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The Good Humor Man: Or, Calorie 3501
In this satiric romp inspired by Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, set in 2041, government-sanctioned vigilantes—the Good Humor Men—ruthlessly patrol the streets, immolating all fattening food products as illegal contraband. A pound of real chocolate is worth more on the black market than a kilo of cocaine. Evil “nutraceutical” company MannaSantos controls the food market with genetically modified products, such as “Leanie Lean” meats. But the craze for svelte healthfulness has reached a critical turning point, as a mysterious wasting plague threatens to starve all of humanity.
A lone ex-plastic surgeon and founding Good Humor Man, whose father performed a secret liposuction surgery on Elvis Presley, holds the key to humanity’s future. In a mad dash to retrieve his family heirloom—the mortal remains of the King’s belly fat—Dr. Louis Shmalzberg becomes entangled with a civil servant of questionable motives, an acquisitive assassin from a wealthy Caliphate, a power-mad preacher evangelizing anorexia, a beautiful young woman addicted to liposuction, and a homicidal clone from a MannaSantos experiment gone terribly wrong.
Can Elvis save the world sixty-four years after his death?
A lone ex-plastic surgeon and founding Good Humor Man, whose father performed a secret liposuction surgery on Elvis Presley, holds the key to humanity’s future. In a mad dash to retrieve his family heirloom—the mortal remains of the King’s belly fat—Dr. Louis Shmalzberg becomes entangled with a civil servant of questionable motives, an acquisitive assassin from a wealthy Caliphate, a power-mad preacher evangelizing anorexia, a beautiful young woman addicted to liposuction, and a homicidal clone from a MannaSantos experiment gone terribly wrong.
Can Elvis save the world sixty-four years after his death?
282 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
7 people are currently reading
231 people want to read
About the author
Andrew Fox
48 books36 followersAndrew Fox was born in Miami Beach in 1964. He has been a fan of science fiction and horror since he saw Godzilla and friends romp through Destroy All Monsters at the drive-in theater at the age of three. In 1994, he joined award-winning science fiction author George Alec Effinger's monthly writing workshop group in New Orleans, where Andrew lived for more than two decades. Since 2009, he has lived in Northern Virginia with his wife and three boys, where he works for a federal law enforcement agency.
His first novel, Fat White Vampire Blues, published by Ballantine Books in 2003, was widely described as "Anne Rice meets A Confederacy of Dunces." It won the Ruthven Award for Best Vampire Fiction of 2003. Its sequel, Bride of the Fat White Vampire, was published in 2004. His third novel, The Good Humor Man, or, Calorie 3501, was published by Tachyon Publications in April, 2009. It was selected by Booklist as one of the Ten Best SF/Fantasy Novels of the Year and was first runner up for the Darrell Award, presented for best SF or fantasy novel written by a Mid-South author or set in the Mid-South. In 2006, he was one of the three winners of the Moment Magazine-Karma Foundation Short Fiction Award.
Andrew is an outspoken advocate for freedom of speech and thought in science fiction. MonstraCity Press is publishing two volumes of short fiction that, in the tradition of Harlan Ellison's groundbreaking anthologies Dangerous Visions and Again, Dangerous Visions, push the boundaries of what is considered taboo in science fiction. The first volume, Hazardous Imaginings: The Mondo Book of Politically Incorrect Science Fiction, includes two of Andrew's short novels and three of his stories. The second volume, Again, Hazardous Imaginings, features 14 stories by writers from all over the world. Science fiction is not a safe space!
MonstraCity Press has published Fire on Iron (Book One of Midnight's Inferno: the August Micholson Chronicles), a steampunk dark fantasy novel set aboard ironclad gunboats during the Civil War, and will publish the second book in the series, Hellfire and Damnation, in 2023. MonstraCity Press has also published the third book in the Fat White Vampire series, Fat White Vampire Otaku, and the fourth book in the series, Hunt the Fat White Vampire, both in 2021. The Bad Luck Spirits' Social Aid and Pleasure Club, a fantasy novel which intertwines a supernatural secret history of New Orleans with Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath, also came out in 2021; this is a tie-in to the Fat White Vampire series.
In 2022, Potomac Books, an imprint of The University of Nebraska Press, published Andrew's first non-fiction book, The Devil's Toy Box: Exposing and Defusing Promethean Terrorists. In 2023, Agaddah Try It, an imprint of Madness Heart Press, published his novel The End of Daze, an eschatological satire that presents the end times from an off-kilter Jewish perspective.
Andrew's other jobs have been varied. He has worked at a children's psychiatric center, managed a statewide supplemental nutrition program for senior citizens, taught musical theater and improv to children, and sold Saturn cars and trucks (just before the automotive division was abolished by General Motors). He has also been a mime (in his younger days) and produced a multi-sensory interactive play for blind children in New Orleans.
Andrew Fox's website and blog can be found at:
www.fantasticalandrewfox.com
The latest information about MonstraCity Press books can be found at:
www.monstracitypress.com
His first novel, Fat White Vampire Blues, published by Ballantine Books in 2003, was widely described as "Anne Rice meets A Confederacy of Dunces." It won the Ruthven Award for Best Vampire Fiction of 2003. Its sequel, Bride of the Fat White Vampire, was published in 2004. His third novel, The Good Humor Man, or, Calorie 3501, was published by Tachyon Publications in April, 2009. It was selected by Booklist as one of the Ten Best SF/Fantasy Novels of the Year and was first runner up for the Darrell Award, presented for best SF or fantasy novel written by a Mid-South author or set in the Mid-South. In 2006, he was one of the three winners of the Moment Magazine-Karma Foundation Short Fiction Award.
Andrew is an outspoken advocate for freedom of speech and thought in science fiction. MonstraCity Press is publishing two volumes of short fiction that, in the tradition of Harlan Ellison's groundbreaking anthologies Dangerous Visions and Again, Dangerous Visions, push the boundaries of what is considered taboo in science fiction. The first volume, Hazardous Imaginings: The Mondo Book of Politically Incorrect Science Fiction, includes two of Andrew's short novels and three of his stories. The second volume, Again, Hazardous Imaginings, features 14 stories by writers from all over the world. Science fiction is not a safe space!
MonstraCity Press has published Fire on Iron (Book One of Midnight's Inferno: the August Micholson Chronicles), a steampunk dark fantasy novel set aboard ironclad gunboats during the Civil War, and will publish the second book in the series, Hellfire and Damnation, in 2023. MonstraCity Press has also published the third book in the Fat White Vampire series, Fat White Vampire Otaku, and the fourth book in the series, Hunt the Fat White Vampire, both in 2021. The Bad Luck Spirits' Social Aid and Pleasure Club, a fantasy novel which intertwines a supernatural secret history of New Orleans with Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath, also came out in 2021; this is a tie-in to the Fat White Vampire series.
In 2022, Potomac Books, an imprint of The University of Nebraska Press, published Andrew's first non-fiction book, The Devil's Toy Box: Exposing and Defusing Promethean Terrorists. In 2023, Agaddah Try It, an imprint of Madness Heart Press, published his novel The End of Daze, an eschatological satire that presents the end times from an off-kilter Jewish perspective.
Andrew's other jobs have been varied. He has worked at a children's psychiatric center, managed a statewide supplemental nutrition program for senior citizens, taught musical theater and improv to children, and sold Saturn cars and trucks (just before the automotive division was abolished by General Motors). He has also been a mime (in his younger days) and produced a multi-sensory interactive play for blind children in New Orleans.
Andrew Fox's website and blog can be found at:
www.fantasticalandrewfox.com
The latest information about MonstraCity Press books can be found at:
www.monstracitypress.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
October 10, 2009
My favorite book in the entire world is Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates by Tom Robbins. I fell in love with that book the first time I read it years ago, and I keep revisiting it over and over again. Every time I read it, though, I take something new away from it, whether its the musical language of the book, the hilarity of the storyline, the incredibly serious themes, the outrageous characters, or just the overall experience of reading it.
I had exactly the same experience reading The Good Humor Man. There's definitely plenty of comedy to be had here. although it's definitely of the funny hmm hmm and not the funny ha ha variety. The cast of characters is colorful in the extreme: Dr. Louis Schmalzberg, an aging plastic surgeon who joined the Good Humor Men, a band of dudes who confiscate "bad" food and your health insurance while they're at it, after the death of his wife from cancer. There's Margo, a reclaimed member of a liposuction cult, Eric Trotmann, the leader of said liposuction cult, Oretha Denoux, the driving force behind keeping Carnival alive in New Orleans after all fatty foods and their associated debauchery were banned, and many, many others.
What really resonated with me, though, was the artful way that Mr. Fox used all the absurdity to tell a truly frightening story. If you're a conspiracy theorist, you'll definitely want your tin foil hat before reading this book, and if reading the book left you without anythin to consider, you might want to consider reading it again. Seriously.
The themes and issues that come up in the story are as far-reaching as, what impact does Elvis and his memory have on the American psyche? Is fat (the substance) really as diabolical as we all think? Do we really know how relying on technology for quick fixes for our problems is going to affect the future? What will limited biodiversity mean for us in the future? What happens when you realize you've been living a lie?
I seriously could go on and on and on about this book, but the highest recommendation I can give it is this: read The Good Humor Man when you are ready for something totally different and are bored with what you've been reading. You won't want to put the book down until it's over, and even then you'll want to read it again. I got this copy from the library and I'll be adding it to my keeper pile in the near future.
Overall Grade: A
Read more reviews at What Book is That?
I had exactly the same experience reading The Good Humor Man. There's definitely plenty of comedy to be had here. although it's definitely of the funny hmm hmm and not the funny ha ha variety. The cast of characters is colorful in the extreme: Dr. Louis Schmalzberg, an aging plastic surgeon who joined the Good Humor Men, a band of dudes who confiscate "bad" food and your health insurance while they're at it, after the death of his wife from cancer. There's Margo, a reclaimed member of a liposuction cult, Eric Trotmann, the leader of said liposuction cult, Oretha Denoux, the driving force behind keeping Carnival alive in New Orleans after all fatty foods and their associated debauchery were banned, and many, many others.
What really resonated with me, though, was the artful way that Mr. Fox used all the absurdity to tell a truly frightening story. If you're a conspiracy theorist, you'll definitely want your tin foil hat before reading this book, and if reading the book left you without anythin to consider, you might want to consider reading it again. Seriously.
The themes and issues that come up in the story are as far-reaching as, what impact does Elvis and his memory have on the American psyche? Is fat (the substance) really as diabolical as we all think? Do we really know how relying on technology for quick fixes for our problems is going to affect the future? What will limited biodiversity mean for us in the future? What happens when you realize you've been living a lie?
I seriously could go on and on and on about this book, but the highest recommendation I can give it is this: read The Good Humor Man when you are ready for something totally different and are bored with what you've been reading. You won't want to put the book down until it's over, and even then you'll want to read it again. I got this copy from the library and I'll be adding it to my keeper pile in the near future.
Overall Grade: A
Read more reviews at What Book is That?
November 7, 2022
A pleasant surprise and maybe my favorite of my thrift store finds this year. It's clever, funny, but also thoughtful and touching at times. It clearly takes inspiration from Farehenit 451 and you can see the influence without it feeling like a copied novel entirely. It's not quite as good as Farenheit 451, but it holds it's own ground fairly well. The mythos of Elvis being about duality worked well with the take of food of being dangerous but also culturally important (along with pleasure being important).
It's a novel written by a presumably white cis straight man in 2007 and it reads like one. Every character of color is just shy of being a complete stereotype. The three most important female characters are all sexually tied to the main character. Queer characters are nonexistent. But it feels weird to target this book specifically for what was a standard of the time and genre (unfortunately).
A fun speculative fiction read if not necessarily the best one.
It's a novel written by a presumably white cis straight man in 2007 and it reads like one. Every character of color is just shy of being a complete stereotype. The three most important female characters are all sexually tied to the main character. Queer characters are nonexistent. But it feels weird to target this book specifically for what was a standard of the time and genre (unfortunately).
A fun speculative fiction read if not necessarily the best one.
July 29, 2014
This novel explores the relationships between obesity, government health care, pop culture, and body image. In a world where chocolate is worth more than cocaine on the black market, government-sanctioned vigilantes known as Good Humor Men patrol the streets, seeking to immolate all fattening food products as illegal contraband and cancel the health insurance of any offenders. This is a very strange book and not very humorous.
August 8, 2017
I have weirdly mixed feelings about this Sci-Fi book. The writing is really well done, and I enjoyed the premise, reminiscent of Fahrenheit 451, but there were occasions where the storyline got to the point where it was laugh out loud absurd. I thought while reading that this would be a good Book Club recommendation, if you can get past the oddness. It is thought provoking, in the way that the US, and spreading to the world, has an obesity problem, and what if the Government took extreme measures to fix that problem. It would make for great conversation at the club meeting.
PS....I always like to mention when vulgarity is present, in case that impacts someone's book choice. There are two characters, both at the beginning and at the very end who liberally sprinkle their dialogue with words that might offend some readers. The main character doesn't go down that path, and quite a bit of the book happens in self reflection, and from his viewpoint.
PS....I always like to mention when vulgarity is present, in case that impacts someone's book choice. There are two characters, both at the beginning and at the very end who liberally sprinkle their dialogue with words that might offend some readers. The main character doesn't go down that path, and quite a bit of the book happens in self reflection, and from his viewpoint.
October 28, 2013
It's easy to write a flowery review on a book written by a friend a fellow high school classmate with whom we share a lot of memories, but I won't. Instead, I will be honest.
The story read spartan, like a Philip K. Dick novel, except Andrew filled out descriptions of the surroundings much better. I didn't like the premise of how the bio-tech firm at the center of the story was evil. It borrows too much from the ignorant fears that drove so many B Sci-fi/ horror films of the 1950's and beyond.
Still, I enjoyed the story and the interesting twist on how Elvis is so important to a future history. This plot element is worth expanding and exploring in a philosophy class.
I think this story should be adapted into a movie, but not by whoever has been doing some of the movies on SyFy Channel recently . It shouldn't be treated by amateur hands, but by someone skilled in bringing out the seriousness of the story.
The story read spartan, like a Philip K. Dick novel, except Andrew filled out descriptions of the surroundings much better. I didn't like the premise of how the bio-tech firm at the center of the story was evil. It borrows too much from the ignorant fears that drove so many B Sci-fi/ horror films of the 1950's and beyond.
Still, I enjoyed the story and the interesting twist on how Elvis is so important to a future history. This plot element is worth expanding and exploring in a philosophy class.
I think this story should be adapted into a movie, but not by whoever has been doing some of the movies on SyFy Channel recently . It shouldn't be treated by amateur hands, but by someone skilled in bringing out the seriousness of the story.
December 16, 2011
As reviewed for Library Journal:
http://www.libraryjournal.com/article...
The year is 2041. All unhealthy foods have been outlawed in favor of genetically modified low-fat, low-cal substitutes, and government sponsored vigilantes, the Good Humor Men, are responsible for confiscating junk food. Fox’s latest (after Bride of the Fat White Vampire) is a satirical action/adventure comedy in the vein of Christopher Buckley’s Boomsday or Thank You for Smoking—albeit not quite in the same league. For a novel that involves liposuction and Elvis Presley’s bodily tissue, the story is sadly predictable.
Verdict: The action sequences are fast paced and engaging, and there are moments of humor and thoughtfulness, although many readers may be put off by a revealed fetish of the lead character. If this were a movie, it would get a "hard R" from the ratings board.
http://www.libraryjournal.com/article...
February 9, 2012
In the near future, everyone is thin and fattening foods are not only shunned, they're actually illegal (at which point I would kill myself). Good Humor Men live to destroy these evil foods, but Louis Schmaltzberg, original Good Humor Man, retired liposuctionist, and son of the man who liposuctioned Elvis himself, begins to doubt his current career. When a macabre piece of his family legacy draws the attention of a myriad of powers, Louis goes on the run and attempts to save the world.
Fuckin' weird. Not senselessly weird, like Carlton Mellick III (not that he's not incredible in his own right) or British humor (I just don't get that shit) but weird like... I don't know what, exactly. The closest approximation I can come to is... Sideways Stories From Wayside School.
Read the rest of the review here: http://www.bibliobabes.ca/2/post/2012...
Fuckin' weird. Not senselessly weird, like Carlton Mellick III (not that he's not incredible in his own right) or British humor (I just don't get that shit) but weird like... I don't know what, exactly. The closest approximation I can come to is... Sideways Stories From Wayside School.
Read the rest of the review here: http://www.bibliobabes.ca/2/post/2012...
September 29, 2016
Ok so, concept: Due to the obesity epidemic fat and stuff is outlawed and this guy was a plastic surgeon but became a guy whose job it is is to arrest people who have these contraband foods but gets disillusioned by the whole thing.
Me: "Oh cool, so it's about his philosophical views on health and wellness warping with pending mortality-"
No no no it's about him being chased by foreign governments because his dad liposuctioned Elvis once and kept some of his fat.
Me: "....uh...ok so the bad guy are these foreign agents that are looking to do..."
No no no the REAL bad guy is a clone of an obese guy that died like 20 years before the book started who wants to destroy the world.
Me: "I-wait...what-so is fat bad or what?"
We're never gonna resolve that but what I WILL give you is some big-agra GMOs that get out of control that lead to deer starving.
Me: "Literally what is this book about?"
Me: "Oh cool, so it's about his philosophical views on health and wellness warping with pending mortality-"
No no no it's about him being chased by foreign governments because his dad liposuctioned Elvis once and kept some of his fat.
Me: "....uh...ok so the bad guy are these foreign agents that are looking to do..."
No no no the REAL bad guy is a clone of an obese guy that died like 20 years before the book started who wants to destroy the world.
Me: "I-wait...what-so is fat bad or what?"
We're never gonna resolve that but what I WILL give you is some big-agra GMOs that get out of control that lead to deer starving.
Me: "Literally what is this book about?"
August 7, 2016
This book was interesting because it was a modern day Farenheit 451, in a way.
You see, the Good Humor Men go around making sure that food that isn't good for you is not being consumed by anyone. There are strict laws about what foods can be eaten, and which cannot, and those men bust secret parties and revoke health benefits of those caught in the act.
There are religions springing up around Elvis, there is a new epidemic spreading that causes people to have much too high of a metabolism, and there is one Good Humor Man that can sort it all out.
It probably sounds a bit quirky, and it is, but it is well done, and actually makes you think about some stuff.
You see, the Good Humor Men go around making sure that food that isn't good for you is not being consumed by anyone. There are strict laws about what foods can be eaten, and which cannot, and those men bust secret parties and revoke health benefits of those caught in the act.
There are religions springing up around Elvis, there is a new epidemic spreading that causes people to have much too high of a metabolism, and there is one Good Humor Man that can sort it all out.
It probably sounds a bit quirky, and it is, but it is well done, and actually makes you think about some stuff.
December 1, 2010
this was apparently a riff on Farenheit 451, with "unhealthy" food standing in for books, in a future where food engineering, asceticism and health obsession have come together in some sort mass, cultural anorexia. there's also a second great depression in there, an out-of-control engineered gene that is infecting the food supply and causing a wasting disease, and something about elvis. it started out kind of amusing, but i lost interest when the protagonist went on a roadtrip to find a lost jar of liposuctioned elvis fat. i give it a "meh" rating.
May 29, 2009
Nice homage to Bradbury, but with a modern twist using food instead of books. Kinda predictable, at times. But a fun read if you like Bradbury, Orwell, et al. Also, written by a New Orleans guy. I got an autographed copy at Barnes and Noble.
September 3, 2010
This book is ridiculous, but in a good way. It’s a completely unbelievable series of events made plausible in a health-obsessed, eating-disordered future. I love its boisterous satirical note, but I found myself becoming less interested as the climax of the book peeked. I liked the ending, though.
September 15, 2013
I don't think I could write a review better than what's already been said. So I'll just say this -
I mentally retitled the book the entire time as "Bloomberg's Paradise."
(Yes, as in the idiot in New York who keeps trying to ban Big Gulps.)
I mentally retitled the book the entire time as "Bloomberg's Paradise."
(Yes, as in the idiot in New York who keeps trying to ban Big Gulps.)
October 27, 2014
This is an odd setting and odd plot devices. In it's basic form, this is a detective story. However, the main character is not your typical detective/investigator and the missing item is not a typical valuable sought after.
June 26, 2014
Wow. It's been a long time since a book surprised me like this. I expected it to be about one thing and it was about something else. In a good way! I got more than I expected. Definitely recommend this page turner.
March 17, 2015
I liked this book a lot. It was one of those why the hell not amazon daily deals and I have to say I enjoyed it immensely. I think It made me happy that the hero wasn't young and hot but old (an in my head still a little hot).
May 5, 2015
It's ridiculous, it's mean, at times the descriptions are a little sparse but the book itself never feels hollow on content. This could be one of the weirdest books I've ever read.
Government cheese never sounded so disgusting or good.
Government cheese never sounded so disgusting or good.
January 7, 2016
I have never read a book quite like this. I didn't love all of it, but as a whole, and the premise, and the parts that were a bit out there but also all to easy to imagine, and all the twisting parts that came together? Brilliant.
July 20, 2016
I enjoyed almost all of this book. The characters were strange enough to be interesting and the satirical plot line was entertaining. I thought the end of the book was a little too strange and ruined the feel of the book.
December 22, 2016
This book almost scared me skinny. I will now think a lot more about what I eat and what processed food and genetically altered food could eventually become. This is the food version of Fahrenheit 451.
This book was a little goofy, a little convoluted, and a lot of fun to read.
This book was a little goofy, a little convoluted, and a lot of fun to read.
September 1, 2009
Interesting plot idea revolving around the deceased Elvis and big food/gov't conspiracy theory. Fun to read, but fell apart a bit at the end.
March 13, 2010
Will keep you guessing; funny, imaginative, great.
August 3, 2010
Interesting book about the potential danger of dieting/obsession with thinness...kind of like Farenheit 451 only with food, not books.
August 2, 2011
A unique look at a future where every calorie is counted and accounted for, candy is contraband, and the man who may have started it all is having an Elvis-inspired change of heart. Refreshing.
October 12, 2011
I like the premise of this book. I definitely branched out in reading it, as sci-fi is not my usual genre of choice. However, it just got too weird for me at the end.
March 28, 2012
A take on Fahrenheit 451. Only with fatty unhealthy foods being outlawed.
January 24, 2014
This is without doubt the absolute strangest book I have ever read that I still wish I'd come up with myself.
June 1, 2014
Terrible, would not recommend.
July 21, 2014
Such a great premise, such an interesting description, such a goddamn awful book.
I was into it up until Lewis decides he has to be Elvis to understand life. Uh, no.
I was into it up until Lewis decides he has to be Elvis to understand life. Uh, no.
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November 6, 2015STRANGE BOOK! I checked it out because I was reading books about obesity. This was really weird but I couldn't stop reading.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews