Crap Lyrics: A celebration of the very worst pop lyrics of all time… EVER!

by Johnny Sharp

Songwriters often don't seem to bother with the basic laws of the English language. Bob Dylan is famous for "Blowing in the Wind" but less known for his quite original line "wiggle, wiggle, like a bowl of soup;" Duran Duran sang "you're about as easy as a nuclear war" in "Is There Something I Should Know," and Spandau Ballet even named a song "Instinction," which is in fact not a real word. The airwaves are crammed with terrible titles and nonsensical lyrics, and this hilarious compendium catalogs and identifies the very worst offenders.

Genres: Music, Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Pop Culture

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Steph · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure why I read this. It came up in Scribd I think and it seemed interesting? It wasn't very good and I finished it only because I've had three DNF this year already and I hate that. I gave it two stars instead of one because sometimes it was funny.

[Bill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Abso-bloody-lutely hilarious. If you've ever listened to a song and thought this is a really crap lyric, then check this out.

It does contain my favourite crap lyric, taken from Thin Lizzy's 'Jailbreak'; "Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak somewhere in this town" Well presumably at the jail! Duh!

Have a laugh and read this wonderfully funny book

[Amelia Barnard · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a songwriter myself, I still managed to have a giggle to myself. Sharp has a very British sense of humour: sarcastic, dry and sometimes dark.

However, and I know this is down to my age (I’m 24), there were some references that I didn’t get, or some of the songs I hadn’t heard of. So this hindered my experience with the book slightly.

I would also suggest reading this in bite size chunks, as if you sit and read in long stints, the writing loses its “affect”, if that makes sense?

Not a bad book though

[Graham Clayton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Johnny Sharp lists some of the worst couplets, some blatant innuendo, mixed metaphors and other examples of songwriters just giving up the ghost when they came to write the words. Amusing, especially when you listen to the song immediately afterwards.

[Theresa F. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I knew going in that there was a strong chance I wouldn't agree with all of the author's selections. But what really bothered me about the book was the author's approach. His criteria for determining a bad lyric was to pick it apart to see if it made literal sense, even in cases where the lyrics were meant to be figurative or symbolic. It annoyed me that the author was taking things out of context. I think the problem was I started the book with the wrong mindset. I expected a book about music, but this book is primarily a work of humor. The music just provides an excuse to make jokes.
Also the book was first published in the United Kingdom, and the author uses a lot of presumably British references and slang terms that I, being American, wasn't familiar with. Generally I was able to get an idea what the author meant from the context, but not always.
Did I like it? Not really. It wasn't what I was expecting.
Would I reread it? No.
Would I recommend it? Depends on the reader.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes a pop song lyric will wonderfully capture a feeling shared by many people and sometimes it’ll leave you wondering what the lyricist was thinking. This book is about the second category. Some of the crap lyrics in this book are the result of lazy rhyming, some are too baffling to explain, but all are amusing. Some of the lyrics belong to a time when we had different values. The chapter of bad euphemisms was a favourite chapter for me. A lot of the songs in this book are good songs overall, with just the one dodgy lyric so this book can also remind you of some great music. It’s a book of gently poking fun, nothing mean.

[Danae · Rating 2 out of 5]

Un libro adecuado que se lee en un rato corto. Es interesante poner atención a las letras de una canción y está bueno abordar aquello desde la infinita tontera de tanto compositor de música popular. Evidentemente esto está tratado de manera muy superficial pero resulta divertido de todas formas.

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious.

[Lieke · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an entertaining book, but not as funny as I imagined it to be.

[Margot · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was incredibly funny most of the times, but repeated itself a lot, which got a bit annoying at times

[Brian Carney · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's one to dip in and out of, but very amusing in places

[David · Rating 1 out of 5]

Crap book. I had high hopes of being entertained, but this was not even remotely funny.

[Jonathan Hartley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth the money for the job he does on Bono's claptrap alone.