*Thank you to Netgalley and Harlequin for allowing me to read this ARC edition in exchange for an honest review.*
If I had to describe this book in one word, it would be “bland”. It started off rather dull and just didn’t improve. I’m not saying I hated this book but I also didn’t really enjoy it and there were some…issues. This is the first book of Roan Parrish’s that I’ve read. I tried reading Riven (which has a little Easter Egg mention in this book), and just couldn’t get into it. So, I wasn’t sure I’d care for this one anyway, but I decided to give it a shot. From my running notes with elaboration:
There is an inconsistent speech and dialog pattern to each of the main characters. I noticed this almost immediately, particularly with Zachary. He is also, apparently, one of those annoying people who will make the automatic assumption that an “odd” name is a nickname and correct for what he thinks their “proper” name is (In this case, Bram is Abraham, which it is not –it’s Bramble, which…okay, I’m not even going to go there). In his defense, Zachary does know immediately that this was kind of an asshole move, but…I was still annoyed as a person who has this done to them regularly.
On page 22, I note that there is already a lot of “vaguebook”-ese here. Rather than just laying things out, its all being hidden for…later? It doesn’t add drama, it just ends up being annoying.
Bram makes a joke in reference to the virgin survivor horror trope, but it isn’t clear that it is a joke?
This was also around the time when I started questioning whether Zachary is neurodivergent. Like, that doesn’t need to spelled out, but that was the vibe I was getting, and I feel like if he WAS that was a conversation that they should have had in trying to understand one another.
I have the note: “Decapitation works for all monsters, actually”. You’re severing the spinal cord. It’s not like a vampire can just re-attach its head. Please go watch some Buffy or something.
I literally gasped out loud and said “WHAT THE FUCK” to Zachary dumping the paint on the dragon. Is he a CHILD with no impulse control? It made absolutely NO SENSE to me that he would do that, even if he was mad, because…he is a very controlled person in ALL of his actions. The ONLY thing it did was make Bram seem naïve, taking it as a “prank”. I wanted to pat him on the head and explain to him what a prank is. (And I have no patience for pranks; I think they are a stupid waste of time and if they people who pulled them spent nearly as much time and brainpower on real issues, we could cure cancer). So, the prank war: dumb, dumb, dumb.
The Glitter Bomb in the mailbox also made me mad. It’s a federal crime to compromise a mailbox. Period. This was not a “fun joke”. It was criminal.
Chapter 12 contained what had to be the absolute dumbest sex scene I have ever read in all my years of romance reading (…which, we won’t talk about how long that’s been, but a majority of my life). They didn’t even get partly naked. To me, it struck me as them being uncontrolled teenagers. What part of ejaculating in your pants is hot? Mutually. Yuck. But, I guess, they do their own laundry so…if that’s what floats their boat.
Bram’s level of scare tolerance is ridiculous. Everything about his reactions (…and frankly, most of the contents of this book) are so campy. Not in a good way. A lot of stereotyping. Rye also brings up their little queer group connection a few times, which…okay, valid. Queers are great at finding other queers and there is only one instance of potential homophobia in this book, when Zachary feels like a kid is staring at them on a hay ride. Either homophobia exists in this community or it doesn’t and that felt like a really unnecessary addition to that scene.
I also got a bit perturbed about the cat shelters. I loved the idea, but you CANNOT put blankets and towels in them. In severe weather, a cat could freeze to the fabric. The only thing you should use in shelters for outdoor/stray/feral cats is straw. Some feral cats probably wouldn’t even *use* something with a blanket or fabric mat. It’s unnatural to them. So, this was a missed research opportunity to impart some factual knowledge to a reader. It didn’t need to be preachy, but I can see someone reading this book and going, “Oh, they did this fun thing...” and not diving down that rabbit hole themselves.
The last note I have is a note about Zachary paying rent. I could be wrong, as I didn’t want to go back and try to find it, but doesn’t it say somewhere that he owns his house? Given its odd architectural design (…which is never mentioned again after Bram’s initial observance) I would think that purchase would have been a priority over renting? But again…I could be wrong and have just misread. Given the extreme boredom in between the bouts of just pure wrongness, I’m sure things slipped through.
I am also very put out that there is no conclusion around the disappearance of Zachary’s sister. Sure, people don’t always get closure to those situations. It’s a sad fact of life. But…this isn’t real life, nothing about this book is realistic, and frankly: I needed to know if she was alive or dead and whether or not having closure would have improved his relationship with his parents.
The overall conclusion: I certainly didn’t love this book, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, but it wasn’t a complete and total waste of time. The dialog in general was just…hard to read at times. I am mildly curious about the other books in the series (particularly, I feel like Rye could be a very likable character, but I’d probably end up disappointed), so I’m not sure that I would actually pick up the others unless I really needed something to read and it was readily available to me.