and Gypsy ballads from Eastern Europe. During its heyday the tango had international influence. Now songs from around the world influenced the tango. (p. 131)
Dances, the two-step, hustle, salsa, swing, all have their own rules, which are understood by those who know the "language." To communicate, you learn the steps, build them into patterns, and commit them to memory. You must be part of the group to participate. The natural world requires this as well.
Each honeybee hive has its own dance, its own language, so bees can communicate to one another where the flowers with the most nectar are found. They dance the direction and the distance to the flowers on the honeycomb, making a map. German bees dance a different language from Italian and Egyptian bees. Each hive has its own dialect and creates its own scent. If a bee does not carry this scent or does not know the language of a hive it tries to enter, the guard bees kill it. (p. 109-110)
.... He was originally from Turkey, where tango has been wildly popular since the early 1900's. (p. 117)
.... I later learned that Turkey's first encounter with Western music was through the tango. The music, so fashionable in European capitals, was being played in nightclubs throughout Istanbul by the late 1920's, which showed the Turk's openness to Western culture
The leader of the Turkish National Liberation movement, Mustafa Kamal Ataturk, ended the Ottoman dynasty and created the Republic of Turkey in 1923. Ataturk established a secular government and tried to steer the Turkish people toward influences from the West and Europe rather than from Muslim countries. (p. 136-137)
The crowd was the usual mix of couples, along with ... a small gang of Argentinean women. These tango mavens had zero body fat, jet-black hair, and fabulous outfits. They danced with equally skilled men whose feet slid preternaturally over the floor as if caressing it. (p. 120
Worldwide, tango was on the verge of becoming a dusty old relic, when the stage show "Tango Argentina" premiered in Paris in 1983, the year Argentina's military dictatorship fell. Once again the Parisians fell in love with the tango, and a revival was quickly under way as the show toured Europe to sold-out audiences. Another show, "Forever Tango," opened in San Francisco in 1996, then hit Broadway to great enthusiasm. (p. 133)
"The boleo is an act of regret," Augusto told the class. "The leader is sending the follower away, but then in an instant he changes his mind and pulls her back to him. That moment is the boleo." (p. 144)
At some milongas in Buenos Aires, men do not approach women to ask them to dance, rather, they sit across the room from them and make eye contact. If the woman does not avert her eyes, the man nods slightly, almost imperceptibly. If the woman nods back, then he approaches her table, or both stand and meet on the dance floor. The head motion, the subtle agreement, is know as a *cabeceo,* from the Spanish word for "head," *cabeza.* The verb *cabecer* means to move one's head, as if to nod; its noun form, *cabeceo,* is a tango invitation. The men are known as *cabecereos.* The cabeceo saves men from being rejected publicly, and allows women to refuse gracefully. (p. 145)
Toward the end of the lesson he ceased his instruction and just danced with me.
"Close your eyes," he said.
He felt sublime. The confidence that he transferred to me made me feel safe and cared-for and valued. By just simply walking and turning, stopping and starting, he led me to places I hadn't been before. There's an expression in tango, "La lleva como dormida," which means "He leads her as asleep." This is when the follower trusts her leader so completely that she relaxes fully, closes her eyes, and reaches a slightly somnambulant dreamlike state. (p. 154-155)
Along with La Boca, San Telmo was one of two southern areas of the city that claimed to be the birthplace of tango. Home to Buenos Aires's aristocrats during the time known as *epoca de las rosas,* San Telmo flourished for ten years, until yellow fever swept through it in the late 1800's. The wealthy, afraid of disease, left the southern part of the city. This flight left a lot of empty mansions, which were divided into small flats for newly arriving immigrants.
"There were so many more men than women arriving here that they had to dance together," Arturo said. "Most of the women who danced tango back then were prostitutes." He explained that although the white slave trade started around 1890, the biggest trafficker, the Zwi Migdal Society, was founded in 1906. Members of this organization of Jewish gangsters would travel through Eastern Europe in search of girls. When they found young women in shtetels, many of them living in poverty and in fear of anti-Semitic pogroms, the girls readily accepted their proposals of marriage and the opportunity for a better life in Argentina. The young women packed their bags, expecting domestic happiness in Buenos Aires. Instead, they found themselves being forced to work the brothels. These Yiddish-speaking prostitutes were known as Polacas. (p. 164-165)
The dynamics of the lead-and-follow relationship changed during tango's revival in the 19080s. This is often credited to a couple, Juan Carlos Copes and Maria Nieves Rego. Dance partners from Buenos Aires, They married, then divorced but kept dancing together. Copes and Nieves produced the show "Tango Argentino," which opened in Paris in 1983, when the social dance had faded to all but an ember. night after night the seats sold out and crowds filled the aisles. Other European cities -- Venice, Milan, Rome -- wanted the show.
In 1985 they came to New York City, and "Tango Argentino" opened on Broadway to rave reviews and an extended run. New Yorkers weren't used to seeing middle-aged dancers. The play showed that sensuality, pathos, and the exhilaration of tango weren't rooted in youth but in experience. This tango was different from Old World style, with faster, fancier footwork as well as more attitude and more input by the follower. It has been said that Maria Nieves Rego reinvented the woman's role by subverting the idea that following implies submissiveness. Rather, the woman's personality and will created the dynamic and spark between partners. (p. 188)
An instructor, Carlos D., originally from Buenos Aires, asked me to dance . I was intimidated. I thought I might freeze up out of nervousness.... After we stopped dancing, Carlos stepped back and told me, "you can dance tango because you don't fear the embrace. Anything else, steps and techniques, can be learned. But not the embrace. You have that." (p. 200-201)
Argentinean writer Jorge Luis Borges lamented the changes in tango, once full of bravado with lyrics about sexual prowess and knife fights, to the music of heartbreak, or as he put it, when it passed from a display of "braggadocio to sadness." He liked the inherent dueling in the music and dance and believed that milonga music and dance let dancers live the fantasy of bravery and valor. Borges wrote, "I would say that the tango and the other Argentine dance, the milonga, express something directly that poets have often tried to say with words -- their sense that a fight can be a celebration." (p. 217)
GLOSSARY
ABRAZO: from abrazar, to hug. The tango embrace.
BANDONEON: An accordion-like musical instrument used by tango musicians that originated in Europe.
BOLEO: from bolear, to throw. With the knees together, one leg swings with a whipping motion.
CABECE: from cabeza, the head. A wordless invitation to dance at a milonga: Eye contact is made; a slight nod of the head follows. If the follower accepts, she nods back, if not, she turns away.
CADENA: chain. When steps are done in a repeated sequence; the couple usually moves rapidly around the floor.
CAMINITA: from caminar, to walk. The tango walk is both forward and backward, with both partners balancing their weight with one another.
CANDOMBE: Afro-Uruguayan music and dance; some historians believe it was an influence on or early precursor of the tango.
CASTIGADA: from castigar, to punish. When the follower slides her foot down the leader's pant leg, giving him a flirtatious caress.
CORTINA: curtain. Non-tango music played between tandas at a milonga.
ENTREGARME: to surrender oneself. The follower gives herself up to the leader.
GANCHO: hook; sometimes used as a verb. When a dancer momentarily hooks a leg sharply around or through the partner's legs.
LAPIZ: pencil; used as a verb. Making circular motions on the floor with one foot while at a standstill [or not, in Tango Elegante style].
LUNFARDO: A type of slang in Buenos Aires that has heavy Italian influence. It was once the language of the underworld, and some claim it was used so police officers wouldn't understand what was being said. Many terms are still found in tango lyrics.
MILONGA: A social dance, a precursor to the tango, where people gather to tango or dance to a type of lively music written in 2/4 time.
MILOGUERO/MILOGUERA: A person who frequents milongas and for whom tango is a way of life.
MOLINETE: windmill; wheel. A step in which the dancer walks in a grapevine pattern around the other, who usually pivots center.
OCHO: eight. Figure eights: a crossing and pivoting figure from which the fan in American tango is derived. El ocho is considered to be one of the oldest steps in tango and refers to a time when women wore floor-length skirts and danced on dirt floors. The quality of women's dancing was judged by the figure eight their skirts left behind in the dirt.
PLANCHADORAS: from plancha, flatiron. A woman who sits all night the milongas without being asked to dance because she doesn't know how to dance well enough.
PORTENO/PORTENA: an inhabitant of the port city of Buenos Aires.
RESOLUCION: resolution. The end to the basic pattern.
SACADA: from sacar, to take out. The most common term for a displacement of a leg or foot by the partner's leg or foot.
SALIDA: from salir, to exit. The first steps of the basic tango pattern, or an opening, as well as exit or way out.
TANDA: group, batch. A set (traditionally three to five songs or pieces) of dance music. Usually couples dance together for a tanda. If they aren't dancing well together or one partner isn't enjoying the dance, that person says thank you and leaves before the tanda ends. Tandas are separated by a cortina, or short interlude of music.
TANGUERO/TANGUERA: a tango aficionado who may or may not be a dancer. The term can refer to anyone who is passionate about any part of the tango, such as the music, history, Lunfardo, etc.
VALS: Argentine waltz.
VOLCADA: from volcar, to tip over. The leader causes the follower to tilt or lean forward and fall off her axis before he catches her again. Her free leg sweeps the floor.
"My seven-year-old daughter wanted to know why her mother and I divorced. I didn't know. And I couldn't explain how you can love someone so much, then split so far apart. So I began to tango to learn how to be with a woman without expecting anything. How to find balance with another person." (p. 2)
....I didn't have time to be scared. My mind cleared and my body just responded. It was exhilarating.
It's said that randomness creates addiction; that if something is reliable, you don't feel as attached to it. That's why gambling is addictive. And why dancing is, too. The social nature of having multiple partners means that sometimes the dance feels stiff and awkward, but the ones that are good feel so good they fuse into your memory, and the possibility of repeating the experience keeps you coming back for more. (p. 28-29)
I met my Cuban husband through salsa dancing. He was a perfect lead . Gentle yet in control. He had an excellent sense of rhythm; he kept the beat and wasn't boring. He transitioned from stepping to turn patterns in response to the music. He maintained a polite distance, and at first it was just about the dancing. Then it became a conversation: humorous, amorous, bold, then timid, expressed with our hips, shoulders, and feet. (p. 52-53)
Close embrace dancing is also know as salon style. The steps are small and subtle, and couples stay joined together as much as possible. It's said that this form evolved from crowded milongas in Buenos Aires. If you took big steps or made wide turns on your ochos, you could bang ankles or slam into one another. So couples clutched each other and moved in tight circles around the dance floor. (p. 71)
The craze sweeping Europe hit the United States in 1913. Tango was so popular in New York that theater owners found their ticket sales lagging. Managers started incorporating tango into the shows and hosting dances during intermissions. People preferred tango to dining, and in order for cafes and restaurants to make money, they invented the "cocktail," selling drinks during the dances and stretching out predinner activities. (p. 71-72)
.... Tango was popular with older, wealthy women whose husbands worked late or traveled out of town, so New York establishments started hiring accomplished male dancers to entertain them. These young men were designated "gigolos," the most famous being a tall, dark, and handsome immigrant from Italy, Rudolph Valentino, who originally wanted to be a gardener. Valentino was having a hard time finding work in New York City, so he started dancing professionally. He worked his way from New York to Hollywood as a tango escort an teacher (still hoping to be a landscaper), and then started working as an extra in silent films. He was cast as an Argentinean who danced tango in the movie "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" (1921), which not only made him a star but helped fan the tango craze internationally. This created the fantasy -- or stereotype -- of the Latin Lover. (p. 73-74)
[about dancing tango after she & her husband separated then divorced] .... I found a haven here. I didn't have to tell anybody what happened or answer painful questions or listen to commentary. And dancing boosts your spirits. Any exercise that gets your blood pumping lifts your mood. As the heart rate increases, the brain starts to stimulate the neurotransmitters dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, all of which work to shake depression. These feel-bad battlers also encourage your body to create endorphins, which make pain go away and replace it with euphoria. If you do a computer search on these chemical reactions, what frequently pops up is cocaine and heroin addiction. The highs people experience from narcotics come from the release of neurotransmitters. With dancing you add music, socializing, and touching. Human touch, our first language, breaks through our isolation and relaxes us -- our pulse slows and muscle tension softens. When civilians, or nondancers, can't quite understand why some people want to dance every night, my explanation is that dance is highly addictive, and tango especially so. Physiologically, dancing tango is kind of like mainlining heroin. Only, you don't rob family members or nod out in public. (p. 81-82)
To enjoy a social dance and make the evening worthwhile, you need only three good dance partners.... With Peter, Allen, and Marcel I felt like I could learn; I could make mistakes and be forgiven. I wasn't so sure that was the case with many other people -- if they had a bad experience with me, they would never, ever ask me to dance again. And I hated to think that while I was enjoying myself, my partner was miserable. (p. 83)
[dealing with betrayal, divorce, death, etc.] .... we both knew that, at first, there's really nothing that takes away the pain. It's just a matter of staying alive until you find your way out of the darkness. Until then you dead reckon your way around daily life. People who've been betrayed -- left by a spouse, abandoned by a parent -- were my preferred company. (p. 88)
The Arthur Murray dance studios were the first franchise in the United States. At the request of a hotel chain, he sent instructors out to teach dance lessons. When the hotel no longer needed them, the dancers didn't return to New York City but stayed put in each town, and Murray helped them start dance studios. He then managed the advertising nationally in exchange for a percentage of the gross profits. By the time he retired in 1964, he had 350 franchised studios that grossed $25 million a year.
Murray realized that he was cashing in on loneliness. In a 1934 profile of the dance entrepreneur in *The New Yorker,* Milton Mackaye wrote, "Murray didn't choose instructors for their beauty, but for background and personality. There is a sound reason for this. The average man who learns to dance is afraid of beauties; what he seeks is sympathy and understanding, and not a biological bonfire."
Arthur Murray married one of his students, Kathryn, and she became his dance partner as well. Their weekly television show began with the catch phrase, "Put a little fun in your life, try dancing." (p. 94)
Piazzolla was one of Argentina's greatest composers. Though many of his compositions are not danceable, his influence on contemporary tango is immense and also ties new York to the evolution of this music and dance. Piazzolla's family moved from the Mar de la Plata in Argentina to New York City in 1925, when he was four years old. He spent a good portion of his childhood learning classical music from his next-door neighbor, Hungarian pianist Bela Wilad, who had studied with the great Sergei Rachmaninoff. It was also the time of the Harlem Renaissance, and the jazz played then would later influence Piazzolla. He met Carlos Gardel, the leading singer of tango, when Gardel was at the height of his fame. Gardel took a liking to him and let Piazzolla accompany him on shopping trips around New York. Piazzolla translated for the great singer and occasionally played the bandoneon for Gardel, who let him act the part of a newspaper boy in his film "El Dia que Me Quieras" (The Day You Love Me). (p. 100-101)
It was actually Astor Piazzolla's experimentation with jazz and classical music that triggered the contemporary nuevo tango movement. Nuevo groups fused Argentine tango with popular electronica, giving some classical songs faster, sexier rhythms that could be played either in nightclubs or tango salons. DJ's started mixing in songs by Middle Eastern performers, Delta blues, opera, and Gypsy ballads from Eastern Europe. During its heyday the tango had international influence. Now songs from around the world influenced the tango. (p. 131)
Dances, the two-step, hustle, salsa, swing, all have their own rules, which are understood by those who know the "language." To communicate, you learn the steps, build them into patterns, and commit them to memory. You must be part of the group to participate. The natural world requires this as well.
Each honeybee hive has its own dance, its own language, so bees can communicate to one another where the flowers with the most nectar are found. They dance the direction and the distance to the flowers on the honeycomb, making a map. German bees dance a different language from Italian and Egyptian bees. Each hive has its own dialect and creates its own scent. If a bee does not carry this scent or does not know the language of a hive it tries to enter, the guard bees kill it. (p. 109-110)
.... He was originally from Turkey, where tango has been wildly popular since the early 1900's. (p. 117)
.... I later learned that Turkey's first encounter with Western music was through the tango. The music, so fashionable in European capitals, was being played in nightclubs throughout Istanbul by the late 1920's, which showed the Turk's openness to Western culture
The leader of the Turkish National Liberation movement, Mustafa Kamal Ataturk, ended the Ottoman dynasty and created the Republic of Turkey in 1923. Ataturk established a secular government and tried to steer the Turkish people toward influences from the West and Europe rather than from Muslim countries. (p. 136-137)
The crowd was the usual mix of couples, along with ... a small gang of Argentinean women. These tango mavens had zero body fat, jet-black hair, and fabulous outfits. They danced with equally skilled men whose feet slid preternaturally over the floor as if caressing it. (p. 120
Worldwide, tango was on the verge of becoming a dusty old relic, when the stage show "Tango Argentina" premiered in Paris in 1983, the year Argentina's military dictatorship fell. Once again the Parisians fell in love with the tango, and a revival was quickly under way as the show toured Europe to sold-out audiences. Another show, "Forever Tango," opened in San Francisco in 1996, then hit Broadway to great enthusiasm. (p. 133)
"The boleo is an act of regret," Augusto told the class. "The leader is sending the follower away, but then in an instant he changes his mind and pulls her back to him. That moment is the boleo." (p. 144)
At some milongas in Buenos Aires, men do not approach women to ask them to dance, rather, they sit across the room from them and make eye contact. If the woman does not avert her eyes, the man nods slightly, almost imperceptibly. If the woman nods back, then he approaches her table, or both stand and meet on the dance floor. The head motion, the subtle agreement, is know as a *cabeceo,* from the Spanish word for "head," *cabeza.* The verb *cabecer* means to move one's head, as if to nod; its noun form, *cabeceo,* is a tango invitation. The men are known as *cabecereos.* The cabeceo saves men from being rejected publicly, and allows women to refuse gracefully. (p. 145)
Toward the end of the lesson he ceased his instruction and just danced with me.
"Close your eyes," he said.
He felt sublime. The confidence that he transferred to me made me feel safe and cared-for and valued. By just simply walking and turning, stopping and starting, he led me to places I hadn't been before. There's an expression in tango, "La lleva como dormida," which means "He leads her as asleep." This is when the follower trusts her leader so completely that she relaxes fully, closes her eyes, and reaches a slightly somnambulant dreamlike state. (p. 154-155)
Along with La Boca, San Telmo was one of two southern areas of the city that claimed to be the birthplace of tango. Home to Buenos Aires's aristocrats during the time known as *epoca de las rosas,* San Telmo flourished for ten years, until yellow fever swept through it in the late 1800's. The wealthy, afraid of disease, left the southern part of the city. This flight left a lot of empty mansions, which were divided into small flats for newly arriving immigrants.
"There were so many more men than women arriving here that they had to dance together," Arturo said. "Most of the women who danced tango back then were prostitutes." He explained that although the white slave trade started around 1890, the biggest trafficker, the Zwi Migdal Society, was founded in 1906. Members of this organization of Jewish gangsters would travel through Eastern Europe in search of girls. When they found young women in shtetels, many of them living in poverty and in fear of anti-Semitic pogroms, the girls readily accepted their proposals of marriage and the opportunity for a better life in Argentina. The young women packed their bags, expecting domestic happiness in Buenos Aires. Instead, they found themselves being forced to work the brothels. These Yiddish-speaking prostitutes were known as Polacas. (p. 164-165)
The dynamics of the lead-and-follow relationship changed during tango's revival in the 19080s. This is often credited to a couple, Juan Carlos Copes and Maria Nieves Rego. Dance partners from Buenos Aires, They married, then divorced but kept dancing together. Copes and Nieves produced the show "Tango Argentino," which opened in Paris in 1983, when the social dance had faded to all but an ember. night after night the seats sold out and crowds filled the aisles. Other European cities -- Venice, Milan, Rome -- wanted the show.
In 1985 they came to New York City, and "Tango Argentino" opened on Broadway to rave reviews and an extended run. New Yorkers weren't used to seeing middle-aged dancers. The play showed that sensuality, pathos, and the exhilaration of tango weren't rooted in youth but in experience. This tango was different from Old World style, with faster, fancier footwork as well as more attitude and more input by the follower. It has been said that Maria Nieves Rego reinvented the woman's role by subverting the idea that following implies submissiveness. Rather, the woman's personality and will created the dynamic and spark between partners. (p. 188)
An instructor, Carlos D., originally from Buenos Aires, asked me to dance . I was intimidated. I thought I might freeze up out of nervousness.... After we stopped dancing, Carlos stepped back and told me, "you can dance tango because you don't fear the embrace. Anything else, steps and techniques, can be learned. But not the embrace. You have that." (p. 200-201)
Argentinean writer Jorge Luis Borges lamented the changes in tango, once full of bravado with lyrics about sexual prowess and knife fights, to the music of heartbreak, or as he put it, when it passed from a display of "braggadocio to sadness." He liked the inherent dueling in the music and dance and believed that milonga music and dance let dancers live the fantasy of bravery and valor. Borges wrote, "I would say that the tango and the other Argentine dance, the milonga, express something directly that poets have often tried to say with words -- their sense that a fight can be a celebration." (p. 217)
GLOSSARY
ABRAZO: from abrazar, to hug. The tango embrace.
BANDONEON: An accordion-like musical instrument used by tango musicians that originated in Europe.
BOLEO: from bolear, to throw. With the knees together, one leg swings with a whipping motion.
CABECE: from cabeza, the head. A wordless invitation to dance at a milonga: Eye contact is made; a slight nod of the head follows. If the follower accepts, she nods back, if not, she turns away.
CADENA: chain. When steps are done in a repeated sequence; the couple usually moves rapidly around the floor.
CAMINITA: from caminar, to walk. The tango walk is both forward and backward, with both partners balancing their weight with one another.
CANDOMBE: Afro-Uruguayan music and dance; some historians believe it was an influence on or early precursor of the tango.
CASTIGADA: from castigar, to punish. When the follower slides her foot down the leader's pant leg, giving him a flirtatious caress.
CORTINA: curtain. Non-tango music played between tandas at a milonga.
ENTREGARME: to surrender oneself. The follower gives herself up to the leader.
GANCHO: hook; sometimes used as a verb. When a dancer momentarily hooks a leg sharply around or through the partner's legs.
LAPIZ: pencil; used as a verb. Making circular motions on the floor with one foot while at a standstill [or not, in Tango Elegante style].
LUNFARDO: A type of slang in Buenos Aires that has heavy Italian influence. It was once the language of the underworld, and some claim it was used so police officers wouldn't understand what was being said. Many terms are still found in tango lyrics.
MILONGA: A social dance, a precursor to the tango, where people gather to tango or dance to a type of lively music written in 2/4 time.
MILOGUERO/MILOGUERA: A person who frequents milongas and for whom tango is a way of life.
MOLINETE: windmill; wheel. A step in which the dancer walks in a grapevine pattern around the other, who usually pivots center.
OCHO: eight. Figure eights: a crossing and pivoting figure from which the fan in American tango is derived. El ocho is considered to be one of the oldest steps in tango and refers to a time when women wore floor-length skirts and danced on dirt floors. The quality of women's dancing was judged by the figure eight their skirts left behind in the dirt.
PLANCHADORAS: from plancha, flatiron. A woman who sits all night the milongas without being asked to dance because she doesn't know how to dance well enough.
PORTENO/PORTENA: an inhabitant of the port city of Buenos Aires.
RESOLUCION: resolution. The end to the basic pattern.
SACADA: from sacar, to take out. The most common term for a displacement of a leg or foot by the partner's leg or foot.
SALIDA: from salir, to exit. The first steps of the basic tango pattern, or an opening, as well as exit or way out.
TANDA: group, batch. A set (traditionally three to five songs or pieces) of dance music. Usually couples dance together for a tanda. If they aren't dancing well together or one partner isn't enjoying the dance, that person says thank you and leaves before the tanda ends. Tandas are separated by a cortina, or short interlude of music.
TANGUERO/TANGUERA: a tango aficionado who may or may not be a dancer. The term can refer to anyone who is passionate about any part of the tango, such as the music, history, Lunfardo, etc.
VALS: Argentine waltz.
VOLCADA: from volcar, to tip over. The leader causes the follower to tilt or lean forward and fall off her axis before he catches her again. Her free leg sweeps the floor.
October 31, 2021
Penso che per apprezzare davvero questo libro sia necessario (o almeno consigliabile) conoscere il mondo del tango: ballarlo, da molto o appena agli inizi non importa, oppure essere interessati alla possibilità di studiarlo, oppure avere amici che vi hanno ossessionato con i loro racconti di tango e che non sanno parlare d'altro, così sarebbe un'occasione per capirli!
Io ho iniziato a ballare tango più o meno nello stesso anno di pubblicazione del libro, e anche se Maria Finn è a New York e io sono a Torino è stato come ripercorrere la mia stessa esperienza e mi ha emozionato moltissimo. I primi passi, le figure di base, le pratiche tra principianti, le prime milongas, i ballerini che non ci invitano mai, i ballerini che dopo una tanda si vogliono evitare per sempre... Il tango è così, un linguaggio comune che è "casa" in ogni parte del mondo e si fonda sulla comunicazione dei corpi e delle emozioni, ma è anche fenomeno sociale degno di essere indagato.
Altro pregio del libro infatti, rispetto a tante pubblicazioni a tema tanguero, è il punto di vista tutto femminile, del tutto asimmetrico rispetto a quello maschile.
Mi spiace che nella traduzione italiana (che io ho letto) il titolo sia stato tradotto in modo banale, "Amore tango", perdendo tutto il valore metaforico del titolo originale.
Io ho iniziato a ballare tango più o meno nello stesso anno di pubblicazione del libro, e anche se Maria Finn è a New York e io sono a Torino è stato come ripercorrere la mia stessa esperienza e mi ha emozionato moltissimo. I primi passi, le figure di base, le pratiche tra principianti, le prime milongas, i ballerini che non ci invitano mai, i ballerini che dopo una tanda si vogliono evitare per sempre... Il tango è così, un linguaggio comune che è "casa" in ogni parte del mondo e si fonda sulla comunicazione dei corpi e delle emozioni, ma è anche fenomeno sociale degno di essere indagato.
Altro pregio del libro infatti, rispetto a tante pubblicazioni a tema tanguero, è il punto di vista tutto femminile, del tutto asimmetrico rispetto a quello maschile.
Mi spiace che nella traduzione italiana (che io ho letto) il titolo sia stato tradotto in modo banale, "Amore tango", perdendo tutto il valore metaforico del titolo originale.
September 19, 2017
One of the best books on dance that I've ever read. This is "Wild" on the dance floor, the story of a woman rebuilding her life by tapping into the vitality and vulnerability of the Argentine tango. Dance has so many valuable lessons for life, and this book explicates those beautifully.
July 10, 2020
Just enchanted. Went out and got Shall We Dance at the Library and took some Line Dancing lessons with the wife. Just stumbled across it in the bookstore trolling the shelves. It was one of the worker bees selections. Travel, history and romance with an intelligent woman as your guide.
July 14, 2018
about a recently abandoned wife and how she rebuilds her confidence and trust in others and herself, using tango as an outlet.
August 27, 2020
If you like reading about the tango, someone’s unhappy divorce, various places someone travelled and random trivia, you will probably like this book.
April 6, 2024
Life through a dance lens..a quiet read
December 27, 2011
On my first visit to the legendary bookstore The Strand in NYC I was browsing the discount tables and came across this title. I despertely want to learn all types of ballroom dancing and tango dancing especially has always fascinated me. so naturally I had to have this book.
It took me awhile to figure out that the author wasn't Latina, only formerly married to a Latino! (he was Cuban-American I believe). She knows so much about our mannerisms, our style, etc. and is so respectful and in love with the heritage. I was most impressed. My only complaint would be that this is very much a solo-act, and the author even remains aloof. There is little emotional connection to the secondary characters and not much emotion goes towards the author either. Yes you feel sad that she got a divorce but that's about it. And occasionally I laughed at how she handled life post-divorce but it was also disconcerting because as crazy as she sometimes acted, it struck me that someone actually did those things. People actually react in such ways when they are in such pain. Ay ay ay it's enough to make you want to not fall in love. But the book is not depressing or anti-love! I also thought that the author would abruptly explain technical tango terms and moves which jarred me from the flow of the story but the "life is a tango" comparisons drew me back in to the mesmerizing storyline.
This book to me reads like a wonderfully slow and dramatic story and also a fantastically put together everything-you-need-to-know-about-tango (especially tango dancing in NYC) book. I only wish I lived in NYC so I could visit all the places mentioned. I was also enamored with how easily the author managed to connect tango steps to her life, drawing comparisons seemingly without much effort. I had suspected she would have to stretch a bit but they all seemed to fit quite smoothly (granted I'm not a tango dancer so I may be wrong). "Tango is a way to learn through the body, to take one's pain into muslce memory and translate it into something else, something nobler. The contradictions-that comfort could be found among strangers, intimacy felt within a crowed, songs about heartbreak help a person find a way out of it-are embedded in the tango, and it begins and ends with the embrace." (pg. 13), the author clearly illustrates both overtly and subtly how tango helped her reach an optimistic outlook on being a divorcee.
I intend on joining ballroom dancing in college and fully taking advantage of Chicago SummerDance lessons (they are free)! And I would love to study abroad in Buenos Aires. The author touches on the healtyy economy of Argentina at this time, especially for Americans, and according to the CNN show GPS prices are still good (although it also predicted inflation would increase). I want to see milongas in Buenos Aires for myself where "men do not approach women to ask them to dance, rather, they sit across the room from them and make eye contact. If the woman does not avert her eyes, the man nods slightly, almost imperceptibly. If the woman nods back, then he approaches her table, or both stand and meet on the dance floor. The head motion, the subtle agreement, is known as cabeceo, from the Spanish word for 'head', cabeza. The verb cabecer means to moveo ne's head, as if to nod; its noun form, cabeceo, is a tango invitation. The men are known as cabeceros. The cabeceo saves men from being rejected publicly, and it allows women to refuse gracefully." (pg. 145), this is a custom I think Americans should adopt. Think of all the awkward moments it could dissipate (or as the author acknowledges-create-when one does not know if the person is really staring at them haha).
I cannot wait to learn to tango, tango at a milonga in the U.S. and Buenos Aires and try some good steak :)
It took me awhile to figure out that the author wasn't Latina, only formerly married to a Latino! (he was Cuban-American I believe). She knows so much about our mannerisms, our style, etc. and is so respectful and in love with the heritage. I was most impressed. My only complaint would be that this is very much a solo-act, and the author even remains aloof. There is little emotional connection to the secondary characters and not much emotion goes towards the author either. Yes you feel sad that she got a divorce but that's about it. And occasionally I laughed at how she handled life post-divorce but it was also disconcerting because as crazy as she sometimes acted, it struck me that someone actually did those things. People actually react in such ways when they are in such pain. Ay ay ay it's enough to make you want to not fall in love. But the book is not depressing or anti-love! I also thought that the author would abruptly explain technical tango terms and moves which jarred me from the flow of the story but the "life is a tango" comparisons drew me back in to the mesmerizing storyline.
This book to me reads like a wonderfully slow and dramatic story and also a fantastically put together everything-you-need-to-know-about-tango (especially tango dancing in NYC) book. I only wish I lived in NYC so I could visit all the places mentioned. I was also enamored with how easily the author managed to connect tango steps to her life, drawing comparisons seemingly without much effort. I had suspected she would have to stretch a bit but they all seemed to fit quite smoothly (granted I'm not a tango dancer so I may be wrong). "Tango is a way to learn through the body, to take one's pain into muslce memory and translate it into something else, something nobler. The contradictions-that comfort could be found among strangers, intimacy felt within a crowed, songs about heartbreak help a person find a way out of it-are embedded in the tango, and it begins and ends with the embrace." (pg. 13), the author clearly illustrates both overtly and subtly how tango helped her reach an optimistic outlook on being a divorcee.
I intend on joining ballroom dancing in college and fully taking advantage of Chicago SummerDance lessons (they are free)! And I would love to study abroad in Buenos Aires. The author touches on the healtyy economy of Argentina at this time, especially for Americans, and according to the CNN show GPS prices are still good (although it also predicted inflation would increase). I want to see milongas in Buenos Aires for myself where "men do not approach women to ask them to dance, rather, they sit across the room from them and make eye contact. If the woman does not avert her eyes, the man nods slightly, almost imperceptibly. If the woman nods back, then he approaches her table, or both stand and meet on the dance floor. The head motion, the subtle agreement, is known as cabeceo, from the Spanish word for 'head', cabeza. The verb cabecer means to moveo ne's head, as if to nod; its noun form, cabeceo, is a tango invitation. The men are known as cabeceros. The cabeceo saves men from being rejected publicly, and it allows women to refuse gracefully." (pg. 145), this is a custom I think Americans should adopt. Think of all the awkward moments it could dissipate (or as the author acknowledges-create-when one does not know if the person is really staring at them haha).
I cannot wait to learn to tango, tango at a milonga in the U.S. and Buenos Aires and try some good steak :)
March 25, 2010
I did not realize until I encountered the author’s name in the book that this was a memoir. This book was well written and researched. I enjoyed the embrace through the exit of this book. The author takes us on a journey of learning to live after a divorce or bad break up. She doesn’t harp on the negative of that whole process but instead goes inward through the tango to be reborn into a better person. It was funny, sad, and most importantly educational. I learned a lot about the tango, relationships, and moving on. I look forward to the next installment of the memoir. I felt she connected with at least two men that I thought would turn out to be more but maybe that is for the next book.
My favorite moments in the book were the descriptions of Maria’s dances. She has a way of making the experience like I was sitting in the room on the side watching the beauty or the shame. The dialog when used was believable also. I enjoyed the read and it was not predictable. I will pull this book out again when I want to experience the embrace of tango in my own life.
Read the glossary first, it really helped go through the book if you don’t know tango terms. The only thing that slowed me down sometimes was reading through the lingo of the tango or remembering who was who. In the beginning of the book before the main characters were established I found myself going back and forth trying to remember who was who.
I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
April 6, 2010
Journalist Maria Finn is a lonely, heartbroken woman struggling to accept her divorce. In one passage from the book she describes herself as still searching for reasons on her face and body as to why he fell out of love with her. She immerses herself in the world of Tango until she finds a path to healing. Amidst tango lessons, practicas and social milongas, she interjects the history of the dance.
The Tango history infused in the story was interesting. The reader gets a good sense of the dance and of the experience of entering the dance world from a beginner's view. (Although Maria was already an accomplished salsa dancer so not exactly a fledgling.)
Characters are developed along the way but not in any great detail. I didn't get a sense of really knowing or caring deeply about any of them by the book's end. They were merely acquaintances, familar but not intimate friends.
And that is what kept me from giving this book more stars. It's lack of intimacy. At times the delivery seemed a bit stoic, almost bordering on aloof so I never really felt any excitement building. Emotionally it was a steady ride but failed to soar to great heights of exhilaration or to plummet into despair as this tale of heartbreak and renewal through dance may have.
Perhaps too much information was tackled in too few pages to develop any depth or emotional bond ... or perhaps the historical information was placed in a way that disrupted the flow a bit ... not sure but a "goodread" nonetheless.
The Tango history infused in the story was interesting. The reader gets a good sense of the dance and of the experience of entering the dance world from a beginner's view. (Although Maria was already an accomplished salsa dancer so not exactly a fledgling.)
Characters are developed along the way but not in any great detail. I didn't get a sense of really knowing or caring deeply about any of them by the book's end. They were merely acquaintances, familar but not intimate friends.
And that is what kept me from giving this book more stars. It's lack of intimacy. At times the delivery seemed a bit stoic, almost bordering on aloof so I never really felt any excitement building. Emotionally it was a steady ride but failed to soar to great heights of exhilaration or to plummet into despair as this tale of heartbreak and renewal through dance may have.
Perhaps too much information was tackled in too few pages to develop any depth or emotional bond ... or perhaps the historical information was placed in a way that disrupted the flow a bit ... not sure but a "goodread" nonetheless.
February 22, 2010
In Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home Maria Finn relates how she recovered from a broken heart by learning the tango. It begins when she finds out her husband has been cheating on her. After throwing him out she turns to the world of tango for the intimacy, physical closeness, and mental spark she is suddenly missing in her life. As she learns each new step she gains back her confidence, makes new friends, and gradually is able to open up again. By the time she travels to Buenos Aires she is ready for all the fire and romance of dancing the tango in the country that created it.
Maria Finn does a beautiful job describing what it is that draws people to dancing, and to dancing the tango in particular. Her explanations of the connection two dancers sometimes feel and the constant quest to capture that feeling will make anyone want to tango. I liked her humble accounts of messing up the new steps and frustrating her more experienced partners and I loved her descriptions of all the personalities frequenting the milongas. Social dances make for the best people watching! I wish the book had included a bit more about the people and a little less of the technical dance talk, but still an interesting, easy read.
Maria Finn does a beautiful job describing what it is that draws people to dancing, and to dancing the tango in particular. Her explanations of the connection two dancers sometimes feel and the constant quest to capture that feeling will make anyone want to tango. I liked her humble accounts of messing up the new steps and frustrating her more experienced partners and I loved her descriptions of all the personalities frequenting the milongas. Social dances make for the best people watching! I wish the book had included a bit more about the people and a little less of the technical dance talk, but still an interesting, easy read.
April 21, 2012
From the back cover: Maria Finn’s husband was cheating. First she threw him out. Then she cried. Then she signed up for tango lessons. Thus begins a memoir steeped in the history of this provocative, fascinating dance that evolved over centuries from many different cultures and countries. As I followed Maria’s first fumbling steps, I was swept along on her moving journey. From the first moments of eerie calm after reading her husband’s startling email exchange between himself and his lover through the halting lessons and bold/shy overtures from strange men and women, I found myself caught up in the rhythm of her prose and the clear-eyed, unflinching account of what it takes to weather a bitter divorce and embrace a whole new lifestyle. After reading this book, I wanted to learn how to tango. That, perhaps, is the true test of any book—it’s ability to entangle you and lead you into a whole new world.
January 20, 2012
What would you do if you found your husband cheated on you and you decide to get a divorce? What would help you with your heartache, the disappointment, the shame? Maria Finn found the Tango and a whole new way of looking at life in this book.
I thought this book was very well written and very emotion felt. All of the history of the dance as well as the description of the dance steps made me want to go out and learn the tango. It gave me a true sense of what the dancing world is really like and how different it is than I ever imagined. Her small stories about her escapades throughout were very well placed and had just a touch of humor to them that gave some parts a very light feel. Other parts made you feel empathy for author. It was very hard to put down unlike some memoirs I have read in the past. If your interested in dance give this book a try.
I thought this book was very well written and very emotion felt. All of the history of the dance as well as the description of the dance steps made me want to go out and learn the tango. It gave me a true sense of what the dancing world is really like and how different it is than I ever imagined. Her small stories about her escapades throughout were very well placed and had just a touch of humor to them that gave some parts a very light feel. Other parts made you feel empathy for author. It was very hard to put down unlike some memoirs I have read in the past. If your interested in dance give this book a try.
March 21, 2010
Received for review through FirstReads program. Really enjoyed this! I've always been fascinated by Argentine tango so that is what drew me to this title. I was impressed with the clarity of the author's explanations of the dance techniques and the way she used the different steps to discuss her process of recovery from divorce and her re-entry into life as a single woman. Unlike many such memoirs she did not make herself the real focus in a 'poor little me' way but rather generalized things so that the reader could relate to the emotions. There is so much about communication, trust, assertiveness and love in all its forms that comes through these pages. A really pleasant read that left me with much to think about.
March 10, 2010
Finn decides to take tango lessons after ending her marriage to her cheating husband. As she explores the intricate moves of the tango and grieves over the end of her marriage, she later begins to discover a new, fulfilling life for herself.
There were times when I was lost on the dance moves she was attempting to explain. It’s such a visual art that it’s difficult at times to articulate. I was highly intrigued by the history and transformations of the dance as it has been discovered by so many different cultures.
This book is definitely worth reading for anyone with even a passing interest in the tango.
There were times when I was lost on the dance moves she was attempting to explain. It’s such a visual art that it’s difficult at times to articulate. I was highly intrigued by the history and transformations of the dance as it has been discovered by so many different cultures.
This book is definitely worth reading for anyone with even a passing interest in the tango.
June 10, 2010
I received this book free to review in March and unfortunately I am just getting around to reviewing it, although I read it the week I got it. Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home was a well written book. I enjoyed reading it, although it was very different from my usual genre. There were times when the detailed information on the history and the tecnique of the Tango was a little much for me. Rather than make me want to take a Tango class, it confirmed my own thought that it would be way out of my coordination legue!
January 19, 2016
A fast and easy read about heartbreak and dancing. I'm always drawn to these stories - the ones where the divorced woman rebuilds her life, and I enjoyed this one as much as I've enjoyed the others. I liked reading about the mechanics of the dance, the social atmosphere and customs of the lessons and dances, and how all of those things apply to many facets of ones life. Of the tango, the author says: "It’s a dance that revels in the drama of suffering, one that says that failure binds us together much more closely than does success." Perfectly fitting for a turn-your-life-around book. :)
March 13, 2010
Won on Goodreads Giveaway! Maria Finn’s memoir. Her husband was cheating. She divorced him and signed up for tango lessons. She even travels to Buenos Aires, the birthplace of tango.
I really enjoyed reading about the friendships she makes, learning the dance through each step and movement, the history of the dance, the music, lyrics, the style of shoes and clothing – even how the Tango can relate to relationships.
I really enjoyed reading about the friendships she makes, learning the dance through each step and movement, the history of the dance, the music, lyrics, the style of shoes and clothing – even how the Tango can relate to relationships.
March 17, 2010
This book was not boring. It wove the author's memoir of a time in her life, the steps and phlosophy of Tango, and the history of Tango into a narrative. One also got a glimpse of some far-away places. I enjoyed the history of Tango, but I must admit that if a description of a Tango step lost me, I just kept on reading and didn't try to picture it. I think this book would encourage some people to learn the Tango, but not me. I am just too old to go through all that complicated hard work.
March 15, 2010
I got this from FirstReads. I don't usually read memoirs and I can't dance so I really wasn't sure what to expect. I was actually pleasantly surprised by its readability. The writing is fresh and I was intrigued by the details and history of Tango.
However, it is essentially a book about man's, or rather woman's, search for happiness and I'm afraid it falls short. It is, yet again, a book about the pathetic 30-something, narcissistic generation. Uninspiring.
However, it is essentially a book about man's, or rather woman's, search for happiness and I'm afraid it falls short. It is, yet again, a book about the pathetic 30-something, narcissistic generation. Uninspiring.
March 21, 2010
An interesting little memoir by a young woman who finds solice and some insights about relationships in the tango. As she is going through a divorice. It's also a little travelogue as she travels to Buenos Aires and experiences the tango in one of its homes.
I got lost at times in the detailed descriptions of the dance; but I think would be especially interesting to those who know the tange and to whom any dance is part of their lives. (Note to Kat: I think you'd like this one.)
I got lost at times in the detailed descriptions of the dance; but I think would be especially interesting to those who know the tange and to whom any dance is part of their lives. (Note to Kat: I think you'd like this one.)
January 16, 2011
There are only two things a man wants when he dances with you. He wants you to want to dance with him more than any other man. He wants to impress you. You don't have to do anything.
I actually enjoyed leading - there's more creativity involved than in following - and it seemed easy to give her pleasure, make her smile. And I was always right - she had to follow me no matter what fool thing I did. Ahh, the world from a man's perspective.
June 11, 2010
I learned a lot about Tango, and how difficult it really must be to learn. Maria Finn wrote a light-hearted memoir about going through a very sad break-up of her marriage (the jerk was cheating on her)and juxtaposing the stages of coping with her divorce with the steps of Tango. I never realized that Tango is almost like a religion for some people.
March 16, 2010
I have a broken ankle and this book made me really, really want to take tango lessons. It's a story of learning to trust again after a betrayal, through learning to tango. I found the story, wrapped in a description of the tango, wrapped in the history of tango to be very interesting. I won this book.
April 30, 2010
This book struck a chord in me the way "Eat, Pray, Love" did. When I finished I found myself searching the internet for Tango lessons near me! A good read for anyone who has had their heart broken.
July 13, 2010
A history of tango, a personal heartbreak, the pleasures of following a well-led dance...Now I want to tango, visit New York and Argentina, and immerse myself in the beautiful company of the people I dance with. Finn captures wonderfully, in words, many of the experiences and feelings of the beautiful moments in dance.
April 1, 2012
I actually had to stop reading a look up argentine and american tango on youtube so I could see the moves. This worked out better than the last time I looked for a video of something I read about. I really enjoyed this book, especially how the author was able to relate the tango to life. It made me want to sign up for dance class.
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