What do you think?
Rate this book
All You Need to Be Impossibly French: A Witty Investigation into the Lives, Lusts, and Little Secrets of French Women
The allure of the Frenchwoman--sexy, sophisticated, flirtatious, and glamorous--is legendary. More than an eye for fashion or a taste for elegance, the French je ne sais quoi embodies the essential ingredients for looking and feeling beautiful.
With wit, whimsy, and wonder, British expatriate Helena Frith Powell uncovers the secrets of chic living in All You Need to Be Impossibly French, a cheeky guide to releasing your inner Frenchwoman. Delving deep into a mysterious realm of face creams, silk lingerie, and shopping-as-exercise, Powell reveals how French women stay impossibly thin and irresistibly sexy by achieving the maximum effect from the minimum amount of effort. Forget diet and inspiration books and style guides--this is all you need to embrace the wisdom of French living, and learn how to turn every day into la petite aventure.
With wit, whimsy, and wonder, British expatriate Helena Frith Powell uncovers the secrets of chic living in All You Need to Be Impossibly French, a cheeky guide to releasing your inner Frenchwoman. Delving deep into a mysterious realm of face creams, silk lingerie, and shopping-as-exercise, Powell reveals how French women stay impossibly thin and irresistibly sexy by achieving the maximum effect from the minimum amount of effort. Forget diet and inspiration books and style guides--this is all you need to embrace the wisdom of French living, and learn how to turn every day into la petite aventure.
234 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2005
110 people are currently reading
3053 people want to read
About the author
Helena Frith Powell
25 books32 followersHelena Frith Powell used to write the French Mistress column in The Sunday Times about living in France. She has also been a regular contributor to the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, Daily Telegraph, the Sunday Telegraph, Tatler Magazine and Harper’s Bazaar.
Helena is the author of More France Please, we’re British, a book published in November 2004 by Gibson Square Books about her experiences in France. She is also the author of a book about French women called Two Lipsticks and a Lover published in October 2005 by Gibson Square Books. The paperback was published by Penguin in the US in December 2006 under the title All You Need to be Impossibly French. The paperback in the UK was published by Arrow in February 2007. It was also published in Russia, Thailand and China during 2007. It was published in France in March 2008 under the title So Chic! Two Lipsticks was also translated into Russian, Chinese and Thai.
She is also the author of a memoir called Ciao Bella, published by Gibson Square in October 2006 and re-released in 2012. Her book about ageing called To Hell in High Heels was published by Arrow in April 2008, which has been translated into several languages.
Her diet book, The Viva Mayr Diet, was published by Harper Collins in May 2009. Her latest book is a novel set in France about the French art of having affairs called Love in a Warm Climate, which was published in March 2011 by Gibson Square.
Helena was educated at Durham University and lived in the Languedoc region of France for eight years. She now lives in Abu Dhabi with her husband Rupert and their three children Olivia, Bea and Leonardo. She is editorial director of a high-end fashion glossy called Masquerade magazine. Her latest novel, which is about first love and set in London, will be out in the spring of 2013.
Helena is the author of More France Please, we’re British, a book published in November 2004 by Gibson Square Books about her experiences in France. She is also the author of a book about French women called Two Lipsticks and a Lover published in October 2005 by Gibson Square Books. The paperback was published by Penguin in the US in December 2006 under the title All You Need to be Impossibly French. The paperback in the UK was published by Arrow in February 2007. It was also published in Russia, Thailand and China during 2007. It was published in France in March 2008 under the title So Chic! Two Lipsticks was also translated into Russian, Chinese and Thai.
She is also the author of a memoir called Ciao Bella, published by Gibson Square in October 2006 and re-released in 2012. Her book about ageing called To Hell in High Heels was published by Arrow in April 2008, which has been translated into several languages.
Her diet book, The Viva Mayr Diet, was published by Harper Collins in May 2009. Her latest book is a novel set in France about the French art of having affairs called Love in a Warm Climate, which was published in March 2011 by Gibson Square.
Helena was educated at Durham University and lived in the Languedoc region of France for eight years. She now lives in Abu Dhabi with her husband Rupert and their three children Olivia, Bea and Leonardo. She is editorial director of a high-end fashion glossy called Masquerade magazine. Her latest novel, which is about first love and set in London, will be out in the spring of 2013.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 166 reviews
April 14, 2009
Fluffity fluff fluff, but interesting since I've been going through a spate of Francophilia lately. I blame you, Julia Child!
Frith-Powell is a British expat living in France, and the book goes chapter by chapter through such guiltily fascinating topics as French style, French underwear, French skinniness, French bitchiness, and French adultery. I appreciated that it's not just a starry-eyed paean to the all-consuming awesomeness of French women -- Frith-Powell points out that they're tightly wound, hard on their kids, obsessed with their looks, and suspicious (rightly so!) of other women to the point where they have few female friends. They also spend a ton on quacky cellulite reducers and slimming creams.
By its nature, this type of book is full of sweeping generalizations, many of which contradict each other -- are they formally dressed at all times, or do they frequent "jeans boutiques"? She would have it both ways. It's all pretty superficial and largely based on interviews with women in positions of power or in the fashion industry, so Frith-Powell may have come away a tad overimpressed with the quality and quantity of the average Parisian's wardrobe.
I read it in an afternoon, and it was a nice little bonbon for that purpose. It did, however, leave me wanting $500 underwear, so buyer beware.
Frith-Powell is a British expat living in France, and the book goes chapter by chapter through such guiltily fascinating topics as French style, French underwear, French skinniness, French bitchiness, and French adultery. I appreciated that it's not just a starry-eyed paean to the all-consuming awesomeness of French women -- Frith-Powell points out that they're tightly wound, hard on their kids, obsessed with their looks, and suspicious (rightly so!) of other women to the point where they have few female friends. They also spend a ton on quacky cellulite reducers and slimming creams.
By its nature, this type of book is full of sweeping generalizations, many of which contradict each other -- are they formally dressed at all times, or do they frequent "jeans boutiques"? She would have it both ways. It's all pretty superficial and largely based on interviews with women in positions of power or in the fashion industry, so Frith-Powell may have come away a tad overimpressed with the quality and quantity of the average Parisian's wardrobe.
I read it in an afternoon, and it was a nice little bonbon for that purpose. It did, however, leave me wanting $500 underwear, so buyer beware.
June 9, 2009
Sooo... French women never wear sneakers, will always sleep with someone's husband, are thin because they NEVER eat junk food, and oh! there's more! Thanks, Helena!
I picked up this book because I'm going to France and thought it'd be interesting to see what the culture is like, but I have a hard time believing the author's account is accurate. These are some wild things to assume about an entire country full of different people. I'm more inclined to think that French women are pretty much like British and American women. All around the world, people are competitive, eat junk food and wear sneakers. The European lifestyle is different, it is. But it's not like French women are some alien race who work so hard to be perfect that they cannot enjoy themselves and are no fun to hang out with. (Which is exactly what she says.) And while she is pretty critical about French women, she brags about being able to be just like them after living amongst them, claiming she has lost weight, always wears matching underwear, and is way sexier. She also laments how she didn't speak French when she gave birth to her son because she was unable to yell at the other women in the hospital for not breastfeeding their babies. I always love a good Breastfeeding Nazi. Arent' enough of those.
The book was slightly amusing, though. I read the whole thing. And I think, if I take everything the author says down ten or twelve notches, I can get a faint idea of what it is like to be a French woman.
I want my upcoming trip to be incredibly stereotypical, anyway: I'm going to wear scarves around my neck and gnaw at a baguette the whole time whilst riding a bicycle around. And I'm going to start smoking. So the over-exaggerations are humorous and in the end, I welcome them.
I picked up this book because I'm going to France and thought it'd be interesting to see what the culture is like, but I have a hard time believing the author's account is accurate. These are some wild things to assume about an entire country full of different people. I'm more inclined to think that French women are pretty much like British and American women. All around the world, people are competitive, eat junk food and wear sneakers. The European lifestyle is different, it is. But it's not like French women are some alien race who work so hard to be perfect that they cannot enjoy themselves and are no fun to hang out with. (Which is exactly what she says.) And while she is pretty critical about French women, she brags about being able to be just like them after living amongst them, claiming she has lost weight, always wears matching underwear, and is way sexier. She also laments how she didn't speak French when she gave birth to her son because she was unable to yell at the other women in the hospital for not breastfeeding their babies. I always love a good Breastfeeding Nazi. Arent' enough of those.
The book was slightly amusing, though. I read the whole thing. And I think, if I take everything the author says down ten or twelve notches, I can get a faint idea of what it is like to be a French woman.
I want my upcoming trip to be incredibly stereotypical, anyway: I'm going to wear scarves around my neck and gnaw at a baguette the whole time whilst riding a bicycle around. And I'm going to start smoking. So the over-exaggerations are humorous and in the end, I welcome them.
October 7, 2008
Super quick read that gives you bit of insight into the "je ne sais quoi" allure of French women. They're sexy, they're skinny, they're unfaithful (as are the men), they spend gobs of euros on cellulite-reducing cremes and matching lingerie, they overly discipline their children, and the list goes on. Having lived in France and knowing several French women, I'd say the generalizations are basically true -- I've never seen so many lingerie shops in my life as I have in France. They are skinny, and they wear a scarf like nobody's business. And yes, they can be a bit too serious and yes, they tend to avoid other women as friends (because your female friends all want to sleep with your husband, n'est-ce pas?). Mais (but), the book is a very superficial survey and doesn't delve into the psyche of French women, nor the environment/history that drives them to be this way. The author tries out the methods francais and comes to realize that basically you take what you want and leave what you don't want (want = the skinniness, sexiness, intellectualism, the scarf; don't want = the infidelity).
December 14, 2007
I wish i had read this book BEFORE Paris!
This book explains why French women are:
1)...so thin (they control portion size and move all of the time, but never workout unless sex is considered an aerobic activity.)
2)...willing to spend a months salary on lingere (sexy first, even under a t-shirt with jeans... that which lies closest to the skin is what makes a woman feminine)
3)...not big on having girlfriends (they inevitably seduce their husbands)
4)...sleep on their backs (side sleeping causes wrinkles)
5)...don't breast feed ('a womans breasts are for her lover')
6)...never caught dead in white tennis shoes (because that is the sure sign of an American.)
While, some of these points are (in my opinion) CRAZY...
The day after reading the book, i put on my hottest underwear, blew dried my hair with extra effort, took an extra 30 minutes on my skin care regimen and left my nike's in favor of black boots for the grocery store. My husband noticed, and i did feel younger, sexier and more confident.
A fun read.
This book explains why French women are:
1)...so thin (they control portion size and move all of the time, but never workout unless sex is considered an aerobic activity.)
2)...willing to spend a months salary on lingere (sexy first, even under a t-shirt with jeans... that which lies closest to the skin is what makes a woman feminine)
3)...not big on having girlfriends (they inevitably seduce their husbands)
4)...sleep on their backs (side sleeping causes wrinkles)
5)...don't breast feed ('a womans breasts are for her lover')
6)...never caught dead in white tennis shoes (because that is the sure sign of an American.)
While, some of these points are (in my opinion) CRAZY...
The day after reading the book, i put on my hottest underwear, blew dried my hair with extra effort, took an extra 30 minutes on my skin care regimen and left my nike's in favor of black boots for the grocery store. My husband noticed, and i did feel younger, sexier and more confident.
A fun read.
June 26, 2022
She lives in France and spends a lot of time interviewing French models, pols, magazine editors, etc. Sounds like being a very upper-class French woman is like being a teen with an eating disorder -- constantly worrying about your looks while also trying to be an A student (knowing all the latest intellectual hubbub). AND one has to undercut other women (so one can only be comfortable within one's own nuclear family) AND look for opportunities to have affairs. Sounds neurotic and awful. Bleh.
Discussed this with my sister, who has been married to a Frenchman for 30 years and is fluent in the language and the culture. Her response: "OMG, NO! It is not like that at all!" To be fair, I don't know how a book created by interviewing US models, pols, magazine editors, etc., would come out. Perhaps there is a Universal Class of Frighteningly Image-Conscious Women who are like this. Luckily for me, I'll never be part of it.
Discussed this with my sister, who has been married to a Frenchman for 30 years and is fluent in the language and the culture. Her response: "OMG, NO! It is not like that at all!" To be fair, I don't know how a book created by interviewing US models, pols, magazine editors, etc., would come out. Perhaps there is a Universal Class of Frighteningly Image-Conscious Women who are like this. Luckily for me, I'll never be part of it.
July 14, 2016
I suppose it was my own fault for picking up a book instructing me on how to "unlock my inner french woman" in the first place, but I have to say I was nonetheless unsettled by the backwardness of this supposedly 'modern tutorial' on French chic. British journo Helena Frith Powell interviews every living french icon from the french prime minister to the current big wigs at Chanel in order to find out the secrets of French style.
The result was a disappointing mass of contradictions ultimately rooted in unprogressive ideals of feminine beauty that seemed to belong to the 1950s rather than the 21st century.
While I agreed with Powell's conclusions that less is more as far as showing skin is concerned and aging gracefully is much more attractive than a face full of botox, these ideals of French chic stemmed from a place no different to the undesirable American and British tarts Powell condemns; ultimately, it's all about dressing for the man.
Despite the books initial claims that French women dress for themselves rather than 'for men', Powell goes on to systematically undermine this in each chapter, from an exploration of French women's obsession with matching underwear to an expose on the inordinate amounts of money they spend on beauty products. Powell sums it up wonderfully in page 272 when she says "I like the idea of being attractive to him, it's what motivates me to look after myself." I don't think I could come up with a more unprogressive motivation if I tried.
Chapter ten, entitled "Text Appeal" was both the most interesting and disturbing part of the book. Powell states that "Whereas in England it is embarrassing to be intellectual, in France it is essential."
While this might be accurate, I couldn't believe the thrust of the following pages, which claimed things such as "French women see intellectual rigor almost as important as their beauty regime. It is not enough to look good to be seductive, you have to be cultured as well."
Going on to describe several iconic french intellectual women such as Collete, Simone de Beauvoir and Louise de Vilmorin, Powell continuously stresses their intelligence as an essential part of their attractiveness - as though the sole purpose of a woman having any intellect is to attract a man. I can't resist listing a few of the gems the chapter was imbued with:
"A woman is sexy only if she is intelligent"
"Men are attracted by a certain intellectual level."
"To seduce a man, you need to be able to make him laugh, entertain him and keep him interested."
I couldn't help but wonder what Simone de Beauvoir would have thought of her intellect and academic work being described merely to a tool for seducing men. Apparently for Powell, intelligence is just another item in the make-up bag of the French woman, who only bother about it because it's culturally fashionable and necessary if one wants to get laid.
In her Epilogue, Powell writes "I love the french Chic, I think it's great that they put lip gloss on to put the rubbish out and that they care obsessively about the way they look. It's a sign of civilisation, a sign of respect for yourself and others." I had to read the second sentence twice, and then thought about what I would perhaps replace it with. I think it would go something along the lines of "It's a sign that despite their supposed intelligence and sophistication, French women are really no more free from patriarchal enslavement and objectification than their sluttier looking British counterparts."
In the last pages of the book, Powell instructs the wanna-be French chic that they need more than "two lipsticks and a lover" to succeed in French culture. She goes on to list (in this order):
1. An iron will to resist and (edible) temptation that comes your way.
2. Time and Money to spend on your beauty regime
3. An excellent hairdresser and manicurist
4. Making your body, face and style a priority.
"And then", she writes, "You are ready to start reading Colette and Proust."
Case in point.
The result was a disappointing mass of contradictions ultimately rooted in unprogressive ideals of feminine beauty that seemed to belong to the 1950s rather than the 21st century.
While I agreed with Powell's conclusions that less is more as far as showing skin is concerned and aging gracefully is much more attractive than a face full of botox, these ideals of French chic stemmed from a place no different to the undesirable American and British tarts Powell condemns; ultimately, it's all about dressing for the man.
Despite the books initial claims that French women dress for themselves rather than 'for men', Powell goes on to systematically undermine this in each chapter, from an exploration of French women's obsession with matching underwear to an expose on the inordinate amounts of money they spend on beauty products. Powell sums it up wonderfully in page 272 when she says "I like the idea of being attractive to him, it's what motivates me to look after myself." I don't think I could come up with a more unprogressive motivation if I tried.
Chapter ten, entitled "Text Appeal" was both the most interesting and disturbing part of the book. Powell states that "Whereas in England it is embarrassing to be intellectual, in France it is essential."
While this might be accurate, I couldn't believe the thrust of the following pages, which claimed things such as "French women see intellectual rigor almost as important as their beauty regime. It is not enough to look good to be seductive, you have to be cultured as well."
Going on to describe several iconic french intellectual women such as Collete, Simone de Beauvoir and Louise de Vilmorin, Powell continuously stresses their intelligence as an essential part of their attractiveness - as though the sole purpose of a woman having any intellect is to attract a man. I can't resist listing a few of the gems the chapter was imbued with:
"A woman is sexy only if she is intelligent"
"Men are attracted by a certain intellectual level."
"To seduce a man, you need to be able to make him laugh, entertain him and keep him interested."
I couldn't help but wonder what Simone de Beauvoir would have thought of her intellect and academic work being described merely to a tool for seducing men. Apparently for Powell, intelligence is just another item in the make-up bag of the French woman, who only bother about it because it's culturally fashionable and necessary if one wants to get laid.
In her Epilogue, Powell writes "I love the french Chic, I think it's great that they put lip gloss on to put the rubbish out and that they care obsessively about the way they look. It's a sign of civilisation, a sign of respect for yourself and others." I had to read the second sentence twice, and then thought about what I would perhaps replace it with. I think it would go something along the lines of "It's a sign that despite their supposed intelligence and sophistication, French women are really no more free from patriarchal enslavement and objectification than their sluttier looking British counterparts."
In the last pages of the book, Powell instructs the wanna-be French chic that they need more than "two lipsticks and a lover" to succeed in French culture. She goes on to list (in this order):
1. An iron will to resist and (edible) temptation that comes your way.
2. Time and Money to spend on your beauty regime
3. An excellent hairdresser and manicurist
4. Making your body, face and style a priority.
"And then", she writes, "You are ready to start reading Colette and Proust."
Case in point.
January 23, 2018
A very enjoyable and witty read about the women of Paris in particular and France in general. When we lived in Darmstadt, we used to go to Paris quite often as the drive was fairly short and my husband and I often remarked on how attractive women of all ages seemed as we watched them move about the streets. I hope it is still the same although I have read that they are also experiencing an increase in obesity rates. If so, that's a shame. Based on the chapters in the book, there's a lot more to looking so stylish than a pair of black slacks and a Hermes scarf! A lot of hard work and discipline is involved.
After finishing the book, I think I'm ready to buy two lipsticks, a boatload of matching, extremely expensive lingerie and toss out any tennis shoes I may still have in favor of dainty looking flats (heels at my age are a death sentence). A fun book!
After finishing the book, I think I'm ready to buy two lipsticks, a boatload of matching, extremely expensive lingerie and toss out any tennis shoes I may still have in favor of dainty looking flats (heels at my age are a death sentence). A fun book!
March 26, 2022
I know that a Rocky Mountain "desert rat" like myself is never really going to be "impossibly French," no matter how well I speak the language, how many times I go to France, or how hard I try. Nevertheless, this is a fun book that might help all of us come just a little closer to that indescribable French mystque. Some of my favorite quotes from Frith-Powell:
"French women can make the plainest, simplest outfit look smashing on her while it looks ordinary on anyone else" (6). Powell claims that an English woman and French woman can wear a pair of identical jeans, a white T-shirt and a pair of loafers and , for "some inexplicable reason the French woman will manage to carry off the outfit better and look more attractive.’”
38 think French women have being beautiful absolutely born into them. They think they’re beautiful even when they’re not, so they have a sort of extraordinary arrogance while excludes a rather strange sort of confidence that is often misplaced. We Anglo-Saxons come with a lot more humility, a lot more fun and lot more humor"
43 For me, if you’re a beautiful woman, you have to start with beautiful underwear.
45 You have to remember that for French women underwear is the key to their self confidence.
59 French men love women of any age. . . .
112 French women don’t do what they don’t feel like doing; say what they think . . . an honest that Brits or Americans would find rude. French girls don’t hang out
121 French women don’t take working/careers as seriously.
122 For work, it’s one holiday period after another.
123 Brits and Yanks are defined by our jobs; U.S. work ethic is all-encompassing; Many French women have no work ethic at all.
139 Ask any French woman if they would consider childbirth without drugs and they look at your as if you just suggested they give up baguettes or nail varnish. "Why?"; is the most common response. "Are you mad?" often follows.
145 French moms are horrified at fast-food fare for their children.
146 “In France, mealtimes are sacred.”
148 The whole country stops at 12 o’clock so the French enjoy joy the sacred hour of the déjeuner.
149 “The French are much more inclusive of children as a rule. They put up with them being around more than the English do.”
150 “Tony, a friend who has lived here for fifteen years, says one of the most amazing things he has ever seen is his teenage daughter getting on a school bus and kissing everyone on it as she makes her way to her seat. When we go to dinner with French friends here, their children (even if they have never met us) will come up and kiss us hello. It all seems incredibly civilized.”
158 French women are at least 10 kilos [or 22 pounds:] thinner than English and American women.
163 “Essentially it means choosing fish above red meat, olive oil at every given opportunity, and having at least two glasses of red win a day. . . A lot of the chic Parisians I meet tell me t hey never snack.”
164 Increasing weight in French people is a result of American fast food influence. Non-smoking areas were ignored in French restaurants. 179 People on the metro read good books.
180 Even porno films have the intellectual element.. . . seeing the orgasm as spiritual.
182 A word about French films—lots of talk, not much plot, random action.
183 There is an expression in France, avoir du chien. It means to be sexy, attractive, and brainy.
217 The French still see Brits and Yanks as bumpkins. “The French still believe we Brits and Americans have no idea how to look good. They see us as amusing but rather inept when it comes to putting on a dress."
"French women can make the plainest, simplest outfit look smashing on her while it looks ordinary on anyone else" (6). Powell claims that an English woman and French woman can wear a pair of identical jeans, a white T-shirt and a pair of loafers and , for "some inexplicable reason the French woman will manage to carry off the outfit better and look more attractive.’”
38 think French women have being beautiful absolutely born into them. They think they’re beautiful even when they’re not, so they have a sort of extraordinary arrogance while excludes a rather strange sort of confidence that is often misplaced. We Anglo-Saxons come with a lot more humility, a lot more fun and lot more humor"
43 For me, if you’re a beautiful woman, you have to start with beautiful underwear.
45 You have to remember that for French women underwear is the key to their self confidence.
59 French men love women of any age. . . .
112 French women don’t do what they don’t feel like doing; say what they think . . . an honest that Brits or Americans would find rude. French girls don’t hang out
121 French women don’t take working/careers as seriously.
122 For work, it’s one holiday period after another.
123 Brits and Yanks are defined by our jobs; U.S. work ethic is all-encompassing; Many French women have no work ethic at all.
139 Ask any French woman if they would consider childbirth without drugs and they look at your as if you just suggested they give up baguettes or nail varnish. "Why?"; is the most common response. "Are you mad?" often follows.
145 French moms are horrified at fast-food fare for their children.
146 “In France, mealtimes are sacred.”
148 The whole country stops at 12 o’clock so the French enjoy joy the sacred hour of the déjeuner.
149 “The French are much more inclusive of children as a rule. They put up with them being around more than the English do.”
150 “Tony, a friend who has lived here for fifteen years, says one of the most amazing things he has ever seen is his teenage daughter getting on a school bus and kissing everyone on it as she makes her way to her seat. When we go to dinner with French friends here, their children (even if they have never met us) will come up and kiss us hello. It all seems incredibly civilized.”
158 French women are at least 10 kilos [or 22 pounds:] thinner than English and American women.
163 “Essentially it means choosing fish above red meat, olive oil at every given opportunity, and having at least two glasses of red win a day. . . A lot of the chic Parisians I meet tell me t hey never snack.”
164 Increasing weight in French people is a result of American fast food influence. Non-smoking areas were ignored in French restaurants. 179 People on the metro read good books.
180 Even porno films have the intellectual element.. . . seeing the orgasm as spiritual.
182 A word about French films—lots of talk, not much plot, random action.
183 There is an expression in France, avoir du chien. It means to be sexy, attractive, and brainy.
217 The French still see Brits and Yanks as bumpkins. “The French still believe we Brits and Americans have no idea how to look good. They see us as amusing but rather inept when it comes to putting on a dress."
January 18, 2009
Nothing amazing - but a quick read useful for reminding me that lingerie, creams, and books are essentials. The author is British and lives in Paris - what I found most interesting was her own transformation and her wondering if it was more subconscious or conscious. There were things she just suddenly started doing. Manicures, matching underwear, etc. As she looked more and more into the 'secrets of french women' for her book.
I didn't find the book incredibly witty. In fact, she was at times holier-than-thou with regards to some French traits (children, child rearing, and working most notably). And that is what leads to two stars here. The title is incredibly incorrect for this book. "Entre Nous" by Debra Ollivier felt much more to be about how to embrace those aspects that one admires in French women in your own life. Less like a criticism or discovery of why they do what they do. I did really enjoy her chapter on 'Text Appeal' and the importance of literature as well as the French heroines (both of fiction and authors) that they have. Comparing George Sand and Colette to Emily Bronte and Jane Austen is a laugh and a real (although caricature of both cultures) example of what we think of as the history of these women.
She quotes Edith Wharton in the book - and it is a divine expression of what I think of when I seek to bring more of 'my inner french woman' out: "The French are persuaded that the enjoyment of beauty and the exercise of critical intelligence are two of the best things worth living for" (pg 184).
At the end, she does some up her discovery well: "I am going to take what is useful from their way of life (and there is a lot) but stay fundamentally English. If this means drinking a bit too much Chardonnay at times or not having perfect nails three hundred and sixty five days a year, so be it. / My husband says the key is to 'keep your sense of humour but still be able to fit into your trousers.' Sounds like a good plan to me. / And obviously I'll be wearing garters and matching underwear underneath." (pg 219)
I just wish that her book was more like 'Entre Nous' and focused on how we can cull from ourselves what we (at least some of us) admire in French women. Without so much of the critique.
I didn't find the book incredibly witty. In fact, she was at times holier-than-thou with regards to some French traits (children, child rearing, and working most notably). And that is what leads to two stars here. The title is incredibly incorrect for this book. "Entre Nous" by Debra Ollivier felt much more to be about how to embrace those aspects that one admires in French women in your own life. Less like a criticism or discovery of why they do what they do. I did really enjoy her chapter on 'Text Appeal' and the importance of literature as well as the French heroines (both of fiction and authors) that they have. Comparing George Sand and Colette to Emily Bronte and Jane Austen is a laugh and a real (although caricature of both cultures) example of what we think of as the history of these women.
She quotes Edith Wharton in the book - and it is a divine expression of what I think of when I seek to bring more of 'my inner french woman' out: "The French are persuaded that the enjoyment of beauty and the exercise of critical intelligence are two of the best things worth living for" (pg 184).
At the end, she does some up her discovery well: "I am going to take what is useful from their way of life (and there is a lot) but stay fundamentally English. If this means drinking a bit too much Chardonnay at times or not having perfect nails three hundred and sixty five days a year, so be it. / My husband says the key is to 'keep your sense of humour but still be able to fit into your trousers.' Sounds like a good plan to me. / And obviously I'll be wearing garters and matching underwear underneath." (pg 219)
I just wish that her book was more like 'Entre Nous' and focused on how we can cull from ourselves what we (at least some of us) admire in French women. Without so much of the critique.
December 6, 2008
If you want to be paranoid about wrinkles and not owning fancy lingerie this book is for you.
October 15, 2010
"Unlock your inner French woman...". How do they look so sleek, so glamorous, so slim, wearing such gorgeous clothes, with such beautiful hair,and such immaculate faces? And all those temptations-delicious wines, oh-so-tasty cheese, that crusty, soft bread???? Why can't us Anglo-Saxon women have such style, look so effortlessly good?
Well, let me tell you, it takes effort, and plenty of it. Ms Powell moved from England to France with her husband and immediately felt like a frump. So in the process of discovering her inner French woman she interviewed and spent time with many beautiful French women to discover what really goes on. In short a lot of money is spent, a lot of time is expended, eating habits are abnormal, having girlfriends means competition - for men, having a career is not encouraged, having babies is really a bit of drag and terribly unsexy. But on the upside, women of all ages are adored and respected by men, they are encouraged to be intellectual, to think and to express opinions, and to take lovers. These are the things Ms Powell discovered in her research and what she wrote her book about.
As an exercise in self-discovery it is fairly light hearted, and she does manage to find her inner French womanliness! But I really did have a problem believing that ALL French women lived their lives like this. The women she interviewed all seemed to have lots of money, lots of time, were high profile either as society women, fashion shop owners, ex-models, actresses, successful career women and so on - women who are expected to look and be fabulous all the time.
As an aside I googled 'French Women Images' and came up with pages and pages of gorgeous beautiful women until I got to page 9, and there was a fat French woman which took me to an article in the Daily Mirror 19/09/2006 called 'Myth of Thin French Women Exposed' claiming that a third of French women are overweight. How beautifully refreshing I thought. They are normal after all!! Time for a glass of wine and some gooey cheese on a thick piece of crusty white bread. Or maybe a croissant...
Well, let me tell you, it takes effort, and plenty of it. Ms Powell moved from England to France with her husband and immediately felt like a frump. So in the process of discovering her inner French woman she interviewed and spent time with many beautiful French women to discover what really goes on. In short a lot of money is spent, a lot of time is expended, eating habits are abnormal, having girlfriends means competition - for men, having a career is not encouraged, having babies is really a bit of drag and terribly unsexy. But on the upside, women of all ages are adored and respected by men, they are encouraged to be intellectual, to think and to express opinions, and to take lovers. These are the things Ms Powell discovered in her research and what she wrote her book about.
As an exercise in self-discovery it is fairly light hearted, and she does manage to find her inner French womanliness! But I really did have a problem believing that ALL French women lived their lives like this. The women she interviewed all seemed to have lots of money, lots of time, were high profile either as society women, fashion shop owners, ex-models, actresses, successful career women and so on - women who are expected to look and be fabulous all the time.
As an aside I googled 'French Women Images' and came up with pages and pages of gorgeous beautiful women until I got to page 9, and there was a fat French woman which took me to an article in the Daily Mirror 19/09/2006 called 'Myth of Thin French Women Exposed' claiming that a third of French women are overweight. How beautifully refreshing I thought. They are normal after all!! Time for a glass of wine and some gooey cheese on a thick piece of crusty white bread. Or maybe a croissant...
September 28, 2017
"Witty" isn't quite the right word for this one. It tries to be witty--oh, does it try--but the result is a collection of overly simplistic, black and white statements about A. women in general; B. men in general; C. British and American women; D. French women; that do not allow much room for complexity in any of those groups. I was hoping for a nuanced look at a modern western culture from an ex-pat's point of view. What I got was a lot of talk about sophistication being rooted in "the French DNA," and the relative merits of French/American/British women and men. (Because, you know, each of those groups is a monolith, with no variation or individuality between its members). Even more baffling was the frequency with which contradicting determinist statements were made about the same group. (Cognitive dissonance given shape and form). As a result, attempts at humor or relate- ability come off tone- deaf at best, reductive and sexist at worst.
Besides all that, my inner editor was crying foul throughout the reading process. Awkward sentence structure and shoddy line editing made it difficult, at times, to follow the authors' stream of thought. There is some interesting background on the history of French fashion and literature, near the end of the book. Even so, if you are looking for a thoughtful, nuanced look at living in France as an Anglo-Saxon ex-patriot, I would suggest "The Arrogance of the French," by American journalist Richard Chesnoff over this offering.
Besides all that, my inner editor was crying foul throughout the reading process. Awkward sentence structure and shoddy line editing made it difficult, at times, to follow the authors' stream of thought. There is some interesting background on the history of French fashion and literature, near the end of the book. Even so, if you are looking for a thoughtful, nuanced look at living in France as an Anglo-Saxon ex-patriot, I would suggest "The Arrogance of the French," by American journalist Richard Chesnoff over this offering.
January 3, 2017
Easy reading, but just hilarious. Nice book to pass time with.
September 7, 2021
Moving to the US Midwest has made me crave all things European. Maybe it's the frankenfoods I see on the shelves of supermarkets, or the depressing soulless malls with samey polyester goods at every store and frankly terrible coffee, and the pervasiveness of plastic cutlery... And during The Plague, my options to go out and do things are also quite limited, adding to the frustration. This book provided a welcome reprieve. I'm glad that the author wasn't afraid of articulating the negatives as well as the positives of the French culture and lifestyle, and went beyond the surface observations. Sure, French women are mostly chic and elegant but it comes at a cost. Of all the French chic themed books I've read, I think this one presents the most realistic and balanced view on the topic. An easy and pleasant read.
July 4, 2019
I can't help but wonder how much of Powell's observations are to be relied upon. Some of the content seemed to be self-contradictory (though, perhaps so is the culture itself). Some of the content seemed to conform so well to stereotype, that it appears more as a caricature than a portrayal of reality (but, reputations do tend have their origins).
I felt that Powell's examination of the French seems quite surface-level, looking at the French as though they were aliens on exhibition rather than human beings with whom one has an innate ability to empathize. It also felt as though she was seeing magnifications of her own insecurities (she seems obsessed with thinness and appearance) and examined the French through her particularly narrow lens. I believe there must be more to being French than food, sex and fashion -- the author just neglected these other aspects.
Not that I expected this book to be deeper though.
All in all, not too life-enhancing, but somewhat insightful and worth a read for those who are curious of a British expat's experience in France.
I felt that Powell's examination of the French seems quite surface-level, looking at the French as though they were aliens on exhibition rather than human beings with whom one has an innate ability to empathize. It also felt as though she was seeing magnifications of her own insecurities (she seems obsessed with thinness and appearance) and examined the French through her particularly narrow lens. I believe there must be more to being French than food, sex and fashion -- the author just neglected these other aspects.
Not that I expected this book to be deeper though.
All in all, not too life-enhancing, but somewhat insightful and worth a read for those who are curious of a British expat's experience in France.
May 9, 2008
Someone at the library gave me this book to see if Mich would be interested in it, so I brought it home. It's non-fiction, so of course she didn't want it. For some reason, I picked it up and started reading it yesterday, and found it interesting. It's definitely written for a female audience, but from the perspective of an British woman living in France, trying to figure out how French women are so relentlessly stylish. I liked it for the same reason that i like a lot of ex-pat literature - it's the story of someone trying to understand and fit into another culture. And the culture is what it came down to - the reason that French women have that certain air about them is that it is valued and supported by the whole culture, from the availability of beauty pharmaceuticals to government support of working mothers to French social values and mores. Well-written and a great glimpse inside another culture.
March 19, 2017
Helena Frith Powell moved from London to the south of France a few years ago and decided to try to understand why French women are the way they are -- chic, slender, flirtatious, cocky, certain (or stubborn), proud. Her discoveries are both insightful and very funny, historically grounded, culturally informed. Interviews galore--including Sophie Sarkozy and Segolene Royal, and people who still work at Chanel (the last bastion of haute couture on the planet). It seems at first like a light read, but it turns more serious later. The examination of women's role models--they have Simone de Beauvoir and Georges Sand, we have ...? -- point to an interesting requirement among French women: you can't be sexy if you're not smart.
August 26, 2013
This was a fast, easy read. I enjoyed some of the peeks into French culture, and I even picked up a few tips and things I intend to try out. But some parts of the book made me uncomfortable - like the author's brief flirtation with a married man while she's married herself, and the fact that she toyed with the idea of an adulterous relationship. Yes, I realize this is very "French" of her, but it still didn't sit well with my (very Canadian) morals. Aside from that, I found the book pretty fluffy - which I guess it was meant to be. I would have liked to learn more about the women she interviewed, what they really thought about the pressure to be perfect all the time and the incessant competition with other women.
September 4, 2019
Quick and cute! A cheeky anthropological study into the lives and lusts of a small subset of French women. Written in 2006, it was also a fun time capsule: Powell talks to Anne Hidalgo, then the second-in-command at the Paris mayor's office, now mayor; Ségolène Royal, then-partner of François Hollande and touted as a future presidential candidate, but who just a year later would lose to Nicolas Sarkozy, who would then lose in 2012 to her former partner Hollande; and Sophie Sarkozy, future first lady of France.
There was an entire section on how French women wouldn't be caught dead in sneakers, which I wish I could ask Powell about now that every single Parisien man, woman and child are wearing Adidas Stan Smiths. I bet she never saw that one coming!
There was an entire section on how French women wouldn't be caught dead in sneakers, which I wish I could ask Powell about now that every single Parisien man, woman and child are wearing Adidas Stan Smiths. I bet she never saw that one coming!
June 26, 2011
An easy fluffy read, but that was just why I chose it. The usual exhortations to eat well, dress nicely, wear makeup and perfume and tend to other aspects of your personal grooming . What made this book a little different from others were the last chapters on marriage and fidelity and the one on intellectualism. I agree with other critiques that the author is only interested in rich French women. I would like to see the same formula in this book applied to other cultures; Africa, Brazil, Japan. It would be fascinating.
The book did get me wearing makeup and perfume again, however.
The book did get me wearing makeup and perfume again, however.
July 2, 2017
I found this book to be irritating and highly insulting. I lived in France, in Paris and outside, and didn't find any of this to be the norm. One would expect from reading this book to find that all French women are chain smokers, unfaithful, ridiculously thin, and completely obsessed with fashion. Some of them probably are, but I met a ton of INDIVIDUALS, just like one would anywhere else. It's not fair to categorize an entire nation based on a few examples. This book is definitely going into the donation pile.
August 4, 2008
This book was like the cheeky companion book to French Women for All Seasons. You learn all the dirt on the french ladies, but from an outsider's perspective. I am now determined to visit the shop described in Paris that has three floors of bras, panties and lingerie...can you imagine??? I would highly recommend if you are looking a little trip to France.
June 20, 2019
It’s a wonderful book that teaches about French customs (mostly amount women) and how the French aspire to reach a level of perfection in beauty and intelligence. Definitely took some notes.
December 28, 2011
“All you really need to be a French woman are two lipsticks and a lover; one lipstick for the day and the other for the evening, of course.” (A BOOK REPORT OF SPOILERS BELOW)
1. French Style. Style is life. French women are slim, incredibly pretty, elegant and sophisticated—always perfectly turned out—indefinable and alluringly chic. French women hate to be badly dressed, and by badly dressed they don’t just mean in bad taste but in the wrong outfit for the event. Another key to French style is restraint—they want to be casual looking but not like they put in much effort (effortlessly elegant)—they also want to keep it a little mysterious/subtle (seductive), not slutty. No sneakers. It is also not ok to dress slovenly—it’s like letting oneself go. You can dress down, but not slob out. Make an effort at all times and don’t skimp on the details. Accessories can turn an unremarkable outfit into something else. It’s also in how you carry yourself.
2. Zen Exercise. A fundamental attitude. Get it where you can, a little everyday—they don’t go for a lot of bouncing around. They move, but they don’t believe in sweating a lot. They go for a more serene form of exercise which is more elegant and, well, French. Shopping is exercise, and so is sex. Men can also be used as a “workout.” Walking, tennis, stretching (most important/essential) and cycling are good—maximum effect for the least amount of effort. Look on any opportunity to move as one not to be missed, there is no need to compartmentalize your day into times to exercise. Be aware of opportunities you have during the day to improve your fitness and take them. If you think about the ways your body looks and are aware of it, then you will work harder to improve it.
3. The Secret Weapon. Lingerie/Underwear. Daily. Matching. Pretty. It is fundamental to how you feel about yourself. If your underwear isn’t right, nothing else works. Underwear is the key to self-confidence and assurance. Very worth the expense. Beautiful underwear gives you something nothing else can. Your underwear can make or break you.
4. Never Mind the Botox. The key to aging is to look natural. Aging can make you quite beautiful—plastic surgery destroys the life you’ve lived (wrinkles and all). Too much make-up plastered on with unnatural hair dye is unacceptable. You can do these things, just don’t let the rest of the world know. Exfoliation is also crucial as are numerous creams and potions. Age has nothing to do with sexiness, attraction can transcend any age. A plus side to aging…older women are more passionate, easier to handle and are more fun to be with. Age with grace, take care of yourself—it is possible to be stunning until the day you die. Take pride in your appearance, look polished. Beauty is something to work on (habits)—protect oneself from the sun and eat well. Hang out with young people, but also appreciate your life and the wisdom that comes with age.
5. Indispensible Allies. The most beautiful make-up on a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy. Creams, potions, perfume…you can never have too many…each serve an essential and different purpose and mood. Cleanse well and everyday—crucial and fundamental. Looking good is of paramount importance to French women. Don’t take out the garbage without putting on lip gloss. Being well turned out should be a constant and is psychologically necessary. So are chic hats. A hat completes a look. If someone is badly dressed, the French will not take them seriously. Letting yourself go physically is seen as a sign that you cannot hold things together intellectually. Souci de soi = care for oneself, in every way. This means brains and looks, you can’t let yourself go and be intellectually rigorous. The French would sooner forgive an extra-marital affair than a bad haircut.
6. Le Rein du Beige. Love of clothes and fashion. A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off you. All clothes should fit you well and be age appropriate, feminine and sexy. A lot of French women’s elegance is in the attention to detail. You should always buy the most expensive bags and shoes you can, for they will finish an outfit. Scarves are also essential. Mix colors and materials. Coco Chanel’s impact on France cannot be overestimated. Fashion is deeply embedded in French culture, it is important to women as love. Fashion should be practiced every day in order to be kept up. Fashion is a skill but it doesn’t have to be an obsession.
7. Beyond One’s Control. There is kind of no such thing as a girlfriend for a French woman. The thing about French girlfriends is that sooner or later they end up sleeping with your husband or boyfriend. Most French women are insanely jealous, suspicious and competitive. One of the reasons they spend most of their time trying to look good is to stop their girlfriends seducing their husbands. There is much more rivalry and much less solidarity between women. In other countries it’s a given that you are not going to seduce your girlfriend’s husband, in France it’s assumed you are. Women are right to be anxious. The girlfriends do usually end up sleeping with their friend’s boyfriends. It just happens. Marital infidelity also happens mainly with people you are close to. The French don’t want to resist their instincts and passions; it’s not in their genetic make-up. The French have a weird, if rather charming attitude towards fidelity. Love or lust, excuses everything. (I think I’ll take the camaraderie of my American girlfriends instead of French girlfriends.)
8. Work and Careers. French women don’t have to choose between having a career and having a family. The French structure strongly supports child care. There is a state primary school where you can drop off your children from the age of two—free of charge. If you are a mother and you’re working you’re going to feel guilty wherever you are. Either in the office when the phone rings and there’s some problem at school, or at home when you feel you should be in the office. You just have to accept that you’re not going to be the perfect woman. Accept that you may not be the perfect mother, but that your children can’t find a better one and they’re very happy with you. Accept that things can be a bit messy. Accept that you not five different people at once and just relax a bit. Apparently working with other French women is also a bit like being friends with them, not easy, for the perpetual comparisons between them and the competition.
9. 22 pounds. French women are thinner than their counterparts in other countries by roughly 20 pounds. The key is small portions/moderation. They eat whatever they like, but don’t over-indulge. No diets, but also eat minimally in the evening. Take time for eating, take pleasure in it. France is a very good place to lose weight, despite the masses of runny cheese, pate, foie gras, gallons of red wine and millions of cigarettes—the French are 30% less likely to die of heart disease than their American counterparts. Fresh fruit and vegetables are still a cornerstone of the French diet. They shop every day at the local markets from local farms. This means they are less likely to eat pre-packaged foods which are unhealthy and fattening. They also don’t satisfy you as much as fresh food does. Just be aware of what you are eating—common sense and willpower, smaller portions. Quality—not quantity when you are eating. The French may not believe in god, but most of them still revere their cuisine. There is no such thing as a ready-made meal--unless it comes from their local “traiteur” whom they worship like a priest and have known for years and trust to produce something fit for their dinner table.
10. Text Appeal. In America it can be embarrassing to be intellectual, in France it is essential. French women see intellectual rigor as important as their beauty regime. It is not enough to look good to be seductive; you have to be cultured as well. Seduction has as much to do with the mind as looks. A woman is sexy only if she is intelligent—with humor, spirit and knowledge—accessories to complete her look. Avoir du chein = to be sexy, brainy and attractive. To seduce a man you have to be able to make him laugh, entertain him and keep him interested. You need to go on with him about books too. French women love going to anything remotely arty. In France the cultured and intellectual still have a privileged place. The intellectuals in France can bring down a government. Gabrielle Colette, Simone de Beauvoir are two of the foremost female intellectuals—they seem to have everything a French woman wants; husbands, lovers, confidence and they were incredibly intelligent and attractive.
11. Dangerous Liasons. The French differ hugely from the Brits and Americans when it comes to fidelity. The French view adultery as a fairly normal pastime. The chain of wedlock is so heavy it takes two, sometimes three to carry it. In France, affairs are justifiable if carried out with discretion. Love and lust excuse any conduct. (Possibly it is not the lover in the physical sense, rather the idea of a lover. The idea of being attractive to someone is motivating to look after oneself—nice to have a flirtation but anything more than that and it could all go horribly wrong.) Elegance is refusal, but the French attitude to love is that if you don’t have a lover, you should always behave as if you do. Always be ready and presentable enough to be seen naked (or in matching underwear) by the man of your fantasies, even if he stays just that.
All you need is two lipsticks and a lover? Not true according to this book. You need a lot more. You need an iron will to resist any (edible) temptation that comes your way. You need to be able to make a little time for yourself each day and spend some money on a beauty regiment. You need to make your body, hair, face and style a priority and then you need to read. Is the truth that French women are thin and perfect looking, but don’t have much fun? Maybe. They are working so hard to be perfect that they never stop to enjoy the way they are. Message: “Keep your sense of humor but still be able to fit in your trousers—and obviously wear garters and matching underwear underneath.”
1. French Style. Style is life. French women are slim, incredibly pretty, elegant and sophisticated—always perfectly turned out—indefinable and alluringly chic. French women hate to be badly dressed, and by badly dressed they don’t just mean in bad taste but in the wrong outfit for the event. Another key to French style is restraint—they want to be casual looking but not like they put in much effort (effortlessly elegant)—they also want to keep it a little mysterious/subtle (seductive), not slutty. No sneakers. It is also not ok to dress slovenly—it’s like letting oneself go. You can dress down, but not slob out. Make an effort at all times and don’t skimp on the details. Accessories can turn an unremarkable outfit into something else. It’s also in how you carry yourself.
2. Zen Exercise. A fundamental attitude. Get it where you can, a little everyday—they don’t go for a lot of bouncing around. They move, but they don’t believe in sweating a lot. They go for a more serene form of exercise which is more elegant and, well, French. Shopping is exercise, and so is sex. Men can also be used as a “workout.” Walking, tennis, stretching (most important/essential) and cycling are good—maximum effect for the least amount of effort. Look on any opportunity to move as one not to be missed, there is no need to compartmentalize your day into times to exercise. Be aware of opportunities you have during the day to improve your fitness and take them. If you think about the ways your body looks and are aware of it, then you will work harder to improve it.
3. The Secret Weapon. Lingerie/Underwear. Daily. Matching. Pretty. It is fundamental to how you feel about yourself. If your underwear isn’t right, nothing else works. Underwear is the key to self-confidence and assurance. Very worth the expense. Beautiful underwear gives you something nothing else can. Your underwear can make or break you.
4. Never Mind the Botox. The key to aging is to look natural. Aging can make you quite beautiful—plastic surgery destroys the life you’ve lived (wrinkles and all). Too much make-up plastered on with unnatural hair dye is unacceptable. You can do these things, just don’t let the rest of the world know. Exfoliation is also crucial as are numerous creams and potions. Age has nothing to do with sexiness, attraction can transcend any age. A plus side to aging…older women are more passionate, easier to handle and are more fun to be with. Age with grace, take care of yourself—it is possible to be stunning until the day you die. Take pride in your appearance, look polished. Beauty is something to work on (habits)—protect oneself from the sun and eat well. Hang out with young people, but also appreciate your life and the wisdom that comes with age.
5. Indispensible Allies. The most beautiful make-up on a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy. Creams, potions, perfume…you can never have too many…each serve an essential and different purpose and mood. Cleanse well and everyday—crucial and fundamental. Looking good is of paramount importance to French women. Don’t take out the garbage without putting on lip gloss. Being well turned out should be a constant and is psychologically necessary. So are chic hats. A hat completes a look. If someone is badly dressed, the French will not take them seriously. Letting yourself go physically is seen as a sign that you cannot hold things together intellectually. Souci de soi = care for oneself, in every way. This means brains and looks, you can’t let yourself go and be intellectually rigorous. The French would sooner forgive an extra-marital affair than a bad haircut.
6. Le Rein du Beige. Love of clothes and fashion. A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off you. All clothes should fit you well and be age appropriate, feminine and sexy. A lot of French women’s elegance is in the attention to detail. You should always buy the most expensive bags and shoes you can, for they will finish an outfit. Scarves are also essential. Mix colors and materials. Coco Chanel’s impact on France cannot be overestimated. Fashion is deeply embedded in French culture, it is important to women as love. Fashion should be practiced every day in order to be kept up. Fashion is a skill but it doesn’t have to be an obsession.
7. Beyond One’s Control. There is kind of no such thing as a girlfriend for a French woman. The thing about French girlfriends is that sooner or later they end up sleeping with your husband or boyfriend. Most French women are insanely jealous, suspicious and competitive. One of the reasons they spend most of their time trying to look good is to stop their girlfriends seducing their husbands. There is much more rivalry and much less solidarity between women. In other countries it’s a given that you are not going to seduce your girlfriend’s husband, in France it’s assumed you are. Women are right to be anxious. The girlfriends do usually end up sleeping with their friend’s boyfriends. It just happens. Marital infidelity also happens mainly with people you are close to. The French don’t want to resist their instincts and passions; it’s not in their genetic make-up. The French have a weird, if rather charming attitude towards fidelity. Love or lust, excuses everything. (I think I’ll take the camaraderie of my American girlfriends instead of French girlfriends.)
8. Work and Careers. French women don’t have to choose between having a career and having a family. The French structure strongly supports child care. There is a state primary school where you can drop off your children from the age of two—free of charge. If you are a mother and you’re working you’re going to feel guilty wherever you are. Either in the office when the phone rings and there’s some problem at school, or at home when you feel you should be in the office. You just have to accept that you’re not going to be the perfect woman. Accept that you may not be the perfect mother, but that your children can’t find a better one and they’re very happy with you. Accept that things can be a bit messy. Accept that you not five different people at once and just relax a bit. Apparently working with other French women is also a bit like being friends with them, not easy, for the perpetual comparisons between them and the competition.
9. 22 pounds. French women are thinner than their counterparts in other countries by roughly 20 pounds. The key is small portions/moderation. They eat whatever they like, but don’t over-indulge. No diets, but also eat minimally in the evening. Take time for eating, take pleasure in it. France is a very good place to lose weight, despite the masses of runny cheese, pate, foie gras, gallons of red wine and millions of cigarettes—the French are 30% less likely to die of heart disease than their American counterparts. Fresh fruit and vegetables are still a cornerstone of the French diet. They shop every day at the local markets from local farms. This means they are less likely to eat pre-packaged foods which are unhealthy and fattening. They also don’t satisfy you as much as fresh food does. Just be aware of what you are eating—common sense and willpower, smaller portions. Quality—not quantity when you are eating. The French may not believe in god, but most of them still revere their cuisine. There is no such thing as a ready-made meal--unless it comes from their local “traiteur” whom they worship like a priest and have known for years and trust to produce something fit for their dinner table.
10. Text Appeal. In America it can be embarrassing to be intellectual, in France it is essential. French women see intellectual rigor as important as their beauty regime. It is not enough to look good to be seductive; you have to be cultured as well. Seduction has as much to do with the mind as looks. A woman is sexy only if she is intelligent—with humor, spirit and knowledge—accessories to complete her look. Avoir du chein = to be sexy, brainy and attractive. To seduce a man you have to be able to make him laugh, entertain him and keep him interested. You need to go on with him about books too. French women love going to anything remotely arty. In France the cultured and intellectual still have a privileged place. The intellectuals in France can bring down a government. Gabrielle Colette, Simone de Beauvoir are two of the foremost female intellectuals—they seem to have everything a French woman wants; husbands, lovers, confidence and they were incredibly intelligent and attractive.
11. Dangerous Liasons. The French differ hugely from the Brits and Americans when it comes to fidelity. The French view adultery as a fairly normal pastime. The chain of wedlock is so heavy it takes two, sometimes three to carry it. In France, affairs are justifiable if carried out with discretion. Love and lust excuse any conduct. (Possibly it is not the lover in the physical sense, rather the idea of a lover. The idea of being attractive to someone is motivating to look after oneself—nice to have a flirtation but anything more than that and it could all go horribly wrong.) Elegance is refusal, but the French attitude to love is that if you don’t have a lover, you should always behave as if you do. Always be ready and presentable enough to be seen naked (or in matching underwear) by the man of your fantasies, even if he stays just that.
All you need is two lipsticks and a lover? Not true according to this book. You need a lot more. You need an iron will to resist any (edible) temptation that comes your way. You need to be able to make a little time for yourself each day and spend some money on a beauty regiment. You need to make your body, hair, face and style a priority and then you need to read. Is the truth that French women are thin and perfect looking, but don’t have much fun? Maybe. They are working so hard to be perfect that they never stop to enjoy the way they are. Message: “Keep your sense of humor but still be able to fit in your trousers—and obviously wear garters and matching underwear underneath.”
August 2, 2023
the only good thing about this book is the quotes the author got from the different people she spoke to. other than that the author herself just sounds like a pick me girl during the entire book, as she talks trash about french women. she’s like the girl in the friend group that insults you and then tries to be really nice afterwards so she doesn’t feel as bad.
March 31, 2019
There is something very wrong with these kind of books. Or am I the only one thinking that?
It’s so terribly hard to find a book that talks about the core habits of the French society. Instead, these books with misleading titles, these vacuous authors write snippets of their chats with very specific people around them and jump to conclusions.
Tell me how does this author’s work represent the average French person in any way when the 99% of her interview choices are the wealthy, or individuals in positions where looking put together is important. If I go to a chocolate store and interview people, I will always find people who love or like chocolate, and that is supposed to prove something?
And that B! Ugh. Just say you have a crush on him instead of writing creepy sentences. That was so weird.
In summary, there’s nothing new in this book that you wouldn’t find in a single page article about French online. All the pages are filled with the authors discovery of the obvious internet points in real life and what some models opinions about them are.
What a waste of good paper.
It’s so terribly hard to find a book that talks about the core habits of the French society. Instead, these books with misleading titles, these vacuous authors write snippets of their chats with very specific people around them and jump to conclusions.
Tell me how does this author’s work represent the average French person in any way when the 99% of her interview choices are the wealthy, or individuals in positions where looking put together is important. If I go to a chocolate store and interview people, I will always find people who love or like chocolate, and that is supposed to prove something?
And that B! Ugh. Just say you have a crush on him instead of writing creepy sentences. That was so weird.
In summary, there’s nothing new in this book that you wouldn’t find in a single page article about French online. All the pages are filled with the authors discovery of the obvious internet points in real life and what some models opinions about them are.
What a waste of good paper.
April 13, 2019
Written by a Brit living in France, this is a key to trying to understand French women and culture. Essentially, what one learns is French women are thin, elegant, well-read, jealous, materialistic, cultural, bad friends, humorless, egotistical, serial adulterers (as are their husbands), and, all told, fairly superficial. But they look really, really good while doing all this. On one hand, this book came across as an interesting look into a world I wouldn't want to inhabit, but there are bits of it that I found myself nodding along to, prompting a bit of self-check. I did realize it has been literally years since I have taken any real time to take care of myself, not from a health perspective but from the perspective of actually needing some girly time and things. And while the French perspective that being polished is some sort of necessity or obligation is too much, going in the opposite direction entirely and assuming wearing nice clothes or getting the good shampoo is somehow bad or lacking in self-control is equally ridiculous.
December 12, 2017
This book was interesting, having read several books about young people moving to France I felt I had a feel for the place. 219 pages and until about page 90 the talk was incessantly about beauty, beauty products, how to look beautiful—that was a bit much. The book goes into other areas, dressing well, eating (or not), working (or not), it makes me wonder where the country gets the money to run the government. Parts we should all follow would be spending more time with family, they seem to have that right. Parts of the book were interesting but for the price I would expect a more interesting read.
July 27, 2021
Helena Firth Powel, an Englishwoman moved to France with her family - the book is the product of her research on the topic: How to be a French woman? The book is witty, interesting, a good read - and also has good insights on the way French live, love, think, stay slim and healthy. Though, there are some references to their arrogance, too - which I really liked being mentioned. :)
I've bought this book in Dublin, Ireland in the Oxfam bookshop. I simply liked the title. I didn't regret buying it.
I've bought this book in Dublin, Ireland in the Oxfam bookshop. I simply liked the title. I didn't regret buying it.
April 30, 2018
This was a snappy, engaging, and highly informative book - the best expat-in-France I've encountered! Helena Frith Powell provides charming, amusing, and insightful points of view that give an outsider access into the way a French woman ticks. She interviews interesting and pertinent members of French society, giving the reader a well-rounded perspective on many aspects of French womanhood. Powell's personal perspective as she evolves from happy-go-lucky Englishwoman to savvy and svelte Englishwoman in France makes for a most enjoyable and quick read!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 166 reviews