Amen: The autobiography of a nun

by Sister Jesme

On 31 August 2008, sister Jesme left the congregation of Mother of Carmel. The authorities' repeated attempts to have her declared insane, she says, left her no other option. This book, a first of its kind in India, is an outpouring of her experiences as a nun for thirty three years.

Searing, sincere and sensitive, Amen is a plea for a reformation of the church and comes at a time of its growing concern about nuns and priests. It affirms Jesme's unbroken spirit and faith in Jesus and the Church, living like a nun but outside the Four Walls of the Convent.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography

178 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Dr. Appu Sasidharan (Dasfill) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that caused a lot of ruckus in Kerala. The courage shown by the author requires appreciation.

Sister Jesme tells the bad experiences she had to go through during her life as a Christian nun in Kerala. Some of the statements in this book might hurt you if you are a Christian and deeply religious person.

The author has not much previous experience writing a book, which is reflected in how she wrote this book. Still, the topics she discusses in this book are highly controversial that need more profound discussion.
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[Elsa Rajan Pradhananga · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was one of the books that I was embarrassed I own. So I hid it in the corner of my book shelf, pretended it wasn't there and never discussed it with anyone. I wasn’t sure if the shame I associated with Amen was owing to malpractices in the Catholic Church, unholy secrets of those regarded highly in the faith I hold dear to or because the incidents disclosed in the book happened in places not far from my hometown. Amen is a scandalous book that was wrongly marketed as a nun’s revelation of the sexual debauchery in the Church because the few such incidents mentioned in the book are put across subtly as if they don't mean much to the author.

Celibacy was imposed on clergy in the 11th century only because the church feared losing the wealth they accumulated, to heirs of the clerics. The celibate status added a mystique to priests and nuns and ensured their loyalty to the institution. In a community that adored saints who became martyrs defending their virginity, emphasis was laid upon the vow of chastity. But when faced with irrepressible urges, holy men and women resorted to exploiting vulnerable objects of desire.

In Amen, Sister Jesme recalls of a time when the other nuns in the convent thanked her for pacifying Sister Vimy by submitting to her sexual advances. It’s a shame that none of them dared to speak out risking their vocation and the privileges that came with it even when sexual advances came from priests, the obedience to whom is the cornerstone to Catholic Church. Catholics barring a few like myself allow a forced periodic introspection and holy intervention at the confessional booth (that I joke of as being a fire escape) only because we revere priests and think of them as being representatives of JC. Sister Jesme rushes through the classism, corruption, homosexual and heterosexual relationships practiced by the revered holy men and women of the church.

But what’s embarrassing is that, it’s none of these misdeeds that made Sr Jesme request for dispensation from the convent but petty convent politics that she thought targeted and isolated her. She feared being declared insane and made passive and silent with treatment. I can’t grasp how these women don't lose their minds under the given circumstances.

[Nandakishore Mridula · Rating 2 out of 5]

Revelations about sexual misconduct within the Catholic Church are no longer news. Paedophilia, rape... you name it, they have it. So this tell-all memoir by a former nun did not have the impact it should have produced upon me, had I read it when it was published in 2009.

Sister Jesme was quite a senior teacher within the faculty of the Catholic colleges within my hometown of Thrissur in Kerala, serving as Vice Principal in one institution (Vimala College) and Principal in another (St. Mary's College). Then on August 31, 2008 she decided to quit the order due to harassment and continue her life of celibacy as a layperson. The next year, she brought out this memoir, laying bare the favouritism, financial misappropriations and harassment (sexual and otherwise) happening within the organisation. The book was a bestseller immediately and created quite a furore.

According to Jesme, she was tortured mentally from day one onwards because she would not condone the misdeeds of her peers and the management. If one goes by her words, she is an exceptionally brilliant yet humble human being who has dedicated her whole life to Jesus, on a one-woman mission to reform the church through compassion. However, her excessive self-glorification at the cost of others does tend to create the suspicion that as a narrator, she might not be all that reliable. And when one starts suspecting that, the efficacy and veracity of the memoir falls by the wayside.

The main contention of Sister Jesme is that she had been stymied all along her career path by nepotistic superiors, and later on they tried to prove that she was mentally unstable and tried to get her admitted into a psychiatric hospital. While this is quite possible, her flowery words and delirious outpourings concerning Jesus does make one suspect a hint of sexual frustration somewhere in her psyche: also, the way she has tagged almost all of her superiors as conspiring against her smacks a little of persecution mania.

This is not to say that I disbelieve what she has to say about the misdeeds within the church. There have been a lot of revelations regarding how finances have been misappropriated, how poor and Dalit children have been discriminated against, and how priests have sexually harassed nuns, ladies of the congregation and even children for all of them to be fabrications. Also, the instances of homosexuality within the nunnery seem to be disturbingly akin to the sexual power play mentioned by Desmond Morris among zoo animals.

There is no flow to the language. The narrative moves in stops and jerks, with the author's exhortations to Jesus interspersed with her cribbing about other nuns and descriptions of sexual escapades. In one or two places, it even resembled porn - which I find out of a place in a book of this sort.

Overall, a disappointment.

[Trupti Dorge · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are 2 sides to Amen. First is, how is Amen as an entertainment medium and second is the subject matter. And although it’s difficult to separate the two, I have to make that distinction here.
Amen is an autobiography of a nun, something that’s very apparent from the name. Sister Jesme, born in 1956, realized that she wanted to spend her life in service to Jesus when she was in her late teens. She completed all those courses and compulsory tests that you are supposed to do if you want to become a nun, for years and years apparently.

After joining the Church as a nun, she realizes that things are not like she thought they would be. In her book she mentions that homosexuality is very common in the Church and those who don’t reciprocate the senior sisters advances have to face the consequences. Sister Jesme was forced into a homo relationship with a sister and although everyone knew about it they did not object. In fact they encouraged her to co-operate for their peace of mind. She also states examples where a few priests are involved in sexual relationships with the nuns. She also tells us that corruption is very common in schools and colleges run by the church. They ask for donations and many sisters harbor petty jealousies against other sisters.

Sister Jesme was very outspoken on various issues such as donations among others which led to some of the senior sisters turning against her. They perceived her as a threat. She gives a lot of examples and incidents to prove the point. After some years, when she becomes the principle of a college, they try to remove her from the post by falsely accusing her of wrong doings. When that is unsuccessful, they try to get her admitted to a mental hospital and start treatments on her. Finally, she has enough and leaves the Congregation and goes into hiding. She is afraid that they will force her to come back and eventually prove that she is mentally unstable.

The press comes to know about it and they question the congregation. They tell them that she is mentally unstable. That’s when sister Jesme comes out with the truth.

This book is one more embarrassment to the Catholic Church in Kerala along with the string of incidents that splashed on South Indian newspapers recently. There was a Sister Abhaya Murder case in which two Catholic priests and a nun were arrested and the suicide case of a nun who was made to do all the chores in the convent and in the night she was sexually harassed by the head of the convent.
I don’t know if anything happened after this book was released but there is one thing that Sister Jesme mentions in the epilogue which was really disgusting and something that is not expected from a religious body.
“The church also brings out a bimonthly called the Truth. In march issue, X, no. 2, the editor himself has done a cover story about me with the heading –Amen: The Autobiography of Sr Jesme: The confession of a prostitute). The cover carries a photograph of my body, across which are plastered my references to sex in the book, taken out of context.”

All I can say is that whatever be her personal reasons for writing the book I feel it was necessary. A few corrupt priests and nuns should not be allowed to corrupt the entire church system. For those who think this book is against the church and all the holy nuns, let me tell you it isn’t. It’s against corruption and a few bad people. I hope the church instead of denying the charges and accusations, try to find out the guilty and make it safe for others.

Now onto the point about how entertaining was the book. Honestly it was boring. I couldn’t bring myself to read it after about 100 pages. But I finished it because I wanted to know what happened. The writing style is very novice and like reading history notes or something. One incident blends into the other and before you try and understand what happened you are pulled into an entirely non-related incident. I literally had to slog through it.

Sorry Sister Jesme, but I think you should have co-written it with another author. This book was first released in Malayalam although it was originally written in English. The Malayalam version was an instant hit and went to it’s third printing in the first month itself.

Woah…that was some review, wasn’t it? I’m surprised if you reached this far.

Conclusion: Skip it. Read the news and Google the reviews. Time is too precious.

First posted at http://violetcrush.wordpress.com/2009...

[Samir Dhond · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I finished reading the book, the first thought that came to my mind was “This is possible. In fact, I am sure this happens.” We are dealing with Human Beings and therefore, we are dealing with human emotions as they are experienced by people regardless of the environment in which they live. I found the book shocking in pieces and not so shocking with some other details. Places of worship, regardless of the religion, are places that are run by Human Beings. They have feelings and they all need an outlet to express those feelings. It would be very difficult to ignore them. The book essentially revolves around the theme of “Human emotions” and the impact of human emotions on their own behavior.

Human mind works differently on several occasions. The book comes across as honest but slips into research mode at times. Half way through, I felt as if I was reading a report. The book keeps on reporting incidents after incidents. The book goes further and also articulates the side effects of those incidents on Sister Jesme. While that might be perfectly okay, the book drags in pace at places where such incidents are reported. It does not seen to have a good flow.

I must say that her approach of teaching has been very innovative and courageous. In India, with a large percentage of illiteracy, it is imperative to adopt innovative approaches to facilitating education, especially when it comes to teaching others to read and write. In India, we want teachers who offer freedom to their pupils and allow them to learn things on their own.

The politics, the red tapism in institutions such as churches, etc., are not new to readers, I hope. Wherever there are people, there would be politics. A church is no exception to that. The book also talks exclusively about such politics, red tapism. A sense of helplessness prevailed in Sister Jesme’s writing as I read those chapters that detailed incidents of political nature.

Read the book for it offers an insight into the world of Nuns and of course, for the bravery of Sister Jesme. Applaud her for her courage of conviction and confidence. Hats off to you Sister Jesme. If you are reading this, please do respond. I would like to exchange notes with you.

[Sarad Pradhan]

It's revelation that one hardly expects to know. She is sincere about putting her problems that authority seemingly ignores like corruption and homosexuality. Church should not function like it used to be in 7the century......Good book to know more about life inside convent.

[Loy Machedo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Where most of the books found in South India speak flawlessly of a perfect world where rock solid foundation of Christianity is sparkling and blissful combination of peace and joy, here comes a book that shakes the very foundation to its roots. From the slippery slope of sexual exploitation to the rocky roads of systematic corruption and abject racism, comes a book that is a sum total of thirty three years of facing the reality behind the iron dark walls of the Christian self proclaimed Infallible World.

The only drawback to this book as to why I do not recommend it is the repeated self belief and connection to every event to the will of Christ. So where you expect an intelligent read, you are bombarded with paragraphs and paragraphs of praise and worship to a nun's belief. I mean I ask myself - couldn't you come out with two versions of this book and have one version only dedicated to making the story to the point without all this religious vociferousness?

Overall, read it only if you are looking for a true and shocking perspective over-spiced with too much of religious statements all around.

Overall ratings - 3/10

[Neenu Jose · Rating 2 out of 5]

From a literary point of view, the writing clearly lacks flow as the author keeps jumping from one subject to the other. With regard to the experiences described by sister Jesme, there is nothing revealing about it. The society is well aware of the politics within church establishments. However, I admire sister Jesme's courage to walk out of the constricted walls of the convent and to speak out against her authorities. Instead of leading a life away from the critical eyes of the public, she dared to come forward by publishing this book. Kudos to sister Jesme!!

[Sreelekshmi Ramachandran · Rating 3 out of 5]

33 വർഷത്തെ സഭാ ജീവിതം അവസാനിപ്പിച്ചു കൊണ്ട് സ്വാതന്ത്ര്യത്തിന്റെ ലോകത്തേക്ക് ഇറങ്ങിയ സിസ്റ്റർ ജെസ്മിയുടെ ആത്മകഥയാണ് ഈ പുസ്തകം.

അവൾ ഉൾവിളിയാലേ ദൈവ സന്നിധിയിലേക്ക് എത്തിയതാണ്. എന്നാൽ ഒരു കന്യാസ്ത്രീയായി മഠത്തിനുള്ളിലെ ജീവിതമാരംഭിച്ചതിനു ശേഷം എല്ലാം മാറിമാറിയുന്നു..
പരിശുദ്ധമെന്നും പാവനമെന്നും ഉദ്ഘോഷിക്കുന്ന ഈ സന്യാസ സമൂഹങ്ങളിൽ നടക്കുന്ന അനീതികൾ, രാഷ്രീയ കുതികാൽ വെട്ടുകൾ, ലൈംഗിക അരാജകത്വങ്ങൾ തുടങ്ങി നിരവധി സംഭവങ്ങൾ തുറന്നു പറഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ടാണ് പുസ്തകം മുന്നോട്ട് പോകുന്നത്..

നമ്മൾ നിത്യേന കേട്ടിട്ടുള്ളതും ക്രിസ്ത്യൻ സമൂഹം എല്ലാക്കാലവും മറച്ചു പിടിക്കാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുകയും ചെയ്തു വരുന്ന ഇരുണ്ട ഇത്തരം അദ്ധ്യായങ്ങളെ പൊളിച്ചു കൊണ്ട് ഇങ്ങനെ ഒരു തുറന്നെഴുത്തു നടത്തിയ സിസ്റ്റർ ജെസ്മി ഒരുപാടു വിമർശങ്ങൾക്കും അഭിനന്ദനങ്ങൾക്കും ഒരേ സമയം പാത്രമായിട്ടുണ്ട്..

അധ്യാപിക കൂടിയായ സിസ്റ്റർ ജെസ്മി കവിതാസമാഹാരങ്ങൾ അടക്കം മറ്റു പുസ്തകങ്ങളും രചിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്.
തന്റെ 51 വയസ്സിലാണ്‌ അവർ സന്യാസജീവിതം ഉപേക്ഷിക്കുന്നത്. എന്നിരുന്നാലും താൻ ഇപ്പോഴും സന്യാസ ജീവിതം തന്നെ നയിക്കുന്നു എന്നാണ് അവർ പറഞ്ഞിട്ടുള്ളത്. ജെസ്മി എന്ന സന്യാസ്ഥനാമത്തിൽ തന്നെയാണ് അവർ ഇപ്പോഴും അറിയപ്പെടുന്നതും.
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📚Book - ആമേൻ
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[Anamika · Rating 3 out of 5]

Turning water into whine



Blame me for expecting something explosive. This was nothing more than the long rant of a disgruntled employee. The fact that she was a nun is just an added bonus. As a saying goes, if there's a devil residing in the roof of every normal household, there's a devil residing in each rafter in a convent. A house full of women where everyone is everyone's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the stuff Ekta Kapoor's dreams are made of. And the poor husband, Jesus Christ, looks at the drama from above helplessly and shakes his head in despair. And no, divorcing him isn't as easy as divorcing a human husband. A Convent, Hotel California. Same thing.

Sr. Jesme is a PhD in English, but this book reads like a ten year old's What I Did During My Summer Vacation essay.It is written in present tense , a flashback while she's on the train as a fugitive, just about to hand over her resignation. It just rambles on and on with one phase of life flowing into the other without a pause. There are too many references to Provincials and Generalities and church specific bureaucracy without saying which one was which or whether they were the same person throughout the book. Almost ten words on every page were within quotes, like why should ' plus two' be within quotes when referring to plus two students.

Sr. Jesme or maybe she's back to Memy now, paints herself as the goodiest of goody two shoes that ever walked the earth. Barring a single faltering in the room with a priest. She is goodness personified. She is a socialist who mingles with the lower strata of kitchen nuns freely, she is a liberal who watches movies and makes movies, she is so honest that she is the only one who stands up against capitation fee, she is the saviour of poor students, she's so Jesuslike that she always shows the other cheek. She's so everything that she actually deserves a YoSrJesmeSo set of jokes.

Agreed. The rot inside the church runs deep. You have corruption, sexual liaisons, petty jealousies, politics that will put our parliamentarians to shame, mind games , rampant sexism, racism and good old simple hate. She herself seems to have been victim to a 'special love' with another nun and almost succumbed to the advances of a priest. But I somehow am not able to bring myself to blindly believe her version of all the events in this book. Why would she be forced to take psychiatric treatment if there wasn't something that made the rest of the congregation believe she needed help? There must be something more to that part of the story, especially that incident being the breaking point that made her leave the congregation. But hey, who am I to judge. If she's happy now, free from the shackles of the Convent, good for her. I must Google for some follow ups about her life.

[Chirag M · Rating 3 out of 5]

A person's religious identity doesn't link him to everyone sharing that identity. Actions that bring disrepute to him, shouldn't be generalized to to others having something in common with them.

The book talks about the degradation of the religious christian institutions in Kerela - not the globe.

[Anil Swarup · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is an amazing book with amazing revelations. Not many have the courage to take on the establishment and very few have the articulation to convey an experience as traumatic as the one described, so graphically

[Ashok Krishna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Book Review – Amen: The Autobiography of a Nun
06th August ‘12

Another ‘explosive’ (!) book in the lines of ‘My Story’ (Kamala Das), ‘The Autobiography of a Sex-Worker’ (Nalini Jameela), or the melodramatic obscenities of a Taslima Nareen even. Only that the fire runs out of the fuse itself and the book turns out to be a damp squib. The book follows no norms of an autobiography and could very well have been named as ‘Musings of a Nun’, rather than as ‘Autobiography’. The author herself admits in the beginning of the book that this is no proper autobiography as per the norms.

The book lacks the coherence of a ‘My Story’ or the flow of Taslima’s semi-autobiographical, ‘French Lover’. The book contains no proper dates except towards the end. So, you have no chance of knowing whether a particular event happened during her 30th year of 40th year. Also, she has adopted the use of modified names rather than the original names of the people involved. While this might have been done out of goodwill to protect their dignity, the book loses its credibility. When no period is mentioned, no place is specified and pseudonyms are adopted against real names, the book is wobbling between a fiction and a biography.

Also, the events suddenly jump into our face without proper explanation. She says that her ‘authorities’ wanted her to undergo psychiatry treatment. But no valid explanation is given from her with regard to the events that could have prompted such an initiative on the part of authorities in such dignified places. Also, a major part of the book turns out to be discussing office politics and how she was penalized for ‘no mistake of hers’. This portion will remind the readers of Kiran Bedi’s autobiography, ‘I Dare’, where she keeps portraying everyone in the authority as villains, except herself. Don’t we need a proper depiction of events and incidents for us to decide who is at fault here?!

But the book cannot be brushed away completely. Some of the accusations that she makes are threatening the very foundation of the Church in Kerala. Homo-sexuality and illicit affairs prevalent among the people that have vowed their lives in the service of God, the mismanagement of money and power-struggles in the places of piety are things that no layperson will be able to digest. People have already started losing faith in the intermediaries of God. Be it the pervert ‘saints’ of Hinduism or the pedophile priests of the Pope, sexuality and immorality are threatening the very foundation of faith of a layperson.

The people in the highest echelons may soon take notice of these serious violations. With so many magazines and tabloids making mincemeat of the Church in Kerala over such allegations as well as recurring suicides of the nuns, it takes a lot for the people concerned to come clean and bring up transparency and credibility in the transactions of the Church.

The lovely messages of Jesus and his sacrifice at the cross cannot be diluted by events like these and we cannot afford to let people lose faith in religious institutions at this critical juncture! Wish someone cracks the whip before it is too late!

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like this. It was interesting to read about a woman who was so different to me, coming from a different background. This Indian woman wrote about her time in the convent and gives some shocking revelations, including being sexually assaulted by a priest and coerced into a lesbian affair. She remains conservative and a supporter of the church, but has left the convent. I enjoyed reading this and getting a different perspective, it was very interesting to read about the workings of the convent and what it was like, and reading about her religious experiences. I thought the book got weaker towards the end, she didn't include enough information from a nonbiased standpoint to explain the way people were treating her. They wanted her to get psychiatric intervention, but why? She portrays it as they didn't like the fact that she was running the school and trying to fix the corruption and the greed for money, but I couldn't help but wonder if there were any other reasons. She portrayed it as a plot to get her out of power, but I wish I could see the other side and find out what exactly they were accusing her of. After all, were only getting one side of the story. It also got a little tedious towards the end, talking about endless politics of the college. She also never acknowledges any wrongdoing anywhere throughout the book, which makes me wonder. It's hard for me to believe that one person never makes any mistakes.

[Dr. Charu Panicker · Rating 3 out of 5]

ദൈവത്തിന്റെ മണവാട്ടിയാവാൻ ഉൾവിളി കിട്ടി, ആ മാർഗ്ഗം തിരഞ്ഞെടുത്ത തൃശൂർക്കാരി പെൺകുട്ടി. കന്യാസ്ത്രി ആയതിനുശേഷം ഉണ്ടായ അനുഭവങ്ങളിലൂടെയാണ് ഒരു യാത്ര. കന്യാസ്‌ത്രീ മഠങ്ങളിലും സഭയുടെ മറ്റ് സ്ഥാപനങ്ങളിലും നടക്കുന്ന അനീതികൾ, കന്യാസ്ത്രീകൾക്കിടയിലെ രാഷ്ട്രീയം, പുരുഷമേൽകോയ്മ, ജനാധിപത്യ രാഹിത്യ���, ലൈംഗികചൂഷണം എന്നീ വിഷയങ്ങളാണ് ഈ ആത്മകഥയിൽ പങ്കുവയ്ക്കുന്നത്. സ്വാതന്ത്ര്യവും സമത്വവും സഭയ്ക്കുള്ളിൽ ഉണ്ടാവണം എന്നും സിസ്റ്റർ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നതായി ഈ പുസ്തകത്തിൽ നിന്ന് എന്ന് മനസ്സിലാകുന്നു. ഇത് ആഗ്രഹിക്കേണ്ട ഒന്നല്ല, അവകാശമാണെന്നും എല്ലാവർക്കും അറിയുന്നതാണല്ലോ! അവരുടെ പല കഴിവുകളും വെളിയിൽ കൊണ്ടുവരാനാവാതെ ഇരുട്ടിലാഴ്ന്നു. അധികാരത്തിൽ നിന്ന് ഒഴിവാക്കാൻ ഭ്രാന്തിയായി പോലും അവരെ ചിത്രീകരിച്ചു. തിരുവസ്ത്രം തിരിച്ചേല്പിച്ച് 30 വർഷത്തെ സന്ന്യാസ ജീവിതത്തിനോട് വിട പറഞ്ഞു. ശക്തമായ ഭാഷയിൽ പലരുടെയും പേരുകൾ വെളിപ്പെടുത്താതെ തന്നെ അവർ തന്റെ ആത്മകഥയിലൂടെ പ്രതികരിക്കുന്നു.

[Sneha Pillai · Rating 2 out of 5]

Heartbreaking but nothing stunning..it only gives an insider's account of church and congregation, most of which is already guessed and known partially to the outside world, thanks to media reports. However, one has to give the credit to Sr Jesme for not only openly speaking about it but also for showing the courage to write an autobiography. Though, a sensitive piece of writing, at times, Sr Jesme seems to be a little too sensitive about things. I do not doubt her attempt to be open and honest about her experiences but I do certainly feel that the accounts are biased. Anyways, the book is worth a single (quick) casual read as not much will stay with you (to ponder over) after you are finished.

[Nitya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Always been sceptical of the Church and the life it forces its own to live, but reading this was still disturbing - to know how petty, and small-minded and un-interested in God the Church can be.

And I know Sister Jesme is an M.Phil, PhD and all, but the book could probably have done with better editing. The structure was hard to follow and the narrative jumps from one event to the next. It was hard keeping track of which college she was at and who the main sisters were.

But still, good read.

[Libin Jacob · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a simple, straightforward and what I believe to be honest, look at what goes on behind the secret walls of convents and churches. The book gives the author a chance to talk about her side of the story and while doing so, she has shown that for all the vows and the prayers and the respect society heaps on them, many priests and nuns are just like most normal people nothing like holiness to them. Don't let any organized religion deceive you.
If you are a Christian or the one who follows Jesus then love him, that's enough

[Haseeb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amen a book written by sister Jesme in which she writes about the sexual harassments by the priests and closet homosexuality within nun ranks. Sister Jesme, 52, who was the Principal of St Mary’s College, Thrissur, till last August when she quit the Congregation of Mother.

She has disclosed the “dirty secrets” of the Church administration. How, under the hood of nun-hood and priest-hood, and the entire celibacy thing, sexual harrassment and abuse is rampant

[Laiju Lazar · Rating 4 out of 5]

ഒരു കന്യാസ്ത്രീയുടെ ധീരമായ തുറന്നുപറച്ചില്‍

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good one.

[Shashwat Shriparv · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Simple autobiography

[Shiny Ajit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truth

[Sachith Parameswaran · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nice one as it's an autobiography. But not such an extraordinary work to make an explosion in the society. In personal, I didn't like it.

[Dr. Ajith P Rajan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read...

[Treesa Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

Would've read the entire book or maybe a few pages more if my mom hadn't taken it away, throwing very unclear and vague accusations of it being a "bad book". Nevertheless, I've read enough of it to be informed of what it's about and how it's written. It's a pretty shocking book, as it goes into a LOT of detail with things like homosexuality, sexuality, corruption within the church. I'm aware that the Kerala catholic community isn't exactly all holy but to have my suspicions confirmed was validating. But, reading it turns to be a slog, as she isn't exactly the best writer despite all her degrees and PhDs(?). She goes into so much of detail of her besting her colleagues and classmates and achieving first rank literally every where she goes, it gets annoying to say the least. Almost everyone is against her for no reason other than her high achieving nature, her honesty and her holiness (the three Hs, baby). It's almost like reading a teenager blogging about her mundane life blowing every single event to insane proportions. It also feels very one sided, with all the random shocking events she goes into detail about that paints everyone around her as villains.

[Sreelekshmi Ramachandran · Rating 3 out of 5]

33 വർഷത്തെ സഭാ ജീവിതം അവസാനിപ്പിച്ചു കൊണ്ട് സ്വാതന്ത്ര്യത്തിന്റെ ലോകത്തേക്ക് ഇറങ്ങിയ സിസ്റ്റർ ജെസ്മിയുടെ ആത്മകഥയാണ് ഈ പുസ്തകം.

അവൾ ഉൾവിളിയാലേ ദൈവ സന്നിധിയിലേക്ക് എത്തിയതാണ്. എന്നാൽ ഒരു കന്യാസ്ത്രീയായി മഠത്തിനുള്ളിലെ ജീവിതമാരംഭിച്ചതിനു ശേഷം ആ ജീവിതം മാറിമാറിയുന്നു..
പരിശുദ്ധമെന്നും പാവനമെന്നും ഉദ്ഘോഷിക്കുന്ന ഈ സന്യാസ സമൂഹങ്ങളിൽ നടക്കുന്ന അനീതികൾ, രാഷ്രീയ കുതികാൽ വെട്ടുകൾ, ലൈംഗിക അരാജകത്വങ്ങൾ തുടങ്ങി നിരവധി സംഭവങ്ങൾ തുറന്നു പറഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ടാണ് പുസ്തകം മുന്നോട്ട് പോകുന്നത്..

നമ്മൾ നിത്യേന കേട്ടിട്ടുള്ളതും ക്രിസ്ത്യൻ സമൂഹം എല്ലാക്കാലവും മറച്ചു പിടിക്കാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുകയും ചെയ്തു വരുന്ന ഇരുണ്ട ഇത്തരം അദ്ധ്യായങ്ങളെ പൊളിച്ചു കൊണ്ട് ഇങ്ങനെ ഒരു തുറന്നെഴുത്തു നടത്തിയ സിസ്റ്റർ ജെസ്മി ഒരുപാടു വിമർശങ്ങൾക്കും അഭിനന്ദനങ്ങൾക്കും ഒരേ സമയം പാത്രമായിട്ടുണ്ട്..

അധ്യാപിക കൂടിയായ സിസ്റ്റർ ജെസ്മി കവിതാസമാഹാരങ്ങൾ അടക്കം മറ്റു പുസ്തകങ്ങളും രചിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്.
തന്റെ 51 വയസ്സിലാണ്‌ അവർ സന്യാസജീവിതം ഉപേക്ഷിക്കുന്നത്. എന്നിരുന്നാലും താൻ ഇപ്പോഴും സന്യാസ ജീവിതം തന്നെ നയിക്കുന്നു എന്നാണ് അവർ പറഞ്ഞിട്ടുള്ളത്. ജെസ്മി എന്ന സന്യാസ്ഥനാമത്തിൽ തന്നെയാണ് അവർ ഇപ്പോഴും അറിയപ്പെടുന്നതും.
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📚Book - ആമേൻ
✒️Writer- സിസ്റ്റർ ജെസ്മി
📜Publisher- dc books

[Laxmi]

Although an autobiography, this book (written in Malayalam and translated to English) concentrates majorly on her religious journey. She talks about how she decided to become a nun even though her family was not in complete agreement and her decision wasn't taken seriously at the convent as well, about the discrimination the sisters suffer while the priests aren't as bound in spite of the rules, how she has been uncorrupted and almost always on the right all through (which is a bit difficult to believe). She goes on to highlight a list of problems that exist in any convent and finally how she had to escape the convent, all the while being guided by Jesus.
The author, unlike a professional writer, has not made the content appealing to the audience; she simply states things and so the content seems rather plain/raw.

[Chaitya · Rating 3 out of 5]

This compelling book unveils the often unseen reality within the congregation of churches. Drawing from authentic, lived experiences, it sheds light on the deep, and sometimes complex, inner workings of church life. The stories are real, heartfelt, and thought-provoking—offering readers a genuine look into the spiritual and organizational dynamics of the church.

Written with clarity and coherence, the book balances accessibility with depth. While it includes occasional elevated vocabulary, the language remains reader-friendly and engaging. It is especially valuable for those with a keen interest in church order, structure, and governance, yet it remains meaningful to any reader seeking truth, insight, and spiritual reflection.

[Anoop Balachandran · Rating 3 out of 5]

'Amen' is a very one sided narration of some of the experiences that led sister jesme to finally quit the convent and sisterhood. The setbacks in her career seems to be motivated exclusively by jealousy on the part her colleagues. But what motivated the jealousy is not clear. The antagonists of this tale are not well sketched out and remain hazy and confusing. Maybe that is kept deliberately so.
I wish there was a counter narrative to this book by someone to render a more balanced view on the events .
Even With its flaws amen is a must read for the sheer grit on part of the author who with this effort has given a voice to the prisoners of religious institutions around the world.