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The Husky and His White Cat Shizun: Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun (Novel) #4
The Husky and His White Cat Shizun: Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun (Novel) Vol. 4
ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART BURN HOTTER
Chu Wanning has slumbered for five years since Mo Ran rescued his soul from the underworld. He wakes to find the world changed—and the greatest change of all is to his disciple Mo Ran. Now grown up, Mo Ran is nothing like the callow youth he remembers, and Chu Wanning finds himself drawn to his disciple with a force he never anticipated.
Meanwhile, Mo Ran has at last set aside the misunderstandings of two lifetimes. When his hatred for his teacher falls away, he finds the feelings beneath are not respect between master and disciple, but fiery passion. Yet even as the two wrestle with their own hearts, Mo Ran begins to realize that this world is diverging from the past life he remembers in strange new ways.
Chu Wanning has slumbered for five years since Mo Ran rescued his soul from the underworld. He wakes to find the world changed—and the greatest change of all is to his disciple Mo Ran. Now grown up, Mo Ran is nothing like the callow youth he remembers, and Chu Wanning finds himself drawn to his disciple with a force he never anticipated.
Meanwhile, Mo Ran has at last set aside the misunderstandings of two lifetimes. When his hatred for his teacher falls away, he finds the feelings beneath are not respect between master and disciple, but fiery passion. Yet even as the two wrestle with their own hearts, Mo Ran begins to realize that this world is diverging from the past life he remembers in strange new ways.
444 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2022
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Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
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* Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 842 reviews
April 30, 2024
✦ the mutual silent pining, the insane tension between them, the yearning, the lust, the devotion. the way they're absolutely consumed by thoughts about the other person, the fact that they are both so oblivious about each other's feelings. i think i will actually combust on the spot when they finally confess their love. i am simply never gonna get over these two.
December 8, 2025
4.5 stars.
This volume was full of ups and downs for me. The farm arc, in particular, I dislike it a lot, it was boring and I couldn't stand all these villagers. Aside from that specific arc, the rest of the narrative was exceptionally compelling, with moments like Chu Wanning's awakening, the heartfelt reunion, the comedy, and the intense yearning—all of these elements hit emotionally.
Chu Wanning embodies the profound emptiness of enduring suffering in silence, driven by pride that often outweighs his own heart. His suffering, fueled by pride and insecurity, is palpable. I felt a pang in my heart when he looked at himself in the mirror, contemplating how Mo Ran couldn't find him attractive because he perceived himself as fundamentally ugly. He harbors such a deep self-dislike, and I eagerly await the moment when Mo Ran will demonstrate how truly attractive, beautiful, seductive, and elegant Chu Wanning is—and reassure him of the love and admiration surrounding him.
Mo Ran, in this volume, truly melted my heart. His thoughts about Chu Wanning were incredibly sweet, and his yearning was conveyed with exceptional depth. The suffering he endured over the five years while Chu Wanning was in seclusion tore at my heart. The way he perceives Chu Wanning as his guiding light—the only one capable of banishing his darkness—is agonizingly beautiful.
Xue Meng continues to be my favorite character. He is simultaneously hilarious and complex. His narcissism, combined with his intelligence and unexpected purity, makes him a delightful character. His admiration for Chu Wanning and his playful bickering with Mo Ran are a true pleasure to read. Additionally, I am looking forward to more interactions between him and Mei Hanxue.
The relationship between Chu Wanning and Mo Ran in this volume can be summed up in one word: horny. Their mutual desire was so intense that, at times, it became overwhelming. Of course, there was clear yearning throughout the volume, the development of their feelings was evident—the slow acceptance by Chu Wanning that he loves and desires Mo Ran, and the way Mo Ran finally realizes that he only ever loved Chu Wanning. These moments were beautifully written but perhaps a bit too saturated with horniness for my personal taste.
Overall, I found that this volume had its highs and lows for me, but the sense of joy and engagement persisted throughout my reading experience. Now, I am preparing to delve into volume 5.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Everything in the world was
connected to that person: his joy, his sorrow, his heartbeat, his breathing.
Even the moonlight pouring through the window, the ant crawling along the
windowsill, the flower that had attracted the ant, were indelibly tied up in
his existence. To Mo Ran, this love was an agonizing, suffocating torment.
Every single flower and leaf symbolized him, but he couldn’t have them,
couldn’t pluck them.'
This volume was full of ups and downs for me. The farm arc, in particular, I dislike it a lot, it was boring and I couldn't stand all these villagers. Aside from that specific arc, the rest of the narrative was exceptionally compelling, with moments like Chu Wanning's awakening, the heartfelt reunion, the comedy, and the intense yearning—all of these elements hit emotionally.
Chu Wanning embodies the profound emptiness of enduring suffering in silence, driven by pride that often outweighs his own heart. His suffering, fueled by pride and insecurity, is palpable. I felt a pang in my heart when he looked at himself in the mirror, contemplating how Mo Ran couldn't find him attractive because he perceived himself as fundamentally ugly. He harbors such a deep self-dislike, and I eagerly await the moment when Mo Ran will demonstrate how truly attractive, beautiful, seductive, and elegant Chu Wanning is—and reassure him of the love and admiration surrounding him.
Mo Ran, in this volume, truly melted my heart. His thoughts about Chu Wanning were incredibly sweet, and his yearning was conveyed with exceptional depth. The suffering he endured over the five years while Chu Wanning was in seclusion tore at my heart. The way he perceives Chu Wanning as his guiding light—the only one capable of banishing his darkness—is agonizingly beautiful.
Xue Meng continues to be my favorite character. He is simultaneously hilarious and complex. His narcissism, combined with his intelligence and unexpected purity, makes him a delightful character. His admiration for Chu Wanning and his playful bickering with Mo Ran are a true pleasure to read. Additionally, I am looking forward to more interactions between him and Mei Hanxue.
The relationship between Chu Wanning and Mo Ran in this volume can be summed up in one word: horny. Their mutual desire was so intense that, at times, it became overwhelming. Of course, there was clear yearning throughout the volume, the development of their feelings was evident—the slow acceptance by Chu Wanning that he loves and desires Mo Ran, and the way Mo Ran finally realizes that he only ever loved Chu Wanning. These moments were beautifully written but perhaps a bit too saturated with horniness for my personal taste.
Overall, I found that this volume had its highs and lows for me, but the sense of joy and engagement persisted throughout my reading experience. Now, I am preparing to delve into volume 5.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Everything in the world was
connected to that person: his joy, his sorrow, his heartbeat, his breathing.
Even the moonlight pouring through the window, the ant crawling along the
windowsill, the flower that had attracted the ant, were indelibly tied up in
his existence. To Mo Ran, this love was an agonizing, suffocating torment.
Every single flower and leaf symbolized him, but he couldn’t have them,
couldn’t pluck them.'
January 31, 2025
i can’t take another season of these two verbally edging each other
December 31, 2023
“For as long as you live?”
“For as long as I live.”
“I might walk very fast, with no regard for you.”
“That’s all right, I’ll chase after you.”
“I might not want to walk anymore and just stand there.”
“Then I’ll stand with Shizun.”
after the emotional trauma that vol 3 was, vol 4 was such a breath of fresh air. not that it didn't make me cry bc it did. sfm. but still. AND THE FARM ARC WE FINALLY GOT THE FARM ARC OMGGGGG I WAS GIGGLING SQUEALING KICKING MY FEET I LOVE IT SFM.
That’s why, as time went on, I never even realized—
That as the days had passed, I’d grown into the you I held in my heart.
moron was an absolute darling in this book. while i'll never get over and forgive him for whatever he did as taxian jun i also loved to see this new version of him who was genuinely sorry and horrified for what he did in his past life and who now did desperately everything and anything to make sure everyone got to have what they want. moron's character development is so so good i love moron 2.0 the most 😭
“Three thousand, seven hundred and ninety-nine.”
He had counted as he walked. That was the number of steps up to the main gate, the number of steps that Chu Wanning had climbed that day, carrying him on his back.
chu wanning was perfect like he literally always is. but i love how soft he was in this volume. it's not just moron who's going through character development and i love to see it sfm 🥺
“Okay. If I lose, I’ll make Shizun lots and lots of lotus crisp and lots and lots of stewed crab meatballs.”
“And lots and lots of honey-glazed sweet lotus root too.”
“Sure thing. But what if Shizun loses?”
“What do you want?”
“If Shizun loses, Shizun will have to eat all the lotus crisp and stewed crab meatballs I make.”
“And all the honey-glazed sweet lotus root too.”
mo zongshi is such an act of service king i stan 😩🤌🏻 the way he knows all about wanning and takes care of him and makes sure he gets whatever he likes bdjsksksk my heart and the pining was so fucking real in this one omg i was dyingggggggg but i also loved it sfm bc you can see how much moron is actually trying to do right by chu wanning in this life and how he slowly realised that it was always chu wanning he loved.
Ye Wangxi felt he was a moth to Nangong Si’s flame. He couldn’t help being drawn to that warmth even if it led to his own ruin.
this novel also made my wangsi (idk if they have a ship name so i gave them one 👍🏻) heart break sfm but also my mengxue heart was singing babies are coming home soon 🥹 (kinda)
“I want to hold an umbrella over Shizun for as long as I live.”
ranwan are so so special to me istg i love them sfm and i alr miss them and i wanna reread this book again like deadass 2ha is one of the books that i can read for the rest of my life and never get tired of 😭❤️🩹
i'm so ready for vol5 byebyeeeee ch179 is so close i want it in my hands rfn 🥺
December 23, 2023
In his last life, he had loved someone dearly. Later, that person had given up his life, and Mo Ran had fallen into hell.
In this life, there was someone who loved and protected him. Later, that person had given up his life, and brought Mo Ran back to the world of the living.
*Cue Mo Ran’s simp era* Well, to be fair, he’s always been a Chu Wanning simp, but this volume takes that and cranks it up a thousand notches.
In his last life, he had been a destroyer. In this one, he wanted to be a protector.
Compared to the last volume, this one was a breath of fresh air. It was mainly fluff with some angst sprinkled in, but nothing I can’t handle. Now I’m gonna be honest, I’m still scared for my life going forward. Just, when I hear people talk about Erha, they talk about the sadness, the angst, the yearning, the soul-crushingness. And so far, fourth volume in, with the third being the saddest so far, it’s not that bad. But I am not a fool. My guard is not let down yet. With so many chapters still left, and with what people say about this series, I am genuinely terrified that it’s gonna get so so so much worse
But let’s not focus on the doom and gloom that’s to come, because this volume was sweet and adorable. It was much more RanWan-centric (which I love) than the others, but that’s to be expected now that their earlier misunderstandings are cleared away.
Where his shizun was, there was a flame.
Where Chu Wanning was, there was light.
Thank goodness us readers didn’t have to linger in the 5 year absence of Chu Wanning like the characters did, don’t know if I would’ve been able to handle it. But it really hurts to see what the impact of Chu Wanning’s absence had on everyone. What Xue Meng, Xue Zhengyong, and of course, what Mo Ran all had to endure through the years and how they coped gripped my heart painfully. I genuinely wish that I can grab Chu Wanning by the shoulders and shake some sense into him, because how could he ever say that no one cares about him when these three exist. They love him so so much, and Chu Wanning won’t see it. Those reunions brought me to my knees, sobbing.
Later, when Mo Ran saw the blooming flowers of spring, he would think of him, and when he saw the falling snows of winter, he would think of him as well.
Later, every daybreak was golden like Chu Wanning's soul. Every nightfall was dark like Chu Wanning's eyes. Later, every beam of white moonlight was like the snow of his sleeves, every rising sun was like the warmth in his eyes. Later, he'd see Chu Wanning's silhouette in the vermilion clouds on the horizon, in the cerulean light of dawn, in the surging, billowing clouds overhead. He was everywhere.
It’s crazy what a complete 180 Mo Ran does after Chu Wanning’s death. He basically finds out that his whole past life was a lie, so he vows to right it. He vows to care for his Shizun. He vows to protect his Shizun and others. And most importantly, he becomes a total loser (affectionately) Who knew that Chu Wanning’s return would make him such a lovesick fool (we all did tbh) He’s such a loser that he gave Chu Wanning a fireworks show to welcome him back. He’s such a loser that he gets down on one knee and vows to be by his side for a lifetime
He wished dearly that, before Chu Wanning awakened, he could be a little better, and then better still. Only then could the worst, worst disciple in the world possibly summon up the feeble courage to call out to the best, best shizun in the world.
On a real note, I want to give Mo Ran a big hug. Those five years were torture for him. He was just saddled with an abundance of guilt, grief, resentment, and regret. The demons of his past just haunt him and he just hates himself now. He was just riddled with so much grief that he unconsciously imitated his Shizun. Mo Ran was killing me in this volume.
Skin brushed skin for only an instant, Mo Ran didn't dare touch him more than that, and neither did Chu Wanning dare allow it.
One was a torrential stream with nowhere to go, and the other a pond that was all but dried up. They were clearly a perfect match—if only one were to go into the other, the former would no longer churn restlessly with no outlet, and the latter could be filled and watered, parched cracks soon mended.
But neither of them would do it, each hiding from the other.
I both love and hate these dumbasses honestly. They’re cute, but they’re embarrassing. They’re sweet, but they’re so frustrating. This volume was just filled with so much banter, tension, and flirting. They are so so so thirsty for each other. Yet it still didn’t go anywhere.
Lust, desire.
Love.
Chu Wanning...
He finally unearthed that name. Cleared away sand and dirt to reveal precious treasure. It had always been Chu Wanning... This intimate feeling, this blazing love, it had always belonged to Chu Wanning!
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Wait for it…
Finally he realized that, all this time, he had loved Chu Wanning. It was love. He couldn't believe how obtuse he'd been, how biased, how foolish, how blind. He couldn't believe it had taken him this long to come to his senses.
He was in love with Chu Wanning.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
The relief I felt. Finally, finally, finally. Mo Ran has wised up. He realizes he’s in love with Chu Wanning, and has been in both his lives. He finally realizes that what he feels for Shi Mei was superficial. He’s finally grown some brain cells.
His eyes: sharp and narrow, radiating an impression of severity and harshness when not smiling. Unlikable. His nose: bridge too flat, curve too soft, profile unremarkable. Unlikable. His mouth... Forget it. This mouth was too like the words that came out of it—thin, cold, and indifferent, lacking any warmth whatsoever. Naturally, also unlikable.
Mo Ran was out of his mind being aroused by this sight.
But don’t be fooled. Just because the feelings are mutual doesn’t mean that they’re on the same page. Their insecurities and their pasts are still a major obstacle. But especially Chu Wanning. My lord, this man is so insecure, and filled with self-loathing. The fact that someone just saying they care about him is humiliating to him. The fact that he thinks Mo Ran’s caring is only born from pity and obligation. Ughhhh. He’s such a tragic character and I wanna give him happiness.
RanWan are so close, yet still so far.
He would never set so much as a single foot into Wubei Temple for as long as he lived. Nor would he refer to Huaizui as Shizun ever again.
Alright. Away from romance and onto plot. Because. I. Am. Reeling.
I still have so many questions and no answers. I feel like we know Chu Wanning, yet we still don’t. I’m a sucker for a good backstory and I feel like Chu Wanning is amping up for one hell of a backstory. And. I’m. Ready.
And and and. Chu Wanning is still dreaming of the first life and I’m dying to know whyyyy. He’s already been dreaming about his past relations with Taxian-Jun, and some scenes, but now he dreamed of the first events of the Heavenly Rift when Shi Mei dies. Like, Chu Wanning’s dreams are diving into the juicy bits of his first life and he thinks it’s all his imagination. Is he gonna find out that they’re actually memories? But more importantly is Mo Ran gonna find out that Chu Wanning is dreaming about them??? Like the angst potential for this is beautiful.
Ye Wangxi felt he was a moth to Nangong Si’s flame. He couldn’t help being drawn to that warmth even if it led to his own ruin.
But Nangong Si didn't want him.
Can we know more about Ye Wangxi please? He’s honestly growing on me and he literally parallels Chu Wanning in all the painful ways. Even Mo Ran sees it, and Mo Ran is a dumbass y’all. Both Ye Wangxi and Chu Wanning are the type to sacrifice parts of themselves over and over again and they never get anything in return. They keep to themselves. And now we know for a fact that they both love people who they think don’t reciprocate. *punching the air* they’re so goddam tragic. That ending is killing me and I need to know what happens next.
☆☆☆
Sidenote:
AAHHAAAHHAHAHHAHAAH (painful laughing while I slowly die inside)
Ok soooo… I wanted to google something about Ye Wangxi to confirm something. And I. Spoiled. Myself.
I’m banging my head against a wall because it was a monumental spoiler, a plot twist that would’ve blown my goddam mind in the future but now it’s ruined. I am desperately trying to gaslight myself in believing that I didn’t see it but it’s too late. The plot twist is ruined. 😭😭😭😭
☆☆☆
Cover Reveal:
HELLO?! THE COVER IS F*CKING GORGEOUS 😭😭
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 3, 2024
Absolute unit…
LMAOO that’s all I can think of rn. don’t really have the energy to write a real review 😂😭 this fricken quote had me wheezing every time I saw it
LMAOO that’s all I can think of rn. don’t really have the energy to write a real review 😂😭 this fricken quote had me wheezing every time I saw it
August 27, 2024
THE TENSION IS DRIVING ME INSANE…I do not know who is winning the yearning competition…😭😭
December 19, 2023
FARM ARC AKA THE BEST ARC LEZZGOOOOOOOO 😭🫶🏼
October 13, 2024
444 pages of 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 chu wanning and mo ran
November 11, 2025
REREAD (11/11/25): needed comfort randomly yesterday so decided to reread this… fluff and giggles galore (i lowkey died a little cause of even the angst in this volume which i forgot existed but).
second time reread is making me appreciate this so much more. i’m just falling in love with ranwan all over again. was literally reading most of this in public with the hugest smile on my face. there’s also a lot of foreshadowing that’s cool to see!
it’s sweet to see ranwan together, of course. nice to see these moments before all the big angst.. haha… what was killing me was all the moments between xue meng and chu wanning… they were so parent and child and it actually made me so sick. i miss these days so much now. and then xue zhengyong… i forgot how tight he was with chu wanning. making me want to reread all the worst bits soon… i miss this peak. imagine reading erha for the first time but rereading it is also as amazing.
okay. quote vomit incoming.
1.
“after shi mei retreated, a pale pink haitang blossom was placed gently into the coffin. the slender hand that held it, though still youthful, was already approaching the length and span of an adult’s.
mo ran stood at the coffin’s side. a breeze danced over the surface of the water in the pond, carrying the softly sweet fragrance of blooming lotuses. the breeze tousled his bangs, but when he lifted his hand, it was to brush chu wanning’s face.
mo ran pressed his lips together. he looked as if he had many things he wanted to say, but in the end, all that came out, soft and slightly hoarse, was: “i’ll wait for you.”
wait for what? he didn’t specify. he’d considered saying, i’ll wait for you to wake up, but those words seemed somehow insufficient. there was no way to express the feelings close to bursting the vessel of his chest, as though there was a pool of scalding lava in his heart, trapped and roiling, slamming against the walls and bringing him pain and anxiety. it felt like it was only a matter of time before those walls were breached, and the lava would spill out uncontrollably, the raging flow melting him to ash.
but even now, he was still unsure what that burning feeling was. so he only said: “i’ll wait for you. this actually fried me because mo ran was so loving towards chu wanning in so many ways even before the five years of separation and when he didn’t know his true feelings… also, whenever something happens with the haitang blossoms, it actually kills me. so much. now this made me think of the haitang blossom he couldn’t give chu wanning originally.
2.
chu wanning. it would be five years before he could see him again. today was day one. he found himself already missing chu wanning’s face—his stern, angry, gentle, serious, steadfast face. my heart.
3.
mo ran had been unconsciously looking for chu wanning’s shadow in the world; unable to find him, he had instead slowly become him.
time marched on. and i, due to remorse, or perhaps something else—
i couldn’t see you, but always i thought what you would do if you were here; what would make you smile, what would make you mad. i thought about you before doing anything, tried to make you proud with everything that i did. i thought, “if you were here, and i did this, would you nod? would you be willing to praise me a little, say i did okay?”
day after day i thought about this, until it had permeated my very bones, become second nature. that’s why, as time went on, i never even realized—
that as the days had passed, i’d grown into the you i held in my heart. okay, this is so sweet. instead of searching for chu wanning within other people, he tried finding him in his self and became a better person to be like the person he loves and they’re so fucking insane.
4.
“shizun…” mo ran choked out between sobs, “i…don’t deserve to see you again, do i…”
chu wanning said nothing, but merely picked up the flint and steel. he calmly lit the candle that had remained dark in the face of mo ran’s best efforts.
where his shizun was, there was a flame.
where chu wanning was, there was light.
he stood by the candleholder with his long lashes downcast, then calmly looked up at mo ran and gave him a small, serene smile. “go back to sleep, mo ran. see, the candle is lit now. don’t be afraid.”
mo ran’s heart felt like it had been brutally crushed by something heavy, and his head hurt so terribly he felt it might split. help me the foreshadowing to. fucking chapter 279. omds.
5.
when he finally managed to calm down a little, xue meng began to talk of this and that, clutching at chu wanning the whole time. “shizun, at the spiritual mountain competition, i…i got first place.”
chu wanning glanced at him, and a small smile tugged at his lips. “of course, that’s hardly a surprise.” fuck meeee, fuckkk they love each other so much, that’s literally his fucking baby. i can’t do this. i was tweaking out over the clay dolls xue meng made for chu wanning as well.
6.
later, when mo ran saw the blooming flowers of spring, he would think of him, and when he saw the falling snows of winter, he would think of him as well.
later, every daybreak was golden like chu wanning’s soul. every nightfall was dark like chu wanning’s eyes. later, every beam of white moonlight was like the snow of his sleeves, every rising sun was like the warmth in his eyes. later, he’d see chu wanning’s silhouette in the vermilion clouds on the horizon, in the cerulean light of dawn, in the surging, billowing clouds overhead. he was everywhere.
7.
one drank wine with his head bowed and his expression mild, phoenix eyes lucent as water, lashes soft as mist. the other smiled as he watched the former, cheek propped in a hand and eyes glimmering. in those eyes, the candlelight reflected the snow of early spring layered upon an open balcony, pear blossoms blooming under clear moonlight. the fluttering of lashes resembled ripples spreading across the mirrored surface of a lake, sweeping across glittering stars with untold feelings likely unknown even to the bearer of those eyes.
8.
thinking chu wanning really was asleep, mo ran felt relieved, but also a little wistful. he wanted chu wanning to pay him attention. but chu wanning paid him none, so he could only touch the thin wall between them, stroking it with calloused fingers, closing his eyes and pretending it was chu wanning’s chest he was caressing. he pressed his heated lips against it, murmuring softly as if whispering against chu wanning’s lips.
“i don’t want any of that anymore…” mo ran said. “i only want you…” i think this scene was too freaked out for me first time i read but now im like… peak…
ORIGINAL (12/17/24): another amazing novel... the yearning in this is sooo unmatched. i just love how both of the characters express and think of their love for the other, ah!!! both are them are soo cute together.
he wrote a letter for every single day they were apart. more than 1000 pages altogether. everything in the world reminded him of the other and filled him with such anguish and yearning - EVEN WHEN HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS IN LOVE. these two are the best. I LOVE THEM AS SEPARATE CHARACTERS AS WELL. they're such small beans that deserve everything, and they're seriously so tangible in how realistic and human they are that it's hard not adoring them.
this chapter had Love and desire: two things never meant to be pulled apart, never meant to be separated. To be attracted by another’s appearance, bewitched by another’s voice, another’s scent, another’s passing glances; wanting to conquer, wanting to possess, wanting to leave his own scent on unspoiled flesh that yet had no connection to him; wanting to drive his burning passion into the other’s body. He had always believed love was sacred, and that the object of his love was never to be defiled. But really, how could he not defile him? When the form of the one he loved ardently, admired, and desired appeared before him, how could he remain unmoved? How could he suppress the fire of lust that ran through his body?
There were many kinds of love in this world, but romantic love was the kind that could never be pure and clean. It was bound to be stained with hot, sticky sweat and dyed the color of bare skin; it was braided with tangled locks of hair and the bitter pungency of photinia blossoms; it was clouded with moans and passion. It was a tender, glistening flower that could only bloom in the sultry, damp mud of a warmed bed.
Mo Ran fled urgently into the night. He came to an abrupt stop, his eyes startlingly bright, his expression dumfounded. Something seemed to have snapped in his brain. The raging currents he had suppressed with complacency and stupid stubbornness dragged him under with inexorable force, drowning him, swallowing him whole. He stood rooted in horror.
Lust, desire.
Love.
Chu Wanning…
He finally unearthed that name. Cleared away sand and dirt to reveal precious treasure. It had always been Chu Wanning… This intimate feeling, this blazing love, it had always belonged to Chu Wanning! His vision went dark. Two lifetimes’ worth of delusion had been shattered, and fragments of brick and tile were swept by violent tides, crashing upon the walls of his heart, making it hard to breathe. He was dumbstruck. Could this have been the truth all along? Had he been wrong about the one he liked all this time, about his so-called love?
this one: Mo Ran hesitated, then put the woven grass wreath on his head according to the rules. His dark eyes were bright, but he felt lost. Crowned with rice stalks, he stole another careful glance at Chu Wanning. That handsome, tanned face began to gradually flush red under the firelight.
Chu Wanning was startled by his peculiar reaction. His eyes grew wider as he stared at Mo Ran until they were almost round. Under Chu Wanning’s naked stare, Mo Ran lowered his gaze, lips pursed and utterly silent, looking obedient and a little bashful. He was acting like a slow-witted youth who had reached the age where love was on the mind and was experiencing his first puppy love: all clumsy and awkward, pathetically yet adorably so.
If Chu Wanning had been startled before, he was shocked now. Was he going blind? Why else was he seeing this strapping, red-blooded young man acting like a blushing maiden? Was he possessed?!
AND this one... This was awful. He’d fallen in love with a man who was absolutely off-limits, a man he’d sworn never to touch again. In this moment, he—an old ghost who’d already lived one whole lifetime—really was like a boy in his early twenties, full of youthful impulsiveness and red-blooded vigor. A single glance from the person he liked, a simple change of outfit, was more than enough to flip his world upside down. Everything in the world was connected to that person: his joy, his sorrow, his heartbeat, his breathing. Even the moonlight pouring through the window, the ant crawling along the windowsill, the flower that had attracted the ant, were indelibly tied up in his existence. To Mo Ran, this love was an agonizing, suffocating torment. Every single flower and leaf symbolized him, but he couldn’t have them, couldn’t pluck them. that were passages that actually killed me... aww....
second time reread is making me appreciate this so much more. i’m just falling in love with ranwan all over again. was literally reading most of this in public with the hugest smile on my face. there’s also a lot of foreshadowing that’s cool to see!
it’s sweet to see ranwan together, of course. nice to see these moments before all the big angst.. haha… what was killing me was all the moments between xue meng and chu wanning… they were so parent and child and it actually made me so sick. i miss these days so much now. and then xue zhengyong… i forgot how tight he was with chu wanning. making me want to reread all the worst bits soon… i miss this peak. imagine reading erha for the first time but rereading it is also as amazing.
okay. quote vomit incoming.
1.
“after shi mei retreated, a pale pink haitang blossom was placed gently into the coffin. the slender hand that held it, though still youthful, was already approaching the length and span of an adult’s.
mo ran stood at the coffin’s side. a breeze danced over the surface of the water in the pond, carrying the softly sweet fragrance of blooming lotuses. the breeze tousled his bangs, but when he lifted his hand, it was to brush chu wanning’s face.
mo ran pressed his lips together. he looked as if he had many things he wanted to say, but in the end, all that came out, soft and slightly hoarse, was: “i’ll wait for you.”
wait for what? he didn’t specify. he’d considered saying, i’ll wait for you to wake up, but those words seemed somehow insufficient. there was no way to express the feelings close to bursting the vessel of his chest, as though there was a pool of scalding lava in his heart, trapped and roiling, slamming against the walls and bringing him pain and anxiety. it felt like it was only a matter of time before those walls were breached, and the lava would spill out uncontrollably, the raging flow melting him to ash.
but even now, he was still unsure what that burning feeling was. so he only said: “i’ll wait for you. this actually fried me because mo ran was so loving towards chu wanning in so many ways even before the five years of separation and when he didn’t know his true feelings… also, whenever something happens with the haitang blossoms, it actually kills me. so much. now this made me think of the haitang blossom he couldn’t give chu wanning originally.
2.
chu wanning. it would be five years before he could see him again. today was day one. he found himself already missing chu wanning’s face—his stern, angry, gentle, serious, steadfast face. my heart.
3.
mo ran had been unconsciously looking for chu wanning’s shadow in the world; unable to find him, he had instead slowly become him.
time marched on. and i, due to remorse, or perhaps something else—
i couldn’t see you, but always i thought what you would do if you were here; what would make you smile, what would make you mad. i thought about you before doing anything, tried to make you proud with everything that i did. i thought, “if you were here, and i did this, would you nod? would you be willing to praise me a little, say i did okay?”
day after day i thought about this, until it had permeated my very bones, become second nature. that’s why, as time went on, i never even realized—
that as the days had passed, i’d grown into the you i held in my heart. okay, this is so sweet. instead of searching for chu wanning within other people, he tried finding him in his self and became a better person to be like the person he loves and they’re so fucking insane.
4.
“shizun…” mo ran choked out between sobs, “i…don’t deserve to see you again, do i…”
chu wanning said nothing, but merely picked up the flint and steel. he calmly lit the candle that had remained dark in the face of mo ran’s best efforts.
where his shizun was, there was a flame.
where chu wanning was, there was light.
he stood by the candleholder with his long lashes downcast, then calmly looked up at mo ran and gave him a small, serene smile. “go back to sleep, mo ran. see, the candle is lit now. don’t be afraid.”
mo ran’s heart felt like it had been brutally crushed by something heavy, and his head hurt so terribly he felt it might split. help me the foreshadowing to. fucking chapter 279. omds.
5.
when he finally managed to calm down a little, xue meng began to talk of this and that, clutching at chu wanning the whole time. “shizun, at the spiritual mountain competition, i…i got first place.”
chu wanning glanced at him, and a small smile tugged at his lips. “of course, that’s hardly a surprise.” fuck meeee, fuckkk they love each other so much, that’s literally his fucking baby. i can’t do this. i was tweaking out over the clay dolls xue meng made for chu wanning as well.
6.
later, when mo ran saw the blooming flowers of spring, he would think of him, and when he saw the falling snows of winter, he would think of him as well.
later, every daybreak was golden like chu wanning’s soul. every nightfall was dark like chu wanning’s eyes. later, every beam of white moonlight was like the snow of his sleeves, every rising sun was like the warmth in his eyes. later, he’d see chu wanning’s silhouette in the vermilion clouds on the horizon, in the cerulean light of dawn, in the surging, billowing clouds overhead. he was everywhere.
7.
one drank wine with his head bowed and his expression mild, phoenix eyes lucent as water, lashes soft as mist. the other smiled as he watched the former, cheek propped in a hand and eyes glimmering. in those eyes, the candlelight reflected the snow of early spring layered upon an open balcony, pear blossoms blooming under clear moonlight. the fluttering of lashes resembled ripples spreading across the mirrored surface of a lake, sweeping across glittering stars with untold feelings likely unknown even to the bearer of those eyes.
8.
thinking chu wanning really was asleep, mo ran felt relieved, but also a little wistful. he wanted chu wanning to pay him attention. but chu wanning paid him none, so he could only touch the thin wall between them, stroking it with calloused fingers, closing his eyes and pretending it was chu wanning’s chest he was caressing. he pressed his heated lips against it, murmuring softly as if whispering against chu wanning’s lips.
“i don’t want any of that anymore…” mo ran said. “i only want you…” i think this scene was too freaked out for me first time i read but now im like… peak…
ORIGINAL (12/17/24): another amazing novel... the yearning in this is sooo unmatched. i just love how both of the characters express and think of their love for the other, ah!!! both are them are soo cute together.
he wrote a letter for every single day they were apart. more than 1000 pages altogether. everything in the world reminded him of the other and filled him with such anguish and yearning - EVEN WHEN HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS IN LOVE. these two are the best. I LOVE THEM AS SEPARATE CHARACTERS AS WELL. they're such small beans that deserve everything, and they're seriously so tangible in how realistic and human they are that it's hard not adoring them.
this chapter had Love and desire: two things never meant to be pulled apart, never meant to be separated. To be attracted by another’s appearance, bewitched by another’s voice, another’s scent, another’s passing glances; wanting to conquer, wanting to possess, wanting to leave his own scent on unspoiled flesh that yet had no connection to him; wanting to drive his burning passion into the other’s body. He had always believed love was sacred, and that the object of his love was never to be defiled. But really, how could he not defile him? When the form of the one he loved ardently, admired, and desired appeared before him, how could he remain unmoved? How could he suppress the fire of lust that ran through his body?
There were many kinds of love in this world, but romantic love was the kind that could never be pure and clean. It was bound to be stained with hot, sticky sweat and dyed the color of bare skin; it was braided with tangled locks of hair and the bitter pungency of photinia blossoms; it was clouded with moans and passion. It was a tender, glistening flower that could only bloom in the sultry, damp mud of a warmed bed.
Mo Ran fled urgently into the night. He came to an abrupt stop, his eyes startlingly bright, his expression dumfounded. Something seemed to have snapped in his brain. The raging currents he had suppressed with complacency and stupid stubbornness dragged him under with inexorable force, drowning him, swallowing him whole. He stood rooted in horror.
Lust, desire.
Love.
Chu Wanning…
He finally unearthed that name. Cleared away sand and dirt to reveal precious treasure. It had always been Chu Wanning… This intimate feeling, this blazing love, it had always belonged to Chu Wanning! His vision went dark. Two lifetimes’ worth of delusion had been shattered, and fragments of brick and tile were swept by violent tides, crashing upon the walls of his heart, making it hard to breathe. He was dumbstruck. Could this have been the truth all along? Had he been wrong about the one he liked all this time, about his so-called love?
this one: Mo Ran hesitated, then put the woven grass wreath on his head according to the rules. His dark eyes were bright, but he felt lost. Crowned with rice stalks, he stole another careful glance at Chu Wanning. That handsome, tanned face began to gradually flush red under the firelight.
Chu Wanning was startled by his peculiar reaction. His eyes grew wider as he stared at Mo Ran until they were almost round. Under Chu Wanning’s naked stare, Mo Ran lowered his gaze, lips pursed and utterly silent, looking obedient and a little bashful. He was acting like a slow-witted youth who had reached the age where love was on the mind and was experiencing his first puppy love: all clumsy and awkward, pathetically yet adorably so.
If Chu Wanning had been startled before, he was shocked now. Was he going blind? Why else was he seeing this strapping, red-blooded young man acting like a blushing maiden? Was he possessed?!
AND this one... This was awful. He’d fallen in love with a man who was absolutely off-limits, a man he’d sworn never to touch again. In this moment, he—an old ghost who’d already lived one whole lifetime—really was like a boy in his early twenties, full of youthful impulsiveness and red-blooded vigor. A single glance from the person he liked, a simple change of outfit, was more than enough to flip his world upside down. Everything in the world was connected to that person: his joy, his sorrow, his heartbeat, his breathing. Even the moonlight pouring through the window, the ant crawling along the windowsill, the flower that had attracted the ant, were indelibly tied up in his existence. To Mo Ran, this love was an agonizing, suffocating torment. Every single flower and leaf symbolized him, but he couldn’t have them, couldn’t pluck them. that were passages that actually killed me... aww....
June 2, 2024
3.25 stars
Regretfully, this volume wasn't as enjoyable to me as I had anticipated. The bulk of the novel was empty of any significant events, which presented a dilemma.
I am at a loss for words regarding this book. Overall, it's nice, but not as thrilling or fascinating as the second or third book. Nevertheless, I feel like I have a better understanding of how some characters feel about one another, and I'm excited for the fifth one.
If I were to give stars solely based on smut and romance, I would have rated it five stars, but the plot dragged and was repetitive with little forward motion.
Although I don't think it's on par with volume 3, I also believe it's unfair to rate it that way because each volume is supposed to flow organically into the next. That must be the reality of turning danmei webnovels into hardcover volumes.
Regretfully, this volume wasn't as enjoyable to me as I had anticipated. The bulk of the novel was empty of any significant events, which presented a dilemma.
“He murmured, “Three thousand, seven hundred and ninety-nine.” He had counted as he walked. That was the number of steps up to the main gate, the number of steps that Chu Wanning had climbed that day, carrying him on his back. He was certain that for as long as he lived, he would never forget Chu Wanning’s hands, cold as ice, chafed raw and bloody.”
I am at a loss for words regarding this book. Overall, it's nice, but not as thrilling or fascinating as the second or third book. Nevertheless, I feel like I have a better understanding of how some characters feel about one another, and I'm excited for the fifth one.
“In his last life, he had been a destroyer. In this one, he wanted to be a protector.”
If I were to give stars solely based on smut and romance, I would have rated it five stars, but the plot dragged and was repetitive with little forward motion.
“For as long as you live?”
“For as long as I live.”
“I might walk very fast, with no regard for you.”
“That’s all right, I’ll chase after you.”
“I might not want to walk anymore and just stand there.”
“Then I’ll stand with Shizun.”
Although I don't think it's on par with volume 3, I also believe it's unfair to rate it that way because each volume is supposed to flow organically into the next. That must be the reality of turning danmei webnovels into hardcover volumes.
“I want to hold an umbrella over Shizun for as long as I live.”
August 16, 2024
Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy this volume as much as I thought I would. The problem was that nothing really happened for the majority of the book.
We watch as an incredulous Chu Wanning (grudgingly!! 😅) falls in love with Mo Ran, while Mo Ran was already knee-deep in his love for Chu Wanning from his last lifetime. They want each other, but neither does anything about it, believing their feelings are unreciprocated, not to mention highly inappropriate. They dance around each other for the entire book, while we, the readers, know exactly how they feel. It became more frustrating with each passing chapter, and while I never wanted to stop reading the story, there wasn't anything inherent about it that made me want to get back to it as quickly as possible.
Another thing that bugged me was the ungodly number of flowery similies used to describe every thought, feeling, or appearance these characters had. It was poetic and sweet in the beginning, but by chapter 145, I couldn't take it anymore. I started skipping over all the words in a sentence that was proceeded by the word 'like.'
I enjoyed how hot and flustered the pure and righteous Yuheng Elder became whenever Mo Ran was around and how he used some combination of haughtiness, indifference, or anger to mask his true feelings. It was hilarious, and poor Mo Ran was always left trying to figure out what he did to anger his shizun this time. 😂
Even with his confusion, Mo Ran was unfailingly patient and treated Chu Wanning with all the thoughtfulness and love he denied him in his last lifetime. Seeing him so happy making Chu Wanning happy was the highlight of the volume. After he realized that he's always been in love with Chu Wanning, the silent pining and anguish intensified dramatically.
Finally he realized that, all this time, he had loved Chu Wanning. It was love. He couldn't believe how obtuse he'd been, how biased, how foolish, how blind. He couldn't believe it had taken him this long to come to his senses.
Mo Ran finally understood what love was. He was no virtuous ascetic; his love was hot and steamy, accompanied by the urge to conquer, by the slap of flesh against flesh, by the rushing of blood and spilling of fluids. He was a wolf that could appreciate the scent of wild roses. But wolves had fangs, and tastes to match; what he fed on was not grass or flowers, but blood and flesh.
The last quarter of the book was pretty good, but as a whole, this volume was a bit of a drag and took (me) entirely too long to read. I'm still looking forward to the next book, though. 😄 3.5 stars.
We watch as an incredulous Chu Wanning (grudgingly!! 😅) falls in love with Mo Ran, while Mo Ran was already knee-deep in his love for Chu Wanning from his last lifetime. They want each other, but neither does anything about it, believing their feelings are unreciprocated, not to mention highly inappropriate. They dance around each other for the entire book, while we, the readers, know exactly how they feel. It became more frustrating with each passing chapter, and while I never wanted to stop reading the story, there wasn't anything inherent about it that made me want to get back to it as quickly as possible.
Another thing that bugged me was the ungodly number of flowery similies used to describe every thought, feeling, or appearance these characters had. It was poetic and sweet in the beginning, but by chapter 145, I couldn't take it anymore. I started skipping over all the words in a sentence that was proceeded by the word 'like.'
I enjoyed how hot and flustered the pure and righteous Yuheng Elder became whenever Mo Ran was around and how he used some combination of haughtiness, indifference, or anger to mask his true feelings. It was hilarious, and poor Mo Ran was always left trying to figure out what he did to anger his shizun this time. 😂
Even with his confusion, Mo Ran was unfailingly patient and treated Chu Wanning with all the thoughtfulness and love he denied him in his last lifetime. Seeing him so happy making Chu Wanning happy was the highlight of the volume. After he realized that he's always been in love with Chu Wanning, the silent pining and anguish intensified dramatically.
Finally he realized that, all this time, he had loved Chu Wanning. It was love. He couldn't believe how obtuse he'd been, how biased, how foolish, how blind. He couldn't believe it had taken him this long to come to his senses.
Mo Ran finally understood what love was. He was no virtuous ascetic; his love was hot and steamy, accompanied by the urge to conquer, by the slap of flesh against flesh, by the rushing of blood and spilling of fluids. He was a wolf that could appreciate the scent of wild roses. But wolves had fangs, and tastes to match; what he fed on was not grass or flowers, but blood and flesh.
The last quarter of the book was pretty good, but as a whole, this volume was a bit of a drag and took (me) entirely too long to read. I'm still looking forward to the next book, though. 😄 3.5 stars.
November 19, 2025
4,5 'Farm arc' stars
This is probably the fluffiest erha volume, which means we have 7(?) more suffering vols to go. What a joy! And I mean it. Afterall, if you're not reading erha for angst, what's even the point? This vol was definitely low on angst, and maybe that's the reason why I had a feeling something was missing. But still, you can always count on ranwan to sprinkle everything with a little bit of misery.
Fanart by zolaida
We start this volume with Chu Wanning being dead and then skipping five years of his recovery, when life goes on without him. His three disciples all grow up in the meantime, except that Xue Meng is still spoiled darling of the heaven, Shi Mei is still his mysterious self, and Mo Ran... well, Mo Ran does mature a lot but he's still, you know... Mo Ran. Even when he's trying his best, the universe is just not on his side. So, their reunion after five years, is not an elegant and dignified meeting as Mo Ran has planned. Instead they meet by chance in Melodic Springs. Naked, of course 🤣🤣
Fanart by szaszkeh
Despite ranwan having typical miscommunication problems, Mo Ran still manages to confess his feelings in a way. We are not even close to love confession but I think it's a huge step that Chu Wanning actually listened and - reluctantly - even believed his words. Yes, I'm talking about the umbrella scene 💖💖
Full review to come (I hope) soon because I realized this will take longer than I thought, oh well :D
5 'Beautifully painfull' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 'My baby shizun' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
4,5 'Wontons, stairs, and Mo Ran's childhood' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐
4,5 'Farm arc' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐
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This is probably the fluffiest erha volume, which means we have 7(?) more suffering vols to go. What a joy! And I mean it. Afterall, if you're not reading erha for angst, what's even the point? This vol was definitely low on angst, and maybe that's the reason why I had a feeling something was missing. But still, you can always count on ranwan to sprinkle everything with a little bit of misery.
In his last life, he had loved someone dearly. Later, that person had given up his life, and Mo Ran had fallen into hell.
In this life, there was someone who loved and protected him. Later, that person had given up his life, and brought Mo Ran back to the world of the living.
Fanart by zolaida
We start this volume with Chu Wanning being dead and then skipping five years of his recovery, when life goes on without him. His three disciples all grow up in the meantime, except that Xue Meng is still spoiled darling of the heaven, Shi Mei is still his mysterious self, and Mo Ran... well, Mo Ran does mature a lot but he's still, you know... Mo Ran. Even when he's trying his best, the universe is just not on his side. So, their reunion after five years, is not an elegant and dignified meeting as Mo Ran has planned. Instead they meet by chance in Melodic Springs. Naked, of course 🤣🤣
This person was very tall, quite a bit taller than Chu Wanning [...] His shoulders were strong and broad, and the shoulder blades that flexed beneath his golden skin hinted at a concealed strenght with each lift of his arms. The water cascaded over his body, rivulets gathering into streams to flow down the wide expanse of his powerfull, masculine back. [...]
As someone accustomed to asceticism, Chu Wanning had never seen such a carnal sight. His ears burned as he hastily turned to leave.
Fanart by szaszkeh
In his panic, and with no dignity left to speak of, a strong, shapely hand grabbed him and pulled him up from the streaming water.
"Are you okay?" The man spoke in a deep soothing voice, one hand around Chu Wanning's arm. The difference in their heights was such that his breath puffed against Chu Wanning's ear as he lowered his head to speak, "Careful, it's slippery here."
Chu Wanning's ears burned even hotter. He could sense that man's chest behind him, mere inches from his back, rising and fallng, up and down. [...] Chu Wanning was both indignant and mortified at once - never had he been touched by someone like this!
Despite ranwan having typical miscommunication problems, Mo Ran still manages to confess his feelings in a way. We are not even close to love confession but I think it's a huge step that Chu Wanning actually listened and - reluctantly - even believed his words. Yes, I'm talking about the umbrella scene 💖💖
"I want to hold an umbrella over Shizun for as long as I live."
As he listened silently, Chu Wanning felt a burning in his chest. It was such a heartwarming thing to hear, yet he found himself wanting to cry. He was someone who had walked for too long and had finally found shelter where they could lie down and rest. Even his bones felt like they might fall apart as he collapsed.
Holding down the fire raging in his chest, he asked, mild as ever, "For as long as you live?"
"For as long as I live."
"I might walk very fast, with no regard for you."
"That's all right, I'll chase after you."
"I might not want to walk anymore and just stand there.
"Then I'll stand with Shizun."
Agitated by his unfaltering answers, Chu Wanning flicked his sleeves and said, "Then what if I can't walk anymore?"
"I'll carry you."
Full review to come (I hope) soon because I realized this will take longer than I thought, oh well :D
5 'Beautifully painfull' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 'My baby shizun' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
4,5 'Wontons, stairs, and Mo Ran's childhood' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐
4,5 'Farm arc' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐
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December 16, 2023
This volume was the fluffiest so far; the mutual pining was exquisite. I just loved seeing the way Mo Ran changed and became such a good person, and the way he dotes on Chu Wanning. :')
June 30, 2024
This book was so unapologetically horny if nothing else. Other than that it was a nice change of pace from the sadness this series usually has to other lmao.
December 27, 2023
Nobody told me that there is an entire volume of fluff, the most torturous yet romantic mutual yearning and just ✨Ranwan Ranwan Ranwan✨
April 27, 2024
Yes I’m up to date with the English translations. Also related note, the world sucks and I am desolate with despair.
After the heavy (but delicious) angst of the last three books, to say this gave me whiplash is an understatement. I was often times howling with laughter at the antics in this volume. Also that the near entirety of this book was the most beautifully written romantic but also downright horniest shit i have read between two characters.
They are down so bad for each other, and also are so fucking dumb. I just want to yell at them.
What he had felt for Mo Ran before was only love, which could be kept hidden. But right now, this man felt like nothing short of fire to him, a fire that could too easily set him ablaze like he was mere kindling, sending flames soaring up to scorch the skies. Magma that had lain dormant all this time stirred awake and stretched its limbs in the abyss deep within himself, ready to burst in a violent eruption at any time. It all threatened to burn through all the reservations, dignity, and restraint on which he had always prided himself… threatened to burn it all to ash, until there was nothing left.
Also
Mo Ran finally understood what love was. He was no virtuous ascetic; his love was hot and steamy, accompanied by the urge to conquer, by the slap of flesh against flesh, by the rushing of blood and the spilling of fluids. He was a wolf that could appreciate the scent of wild roses. But wolves had fangs, and tastes to match; what he fed on was not grass or flowers but blood and flesh.
After the heavy (but delicious) angst of the last three books, to say this gave me whiplash is an understatement. I was often times howling with laughter at the antics in this volume. Also that the near entirety of this book was the most beautifully written romantic but also downright horniest shit i have read between two characters.
They are down so bad for each other, and also are so fucking dumb. I just want to yell at them.
What he had felt for Mo Ran before was only love, which could be kept hidden. But right now, this man felt like nothing short of fire to him, a fire that could too easily set him ablaze like he was mere kindling, sending flames soaring up to scorch the skies. Magma that had lain dormant all this time stirred awake and stretched its limbs in the abyss deep within himself, ready to burst in a violent eruption at any time. It all threatened to burn through all the reservations, dignity, and restraint on which he had always prided himself… threatened to burn it all to ash, until there was nothing left.
Also
Mo Ran finally understood what love was. He was no virtuous ascetic; his love was hot and steamy, accompanied by the urge to conquer, by the slap of flesh against flesh, by the rushing of blood and the spilling of fluids. He was a wolf that could appreciate the scent of wild roses. But wolves had fangs, and tastes to match; what he fed on was not grass or flowers but blood and flesh.
July 5, 2024
chu wanning is actually starting to piss me off omfg if u don’t BE NICE TO THE MAN COURTING YOUR ASS OFF RN. then again, chu wanning could do anything and mo ran would be like 😍🥰😘😗😙😚😋😛😇🤩🥳🙂↕️ yes shizun i love you shizun i worship the ground you walk on shizun! MOTHERFUCKER, JUST KISS HIM???? PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY??? PLEASE FOR ALL OUR SAKES
September 4, 2024
друзья. все здесь присутствующие уже поняли, что это одна из лучших книг, которые я читала в своей жизни. типа ???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 ?????? это было супер трогательно + хот + YEARNING + ващееее ничего для плота не происходит, кроме разборок кто кого любит кто кого не любит. короче ОГРОМНЫЙ ФИЛЛЕР ФАНФИК-СТАЙЛ. потратила все закладки, которыми отмечаю sweet моменты
September 29, 2025
"I want to hold an umbrella over Shizun for as long as I live."
[..]
"For as long as you live?"
"For as long as I live."
"I might walk very fast, with no regard for you."
"That's alright, I'll chase after you."
"I might not want to talk anymore and just stand there."
"Then I'll stand with Shizun."
Agitated by his unfaltering answers, Chu Wanning flicked his sleeves and said, "Then what if I can't walk anymore?"
"I'll carry you."
pls PLSSSS JUST RIP OUT MY HEART AGAIN AND AGAIN 😭 this journey has been so sad so far but this volume had a change of pace and was more on the sweet and sad side rather than tragic and devastating 😭 so it made me super emotional because you can see how much they love each other and the yearning!!! my goodness!! all the unspoken things between them. i truly don't know how i am going to make it through this series in one piece 😭
finally mo ran has come to the realization of being in love with chu wanning. that man is loyal and dedicated af to chu wanning, he is the standard!!! it is literally chu wanning or no one else for him. in this volume, he even said if he never got to be with his shizun romantically, he's thankful and more than happy just being able to be by his side 😭❤️
"Shizun."
"What do you want?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to call out to you."
my ranking of fav volumes so far:
1. vol 3 - 5 stars
2. vol 4 - 4 stars
3. vol 2 - 4 stars
4. vol 1 - 3 stars
[..]
"For as long as you live?"
"For as long as I live."
"I might walk very fast, with no regard for you."
"That's alright, I'll chase after you."
"I might not want to talk anymore and just stand there."
"Then I'll stand with Shizun."
Agitated by his unfaltering answers, Chu Wanning flicked his sleeves and said, "Then what if I can't walk anymore?"
"I'll carry you."
pls PLSSSS JUST RIP OUT MY HEART AGAIN AND AGAIN 😭 this journey has been so sad so far but this volume had a change of pace and was more on the sweet and sad side rather than tragic and devastating 😭 so it made me super emotional because you can see how much they love each other and the yearning!!! my goodness!! all the unspoken things between them. i truly don't know how i am going to make it through this series in one piece 😭
finally mo ran has come to the realization of being in love with chu wanning. that man is loyal and dedicated af to chu wanning, he is the standard!!! it is literally chu wanning or no one else for him. in this volume, he even said if he never got to be with his shizun romantically, he's thankful and more than happy just being able to be by his side 😭❤️
"Shizun."
"What do you want?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to call out to you."
my ranking of fav volumes so far:
1. vol 3 - 5 stars
2. vol 4 - 4 stars
3. vol 2 - 4 stars
4. vol 1 - 3 stars
February 3, 2025
finally finished it, i have three things to say
first, chu wanning you little FREAK i love you
second, ranwan is definitely freak4freak coded
and finally, mengmeng my little hamster go marry hanxue
bottom line.. can't wait to see what happens to ye wangxi and i definitely wish to read this type of books for the rest of my life.
first, chu wanning you little FREAK i love you
second, ranwan is definitely freak4freak coded
and finally, mengmeng my little hamster go marry hanxue
bottom line.. can't wait to see what happens to ye wangxi and i definitely wish to read this type of books for the rest of my life.
May 25, 2024
Poor, poor Chu Wanning 😅 can't handle the "absolut unit"
May 4, 2023
Rating: 225699631235689752/5- I think I may need some therapy after reading this book. As of now, this book has topped my “best books ever read in my current lifetime” list.
I don’t think I’ve cried this much reading a tragedy novel as much as I cried during ErHa. Even though I don’t shy away from angsty tragedy novels- this was really excruciating. Like thinking of certain parts in the story still makes my stomach drop and heart race, like that’s how this book will affect you.
I binge read this book and all I can say is that it’s one excruciatingly painful and adrenaline pumping journey. I was so emotionally invested and affected from start to finish and it’s been such a long time for me to so deeply immerse myself in a character’s world since TGCF (HOB).
You know, firstly the author, Meatbun, is truly talented but wow! Can they inflict pain, damn. The dedication to every character created was so splendid and so beautifully written. No character behaved at the reader’s will and this story never once goes how you expect it to go. That thrill and edge is always there. The sting of heartbreak, pain, sacrifice and flawed humanity is so patiently and thoroughly told. You get sucked into this carefully weaved story that paints a vivid but numbingly painful experience. Each character’s story was so profoundly told with the right amount of detail, that you could create a connection with them, good or bad. I really felt joy and sorrow, genuinely, as I went through this book.
I think it will be hard to find a book like this, that hits you so deeply, in the future. It’s not an easy read and I felt truly exhausted, physically (coz I read into the wee hours of the morning) and emotionally, after reaching the end. It was a very bittersweet moment for me to finally put down the book and rest my eyes and also say goodbye to the world that I grew so immersed in and the characters I fell in love with.
The best love stories are the most painful love stories and the best love is the most flawed love. This book really showed me that and I felt like my romantic and masochistic heart had finally been beaten to death and resurrected. A beautifully bittersweet feeling.
In a way, this book really brings out your inner masochist if you can make it to the end- even if it’s with swollen eyes, a snotty nose and probably lying in a coffin awaiting your emotional destruction. It’s a masterpiece, a once in a lifetime kinda read, unforgettable and brilliant, beautiful and sorrowful. I probably won’t forget this book for years to come.
Here’s hoping that the series coming out in 2021 does it justice.
I don’t think I’ve cried this much reading a tragedy novel as much as I cried during ErHa. Even though I don’t shy away from angsty tragedy novels- this was really excruciating. Like thinking of certain parts in the story still makes my stomach drop and heart race, like that’s how this book will affect you.
I binge read this book and all I can say is that it’s one excruciatingly painful and adrenaline pumping journey. I was so emotionally invested and affected from start to finish and it’s been such a long time for me to so deeply immerse myself in a character’s world since TGCF (HOB).
You know, firstly the author, Meatbun, is truly talented but wow! Can they inflict pain, damn. The dedication to every character created was so splendid and so beautifully written. No character behaved at the reader’s will and this story never once goes how you expect it to go. That thrill and edge is always there. The sting of heartbreak, pain, sacrifice and flawed humanity is so patiently and thoroughly told. You get sucked into this carefully weaved story that paints a vivid but numbingly painful experience. Each character’s story was so profoundly told with the right amount of detail, that you could create a connection with them, good or bad. I really felt joy and sorrow, genuinely, as I went through this book.
I think it will be hard to find a book like this, that hits you so deeply, in the future. It’s not an easy read and I felt truly exhausted, physically (coz I read into the wee hours of the morning) and emotionally, after reaching the end. It was a very bittersweet moment for me to finally put down the book and rest my eyes and also say goodbye to the world that I grew so immersed in and the characters I fell in love with.
The best love stories are the most painful love stories and the best love is the most flawed love. This book really showed me that and I felt like my romantic and masochistic heart had finally been beaten to death and resurrected. A beautifully bittersweet feeling.
In a way, this book really brings out your inner masochist if you can make it to the end- even if it’s with swollen eyes, a snotty nose and probably lying in a coffin awaiting your emotional destruction. It’s a masterpiece, a once in a lifetime kinda read, unforgettable and brilliant, beautiful and sorrowful. I probably won’t forget this book for years to come.
Here’s hoping that the series coming out in 2021 does it justice.
September 26, 2024
i fear that i need this entire volume tattooed on my forehead as well
the mutual pining, the yearning, and THE tension?
delightful.
also, Mo Ran, Chu Wanning, if you're reading this :), BANG ALREADY!
the mutual pining, the yearning, and THE tension?
delightful.
also, Mo Ran, Chu Wanning, if you're reading this :), BANG ALREADY!
December 16, 2023
A lot of fun, even if it's a bit funny that Vol. 3 was a tragedy and Vol. 4 is a comedy. I'm looking forward to seeing where the author goes next!
August 29, 2024
What “Farm arc”? This is clearly the “Thirst Arc”. 😏
While I enjoyed the growing thirst between these two, the sheer amount of repetitions was tiring to read sometimes.
While I enjoyed the growing thirst between these two, the sheer amount of repetitions was tiring to read sometimes.
August 21, 2025
5 ⭐️ My favourite volume so far
November 22, 2024
" his heart quivered, writhing in pain. On one hand, he considered himself unworthy... Yet on the other,there was a constant yearning in him"
Very well, i enjoy re reading haha, and know I must confess I started liking Mo Ran now ; he's a good character. His inner dilemma between feeling this desire and love -unattanaible - was very interesting to read for you realized how he once separated love - as a precious; treasured emotion- and thought that he shall not defile the one he loved, just to conclude that " love and desire go together" and that he was mistaken when it comes to the person he actually likes. I like this character complexity where we are able to see his " - hatred "and this " twisted posessive attitude" to this mixed feelings that ended up in grattitude to finalize discover " love" buried deep down, it really gave the sensation that something was off in his behaviour.
Also, another point that i really liked is that we get to see these two lifetimes diverge and how that deeply impacts on Mo Ran's own fears: is it a dream? If he wakes up will everything vanish? Does he deserves this second chance? Will all this warmth fade and he 'll find himself alone in hell?
Last but not least, the tension between, the tension, the yearning!! The descriptions, those made smile like a lovefool... it felt so... candid and at the same time so unholy - cough cough page 345 -
I'll stop this review here, I must say that im re reading novels I like so you wont find bad ratings in my gr. Looking forward to continue in vol 5.
Very well, i enjoy re reading haha, and know I must confess I started liking Mo Ran now ; he's a good character. His inner dilemma between feeling this desire and love -unattanaible - was very interesting to read for you realized how he once separated love - as a precious; treasured emotion- and thought that he shall not defile the one he loved, just to conclude that " love and desire go together" and that he was mistaken when it comes to the person he actually likes. I like this character complexity where we are able to see his " - hatred "and this " twisted posessive attitude" to this mixed feelings that ended up in grattitude to finalize discover " love" buried deep down, it really gave the sensation that something was off in his behaviour.
Also, another point that i really liked is that we get to see these two lifetimes diverge and how that deeply impacts on Mo Ran's own fears: is it a dream? If he wakes up will everything vanish? Does he deserves this second chance? Will all this warmth fade and he 'll find himself alone in hell?
Last but not least, the tension between, the tension, the yearning!! The descriptions, those made smile like a lovefool... it felt so... candid and at the same time so unholy - cough cough page 345 -
I'll stop this review here, I must say that im re reading novels I like so you wont find bad ratings in my gr. Looking forward to continue in vol 5.
March 22, 2024
"As I approach home my nervousness grows, I dare not ask even those passing by"
June 10, 2025
my most favorite volume by far, tons of cute moments to heal the pain that was vol 3
also next vol ft. Mo Ran the matchmaker? 🤭
also next vol ft. Mo Ran the matchmaker? 🤭
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