This was an interesting memoir of a woman who wanted to cultivate magic but was turned off by anything that smacked of religion. From her earlier years discovering the magic that dwelt in fantasy stories, she sought to bring that feeling of the magical into real life. Born and raised in a Jewish family, she rejected the practice of a faith that she saw as rote, and felt hypocritical practicing traditional rituals she didn't believe in. Yet she was drawn to Celtic mysticism and eventually went to study with an herbalist in Ireland. She was on a quest for her true identity, feeling that her given name did not fit (Maia Toll is not her given name), nor that her background encompassed all that she felt she embodied. Her journey to that point involved her learning how to trust her intuition and the wisdom of her body. The text is sprinkled with short lessons from both traditional herbalism and earth magic, which is usually referred to as witchcraft. An example: To ground yourself, rub sage oil on the soles of your feet (replace with lavender if you have epilepsy or seizures). Stand barefoot. Stretch your arms overhead, reaching through the rib cage. Imagine your feet becoming roots, spreading out, anchoring in. Your arms become branches, swaying, gently feeling the breezes of the world around you. She practices grounding a lot, because she tends to be emotional and dramatic. Paying attention to her feelings, as she does in cultivating her intuition, skewed one way, and grounding was needed to balance with a dose of rationality. Hers is a brave journey, not following a straight path, and at one point she sells or gives away her house and all of her belongings to free her to pursue a different career and purpose, all based on a dream (the nighttime kind).
While it is an interesting story, somehow I felt it was lacking. What I had read it for - how to invite more magic into your life - seemed to be missing. I also had been drawn to fantasy stories as a teen for that magical quality, and we also shared interests in archaeology, herbal craft, photography, landscape design, and jewelry making, so I felt some resonance with her search for direction. (The author also lives in the same town as I do.) I realize this is a memoir, not a how-to (and I was not interested in a manual on witchcraft), but the airy-fairy quality, which, in her earlier years at least, she rejected, seems to win out. There were some moments in nature or in appreciating her surroundings or people in her life that she describes in a beautiful way. Certainly her expanding intuitive skills added a magical quality to her life, but she doesn't convey exactly how she did it. She had used Tarot cards for years in a playful way. There were some witchy rituals, but it was mostly an interior openness. I found it odd that she embraced witchcraft while rejecting religious beliefs, like it was possible to divorce the ritualized magic from its pagan roots and beliefs in various gods and goddesses. Yet she would make offerings to a household goddess/guardian. I know witchcraft is not considered a religion, but it does have a spiritual world view. She rejected the idea of blessings and prayers, yet practiced them in a different context. It was as if any practice that she associated with mainstream religion, or even belief in God (at least in the Jewish patriarchal deity), was somehow not legit and to be avoided. Her prejudices seemed to conflict with her desire.
There are some parts that might be disturbing to certain readers, including 9/11 and abortion. While I think this book would be interesting to people with a metaphysical bent, it is not for everyone. However, I was intrigued enough that I would be interested to learn how she came back from her studies in Ireland and created a life for herself here. She writes well, and I enjoy reading her newsletter on Substack, and sometime I may venture into her shop downtown.