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"It'll be Okay.": How I Kept Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) from Ruining My Life
Keynote Speaker, 2010 International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) Annual Conference and Member IOCDF Speakers Bureau. Shannon Shy is a senior civilian attorney with the Department of the Navy and a retired U.S. Marine Corps Reserve Lieutenant Colonel. In 1997, while on active duty with the Marines, he was diagnosed with a severe case of obsessive-compulsive disorder or "OCD." His OCD had become so severe he became practically non-functioning. He constantly found himself in a seemingly endless loop of intrusive and irrational thoughts, mental anguish, physical pain, and odd behaviors. It got to the point where he secretly and repeatedly thought that suicide would be better than the anguish, embarrassment, and the pain. While he had suspected for several years that he had some disorder, he was afraid to admit it to anyone and afraid to be diagnosed. He had concluded that doing so would cause him to lose his career and his wife and two young sons. Finally, after some nudging from his wife and a colleague and after one very memorable OCD episode, he called a psychiatrist. With the aid of doctors, medication, and behavioral therapy, he developed an effective behavioral strategy (what he calls "Ground Rules and Checkpoints") to manage his OCD. He now lives a very happy and productive life and has for many years--without medication and without doctors. OCD no longer adversely affects him. This book is about how a young Marine officer, attorney, and family man faced and overcame a relentless "enemy" called OCD. It is a story about struggle, perseverance, and overcoming adversity. This book is not intended as medical advice. Rather, it provides hope, comfort, confidence and insight to some practical techniques for those suffering from OCD and for those trying to help someone with OCD.
112 pages, Paperback
First published March 11, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
February 1, 2012
Shannon Shy, a Marine officer had ocd. Not the ‘cute’ kind where people say: “ oh, I’m sooo OCD”, but the real, devastating kind that turns your life and everyone in it upside down. Shannon gives a detailed description of all his ocd symptoms and how they affected his life. He uses the words ‘tortured’, ‘exhausting’, ‘haunting thoughts’ and 'anguish'. All strong words that underscore the intensiveness and seriousness of ocd.
Most of Shy’s symptoms had to do with checking. Was the door really locked? Was that log over there by the side of the road really a dying person? Did I hit a bump in the road or run over someone? Was that thing in the pond over there really a person in distress? Lets go check. Not once, not twice but over and over. If he didn’t check, then the thoughts would come: it will be YOUR fault if the person drowns, the house catches on fire, the man beside the road dies.
Shy’s ocd had him feeling responsible for everyone who was swimming in the water. Did they come out safely? Where did the 2 ladies at the beach go? Are they drowning in the water?
And then there were the environmental triggers: a drop of gas that dripped on the ground while putting the nozzle back would have to be reported to the attendant. A discarded anti-freeze or other chemical container was cause for concern. Spilling gas on the grass while filling up the lawn mower meant Shy was contaminating the neighbourhood and that precise spot of grass must be dug up and discarded. A half-full bag of fertilizer left on the military grounds made him anxious for weeks. Stepping in a puddle of fluid in a parking lot meant either cleaning his shoes or throwing them out.
Safety was also an issue. Shy would check the soccer field before his child played on it to make sure no rocks or other items were on it that could hurt a child. Were children in the park or doctor's office safe and being treated kindly by their parents? Were the airplane’s wings cracked? Did he leave the hotel room or house in a safe, sanitary, undamaged condition before departing? After doing his own checks he’d report his findings to the coach, attendant or officer in charge, often getting confused looks in return.
His mind could no longer tell the difference between an important or non- important issue. Log book entries while ‘on duty’were pages long because he had to report everything.
Finally after spending one early morning chasing down what ‘might’ have been a gunshot and reporting it to the police, Shannon became totally frustrated with himself and wished to die.He finally made a call to the Navy Psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnosed him with ocd and explained how ocd works. While doing a ritual relieves the anxiety for a moment, the thoughts return again, stronger and more frequent. Ocd feeds on itself.
After being given some medication, Shy was sent to a psychologist. There he was told he had to learn to accept the ocd thought and not resist it AND stop doing the compulsion. First tho, he had to figure out which of his thoughts were ocd because to him they ALL seemed legitimate. Ocd thoughts, he learned are those that second guessed what he saw or heard. Ocd came with an adverse physical reaction (heart racing, hot flashes).
Shannon Shy developed a set of ground rules for himself. And with some positive self talk he began practising what he learned. Ground rule 1 was that he didn’t have to be perfect. He could just manage ocd to the best of his ability. Rule 2 is that ocd is separate from Who He Was. Thus he attributed ocd thoughts to the illness (rule 3), not to himself. He was battling ocd. He practiced allowing an ocd thought to remain in his head realizing that he did not need to AGREE with the thought to allow it to move across his mind. Thoughts don’t hurt anyone. (rule 4) And finally rule 5 reminded him to resist the compulsion. With practise, he learned to stop the ocd at the thought with no accompanying compulsive urges any longer! After 2 years he was doing so well that he was basically symptom free and with a doctor’s permission slowly eliminated his medications.
In his second last chapter Shy mentioned some life strategies that have helped him. The first was a positive attitude. The second was to rely on friends, family and faith for support. Third, he believed in living life and enjoying it as much as possible. Finally he saw himself as a valuable part of the universe.
In the last chapter he has a bit of advice for family and friends of someone suffering with ocd. He tells them to educate themselves about ocd, tell the sufferer he is not crazy and there is help available. Most of all, he says, don’t be a crutch. Support and encourage your friend or relative but don’t make the decisions for them. They must battle the ocd thoughts themselves to win the fight.
What I like best about Shy’s book is his detailed descriptions of his ocd thoughts and compulsions. He also does a lot of positive self talk to get himself thru resisting a compulsion. ‘It’ll be ok’ is not just a hopeful title, it is his mantra whenever he battles an ocd thought. Funnily enough, it’s my mantra too while I am doing an ERP or waiting for the flood of feelings to leave.
Some of his ‘rules’ I had also already figured out for myself: ( think of ocd as a separate entity) or read elsewhere ( label irrational thoughts as ocd and don’t resist them but do NOT do the compulsion). Also, he doesn't go into much detail about his journey out of ocd.
This is a great book for a person who is just beginning their journey to healing from ocd. Learning the ground rules and life-attitudes and practising them will help them win the battle against this cruel disorder.
Most of Shy’s symptoms had to do with checking. Was the door really locked? Was that log over there by the side of the road really a dying person? Did I hit a bump in the road or run over someone? Was that thing in the pond over there really a person in distress? Lets go check. Not once, not twice but over and over. If he didn’t check, then the thoughts would come: it will be YOUR fault if the person drowns, the house catches on fire, the man beside the road dies.
Shy’s ocd had him feeling responsible for everyone who was swimming in the water. Did they come out safely? Where did the 2 ladies at the beach go? Are they drowning in the water?
And then there were the environmental triggers: a drop of gas that dripped on the ground while putting the nozzle back would have to be reported to the attendant. A discarded anti-freeze or other chemical container was cause for concern. Spilling gas on the grass while filling up the lawn mower meant Shy was contaminating the neighbourhood and that precise spot of grass must be dug up and discarded. A half-full bag of fertilizer left on the military grounds made him anxious for weeks. Stepping in a puddle of fluid in a parking lot meant either cleaning his shoes or throwing them out.
Safety was also an issue. Shy would check the soccer field before his child played on it to make sure no rocks or other items were on it that could hurt a child. Were children in the park or doctor's office safe and being treated kindly by their parents? Were the airplane’s wings cracked? Did he leave the hotel room or house in a safe, sanitary, undamaged condition before departing? After doing his own checks he’d report his findings to the coach, attendant or officer in charge, often getting confused looks in return.
His mind could no longer tell the difference between an important or non- important issue. Log book entries while ‘on duty’were pages long because he had to report everything.
Finally after spending one early morning chasing down what ‘might’ have been a gunshot and reporting it to the police, Shannon became totally frustrated with himself and wished to die.He finally made a call to the Navy Psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnosed him with ocd and explained how ocd works. While doing a ritual relieves the anxiety for a moment, the thoughts return again, stronger and more frequent. Ocd feeds on itself.
After being given some medication, Shy was sent to a psychologist. There he was told he had to learn to accept the ocd thought and not resist it AND stop doing the compulsion. First tho, he had to figure out which of his thoughts were ocd because to him they ALL seemed legitimate. Ocd thoughts, he learned are those that second guessed what he saw or heard. Ocd came with an adverse physical reaction (heart racing, hot flashes).
Shannon Shy developed a set of ground rules for himself. And with some positive self talk he began practising what he learned. Ground rule 1 was that he didn’t have to be perfect. He could just manage ocd to the best of his ability. Rule 2 is that ocd is separate from Who He Was. Thus he attributed ocd thoughts to the illness (rule 3), not to himself. He was battling ocd. He practiced allowing an ocd thought to remain in his head realizing that he did not need to AGREE with the thought to allow it to move across his mind. Thoughts don’t hurt anyone. (rule 4) And finally rule 5 reminded him to resist the compulsion. With practise, he learned to stop the ocd at the thought with no accompanying compulsive urges any longer! After 2 years he was doing so well that he was basically symptom free and with a doctor’s permission slowly eliminated his medications.
In his second last chapter Shy mentioned some life strategies that have helped him. The first was a positive attitude. The second was to rely on friends, family and faith for support. Third, he believed in living life and enjoying it as much as possible. Finally he saw himself as a valuable part of the universe.
In the last chapter he has a bit of advice for family and friends of someone suffering with ocd. He tells them to educate themselves about ocd, tell the sufferer he is not crazy and there is help available. Most of all, he says, don’t be a crutch. Support and encourage your friend or relative but don’t make the decisions for them. They must battle the ocd thoughts themselves to win the fight.
What I like best about Shy’s book is his detailed descriptions of his ocd thoughts and compulsions. He also does a lot of positive self talk to get himself thru resisting a compulsion. ‘It’ll be ok’ is not just a hopeful title, it is his mantra whenever he battles an ocd thought. Funnily enough, it’s my mantra too while I am doing an ERP or waiting for the flood of feelings to leave.
Some of his ‘rules’ I had also already figured out for myself: ( think of ocd as a separate entity) or read elsewhere ( label irrational thoughts as ocd and don’t resist them but do NOT do the compulsion). Also, he doesn't go into much detail about his journey out of ocd.
This is a great book for a person who is just beginning their journey to healing from ocd. Learning the ground rules and life-attitudes and practising them will help them win the battle against this cruel disorder.
April 3, 2009
Great book written by Shannon, a family friend. It was nice reading about someone I know and their struggle with life. It makes life seem a bit more real. I sometimes forget that I'm not the only one struggling.
Thanks Shannon, for sharing your story.
Thanks Shannon, for sharing your story.
August 10, 2016
I greatly appreciated Shannon Shy's willingness to completely open up and candidly discuss his struggles with this horrendous illness. I also really like his cbt-based strategy for fighting ocd. This is a very short read that can serve as inspiration for many.
September 22, 2017
Helpful and uplifting book
Anyone with OCD should read this book. It gets right to the point and highlights some extremely effective tools one can use to crush OCD. I found the style of writing flowed and I enjoyed reading the author's personal story as he wove skills that anyone could apply to their own battle with OCD.
Anyone with OCD should read this book. It gets right to the point and highlights some extremely effective tools one can use to crush OCD. I found the style of writing flowed and I enjoyed reading the author's personal story as he wove skills that anyone could apply to their own battle with OCD.
July 21, 2018
Short but still very helpful
February 5, 2010
It’ll Be Okay is a story of healing and triumph over Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). As a Marine, Shannon Shy was the picture of strength and confidence. No one was more outgoing and fun loving.
Then, without warning, OCD began robbing Shannon of himself. Like many OCD sufferers, he developed a variety of compulsions including mistaking everyday objects along the side of the road for dead bodies, worrying that parked cars could contain injured people, needing to make sure that people were treating their children properly, and the dreaded hand washing routine. Often, it took Shannon hours to just get to work.
Terrified that admitting that he had a problem meant he’d lose his livelihood, Shannon tried everything to fight his compulsions. Fortunately, he eventually found help. Through medication and behavioral modification, he came to grips with OCD. Today, he is medication free and handles any stray OCD thoughts with a series of steps that he shares with other OCD sufferers.
Thank you, Shannon. So many people are afraid that admitting they have a problem will somehow make them less in other people’s eyes, so many worry that their livelihood is at stake. Your story shows that getting help is the strongest thing a person can do and having your life back is possible.
Then, without warning, OCD began robbing Shannon of himself. Like many OCD sufferers, he developed a variety of compulsions including mistaking everyday objects along the side of the road for dead bodies, worrying that parked cars could contain injured people, needing to make sure that people were treating their children properly, and the dreaded hand washing routine. Often, it took Shannon hours to just get to work.
Terrified that admitting that he had a problem meant he’d lose his livelihood, Shannon tried everything to fight his compulsions. Fortunately, he eventually found help. Through medication and behavioral modification, he came to grips with OCD. Today, he is medication free and handles any stray OCD thoughts with a series of steps that he shares with other OCD sufferers.
Thank you, Shannon. So many people are afraid that admitting they have a problem will somehow make them less in other people’s eyes, so many worry that their livelihood is at stake. Your story shows that getting help is the strongest thing a person can do and having your life back is possible.
August 4, 2015
This autobiographical account, mixed with the author's personal tips for battling O.C.D., is a great, short read that can encourage people that have the disease or people that know someone with it. I have O.C.D., but by the time I read the book, I had long dealt with my fears. For me, it was a good reminder of what I've been through and the strategies that worked the first time. It even helped a little when I was starting to experience problems again. Shannon reveals how many thoughts he struggled with and how painful it can be. Ultimately though, "It'll Be Okay" is optimistic, showing that it's possible to live with O.C.D. and even live without having symptoms every day. I know from personal experience that behavioral therapy works and this book confirms that. I recommend it for people with O.C.D. that are proactive about wanting to get better and to people that want to learn about O.C.D.
September 11, 2014
Short; I'd have liked a more memoir-length/depth account of his struggles with OCD. The initial chapter kind of turned me off because of his nearly singular focus on his career--it read like a resume. I wanted to know how OCD affected his LIFE, his relationships with his wife, kids, friends, his enjoyment (or inability to enjoy) things like his kids' activities, a nice dinner out, or a vacation. I found it pretty amazing that he was able to overcome his very extreme OCD and is now virtually symptom-free without medication. If only we could all be so driven to overcome our personal demons!
July 17, 2013
Honestly, I think this is one of my favorite books ever. It's short and to the point, the point being: It'll Be Okay. Shy wrote this book as if speaking directly to you, and the personal experiences of this book truly make you feel less alone.
I highly recommend this book to anyone with doubts about their Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, because this book gives hope. Just writing this review makes me want to sit down and read it again.
I highly recommend this book to anyone with doubts about their Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, because this book gives hope. Just writing this review makes me want to sit down and read it again.
March 7, 2013
For an OCD person it's very important to be able to connect with other people that have OCD because it makes you feel like you're not alone in this battle. Even though I shared none of Shannon Shy's obsessions/compulsions, I can totally relate to his logic. This book is very important to me because it has given me tools in how to fight my own battle against OCD!
January 24, 2011
Anyone who struggles with OCD should read this story - great to read about a real person who has learned to live with OCD and without medication.
March 23, 2011
Every OCD sufferer needs to read this.
February 7, 2012
Good reminder that you aren't alone and also helpful to hear someone else's experiences.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews