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A Mother's Book of Secrets
Looking for some secrets to make being a mom more fun and rewarding? In this charming new book, mother- and- daughter team Linda Eyre (mother of nine) and Shawni Eyre Pothier (mother of five) share some great ideas. Looking back with the perspective of a lifetime of mothering, Linda is uniquely positioned to share the insights she has gained, with a gentle reminder that those seemingly endless trenches of motherhood will be gone before you know it. Shawni, with her little ones still at home, speaks to all young mothers, offering encouragement and support in a friendly, conversational style. She reminds us that kids are like puzzles you just have to figure them out! Filled with entertaining stories of the ups and downs all mothers experience, accompanied by enchanting full- color photographic portraits, A Mother s Book of Secrets won t be a secret for long.
176 pages, Hardcover
First published April 1, 2009
11 people are currently reading
465 people want to read
About the author
Linda Eyre
67 books39 followersAs writers, lecturers, and grassroots and media catalysts, Linda and Richard Eyre's mission statement is: FORTIFY FAMILIES by Popularizing Parenting, Validating Values, and Bolstering Balance. Their latest efforts in these directions are their new books, The Happy Family (St. Martins Press,), Empty Nest Parenting (Bookcraft,) and The Book of Nurturing (McGraw Hill,), and their regular appearances on The CBS Early Show.
Linda is a teacher and musician who was named by The National Council of Women as one of America's Six Outstanding Young Women. Largely because of her, the Eyre family was named the Western U. S. "Musical Family of the Year."
Richard and Linda have nine children (one of every kind) and live in Washington, D.C. and Salt Lake City.
Linda is a teacher and musician who was named by The National Council of Women as one of America's Six Outstanding Young Women. Largely because of her, the Eyre family was named the Western U. S. "Musical Family of the Year."
Richard and Linda have nine children (one of every kind) and live in Washington, D.C. and Salt Lake City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 144 reviews
September 9, 2010
There are several gems I've found in the reading of this lovely little book. One is the image of children as a seed. In the Nature/Nurture debate, we get caught up in which force has the most influence. I like how Linda Eyre views it. We come as a seed, destined to be the thing we ARE. But, the type of light, water, and soil we encounter will determine how well we develop and reach our potential. A rosebush can't be a cactus, but it can grow large or small and have many blooms or few, depending on the environment. Parents, schools, peers, the world at large will alter that environment, but ultimately, we can't make a child into something s/he isn't.
May 29, 2009
This book has some of the best ideas for families. It is a mother that had 9 children and one of her daughters who now has 5 children. They share things that have been successful in their families. I have implemented 2 of the ideas and have a list of other things to try after we have these two down.
March 5, 2013
Such a wonderful book. Recommend to mamamas and dadadads.
December 27, 2018
A quick read with lots of great secrets for mother's. I love how real Shawni is and appreciated her honesty, also love her blog (71toes.com)
*Part 1: Look for light in the trenches by realizing those seemingly endless trenches will be gone before you know it.
•There is always a never ending list of things to do or accomplish but are we truly successful if we don't notice the little things and savor moments. "Not only notice the delight in our children's eyes, but to help create that delight." ... The secret is to savor the crazy and/or mandane.
•A little imagination can get you through the trenches. Story if dad and "mirror land."
•Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones: and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily tasks, hi to sleep in peace. Good is awake." -Victor Hugo
•"A beautiful piece of fine pottery could be easily chipped and broken were it not for the blazing fire of the kiln that toughens and strengthens and refines it. And though mother's the world over feel chipped and broken on a daily basis, it is their very trials and difficulties that toughen, strengthen, and refine them." Linda Eyre
•Enough is enough. "There's not much more that can give our kids confidence and encouragement than spending time with a mother who loves them." Shawni
*Part 2: "Have an organized offense before serious defense becomes necessary.
•Make a plan to help you progress as a person. (sunday session, a day away, home career seminars)
•Create a family mission statement and family laws, define your family's goals and purpose.
•Make family dinnertime a priority. (happiest and sads)
•Family traditions tie love strings around your family.
•Take time to review. (Five-Facet Review: physically, mentally, socially, emotionally and spiritually)
•Take time to create memories even when it's not easy or requires a lot of work.
*Part 3: Analyze how to make things better
•Say "No" every once in awhile and make room for "Yes."
•"Most of the time when you want change, it's you that has to change first."
•Be your own kind of "best mom."
•Make your spouse #1, make dating a priority.
•Mother's need to have their own passions!
•Attitude makes a difference, it can change the outcome of an entire day.
*Part 4: Kids are like puzzles...how to make their pieces fit together.
•Children are like seedlings, it's our job to nurture them and help them bloom.
•Be thankful for your version if "real life" and appreciate the learning through the ups and downs.
•We are the experts of our children, trust yourself.
*Part 5: Give ownership, it's the solution to most kids problems.
•"Ownership is key to changing your job description as a parent from taskmaster, referee, and drill sargeant to one of consultant.
•Help children set their own goals.
•Teaching kids hard work will help them weather the storms they will face.
•Work with children on writing out "decisions in advance."
•Teach children the value of money, how to clean and work hard and how to serve.
*Part 1: Look for light in the trenches by realizing those seemingly endless trenches will be gone before you know it.
•There is always a never ending list of things to do or accomplish but are we truly successful if we don't notice the little things and savor moments. "Not only notice the delight in our children's eyes, but to help create that delight." ... The secret is to savor the crazy and/or mandane.
•A little imagination can get you through the trenches. Story if dad and "mirror land."
•Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones: and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily tasks, hi to sleep in peace. Good is awake." -Victor Hugo
•"A beautiful piece of fine pottery could be easily chipped and broken were it not for the blazing fire of the kiln that toughens and strengthens and refines it. And though mother's the world over feel chipped and broken on a daily basis, it is their very trials and difficulties that toughen, strengthen, and refine them." Linda Eyre
•Enough is enough. "There's not much more that can give our kids confidence and encouragement than spending time with a mother who loves them." Shawni
*Part 2: "Have an organized offense before serious defense becomes necessary.
•Make a plan to help you progress as a person. (sunday session, a day away, home career seminars)
•Create a family mission statement and family laws, define your family's goals and purpose.
•Make family dinnertime a priority. (happiest and sads)
•Family traditions tie love strings around your family.
•Take time to review. (Five-Facet Review: physically, mentally, socially, emotionally and spiritually)
•Take time to create memories even when it's not easy or requires a lot of work.
*Part 3: Analyze how to make things better
•Say "No" every once in awhile and make room for "Yes."
•"Most of the time when you want change, it's you that has to change first."
•Be your own kind of "best mom."
•Make your spouse #1, make dating a priority.
•Mother's need to have their own passions!
•Attitude makes a difference, it can change the outcome of an entire day.
*Part 4: Kids are like puzzles...how to make their pieces fit together.
•Children are like seedlings, it's our job to nurture them and help them bloom.
•Be thankful for your version if "real life" and appreciate the learning through the ups and downs.
•We are the experts of our children, trust yourself.
*Part 5: Give ownership, it's the solution to most kids problems.
•"Ownership is key to changing your job description as a parent from taskmaster, referee, and drill sargeant to one of consultant.
•Help children set their own goals.
•Teaching kids hard work will help them weather the storms they will face.
•Work with children on writing out "decisions in advance."
•Teach children the value of money, how to clean and work hard and how to serve.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 28, 2021
This is a feel-good parenting book with both general and specific ideas given in really small bites in the various chapters. It is different than the longer, research-based type of parenting book I typically gravitate toward, AND I really liked it! I found it enjoyable and helpful to think about the bite-size ideas, big and small, whether or not I want to apply every idea specifically to my life. If you like reading parenting books and longer, research-based books aren't as much your thing - or if they are your thing but a short, feel-good book with applicable ideas sounds nice - I liked this one!
April 19, 2020
I loved this book! I follow shawni's blog eleven years after this book was written and she knows what she is talking about! She and her mom have the best advice to be a better mother and wife. I've already implemented some of their ideas and it's made me better. I'm definitely going to buy this book to use as a reference manual.
March 14, 2019
Great reminders and cute stories. Looking forward to hearing from them during the I am mom summit too.
February 26, 2024
I love the tone of this book. Lots of good ideas by tried and true moms but not pushy. I love that there are two different approaches that accomplish the same thing. It be cute.
September 1, 2009
A book by the Eyre's, this time a mother daughter team. I picked it up, largely because of the good things I've found in using their joy school curriculum and parenting tips at valuesparenting.com. I highly recommend this read to anyone not familiar with their ideas. They know their stuff.
For that very reason, bits and pieces of it were repetitive for me. Mostly I wanted to take notes on the sections written by Linda. I love when she would wrap up a section with some great ideas on keeping order in the home or dissolving sibling rivalry with something like, "we tried dozens of methods. Do whatever works, good luck with that!" Isn't that just the truth? There is no perfect secret that is going to change things that just ARE. She had a great take on the adventure of motherhood, craziness and problems is just part of what we sign up for.
I didn't enjoy as much the Shawni sections, probably because she is in about the same stage of motherhood as myself, and a lot of her ideas are the same realizations I'm coming to in my own way. I tired of the phrase "amazing mother," and she sometimes seemed to be excelling in all the ways that I'm not, but that could have been just me being envious. :o) I liked her sections on letting perfection go, deciding to have a good attitude in the home (because honestly moms, that is ALL up to us), and keeping things simple.
The mini-essay format of this was perfect, making it a perfect book to have lying around for busy moms. It was nice to just squeeze in reading a section or two before bed.
For that very reason, bits and pieces of it were repetitive for me. Mostly I wanted to take notes on the sections written by Linda. I love when she would wrap up a section with some great ideas on keeping order in the home or dissolving sibling rivalry with something like, "we tried dozens of methods. Do whatever works, good luck with that!" Isn't that just the truth? There is no perfect secret that is going to change things that just ARE. She had a great take on the adventure of motherhood, craziness and problems is just part of what we sign up for.
I didn't enjoy as much the Shawni sections, probably because she is in about the same stage of motherhood as myself, and a lot of her ideas are the same realizations I'm coming to in my own way. I tired of the phrase "amazing mother," and she sometimes seemed to be excelling in all the ways that I'm not, but that could have been just me being envious. :o) I liked her sections on letting perfection go, deciding to have a good attitude in the home (because honestly moms, that is ALL up to us), and keeping things simple.
The mini-essay format of this was perfect, making it a perfect book to have lying around for busy moms. It was nice to just squeeze in reading a section or two before bed.
March 19, 2013
I really liked parts of this book, and only kind of liked others. At one point Shawni points out "library moms," the ones with children who are speaking in whispers at the library and are well groomed and happy. She says she's not a "library mom" and I think one of the big secrets missing in this book is that none of us are "library moms." We have good days, and good moments, but it's ridiculous to think that anyone has it together all of the time. That's not real. So rather than being disgusted with that mom who has children behaving well, while ours are looking like they've been in a tiger's cage, let's give her a little cheer for teaching her children good manners, and be proud of her success rather than hating her. Because the next day, those same kids might be in their pj's at the grocery store, running around like wild animals, with snot smeared across their cheeks, and remnants of cheerios stuck in their hair. I also struggle with some of the ideas concerning money, but I'm really excited about others. I think the thing I want to implement the most from this book is doing a five-faceted review of each of my kids with my husband. We talk about the kids all the time, we discuss concerns, but I feel like we could be more proactive in our approach. It's worth the read, and they even suggest taking only what works for you.
January 5, 2011
Loved it. So much insight and practicality. Short and to the point (my kind of self-help book). Ideas of how to help your children in so many areas: money, work, talks about sex, dinnertime. And ideas of how to enjoy the process of being a mother by being organized, creative, setting goals as a family, having mission statements and traditions.
I loved how the chapters went back and forth between the mother and daughter authors.
One of my favorite quotes:
"There is strength to be gained in soaking in the little moments. Strength comes from dropping everything and reading with your nine-year-old because you realize she's more important than any other project you may be working on. From watching two of your children who are usually at each other's throats on a day when they're getting along. From watching the glow on your child's face when his dad praises him for mowing the lawn well. From letting yourself get caught up in the music your toddlers are dancing to in pure delight. That strength - and how to build it - is all part of the secret of enjoying and loving life as a mother of small children, a lassoer of chaos."
Every mom should read it.
I loved how the chapters went back and forth between the mother and daughter authors.
One of my favorite quotes:
"There is strength to be gained in soaking in the little moments. Strength comes from dropping everything and reading with your nine-year-old because you realize she's more important than any other project you may be working on. From watching two of your children who are usually at each other's throats on a day when they're getting along. From watching the glow on your child's face when his dad praises him for mowing the lawn well. From letting yourself get caught up in the music your toddlers are dancing to in pure delight. That strength - and how to build it - is all part of the secret of enjoying and loving life as a mother of small children, a lassoer of chaos."
Every mom should read it.
May 21, 2009
Please note that this book is co-authored by Shawni Pothier, Linda Eyre's daughter. Why Goodreads has it wrong is beyond me, but VERY irritating, as this is one of the main reasons to read this book.
1) Linda Eyre was a key author in my life, in helping me find the way to become the kind of mom I wanted to be. She gave me hope years before I became a mom, and afterwards, as well. Her insights were completely born of real life, not theory. To now have a book written with her daughter, Shawni Pothier, is as they say, priceless.
2) This book balances chapters, the wisdom of a mom who has decades of experience (Linda) and a mom who is dealing with mom-life in the trenches (Shawni.)
3) Not to mention Shawni's fantastic photographs.... (if their gorgeous factor is intimidating, think about your own kids when they are sleeping or being unbelievably cute.)
4) A lovely Mom read!
1) Linda Eyre was a key author in my life, in helping me find the way to become the kind of mom I wanted to be. She gave me hope years before I became a mom, and afterwards, as well. Her insights were completely born of real life, not theory. To now have a book written with her daughter, Shawni Pothier, is as they say, priceless.
2) This book balances chapters, the wisdom of a mom who has decades of experience (Linda) and a mom who is dealing with mom-life in the trenches (Shawni.)
3) Not to mention Shawni's fantastic photographs.... (if their gorgeous factor is intimidating, think about your own kids when they are sleeping or being unbelievably cute.)
4) A lovely Mom read!
February 21, 2011
I LOVE Linda Eyre--her books have encouraged me and given me hope and knowledge in motherhood. This little gem, written with her daughter, Shawni Pothier, will give you what you need to be the best mom you can be. I liked the parts written by Linda best, probably because she has way more experience, but both women have created a beautiful book that will help any mother to find joy in their children and in their role as a mother. Organized into five sections, the book is intended to help mothers maintain perspective, create a home where children can grow physically/emotionally/spiritually, give mothers tools to help them parent effectively, and help mothers help their children to become the best people they can be. You will probably see yourself and your family in many of the situations described, and you will also discover that you're doing better than you thought you were.
March 23, 2011
I had an order from Deseret Book that needed $6 more for free shipping, so I tagged this one on. I'm always looking for good ideas for getting my kids to cooperate. So I read it, and there were many good ideas. But somehow Linda Eyre's tone left me feeling guilty (probably because I have a totally different personality, and staying organized is a real challenge for me). I'm pretty sure I'll never do many of the things they suggest, like weekly family meetings (on top of FHE? wow., and monthly 5 facet reviews with each of my children, we're just not that structured), however, some of the ideas for chores, whining, etc. seem to be really good. I also like how they emphasize that nothing is ever going to be perfect, but you have to roll with it and take in the moments. I am definitely a work in progress as a mother, so back to work I go.
September 30, 2010
Okay, so I'm ALMOST done with this book and I just love it! These women are so REAL. Linda is a mother of 9 and has written many other books that I look forward to reading. Shawni Eyre Pothier is mother of 5 and has some pretty funny stories. They both have some great little ideas on making the most of your short time to spend with your children. Great ideas for seeing the positive, having an organized "offense", analyzing how you are doing as a wife and mother, figuring out your children and making great memories, and helping them learn to work hard, set golas, make choices, deal with money, serve, etc. This is definitely worth the short read and is now in my top 5 books for parenting!
June 12, 2012
Mother's Book of Secrets is written by Linda Eyre and her daughter Shawni Pothier. I really enjoyed the quick chapters and beautiful photography. They gave sweet little bits of advice on topics like: children and money, order, traditions, prayer, mission statements, being organized, chores, family laws, meetings and more.
I especially loved the chapter "You Are The Expert."
I also loved one of their ideas for maintaining order: If a child leaves something out, then mom takes it and puts it in a basket. If the child wants the item back he/she must pay (with his her own money) to get the item back. The amount of money is predetermined by the family. The money that mom collects at the end of the week/month is used for a family activity: ice cream, rent a movie...
I especially loved the chapter "You Are The Expert."
I also loved one of their ideas for maintaining order: If a child leaves something out, then mom takes it and puts it in a basket. If the child wants the item back he/she must pay (with his her own money) to get the item back. The amount of money is predetermined by the family. The money that mom collects at the end of the week/month is used for a family activity: ice cream, rent a movie...
June 6, 2015
I kind of didn't want to read this book because I thought it would make me feel bad about my many parental shortcomings. But I ended up LOVING it and cried on nearly every page (in a good way). Written by a mother of nine grown children and her oldest daughter, herself a mother of five young children, each chapter alternates authors and perspectives. It's full of encouragement and really practical, applicable ideas, and is overall really inspiring and uplifting. Read it even if you hate parenting books! You'll love it and it will remind you of all the reasons to love being a mother even on the very worst of days.
June 2, 2009
I bought this book for myself. The cover and photos are what enticed me to buy it. However, I found myself keeping a little list of advice that I wanted to try, quotes that I enjoyed and photos that I would try to copy with my family.
This book was a little treasure that I would keep in my car and read as I was waiting in the carpool line to pick up my kids from school. It gave me a pick me up when I needed it.
Okay...so what if some of it was advice we've heard before....I hadn't heard all of it and I appreciated the beautiful moments that were shared with us.
Bravo and thank you to Linda and Shawnie.
This book was a little treasure that I would keep in my car and read as I was waiting in the carpool line to pick up my kids from school. It gave me a pick me up when I needed it.
Okay...so what if some of it was advice we've heard before....I hadn't heard all of it and I appreciated the beautiful moments that were shared with us.
Bravo and thank you to Linda and Shawnie.
May 18, 2009
Here's the problem I have with Linda Eyre recounting her own experiences with raising about a gazillion children: Even though she talks about how parenting is hard and sometimes you're frustrated, etc., I always get the underlying message that actually it's all blissful and if you can't manage to always be cheery while raising an entire sports team, you just aren't good enough. I know it's not intended, but somehow it's what I get from her. So after about 20 pages of feeling guilty, I decided I didn't need that in my life anymore. I like other parenting memoirs better, though I can't pinpoint exactly what the difference is.
December 13, 2009
This has been my favorite parenting book I've ever read. I love that the authors just tell it like it is and don't sugar coat the reality of parenthood. The stories are great and the suggestions are fabulous. After reading this book, it made me want to try so much harder and have a whole bunch of kids, so watch out. I wanted to be an honorary member of the Eyre family and go on vacation with them. I follow Shawni's blog now and if you want to help a good cause, all the proceeds from the book sales go to research for blindness, since the little girl, and the daughter of the author, has a genetic disorder that will cause her to go blind in a couple of years.
August 5, 2011
There are some great parenting tips in this book. Some of the "secrets" though, I felt the daughter was slightly underqualified to be authoring for. I was reading her description of a "bad" day and thinking she can't even relate to me at all if this is what a bad day is for her. That's at best an average day for me. Forget having a dishwasher and swimming pool or children old enough to put dirty dishes into an already clean dishwasher. I appreciated her attempt to try to see out of the box, but it still felt like she lived a fairly sheltered life. Linda, however, had more experience to draw from and I really felt like I gained a lot from her chapters.
December 11, 2012
this is a fun read with plenty of good ideas about parenting, organized into short little chapters (just a couple of pages) perfect for reading one or two at a time. I started it once, then started over with a highlighter. once in a while, I felt a bit overwhelmed/depressed that my parenting isn't up to their HIGH level, but for the most part, it was encouraging. some of my new year's resolutions will see definitely come from here.
(why doesn't the goodeads app automatically capitalize the start of sentences? what is this? 2005? now my texts have better punctuation than my book reviews! not that I'm going to manually capitalize to fix it...)
(why doesn't the goodeads app automatically capitalize the start of sentences? what is this? 2005? now my texts have better punctuation than my book reviews! not that I'm going to manually capitalize to fix it...)
May 21, 2009
I served in Romania with Shawni, so I picked it up. It isn't anything really new, but it has some good reminders of things we often forget. Upon finishing it, I did learn quite a few new things. The most important of which is the significance of planning. I'm sure that I am the only one, but I get so caught up in the moment that never seems to stop that I don't plan what I want the future to be. And most importantly I don't look forward to the things I really need to teach my children in order for them to become their best.
January 21, 2010
I really enjoyed reading this book. It gave me lots of great mommy ideas as well as reminding me of what motherhood is all about. I'm now reading a section a night with my husband because I think a lot of the information is beneficial for both parents to hear. The book reminded me of a lesson on prayer at church. I have heard lessons on prayer all my life but than every so often one particular lesson will really stand out to me and speak to me in a new way. I felt this book captured that feeling of rediscovering things I already know but I now see through new eyes.
May 29, 2011
I got this book as a gift for Mother's Day and really liked it. It was organized in sections and within each section there were several stories that shared "tips" from either Linda Eyre, or her daughter, Shawni. It was a perfect book to read here and there when I had an extra minute or two. The tips motivated me to be the best mom I can be and got me excited about things I can do to be better. It was also reassuring to know that I'm not the only one that gets exasperated at being a mother at times.
August 25, 2011
I like Linda Eyre's books very much, but found her daughter's two cents to be irritating. It was a bit braggy, overly writerly, too feel good, and frankly not helpful. Several ideas that Linda shares are also included in other books (I didn't plan to be a witch, or Teaching children...), but they are a good reminder. I admire that they tried to write a book together - it's sweet. But the "secrets" are mostly just common sense, or read like journal entries I couldn't much relate to. Glad I borrowed this one instead of bought it.
June 17, 2009
This is a great book of ideas and experiences written by a mother-daughter pair. The book had a lot of great ideas, presented as suggestions to be adapted to your own family needs and situations. Some of the systems Linda Eyre uses are just not my personality, but it was fun to see how other moms organize.
There are a lot of good, gentle reminders in this book of the importance of mothering and of remembering to enjoy the trenches because they don't last.
There are a lot of good, gentle reminders in this book of the importance of mothering and of remembering to enjoy the trenches because they don't last.
November 17, 2009
Any mother should read this to have some new wonderful parenting insights brought into their life. I marked several ideas down that I would like to try with my children. These range from how to deal with "the talk" to allowance ideas to sharing happy and sads with each other at dinner. Pretty much an inspirational book written by two mothers who have been there and know what you feel like on those days when you just don't have any energy left to keep going!
January 9, 2010
This was my bathroom reading for awhile. It was perfect cuz each section was a page or 2 or 3 at most. :) I loved all the great ideas to make my relationship with Hailee and future kids more meaningful. Also loved the ideas on teaching values like hard work, ownership, responsibility, etc. This is definitely a keeper I will refer back to a lot! Also, the photographs throughout are beautiful! Wish I could take photos like that!
November 20, 2015
I have been working on this book for a long time. I stopped reading it because I felt like the parts from Linda were a little condescending. But I decided it was time to finish, even though I mostly had to start over. I really like the parts by Shawni. She seemed much more my type of person and her suggestions seemed very helpful to me. Overall there are some great ideas in this book, but Linda kind of rubbed me the wrong way I guess.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 144 reviews