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At Home in the Muddy Water: A Guide to Finding Peace within Everyday Chaos
May we exist like a lotus, / At home in the muddy water. / Thus we bow to life as it is.
This verse is an important reminder, says Ezra Bayda, of what the spiritual life is truly the willingness to open ourselves to whatever life presents—no matter how messy or complicated. And through that willingness to be open, we can discover wisdom, compassion, and the genuine life we all want. In At Home in the Muddy Water , Bayda applies this simple Zen teaching to a range of everyday concerns—including relationships, trust, sexuality, and money—showing that everything we need to practice is right here before us, and that peace and fulfillment is available to everyone, right here, right now, no matter what their circumstances.
This verse is an important reminder, says Ezra Bayda, of what the spiritual life is truly the willingness to open ourselves to whatever life presents—no matter how messy or complicated. And through that willingness to be open, we can discover wisdom, compassion, and the genuine life we all want. In At Home in the Muddy Water , Bayda applies this simple Zen teaching to a range of everyday concerns—including relationships, trust, sexuality, and money—showing that everything we need to practice is right here before us, and that peace and fulfillment is available to everyone, right here, right now, no matter what their circumstances.
160 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
February 24, 2017
You have to love a book that's focused on helping you avoid living a substitute life. Bayda has the toughness of his former teacher Charlotte Joko Beck with some of the hard edges smoothed down. He's very clear about the qualities we need to develop in meditation - perseverance, letting the body and mind settle through stillness, clearly seeing and constantly questioning our belief systems, experiencing our emotional distress, and just being with the moment - and how to apply the qualities needed to deal with whatever arises, such as persevering when you hit a dry, unmotivated patch or labeling unexamined beliefs without judgment and residing in the physical experience of discomfort when in emotional distress. That the measure of our practice is how willing we are to practice at our edge, such as with our addictive behavior.
"No matter what form our addictive pattern takes, when we find ourselves at that edge where we just can't refrain from the behavior, we can practice by discontinuing one small aspect of the behavior. The idea here isn't to wipe out the addiction, but to truly experience the energy behind the behavior, the seemingly unquenchable thirst from which addictive behavior arise.
For example, if you're addicted to eating for comfort, you could practice not eating snacks at night for a week. The goal is not to never eat snacks again or to become a spiritual ascetic. Rather, the idea is that for just one week you give yourself the opportunity to work with the hole of discomfort out of which your craving arises. The practice is to refrain in order to take yourself to the edge of the longing and work with it."
I loved the chapter "Potato Salad" and the reminder that the causes of what we observe and experience are so complex and interrelated that we don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. That we shouldn't be chasing the whys and hows of experiences but just be aware of the "What is this moment," really feeling the energy and texture of the moment since that's all we can know for sure.
In "Attachment," he states "Do we want to be attached or do we want to be happy? The answer is very clear - we want to be attached! For example, even though we see that our desires give us ephemeral pleasure at best, we still cling to them. We won't give up the belief that they will in fact eventually make us happy. . . . Freedom from attachment requires that we first see the ways in which we're attached. In particular, we have to see how attachments arise out of beliefs."
Bayda shies away from nothing - money, relationships, betrayal, forgiveness, loss, sex. Anything that pushes buttons is an opportunity to dig deeper, to question what you believe and why, to expand your boundaries and feel more fully present.
"No matter what form our addictive pattern takes, when we find ourselves at that edge where we just can't refrain from the behavior, we can practice by discontinuing one small aspect of the behavior. The idea here isn't to wipe out the addiction, but to truly experience the energy behind the behavior, the seemingly unquenchable thirst from which addictive behavior arise.
For example, if you're addicted to eating for comfort, you could practice not eating snacks at night for a week. The goal is not to never eat snacks again or to become a spiritual ascetic. Rather, the idea is that for just one week you give yourself the opportunity to work with the hole of discomfort out of which your craving arises. The practice is to refrain in order to take yourself to the edge of the longing and work with it."
I loved the chapter "Potato Salad" and the reminder that the causes of what we observe and experience are so complex and interrelated that we don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. That we shouldn't be chasing the whys and hows of experiences but just be aware of the "What is this moment," really feeling the energy and texture of the moment since that's all we can know for sure.
In "Attachment," he states "Do we want to be attached or do we want to be happy? The answer is very clear - we want to be attached! For example, even though we see that our desires give us ephemeral pleasure at best, we still cling to them. We won't give up the belief that they will in fact eventually make us happy. . . . Freedom from attachment requires that we first see the ways in which we're attached. In particular, we have to see how attachments arise out of beliefs."
Bayda shies away from nothing - money, relationships, betrayal, forgiveness, loss, sex. Anything that pushes buttons is an opportunity to dig deeper, to question what you believe and why, to expand your boundaries and feel more fully present.
May 11, 2012
I really learned a lot from this book. Much of it resonated with issues I'm going through recently. One is my tendency to fill in gaps--sort of creating a set of expectations for others to follow, that I want them to follow, and then becoming disappointed when they don't follow them. In the end I'm the one who created this "person" out of someone else. This idea made me think more about really listening to who people are and accepting them for who they are and not putting other things on them. Also the idea of living in the present moment and not allowing future "stories" to dictate actions in the present...this is a big one I really struggle with, and the book talks about that a lot. There were a lot of things I marked to go back to, and I especially like the message that "Time is fleeting. Don't hold back." I think my future fears often hold me back in the present, and I'd like to be more present-minded and lower my anxiety level about the choices I make and just live with my choices, for good or for ill. Overall a good book that helped me clarify some things in my mind.
March 7, 2010
It is a little dry for my liking. I was attracted to it by the title and the blurb on the back cover. But some quite beautiful lessons that can be learnt if you are patient enough.
May we exist like a lotus, At home in the muddy water. Thus we bow to life as it is.
May we exist like a lotus, At home in the muddy water. Thus we bow to life as it is.
October 28, 2018
I enjoyed this book very much, I'd describe it as sort of a "trouble shooting" guide for Buddhism/mindfulness. I think you would need to have some understanding of the basic philosophy before reading this book. I believe Ezra actually suggests reading one his previous books "Being Zen" first but any introductory guide will do I should think, I had read "Buddhism Plain and Simple" by Steve Hagen which I also really enjoyed and gave me a good place to start. Ezra's book is on how to maintain a Buddhist practice once the initial enthusiasm wears off and we start to find it more difficult to work into our busy schedules. He also answers questions that may arise after practicing for awhile. I like how the book was broken down into categories that give lots of examples on how to apply the tools of mindfulness to our everyday lives and the obstacles and overwhelming emotions that may arise.
October 16, 2017
My favourite line from this book is 'reside in the discomfort'. What the author means, is the ability to accept things we don't like and avoiding the tendency to fight or change things. This idea struck me as profoud and I try to practice it as much as I can. It is easier said that done, but serves well to remind ourselves every now and then.
Being a student of Vedanta, I do see a lot of similarities, as well as some interesting subtle differences. I would recommend this book to anybody who is interested in spirituality.
Being a student of Vedanta, I do see a lot of similarities, as well as some interesting subtle differences. I would recommend this book to anybody who is interested in spirituality.
October 10, 2017
One of the best books about how to have a peace-filled life. Short and sweet, written by a Zen master.
February 25, 2021
This book provides clear and helpful insight into the work of putting the benefits of contemplative practice into our everyday living situations, which is the real challenge of transformation.
June 4, 2021
Molto utile, molto ampio, molto tutto, un viatico per la quotidianità, inesauribile.
July 21, 2015
oi, even the shortest spiritual book takes me months to read. i read a chapter and then take weeks before i can tackle another chapter. but i think this is how a book like this has to be read. as a kind of practice just in the reading! bayda's tone is a bit more didactic and instructional than some of the books i've read. the writing is gentle but firm. not so much lyrical or ecstatic. but he does a great job of laying out a path to awakening as one of practice of being in the present moment, not even about concentration or meditation per se, but about how to be alive. that peace is being with the chaos, not running away from it. i like that this is something anyone can do. we are all capable of peace.
November 4, 2021
My first encounter with the writings of Ezra Bayda.
There are a lot of zen books out there and I’ve read more than a few. This is in the top tier, in my view. Bayda brings considerable wisdom to this book, published after more than 30 years of zen practice and 5 years after dharma transmission from Charlotte Joko Beck. Many zen books present zen as a special experience, whereas Bayda has a gift for integrating zen into our everyday life. This is a book for those who take zen seriously but who also sometimes find themselves wondering what they are doing on the cushion and why.
Highly recommended.
My Zen reviews, ranked
There are a lot of zen books out there and I’ve read more than a few. This is in the top tier, in my view. Bayda brings considerable wisdom to this book, published after more than 30 years of zen practice and 5 years after dharma transmission from Charlotte Joko Beck. Many zen books present zen as a special experience, whereas Bayda has a gift for integrating zen into our everyday life. This is a book for those who take zen seriously but who also sometimes find themselves wondering what they are doing on the cushion and why.
Highly recommended.
My Zen reviews, ranked
April 13, 2015
I got this book while browsing my public library in Tulsa, OK
I would recommend this for people who like yoga and looking inside themselves to see who they are more clearly. This book helped me think through some things. I would read a section and then journal about it if the mood struck me. Basically I used this book as a firestarter in my brain to help me look at my life and myself and be honest even though it can be fun to instead wrap my comfy blanket of self-deception around me.
I would recommend this for people who like yoga and looking inside themselves to see who they are more clearly. This book helped me think through some things. I would read a section and then journal about it if the mood struck me. Basically I used this book as a firestarter in my brain to help me look at my life and myself and be honest even though it can be fun to instead wrap my comfy blanket of self-deception around me.
February 3, 2022
This is a nice book to help one understand how the practice of Zen can help them as they walk their path. In this sense one should look at Zen not as a religion to compete with their existing beliefs, but rather a philosophy, a way to help them be more aware of their life as it passes by them.
November 8, 2008
A favorite Zen book, the one i return to regularly.
August 18, 2009
Great title, isn't it?
Quote:
May we exist like a lotus
At home in the muddy water
Thus we bow to life as it is
Quote:
May we exist like a lotus
At home in the muddy water
Thus we bow to life as it is
March 29, 2010
Ezra is a zen teacher of mine. I found this book very clear and will revisit it. He reminds us that life is messy, and everything is a path to practice. He reminds us to pay attention to our living.
July 16, 2013
For a small book, it has condensed essense of practical wisdom. A must for meditators and contemplators of any sort. As beginer into contemplation of sorts this was reliable indicator.
August 29, 2013
Thought provoking, practical thoughts on a spiritual practice - the book helped me refine my process and thinking about why and how I could integrate it into my life - an excellent read
January 5, 2014
Wonderful book to show up for you if you are ready to embrace some change in your life. Enlightened but practical and real life.A must re-read.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews