The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

by Ross Allen Rosenberg

The Human Magnet The Codependent Narcissist Trap completely rewrites what we know and understand about codependents, narcissists, and the predictable resulting narcissistically abusive relationships. It is an invaluable and much-heralded breakout book for laypeople and mental health professionals.

It is a codependency staple for both mental health professionals and the general public/layperson. Since its original publication, it has sold over 150,000 copies while being published in 12 languages. Its success is the driving force behind Ross Rosenberg’s successful YouTube channel, accumulating over 23 million views and 250,000 subscribers.

Since the dawn of civilization, people seeking intimacy have been magnetically and irresistibly drawn into romantic relationships, not by what they see, feel, and think, but more by invisible forces. Human Magnet Syndrome compelled relationships predictably begin with a dreamlike “love explosion,” which predictably unfolds into a painful “seesaw” of love, pain, hope, and disappointment. Then, like clockwork, the codependent’s soulmate dream lover predictably and inevitably transforms into the narcissist of their nightmares.

With the Human Magnet Syndrome explanations, romantic chemistry’s impossible-to-escape irresistible love force finally has an answer! Ross Rosenberg brilliantly provides irrefutable and common-sense reasons for this rampant and seemingly impossible perfect storm of dangerous love.

Rosenberg’s brilliant explanations for why patient and sacrificing codependents/Self-Love Deficients fall head over heels in love with beautiful, charismatic, sexy, and exquisitely attractive lovers, who, only after the trap is set, do they safely display their true narcissistic selves.

Ross Rosenberg gives “codependency” and “codependent” their much-needed retirement in this edition. Antiquated, inaccurate, and unnecessarily limiting, these shaming terms cause more harm than help. Rosenberg also adds new information, updates, and refinements.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help

235 pages, Paperback

Published May 11, 2022

Reviews

[Jamie Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most valuable books I've read regarding codependency and emotional manipulators. The author explains thoroughly the reasons for, why, and how people become codependent or emotional manipulators, and why these two are attracted to each other. If you are somebody in co-dependency recovery, this will be a very valuable book for you. However, if you are an emotional manipulator, you will have a hard time reading this book (you might not realize that or even realize you are an emotional manipulator). As the author states, the majority of people who pick up this book and read it through are those who are codependent, professionals, and students studying psychology; they are not likely to be an emotional manipulator.

[Bridget · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, this was a very helpful perspective. I appreciate how simple and direct it is, and for what it's worth Rosenberg is offering HMS up as a *theory*. It doesn't seem wrong to me, but it does feel overly simplistic, and while he's nearly 40 years working with codependents (or as he has re-labeled them, sufferers of Self-Love Deficit Disorder), there is no study presented where his theory is tested.

The way he quantifies its legitimacy is to point at how many copies of this book have been sold in how many languages, and how many people have viewed his YouTube videos. Okay! These metrics indicate lots of people have sought out his perspective, which is not nothing! It's just not super scientific.

But with that caveat, I admit, I did find his insights helpful.

I do question his insistence that 12-step recovery is an absolutely necessary part of the process of healing from codependency/SLDD. And I say that having been to a CODA meeting or two (yikes!), as well as other 12-step groups. But he's just calling it like he sees it, I guess. 🤷

Tl;Dr: 3 stars but recommend it anyway.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Assolutamente illuminante! Scorrevole nella scrittura nonostante l'argomento sia impegnativo. I racconti personali della vita dell'autore facilitano molto la comprensione di concetti che potrebbero essere piuttosto articolati da comprendere. Sì può dire che per certi versi è un libro che cambia la visione della vita.

[Hengameh · Rating 5 out of 5]

With all it's shortcomings, in the right hand this book is a miracle. Thank you Dr. Rosenberg!

[Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a good book. My only slight complaint is in the audio version it's hard to keep track of all the acronyms and what they mean.