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Take Control of What's Controlling You: A Guide to Personal Freedom

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We've all known someone who just can't seem to break free of a cycle of self-defeating and destructive behavior based on personal appetites that are out of control. Or perhaps we've suffered the consequences, big or small, of addictive behavior in our own lives. Stephen Arterburn offers insight and hope for anyone whose life has spun out of control due to addictions. His revolutionary and refreshing approach to recovery positively recognizes and affirms that our capacity to enjoy and savor life is a gift from God that must be fed for us to be healthy. From there, he helps readers identify and understand what personal needs they are really seeking to fulfill through their problematic behaviors, and lays out a proven step-by-step plan that enables them to reclaim control of their relationships, career, personal happiness - and life.

126 pages, Hardcover

First published December 31, 2003

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About the author

Stephen F. Arterburn

257 books154 followers
Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million women, and of HisMatchforMe.com.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.

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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
Profile Image for Nick.
746 reviews134 followers
December 4, 2015
Easy read. There wasn't a lot of new information in here for me, but still it is a good look at our appetites and how we can control them or create new ones. What I liked about this book is that it was about appetites in general and therefore hit a broad swath of types of addiction, such as gambling, over eating, sexual addictions, power, and codependency. There are also loads of examples.

There is also an appendix that has 12 steps to successfully feeding your appetites. I think this is a pretty good resource for ministry if only for the examples and the easy manner in which it discusses the issues.
Profile Image for Trudy.
7 reviews1 follower
April 5, 2010
You can learn from this book if you read it introspectively. You need to consider what your own appetites are and ponder how they have a hold on you and what you are willing to do for them to not have such a stronghold on your life. I appreciated what the author had to share about his own story and thought it a helpful book.
Profile Image for Chris.
46 reviews1 follower
August 19, 2020
Excellent insights for anyone who has struggled to not be controlled by their appetites
Profile Image for Barbara Harper.
860 reviews44 followers
May 15, 2015
Feeding Your Appetites: Taking Control of What’s Controlling You by Stephen Arterburn and Debra Cherry is based on the premise that most of our out-of-control desires are based on God-given appetites that are not wrong in themselves (food, sex, work, rest), but they can wreak havoc when they get out of balance. Even appetites for things that are wrong in themselves (gambling, drugs) can have a basis in a desire that’s not wrong.

Stephen discusses the nature, good purposes, and value of appetites God created within us. But “when pleasure becomes what we are searching for, we will soon learn that there is never enough to satisfy” (p. 33). “Our poor choices are rooted in self-indulgence and obsession with self-entitlement. We indulge to seek pleasure and avoid pain because we think we are entitled to it. The fleshly pleasure we seek is self-serving” (p. 35).

He discusses how change begins (seek forgiveness, stop make excuses, stop blaming others, stop believing falsehoods, and others), the many factors that influence us (including biology, culture, and a host of others), the ways Satan uses our desires against us to tempt us, ways to deal with or redirect our desires, and ways to cultivate a “divine appetite.” The last chapter on “The Surrendered Life” ties it all together in emphasizing that the only way to keep our appetites in their proper places is to walk surrendered to God every day. An appendix and study guide in the back help apply the truth personally.

Sprinkled throughout the book are case studies which are very helpful in fleshing out the principles Stephen is discussing. My only minor quibble with them is that they came in the middle of rather than at the end of sections. I don’t like having to either interrupt the section I am reading to read the case study or read on to finish the section I am in and then turn back to the case study when it could have easily been placed between sections. But, again, that is a relatively minor irritation.

A few quotes I found helpful:

[In Eden] Eve couldn’t overeat because her appetite for food would have been under control and submissive to her primary appetite to obey God” (p. 18).

When we have an out-of-control appetite for food, it signals that we have put that appetite above its rightful place as a necessary and God-given function (p. 18).

The question of how to satisfy our appetites becomes instead a call to seek to obey God in all circumstances and through all appetites and desires. That means making the necessary choices to satisfy our appetites in a manner that honors Him. When we do, true fulfillment is our reward (p. 25).


There were a few little points where I disagreed with his teaching, but not enough to get into long explanations. I will say that I disagreed with his concept of meditation, which he seemed to define as listening to God as opposed to talking to Him in prayer. Meditation is more of a ruminating, thinking over what He has said in His Word, not listening for Him to speak apart from His Word.

Overall it’s a very good book. It covers some of the same ground as Taste For Truth by Barb Raveling except it expands to cover about every appetite you could think of whereas Barb’s book focuses on food. Barb’s style is much more direct, which I tend to prefer. I felt Stephen tended to over-explain or use too many words, but that may have been because I had just read many of the same principles in Barb’s book. This book might be especially helpful for a non-Christian or new Christian or a Christian who had not been taught very well along the way. But really, it can benefit anyone. I gleaned much good from it.
Profile Image for Missy Miller.
100 reviews4 followers
March 12, 2012
This book draws parallels between "unmet" appetites in our lives that occur naturally and our vices, hang ups, addictions....replacements for what we are really looking for (i.e.comfort, love --> food, excitement -->alcohol, fullfillment --> workaholism.)

We need to learn that what whatever it is we are abusing is not satisfying the appetites that we are trying to fill.

Classic stuff here but well presented in a refreshed way. There is a Christian influence to this book as well but I believe non-believers will be able to see past.
Profile Image for Brent Soderstrum.
1,648 reviews23 followers
July 19, 2016
We are all born with a hole that we spend our lives trying to fill. The only thing that will fill this gap we have is God. Instead of acknowledging that we rush around trying to fill the gap with various things which include bad things that make us feel good temporarily. We quickly fall back to the needy stage when the void appears again.

Not much new in this book for me. Nice to get a refresher but if you have read Arterburn's books before dealing with various specific issues you get the gist.
Profile Image for Keshia.
67 reviews9 followers
July 16, 2009
Good book. Quick read. Practical how-to advice for overcoming how we deal with our appetites for desires that may not be for our overall good. A thoughtful and appreciated gift from my 'Sweet Potato'. KLR
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews

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