Go get yourself a copy of this book right now. Pam is a prolific writer and storyteller, and this is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. She weaves the story of her life into the history of Wales, finding connections in the present day to legends from long ago. And of course her personal history in Wales shows just how entwined person and place can be. In Pam’s case, the two are inseparable. I love the way she described time, as if it folds on top of itself— it made me think about how time and experience and relationships aren’t linear, everything is happening all the time and perhaps we are just viewing it all through a singular, distorted sense. It’s something us humans can’t quite describe, though Pam comes pretty close. In one section she describes time as a thing that “recycles, repeats, is destroyed and renewed. Experience is round like the earth itself.” Pam describes a deep intimacy with time and place. Pam also describes Wales as being labeled as “other” throughout history, its people were called outsiders, they were the underdogs, they were different. Pam shares her own stories of being an outsider too, of being on the precipice of something. Her narrative illustrates the many ways that “hiraeth” has manifested in her life through the lenses of language, age, technology, creativity, queer love, and much more… in ways that are universal and extremely personal. I particularly appreciated the queer love story that is woven throughout all the chapters, as a queer person myself it was inspiring and emotional, and so vivid. An important story to put out into the world. I wanted to underline every sentence in the book. They all just HIT. In my head I kept screaming YES!!!!!!! Pam not only includes rich content, but she writes beautifully. Her words are rhythmic, thoughtful, and unexpected. They flow like the rolling hills in Wales, or the sound of the Welsh language itself. As a writer I was learning so much from her, observing the rich way she activated all the senses and linked all her words and phrases together in a poetic rhythm. Pam’s story is one about becoming in touch with the world on every level, from visceral geological touch to loving the people she is surrounded with and forming communities. Pam takes us on her journey to understand of the meaning of her life and how it relates to everything and everyone around her — as they are, as they were, and how they will be. Such a rich, beautiful read that is contemplative, inspiring, warm and so so fulfilling. There’s no way to do it justice in a review, but this book is absolutely 5/5 stars and you should go read it now!!
Here are a few quotes I pulled that I enjoyed (sorry I forgot to write down the page numbers):
“I found out pretty quickly I liked rain. The way it left my skin feeling intelligent and awake”
“The song—the flavor, the smell—of stones”
“Ahead of me the Beacons’ bald flanks were furrowed like elephant skin in clouded, ashes-of-roses light”
“‘Scarred her, it did,’ he said without anger, as if this were a story he’d known so long that all the rage had bled out of it.”