Reclaim

by Ahona Guha

A groundbreaking book that will expand your thinking, whether you are a trauma survivor, a clinician, someone who loves a survivor, or someone seeking to understand abuse.In Reclaim , expert forensic and clinical psychologist Dr Ahona Guha explores complex traumas, how survivors can recover and heal, and the nature of those who abuse. She shines a light on the ‘difficult’ trauma victims that society often ignores, and tackles vital questions that plague ‘Why are psychological abuse and coercive control so difficult to spot?’, ‘What kinds of behaviours should we see as red flags?’, and ‘Why do some people harm others, and how do we protect ourselves from them?’In her forensic work, Dr Guha has had extensive experience with those who perpetrate harm, and she has a deep understanding of the psychological and social factors that cause people to abuse, bully, and harass others. In turn, her clinical work has led her to recognise the impacts of complex trauma, and the way our systems fail those who have been victimised. By emphasising compassion above all else, Dr Guha gives a call to one that will help us reclaim a safer, healthier society for everyone.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Audiobook, Medicine, Self Help

256 pages, Paperback

Published March 9, 2023

About the author

Ahona Guha is the author of Reclaim: understanding complex trauma and those who abuse (2023) and Life Skills for a Broken World (2024), both published by Scribe. She writes widely on matters related to mental health, health, social justice and equity. Her work has appeared in The Age, The Guardian, The Saturday Paper and Breathe Magazine, among many others. She can be found at www.ahonaguha.com.

Reviews

[Suz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This a remarkably outstanding book, which, unfortunately, I did not sit down to write a review as soon as I'd finished the book. Here are my initial thoughts which was helpful for myself to gather:

• This book is a keeper
• For sufferers/trauma victims
• Carers
• Students
• Health care professionals
• First responders
• Politicians
• Teachers (of all cohorts, from 0-tertiary)
• Those of us who are empaths
• Social workers/criminologists/case workers/Police workers

The author freely states she has been through her own type of trauma in younger years, and clearly outlines how those working in health care professional roles and first responders are very vulnerable in suffering trauma from their very nature of employment.

It made me shudder when the author tells of her own story of therapists crossing boundaries in her own therapy and suggesting church attendance at the therapist’s church. Also disturbing is the amount of professionals who also abuse. The effects of abusive therapy create a whole new set of problems, as well as not addressing those originally intended. So messy and a continued cycle of trauma and mayhem.

This book is very comprehensive and scientific, but equally understandable for the layperson. The angle for this author is one of forensic psychology, so she captures those in a system that may not be able to get out; their wounds and actions too deep - but not always 'just because'. The majority of those who abuse have been abused (the author completely argues that nothing is condoned, but eloquently described as to many of the reasons why).

This skilled professional and writer has written a terrific account of what many may not have considered before. Why do individuals lay such horrific harm on others, and why try to 'reclaim'?

Relational trauma which occurs within relationships we hold with others and could be emotional, physical, or sexual and impacts sufferers for life. This concept to reclaim shines some rays of hope, light, and new beginnings to promote new growth over what can be life threatening and dreadful experiences.
It implies recapturing; dredging solid ground from the slow sulk of swamp, drifting tendrils of green over landscape charred by fires and devastation.

An interesting concept is big T (life threatening) trauma, and little t (non life-threatening). As the author rightly points out, social media has made a mess of what is trauma when spoken of by non-professionals. I implore anyone with an interest in this topic to pick up this book; it may contain a serious tone but this is an extremely important read for any of the above listed.

With my sincere thanks to the team @scribepub, and Marina for providing me with an advanced reading copy. It is difficult to say I loved this book, given the content, but - I loved this book. I'd give anything for Dr Ahona Guha to counsel me.

This book is now going to my daughter, newly graduated (with distinction Bachelor Criminology – I digress and have a proud mumma moment!) who looks after children in care/mentoring and dealing with their families. She will learn a lot from this book.

[Nat K · Rating 4 out of 5]

” Why ‘reclaim’, you ask?
Reclamation is defined as the process of claiming something back or reasserting a right. It implies recapturing; dredging solid ground from the slow sulk of swamp, drifting tendrils of green over landscape charred by fires and devastation. It implies life, hope growth – and the slow march of the new over what was once ruined.”

This is such a well thought out and easily accessible book for non-healthy-industry workers such as myself to read and understand. I found the topics covered to be very interesting, as I could see links between the case studies on the pages and the society around me. We all impact each other, whether we’re aware of this or not. This book is written with warmth and more than a touch of humour for such serious subjects.

There are all sorts of issues covered here, from spotting a narcissist, and crank callers (there is an actual technical name for this, which I've forgotten!), to burnout and relationship difficulties. Then onto the tougher areas of stalking, sexual offences, threats and domestic violence.

The flow on effect being that the first responders, social workers and mental health workers take on the worries and can themselves be impacted by what they deal with on a daily basis.

I’m not usually one that reads about more difficult subjects, as I find them too confronting. But this is done with care and empathy. I picked this book up as I follow Dr Guha on Instagram, and find her approach to be refreshing. I appreciated that Dr Guha was so balanced in providing stories from both sides of the coin. From how a trauma survivor views the world and how they can start the process to recover, to the perpetrators who commit appalling acts (as often it’s a vicious cycle that continues to perpetuate). It cannot be easy to be so even minded.

I found that as the book progressed, I found the topics to be more and more interesting. Particularly the ones Why People Harm, Managing Harmful People, and Caring for the Carer. I think that even if you’re blessed enough to not have undergone trauma yourself, most of us will have someone we love who has undergone a form of it. So this book gives you a better understanding of what they’re going through, and a sense of how you can perhaps be more mindful of their situation and help them.

”We must go the long way sometimes, hold fast despite the tedium, until we can look at the new ground we have uncovered and say – this is mine, I found this, I remade this.”

Dr Ahona Guha is a Clinical and Forensic Psychologist based in Victoria, Australia. Her work includes helping people with all manner of mental health (anxiety, depression, burnout, relationship problems), to dealing with perpetrators who commit violent acts against others.

It’s a tough gig. I cannot imagine doing it. But what I admire and find refreshing, is that so many times throughout this book, that regardless of the grim reality of what she’s seen and dealt with, Dr Guha talks about hope. Often. Hope that change can occur (regardless of how slowly) and that society can recover and heal.

”I hope that above all, this book can bring hope.”

On a lighter note, she strongly encourages people to get out in nature, rest, catch up with close friends, enjoy a good meal and a fine wine. And that pets are the best therapy! Dr Guha has a rescue greyhound who is utterly gorgeous. I can’t say enough how much following her account on Instagram helped me when I lost my beautiful Mum a few years back. Crazy as it might seem, following the adventures of Karla took me out of myself for a while, and to smile through the tears. So pets (even if they’re someone else’s) are truly the best.

”I wish for kindness and gentleness, understanding, the ability to accept your stories, to reclaim and rewrite the parts of your being which have been broken, to find safety in whichever way fits best for you and to know resilience and hope, without needing to find perfection. There is none, even in healing - there is just the gentleness of being enough.”

[Camila - Books Through My Veins · Rating 5 out of 5]

- thanks to @scribepub for my #gifted copy

I am naturally curious, but I have always had a particular interest in psychology. I have read many Non-Fiction books that delve into human behaviour and the functioning of the mind, but I have never read a Psychology book as equally fulfilling and challenging as Reclaim.

Reading about trauma is never easy, but it is extra difficult when you see yourself identified on the pages. I would like to say that my experience with emotional abuse had nothing to do with my experience reading this book, but it did. I saw myself reflected on these pages. I felt seen in ways I have never been by others. Dr Guha's words gave me reassurance, peace and forgiveness; for this, I will forever adore this book.

Reclaim is full of insight regardless of personal experiences with abuse. Dr Guha covers a lot about trauma (for such an accessible, non-academic book) and explores several aspects of it, including breaking up stereotypes of both the abused and the abuser. What is outstanding is that she does this with care and compassion worth witnessing. I could feel it through her words.

Sometimes it does not help to understand why people hurt us, but sometimes it does. Identifying responsibility is an excellent step towards healing, and Dr Guha explains how to do this with helpful and easy-to-understand examples and reasonings. She is very considerate and thoughtful when explaining situations and ideas through inclusive language. She also separates individuals with formal clinical diagnoses from the ones we (without training) quickly diagnose. Because how many of us have used terms like PTSD or narcissism a bit too loosely? Something also worth thinking about.

In addition to all the valuable things I have learned, I want to emphasise how much I enjoyed Dr Guha's writing. It was an utter pleasure to read her words. I am still amazed by her talent and language skills.

Overall, Reclaim is a must-read. Regardless of personal experience, I can confidently declare that every reader will learn something from this unmissable book.

[Carly Dober · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mental health worker, I was grateful that Ahona has delivered a succinct, well researched and accessible book on trauma with so much contemporary discourse on the area. A great read!

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Guha has a fabulous balance between precise, clinical language, warmth and anecdote which makes Reclaim feel both trustworthy and relatable. The book covers a lot of bases, moving between guide for those seeking insight into themselves, those seeking insight into how people can harm and even some sections aimed at carers and practitioners.
While many will seek this out for the guidance on how to understand the impact of trauma on your own life, I was most engaged with the insights from her forensic training and practice, in seeking to normalise conversations around harm and better understand how trauma contributes to destructive behaviours. She is careful to neither imply that trauma always causes harmful behaviours, nor to excuse or minimise the responsibility of perpetrators. (This is, in general, a very careful book). But by connecting harmful behaviours to causes, she also provides pathways for societies to move forward. She discusses many of these factually and dispassionately, including why she thinks coercive control laws are a recipe for disaster, why incarceration is usually not helpful and more nuanced exploration of gender and violence than I can sum up at the end of sentence.
I didn't agree with all her perspectives, but I appreciated the blend of social responsibility, clinical rigour and empathy very much. And most of the practicality - this is a book by someone who cares about what we can do right now, to make ourselves and those around us, a little happier and a little less distressed.

[Sharah McConville · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reclaim: Understanding Complex Trauma and Those Who Abuse is a very insightful non-fiction book by Dr Ahona Guha. Dr Guha a is clinical and forensic psychologist with extensive knowledge of trauma and abuse. As someone who has experienced trauma due to harmful personal relationships, I found this book to be very eye-opening, helpful and at times, challenging however, I am grateful to have read it and learnt many things. I enjoyed the different case studies discussed and feel that Dr Guha is an expert in her field. She is also a survivor of past abuse. Thanks to Scribe Publications and the author for my copy of this book.

[Rosie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A current and accurate summary of the experiences of trauma and encourages the reader to challenge beliefs about those who harm.

Would recommend this book to anyone and everyone, but especially mental health workers and first-responders.

[Sarah Hartree · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant and insightful - a book everyone should read.

[Arishna Saxena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant read for anyone working in the mental health space and even those trying to navigate through their own trauma.

[Hester K V Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Although I found some of the subject matter covered to be quite binary (man/woman/cis/het), the author tackles what I have always felt is a fairly inaccessible and sterilised topic through compassion, “human” language, and a political lens. The latter I find essential to the book, and what sets it apart from others on the subject - I find it interesting that the author doesn’t shy away from a more apolitical/neutral position other professionals would take to preserve objectivity/impartiality in their work. To make the work around healing and preventing traumas truly effective, she says, this requires adopting a more radical stance and challenging obstacles across the social and political spectrum. I found her perspectives energising.

[Emily Webb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredibly insightful and important book by Dr Ahona Guha that talks honestly about reasons why people do harmful behaviours and how complex trauma presents. Importantly too it explores ways that people can begin to seek support.

[Brea Roadley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential reading for everyone working in mental health.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an honest, engaging, informative insight into the experience of trauma. Importantly, it considers the complexity of the impacts of trauma for both victims and perpetrators. Also, this book provides practical information and personal experiences to illustrate key concepts. An interesting and engaging read, however, is potentially worth reading a little at a time as needed.

[Brooke Alice (brookes.bookstagram) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a read!

Dr Ahona Guha has tackled such a fascinating, deeply impactful and vulnerable part of ourselves.

This book encapsulates and unpicks complex trauma, the abuse and the abuser through case studies. As a clinician and a survivor, this hits all the feels and is deeply and powerfully written.

What stood out to me is the overwhelming data that so many abusers have their own abuse history that precipitated and may have perpetuated their future actions. Being in the justice system, it is very regular to hear about people's own trauma histories and the profound impact that it's had on them and their coping mechanisms.

This book is insightful and helpful in regards to understanding trauma, and having strategies, coping mechanisms and a deeper understanding for all of us to better heal and help those that need healing.

For many, this book is a great angle and lens on complex trauma, and opened up a window of opportunity for so many to deepen their learning and understanding. So glad I was able to have the opportunity to read this book!

Thank you to Scribe Publishing for a review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Cass Moriarty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reclaim (Scribe Publications 2023) is a non-fiction book by Dr Ahona Guha about ‘understanding complex trauma and those who abuse’. A clinical and forensic psychologist, Dr Guhu provides a highly accessible work that covers a lot of ground, and is illustrated by composite case studies of her own patients, and some detail about her own experience of trauma.

Reclaim examines the psychology of complex trauma and survivors through a lens of mental health, social justice and equity, diversity, advocacy and those historically marginalised. Dr Guha asks ‘can we have a world free of violence and harm?’ and through exploring changing behaviours and systems, whether we can move towards hope, healing and optimism.

The book covers every type of trauma including the worst kinds of child sexual abuse, sexual violence, coercive control, stalking and physical abuse, and the author is clear in her introduction that as a reader, you must be aware of recognising triggers and allowing yourself to pause, and to seek professional help if you are currently in crisis. That said, Reclaim is a fascinating insight into different types of trauma, survivors, abusers, institutional abuse and invites the reader to enter a full and open discussion about these issues.

Dr Guha initially writes of the pandemic being a kind of global trauma that has revisited the question ‘what is trauma?’ and how it is defined. It talks about support, punishment, about owning your own journey and about hope. She says ‘There are few monsters in this life, but there are many damaged people who damage other people’, this in reference to explaining but not excusing the inflicting of trauma.

Each chapter navigates a specific topic. In Chapter 1, Understanding Relational Trauma, she introduces the reader to different types of trauma and why some people heal while others do not. She discusses labels, re-traumatisation by the system, diversity, representation, trauma myths and the difference between ‘difficulties’ and ‘trauma’. Chapter 2, Impacts of Complex Trauma and Betrayal, refers to defence mechanisms, trauma and shame, trauma responses, the importance of boundaries, beliefs, hypervigilance, common patterns and identity.

The Trauma Survivor in the World, Chapter 3, discusses confusion, fragmentation, defences, compensatory mechanisms, patterns of behaviour in reaction to trauma, emotional regulation or management and the impact of fractured relationships. Chapter 4, The Tasks of Relational Trauma Recovery, examines recognition and acknowledgement, choosing appropriate therapy, healing, naming and accepting traumas, the idea of radical acceptance and the differences between fighting for justice and that ‘sometimes just the quietness of being is enough’. Processing traumatic memories and managing the impact of trauma, and looking beyond the trauma to a life of purpose and meaning includes sections on labelling, where to go for help, safe therapists and boundaries.

Chapter 5 talks about The Difficult Trauma Victim and the binary of victim/perpetrator, and Chapter 6, Why People Harm, examines a range of harmful behaviour, childhood upbringing, social catalysts, entitlement and personality difficulties. Dr Guhu states: ‘We all have the capacity to harm, given the right psychological underpinnings and circumstances’. Chapter 7 is about Identifying Harmful People: using your intuition, giving yourself permission to act protectively, looking for red flags and patterns, predatory behaviour, secrecy and the traffic light flag system. She writes about the past being the best predictor of future behaviour and covers current ‘trendy’ words such as gaslighting, toxic, manipulation and triggering. Boundary breaches, consent, flexibility, secretive behaviour, feeling above the law, psychological coercion and common psychological coercive behaviours are all examined. She discusses workplace bullying, the principles in practice (safety, respect, pace of friendship development, noticing how people treat others, identifying good relationships). She talks about balance and being accountable and states that ‘Safe relationships have mutually recognised limits and boundaries, and a commitment to respectfully negotiate these boundaries. Power isn’t used indiscriminately…’

Managing Harmful People is the topic of Chapter 8, including stalkers, decreased power, increased agency, strong boundaries, managing interactions, enlisting help, taking personal responsibility, addressing bad behaviour, systematic change and responding to trauma disclosures. Chapter 9 is The Politics of Trauma (socio-political, funding, what we legitimise, who we blame, what is palatable, expectations of survivors, rules around gender and power and diversity). She explains that ‘Many women are harmed by men, some men are harmed by women, some men are harmed by men, not all men harm, and some men harm’ and that these are not mutually exclusive facts. Risk assessment and how we fail victims is also discussed.

The final section, Chapter 10, is titled Caring for the Carer, and examines chronic burnout, compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, a trauma-informed care framework, education and support structures. Reclamation is defined as the ‘process of claiming something back or reasserting a right’. Dr Guha talks about the necessity to build a trauma-informed community and to have a genuine desire to do better. She asks what do we need as a society and as individuals to contribute to recovery from trauma and to lead to life, hope and regrowth? It seems commitment, being brave and speaking out are some answers towards reclaiming and rewriting ‘the parts of your being which have broken.’

This book is a nuanced exploration of the nature of trauma, the people it affects, and how we might, both as individuals and as a society, reduce its harm. Dr Guha’s final words are fittingly about gentleness, understanding, resilience and hope. If these subjects resonate with you, I highly recommend this book as a complex examination of thinking and behaviour around this issue.

[Rahul · Rating 4 out of 5]

The more tangible "individual" has always been easier to understand/connect with than the more abstract "system" - whether it's microeconomics vs macroeconomics, historical fiction through the eyes of a select few characters vs non-fiction history books, and psychology vs sociology. Guha's Reclaim is a powerful book with a micro focus (how trauma impacts individuals) informed with larger sociological thinking - e.g. sociocultural, political, gender. It's an important reminder as trauma is complex and perpetrators of harm often have a history of trauma themselves. Unfortunately, across all domains, we often focus on macro thinking to the detriment of micro, and individuals may suffer because of it. For example, Guha identifies as a feminist, sets and communicates clear boundaries with clients to protect herself (particularly from men), and is cognisant that are many structural/sociocultural factors that lead to partner violence with male perpetrators. She states that some female clients understandably become fearful of all men after suffering gender-based violence, and she often has to work with them over months/years to challenge ideas that they have that hurt them (i.e. all men perpetrate harm). 

Guha reminds us that the two can exist; that all men (materially benefit, to varying degrees, from the patriarchy, so have an obligation to use their power to fight against it, applying a sociological lense) but not all men (perpetrate harm, notwithstanding the fact all individuals will hurt their loved ones mentally/emotionally by virtue of their relationship, applying a psychological lens). The same framing was introduced to me while (briefly) studying teaching but I think it can be applied to most domains. It has helped mitigate my anger at the neo-nazi rallies here in Australia (but not at those that destroyed Camp Sovereignty and perpetrated violence of course).

At different junctures, Guha made me reflect on my own past and how it has impacted me - I don't think I gave proper weight to the impact childhood bullying on racial grounds, both implicitly and explicitly, as one of the only POC kids at my high school, impacted me and continues to inform the way I move in the world. I suppressed my cultural identity - I did not feel psychologically safe to express this part of myself when I was younger, and I thought I had to actively distance myself from it to fit in. It helped me survive when I was younger, but now, even so many years later, I still carry some shame associated when expressing my cultural identity. It's a WIP, but framing those childhood incidences as (potentially) traumatic, and that I can reclaim the lost parts of myself with work is helpful and encouraging.

🔊 I listened to the audiobook while running, so there might have been parts I missed. Though I think this was a nice way to read this book, as I think it's the broader messaging points that are the most important than the finer details (for which it's best to actually see a psych etc). Though note this isn't a self-help book, but naturally you'll start to examine your life experiences from the lens Guha provides.

[Thomas Edmund · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've kind of gotten over my 'toxic/abuse' phase of non-fiction but I've had Reclaim sitting in my recommended for a while so I gave in and read through it.

Not that I had low expectations but I was still pleasantly surprised at the in depth, sensitive and interesting take on the subject. The first half is largely focused on the experience of trauma - and in my opinion has an excellent balance of not going too far. Trauma is actually quite a controversial subject and there are many books out there that will make bold and further reaching claims than are justified (there is still a lot we simply don't know about trauma).

The second half of the book focuses on abuse, and is a sort of mix of discussing how hurt people hurt others and how challenging it can be to be both sympathetic to the trauma of an abuser while still maintaining boundaries and standing against abuse. I felt like this section was a little more undernourished than the first halve - but given that the book is predominantly about trauma and not causing trauma this makes sense in context.

Finally something that is addressed in this book which is rarely mentioned elsewhere is the politics of trauma. This sounds like a strange topic, but trauma (and mental health in general) is a very political issue. It's not just issues like whether trauma is recognized as a problem, but also how the issues is discussed and responded to on every level.

As a fellow professional the book probably sat well with me - its well balanced between technical info, case-studies and arguments from the author. I'm not sure I'd recommend the book as a first dive into the subject but definitely if like me also you've read a lot on the topic this is an excellent additional to your read-shelf.

[Kate Ton · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute Unicorn of a book. Dr Guha manages to simply explain the complexity of the psyche of both victims and perpetrators of harm, the concept of victim-perpetrators, and acknowledges that there is a complete absence of black and white when it comes to understanding the psychology behind crime, including gendered crimes. It is an absolute breath of fresh air to hear such intelligent discussion about the nuances of forensic psychology, directly juxtaposing the populist attitude of loudly adopting binary views on complex issues.
The holistic approach to understanding the implications of this not only for victims and perpetrators, but also wider society and for those in health professional roles, as well as the practical strategies provided, make this a compelling reference for anyone and everyone wanting to identify and manage those who harm, as well as those passionate about prevention for the generations to come.

[Giovanna Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really informative and interesting read. Guha outlines definitions for clarity, so there is no confusion as to what you think certain terms might mean (we hear many used, or thrown around, but not always used correctly).
It does require some concentration, it took me a while to get through, but that was ok. There is a lot to digest. Guha writes clearly, dispassionately - which is a good thing- to help understand behaviour. She also offers suggestions of how to improve 'the system' which I found intriguing - eg offering female victims help, but not so much male victims - or perpetrators - and the study with which this assistance is based on (from 1980) and how it is outdated and needs to be reassessed.
An Australian point of view, which is also great.

I would have liked an index and perhaps listing at the end of some of the current assistance available.

[Artemis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book.
As a trauma survivor and psychology-adjacent in my post-secondary education I find many books on trauma/abuse to be severely lacking for so many reasons. This book is not lacking in my eyes and is so dearly needed.
Dr Ahona Guha delivers important information with a sense of dry humor that made me laugh more than once. She also refuses to dodge "controversial" issues that are blatantly obvious as problematic but people would rather not talk about for the sake of civility (racism/religion stuff).

Where nuance is needed, nuance is given.
Where there's no nuance to give, nothing is given.

I have so much gratitude for all the work that went into giving me a book that tells me that it is okay to heal. Thank you.

[Pip Snort · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book argues along lines that I have been thinking for 15 years or more and gives a very helpful, albeit concise, examination of trauma and its effects, individually, collectively and sociologically.

Among other things, Dr Guha argues that the gender norms model which dominates political discourse in relation to violence is at best hopelessly inadequate and at worst masks the reasons underpinning violent offending and directs government services and funding away from people who need it and services that could provide help.

Please read it.

[Lilli Hayes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this as an audiobook. I enjoyed hearing Dr Guha’s approach to treating and understanding complex trauma. I particularly liked how she handled discussing working with forensic patients and the empathy and understanding shown to a group of people so often dehumanised.

[Danielle Peck · Rating 4 out of 5]

A relatively comprehensive, yet impressively light-feeling, book on the subject of trauma (both the victims and perpetrators of trauma). A very good book to understand C-PTSD and its implications on individuals from a broad range of backgrounds and experiences.

[S G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really helpful to understand trauma. Brilliantly well written and easy to read even for people without a psychology degree!

[Suraj Raval · Rating 5 out of 5]

very well researched, well structured, and does a lot to improve understanding of cases that require special care. Must read for everyone interested in the subject.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much insight and complexity. Didn't try to simplify or stereotype.

[Isabel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice mix of clinical experience/storytelling and theory. Up to date statistics.

[Dee114 · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 🌟

[Schizanthus Nerd · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read books about complex trauma before. Most focus exclusively on those who have experienced trauma, classifying them as victims or survivors. They tend to talk about what happened to people and then discuss the various short and long term impacts, and offer suggestions for managing them.

I’ve also read books about perpetrators before, although these reads generally focus on serial killers, a result of my interest in criminal profiling. More often than not, a perpetrator is painted as only that. If mention is made of any victimisation that they have experienced, it’s in a reductive manner. This happened to this person as a child. Therefore, this person acted in this way as an adult.

This book is designed to be a guide to evidence-based psychological frameworks that can aid in understanding the nature of complex traumas, the tasks of recovery, the nature of those who perpetrate abuse, and broader issues involved in service provision and trauma management.

What drew me to this book was the fact that its author works as both a clinical and forensic psychologist. As someone with a trauma history, I’m always looking for new, better ways to manage its impacts. As someone with a psychology degree (the most expensive piece of paper I own), I am interested in the why behind the what when people act in ways that victimise others.

I love that this book delves into something that most people conveniently ignore: sometimes a person is both victim and perpetrator.

We have neat binaries in our minds: victims and perpetrators. Some people are both, and we struggle to know where to place these people and how to respond to them.

One of my favourite parts of this book was its exploration of the way the media highlights the stories of survivors of trauma whose impacts are socially acceptable; these are usually young, attractive, educated, heterosexual, white women. What’s lost in the narrative is everyone else, including those who are incarcerated, homeless, struggle with addiction or virtually any other impact that makes it easier for us to focus on someone’s behaviour at the risk of ignoring their underlying trauma.

When we think about complex trauma it is essential to hold all survivors in mind - not just those we judge to be worthy of healing (typically those we see as being most like us).

I also appreciated the acknowledgment that many perpetrators are very skilled at hiding their true colours from the people they’re not victimising. So many times when I’m reading news articles about a horrific crime, I see quotes from people who know the alleged perpetrator, who talk about what a nice, wonderful, community minded person they are. They can’t believe that their friend, coworker, family member or acquaintance would be capable of such violence.

People who engage in abusive acts often demonstrate situation and context-dependent behaviours, so that people who are not being victimised by them will often see very different behaviours.

A blend of theory and case studies (composites so as not to breach confidentiality), this book would be of interest to both trauma survivors and those who work in helping professions. I anticipate that readers who work with trauma survivors will find the information relating to managing vicarious trauma particularly helpful.

Content warnings include mention of addiction, bullying, child abuse, coercive control, death by suicide, deaths in custody, domestic abuse, eating disorders, emotional abuse, mental health, physical abuse, self harm, sexual assault and stalking.

Thank you so much to Scribe Publications for the opportunity to read this book. I’m rounding up from 4.5 stars.

Blog - https://schizanthusnerd.com

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not someone who works in forensic psychology, so this was an eye-opening read, and helped me to understand the world in a different way. I learned a lot about the challenges that face those who work within the Victorian (as in the Australian state of Victoria!) prison system, and the need for better care for those who are exposed to the pain of others, as well as better care for those who harm others because they are also facing hurt and trying to protect themselves. This does not make their past behaviour acceptable, but it is important to know this to be able to help them to function.

But this is not just a book about forensic psychology - it is also very useful for everyday life. I found Chapter 6 particularly useful. I learned that people are more fragile than we realise. I am a pretty strong person, most of the time, and sometime feel impatient with others when they are hurt by a "small" slight, particularly in a workplace setting. It's helpful for me to consider that people who are reactionary and reactive have probably been hurt and are simply trying to protect themselves from further harm. I should be sensitive, because hurt and trauma are common. I should also be confident about my own boundaries, and what behaviours I accept from others.

It was also helpful to learn what to do if someone discloses trauma to me (and very helpful to have an accurate definition of trauma, which is a word that is thrown around a little too loosely). Thank them for sharing their experience. Say you are sorry that it occurred. If you need to, let them know you need to respond later. Try not to ask questions, just listen. Know your legal responsibility. Listen for what they are seeking from you. I write this here so I can look it up later!

Not every difficult of aversive behaviour is harmful. Most of us will occasionally behave with defensiveness, rudeness, or frustration, though hopefully this does not become a pattern, or involve aggression, violence, intimidation, or any form of coercion. It is important to understand and recognise that most people will behave in a manner that hurts someone else on occasion - this does not make everyone harmful and does not mean that we must protect ourselves from every type of hurt, or address and challenge every behaviour that mildly offends us. Sometimes the things that offend us speak more to our sensitivities than to the intentions of psyches of the people doing the offending