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This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How to Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between
A certified clinical sexologist’s radically inclusive guide to sex and dating
Swipe. Match. Get ghosted. Repeat. Modern dating can quickly start to feel like an overwhelming slog. It’s easy to forget the point of it this is supposed to be fun. Enter professional sex and dating coach Myisha Battle. Drawing on an engaging and diverse collection of client stories, This Is Supposed to Be Fun is a uniquely inclusive, sex-positive guide to help you skip past the games and get what you really want out of dating and relationships—no matter what that may be. Whether you’re trying to create the perfectly imperfect dating profile, stay true to your authentic self on dates, match with people interested in kink, or break up with compassion, Battle’s friendly, proven advice is indispensable. This Is Supposed to Be Fun will help make the world of dating and relationships more enjoyable (and bearable!) for everyone.
Swipe. Match. Get ghosted. Repeat. Modern dating can quickly start to feel like an overwhelming slog. It’s easy to forget the point of it this is supposed to be fun. Enter professional sex and dating coach Myisha Battle. Drawing on an engaging and diverse collection of client stories, This Is Supposed to Be Fun is a uniquely inclusive, sex-positive guide to help you skip past the games and get what you really want out of dating and relationships—no matter what that may be. Whether you’re trying to create the perfectly imperfect dating profile, stay true to your authentic self on dates, match with people interested in kink, or break up with compassion, Battle’s friendly, proven advice is indispensable. This Is Supposed to Be Fun will help make the world of dating and relationships more enjoyable (and bearable!) for everyone.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published January 24, 2023
49 people are currently reading
2549 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
April 5, 2023
This is not a typical read for this 50 something grandmother, but I can’t say enough good things about this book. It is well written, insightful and educational. There is something for everyone in this gem, so don’t pass on this read thinking there’s nothing in it for you. You won’t regret this one.
March 11, 2026
i just wanted to read a quick non-fiction and now that I'm in a relationship i thought this would just be fun to read from that perspective. while reading, most of the advice it gave made me think about some of my friendships???? what does it mean if some of my friendships are more complicated than my actual relationship???? ahhhh
January 18, 2023
A must read for all the folks trying to navigate online dating in all of its forms.
Thanks Libro.FM for the advanced listener copy.
Thanks Libro.FM for the advanced listener copy.
January 23, 2023
I listened to this one so as to not break my streak of finishing and reviewing every gifted book I receive despite this not being applicable to my life. I dated and married before the world of dating apps and sites...and honestly, this book made me so thankful for that - so much stress! I think this book has very practical and manageable advice for those dating right now and I do recommend it for those who are interested.
Thanks to Librofm and Hachette Audio for this complimentary audiobook. My thoughts are my own.
Thanks to Librofm and Hachette Audio for this complimentary audiobook. My thoughts are my own.
January 5, 2023
I am not the target audience (people who do or want to date) for this book. I shouldn’t have read it. But if the topic is relevant to you I would imagine you would find it informative and helpful!
I received a free ALC from Libro.fm
I received a free ALC from Libro.fm
January 21, 2023
4.5⭐️ full review to come. But the shorthand is I think this is a great book for anyone who is new to the modern dating landscape, especially if you are nervous about trying dating apps.
January 26, 2023
Where was this book ten years ago? Would have loved listening to this when I was younger!
Listened the audiobook, such a good listen! All women trying to figure out themselves need to read this!
Listened the audiobook, such a good listen! All women trying to figure out themselves need to read this!
May 16, 2023
Thought would be less “how to” guide on getting into a rela.
July 16, 2024
Meant for the folks that are dating in a post-COVID world or wanting to feel like they aren’t alone in their feelings (whether partnered or not) ❤️
September 19, 2024
Difficult to rate, but overall a good book I would recommend to a friend
December 25, 2023
Really too basic for me, and I unfortunately found no new insights. Although she has some gay examples and a rainbow on the cover, I think for the most part, this book would be more helpful for straight people.
April 6, 2023
This is supposed to be fun, right? Myisha does a great job breaking down dating, sex, communication and more. The book is very inclusive to all relationship structures and gender identities too.
January 9, 2023
Thank you to libro.fm for providing me with an ALC of this audiobook. All opinions are my own.
This is such a great book! First of all, I love that it is narrated by the author, allowing her to put her own emphasis on her words. Throughout the entire book, she encourages the reader to identify what they want beforehand, whether it is creating a profile on a dating/hookup site, starting a connection with a person, getting into a relationship, or even ending a relationship. And once the reader can state their wants and needs, they're gently encouraged to talk about them early and often with their partner.
Communication is key was the main message that I took away from this book, whether it's communicating with myself or communicating with others. A lot of the time, we don't always identify what we want clearly, and that leads to a lot of issues, which can be avoided. Misread cues, wanting different things, bad sex, or not having our needs met in a relationship are all things that require more communication, and I really loved the way that these things were all discussed throughout the book. Battle presents some easily implementable strategies to put in place, and they all seem so obvious looking back that I wonder why I didn't figure them out on my own.
She also talks about the importance of taking things at our own pace. There are no hard and fast rules in Battle's book, except to do what feels right for each individual person. She's inclusive of people of color, and those who are LGBTQIA, disabled, and fat, making sure that everyone is aware of strategies that will work for them and feel right no matter who they are and what their situation might be. And this is a book that I'll definitely be referring back to in the future.
This is such a great book! First of all, I love that it is narrated by the author, allowing her to put her own emphasis on her words. Throughout the entire book, she encourages the reader to identify what they want beforehand, whether it is creating a profile on a dating/hookup site, starting a connection with a person, getting into a relationship, or even ending a relationship. And once the reader can state their wants and needs, they're gently encouraged to talk about them early and often with their partner.
Communication is key was the main message that I took away from this book, whether it's communicating with myself or communicating with others. A lot of the time, we don't always identify what we want clearly, and that leads to a lot of issues, which can be avoided. Misread cues, wanting different things, bad sex, or not having our needs met in a relationship are all things that require more communication, and I really loved the way that these things were all discussed throughout the book. Battle presents some easily implementable strategies to put in place, and they all seem so obvious looking back that I wonder why I didn't figure them out on my own.
She also talks about the importance of taking things at our own pace. There are no hard and fast rules in Battle's book, except to do what feels right for each individual person. She's inclusive of people of color, and those who are LGBTQIA, disabled, and fat, making sure that everyone is aware of strategies that will work for them and feel right no matter who they are and what their situation might be. And this is a book that I'll definitely be referring back to in the future.
January 24, 2023
Myisha is a certified clinical sexologist and in her debut release she provides readers with an engaging collection of her own clients' stories. She writes: "In some ways, this book is a study of you. You'll have the opportunity to think about yourself and what you want from relationships in new ways. Throughout the book, I offer prompts and exercises to help you along your dating journey. These will guide your focus inward to help you pinpoint the assumptions and habits that serve you, and the ones that don't."
In each chapter she centers what an important role sexuality plays in modern dating whether one plans to hook up or not. In a sex-obsessed culture, she reminds readers of the importance of vetting people out, making conscious choices, knowing how to move and when to move, and assessing our own needs, boundaries, and compatibility with others.
I know that this is a book that I will recommend to many of the clients that I serve who both enjoy the dating game and dread it on a daily basis. Myisha does such a great job of honestly laying out the unequal playing field and what it takes to be an effective player in the dating game towards the end of getting what you want out of it without experiencing burn out.
Thank you to the author and publisher for the e-arc copy!
In each chapter she centers what an important role sexuality plays in modern dating whether one plans to hook up or not. In a sex-obsessed culture, she reminds readers of the importance of vetting people out, making conscious choices, knowing how to move and when to move, and assessing our own needs, boundaries, and compatibility with others.
I know that this is a book that I will recommend to many of the clients that I serve who both enjoy the dating game and dread it on a daily basis. Myisha does such a great job of honestly laying out the unequal playing field and what it takes to be an effective player in the dating game towards the end of getting what you want out of it without experiencing burn out.
Thank you to the author and publisher for the e-arc copy!
January 18, 2023
The inclusive language/framework was VERY appreciated; it's great to have a book like this so comfortable speaking to an audience it assumes may be queer, or kinky, or poly, or nonbinary, or none of those things. I think I would recommend it to everyone who's interested just for that.
The book is strongest when discussing digital dating strategies and scripts, a little less-so when dealing with actual dating and sex scenarios (I wish there'd been more detail about how to procede or manage emotions when confrontations don't go as smoothly as depicted), and really feels like it's trying to do too much in too little (a mere chapter) when discussing relationships in progress. Three stars is my personal rating when I am unsure if I will ever re-read a book, and was my first instinct. But I'm putting this one at four because I'm sure I'll refer to its advice or re-read certain passages at a later date, if maybe not re-read from cover to cover. This has definite value.
The book is strongest when discussing digital dating strategies and scripts, a little less-so when dealing with actual dating and sex scenarios (I wish there'd been more detail about how to procede or manage emotions when confrontations don't go as smoothly as depicted), and really feels like it's trying to do too much in too little (a mere chapter) when discussing relationships in progress. Three stars is my personal rating when I am unsure if I will ever re-read a book, and was my first instinct. But I'm putting this one at four because I'm sure I'll refer to its advice or re-read certain passages at a later date, if maybe not re-read from cover to cover. This has definite value.
December 5, 2023
This book is packed with information, but it is definitely a right place, right time kind of read. I think it is mostly for people who are actively using (or interested in using) dating apps. If you’re not online dating right now, I’d skip this one until you feel like you’re ready to “get out there” and actually go on dates with folks you meet via dating apps.
There’s a lot of valuable advice in here about all stages of dating (making a profile on an app, selecting matches, planning/going on dates). The author definitely takes an intersectional approach and I appreciated how she discussed different aspects of identity like race, disability, and gender.
I listened to it on audio, but I think this would be a good one to keep a hard copy of, just because I found myself taking notes as I went through it. Overall, I think this one is definitely worth the read, particularly if you’re trying to navigate The Apps.
There’s a lot of valuable advice in here about all stages of dating (making a profile on an app, selecting matches, planning/going on dates). The author definitely takes an intersectional approach and I appreciated how she discussed different aspects of identity like race, disability, and gender.
I listened to it on audio, but I think this would be a good one to keep a hard copy of, just because I found myself taking notes as I went through it. Overall, I think this one is definitely worth the read, particularly if you’re trying to navigate The Apps.
April 8, 2023
The major takeaway was that dating sucks! 🤷🏾♀️
I kid. This book focuses on online dating, and there's a lot of prep, and while it's optimistic, man, it's a lot of work. One thing I noticed was dating that would lead to sex seemed to be central, and it's a shame she acknowledged in the beginning that might not be everyone's desire, particularly if you identify as asexual. Either way, the advice was practical. Oh, and I loved all the reflection questions and exercises. This is where the book really shines, and I think you could use them if you're in a relationship. The real takeaway was figuring out what you want in a relationship and how to communicate to find an ideal partner (not the made up one in your head).
Thank you the publisher Seal Press for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest.
I kid. This book focuses on online dating, and there's a lot of prep, and while it's optimistic, man, it's a lot of work. One thing I noticed was dating that would lead to sex seemed to be central, and it's a shame she acknowledged in the beginning that might not be everyone's desire, particularly if you identify as asexual. Either way, the advice was practical. Oh, and I loved all the reflection questions and exercises. This is where the book really shines, and I think you could use them if you're in a relationship. The real takeaway was figuring out what you want in a relationship and how to communicate to find an ideal partner (not the made up one in your head).
Thank you the publisher Seal Press for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest.
August 10, 2025
This was a refreshing and validating take on dating in today’s society. Myisha shares stories from her clients’ lives as well as her personal insights on how we can try to have fun along the way. She shares tips on how to curate profiles and how to communicate your needs in a way they can be received effectively while staying true to what you think your goals are. Obviously, goals can change, and it is important to recognize that as well and adjust your approach as needed. I found myself nodding along, giggling, and even tearing up a bit at various parts — I truly think there is insight for everyone in these pages. Especially post covid when it feels like so many relationships sped up during those years, it is so easy for me to feel alone in my woes trying to navigate dating, but this book was a good reminder that I am not alone and I shouldn’t toss in the towel just yet.
January 22, 2023
A fantastic book that actually touches on the broad intersectionality of dating. Talking about kink, being introverted, setting boundaries, and so much more are rare topics within the broader "dating / self help" ecosphere. This book hit on them all (*including* fears of being fetishized for race or other identity) and does so with such gentle care and consideration. My only wish was that the book delved a bit deeper into the early days of relationships versus focusing nearly entirely on finding matches to begin with. I received a complimentary audiobook from the publisher via libro.fm as well as a complimentary physical copy direct from the publisher.
April 22, 2023
What a fun, relevant and timely book! Myisha Battle's advice is current and for the moment, rooted in the experiences and conversations that she has had with her patients and her real understanding of the challenges of dating. It covers everything from the mundane - tips for how to improve your online dating profile - to the thoughtful, challenging your assumptions of what you really want and what's important to you. It was a delightful book and I found myself dog-earing many pages as I read. I can see it being a resource at all different moments of relationships. It also speaks the truth about dating burnout, and provides reassurance that you are not alone. Highly recommend!
April 23, 2023
A practical guide to dating online if you are new to it or have been doing it for decades. Clever ways to complete a profile to attract what you are looking for, to be more authentic, and get what you want out of a relationship. Very sex forward (it's mentioned in every chapter), focuses on all different types of relationships, and fetishes.
While still not interested in dating, this definitely had some insights in creating the right profile, asking the right questions, and ensuring you know to determine your worth and get what you deserve.
While still not interested in dating, this definitely had some insights in creating the right profile, asking the right questions, and ensuring you know to determine your worth and get what you deserve.
February 2, 2023
Online dating should be fun, full stop. If it isn’t fun for you, you need this book! It has almost every piece of dating advice I’ve ever given and more. The author is an experienced dating coach who I’ve never heard of prior to coming across her book at the library, but the advice is seriously spot-on.
It’s incredibly inclusive of all genders and relationship styles/desires, and this book is not written for a specific audience in mind. Anyone who uses dating apps can benefit.
It’s incredibly inclusive of all genders and relationship styles/desires, and this book is not written for a specific audience in mind. Anyone who uses dating apps can benefit.
April 2, 2023
An accessible and inclusive guide to dating in the age of technology. Battle weaves example scenarios with direct advice and easy-to-follow steps to help the single person navigate the complex world of dating. Plenty of frameworks and exercises to work through on your own when you get to the point you have reached in dating. Even being in a strong, committed relationship, I found a couple takeaways for myself, despite most of it not being applicable to my life.
April 6, 2023
This is an indispensable guide to navigating the choppy waters of modern dating. If I had this book in my 20’s, I could’ve saved myself (and many others) countless hours of anxiety and heartbreak. Battle writes with empathy as well as common sense and experience, both as a dater and a coach. The results are nothing short of a revelation for those stymied by the search for romantic connections of any type!
April 30, 2023
I personally thought this book would be more philosophy & the sharing of other’s stories. However, it was more workbook, advice & task-oriented, which is great for people who are currently dating! I picked up this book to UNDERSTAND the dating scene more, as I’m not currently in it, so I found most of the workbook area not applicable to me - BUT, I think this book would be amazing for people who need it. The author is very intersectional in their approach & the advice seems to be very helpful!
January 24, 2023
An excellent combination of advice and a reality check on what is reasonable or not to expect. Dating in modern times can be weirdly isolating, especially if most of your friends are partnered, and I found it helpful to get additional perspectives on how people approach it. Really appreciated how inclusive it was.
ALC provided by LibroFM.
ALC provided by LibroFM.
March 30, 2023
A lot of this book is reiterating things I already know or do, but it’s nice to hear that from an outside source from time to time. A surprisingly broad number of topics are covered despite the low page count, and anyone dating in the digital, post-quarantine world could learn something from this, regardless of what your dating goals are.
April 17, 2023
Nothing too groundbreaking; just some solid tips on building a profile and setting intentions. Mostly just affirming. Encourages you to get in touch w what you want, communicating that and not taking it too personally when people pass you by. If implemented, a good guidebook to actually having fun while dating!
June 20, 2023
This is a great book for the new generation of dating. Having left a toxic relationship, I was worried about dating again and the vulnerability that comes with meeting new people. Myisha writes sound advice to build confidence, communicate effectively, and helps each reader create unique goals that align with our individual preferences. Grateful for this dating guru!
December 11, 2025
the first few chapters are very exciting. the middle is a little rough, probably because i’m not going on in person dates. but the conclusion definitely helped. it talked about how to know when it’s time to break up, how to bring up an open relationship and how to bring it to the next level and that was cute.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews