Love is a Verb: Stories of What Happens When Love Comes Alive

by Gary Chapman

Dr. Gary Chapman has spent his life helping people communicate love more effectively and in turn build more satisfying and lasting relationships. His book The Five Love Languages is a regular on the New York Times bestsellers list--even after being in print for fifteen years--and has made the term "love language" a part of everyday speech. Love Is a Verb takes his teaching to the next level. Rather than a typical relationship self-help book filled with lengthy explanations of principles and techniques, it is a compilation of true stories displaying love in action. These stories--written by everyday people--go straight to the hearts of readers, who often say that illustrations are the most effective parts of a book. Gary Chapman adds a "Love Lesson" to each story, showing readers how they can apply the same principles to their own relationships.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Christian, Relationships, Self Help, Audiobook, Christian Living

224 pages, Hardcover

First published April 1, 2009

About the author

Gary Demonte Chapman is an American author and radio talk show host. Chapman is most noted for his The Five Love Languages series regarding human relationships.

Reviews

[Anna P (whatIreallyRead) · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a collection of fluffy, vaguely moralistic and surprisingly religious stories.

I was expecting "Love is a Verb" to be about, well, love. But barely any of the stories were about romantic love, even those that were about marriage. The book was filled with stories of terminal illness, chronic pain, death, addiction, etc. The advice was along the lines of endurance, sacrifice, and servitude.

While some of the stories, I felt, had good advice, most were "too much" for me. I don't think you should dedicate your life to serving people who hate you. Really, just leave them alone. It will be better for everyone. The fact that you are making a sacrifice does not add intrinsic value to the deed. If a person didn't need your help, sacrifice or no sacrifice, your help will be wasted.

Another thing that really bugged me throughout the book, was endless reference to religion. I'm not religious and don't know any religious people, so I wasn't accustomed to seeing such line of thinking. For example:

1) I have this problem. I pray.
or
2) I have this problem. I search the Bible for instructions on solving it.
or
3) I have this problem. I do this to solve it. It works, the problem is solved. I thank God for solving my problem.

The whole time I was like "????????". It just felt very weird, out of place. When I read XIX century novels or ancient literature, I expect religion and rituals to be a major part of decision-making, but in a modern book... Well, I guess it's just very far from my approach to problem-solving or any approaches I've ever encountered.

I can't say it was bad, just clearly very much not for me. Not in line with my values and outlook on life. I'm sure people closer to Christianity might like it. The low rating is just a reflection of me not finding reasons to give it more stars.

[Lorra Metko · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you like the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, or reading those Readers' Digest stories, you may enjoy this book. The book began with "love" in a variety of settings, but about halfway through became only about marital love. I started to tire of the "rekindle the love" stories. This is one to keep in the bathroom to read from time to time; it's not a "read it from cover to cover" sort of book.

[Tawny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Favorite lines:
1. "Somehow love is flexible and strong enough to step up to the challenges it faces. When we encounter distressing situations love has a deep reservoir we may not see but we can still draw from" (30).
2. "That is the power of compromise inspired by love: When we give and take, the unbelievable becomes possible and even enjoyable" (49).
3. "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves" (59).
4. "Love's lessons are never over, nor are we ever done making sacrifices. We do so in small, day-to-day moments for the rest of our lives" (75).
5. "To love others means to free them from our own unreasonable expectations that they should be or think a certain way" (134).
6. "Expecting less, I am more thankful. Giving more, I receive more" (199).

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I forced myself to finish this book. I wish I could say I learned something, felt inspired, or encouraged, but all I was left with was the knowledge that relationships are hard everywhere and on everyone. Not really a "feel good" book.

[John Kaess · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book of stories. Stories about love. Not stories about feelings, but stories about actions, because Love is a Verb. This is a book for everyone. It will warm your heart. It will give you hope. It will encourage you. Rarely has any book left me feeling this good and this hopeful.

[Kathy · Rating 1 out of 5]

A feel good book with too much God language in it for my taste.

[Bethany · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is too shallow. Every “story” needs much more development for me to consider it in depth. If you want just a little kick in the love pants, and appreciate biblical references than you may appreciate what this book is offering. It wasn’t my cup of tea.

[Leslie Jonsson · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've ever read on loving, and how to love people (including yourself) following Gary Chapman's seven principles.

[Stormie Steele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gary Chapman's "Love is a Verb" - is a rich example of the stories that reside in each one of us. This book is a collection of various "love evoking encounters" - presented uniquely through the eyes of those whose experiences were ignited by moments of insight - gained by touching or being touched by others.

Love is a verb is a reminder, every encounter - expected or unexpected, familiar or unfamiliar - holds a life bearing seed worthy of our investment...of our time.

~Storm Steele

Love is a Verb: Stories of What Happens When Love Comes Alive by Gary Chapman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Gary Chapman's "Love is a Verb" - is a rich example of the stories that reside in each one of us. This book is a collection of various "love evoking encounters" - presented uniquely through the eyes of those whose experiences were ignited by moments of insight - gained by touching or being touched by others.

Love is a verb, is a reminder that every encounter - expected or unexpected, familiar or unfamiliar - holds a life bearing seed worthy of our investment (participating with our eyes and hearts open)~ Storm Steele



View all my reviews

[Brian Eshleman]

Stories in the individual voices of the writers who experienced them are inspiring, although there is a certain predictability to having them in this collection. Chapman summarizing in counselor-speak what these authors have just said in their own way is actually annoying. Sometimes the moral of the story does, and should, tell itself.

[Becky Marietta · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really enjoyed The Five Love Languages, so was looking forward to more lessons about love in this book. Big disappointment--it felt like a gimmick, like Chapman's publishing company said, "Hey, here's a quick buck we can make!" The stories were often treacle-sweet, sometimes poorly written, and the follow-up "lessons" after each one were obvious and dull.

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

a book full of stories about love. If you love the "chicken soup for the christian soul" genre you'll LOVE this... ps i OWN ZERO chicken soup books

[Janie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nice read and great reminder about the various ways love is shown and received.

[Elisabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t think this was Gary Chapman’s best work. The Five Love Languages is a game changer for readers who have never heard of them, and I personally found his book on anger to be equally enjoyable and eye opening. This book, however, can be summarized by reading the title. It is 9 parts the stories of others to one part “practical ways to apply this in YOUR life”. It is likely that at least one story (but not all of them) will sound like something you’ve experienced. My biggest issue is that most of the stories sound like the 50s housewife version of “love”, and the fact that some of the beginning stories in particular are of downright unhealthy relationships (like the couple whose writer commented they wanted to be so close to their partner that they could swap skins and still not be close enough 🙂‍↔️). Most of the stories reference church, God, or the Bible, but even the churches I’ve been to teach that there is a point in any type of relationship where you may need to say “I love you, I forgive you, but I don’t have to keep exposing myself to x behavior.”

[Carla Parreira]

Melhores trechos: "...Uma vez que todo relacionamento amoroso envolve seres humanos falíveis, os desafios são enormes. Diferentemente das ligações pessoais apresentadas no cinema e na televisão, as questões reais entre as pessoas normalmente não podem ser resolvidas em trinta minutos, nem em alguns episódios. Às vezes tanto as situações como as pessoas impedem que amemos adequadamente... O ato de amar começa com você e, fundamentalmente, não tem de ver com o que você diz ou sente. Em vez disso, amor é uma palavra de ação; é uma escolha que você precisa fazer. Amor é um verbo!..."

[Casey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a nice easy read that provides multiple short stories from different individuals, who all provided personal stories about how they learned/experienced love. It is a quick read and easy, inspiring and relatable. Interesting to see how love can be experienced and shown in so many different ways.

[Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

A feel good book that has the potential to inspire individuals to change their perspective on the role of love in relationships - specifically that their own love should not be dependent on receiving another's love, but can certainly inspire reciprocation.

[Željko Filipin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of short stories written by different people, describing their life and marriage. Most of the stories are very touching. Some stories are very sad. Each story has a short commentary by Chapman.

[Missy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I actually did not finish this book. It wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Just a bunch of real-life vignettes and how people delt with their challenges in loving other people. Maybe another day, another year, another life and this book might have resonated more with me.

[Sonu Varughese · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book goes through real life stories of different forms of love. To summarize, love is the key for forgiveness, respect, understanding and it is the purest way to show our light in us given to us by the Holy Spirit.

[Felicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! Touched my heart, learn from someone else experience. Thank you Gary

[Natalyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Likely written to an older audience, I just couldn’t connect with this book. It’s filled with stories and truth, but perhaps this isn’t the reiteration I need.

[Public Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

A not-terrible episodic tour through the various "love languages." Different people describe the different ways people express love - platonic, romantic, and on and on. Moderately eye-opening.

[Colleen Day · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first couple stories were cute, then it got a bit "chicken soup for the soul"-ish

[Jennifer]

I started the audiobook but preferred to read this book. Enjoyed this collection of stories depicting the range and depth and power of a kind and loving heart.

[To Artina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chicken soup for the soul-ish

[Subluxfixer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the content but was a little irritated with the different narrator's voices (my opinion), but wouldn't listen to it again because of that so i gave it a 4 star.

[Jodi Uplinger · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had a lot of good stories showing different ways I can show love to not only the unloved in the world, but to my family (audio book)

[Rakayle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audio book. It was really good. I enjoyed the stories and I think there are some wonderful lessons to be learned. A must read I recommend.

[Lexie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good heart warming stories. Call me jaded but I don’t necessarily like the message to love as some of the examples in the book showed because I feel that sets people up for being used and abused in some cases. Not every story of sharing love ends well. But if you’re looking for some story’s of when it does, this book is for you.