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My Son's Father
The debut of Dom Moraes' trilogy, 'My Son's Father', chronicles his coming-of-age journey in 1950s Bombay and Oxbridge. Moraes' privileged yet lonely childhood was marked by his father's frequent absences. He recalls, 'Missing my father is my first real memory of him.' This period was also filled with conflicting emotions and fear. Moraes' mother, Beryl, battled mental illness, oscillating between smothering her son with love and subjecting him to unusual, sometimes violent, punishments, leaving him deeply scarred.
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March 11, 2018
It is a wonderful memoir. Dom Moraes writes about his privileged childhood, his travels with his parents within India and abroad, his loneliness being an only child, and his obsession with books. However, he wrote a great deal about the 'madness' of his mother and how it affected him for so long. There were many scenes in which he described intense closeness with his mother, and there were moments when 'madness' took over her and she would become hostile and cold toward him.
As a child, he grew up in South Bombay–in a rich and safe neighborhood. He never saw the real Bombay until one day he was with his nanny at the beach and experienced cyclone first hand. It was the first time he questioned where did people on the street go as he was taken into his car and driven away to safety. I suppose many people in urban India go about their lives without ever 'seeing' the poor.
The most important impressive part of the book is his going away to England to study. By this time, he knew only one thing that he wanted to be a poet. In England, he met Auden and other prominent writers, almost all major writers of the time appear in the book in one way or the other. Before twenty he published his poems and made an impression, this also allowed him an easy access to the London literary circuit. In addition, there were fascinating descriptions of London, his love affairs, his struggles with poems, his travels across Europe. All this made it an interesting read. At Oxford, he was not really into his studies as he was so much preoccupied with poetry and girls. Since he had already made a reputation as a poet in England, the faculty often showed leniency toward him.
Now as a young adult, he loved being in England while his mother's condition was deteriorating further. On his visits home, she would be super nice to him and within days of his arrival, she would try to control him. She also often encouraged him to stay home with her and even persuaded him not to go back to England. All this made the young boy nuts. They would often have arguments which sometimes turn into violence. She would hit him, hit the staff and throw things at them if anyone dared to help or intervene in any way. One particular instance in the book is poignantly etched; Dom comes back to his room after walking his old, and somewhat sick, dog. The poor dog leaves the dirty footprints all over. Dom's mother locks the dog out on the balcony despite Dom's pleadings. Next morning Dom finds his dog dead
Despite these horrendous instances, I felt that he was a bit biased toward his mother. As a reader, we did not really know his mother. Maybe he did not know it either– for instance, the dynamic of his parents' relationship. When things went really out of hand, his father admitted her to a 'posh' hospital to be taken care of. Very often it is women who go through this sort of thing. Often such 'madnesses' are the result of inscrutable cruelties, consistent 'neglects' that are heaped on them by men in their lives.
While this is not part of the memoir, his own relationships with women had a checkered history. He left his first partner even though he madly loved her. Later on, he married a highly accomplished and beautiful actress Leela Naidu and stayed with her for several years until one day he walked out on her. He casually told her that he was going out to buy chicken for dinner at the Taj, he never came back. Years later Leela Naidu heard from Dom's earlier lover that he left her exactly in the same manner.
However, such biographical details could be intriguing, mysterious and at times even ugly, these should not taint our response to good writing. Barring a few exceptions, this memoir is a great read.
As a child, he grew up in South Bombay–in a rich and safe neighborhood. He never saw the real Bombay until one day he was with his nanny at the beach and experienced cyclone first hand. It was the first time he questioned where did people on the street go as he was taken into his car and driven away to safety. I suppose many people in urban India go about their lives without ever 'seeing' the poor.
The most important impressive part of the book is his going away to England to study. By this time, he knew only one thing that he wanted to be a poet. In England, he met Auden and other prominent writers, almost all major writers of the time appear in the book in one way or the other. Before twenty he published his poems and made an impression, this also allowed him an easy access to the London literary circuit. In addition, there were fascinating descriptions of London, his love affairs, his struggles with poems, his travels across Europe. All this made it an interesting read. At Oxford, he was not really into his studies as he was so much preoccupied with poetry and girls. Since he had already made a reputation as a poet in England, the faculty often showed leniency toward him.
Now as a young adult, he loved being in England while his mother's condition was deteriorating further. On his visits home, she would be super nice to him and within days of his arrival, she would try to control him. She also often encouraged him to stay home with her and even persuaded him not to go back to England. All this made the young boy nuts. They would often have arguments which sometimes turn into violence. She would hit him, hit the staff and throw things at them if anyone dared to help or intervene in any way. One particular instance in the book is poignantly etched; Dom comes back to his room after walking his old, and somewhat sick, dog. The poor dog leaves the dirty footprints all over. Dom's mother locks the dog out on the balcony despite Dom's pleadings. Next morning Dom finds his dog dead
Despite these horrendous instances, I felt that he was a bit biased toward his mother. As a reader, we did not really know his mother. Maybe he did not know it either– for instance, the dynamic of his parents' relationship. When things went really out of hand, his father admitted her to a 'posh' hospital to be taken care of. Very often it is women who go through this sort of thing. Often such 'madnesses' are the result of inscrutable cruelties, consistent 'neglects' that are heaped on them by men in their lives.
While this is not part of the memoir, his own relationships with women had a checkered history. He left his first partner even though he madly loved her. Later on, he married a highly accomplished and beautiful actress Leela Naidu and stayed with her for several years until one day he walked out on her. He casually told her that he was going out to buy chicken for dinner at the Taj, he never came back. Years later Leela Naidu heard from Dom's earlier lover that he left her exactly in the same manner.
However, such biographical details could be intriguing, mysterious and at times even ugly, these should not taint our response to good writing. Barring a few exceptions, this memoir is a great read.
July 14, 2020
Dom Moraes was an Indian poet writing in English. At the age of twenty, he won the prestigious Hawthornden Prize for his debut poetry collection, A Beginning in 1958. He was the first Indian as well as the youngest poet to win that prize.
He wrote My Son's Father, a memoir, just at the age of thirty. Stephen Spender, who had played a major role in grooming the poet, called this autobiography 'A Minor Classic' in the New York Times.
This book is the account of Moraes' troubled childhood and his beginnings as a poet in the literary World. It vividly portrays the English literary scene of 50s London. I found this memoir a lovely literary treat.
Published first by Secker and Warburg in 1968, this is now published by Speaking Tiger Publications. I got a review copy from the publishers and the review has appeared in Borderless Journal here:
https://borderlessjournal.com/2020/07...
He wrote My Son's Father, a memoir, just at the age of thirty. Stephen Spender, who had played a major role in grooming the poet, called this autobiography 'A Minor Classic' in the New York Times.
This book is the account of Moraes' troubled childhood and his beginnings as a poet in the literary World. It vividly portrays the English literary scene of 50s London. I found this memoir a lovely literary treat.
Published first by Secker and Warburg in 1968, this is now published by Speaking Tiger Publications. I got a review copy from the publishers and the review has appeared in Borderless Journal here:
https://borderlessjournal.com/2020/07...
November 15, 2024
My Son's Father - An Autobiography - Dom Moraes
Rating - 3.5/5
I had recently read Dom Moraes's travel writing as a part of the book - "Gone Away". His writing was very inviting and I was enamoured by the thoughts of reading his autobiography part 1, which would help me read and understand his poems. Hence I ventured into reading this book.
This autobiography was published when Dom was around 30 year of age. It starts with his childhood remembrances, then to his school and then to Oxfordshire and from then on, once he graduates from Oxford - it leaps a good 10 years ahead in time to stall at the time when he is 30 and father to a kid - Francis Moraes.
I liked the first half of the book, the time when he as child tells us what all he did, whom all he met, details of his growing up in Bombay of the 1940's/1950's then his travel to Ceylon, Australia. Dom gets to spend a couple of years in Ceylon and the book has few pages dedicated to Ceylon travel, Colombo, Anuradhapura, Batticoloa, Jaffna, Sirigaya and other places have been mentioned. A line has been spared to the Tamil natives baring the brunt of Sinhala locals. Mind you this was long before resistance movement took birth. No mention of Kuttimani or Jegan or Prabhakaran as it was much before LTTE strong hold emerged.
Dom also mentions his mother's illness and details out her behavioural patterns and his behaviour towards her. Amidst this Dom goes through schooling and then gets admission to Oxford. Even in the first half of book, every now and then Dom mentions about him writing poetry in his mind, on paper, compiling a book of essays on cricket, him watching cricket even though not playing it, later with few friends he ended up playing cricket, his visit to Kanheri caves, his maternal and paternal side of the family. There are much interesting things in the first half of the book and that is where the action lies.
The second half of the book is where boredom kicks in. Once Dom lands on the shores of England, its all about weather, liquor, people whom he meets and him spending time with budding literary people, poets, publishers and other acquaintances. Spender, Auden, TS Elliot are few whom Dom met whilst in Oxfordshire, or in London. Dom travels to Italy, France and couple of other places, the write up of which did not seem interesting to me, mainly because of my unfamiliarity with those places, landscapes or people (probably).
These indulgences in alcohol, meeting people, his relationship with K, his pattern of spending time rather became monotonous for me to read and I yearned to extricate myself from the clutches of this Dom's routine. Luckily for me, once post graduation, Dom directly skips a good 7-9 years ahead to a time when he is 30 and father to a kid with his spouse/partner being Judith thus leading to a closure of the book.
Overall to anyone willing to read this book, I would suggest to do some general reading of Dom Moraes on the internet, Wikipedia, his nature or pattern of behaviour or the course of his life. Because what you see is what you get. I feel it would be better to invest time in reading his poetry or his travel writings. I am unsure if I would ever read his part 2 of his autobiography, I may in future, but I know what to expect, because he would be spending more than a decade in UK before returning to India.
An okayish read, not good compared to his travel writing.
Cheers,
Rating - 3.5/5
I had recently read Dom Moraes's travel writing as a part of the book - "Gone Away". His writing was very inviting and I was enamoured by the thoughts of reading his autobiography part 1, which would help me read and understand his poems. Hence I ventured into reading this book.
This autobiography was published when Dom was around 30 year of age. It starts with his childhood remembrances, then to his school and then to Oxfordshire and from then on, once he graduates from Oxford - it leaps a good 10 years ahead in time to stall at the time when he is 30 and father to a kid - Francis Moraes.
I liked the first half of the book, the time when he as child tells us what all he did, whom all he met, details of his growing up in Bombay of the 1940's/1950's then his travel to Ceylon, Australia. Dom gets to spend a couple of years in Ceylon and the book has few pages dedicated to Ceylon travel, Colombo, Anuradhapura, Batticoloa, Jaffna, Sirigaya and other places have been mentioned. A line has been spared to the Tamil natives baring the brunt of Sinhala locals. Mind you this was long before resistance movement took birth. No mention of Kuttimani or Jegan or Prabhakaran as it was much before LTTE strong hold emerged.
Dom also mentions his mother's illness and details out her behavioural patterns and his behaviour towards her. Amidst this Dom goes through schooling and then gets admission to Oxford. Even in the first half of book, every now and then Dom mentions about him writing poetry in his mind, on paper, compiling a book of essays on cricket, him watching cricket even though not playing it, later with few friends he ended up playing cricket, his visit to Kanheri caves, his maternal and paternal side of the family. There are much interesting things in the first half of the book and that is where the action lies.
The second half of the book is where boredom kicks in. Once Dom lands on the shores of England, its all about weather, liquor, people whom he meets and him spending time with budding literary people, poets, publishers and other acquaintances. Spender, Auden, TS Elliot are few whom Dom met whilst in Oxfordshire, or in London. Dom travels to Italy, France and couple of other places, the write up of which did not seem interesting to me, mainly because of my unfamiliarity with those places, landscapes or people (probably).
These indulgences in alcohol, meeting people, his relationship with K, his pattern of spending time rather became monotonous for me to read and I yearned to extricate myself from the clutches of this Dom's routine. Luckily for me, once post graduation, Dom directly skips a good 7-9 years ahead to a time when he is 30 and father to a kid with his spouse/partner being Judith thus leading to a closure of the book.
Overall to anyone willing to read this book, I would suggest to do some general reading of Dom Moraes on the internet, Wikipedia, his nature or pattern of behaviour or the course of his life. Because what you see is what you get. I feel it would be better to invest time in reading his poetry or his travel writings. I am unsure if I would ever read his part 2 of his autobiography, I may in future, but I know what to expect, because he would be spending more than a decade in UK before returning to India.
An okayish read, not good compared to his travel writing.
Cheers,
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 18, 2022
I had high hopes for this one, based on what I felt after reading "Gone Away". The first few chapters read very well...vivid accounts of life and travel in India and erstwhile Ceylon..a brilliant portrait of a family struggling to cope with mental illness.
Its the Oxbridge years that start getting a little boring..there's no dearth of wonderful characters here. Spender, Auden...
However, it does get a little bit tedious...
Its the Oxbridge years that start getting a little boring..there's no dearth of wonderful characters here. Spender, Auden...
However, it does get a little bit tedious...
December 22, 2023
My Son's Father (Paperback) by Dom Moraes- memoir- first chapter of the book is about Bombay during the Second World War. His father Frank Moraes left for Burma front to cover incidents of the war for his newspaper as War Correspondent. Author was left at home with his mother. His mother Beryl was a doctor. He has narrated how he and his mother went to meet Mahatma Gandhi. Smt Sarojini Naidu carried him to Mahatma Gandhi. Author remembers his father and the atmosphere created by his presence in the house. With his father, British army officers are arriving, talking, discussing events and leaving. Author like this busy state of this house. They have a driver and number of servants to look after him. Author narrates writes about his privileged childhood, his travels with his parents within India and abroad, his loneliness being an only child. His house has a rich collection of books. Lonely child, is thus obsessed with books. Author narrates that his mother comes to know that Author’s father is living with another foreign lady. They both go together to meet her at the Taj Hotel. This act of his father brings madness to his mother. As a child, he grew up in South Bombay–in a rich and safe neighborhood. He never saw the real Bombay until one day he was with his nanny at the beach and experienced cyclone first hand. It was the first time he questioned where did people on the street go as he was taken into his car and driven away to safety. I suppose many people in urban India go about their lives without ever 'seeing' the poor. Author’s parents arrange for his study in Jesus College, England. By this time, he knew only one thing that he wanted to be a poet. In England, he met Auden and other prominent writers, almost all major writers of the time appear in the book in one way or the other. Before twenty he published his poems and made an impression, this also allowed him an easy access to the London literary circuit. In addition, there were fascinating descriptions of London, his love affairs, his struggles with poems, his travels across Europe. All this made it an interesting read. At Oxford, he was not really into his studies as he was so much preoccupied with poetry and girls. Since he had already made a reputation as a poet in England, the faculty often showed leniency toward him. Now as a young adult, he loved being in England while his mother's condition was deteriorating further. On his visits home, she would be super nice to him and within days of his arrival, she would try to control him. She also often encouraged him to stay home with her and even persuaded him not to go back to England. Author does not appreciate this. When things went really out of hand, his father admitted his mother to a 'posh' hospital to be taken care of. Author narrates his own relationships with women had a checkered history. He left his first partner even though he madly loved her. Later on, he married a highly accomplished and beautiful actress Leela Naidu and stayed with her for several years until one day he walked out on her. He casually told her that he was going out to buy chicken for dinner at the Taj, he never came back. Years later Leela Naidu heard from Dom's earlier lover that he left her exactly in the same manner. This memoir relates to an important Indian poet and journalist. It is quite interesting to read it. It is a good read book for readers of all age groups.
November 2, 2021
A moving, clear memoir.
The first half is an understated masterpiece. It is a moving portrayal of a complex childhood where the privileged position of his father contrasted with the mental illness of his mother.
It is a tale of how financial security doesn't always mean safety at home. How compassion can turn ugly if mother and son badly misunderstand each other and the limitations of mental healthcare at the time.
The second half is more flawed. It follows the inchoate poet across the black waters to England. There it is marred by some name-dropping and too many stories about getting drunk.
Despite all that, it is a must read.
The first half is an understated masterpiece. It is a moving portrayal of a complex childhood where the privileged position of his father contrasted with the mental illness of his mother.
It is a tale of how financial security doesn't always mean safety at home. How compassion can turn ugly if mother and son badly misunderstand each other and the limitations of mental healthcare at the time.
The second half is more flawed. It follows the inchoate poet across the black waters to England. There it is marred by some name-dropping and too many stories about getting drunk.
Despite all that, it is a must read.
July 23, 2019
A wonderful narration....
Read
March 27, 2010Okay,BOring !!!
Read
August 7, 2011This is one of first autographical books of Dom. Help to understand literature, Dom, his family-mom and dad Frank Moraes- one time editor of Indian Express.
February 16, 2016
one of the best memoirs i've ever read!
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews